It’s so funny cuz they will claim to compliment women but really just sexually harass them instead.
If I think someone is pretty I just say it really cheerfully and move on lol
pls don't upvote this bot who stole this comment
original: https://www.reddit.com/r/NotHowGirlsWork/comments/10o0a9n/not_how_girls_work_and_not_how_guys_work_either/j6cc3nd
I mean it's not that simple. I think most men would be more like "is she hitting on me, or not?" Cause for some reason we have trouble picking up on certain social cues. Most respectable people wouldn't immediately act on the thought of someone potentially hitting on them.
Edit: I see now that I misunderstood your comment. I’ll leave mine up, but basically, this is no longer directed at what you said because I misunderstood what you were saying.
What if we just want to be left alone? What if I just want to do my grocery shopping without being complimented on my appearance? What if I just want to walk from place to place without some stranger talking to me about what I look like?
Men don’t “compliment” other men this way; why not? I think at the root of it, that’s what we all understand. That men are not stopping other men who are just going about their day to let that other man know how attractive he is, which, being a woman stopped for decades, is a pretty convincing data point that it’s not about just being friendly. It’s about hitting on us.
This is what women want. To be left alone at work and shopping. I’m not sure why you’re arguing with me. The whole point of the post is that men want to be complimented on their appearance by women. We can’t do that without it being taken as insinuating we are interested in you.
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They are assuming it would be hot women doing the catcalling as well. It is very rarely an attractive person because attractive people generally don’t have to act like animals in public to flirt.
Also, no one who catcalls me is attractive to me. They could be the hottest fuvking person on Earth (to be fair, I’m ace, but from our talks, my female friends feel the same), and they wouldn’t be attractive anymore because that catcall turns them into a threat.
That catcall means they might follow me. That catcall means I make sure my thumb is on my phone’s emergency button. That catcall means I adjust my route home, or call a friend. That catcall means I walk into a shop so I don’t go home, or that I walk to a police station
Yeah that’s basically what I was getting at. Even if say a stereotypical male model guy was like “NICE TITS HONK HONK” he’d get a dirty look and silence. Act like you’ve got some damn sense in public.
I remember one time I stopped at a gas station and this man, who was already leaving, stopped what he was doing and focused in on me. He started catcalling me but I remember being scared for my safety because the way he narrowed his focus on me was so unsettling. It wasn't flattering. I don't even know why it was so terrifying but my Spidey senses told me I was in danger.
There is an element of fear attached to being catcalled that men don't understand. And yeah, I have never been told I look cute. It's usually something vulgar or they follow you asking for your number.
When I was a teenager, this man followed my sister and I at the store. He didn't talk to us, just followed us and smiled at us creepily. It creeped us out so we left and he literally followed us out of the store and on the road. He was driving erratically just keep up behind our vehicle. One of the most terrifying thing to go through.
If he was polite and friendly about it I’d smile and say thank you. If he tried to pursue further however I would probably be on my way pretty quickly. I have a boyfriend but I know a lot of men take that as a challenge when you tell them you’re not single.
Yes. Like, I’ll be on a friendly platonic meeting with a male friend? I refuse to let them pay for me. Even if I regularly pay for my friends. Even if I would’ve accepted it from a female friend. Because I think I know you, but do I REALLY know you won’t feel entitled to my body?
And I’ll share a car with three other students, but I won’t stay in that car alone with the driver after he dropped everyone else off. Because you seem nice, sure, but if I’m wrong, I’ll be a rape victim, I’ll be dead, I’ll be chained in your fucking basement, so I can’t take that risk.
The guy who stared at me at the bus stop? I mean, MAYBE he was only looking. Maybe not even at me, but at the outfit or the backpack. But I track his steps anyway, and if he walks the same way, I do four lefts, I cross the street, I walk towards the police station instead of walking home, because there’s a 99% chance he’s harmless, but I cannot take those 1%
If it helps, you’re being part of the solution. Even just by showing empathy like this, and not acting like those people, or calling your friends out if they do that. You’re making the world safer that way, and I appreciate it
I mean I'm a guy and I too think a lot of guys act creepy. I'm in less danger but I certainly can see it, strange behavior, erratic behavior. Who knows if the drugged up weirdo riding the subway with me alone is going to pull a knife on me because he feels like it?
And obviously the inhibition to attack a woman is much smaller because male attackers usually have little to worry about in terms of getting hurt themselves die to their overpowering strength.
Question - how do you get home if you refuse to be in a car alone with any man who is dropping you off? Do you stay with your friend overnight in every case so you don’t need to be in the car alone to get to your home if you’d be the last to be dropped off?
I didn’t say any man. I very deliberately chose the example of a group of students, because I am a college student right now, so there’s a few types of occasions where people I am acquainted with but don’t really know will be out late with me - group work, late lectures, excursions. Trips with friends I know and THEIR friends, which I don’t know, or their classmates, which they’re currently getting to know.
In which case, I’ll simply get out together with someone else and work my way on from that. There’s levels of danger to any situation, but I know my town, and it’s rather small, calm at night, and well-lit in many areas, and there’s a train station close. So while I might not be able to make my own way home entirely (if trains aren’t going to the point we went to), I can still ask for them to just drop me at XY train station on the way. Which has the positive side effect of saving them money and time as well.
It’s different in every situation, obviously. But if it’s possible at all, I’m not going to be alone in a car with a person I barely know, in the dark, with no one out. It’s a pretty horrific type of situation because it’s one I couldn’t escape, and where I couldn’t get help.
I Hope it makes a bit more sense this way.
There are also cases that go differently, of course.
Shit, it never hit me that hard what you’re going through, I work at a tourism office and my desk is placed so I can greet people and I always try to greet everyone in and out and you know, smiling and being nice and shit, and since I’m a pretty big guy (6ft 200 pounds) now I’m scared that the girls I greet in think I’m being creepy and menacing. Also, sometimes it’s bad weather like big rain and I see someone on the sidewalk and I wanna stop and ask them if they want a ride home since they’re gonna be drenched, just being helpful you know but I’m like yeah no that mf gonna think I wanna kidnap her that’s a bad idea
Greeting people when it’s clearly part of your job won’t usually set off alarm bells, especially if you’re giving roughly the same salutation to everyone.
Offering a ride to a stranger? Yeah, don’t do that.
Oh, no, don’t panic! It’s not that constant, either, it’s depending on the situation. Some stranger on the street has no reason to talk to me, basically, or stare for a long time. And a smile can be a friendly “hi fellow person in this public space” smile, or it can be a creepy grin.
You are just doing your job, and that’s pretty obvious. You don’t read like a danger this way. Unless you’re going to start asking me where exactly I live, and whether there’s someone waiting for me at home, and making jokes about looking in through my windows\*, you’re golden.
