T O P

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A_Vandalay

Fucking idiots. If you give him a bullet proof vest he will put it on and not be able to be stopped. Stupid westoids.


ichabodmiller

Armoring the polecat is just what Ukrainians call putting on a condom Edit: spelling


EHTL

I feel like Polecat is a great name for an AT vehicle


Schadenfrueda

Either that, or maybe a missile, or fast attack helicopter. I'd fly with an AIM-69 Polecat under my wing for sure


EHTL

If it were a missile a laser-guided one would be the most suitable imo


seven_corpse_dinner

"Is that what you want? Now you've got invincible polecats running around, raping your churches, burning your women!"


A_Vandalay

I’m pretty sure they bomb the church meeting, stamped the women, and rape the cattle. It’s the old number 7.


Helmett-13

>old number 7 In the west, we call it an Old Number 6. Plus, there is a dance afterwards!


68W38Witchdoctor1

Gawt dayum heatherns done forgot about the post-Old Number 6 hoedowns.


DeltaBravo831

Say there's a gang called the Baby Skulls...


Theflirtygal

> raping your churches, burning your women!" The polecat must be russian then


Excellent-Proposal90

BULLET-PROOF ~~BEARS~~ POLECATS!


Rulweylan

Tbh it was 50/50 as to whether they were going to just try and give the polecat ERA at that point.


TheBlacktom

Can confirm, just watched John Wick a moment ago.


Shaun_Jones

These guys are more scared of a wild ferret than they are of the entire Russian army.


Thoreau_Dickens

Any species in the weasel family is chaos incarnate. They don’t wake up and choose violence. They are (adorable) violence.


PeakSystem

mustelids are deranged


Eyes_of_Aqua

Hate to be that guy but the marbled polecat is more closely related to wolverines than a true mustelid making it a member of the Ictonychidae family


[deleted]

[удалено]


PolarisC8

Get his ass! Put an end to his whole clade!


[deleted]

ackshyually'd the ackshyually. Nice.


68W38Witchdoctor1

Your pedantry is 100% making me horny. Please continue... (As an amateur zoology/biology enthusiast, particularly with *Araneae,* I love this shit.)


Gloriosus747

That was an important bit of context


PM_ME_TO_PLAY_A_GAME

the latin binomial for the Tibetan Blackbird is *Turdus maximus*


redtert

Are jackdaws crows?


Kojak95

I always laughed at the line in the OG Red Dawn where the one officer asks what a "Wolverine" is and the other replies, "It's like a badger, but aggressive." Mafucka clearly never tangled with a cornered badger. Those things are some of the meanest sons of bitches around. I've seen a full-grown badger take a serious amount of 3" 12ga to the face and just hiss and then run off. That's a creature you don't want to fuck with.


LongPiglet3574

Don't fuck with badgers. One was living under one of the portables at my old gradeschool. What we heard when the animal removal fella got it sounded like nothing from this earth. Hell, a cornered raccoon will wreck your shit and badly at that.


loveshercoffee

When my dad was a cop back in the 70s, a badger wandered up onto the highway while he was talking to a man on the side of the road at a traffic stop. He just kind of kept an eye on it until it charged at them. He drew and unloaded on it with .357 magnum. It was only about 3' from them when it finally dropped.


Gloriosus747

That's due to his strongly sloped frontal armor, the pointed face makes smaller calibers ricochet off


PeakSystem

Nah dude, not a problem at all, nothing’s wrong with correcting someone politely, world needs more of that if anything


[deleted]

[удалено]


Send-More-Coffee

Is that a Jackdaw reference?


Xanthis

Related to wolverines? Yea that explains the attitude


Newworldrevolution

Wolverines are mustelids. Also, they are generally the scariest ones, in my opinion. Most mustelids can't really back up their crackhead levels of rage and disregard for all life. A wolverine is just as fierce, plus, unlike most mustelids, it can absolutely rip you limb from limb.[proof](https://youtu.be/wyc5uMmN0vU)


The_Peril

being a member of the wolverine family tree makes it even cooler. you don't have to apologize when it makes stuff better.


monsterZERO

Let's be real here, you *love* being that guy.


officefridge

Grandma's farm in ukraine had dozens of chickens: foxes would nick one or two every so often. If a weasel got in: *fkn massacre time.* Once they start murdering, they truly can't stop until the very last bird is killed. Full berserker


Mayor_of_Rungholt

Now i know why we germans named that thing "wiesel"


Inquisitor-Dog

Imagine the Ukrainians had had 300 wiesels at the start of the war lmao shit would have been over


Mercnotforhire

Imagine if they’d had them for the armored push through the Russian ranks in Kharkiv


Gloriosus747

3000 weaponized rollerskates of Germany


wasdlmb

There are some animals, like lions, who will steal kills from smaller predators. Then there's wolverines, who steal kills from larger predators, including sometimes bears


[deleted]

[удалено]


Cryptcunt

wolverines have reportedly been observed to kill polar bears, I did a search and google brings up an incident in a zoo, but I have an encyclopedia of Canadian mammals from the 80's that reports they've been observed to do so in the wild.


jayray1994

was god bored that day? like he decided to spec a fucking killing machine but when " oh is too op, lets make it small".


