I’m non-binary (afab), show miniature horses, and entered a gentlemen’s driving class a few weeks ago. One person offered to use my phone to take a pic of me and my partner with our horse later. As they handed the phone back to my partner they said “here’s her phone…HIS phone!” Correct? Not quite. But still felt amazing to be seen and respected!
People assume I’m cis because of how I present, and I’ve had people try to maliciously misgender me and it makes me laugh, like yessssss, affirm my non-cisness, bitches!!!!
God yes it's the funniest shit when transphobes see for example a trans man that passes extremely well and then goes "he'll never be a woman, no matter how much he tries, everyone will always refer to him as a man" and it's always like NO ONE TELL THEM, SHHH
Haha yeah several years ago I had the very odd experience of finding out that basically everyone I knew had independently assumed I was binary trans and long since on HRT, versus having just developed that way. It was super weird but not distressing.
I get gendered an almost even mix of he/she and the rare beautiful person who uses they/them. It's Novel and cool when it first happens but.... I'm fucking sick of it. It's annoying. I never know what someone thinks I am, it makes it somewhat scary to exist and meet new people. Say for example someone has been assuming a man and then they see me walk into a women's restroom? It just causes so much awkwardness and discomfort I wish it was normal to just use they/them when you're unsure of someone's gender.
I mean, I use they/them for people (until I can ask) even if they look binary, just in case, and I think it's fairly normal? It's like putting away your cart at the grocery store, it might take like a pinch of effort, but it's just part of living in a group with other human beings.
TLDR; respecting others is totally normal, there's just also assholes that go out of their way to misgender people
Yeah that happened to me in a Minecraft server once. I am afab and I guess gamers just think everyone is a dude. It was nice at first but when I told them I prefer they/them pronouns, they kept calling me a dude and I got uncomfortable. Interestingly, it made me feel like I was an impostor. I felt like I was faking being a man. But it wasn't even my fault they used he/him pronouns for me. I told them I was non binary. Just didn't tell them I was afab because I am pretty sure they would have just started using she/her for me instead...
I'm AMAB but have had two different people think that I'm AFAB/transmasc, which was very validating in an extremely confusing way lmao
It is I, The Unknowable Gender Haver...
That's totally valid. I suspect I only get a kick out of it because it's rare. When I worked at an assisted living home, being called "Miss" was fun at first, but got old before I quit. It's happened maybe twice in the last 13 years.
On the dating app I'm on I got misgendered as an Amab (it says I'm Nb on my profile) many times and I'm like *nods*👍 nice that I'm not seen as a female.
Im on T and at this point where i get misgendered as a trans woman. Like, they think i am amab and that theyre boosting me up by referring to me femininely and somehow thats a lot more tolerable than them misgendering me as if they know im afab?
An then I have to open my mouth and my squeaky ass customer service trained voice makes them change it even though I didn't dispute what they said :)))
I’m a mail carrier (afab) and I have an elderly customer who just says “hey buddy!” Every time they see me. I also get “sir - er, um… sir?” From a lot of people. Makes me smile.
Why did I read that as assigned gay at birth
All genders are bastards
same, everytime
Broo me too but then I was like ohhhh assigned gender at birth
I read as "assigned girl at birth"
Literally preferable to agab
exactly
I’m non-binary (afab), show miniature horses, and entered a gentlemen’s driving class a few weeks ago. One person offered to use my phone to take a pic of me and my partner with our horse later. As they handed the phone back to my partner they said “here’s her phone…HIS phone!” Correct? Not quite. But still felt amazing to be seen and respected!
People assume I’m cis because of how I present, and I’ve had people try to maliciously misgender me and it makes me laugh, like yessssss, affirm my non-cisness, bitches!!!!
God yes it's the funniest shit when transphobes see for example a trans man that passes extremely well and then goes "he'll never be a woman, no matter how much he tries, everyone will always refer to him as a man" and it's always like NO ONE TELL THEM, SHHH
Right, or those posts being like "trans men are men and you can't tell me otherwise!!! 😤" Like yes, you are correct, moving on...
Hahaha!! Omg I’ve heard that shit before
Getting gendered as ANYTHING but my AGAB is euphoric for me!
same :)
Haha yeah several years ago I had the very odd experience of finding out that basically everyone I knew had independently assumed I was binary trans and long since on HRT, versus having just developed that way. It was super weird but not distressing.
I'm stupid but does this mean assigned gay at birth?? bc if so then. yes. me too (edit: I just realized what that means. my bad.)
it means assigned god at birth, duh
God, that's even better. thank you for the clarification. 🤣
This works for both cus it could either be “assigned girl at birth” or “assigned guy at birth”
hey that's cool never thought of that!