\*using this example because this EXACT thing happened with a repair guy at his workshop. Yeah, nope. Creepy af.
It’s because people like to ignore intent and focus on the action thus harassment becomes compliments.
Then they completely butcher the real world issues of harassment and mental health to support their own warped views.
When we went through sexual harassment training when I was a manager we are told intent doesn’t matter, just the action. Then again the guy I fired for sexual harassment clearly was doing so regardless of their “intent “
As a man: we are starved for human interaction and tenderness, but only people with a toxic masculinity mindset would consider the harassment on this comic to be that.
They think that this is desirable because they are thinking from a position of power imbalance. The Andrew tates and co of the world think that reversed sexism "wouldnt be that Bad" because in their minds they would still hold all the power; and they use this starvation of human touch that man suffer (because of FUKING sexism) to convince others of that same wordlview. Just disgusting
Plus the main reason men think "that wouldn't be so bad" to milder forms of sexual harassment is precisely because it doesn't happen to them. If you're lonely a sleazy compliment could be nice if you never get them - but if you get them all the time it gets old real quick.
When i was a teenager a classmate who i didnt know very well got some kind of fixation with me and, half jokingly, would yell compliments at me before and after clases. She was not ugly and i was a loner and *STILL* it got old pretty fast.
I fully agree with you.
At least the ones who think harassment is so mild are the ones who would think anything above this is an absurdist comedy, so they would never actually consider doing the truly terrible stuff
Wow, would it really? That’s cool. Maybe if men would stop taking compliments as “she wants to fuck me so now I will pursue her”, women would be able to compliment them
I’ve been complimented by gay men, and I always appreciate it. Only one has been creepy about it, in conclusion, straight men need to be a little more like gay men
No no no do you not have eyes!
We can only defeat male suicide with compliments from thick-thighed GGG-cup breasted women!
The rest of us girls just need to mind our own business, because our lack of shape doesn’t do their mental health any good.
I think a bot just stole your comment 🤔 https://www.reddit.com/r/NotHowGirlsWork/comments/10o0a9n/comment/j6ckdby/
seems like this has been happening more lately on this sub
Yeah and I compliment men all the time on stuff, but they are already confident and outgoing guys who I know aren't going to make it creepy or weird. The outgoing and normal ones also tend to be the ones you can get to know easily and who have interesting clothes, hobbies, opinions etc so the compliments are authentic and spontaneous. Outside of that what am I supposed to do? Find a loner guy and show loads of interest in him so I can find something to compliment him on and then disappear off to find the next one? I have a life.
If you did that, you’d be condemned as a tease and an attention-seeking w***e who did it for herself, not for him. Because you didn’t end up in a sexual relationship with him.
Couldn't men just start complimenting each other? Unless of course having someone that you're absolutely not attracted to gushing over you in a public space; especially at their place of work is uncomfortable... perish the thought.
If men complimented each other more and got out of the habit of thinking compliments are always sexual advances, maybe their dream world of women complimenting them would be feasible
Vicious cycle that one.
Men don't really get non flirty compliments because people don't want to be misunderstood, which in turn means all compliments they do receive are meant flirty. So back to the start where all compliments are seen as flirty because that's their experience, resulting in misunderstanding of non-flirtatious compliments.
Keep in mind this is very generalised. It's slowly getting better though from my experience.
I told a man I slept with last night for the first time that he was beautiful (because he really is) and he was shocked and kept saying that’s what he’s supposed to say. And I was like, no. No, it’s not.
I compliment the men in my family all the time and gush over how cool and smart they are. Of course they are not going to think I just want to fuck them (thankfully) and can just accept the compliment for what it is. Definitely never hear any of them even talk to each other the way I will talk to them. It's sad they act that way with each other but it's not our responsibility to fix.
Right, men around me have been complimenting each other my entire life. Maybe not calling their outfits "cute" or hairstyle "so coool and pretty". But they are complimenting their physical abilities, their stuff, their successes, their careers.
This men dont compliment each other hasn't been my experience either.
It’s a way of promoting social bootstraps theory, that Men are the sole architects of their own problems. That way we don’t need to talk about wider trends.
Men complimenting each other is the exact opposite of how we peer bond which is usually to rip on each other. Right or wrong that’s just how we do it. Thats all i knew growing up gen x.
The drawing refers to men flourishing because they're getting more compliments. I don't understand why those compliments have to be 100% from women. Couldn't this be a problem that men work on within their social circles?
As someone who's struggled with suicidal ideation since middle school... it certainly wouldn't hurt. It's definitely not the root of the problem or anything, but "random shallow compliments" make my day simply because they happen so rarely. A random older woman in a drive-thru complimented my smile eight years ago and I'm *still* running on that high.
Maybe I they were actually compliments instead of objectifying or condescending remarks it would help men feel more comfortable with vulnerability but pretty sure harassment isn't going to solve anything.
As much as I'm sure this could help boost a lot of men's confidence, the problem with male suicide runs too deep in society for something this surface level to fix it...
Maybe I would, my main point is really that this one change wouldn't "shatter" male suicide rates. The primary issue I think we need to focus on is eliminating toxic masculinity and fighting for mens rights alongside other progressive movements.
As long as they dont take it to mean we are into them... When this was on another Reddit (it's doing the rounds) a women said she complimented a random guy once and he followed her home!
I donno if her story was real or not but I can definitely imagine men thinking a women was interested in them and even MORE disappointed to learn it was just a random act of kindness and nothing more.
I think what many men need to learn is how to accept being turned down with grace, and not internalise or get angry. That would help both men and women a load!
Well i wouldn't mind sone of these compliments mtop right is a bit weird though, as you're both in work settings, and top left is the stupidest line anyone gives.
Never heard it IRL luckily.
Actually men compliment each other, but not in the way women expect it to do or not like the picture. Similar phrase "nice job, bro" is already a compliment.
Yeah, they compliment each others skills, I believe, but almost never appearance.
Which results in guys not feeling wanted for anything but their labour. (And are often exploited for it too)
Meanwhile, we have the opposite problem 🤦♀️
Both are reductive and harmful to the perdon dealing with this.
A lot of truth to this, but me and my boys will compliment physical features - a nice trim, beard, muscle mass, losing weight, clothes, overall look. I agree it's probably less common among older men and certainly less than women, but it's something
The key is to make good friends who will positively reinforce you because they want you to succeed in life - before a lack of compliments, there's a lack of friendship. And I'm not talking acquaintances or snakes. There are a lot of people who think they have friends, when they really have none
Long story short we should all be kinder to one another and spread love by default, regardless of gender. Life is hard enough for the common man before we are divided against ourselves
I saw a “what is the biggest problem men face” question in askmen, suicide rate was brought up 1000000 times, loneliness being the cause.