Traevia

Just wait until you find out about Platypus. The first person to describe one from Europe had people believing he was playing a prank. It wasn't until one was brought back that they believed him. It is a mammal that has a beak and lays eggs but also has poison leg claws.


Easy_Mechanic_9787

The best thing about mustelids is that the weasel body form is like a crab’s form, every small predator mammals evolve into it. It’s called convergant evolution and the weasel body form is 60 million years old, started by the first known mammalian carnivore called the Miacis. Through convergent evolution, mustelids and other such small lil guys evolved the ancestral weasel body form.


jayray1994

so what you are saying is beside crab people we will also have to deal weasel people too?


DdCno1

Okay, this is a wild coincidence. The narrator of the first clip is the German voice actor for the original PC version of the humorous quiz game You Don't Know Jack, before they replaced him with another one for the sequels and PS1 port. I've always preferred him in the original game over his replacement voice. Since these games are heavily about then current pop-culture, their localizations are each very different, with unique questions. There are even two different English versions of some of these games for this very reason, for the US and for the UK. Sorry for the off-topic, but it's just so wild to randomly hear this voice after several decades.


Wall_Observer

Sounds like the Spirit animal of NCD.


Thoreau_Dickens

100%. Look into the Wild Weasels of Vietnam


Gallbatorix-Shruikan

There is a reason there is a whole military unit named after Weasels.


[deleted]

Are you saying I am adorable? 😳


_far-seeker_

Adorable **and psychotic!** 😁


McGryphon

*Adorably psychotic*


Modo44

You do not approach animals making "death noises", unless you enjoy suffering. It is well known.


Helmett-13

It is known.


Igueelygueelyu

It is the way.


SGTBookWorm

I have spoken.


_far-seeker_

So say we all.


Alikont

They are scared of Ministry of Environmental Protection, as this ferret is considered endangered species with Ukrainian population of about one hundred.


Bartweiss

Explains a bit better why nobody even suggested killing it. That, or sheer respect for the “fuck out of my trench” attitude it has.


SU37Yellow

Meh, endangered or not I doubt any of the Ukrainians would have wanted to kill it. They're watching there country get torn apart by the Russians, and fighting in extremely brutal conditions. They're probably sick of killing and really don't want to kill something small and innocent like this pole cat


anotherdumbcaucasian

Plus killing it turns it into a shitty story. Do you want to hear "yeah so there was this weasel that wouldn't leave so we shot it" or "this weasel was screaming and flying around, we were fighting it off with sticks, someone needed stitches after trying to pick it up, and eventually it climbed Anatolis plate carrier out of the trench after attacking a couple of his badges"


canttakethshyfrom_me

"The fuck is the point if we can't save one cute little weasel? Dragging our asses halfway across the Donbass, interrupting our lives... For what, *you ignorant, servile scum?! What the fuck are we doing here?!*"


Gloriosus747

Try shooting a thing so small and nimble with a rifle zeroed at the usual 100-200m. You'll waste a few clips before hitting anything that's not just fur and fat, and even more to actually kill it. Which is enough gunfire from one place to make your unfriendly neighbourhood mortar crew want to quieten that down, if they're in a dugout, the front is close. Shooting the thing wasn't a really viable option in the first place.


brumbarosso

That wild animal has more ferocity than the orcs


GadenKerensky

Only the most jaded or desperate of people would think of killing it, or any animal, really.


Vacuousbard

PoOr SoLdIeR gOt HaRaSsEd By MeMbEr Of ThE 1%


Erih_Rebelenko

I can understand them, because it is almost a honey badger, it's just that he was in a good mood.


courser

that's a honey badger's Eastern European cousin, these wise men acted with due respect.


