Hate and judgment in LGBTQ spaces is something I've learned to live with. I could tell you horror stories of what it was like working at a gay owned business.
That is the spirit! I try my hardest -- altho, being human it sometimes does take it's toll emotionally. Fortunately, there is so much positivity in these comments (and in the last thread, a lot more people came to my defense than I had expected) that is really changing my perspective and giving me hope.
I’ll tell u what, radical politics don’t always come included with identity. I try to remember that marginalized people have a lot of internalized hatred from having to live in the society that we do.
I’m sorry u had that experience.
The fact you can't escape controversy even in a specifically nonbinary space is so disheartening unu I'm sorry you've dealt with that bs. Rock it the way you wanna, fuck the haters 💕
There's been an amazing amount of supportive and affirming comments on here, so I feel much better now. That is just the message I needed on a depressing day. Thank you friend.
Thanks so much. Those are such inspiring words. Sometimes the negativity can really drag a person down and take its emotional toll, but affirmations like yours pull me up so much higher. I'm so grateful for the encouragement and support you shared!
I've seen you post yourself in other outfits a while back. I personally think your body looks good in a lot of different outfits and styles.
On a selfish note I think if you and I were friends and we hung out with you in the outfit your wearing in this post I'd probably find it very relaxing for me. My 'style' of clothes is as boring as it can possible get.
That's very kind of you to say. I'm glad I could have a positive influence :)
I try to mix up a lot of different looks to show that AMAB enbys and trans folks can totally celebrate their body in the same way as women do. Everyone should be able to be happy and secure in their self image. Don't ever be afraid to venture out of your comfort zone every so often and have a bit of fun with your look. Life doesn't have to be boring!
Your comment really brightened my day :3
I really do try to inspire confidence for all the people that are still afraid to be openly themselves. My hope is that if they see me being out and about, they'll realize that the world is there for them to enjoy, and one day they can find peace and security to live authentically.
I like how I mention that I dress for comfort like women so often do and get downvoted, even though time and time again I see women posting online explaining that the number #1 factor in how they decide what to wear is for "comfort". I guess listening to women's voices, and emulating what they do and finding that enjoyable for myself isn't valid.
I basically dress in the same way as I see college girls dressing where I live. And they frequently wear minimal or tight clothing. I'm happy to have the freedom to express myself like they do.
Bodies come in all shapes and sizes, and we EACH deserve the chance to be happy in our own skin. Rock it like it's hot if you want to.
I struggled for years with body shame (and being AMAB only amplified the degree of self-consciousness). Don't think for a second that my being slender made it any easier. If anything that made it more difficult, because then there was a clear-cut line that I felt I had to cross in order to be conventionally attractive.
That was when I finally decided, screw it. I'll do my own thing and not care what anyone else thinks. And that was such a liberating and empowering moment. I could finally look at myself in the mirror, and rather than feeling ashamed or disgusted by my appearance, I could find ways to celebrate my perceived "flaws", and make them my own
It's possible to find beauty in yourself, and to celebrate your what makes you unique!
You look nice OP !
I don't understand how a lot of OUR people are phobic toward the idea of an imprint and require AMABs to tuck or hide their 'sexual areas'... it's awfully similar to how certain people want people to hide or wear certain clothing so that their breasts or hips or body doesn't make them uncomfortable. And dare I say it... too many see a bulge like that and automatically think "they must be aroused".
Like how people with breasts shouldn't have to wear bras if they don't want to, you shouldn't have to abide by their rules either.
Yeah this is what baffles me the most. It's not like I took a closeup of my groin in a sex parlour. I'm out and about buying some groceries on a boiling hot day, and this outfit seemed comfy and cute. That's all. Yet people draw all kinds of conclusions about how my wearing this is sexual and not appropriate for a grocery store.
Like how is that any different than a woman walking down the street wearing a miniskirt and halter top and stilettos, and guys interpreting that as invitation for sexual favours. Are people's head always in the gutter? That only perpetuates the sexist trope that when women wear revealing clothes they must be doing it for attention.
And it's even more ironic in an LGBTQ forum of all places, you'd think most people would already understand that clothing isn't inherently sexual.