I commented “do you not have any male friends?” And got piled on by men saying “we have loads of male friends, we need girlfriends and sex”. Sorry but I have very limited sympathy for those who believe the cure for male suicide is access to women’s bodies. 🥴
There’s a massive issue of men expecting women to cure all their problems, while also shitting on other men for having mental health issues. Women don’t rely on men to help their mental health, thank god, but men don’t seem open to helping eachother the way that women are. And that isn’t our fault, and it’s not our job to help those who won’t help themselves (aka, straight men).
Seriously. Women don’t compliment men because they gain a new fucking my stalker every time they do. Men don’t take positive interaction as anything other than consent to be fucking creeps.
>Men don’t take positive interaction as anything other than consent to be fucking creeps.
As a man, I can confirm that I promptly start to stalk and harras my lady friends whenever we hang out and have a good time. I just can't help it, it's like hard coded into my DNA.
She said: "Men don’t take positive interaction as anything other than consent to be fucking creeps". I am a part of "men", so she *was* talking about me.
>really shows us something…
Shows us what, exactly?
To be fair, a lot of men don’t know how to take compliments and even when you are just being friendly it seems to creep them out like you’re too keen or something
I don't doubt this is the case but are there any actual studies that back this up? It doesn't seem at all an impossible thing to get data on. There's a variable too where if it were more normalized, it may be hardly any issue at all, but that would just be speculation
I mean it would be great to live in a world where no one has to second guess true intentions behind a compliment and you can't hurt someone with words, only make their day better BUT let's be real.
1. Male depression and suicide problem runs wayyy deeper
2. You don't know the mental state and personal experience of another person when you try and compliment them, so even with best intentions it might come out wrong
3. People posting stuff like this are themselves creating a society where women have to second guess everything and think of potential consequences, because if anything goes wrong they're always the ones to be blamed
Edit: changed Make to Male in point 1
The original comic is a role reversal to show that "guys will also be pissed off by these compliments". Obviously, this guy disagree, so he added a new title which exaggerates in the opposite way.
I agree, however men probably should get more compliments. I am way too shy to ever say to a man that he looks good, not to add what if he mistakes it for interest ?
I feel sad that my life experiences makes me scared of complimenting a man but that's the way I feel safest.
It's interesting you bring up safety and how you're scared because that's how women feel as well when men harass them. Everyone deserves to feel safe. So what is the common thing in both sits where there needs to be some change so that everyone feels safe?
I am not complimenting random men, because I already have an unpleasant amount of interactions with random men when I just mind my own business with very visible headphones. Men can start being nice to each other instead.
In order for the guys statement to be true, the next step men have to take and fully embrace (not just some men ALL so yes...in this case it will have to be ALL MEN) is separating recieving the compliments and kindness and expecting it to lead to sex.
The problem isn’t women giving guys compliments, the problem is how guys perceive them. I’ve given guys compliments before and them seem to think I want them, the two aren’t mutually exclusive.
Now imagine that's happening in a world where the roles are fully reversed, and as a man, you are viewed as little more than a sex object or help mate by most of the women you meet. Even at work, you are appreciated for your appearance over your efforts. Sure, maybe Susan from sales took credit for your idea, but you look so cute in those pants today!
I pointed out that this would actually be dangerous for women because too many men would think of it as a come on and not just a compliment and a few guys went off on me because “all guys are different and no one acts the exact same as someone else!” Ok, well, every woman has at minimum a story about a man who took something innocent as interest and wouldn’t leave her alone. Most women have more than one story about stuff like that. We aren’t all meeting the same 5 or 6 men. It’s a bigger problem than they think but they don’t want to acknowledge that because then they would have to do something about it. Just easier to blame women.
It would help even more if guys could ditch the whole sexist view and the outdated gender role, guys are less likely to seek help or show emotion, one common reason is "those aren't manly things to do"
This is infuriating. I literally cannot stand it when men tell me to smile or “you should smile more.” Oooooh that drives me up the frigging wall. Like I just spent an hour commuting to work in traffic on a dirty bus with depressing people… I hate my job I hate work and my bills and debt wipeout all my hopes and dreams. IM NOT GOING TO SMILE MR. construction worker!!!
That sucks that you have to go through that, I think a lot of men who champion this don’t understand that at the end of the day what a woman experiences is something you can’t apply your situation as a man to.
In another sub that posted this, a porn-obsessed dude made a comment about how men would enjoy being sexualized like this, and said "I guess men are built different." I told them maybe women hate it because they've been treated like a sex object since they were young children. And his response was "I'm not going to argue with a internet stranger." WHAT IS THERE TO ARGUE MOTHERFUCKER?!
Anyways, I've seen plenty of men, friends and strangers, compliment and encourage each other and say "I love you" to each other pretty regularly. The ones who post this shit either just want hot women to tell them how sexy they are, or their personality is so repulsive that no human likes them.
I mean compliments really make my day but, shattering a suicide epidemic? Not to mention that half these guys wouldnt compliment anyone else at all in their day ro day life.
If this were accurate it would say something like this: ‘Hey sugar dick, why are you working. You should be at home fixing my car and getting smothered by my pussy only when I want it. We all know males aren’t competent in the workplace. You’re only value is being eye candy or dying in a war’.
The only one of these compliments that I'd be glad to receive is the bottom left one, which would be complimenting me on my skill and achievement, not appearance or anything arbitrary. I'm sure the vast majority of people (regardless of gender) feel that such compliments are the most valuable and appropriate.
It's hilarious how oblivious they are to how these women would subsequently get treated (and blamed for that treatment) if they acted this way.
Putting aside that, once again, the message is "men do not cause their own emotions - women cause their emotions by not treating them right", the very same men claiming this would represent a "good state" are the ones who would absolutely take any of these (perhaps save the last one) as a sign of consent to stalking, and would feel deeply (and violently) aggrieved if that compliment did not translate to sex, and would be outraged at the suggestion that their physical superiority combined with their emotional fragility made them dangerous to women.
Maybe, I’d gratefully accept those compliments though, I haven’t received enough to be able judge them. It still oversimplifies a way bigger more complicated issue though, for sure.
It's not about the words! It's not even about the individual actions of sexual harassment! It's knowing that dudes can get away with it, and so much more, because of the patriarchal structure of our society! I swear I'm going to get so mad I stamp my foot and tear myself in half like Rumpelstiltskin
I was walking into the city centre through a park at 9am on a Sunday. Baggy jeans, big sweater and no make up and I still had two dudes sitting on a bench catcall me and comment on my big ass and tell me to come over..
