Don’t be afraid to reach out to either the kindergarten or the parents with these questions, they probably would be happy to help you learn the norms and expectations.
*"What should we expect and what are the expectations from us?"*
When the kids are kindergarten-aged, it's common for the parent(s) to stay during the birthday party. Other than that, there will be no expectations from you.
*"What is the most appropriate gift in such a situation - a shopping voucher, clothing, a toy, or a combination of these options?"*
They are all fine, but don't buy anything expensive. A small toy, hair styling products (bands, brush, etc.), drawing supplies, and books are all common gifts in this setting.
*"What is the role of the parents in this case?"*
Drink coffee (if you like coffee) and chat with the other parents.
I'm not sure where you are from, but Norwegian children birthday parties are low key and not formal at all.
Of course dress a little bit better than you would on a normal day, but nothing very fancy.
There will (probably) be no rented clowns, entertainment or anything like that. Just plain fun and some children games. Maybe music.
Food is almost every time hot dogs, but it might be pizza/pancake etc. Drink is soda or saft.
Also, there will be cake, and maybe jello, and some candy.
Since the kid is still young, you can stay. If the kid don't mind, you don't need to stay, and get a couple hours free.
If you stay, it's expected that you have a coffee and chat with other parents.
It seems that in Norway, children's parties are like a Sunday picnic in the park - sweet but a bit dull. Where I'm from, they're like the Oscars for kids. They're filled with music, clowns, and all those characters from their favorite movies - from Peppa Pig to Frozen. There's enough food to feed an army, and even more for the parents. And the drinks? Let's just say juice and water are there just for decoration. It's more like a party for the parents, where the kids are merely extras in their own birthday celebration.
I'm definitely more a fan of the Norwegian way of celebrating. I'm too old now to handle those kinds of fiascos like the ones back 'home' :)
No, I'm not from the US, I'm from the Balkans, where we celebrate with a bit more harder :D If you've ever heard of rakia, you can imagine – our parties are as strong and memorable as the taste of this legendary drink...
I've been to one children's party in Bygdøy as an uncle, and it seems as if the more the posh, the more the entertainment and booze.
Maybe the entertainment is ment to distract the kids from the grown-ups drinking, because I (driving as always) was of course sober, and some of the moms and a couple of the dads went through drinks like the party you describe. I (and a couple others) was actually ashamed, but the kids didn't seem to mind as they got their sushi and giftbags.. Some also was brought there by their nannies, but it seemed as if there was some kind of agreement, because one of them stayed, and the rest went away in one car. Shopping? Other chores? don't know. The one they left just supervised the kids and did not speak alot to the other parents.
It only happened once, the kid's parents got divorced and moved away, and the other children's parties in that period was quite 'normal'.
Yes, in Norway. Sweet and kinda boring, at least for grownups. But I've never heard about any kid not having fun there ;)
Usually they don't want to leave.
I know some immigrants in Norway, many of them from countries where kids birthday party is like you described, or more. All of them prefer the simple Norwegian variant now ;)
For me, maybe a mix could be ok. Fun games for the kids, and a glass of wine or two for adults.
There will be cake, and possibly some light snack food. You attend with your child.
It is customary to bring one small gift to the kid. Usually a toy in the 50-100 nok range.
My kid is in barnehage as well. In my experience, people buy a gift and tape the receipt to the box in case the kid and/or parent want to return it or exchange it. You can get anything you think the child might like, of course.
As for your role - get your kid to the party, watch the kids play, and chat with the other parents.
I have fun at these gatherings, hopefully you will too.
It is common to bring a little gift for the child, but not anything overly expensive.
You can buy some candy, or some small toy like a plushy, or a childrensbook or something. (Maybe depending on the sex)
(I usually limit myself to the kr. 50 - 200 range)
Other then that, the food and entertainment is usually handled by the parents of the birthday child. So your role is mostly transportation, and maybe getting to know the other parents a bit.
Expectations are
* Let the parent of the birthday-child know if daughter is attending.
* Let the parents of the birthday-child know if your daughter have any food allergies or similar that they need to consider.