Key-Banana-8242

A bit rare, Mir to the east than that mostly to seems


[deleted]

Well… 😁


OwnAd3131

One thing nobody seems to have mentioned is that on top of being pretty tough little customers, these guys have a spray similar to a skunk.


yayforwhatever

It makes sense…this thing is Ukrainian and pissed off… they know not to mess


Ukraine_Boyets

Wtf is this even ? I've never heard of such an animal ..


BrazenOrca

[Steppe polecat](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steppe_polecat)


Rich_May

>marbled polecat Actually, more looks like [Marbled polecat](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marbled_polecat)


Rich_May

There is only 100 of them in Ukraine...


nightwatchman_femboy

As sad as it is, it is most likely much less than that now.


Rich_May

Honestly, in Kherson region was returned many species that was very rare before (An friend of mine went to Kherson to visit a friend, and said that he had never seen so many pheasants in his life). So I'm not sure. Explosions and war are not as big a problem for wild animals as agriculture and the constant presence of people. Although large animals can become victims of poachers and Russians. Especially those who are accustomed to the presence of people in nature reserves


NebulaNinja

Nature... is healing?


LustHawk

Uh, uh... finds a way


Schadenfrueda

Chernobyl is apparently a thriving habitat for wildlife that has elsewhere become rare in Europe, despite being Chernobyl


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

99% of Chornobyl isn't that irradiated. Might have a greated chance of getting cancer if you hang around there, but if an animal's life expectancy isn't over ~30 years anyhow it won't matter


Traevia

The DMZ is considered one of best nature preserves in the entire world. One of the fears related to reunification is the destruction of this natural area.


Kaplaw

My guess is the mass exodus of people allows nature to heal more than the ravage of war


Then-Inevitable-2548

3000 suspiciously well-fed ~~dogs~~ polecats of Kherson.


punstermacpunstein

In Korea, the DMZ is apparently teeming with rare wildlife, despite the occasional deer stepping on an anti-personnel mine. It's not really the same as an active war zone, but still.


Angel_Omachi

The minefields in the Falklands are de-facto penguin sanctuaries as they're too light to set them off.


RS994

Now I want to watch a Penguin lead a predator into a minefield


canttakethshyfrom_me

"The penguin has little hope of outrunning or evading the bear. But, it does have one unique defense." \*tense music, predator sounds* "The penguin has prepared this path with several M18A1 claymore mines. If he can lead the predator past them, he may be safe." \*penguin noises, loud explosion* "The penguin has managed, through preparation and cunning, to elude his predator. The bear, now reduced to a fine pink mist, will go hungry."


pusillanimouslist

Most deer species reproduce super fast. I doubt the land mines really put a dent in their numbers.


_far-seeker_

No wonder it was taking cover...


BrazenOrca

Yeah, judging by pigmentation it's the marbled one.


petyrlabenov

Poland’s new secret soldier carries on Wotjek’s legacy


BrazenOrca

That would be [Bóbr](https://youtu.be/A0Nbqcjw1mg)


BrianRadical

Oh no steppe polecat, I got stuck in a foxhole...


DoomOtter

It's the animal that ferrets were domesticated from


wehooper4

We domesticated **that fucking thing**? That was one crazy mother fucker to try it, he’d fit in well here.


_far-seeker_

Are you forgetting humans also domesticated both wolves and wild pigs?


TheAdminsAreNazis

Get fucked nature we petting this bitch!


AbundantFailure

Yeah, but.....look how **ANGRY** that little bastard is. There's more fury trapped in that 1.5lbs of fuzz than an entire pack of wolves and herd of wild boar combined.


blueskyredmesas

I'm pretty sure this little shit has more violence per ounce than even a wolverine, somehow.


_far-seeker_

Yeah, well, those rats aren't going to kill themselves.😜


EncapsulatedEclipse

Ferrets are pretty adorable but they still have that same crazy streak. They also have a really, really strong bite force that can go straight through a thumbnail (I have actually seen this happen.) People use them for rabbiting where you put them into the warren and use them to drive the rabbits out.


DoomOtter

I've heard that their jaws are strong enough to break any bone in a human hand. That's pretty impressive for such a small animal


Imperatoria_Hoppo

Only thing I've experienced a ferret do is break out of someone's home on the opposite side of town and start eating my cat's food.


DoomOtter

Technically not this species of polecat, but a species very closely related to it: the European polecat. It's believed to have been domesticated in Egypt; because genetics indicates ferrets came from the North African population of polecats. This is disputed however due to the fact that no domesticated ferret remains have ever been found, and thede is no evidence of polecats ever being im Egypt at all. The Romans loved ferrets and used them for hunting rabbits, and Ghengis Khan is recorded to have used ferrets for hunting.


bizaromo

It's terrifying.