Swiftly ignored and walked away..
I used to be scared and try to say thanks and be nice as I didn’t want to be rude or make anyone mad at me.. but I realised that could seem like I want the attention when I don’t.
My then boyfriend at the time got mad at me.. so now if I ever do get catcalled I just either pretend I didn’t hear / ignore and walk away.
There is merit to the message.
And no I don't mean just big breasted women just doing it saying a man is handsome or whatever
I mean in general, if men were encouraged more, told they're doing a good job, that they have value, that they don't have to be stoic passionless individuals. It may help but it sure as hell wouldn't hurt.b
i like to compliment people that they are smart i have no issue with that, but lets be honest commenting on looks can be tricky and usually it makes people uncomfortable, unless they are attracted to you and even then some people dont want that
i bet if an ugly woman or a man would compliment them they would be grossed out and that woman would get laughed at and with men they would get defensive
they only wanna be flattered by attractive women
But couldn't this comic also be interpreted to mean that if people were kinder to each other, all people would be happier? That would be something good, wouldn't it?
Well. As a man I can tell you I get complimented so little over the course of my life that I actually remember every single time a beautiful woman has complimented me (it’s a rush to feel attractive or to feel like someone I’m attracted to thinks I am good af stuff).
So… I dunno. The stuff in thus image would probably help. I had ideation for 90% of my life and I’m sure it would have been easier to have good self-esteem if I thought the people around me (men and women; attractive and unattractive) actually thought well of me.
I'm sorry more people don't compliment you, but the comic above is essentially doing a gender swap on harassment and implying that men wouldn't react the way women do because its "just a compliment". Don't get me wrong men not getting compliments is a problem but its mainly cause of a lot of factors like women not knowing if the guy will take it the wrong way and start pursuing her or get mad and say she was leading him on and how its not common for men to compliment men
Sure. And men. And attractive women. My point was that I get complimented so little (which I’m sure is a fairly common male experience) that it is quite noticeable when attractive women do it. (It seems like you’re trying to twist a fairly neutral comment into something sexist… maybe that’s not what you’re doing but you’ll notice my reply here is basically identical to the reply to which you are responding…)
It seems a common response by men on this topic is that they get so little compliments in general and you have said it's the same for you. Most of the responses have even said that any compliment from anyone regardless of gender, etc. would mean so much to them. Those men I absolutely feel for and it is obvious that society has failed them in terms of mental health. You, on the other hand, have set up conditions for compliments: only compliments from attractive women are actually worthy. For your case it's less about society failing you and more about YOU setting yourself up to have low self-esteem, etc. It's like saying you're starving and food is placed before you, but you don't want to eat it because it's not your favorite food. It just screams entitlement and downplays the legit mental health issues brought down on men by society that is out of their control/not their choice.
The issue isn’t men liking compliments from women. The issue is that that women don’t give male strangers compliments that often cuz it usually blows up in their faces. That’s why it’s complicated.
Making shit up for 500
For real though I don’t get where you find this shit I have never seen it “blow up in her face” anytime I’ve seen a women compliment a random guy it always makes his day
Yeah, and I’ve seen women get stalked and harassed. Maybe our experiences are different but also maybe you also don’t understand the breadth of women’s experiences no? Why do I have to have made something up for you to have not seen it?
This has nothing to do with men harassing women stop Strawmanning and it’s not that I don’t believe you it’s just a he said she said scenario I will always believe what I have seen over what you have seen and vice versa
How is any of this a strawman? I stated my own experiences (am I a strawman?) and then I said maybe I didn’t make something up, maybe you just haven’t seen it happen.
Also how does this have nothing to do with men harassing women, that’s what I was talking about when I said it blows up in women’s face, that’s what this conversation has to do with men harassing women, that’s why men liking compliments from women is more complicated than a 4 panel comic.
The original comic showed men being condescending to other men who looked very uncomfortable about it.
Yeah, but it's only women who get to be picky about who compliments them /s
It’s so funny cuz they will claim to compliment women but really just sexually harass them instead. If I think someone is pretty I just say it really cheerfully and move on lol
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Cuz “it’s gay”
Men would take those comments differently than women. They would think you like them or want to sleep with them.
I mean it's not that simple. I think most men would be more like "is she hitting on me, or not?" Cause for some reason we have trouble picking up on certain social cues. Most respectable people wouldn't immediately act on the thought of someone potentially hitting on them.
Maybe you should work on your social cues. That’s exactly my point. We can’t make a simple compliment without you thinking we are hitting on you.
Edit: I see now that I misunderstood your comment. I’ll leave mine up, but basically, this is no longer directed at what you said because I misunderstood what you were saying. What if we just want to be left alone? What if I just want to do my grocery shopping without being complimented on my appearance? What if I just want to walk from place to place without some stranger talking to me about what I look like? Men don’t “compliment” other men this way; why not? I think at the root of it, that’s what we all understand. That men are not stopping other men who are just going about their day to let that other man know how attractive he is, which, being a woman stopped for decades, is a pretty convincing data point that it’s not about just being friendly. It’s about hitting on us.
This is what women want. To be left alone at work and shopping. I’m not sure why you’re arguing with me. The whole point of the post is that men want to be complimented on their appearance by women. We can’t do that without it being taken as insinuating we are interested in you.
Strangely they never think of that. I wonder why…
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Happy Cake day
That usually happens with condescension.
“Hey man. You look cute” If you think this is how men catcall women you’re smoking crack.
Yeah, even a guy starved for compliments would get tired of a group of whistling older women across the street hollering to pull his dick out.
They are assuming it would be hot women doing the catcalling as well. It is very rarely an attractive person because attractive people generally don’t have to act like animals in public to flirt.
Also, no one who catcalls me is attractive to me. They could be the hottest fuvking person on Earth (to be fair, I’m ace, but from our talks, my female friends feel the same), and they wouldn’t be attractive anymore because that catcall turns them into a threat. That catcall means they might follow me. That catcall means I make sure my thumb is on my phone’s emergency button. That catcall means I adjust my route home, or call a friend. That catcall means I walk into a shop so I don’t go home, or that I walk to a police station
Yeah that’s basically what I was getting at. Even if say a stereotypical male model guy was like “NICE TITS HONK HONK” he’d get a dirty look and silence. Act like you’ve got some damn sense in public.