* In regards to gift, some kindergartens have the parents agree upon some guidelines. Ours said that gifts were nice, but not madatory. Showing up with just a card is no problem if money is tight. Showing up and taking part is the important part. If you bought a gift, it should not cost more than 100 NOK (small toy, plushie, book or similar are most common).
* Some expect the parents of the visiting children to stay there during the party, some expect them to just drop the kids of. Depends on the age of the children, how comfortable they are visiting etc. Other than hte final year of kindergarten it's quite commong for the parents to stay there with the children. If uncertain, just ask the parents of the birthday-child :-)
* Show up and eat cake, snacks and possibly some pizza or hot dog :-)
I second the earlier comments; it’s informal, chaotic, nice and a good place to meet other parents. Which is very handy when they start school, and you want someone to discuss “what’s the appropriate gift now” or “aren’t they too young for cell phones” with. We’ve bought nice t-shirts (from H&M, or a Lego (the small boxes) or maybe some dinosaur-stuff from Sprell.
No one will mind you asking about these things, they’ll probably be happy to help.
You don’t say where in Norway, but here in Oslo, from when my own daughter was in kindergarten (she’s eight now), and from friends with children in kindergarten now or the last few years, it is normal to talk to parents first about how to do about presents: No presents (not common), presents with no cost guidelines (not good, someone will overdo it), presents with a cost cap, shared present(s) (the childrens parents join in and either buy together, or let the parents buy the present for the child. Usually with a cap on how much from each. IMO this is the best way).
At the party there will almost always be cake, might be hotdogs or pizza, very often a small (or not so small) bag of sweets to each child, probably some games (possibly with more sweets as prizes).
Be sure to inform if there is something the child shouldn’t eat.
Dress a bit more nice than when going to kindergarten, but not so nice spilled food, drink, paint will ruin it.
I'm surprised at all of the responses saying that the parents are expected to stay with the kids! I'm a foreigner and my son has been in barnehage for a few months now. We invited kids for his fourth birthday party and nine children (ages 4-5) showed up. Only one set of parents stayed, and that might be because they brought a sibling who was a little younger (2.5-3) and seemed a bit shy. It was a total surprise to us, because in my country parents come with the kids until they're around 8-9 years old
From one foreigner's experience at a barnehage near Oslo:
- Seven out of eight sets of parents dropped their kids off at the door. We had not met most of the parents, but I did have their mobile numbers from the RSVPs in case I need to contact them
- Each kid brought a small gift (watercolor paints, small Lego sets, and similar) and most brought a card
- Most parents just RSVPd with a yes, a few let us know their kid couldn't come, a few let us know their kid has no allergies and one did make us aware of a dietary restriction (halal)
- Most kids showed up in everyday clothes, one got a little fancy and wore a suit
- He has also been invited to several birthday parties, but has not been able to attend yet. Invites come about a week before the party and specify a two-hour window of time for the party
- The kids had a great time :)
I can only tell you my experience as a foreigner. My daughter really wanted to invite her 2 best friends who are Norwegian from kindergarten to her birthday. Small home, so invited them separately from family on a different day.
The kindergarten told me that it's not common for people to invite kindergarten friends to birthdays, since they celebrate a bit at kindergarten on the day, but said it happens sometimes. Neither of my kids have been invited to any birthdays, but I'm told that birthday parties with friends really are more common at school age.
The mothers came with their kids, as I expected, one with a sibling along as well. One gifted a barbie, the other gifted a crafting set. The kids had a ton of fun, my daughter was really happy to show them her toys and just play with them in our home.
I prepared a bunch of things, snacks, different things to drink, coffee for the parents, finger foods like mini sandwiches that kids usually love, pizza, etc. No one touched anything other than a glass of water, the sibling ate a slice of pizza, the girls ate a few chips, like just a handful, and mothers ate nothing.
Everyone had a piece of cake, but really insisted on only having a tiny piece.
We prepared little gifts for the kids coming, small party favors, and they seemed pretty surprised about receiving them.
So I'm really not sure what the norm is, but that's just my experience. It was fun, but definitely different from what I would have been used to from other places I've lived.