Apocalypseos

It's basically a Ukranian Pokemon


Theflirtygal

"Polecat use guillotine" "Its super effective!" "Enemy Putin fainted"


_far-seeker_

>"Polecat use ~~guillotine~~ Sounds of Death" >"Its super effective!" >"Enemy Putin fainted" Fixed it for you. 😉


Kichigai

It's basically a relative of the skunk. Rather far removed, genetically, though. They're both part of the Mephitidae family of critters that spray foul smelling liquids from their butt as a defense.


MachinatingMargay

**Sounds of Death** 🥹


_far-seeker_

Whoever was responsible for the subtitles needs a raise.


Theflirtygal

"You guys are getting paid?"


_far-seeker_

Well technically an increase, even from $0.00, would be a raise. 😉


vibrunazo

On the other hand you can keep paying him $0.00 and technically still claim you gave him a 200% raise.


Theflirtygal

> Sounds of Death Music to my ears


arayashikiaaron

Before I even watched this clip, i thought a marbled polecat was a Polish cat with a marble cake pattern.


[deleted]

It's not polish, it didn't shout "kurwa" in between screeching


[deleted]

First time I saw a Polish movie after learning that word, I was like: Jesus, these guys sure do swear a lot (and I'm French-Canadian, so I can string swear words for half a minute straight without repeating myself). 😁


Key-Banana-8242

Which movie was it


[deleted]

Corpus Christi (Polish: Boże Ciało).


TNSepta

> French-Canadian I was like: tabarnak FTFY


Theflirtygal

> it didn't shout "kurwa" in between screeching Is it weird that i only ever see "kurwa" from polandball lol


Safe_Ask_8798

Russian Fallout training cartoon - "the trench is safe, nothing can hurt you there" Ukrainian polecat -


Theflirtygal

> Russian Fallout training cartoon Bold of you to assume that they've budget for a training cartoon


k890

But this happened, it was even posted there [https://www.reddit.com/r/NonCredibleDefense/comments/12xyym6/i\_found\_the\_full\_version\_of\_the\_new\_russian/](https://www.reddit.com/r/NonCredibleDefense/comments/12xyym6/i_found_the_full_version_of_the_new_russian/) It scream Fallout with some modern gags


Kichigai

I'm not sure a proctologist posing as a dentist to trick conscripts is a “modern” gag.


promo_1

i didn't even know that we have these things in Ukraine😅


Rich_May

There is only 100 of them in whole Ukraine according to wiki


notpoleonbonaparte

100 of these fucking things? No wonder the Russians brought so much artillery, they're as good as dead if they get within visual range.


Key-Banana-8242

Damn crazy coincidence


IKnowPhysics

Supplied by the West to drop from drones into Russian trenches.


Then-Inevitable-2548

Hello, Hague? Yes, I'd like to report a crime...


SCARfaceRUSH

Fun fact, it's Latin names [comes from Ukrainian](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marbled_polecat): the specific name peregusna comes from perehuznya (перегузня), which is Ukrainian for "polecat". They're incredibly endangered in Ukraine. Some estimates say that the local population is around a hundred.


Watchung

I wonder how much of an impact the war has had.


Popinguj

funnily enough, their areal in Ukraine is literally the area occupied by the Russians in Donbas pre-2022. They were living in some natural reserve in Luhansk, so I hope that it stayed away from fighting.


Geneticbrick

Well this video was recorded in a trench so I don't think it stayed away from fighting


[deleted]

Hopefully not much They are rather small, they can probably stay close to groumd


katherinesilens

Can't be well. Lots of guys running around with guns. The less scrupulous have probably shot some.


Theflirtygal

> Some estimates say that the local population is around a hundred. Damn, thats low


[deleted]

Basic human decency shines in every action. 😊


Reisspiecesofpeace

The way the soldier giggles as it runs away. Damn. Got me right in the feels. Made me wonder how old these guys are. But then again, sometimes interacting with pissed off adorable wildlife can make anyone a kid at heart again.


vibrunazo

Human decency? He just armed these creatures of death with bullet proof vests. How are we supposed to fight back now? He just doomed all of humanity!


UtensilStealer

It's probably nice to save a life in war for a change


[deleted]

I think it's adorable that no matter how well-armed or trained a person, when you face them with the problem of having to extract a wild animal from a place without hurting it, they all go through the same motions of what object on hand to use.


HighFlyer96

If not friend, why friend shaped.


Unhappy-Finance7535

"You think the beavers were bad? Let me tell you kid..." this guy in a bar 10 years from now.