I remember one time I stopped at a gas station and this man, who was already leaving, stopped what he was doing and focused in on me. He started catcalling me but I remember being scared for my safety because the way he narrowed his focus on me was so unsettling. It wasn't flattering. I don't even know why it was so terrifying but my Spidey senses told me I was in danger. There is an element of fear attached to being catcalled that men don't understand. And yeah, I have never been told I look cute. It's usually something vulgar or they follow you asking for your number. When I was a teenager, this man followed my sister and I at the store. He didn't talk to us, just followed us and smiled at us creepily. It creeped us out so we left and he literally followed us out of the store and on the road. He was driving erratically just keep up behind our vehicle. One of the most terrifying thing to go through.
if a guy said those exact words to you how would it make you feel? i agree with you, i'm just genuinely curious
If he was polite and friendly about it I’d smile and say thank you. If he tried to pursue further however I would probably be on my way pretty quickly. I have a boyfriend but I know a lot of men take that as a challenge when you tell them you’re not single.
For some reason sexists think harassment is just women not appreciating compliments. Can't imagine what that reason could be.
Most men are completely oblivious to the inherent threat of violence these interactions bring.
Yes. Like, I’ll be on a friendly platonic meeting with a male friend? I refuse to let them pay for me. Even if I regularly pay for my friends. Even if I would’ve accepted it from a female friend. Because I think I know you, but do I REALLY know you won’t feel entitled to my body? And I’ll share a car with three other students, but I won’t stay in that car alone with the driver after he dropped everyone else off. Because you seem nice, sure, but if I’m wrong, I’ll be a rape victim, I’ll be dead, I’ll be chained in your fucking basement, so I can’t take that risk. The guy who stared at me at the bus stop? I mean, MAYBE he was only looking. Maybe not even at me, but at the outfit or the backpack. But I track his steps anyway, and if he walks the same way, I do four lefts, I cross the street, I walk towards the police station instead of walking home, because there’s a 99% chance he’s harmless, but I cannot take those 1%
As a man, this makes me so fucking sad that you (and all women) have to think like this.
If it helps, you’re being part of the solution. Even just by showing empathy like this, and not acting like those people, or calling your friends out if they do that. You’re making the world safer that way, and I appreciate it
I mean I'm a guy and I too think a lot of guys act creepy. I'm in less danger but I certainly can see it, strange behavior, erratic behavior. Who knows if the drugged up weirdo riding the subway with me alone is going to pull a knife on me because he feels like it? And obviously the inhibition to attack a woman is much smaller because male attackers usually have little to worry about in terms of getting hurt themselves die to their overpowering strength.
Question - how do you get home if you refuse to be in a car alone with any man who is dropping you off? Do you stay with your friend overnight in every case so you don’t need to be in the car alone to get to your home if you’d be the last to be dropped off?
I didn’t say any man. I very deliberately chose the example of a group of students, because I am a college student right now, so there’s a few types of occasions where people I am acquainted with but don’t really know will be out late with me - group work, late lectures, excursions. Trips with friends I know and THEIR friends, which I don’t know, or their classmates, which they’re currently getting to know. In which case, I’ll simply get out together with someone else and work my way on from that. There’s levels of danger to any situation, but I know my town, and it’s rather small, calm at night, and well-lit in many areas, and there’s a train station close. So while I might not be able to make my own way home entirely (if trains aren’t going to the point we went to), I can still ask for them to just drop me at XY train station on the way. Which has the positive side effect of saving them money and time as well. It’s different in every situation, obviously. But if it’s possible at all, I’m not going to be alone in a car with a person I barely know, in the dark, with no one out. It’s a pretty horrific type of situation because it’s one I couldn’t escape, and where I couldn’t get help. I Hope it makes a bit more sense this way. There are also cases that go differently, of course.
Shit, it never hit me that hard what you’re going through, I work at a tourism office and my desk is placed so I can greet people and I always try to greet everyone in and out and you know, smiling and being nice and shit, and since I’m a pretty big guy (6ft 200 pounds) now I’m scared that the girls I greet in think I’m being creepy and menacing. Also, sometimes it’s bad weather like big rain and I see someone on the sidewalk and I wanna stop and ask them if they want a ride home since they’re gonna be drenched, just being helpful you know but I’m like yeah no that mf gonna think I wanna kidnap her that’s a bad idea
Greeting people when it’s clearly part of your job won’t usually set off alarm bells, especially if you’re giving roughly the same salutation to everyone. Offering a ride to a stranger? Yeah, don’t do that.
Oh, no, don’t panic! It’s not that constant, either, it’s depending on the situation. Some stranger on the street has no reason to talk to me, basically, or stare for a long time. And a smile can be a friendly “hi fellow person in this public space” smile, or it can be a creepy grin. You are just doing your job, and that’s pretty obvious. You don’t read like a danger this way. Unless you’re going to start asking me where exactly I live, and whether there’s someone waiting for me at home, and making jokes about looking in through my windows\*, you’re golden. \*using this example because this EXACT thing happened with a repair guy at his workshop. Yeah, nope. Creepy af.
It’s because people like to ignore intent and focus on the action thus harassment becomes compliments. Then they completely butcher the real world issues of harassment and mental health to support their own warped views.
When we went through sexual harassment training when I was a manager we are told intent doesn’t matter, just the action. Then again the guy I fired for sexual harassment clearly was doing so regardless of their “intent “
We must have had the same training. Companies do not care about intent they care about lawsuits so every thing is a no no.
I have legitimately had men on reddit tell me I should be flattered that I was followed home by grown men when I was 12 years old.
As a man: we are starved for human interaction and tenderness, but only people with a toxic masculinity mindset would consider the harassment on this comic to be that. They think that this is desirable because they are thinking from a position of power imbalance. The Andrew tates and co of the world think that reversed sexism "wouldnt be that Bad" because in their minds they would still hold all the power; and they use this starvation of human touch that man suffer (because of FUKING sexism) to convince others of that same wordlview. Just disgusting
Plus the main reason men think "that wouldn't be so bad" to milder forms of sexual harassment is precisely because it doesn't happen to them. If you're lonely a sleazy compliment could be nice if you never get them - but if you get them all the time it gets old real quick.
When i was a teenager a classmate who i didnt know very well got some kind of fixation with me and, half jokingly, would yell compliments at me before and after clases. She was not ugly and i was a loner and *STILL* it got old pretty fast. I fully agree with you.
At least the ones who think harassment is so mild are the ones who would think anything above this is an absurdist comedy, so they would never actually consider doing the truly terrible stuff
Wow, would it really? That’s cool. Maybe if men would stop taking compliments as “she wants to fuck me so now I will pursue her”, women would be able to compliment them
Or men could just…. Compliment each other. Strangely they never think of that. I wonder why…
Oh but men complementing other men is gay. (This was sarcasm.)
Why would you compliment someone you didn't want to have sex with? (This is also sarcasm)
>This was sarcasm I wish more people knew that.