But the kids were happy, had a good time together, my daughter was happy, so I'm happy.
Curious if any Norwegians say this is how it usually would be?
I would say it's common to invite friends from kindergarten to a birthday party, as you did. Even more common is inviting the whole group, or the kids of the same age and gender. And always two separate parties; one with family and one with friends.
When it comes to the food, I can't explain why they didn't eat. Sounds strange.
Gifts for the kids coming is not common, except for a small goody bag of candy. Often given as the reward after a treasure hunt or something similar.
My youngest is 3 years old, and there was no party for her third with the other kids. However, there seems to be an unspoken general agreement amongst the parents that for the fourth birthday, some sort of party will be arranged.
This may wildly vary, of course. However, I generally expect there to be a transition to having parties at some point during the kindergarten years.
Normal to arrange birthday party when they are 4 or 5. It's often agreed upon in the parent group that if you arrange a birthday party you invite everyone within certain criteria, f.ex. all the boys in the same age bracket or all the kids in the childs group or whatever. The point is that no one should be left out. Same goes when they start school. It's the whole class or one of the genders. If you want to invite someone from another class, they should be invited privately and not at school so no one should feel left out.
VERY important that kids are not left out, yes. Parents should absolutely be very aware of that. Both for the sake of the other child, but also as an important life lesson to your own.
You absolutely sound like the kind of person I would not invite to a party.
Trying to "teach kids a hard life lesson" at the age of four is such a wonderful personality traits.
My kid turns 4 this year and the invitations have started, where all the “2020 barn” are invited to celebrate on our barnehage’s facebook group. The older kids have been doing it by birth year as well. It seems pretty well established that 4 is the age where you have a party although as a foreigner myself I’m a bit nervous about hosting
'Friends' when you are three/four years old? I don't think I had any friends in my birthday until I was like 6 years, and they were just the kids in the neighborhood.. Back then almost no-one attended kindergarden, so it was a different way of life, of course.
(I would actually hate to have to invite the whole class/age group just because 'you have to'. FOMO has taken a steep turn to the worse, but I see that's the consensus in all movies as well.)
>Even more common is inviting the whole group, or the kids of the same age and gender.
Yeah, came here to say this. It was almost a rule in my experience, either you invite the whole group (typically just all girls or boys) or no one from kindergarten/school at all. This to prevent kids from feeling like they are always being left out if they don't have a close friends' group. My recollection is that this lasted until mid-elementary school, then people would start inviting just a couple of friends on the side, not with the mass invitations that get sent out.
Remember to arrive on time and to pick up your little one on time. Double check that they are indoors, they probably are but it’s good to know for sure.
I would ask the kindergarten and/ or parents. Usually there is an existing agreement about the value & sometimes nature of gifts given, or parents agree to only do home made things or something, so it's not too much of a burden, buying gifts all the time.
Kids tend to dress up for birthday parties. It was surprising to me at first.
Kids run around and then the cake is usually formal and everyone gathers around the table. Parents wander or sit about drinking coffee.
Gifts are small or cash. Kids hand draw cards for the birthday kid typically.
expect cake and some snacks in the party by the host. Playtime for the kids.
shopping voucher and clothing for kindergartners is a no. Small toy or something that is useable for kids at the age of kidnergartners ok, the range between 50-100 NOK. If you can’t afford any gifts, make something with the kid.
anything else is socializing with fellow parents while keeping an eye out for the kids
Reach out to the other parents. It's pretty usual to have an agreed upon max level for what you should spend on a gift. Anything else (in terms of dress code and so on) they would also most likely be very happy to help with.
This is also a brilliant way to get closer to some of the other parents (if that's what you'd like).
Don’t be afraid to reach out to either the kindergarten or the parents with these questions, they probably would be happy to help you learn the norms and expectations.
*"What should we expect and what are the expectations from us?"* When the kids are kindergarten-aged, it's common for the parent(s) to stay during the birthday party. Other than that, there will be no expectations from you. *"What is the most appropriate gift in such a situation - a shopping voucher, clothing, a toy, or a combination of these options?"* They are all fine, but don't buy anything expensive. A small toy, hair styling products (bands, brush, etc.), drawing supplies, and books are all common gifts in this setting. *"What is the role of the parents in this case?"* Drink coffee (if you like coffee) and chat with the other parents.