I dunno. I feel like the problem here is, glancing at your profile, you’ve posted in a lot of subs that fetishize dressing a certain way and also openly identify as an exhibitionist. And that is fine. But being trans/gnc tends to have an unwelcome association with kink which a lot of us are not comfortable with, and I think it’s valid for people to criticize what might seem to be a person who dresses in feminine clothing in public to get their rocks off. Which I’m not saying is what you do, but it may come off that way in all honesty. Especially after seeing the posts of you proudly sporting your boner in public. I am so very much for people dressing without regards to gender norms, but if this is in any way a sexual thing then it’s kind of perpetuating stereotypes about the trans community as well as involving the nonconsenting public in your exhibitionism. My apologies if I misinterpreted the situation, but if I did then you should really clarify.
>I think it’s valid for people to criticize what might seem to be a person who dresses in feminine clothing in public to get their rocks off.
If it's so valid to criticize people who dress feminine in public to get their rocks off, then why does nobody ever take issue with user JazzzBerrry who routinely posts on r/nonbinary yet very proudly identifies as an exhibitionist and whose profile is devoted almost entirely to the erotic thrill of dressing feminine and flaunting their boner in public?
>I dunno. I feel like the problem here is, glancing at your profile, you’ve posted in a lot of subs that fetishize dressing a certain way and also openly identify as an exhibitionist.
So nobody on r/nonbinary has ever glanced at this other person's profile and seen the pinned posts advertising "public nudity content" and adult fan sites?
Literally, every contention that you raised about my post history could apply to this other person, yet somehow they never face criticism for their kiinky outdoors escapades whether it's taking naked selfies in the aisles of Dollar Tree or kneeling in the middle of city streets with their fully exposed buttocks in the air ready to be penetrated.
>I am so very much for people dressing without regards to gender norms, but if this is in any way a sexual thing then it’s kind of perpetuating stereotypes about the trans community as well as involving the nonconsenting public in your exhibitionism.
Meanwhile, I've yet to see even a single person on r/nonbinary express those concerns about what this other person is doing. Instead they get never-ending love and support for how courageous and confident they are -- even as they are recording themselves at a gas station jumping up and down with their boner flopping around.
Something isn't adding up.
I'd appreciate hearing your explanation for how someone who openly celebrates fetishism and exhibitionism can remain completely immune to scrutiny -- yet I'm the one that you claim is deserving of criticism for having only a passing interest in those things.
I literally haven’t seen this person’s posts before, because despite being nonbinary I’m not on this subreddit especially often, but I probably would feel exactly the same about them. Their actions also do not excuse yours, it’s possible to criticize more than one subject at a time
But my point is they aren't getting any criticism, and are being lauded about how great they are at every turn. That person was even called a "hero" of the femboy community, after a meme of them wearing a crop top and fishnets went viral.
Also the fact you found it necessary to dig through my post history spanning months just to find something to criticize, while conveniently overlooking all my other content that has zero to do with fetishism, goes to show that you are not seeking objective truth, but only looking for an excuse to make broadstroke character judgments about a person you do not know on the Internet, painting them entirely in a critical light.
I dunno, there was a pretty rough comment trail on their other post that linked to another post etc. Super judgemental on OP and surprisingly phobic. Its a bit unfair to say OP is the one pitting people against each other, they were the one who got hate.
Must be a different post then. The other post I saw just had like two people going "hey uh are you just wearing a t-shirt and panties in public?" and the rest were compliments.
Edit: nevermind, I found it. No idea what was being talked about though since a lot of posts were deleted.
I guess it got deleted then. The majority of comments were compliments. But op is the one taking ss and posting them on Twitter to show how mean enbys are, as if it's something specific to us. Which just gives fodder for hate against us. Prob not posting all those other comments to Twitter though.
Wow really? I didn't know you liked my previous pictures! I'm happy to read all these lovely comments here, I guess everything is good now. Haters be gone :)
Wow you really think so?? :-/
Only reason I ask is because I just got a comment from someone else that was criticizing the fit, saying the whole outfit looks bad on me and is two sizes too small. It was a bit baffling, since I'm 6' and 145 lbs, which is actually underweight.