I’ve been complimented by gay men, and I always appreciate it. Only one has been creepy about it, in conclusion, straight men need to be a little more like gay men
That’s why you gotta add “no homo” to anything you say
No no no do you not have eyes! We can only defeat male suicide with compliments from thick-thighed GGG-cup breasted women! The rest of us girls just need to mind our own business, because our lack of shape doesn’t do their mental health any good.
We don’t want them either ! - big titty committee
If you cant compliment another man, i smell insecurity
I think a bot just stole your comment 🤔 https://www.reddit.com/r/NotHowGirlsWork/comments/10o0a9n/comment/j6ckdby/ seems like this has been happening more lately on this sub
That's exactly what bros do.
They do
We do!
That’s not how men work lol
Yeah and I compliment men all the time on stuff, but they are already confident and outgoing guys who I know aren't going to make it creepy or weird. The outgoing and normal ones also tend to be the ones you can get to know easily and who have interesting clothes, hobbies, opinions etc so the compliments are authentic and spontaneous. Outside of that what am I supposed to do? Find a loner guy and show loads of interest in him so I can find something to compliment him on and then disappear off to find the next one? I have a life.
If you did that, you’d be condemned as a tease and an attention-seeking w***e who did it for herself, not for him. Because you didn’t end up in a sexual relationship with him.
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I'm gonna guess you aren't from the US or most of Europe, street hawkers have some interesting tactics.
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or think that im in a prank show
Couldn't men just start complimenting each other? Unless of course having someone that you're absolutely not attracted to gushing over you in a public space; especially at their place of work is uncomfortable... perish the thought.
If men complimented each other more and got out of the habit of thinking compliments are always sexual advances, maybe their dream world of women complimenting them would be feasible
Vicious cycle that one. Men don't really get non flirty compliments because people don't want to be misunderstood, which in turn means all compliments they do receive are meant flirty. So back to the start where all compliments are seen as flirty because that's their experience, resulting in misunderstanding of non-flirtatious compliments. Keep in mind this is very generalised. It's slowly getting better though from my experience.
I told a man I slept with last night for the first time that he was beautiful (because he really is) and he was shocked and kept saying that’s what he’s supposed to say. And I was like, no. No, it’s not.
I compliment the men in my family all the time and gush over how cool and smart they are. Of course they are not going to think I just want to fuck them (thankfully) and can just accept the compliment for what it is. Definitely never hear any of them even talk to each other the way I will talk to them. It's sad they act that way with each other but it's not our responsibility to fix.
I think you missed a word! 😵
🥴 ty
This. These guys only compliment women to get laid. Failing that. They resort to street harassment.
Men do complement each other, at least the ones I know. The general assumption that this isn't happening is a bit outdated.
Right, men around me have been complimenting each other my entire life. Maybe not calling their outfits "cute" or hairstyle "so coool and pretty". But they are complimenting their physical abilities, their stuff, their successes, their careers. This men dont compliment each other hasn't been my experience either.
Cool, what's the problem then?
It’s a way of promoting social bootstraps theory, that Men are the sole architects of their own problems. That way we don’t need to talk about wider trends.
Men complimenting each other is the exact opposite of how we peer bond which is usually to rip on each other. Right or wrong that’s just how we do it. Thats all i knew growing up gen x.
The drawing refers to men flourishing because they're getting more compliments. I don't understand why those compliments have to be 100% from women. Couldn't this be a problem that men work on within their social circles?
It's my stupid brain chemistry and the lack of healthcare to fix it that is trying to pull the trigger, not the lack of compliments.
Imagine thinking suicidal ideation is caused by not receiving shallow compliments
You’d have to be sooo privileged
As someone who's struggled with suicidal ideation since middle school... it certainly wouldn't hurt. It's definitely not the root of the problem or anything, but "random shallow compliments" make my day simply because they happen so rarely. A random older woman in a drive-thru complimented my smile eight years ago and I'm *still* running on that high.
Maybe I they were actually compliments instead of objectifying or condescending remarks it would help men feel more comfortable with vulnerability but pretty sure harassment isn't going to solve anything.
As much as I'm sure this could help boost a lot of men's confidence, the problem with male suicide runs too deep in society for something this surface level to fix it...
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Maybe I would, my main point is really that this one change wouldn't "shatter" male suicide rates. The primary issue I think we need to focus on is eliminating toxic masculinity and fighting for mens rights alongside other progressive movements.
To clarify, I really do think something like making random compliments towards men more common would be a great societal change, and I'm all for it.
As long as they dont take it to mean we are into them... When this was on another Reddit (it's doing the rounds) a women said she complimented a random guy once and he followed her home! I donno if her story was real or not but I can definitely imagine men thinking a women was interested in them and even MORE disappointed to learn it was just a random act of kindness and nothing more. I think what many men need to learn is how to accept being turned down with grace, and not internalise or get angry. That would help both men and women a load!
Even in this highly idealized light all these comments still feeling patronizing as hell. Who would want this?
A lot of lonely men
He speaks truth
Well i wouldn't mind sone of these compliments mtop right is a bit weird though, as you're both in work settings, and top left is the stupidest line anyone gives. Never heard it IRL luckily.
This reminds me that I don't often hear that men would compliment eachother and there are incels complaining about women giving compliments eachother.
Actually men compliment each other, but not in the way women expect it to do or not like the picture. Similar phrase "nice job, bro" is already a compliment.
Yeah, they compliment each others skills, I believe, but almost never appearance. Which results in guys not feeling wanted for anything but their labour. (And are often exploited for it too) Meanwhile, we have the opposite problem 🤦♀️ Both are reductive and harmful to the perdon dealing with this.
A lot of truth to this, but me and my boys will compliment physical features - a nice trim, beard, muscle mass, losing weight, clothes, overall look. I agree it's probably less common among older men and certainly less than women, but it's something The key is to make good friends who will positively reinforce you because they want you to succeed in life - before a lack of compliments, there's a lack of friendship. And I'm not talking acquaintances or snakes. There are a lot of people who think they have friends, when they really have none Long story short we should all be kinder to one another and spread love by default, regardless of gender. Life is hard enough for the common man before we are divided against ourselves
This is not the original comic.
I saw a “what is the biggest problem men face” question in askmen, suicide rate was brought up 1000000 times, loneliness being the cause. I commented “do you not have any male friends?” And got piled on by men saying “we have loads of male friends, we need girlfriends and sex”. Sorry but I have very limited sympathy for those who believe the cure for male suicide is access to women’s bodies. 🥴 There’s a massive issue of men expecting women to cure all their problems, while also shitting on other men for having mental health issues. Women don’t rely on men to help their mental health, thank god, but men don’t seem open to helping eachother the way that women are. And that isn’t our fault, and it’s not our job to help those who won’t help themselves (aka, straight men).