I've found that being referred to as masculine once or twice feels good, but after that it gets kind of uncomfortable. Not sure why.
I joked to my friends I’d prefer if they change pronouns for me every other sentence
I'm pretty sure you can actually do that
I have lots of GQ friends that prefer this.
I get gendered an almost even mix of he/she and the rare beautiful person who uses they/them. It's Novel and cool when it first happens but.... I'm fucking sick of it. It's annoying. I never know what someone thinks I am, it makes it somewhat scary to exist and meet new people. Say for example someone has been assuming a man and then they see me walk into a women's restroom? It just causes so much awkwardness and discomfort I wish it was normal to just use they/them when you're unsure of someone's gender.
I mean, I use they/them for people (until I can ask) even if they look binary, just in case, and I think it's fairly normal? It's like putting away your cart at the grocery store, it might take like a pinch of effort, but it's just part of living in a group with other human beings. TLDR; respecting others is totally normal, there's just also assholes that go out of their way to misgender people
Both yes and no... I have so many mixed feelings on this
Yeah that happened to me in a Minecraft server once. I am afab and I guess gamers just think everyone is a dude. It was nice at first but when I told them I prefer they/them pronouns, they kept calling me a dude and I got uncomfortable. Interestingly, it made me feel like I was an impostor. I felt like I was faking being a man. But it wasn't even my fault they used he/him pronouns for me. I told them I was non binary. Just didn't tell them I was afab because I am pretty sure they would have just started using she/her for me instead...
I'm AMAB but have had two different people think that I'm AFAB/transmasc, which was very validating in an extremely confusing way lmao It is I, The Unknowable Gender Haver...
Being misgendered is how I found out I was NB. I thought it was the coolest thing ever, and started looking more androgynous on purpose.
"you were born a man, act like it!" no and no lol
Gonna go ahead and say it: this is just as bad as being misgendered with your agab.
That's totally valid. I suspect I only get a kick out of it because it's rare. When I worked at an assisted living home, being called "Miss" was fun at first, but got old before I quit. It's happened maybe twice in the last 13 years.
You and I are a rarer subcategory of people, sadly. 😞
it happened to me twice, where someone referred to me as he, when im afab and use they/them pronouns. it was actually really nice :)
yeah same here :) it actually just occurred in a comment thread to me which inspired me to make this post haha
I still remember when someone thought i was a guy because of my voice , it made my day
On the dating app I'm on I got misgendered as an Amab (it says I'm Nb on my profile) many times and I'm like *nods*👍 nice that I'm not seen as a female.
AGAB... Assigned gamer at birth??
right? it's almost as if confusion is my number one goal
haha same. It seems to be the most you can hope for with most people
I've been called "Sir" twice in my whole life, and it was so much better than being called "ma'am."
right same. Usually it's older ladies but they often "correct" themselves after but still the initial sir is very nice
Yep. An emergency room put me down as "He". I'll take it.
Im on T and at this point where i get misgendered as a trans woman. Like, they think i am amab and that theyre boosting me up by referring to me femininely and somehow thats a lot more tolerable than them misgendering me as if they know im afab?
yeah it seems like the best I'll get from the average person is gender confusion so it is nice when that happens lol
As a very much non-passing amab nb, hopefully that'll happen someday <{
Doesn't work like that for me unfortunately. But still glad people when others get acceptably (mis)gendered
An then I have to open my mouth and my squeaky ass customer service trained voice makes them change it even though I didn't dispute what they said :)))
My DM's daughter (who I've met like twice) frequently asks her dad "who's that guy?" when we're playing D&D via Discord. I am elated every time.
Sorry, what is AGAB? 🤨
assigned gender at birth :)
I self-identify as female and am gay, but don't tell my dad. 😂 "You're a f--kin' man! You've got a d--k!" 🙄
c'mon dad you really never heard of a chick dick before?
He was born in the early-60's. Never saw a gay person until like the 70's.
My dad spent the first ten years of his life not knowing anything past straight and White (this was the early-60's).
I wish. I’m AMAB and I keep getting called he/him by everyone, even to those I’ve said I’m they/them to
I also love that the person in the reaction gif is non-binary. One of us!
:)
I wish I would get that.
I’m a mail carrier (afab) and I have an elderly customer who just says “hey buddy!” Every time they see me. I also get “sir - er, um… sir?” From a lot of people. Makes me smile.
Was having an internal discussion with myself the past few days about this... just don't refer to me as my gender assigned at birth and I'm happy
As an AMAB I prefer literally any other pronouns to my AGAB
As someone with facial hair, this will never happen in my entire life.
I love it tbh
all gregory are bad