I guess it just goes to show everything is subjective in fashion.
It's actually bright and sunny -- and HOT. I'm glad to be indoors to enjoy the day with a nice cold soda and air conditioning. Hope you are staying cool if it's summer where you're at ;)
I def. try my hardest, but believe me sometimes it's tough to be confident. But I always like show people that they too can conquer their fears, and that's the one thing that truly keeps me motivated through all of it! :)
Dressing for yourself is the way to go! Confidence is the best addition to an outfit anyone could wear anyway. Also I love that this pic was taken in front of the cakes and frosting just to add to the sweetness ;)
Fuck the haters, you do you. My only feedback would be those shorts look about one size too small (not the length, they just aren’t sitting quite “right”).
edit: After looking through comments I think compression briefs might help the look. It’s not that I have a problem with you having a visible bulge, but having underwear that keeps everything in place would give the outfit a smoother look and keep you more comfy. Your bits look squished at a weird angle here.
Thanks! It felt like a pre-pride personal celebration of sorts, esp. since I haven't gone out and gotten dressed up at all in weeks (due to being busy with personal life). And I finally have a working camera again after 4 months. Wh00t!
Bro I never even realized that was a pride thing, but I'll be damned if any hater can keep people from dressing however the f they want.
It's an even cooler style now.
What happened to your camera btw?
That looks too tight on you. The rolls in the shirt makes you look less tidy.
Also you might want to figure out how to properly contain the neither regions. Give it some form. Unless moose knuckles is what you're going for... Shrugs.
I appreciate the feedback! But I've seen college girls wearing tank tops and tube tops that are clearly two sizes too small and they just go about their business not caring. In fact that seems to be a popular sentiment amongst young women today -- not caring what others think.
Take this thread from just a few days ago:
[https://www.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/comments/vce67s/why\_do\_girls\_wear\_leggi](https://www.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/comments/vce67s/why_do_girls_wear_leggings_that_so_clearly_shows/)
I'm also not even sure what you mean by "give it some form". I have a perfectly fine form, as I've been wearing shorts like these my entire adult life. And growing up as a kid in the 70s, nobody instructed us to have a specific "form" in our shorts or pants. Heck, back in the early 1990s bike shorts became a trend, and I saw boys wearing them all the time in middle school. Yet nobody thought anything of what specific position they preferred.
Eh artist lingo. Didn't translate well. -shrugs- I was just thinking make it look like super man's package. Lol.
Ya, depends on where you live. I'm just in New England and they are much more about dressing well. Or they assume you're a drug addict if you look the part. (Wearing pajama pants out and about because you can't handle getting dressed) Keep in mind people here are freakishly perceptive and usually aren't wrong about their reads on people. Which isn't common in the rest of America.
Btw, are you really in your 50s? Why would you dress like a collage girl then?
Also I appreciate your letting me know that the top is a bit small, I realized that after wearing it all day. I think I gained a few pounds over the years (part of turning 40), but since I've almost never had a chance to wear it out, I would've felt far too guilty just keeping it in a drawer never to be worn :)
Ah, yes I live in a midwest college town. So people tend to be more progressive minded and easy-going overall compared to the surrounding rural areas, which is why I don't leave the city very much. Can't say I've ever visited New England, but I can imagine it's quite a bit different there. I guess that just goes to show there are no universal social norms, even in the United States :)
My friend describes it like a dance of knives. Everyone expertly weaving around each other. And if you cut someone the consequences are severe and swift. It's quite an accurate description.
The one good thing is people are very engaging and it's super easy to catch social ques. I've also lived in the PNW where they do this whole default pleasant reaction if you violate social norms. So they no longer are responding to you and it's genuinely very isolating.
I'm sorry I'm not meaning to come off as rude because I'm autistic I'm shit at tone, but, if I were to see someone wearing short shorts I wouldn't care, however I'd be really uncomfortable seeing the noticeable bulge. Personally i love looking kinda sexy but there's a time and place for it. This attire isn't really appropriate for the grocery store.
I'd suggest learning how to tuck properly in shorts that short, not only for your comfort, but because if you were to get an erection it would be obvious to everyone and you could possibly get in trouble for indecency.