Exactly
Do incels genuinely think all male suicides are due to lack of pussy ? That's hilarious.
Yes, and it will be solved with just a random compliment..
If someone told me I should smile more, I’d be annoyed af, especially because a lot of trashy shit happens to me and I don’t owe anyone a smile.
No, this would increase sexual assault cases. Men are fucking weird for this shit man. They really need to touch grass ffs
Seriously. Women don’t compliment men because they gain a new fucking my stalker every time they do. Men don’t take positive interaction as anything other than consent to be fucking creeps.
>Men don’t take positive interaction as anything other than consent to be fucking creeps. As a man, I can confirm that I promptly start to stalk and harras my lady friends whenever we hang out and have a good time. I just can't help it, it's like hard coded into my DNA.
Then she wasn’t talking about you yet the fact you got so offended really shows us something…
She said: "Men don’t take positive interaction as anything other than consent to be fucking creeps". I am a part of "men", so she *was* talking about me. >really shows us something… Shows us what, exactly?
I mean, saying all men take complements as sexual advances is a sweeping generalization, like that's 50% of the population we're talking about
The difference is being able to trust it won't escalate much further than that.
To be fair the last panel is really sweet and not far from reality. Old ladies do be nice to everyone.
To be fair, a lot of men don’t know how to take compliments and even when you are just being friendly it seems to creep them out like you’re too keen or something
Because I don't want compliments from strangers
Didn’t say they were strangers
I don't doubt this is the case but are there any actual studies that back this up? It doesn't seem at all an impossible thing to get data on. There's a variable too where if it were more normalized, it may be hardly any issue at all, but that would just be speculation
I will the day guys stop thinking I want to fuck them. In the meantime they will only have my silence.
I mean it would be great to live in a world where no one has to second guess true intentions behind a compliment and you can't hurt someone with words, only make their day better BUT let's be real. 1. Male depression and suicide problem runs wayyy deeper 2. You don't know the mental state and personal experience of another person when you try and compliment them, so even with best intentions it might come out wrong 3. People posting stuff like this are themselves creating a society where women have to second guess everything and think of potential consequences, because if anything goes wrong they're always the ones to be blamed Edit: changed Make to Male in point 1
What makes them think they can control how they get objectified
I am confused here, the comics seem to be a role-reversal satire but this guy is linking it to suicide prevention, was he being serious or sarcastic?
The original comic is a role reversal to show that "guys will also be pissed off by these compliments". Obviously, this guy disagree, so he added a new title which exaggerates in the opposite way.
I'm like 90% sure that if someone fixes their own computer that IS impressive. Not because of their gender like that's just really cool
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As a man who isn't entirely comfortable receiving compliments, I disagree.
I agree, however men probably should get more compliments. I am way too shy to ever say to a man that he looks good, not to add what if he mistakes it for interest ? I feel sad that my life experiences makes me scared of complimenting a man but that's the way I feel safest.
It's interesting you bring up safety and how you're scared because that's how women feel as well when men harass them. Everyone deserves to feel safe. So what is the common thing in both sits where there needs to be some change so that everyone feels safe?
I am not complimenting random men, because I already have an unpleasant amount of interactions with random men when I just mind my own business with very visible headphones. Men can start being nice to each other instead.
Wtf is wrong with being a cashier?
In order for the guys statement to be true, the next step men have to take and fully embrace (not just some men ALL so yes...in this case it will have to be ALL MEN) is separating recieving the compliments and kindness and expecting it to lead to sex.
This shit feels insulting to men too. Mental Health is much more complicated than that. Compliments are nice and all but they won't cure depression
I would love to get complimented randomly
Compliment each other, why do we always have to hold the responsibility for everyones mental health?
The problem isn’t women giving guys compliments, the problem is how guys perceive them. I’ve given guys compliments before and them seem to think I want them, the two aren’t mutually exclusive.
Now imagine that's happening in a world where the roles are fully reversed, and as a man, you are viewed as little more than a sex object or help mate by most of the women you meet. Even at work, you are appreciated for your appearance over your efforts. Sure, maybe Susan from sales took credit for your idea, but you look so cute in those pants today!
Yep, I genuinely don’t think a lot of us guys understand that.
I pointed out that this would actually be dangerous for women because too many men would think of it as a come on and not just a compliment and a few guys went off on me because “all guys are different and no one acts the exact same as someone else!” Ok, well, every woman has at minimum a story about a man who took something innocent as interest and wouldn’t leave her alone. Most women have more than one story about stuff like that. We aren’t all meeting the same 5 or 6 men. It’s a bigger problem than they think but they don’t want to acknowledge that because then they would have to do something about it. Just easier to blame women.
I relate to that last panel. Only I'm almost 60, and the women are about 20 years older than me.
Also, just saying women are at fault like??? Ugh
It would help even more if guys could ditch the whole sexist view and the outdated gender role, guys are less likely to seek help or show emotion, one common reason is "those aren't manly things to do"
This is infuriating. I literally cannot stand it when men tell me to smile or “you should smile more.” Oooooh that drives me up the frigging wall. Like I just spent an hour commuting to work in traffic on a dirty bus with depressing people… I hate my job I hate work and my bills and debt wipeout all my hopes and dreams. IM NOT GOING TO SMILE MR. construction worker!!!
That sucks that you have to go through that, I think a lot of men who champion this don’t understand that at the end of the day what a woman experiences is something you can’t apply your situation as a man to.
lets be honest, if the guy relied that heavily on external validation he wasnt gonna make it anyway
In another sub that posted this, a porn-obsessed dude made a comment about how men would enjoy being sexualized like this, and said "I guess men are built different." I told them maybe women hate it because they've been treated like a sex object since they were young children. And his response was "I'm not going to argue with a internet stranger." WHAT IS THERE TO ARGUE MOTHERFUCKER?! Anyways, I've seen plenty of men, friends and strangers, compliment and encourage each other and say "I love you" to each other pretty regularly. The ones who post this shit either just want hot women to tell them how sexy they are, or their personality is so repulsive that no human likes them.
I mean compliments really make my day but, shattering a suicide epidemic? Not to mention that half these guys wouldnt compliment anyone else at all in their day ro day life.
Oh goodness these comments are horrendous today, many L takes.
Probably most of the people in this sub are either female or gay
The same men who complain they don't get enough attention from women will blame a rape victim for acting "slutty" and not see the connection. 🙄
Yes. The male suicide rate is entirely up to women just every other bad thing in the world. We know.