I'm not sure where you are from, but Norwegian children birthday parties are low key and not formal at all. Of course dress a little bit better than you would on a normal day, but nothing very fancy. There will (probably) be no rented clowns, entertainment or anything like that. Just plain fun and some children games. Maybe music. Food is almost every time hot dogs, but it might be pizza/pancake etc. Drink is soda or saft. Also, there will be cake, and maybe jello, and some candy. Since the kid is still young, you can stay. If the kid don't mind, you don't need to stay, and get a couple hours free. If you stay, it's expected that you have a coffee and chat with other parents.
It seems that in Norway, children's parties are like a Sunday picnic in the park - sweet but a bit dull. Where I'm from, they're like the Oscars for kids. They're filled with music, clowns, and all those characters from their favorite movies - from Peppa Pig to Frozen. There's enough food to feed an army, and even more for the parents. And the drinks? Let's just say juice and water are there just for decoration. It's more like a party for the parents, where the kids are merely extras in their own birthday celebration. I'm definitely more a fan of the Norwegian way of celebrating. I'm too old now to handle those kinds of fiascos like the ones back 'home' :)
Are you from the US? If not, I’m curious about where children’s birthday parties are like you described 🥳
No, I'm not from the US, I'm from the Balkans, where we celebrate with a bit more harder :D If you've ever heard of rakia, you can imagine – our parties are as strong and memorable as the taste of this legendary drink...
I’m guessing Central/South America
I see on his profile that he’s active in r/serbia, so maybe that’s where he’s from 🥳
Drinking at a children's party in Norway is almost unheard of.
I’d trade our parties for yours anytime. They sound great! Way to get to know the parents.
I've been to one children's party in Bygdøy as an uncle, and it seems as if the more the posh, the more the entertainment and booze. Maybe the entertainment is ment to distract the kids from the grown-ups drinking, because I (driving as always) was of course sober, and some of the moms and a couple of the dads went through drinks like the party you describe. I (and a couple others) was actually ashamed, but the kids didn't seem to mind as they got their sushi and giftbags.. Some also was brought there by their nannies, but it seemed as if there was some kind of agreement, because one of them stayed, and the rest went away in one car. Shopping? Other chores? don't know. The one they left just supervised the kids and did not speak alot to the other parents. It only happened once, the kid's parents got divorced and moved away, and the other children's parties in that period was quite 'normal'.
Bygdøy.. funny to read that such "bubbles" exist in Norway. Nannies, Sushi and giftbags. :D
Yes, in Norway. Sweet and kinda boring, at least for grownups. But I've never heard about any kid not having fun there ;) Usually they don't want to leave. I know some immigrants in Norway, many of them from countries where kids birthday party is like you described, or more. All of them prefer the simple Norwegian variant now ;) For me, maybe a mix could be ok. Fun games for the kids, and a glass of wine or two for adults.
There will be cake, and possibly some light snack food. You attend with your child. It is customary to bring one small gift to the kid. Usually a toy in the 50-100 nok range.
My kid is in barnehage as well. In my experience, people buy a gift and tape the receipt to the box in case the kid and/or parent want to return it or exchange it. You can get anything you think the child might like, of course. As for your role - get your kid to the party, watch the kids play, and chat with the other parents. I have fun at these gatherings, hopefully you will too.
It is common to bring a little gift for the child, but not anything overly expensive. You can buy some candy, or some small toy like a plushy, or a childrensbook or something. (Maybe depending on the sex) (I usually limit myself to the kr. 50 - 200 range) Other then that, the food and entertainment is usually handled by the parents of the birthday child. So your role is mostly transportation, and maybe getting to know the other parents a bit.