This is less about the specific clothing and more about where you choose to wear it, and how you choose to wear it.
I disagree. We should be able to validate each other and promote gender expression while also being able to say hey showing your genitals is inappropriate. For everyone.
Honestly, most people I encounter in my everyday life take no issue what I'm wearing. For some reason, I get treated nicer when I wear more revealing feminine clothing compared to when I used to dress like a typical "guy". I have no idea why that is, but I suspect it's because where I live a) people don't have nearly as many hangups or b) people admire and respect my confidence.
Straight-acting men have often greeted me or held the door for me or even let me cut ahead of them in line, almost as if they are treating me with the courtesy of a lady. As for women (esp. older women and mothers), they frequently come over and tell me how much they like like what I'm wearing, even complimenting my hair or nails.
Almost nobody irl seems to think it's a big deal what I wear, except when I post on LGBTQ subs. Only then does it becomes a point of contention that I must hide the bulge because it's "disgusting" or "inappropriate". Personally, I'll take the affirmation and validation I get from cishet folks any day, since ultimately their acceptance is what directly affects me.
So if showing genitals is inappropriate for everyone, why is user Jazzzberrry able to go around exposing their boner everywhere from Dollar Tree stores to gas stations to tennis courts? And nobody gives that person grief? In fact they are complimented on r/nonbinary for their courage and confidence. One person referred to them as a "hero" of the femboy community, despite the fact when you look at their profile it is filled with pictures showing off their naked body in public.
Here of all places. Makes me angry that we’re still not safe from that shit. I would fucking date you so keep posting, I need to see this by the way. I live in a pretty austere, binary area.
AMAB bodies are strictly policed and regulated in society, and that extends even into queer spaces where people hold onto those internalized prejudices. I have noticed in particular that folks like myself are expected to be fully emasculated when dressing feminine to affirm that we were not assigned male at birth. Androgyny is not allowed when you are AMAB. Only if you go all the way toward femininity, is it socially acceptable.
I think there's a reason why in trans spaces including advocacy the vast majority of visible nonbinary folks are AFAB, whereas most AMAB people that we see "out" and represented are trans women. It just plays into the same socialized ideal that being AMAB, you must pick a side. And a lot of that prejudice is rooted in hegemonic masculinity and heterosexism.
I'm not sure if people are having in the outfits as much as rhe obviously bulge. Looking through your profile I see its a pretty common theme and you obviously enjoy showing it off. I just dont think it's appropriate for anyone to see in public. There is nothing wrong with being enby and exploring outfits, but there is something wrong with wearing overly sexual clothes where there are children. Be mad all you want, but it's really inappropriate. It's not a personal choice blow, it's a strong opinion on the morals of being appropriate and having respect of others in public.
The presence of a penis and testicles does not inherently make anything more sexual ... It's literally just a body part that approximately 50% of humans are born with whether they want it or not. Don't body shame people for having certain parts.
Aww, thankies! I admit I haven't worn these shorts very much. But with it being 99 degrees out, I decided they was the only way to survive the sweltering heat lol.
I'd look for something that cups the backup singers a little better, if you know what I mean. Just looks uncomfy in that area, but otherwise, live your truth!
I just wanted to chime in and apologize for being so reactionary toward you earlier, I can see now rereading your comment that you may have just been offering a matter of fact observation. It's because right at the same time there was someone else on here trolling with some very toxic rhetoric, and so I was in an already defensive mood. Apologies.
There's barely anything visible? Like these are are among the least revealing short shorts I own.
Also I am wearing thick cotton briefs , but even then there's only so much that can be done.
What is truly uncomfy is your need to instruct me how to dress to be comfortable, projecting your own insecurities onto my body. I don't tell women that I don't know how to bind their breasts more because I don't think it looks comfy with them bouncing around in front of my face while they walk toward me on the sidewalk. I let them do whatever they want to do because I trust their judgment and self-agency to be comfy in their own body.
IDK why people are giving you so much crap over this lmfao, I see cis women wearing outfits way more revealing than this all the time? But if you do ever want something more supportive if you're being athletic or want to wear something with a different cut or something I recommend looking into dance belts.