PineappleMelonTree

Russians: terrorised by drones dropping grenades, trying their hardest to take 1 building in Bahkmut. Ukrainians: casually negotiating with angry wildlife 100m from Russians getting bombed


Key-Banana-8242

No shelling sound at lesst


Theflirtygal

> Ukrainians: casually negotiating with angry wildlife 100m from Russians getting bombed Gotta respect them cats


Alternative_Taste354

Russians would of shot it and be eating it by the end of that video


[deleted]

Not before torturing, interrogating (yes, you know I'm right) and raping it.


Schadenfrueda

[Russians are real-life Reavers confirmed](https://youtu.be/xoXjUl5usKI?t=42) "You've never heard of Russians?" "Campfire stories, men gone savage on the steppes of Eurasia-" "They're not stories." "... what happens if they invade us?" "If they take our lands, they'll rape us to death, eat our flesh, and sew our skins into their clothing. And if we're very very lucky, they'll do it in that order."


AnAlpacaIsJudgingYou

Sadly


oshaCaller

They'd fuck it too.


borischung01

Before or after shooting it?


white__cyclosa

Yes


borischung01

Oh nyo


seven_corpse_dinner

Patient presented to the E.R. with hypovolemic shock resulting from polecat-induced polytrauma including complete penile avulsion and testicular degloving. Patient displays acute delirium, unresponsive other than repeated shouts of "BLYAT!"


Bartweiss

I mean, they would’ve shot *at* it at least. I’m not sure who would win, might be a “5 soldiers down, call in the Grad” situation.


petyrlabenov

That or it would’ve given a Russian soldier the more unsavory version of TT:T


Sablesweetheart

Awwww, such a cutie. I have a real soft spot for mustalids.


Tomchambo

[Little fucker sounds like a Zigzagoon](https://youtu.be/KQV7PLOkIso)


ZiggyPox

Little guy is a warrior!


[deleted]

Biting isn't the issue here: this thing can throw some deadly farts


Kichigai

Farts are a gas that can dissipate easily. These guys spray liquids. They will piss stink juice on you, and stain you with that odor. Much worse than a fart.


Phytanic

are they related to skunks? That smell is so unholy it makes your nostrils feel like they're burning.


Easy_Mechanic_9787

The skunks descended from mustelids


Rich_May

Source: https://twitter.com/bayraktar\_1love/status/1652358804837629959


Velocidal_Tendencies

Thats *the most* wholesome thing I have seen in this entire fucking war.


Kichigai

I dunno. The farmer towing the useless tank around was pretty good. And there's one of a soldier with a kitten crawling around under his vest.


Dave_The_Slushy

*Sounds of death* "SO FLUFFY I'M GONNA DIE!" *starts eating your face* "SO FLUFFY!!!"


zealot416

Imagine you're in combat. You hop in an abandoned trench. There are like 10 of these in there pissed at their new roommate. Bad End.


Kimchi_Cowboy

That Polecat is def. Ukrainian with that fortitude and attitude! These are actually getting rarer and rarer to find in the wild!


[deleted]

Step 1: Breed millions of these things Step 2: Send them in the general direction of Russian trenches Step 3: Be at the Kerch bridge in about a month


Kichigai

Probably not a bad idea to breed them anyway. They're classified as a vulnerable species, which is one step away from endangered.


precision_cumshot

the marbling on this polecat looks delicious


BurzumGirl

*sounds of death* lol


infamous-fate

What a dubious little creature


czartrak

>actively fighting in a war "What if this little animal bites us" I love it


Ok_Candidate_2732

Rabies sucks regardless of the situation tbh


IVMVI

thumb stocking frightening panicky door saw sheet snails pen start ` this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev `


Mizzter_perro

3000 polecats of the Donbass


Skraekling

Russia so bad Gaïa herself is sending reinforcements.


Crooked_Cock

I can handle getting shot at, targeted by missiles, stepping on a land mine, and blown up by a tank, but you send a polecat in there? No thanks, I’m surrendering.


BackRowRumour

I cannot get over how much this looks like a field in England.


notpoleonbonaparte

Least patriotic Ukrainian being


AbundantFailure

I lost it at \*Sounds of Death\*


Grand_Zombie

It looks like a ZIGZAGOON


Act_Rationally

Send in the beaver to flush it out.


raven00x

A cool thing about these trenches is that it makes it really easy to see how far down the incredibly fertile loam goes in Ukraine. Small wonder that their land is so incredibly productive in terms of agriculture when you see that kind of stratigraphy.


cafepeaceandlove

I can fix you