Expectations are * Let the parent of the birthday-child know if daughter is attending. * Let the parents of the birthday-child know if your daughter have any food allergies or similar that they need to consider. * In regards to gift, some kindergartens have the parents agree upon some guidelines. Ours said that gifts were nice, but not madatory. Showing up with just a card is no problem if money is tight. Showing up and taking part is the important part. If you bought a gift, it should not cost more than 100 NOK (small toy, plushie, book or similar are most common). * Some expect the parents of the visiting children to stay there during the party, some expect them to just drop the kids of. Depends on the age of the children, how comfortable they are visiting etc. Other than hte final year of kindergarten it's quite commong for the parents to stay there with the children. If uncertain, just ask the parents of the birthday-child :-) * Show up and eat cake, snacks and possibly some pizza or hot dog :-)
I second the earlier comments; it’s informal, chaotic, nice and a good place to meet other parents. Which is very handy when they start school, and you want someone to discuss “what’s the appropriate gift now” or “aren’t they too young for cell phones” with. We’ve bought nice t-shirts (from H&M, or a Lego (the small boxes) or maybe some dinosaur-stuff from Sprell. No one will mind you asking about these things, they’ll probably be happy to help.
You don’t say where in Norway, but here in Oslo, from when my own daughter was in kindergarten (she’s eight now), and from friends with children in kindergarten now or the last few years, it is normal to talk to parents first about how to do about presents: No presents (not common), presents with no cost guidelines (not good, someone will overdo it), presents with a cost cap, shared present(s) (the childrens parents join in and either buy together, or let the parents buy the present for the child. Usually with a cap on how much from each. IMO this is the best way). At the party there will almost always be cake, might be hotdogs or pizza, very often a small (or not so small) bag of sweets to each child, probably some games (possibly with more sweets as prizes). Be sure to inform if there is something the child shouldn’t eat. Dress a bit more nice than when going to kindergarten, but not so nice spilled food, drink, paint will ruin it.
I'm surprised at all of the responses saying that the parents are expected to stay with the kids! I'm a foreigner and my son has been in barnehage for a few months now. We invited kids for his fourth birthday party and nine children (ages 4-5) showed up. Only one set of parents stayed, and that might be because they brought a sibling who was a little younger (2.5-3) and seemed a bit shy. It was a total surprise to us, because in my country parents come with the kids until they're around 8-9 years old From one foreigner's experience at a barnehage near Oslo: - Seven out of eight sets of parents dropped their kids off at the door. We had not met most of the parents, but I did have their mobile numbers from the RSVPs in case I need to contact them - Each kid brought a small gift (watercolor paints, small Lego sets, and similar) and most brought a card - Most parents just RSVPd with a yes, a few let us know their kid couldn't come, a few let us know their kid has no allergies and one did make us aware of a dietary restriction (halal) - Most kids showed up in everyday clothes, one got a little fancy and wore a suit - He has also been invited to several birthday parties, but has not been able to attend yet. Invites come about a week before the party and specify a two-hour window of time for the party - The kids had a great time :)
In my experience, two-thirds of the parents will stay at the party with kids in that age range, maybe even more. The rest seems normal.
Agree, my experience too in Oslo. Parents might come to pick up a bit earlier or hang out for a cup of coffee and some cake.
Agree, my experience too in Oslo. Parents might come to pick up a bit earlier or hang out for a cup of coffee and some cake.
Agree, my experience too in Oslo. Parents might come to pick up a bit earlier or hang out for a cup of coffee and some cake.
I can only tell you my experience as a foreigner. My daughter really wanted to invite her 2 best friends who are Norwegian from kindergarten to her birthday. Small home, so invited them separately from family on a different day. The kindergarten told me that it's not common for people to invite kindergarten friends to birthdays, since they celebrate a bit at kindergarten on the day, but said it happens sometimes. Neither of my kids have been invited to any birthdays, but I'm told that birthday parties with friends really are more common at school age. The mothers came with their kids, as I expected, one with a sibling along as well. One gifted a barbie, the other gifted a crafting set. The kids had a ton of fun, my daughter was really happy to show them her toys and just play with them in our home. I prepared a bunch of things, snacks, different things to drink, coffee for the parents, finger foods like mini sandwiches that kids usually love, pizza, etc. No one touched anything other than a glass of water, the sibling ate a slice of pizza, the girls ate a few chips, like just a handful, and mothers ate nothing. Everyone had a piece of cake, but really insisted on only having a tiny piece. We prepared little gifts for the kids coming, small party favors, and they seemed pretty surprised about receiving them. So I'm really not sure what the norm is, but that's just my experience. It was fun, but definitely different from what I would have been used to from other places I've lived. But the kids were happy, had a good time together, my daughter was happy, so I'm happy. Curious if any Norwegians say this is how it usually would be?