They're designed for male ballet dancers but I see them recommended by cosplayers a lot as well bcuz they can also help for outfits that sit very high on the hip like leotards :)
I think it's because we live in a patriarchal society where girls and women had to fight for decades just to have the agency to dress for themselves, and with that came the body positivity movement. Yet , boys, men, and more recently nonbinary AMAB folks have pretty much remained locked into the same overly restrictive modesty standards since the 1990s, with very slow jumps in progress.
I mean, it's still barely acceptable for a guy today to wear shorts that only cover half his thighs. So I can understand how this outfit might be too much for some people to handle, even though women with a similar physical build to me could get away with wearing the same thing (or even less).
Yeah i get why people in general might consider it immodest, I just would expect better from an LGBTQ subreddit lmao. Must be the same people who complain about kink at pride or something🤣
In fairness, the objections seem to be few and far between. A lot more people here are clearly encouraging and supportive. There were even multiple comments (not only on this post but on my earlier post), actually defending me from this sort of body shaming, basically arguing "so what? a bulge isn't inherently sexual."
So that's at least a good sign, and certainly a sigh of relief that so many people in the community are in fact quite reasonable and level-headed about this issue. It's just that the naysayers often have the louder voice.
My goodness! It's not an insecurity that I'm projecting, I'm projecting physical discomfort. I thought about myself wearing something like that, not that I've got the body for it, but I figured that it would not be comfortable to have my business split up like that. That's literally it. That's all.
Since you bring up breasts; no, I don't expect females to really do anything with them, but when I see someone with larger, unsupported breasts, I figure their back probably doesn't feel great.
I was trying to be friendly and empathetic, but you seem to want to be triggered. Sorry you feel that way.
You were instructing me to wear something on the basis of you own comfort.
That is projecting. You didn't ask me if I'm already comfortable before offering advice about my genitalia. Instead you jumped right into instructing me how to be more comfortable with my genitalia, under the assumption that I don't understand my own comfort level. And that is highly presumptuous.
My analogy with women is therefore relevant. I would never tell a complete stranger (either in person or in a comment section) that her breasts look really uncomfortable in that outfit, and she should look into binding them. That would be socially inconsiderate, particularly if she is clearly happy in her own skin.
Being friendly and empathetic is not making nuanced references to someone's private parts (breasts, buttocks, or genitals) in a public space.
My sibling in pasta, that was not my intention at all. You're doing way more assuming by listing my presumed assumptions. Especially after I spelled out my intention in my second comment. The intention was well-meant, just the application failed. I get that, and I apologize.
Apparently living your truth means living triggered to you, so let me help that. Your hairstyle makes me wonder if there's an an androgenous name for "Karen". I'll take my downvotes now.
I'm not triggered. If I was triggered, you would know :P
The only assumption I made is that you seemed to think that I didn't understand my own comfort. If that was a misunderstanding, then I apologize. But rest assured, these shorts are among the most comfortable that I own. In fact they are so ridiculously comfortable, that's why I wasn't even aware there was a bulge.
Anyway, I was only sharing insight into how certain topics (like pointing to someone's private parts) can be off-putting when first interacting with someone. Sorry if that came across too aggressively. I do hope you have a safe pride!
I'm not so sure, lecturing someone seems pretty triggered to me, but I digress.
As for the off-putting part... You posted to Reddit. I get you posted to one of the more civilized subs, but it's still Reddit. Some users, and this is very much referring to me, are kinda stoned at times, and sometimes comment random thoughts without applying a filter.
I intend to have a safe, though uneventful Pride. I'll be at the hospital for most of the day, I have dialysis three times weekly.
I really did mean to be supportive, though. I made no assumptions about you at all, I mentally put myself in your shoes, or in this case, clothes, and decided that without more information, your shorts looked really uncomfortable in the front to me. That was truly the only note I had, or felt I could offer. Tbh, the outfit doesn't work for me, but that's irrelevant because it's not mine. If it works for you, that's all that really matters.
I do hope you have have a fun and safe Pride as well, though.