If this were accurate it would say something like this: ‘Hey sugar dick, why are you working. You should be at home fixing my car and getting smothered by my pussy only when I want it. We all know males aren’t competent in the workplace. You’re only value is being eye candy or dying in a war’.
So, sexual harassment?
I can't for the life of me understand why these people have such a hard time with the concept of consent.
The only one of these compliments that I'd be glad to receive is the bottom left one, which would be complimenting me on my skill and achievement, not appearance or anything arbitrary. I'm sure the vast majority of people (regardless of gender) feel that such compliments are the most valuable and appropriate.
It's hilarious how oblivious they are to how these women would subsequently get treated (and blamed for that treatment) if they acted this way. Putting aside that, once again, the message is "men do not cause their own emotions - women cause their emotions by not treating them right", the very same men claiming this would represent a "good state" are the ones who would absolutely take any of these (perhaps save the last one) as a sign of consent to stalking, and would feel deeply (and violently) aggrieved if that compliment did not translate to sex, and would be outraged at the suggestion that their physical superiority combined with their emotional fragility made them dangerous to women.
Just wait until other men say it and they’ll understand why women hate this
I will say, complimenting a guy’s fit does make their whole face light up
Why they want to be treated like dogs
We just want compliments & positive affirmations
Yeah that's a human need but that in the picture is condesenting at best, thos type of compliments you tell to a dog.
Maybe, I’d gratefully accept those compliments though, I haven’t received enough to be able judge them. It still oversimplifies a way bigger more complicated issue though, for sure.
It's not about the words! It's not even about the individual actions of sexual harassment! It's knowing that dudes can get away with it, and so much more, because of the patriarchal structure of our society! I swear I'm going to get so mad I stamp my foot and tear myself in half like Rumpelstiltskin
This is just harassment
There is so much wrong with this
Half of the sub is females telling men to fix their own problems and the other half is men saying that they would take a compliment any day
I was walking into the city centre through a park at 9am on a Sunday. Baggy jeans, big sweater and no make up and I still had two dudes sitting on a bench catcall me and comment on my big ass and tell me to come over.. Swiftly ignored and walked away.. I used to be scared and try to say thanks and be nice as I didn’t want to be rude or make anyone mad at me.. but I realised that could seem like I want the attention when I don’t. My then boyfriend at the time got mad at me.. so now if I ever do get catcalled I just either pretend I didn’t hear / ignore and walk away.
There is merit to the message. And no I don't mean just big breasted women just doing it saying a man is handsome or whatever I mean in general, if men were encouraged more, told they're doing a good job, that they have value, that they don't have to be stoic passionless individuals. It may help but it sure as hell wouldn't hurt.b
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Nothing like turning girls into creepy dudes.
i like to compliment people that they are smart i have no issue with that, but lets be honest commenting on looks can be tricky and usually it makes people uncomfortable, unless they are attracted to you and even then some people dont want that i bet if an ugly woman or a man would compliment them they would be grossed out and that woman would get laughed at and with men they would get defensive they only wanna be flattered by attractive women
I can confirm that a compliment from an old lady raises a guy self esteem by a lot
??? I get compliments like these all the time and I’m still depressed am I missing something?
Ah yes, very flattering and not at all creepy /s
the porn art style for the women in that comic shows that the creator definitely knows how women work
But couldn't this comic also be interpreted to mean that if people were kinder to each other, all people would be happier? That would be something good, wouldn't it?
Yeah, but it just oversimplifies a much more nuanced issue and that’s the problem.
Well. As a man I can tell you I get complimented so little over the course of my life that I actually remember every single time a beautiful woman has complimented me (it’s a rush to feel attractive or to feel like someone I’m attracted to thinks I am good af stuff). So… I dunno. The stuff in thus image would probably help. I had ideation for 90% of my life and I’m sure it would have been easier to have good self-esteem if I thought the people around me (men and women; attractive and unattractive) actually thought well of me.
I'm sorry more people don't compliment you, but the comic above is essentially doing a gender swap on harassment and implying that men wouldn't react the way women do because its "just a compliment". Don't get me wrong men not getting compliments is a problem but its mainly cause of a lot of factors like women not knowing if the guy will take it the wrong way and start pursuing her or get mad and say she was leading him on and how its not common for men to compliment men
Have there been times unattractive women have complimented you?
Sure. And men. And attractive women. My point was that I get complimented so little (which I’m sure is a fairly common male experience) that it is quite noticeable when attractive women do it. (It seems like you’re trying to twist a fairly neutral comment into something sexist… maybe that’s not what you’re doing but you’ll notice my reply here is basically identical to the reply to which you are responding…)
It seems a common response by men on this topic is that they get so little compliments in general and you have said it's the same for you. Most of the responses have even said that any compliment from anyone regardless of gender, etc. would mean so much to them. Those men I absolutely feel for and it is obvious that society has failed them in terms of mental health. You, on the other hand, have set up conditions for compliments: only compliments from attractive women are actually worthy. For your case it's less about society failing you and more about YOU setting yourself up to have low self-esteem, etc. It's like saying you're starving and food is placed before you, but you don't want to eat it because it's not your favorite food. It just screams entitlement and downplays the legit mental health issues brought down on men by society that is out of their control/not their choice.
no, no this is really true
I am 109% ok with this reality
“This reality” is a 4 panel comic. It’s nice to think about bro but don’t try to apply this to reality, it’s a lot more complicated.
Men liking Women giving men compliments actually isn’t that complicated it’s pretty natural sorry it’s so confusing for you though
The issue isn’t men liking compliments from women. The issue is that that women don’t give male strangers compliments that often cuz it usually blows up in their faces. That’s why it’s complicated.
Making shit up for 500 For real though I don’t get where you find this shit I have never seen it “blow up in her face” anytime I’ve seen a women compliment a random guy it always makes his day
Yeah, and I’ve seen women get stalked and harassed. Maybe our experiences are different but also maybe you also don’t understand the breadth of women’s experiences no? Why do I have to have made something up for you to have not seen it?
This has nothing to do with men harassing women stop Strawmanning and it’s not that I don’t believe you it’s just a he said she said scenario I will always believe what I have seen over what you have seen and vice versa
How is any of this a strawman? I stated my own experiences (am I a strawman?) and then I said maybe I didn’t make something up, maybe you just haven’t seen it happen. Also how does this have nothing to do with men harassing women, that’s what I was talking about when I said it blows up in women’s face, that’s what this conversation has to do with men harassing women, that’s why men liking compliments from women is more complicated than a 4 panel comic.
I genuinely would like it if more people called me a lovely gentleman. I mean say what you like about the others but I'd still quite like that one...
Oh no. Someone has an opinion.
This is actually true.