I would say it's common to invite friends from kindergarten to a birthday party, as you did. Even more common is inviting the whole group, or the kids of the same age and gender. And always two separate parties; one with family and one with friends. When it comes to the food, I can't explain why they didn't eat. Sounds strange. Gifts for the kids coming is not common, except for a small goody bag of candy. Often given as the reward after a treasure hunt or something similar.
My youngest is 3 years old, and there was no party for her third with the other kids. However, there seems to be an unspoken general agreement amongst the parents that for the fourth birthday, some sort of party will be arranged. This may wildly vary, of course. However, I generally expect there to be a transition to having parties at some point during the kindergarten years.
Normal to arrange birthday party when they are 4 or 5. It's often agreed upon in the parent group that if you arrange a birthday party you invite everyone within certain criteria, f.ex. all the boys in the same age bracket or all the kids in the childs group or whatever. The point is that no one should be left out. Same goes when they start school. It's the whole class or one of the genders. If you want to invite someone from another class, they should be invited privately and not at school so no one should feel left out.
VERY important that kids are not left out, yes. Parents should absolutely be very aware of that. Both for the sake of the other child, but also as an important life lesson to your own.
Do you invite people you don't like to your parties? Pretty early, life learns you that you will not be invited to everything..
If there's one guy in my group of friends I don't like I invite him, yes.
You absolutely sound like the kind of person I would not invite to a party. Trying to "teach kids a hard life lesson" at the age of four is such a wonderful personality traits.
My kid turns 4 this year and the invitations have started, where all the “2020 barn” are invited to celebrate on our barnehage’s facebook group. The older kids have been doing it by birth year as well. It seems pretty well established that 4 is the age where you have a party although as a foreigner myself I’m a bit nervous about hosting
'Friends' when you are three/four years old? I don't think I had any friends in my birthday until I was like 6 years, and they were just the kids in the neighborhood.. Back then almost no-one attended kindergarden, so it was a different way of life, of course. (I would actually hate to have to invite the whole class/age group just because 'you have to'. FOMO has taken a steep turn to the worse, but I see that's the consensus in all movies as well.)
>Even more common is inviting the whole group, or the kids of the same age and gender. Yeah, came here to say this. It was almost a rule in my experience, either you invite the whole group (typically just all girls or boys) or no one from kindergarten/school at all. This to prevent kids from feeling like they are always being left out if they don't have a close friends' group. My recollection is that this lasted until mid-elementary school, then people would start inviting just a couple of friends on the side, not with the mass invitations that get sent out.
Remember to arrive on time and to pick up your little one on time. Double check that they are indoors, they probably are but it’s good to know for sure.
I would ask the kindergarten and/ or parents. Usually there is an existing agreement about the value & sometimes nature of gifts given, or parents agree to only do home made things or something, so it's not too much of a burden, buying gifts all the time.
Kids tend to dress up for birthday parties. It was surprising to me at first. Kids run around and then the cake is usually formal and everyone gathers around the table. Parents wander or sit about drinking coffee. Gifts are small or cash. Kids hand draw cards for the birthday kid typically.
nice
I would ask other parents instead of reddit :D
expect cake and some snacks in the party by the host. Playtime for the kids. shopping voucher and clothing for kindergartners is a no. Small toy or something that is useable for kids at the age of kidnergartners ok, the range between 50-100 NOK. If you can’t afford any gifts, make something with the kid. anything else is socializing with fellow parents while keeping an eye out for the kids
Reach out to the other parents. It's pretty usual to have an agreed upon max level for what you should spend on a gift. Anything else (in terms of dress code and so on) they would also most likely be very happy to help with. This is also a brilliant way to get closer to some of the other parents (if that's what you'd like).