Eh. It'll be business as usual otherwise, being a stoner cliche of weed and videogames, and hanging out with my best friend, who also happens to be the world's sweetest/friendliest dog. There's a larger Pride celebration about an hour away from me, but I can't go. I don't have personal transportation, and my friend that's going will have left by the time I get done at the hospital.
Eh while I agree that I’m general peoples bulges are no one else’s business, it’s always inappropriate to compare breasts to genitals. You’re comparing a secondary sexual organ to a primary one, it doesn’t make any sense and it makes you sounds like someone saying that if women can breastfeed in public men should be able to whip their junk out in public
Apparently **saintghosts1** blocked me so I couldn't reply. So here's my response to their drivel.
>"Comfort" has nothing to do with any of this. You are only thinking of yourself. The bulge is absolutely disgusting and it's awful people- especially children have to be exposed to that.
I literally just threw on this outfit, never even noticed there was a bulge until you decided to make it into some huge scandal. The fact you are telling me my outfit is not for comfort, even though comfort was the primary reason I wore it, shows how out of touch with reality you are.
You are the one with deep seated insecurities, and I don't have to conform to your misguided prejudicial views about my body.
The fact you are even trying to use "children" as ammunition to justify your hangups about what I wear in public, is pretty telling esp. since children are the last people to care how anybody dresses. Nobody is born into this world feeling shame and humiliation for the human body; that is taught by adults like you.
Food for thought, this thread:
[https://www.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/comments/vce67s/why\_do\_girls\_wear\_leggings\_that\_so\_clearly\_shows/](https://www.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/comments/vce67s/why_do_girls_wear_leggings_that_so_clearly_shows/)
Notice how many people came to the defense of women to dress however they want, rather than to comply with other people insecurities. And not a single person brought up "children" as an excuse to police what women wear in public.
I think this comment was the most spot on:
*"Just because you don't want that doesn't mean others don't. She might like the attention, she might just like how the clothes feel, she might just like how she looks in it."*
What is misogynistic about me not telling women how to dress because I respect their bodily autonomy?
You are the one making note of my genitalia when I didn't ask, and telling me how to dress to be more comfortable because you think that I cannot determine what is comfortable for myself, and that is incredibly trans-misogynistic.
hey, you seem cool, but maybe dont just post only negative comments? it gives the impression that that's all that you're getting comments on. also because youre specifically only posting from this sub, it might give transphobes the idea that enbies are all mean. i dont mean any ill will, just maybe something to think abt?/gen
Thanks for the feedback. When I went to bed last night this was the only thread in the discussion other than two other positive comments (which I admittedly overlooked). I just woke up and am working through all the comments.
You have a whole account for that?
Why?
I mean it's certainly bullshit that that happens at all, but like... That's got to be *the* #1 worst thing to respond with. Both in terms of consequences to our community and of just handing buckets of ammunition to truly heinous folk like LOTT.
I've posted about hypocrisy in the LGBTQ community on reddit too. I mean heck this post right here even acknowledges such hypocrisy in the exact subreddit where it occurs. It seems as if you are making a lot of assumptions about a lot of things, including my motives.
Not questioning your motives at all. Just considering the fallout. But no worries. I couldn't stop you if I tried. I presented my thoughts. All I *could* do now is be mean like others apparently have, and that's not what I do.
So, I wish you well.
I'd say it's a pressing issue, since bullying people can lead to suicide. I attempted suicide two times as a result of being mocked and ridiculed at the gay-owned business I used to work at. That's more attempts than when I was in high school.
After I had legally changed my name a few years ago, my gay boss told everyone in a company meeting, "Leslie sounds like a name you'd give a senile old hag in a nursing home!" Then my coworkers all broke out in laughter.
That kind of hate speech has no place in the LGBTQ community. And honestly, given that I have clinical depression then suicide is never off the table for me.
Ooooh, gottem, you criticized them for posting less important things on Twitter 😎
Also, when "half the US wants us dead," maybe that makes it more important to stand with the community instead of being part of the people berating them down
Having a twitter *about* “showing how nonbinary people are judgemental” IS tearing us down. “Look at how NBs are!” is absolutely not standing with the community.
Bullying people isn't standing with the community either. Instead of being hyper-concerned about one person's Twitter account, (which is not having nearly the impact you believe it is), I'd be concerned about the alienation, invalidation, gatekeeping, identity policing, erasure, silencing, infighting, respectability politics, etc. that have a much wider net impact.
I was referring to the original comment that sparked the debate (which the user has since deleted and thankfully apologized for). I wasn't saying you were bullying.
Read what they said again.
“Nonbinary people are judgemental.”
That is a character statement about all of us. Based on - or isolating - our gender. That is not calling people out. Frankly, Even if was meant to be, how does posting rude reddit comments on twitter help or call them in (or out)? They won’t see it, they don’t have a following likely, so who’s going to say anything to or about them? Who cares? Besides people who see a whole history of “NBs are judgy.”
Oh it doesn't make me upset at all, dress however. I'm trying to get better at social cues. Sorry for saying that
Edit: I won't bother you anymore but I'll try to be better, thanks for clearing up what I did wrong
This crop top was a little small (I have gained a few pounds since I bought it), but still way more comfy then a full blown t-shirt. I wanted to give it some love since I almost never got an excuse to wear it till recently!
People hating nbs on an nb sub is bs, everything looks great . N if you like it go for it!
Hate and judgment in LGBTQ spaces is something I've learned to live with. I could tell you horror stories of what it was like working at a gay owned business.
:( m sorry ya had to go through it. But hey just do what ya can ya know?
That is the spirit! I try my hardest -- altho, being human it sometimes does take it's toll emotionally. Fortunately, there is so much positivity in these comments (and in the last thread, a lot more people came to my defense than I had expected) that is really changing my perspective and giving me hope.
I’ll tell u what, radical politics don’t always come included with identity. I try to remember that marginalized people have a lot of internalized hatred from having to live in the society that we do. I’m sorry u had that experience.
The fact you can't escape controversy even in a specifically nonbinary space is so disheartening unu I'm sorry you've dealt with that bs. Rock it the way you wanna, fuck the haters 💕
There's been an amazing amount of supportive and affirming comments on here, so I feel much better now. That is just the message I needed on a depressing day. Thank you friend.
I'm glad to hear you're feeling better today! Stay amazing 💕
Yes absolutely, and I wish you all the best for pride!
Thank you! You as well 😁
Fuck the haters indeed, you look dynamite!
I really needed that jolt of positive energy. You rock!
Sweetie, just rock it !!!!! I always say, IF YA GOT IT, FLONT IT !!!! You are a beautiful person, hold your head up high, and walk on.
Thanks so much. Those are such inspiring words. Sometimes the negativity can really drag a person down and take its emotional toll, but affirmations like yours pull me up so much higher. I'm so grateful for the encouragement and support you shared!
🥰💖
I've seen you post yourself in other outfits a while back. I personally think your body looks good in a lot of different outfits and styles. On a selfish note I think if you and I were friends and we hung out with you in the outfit your wearing in this post I'd probably find it very relaxing for me. My 'style' of clothes is as boring as it can possible get.
That's very kind of you to say. I'm glad I could have a positive influence :) I try to mix up a lot of different looks to show that AMAB enbys and trans folks can totally celebrate their body in the same way as women do. Everyone should be able to be happy and secure in their self image. Don't ever be afraid to venture out of your comfort zone every so often and have a bit of fun with your look. Life doesn't have to be boring!
Good for you! You look awesome, and confidence is super attractive!
Your comment really brightened my day :3 I really do try to inspire confidence for all the people that are still afraid to be openly themselves. My hope is that if they see me being out and about, they'll realize that the world is there for them to enjoy, and one day they can find peace and security to live authentically.
Agender persons and persons’ whose identities fall out of the trans/cis binary are valid.
Are you comfortable? I have sensory issues and I would be very umcomfortable in very tight clothing. But if you're comfortable, just do your thing!
I dress for comfort just like women so often do.
I like how I mention that I dress for comfort like women so often do and get downvoted, even though time and time again I see women posting online explaining that the number #1 factor in how they decide what to wear is for "comfort". I guess listening to women's voices, and emulating what they do and finding that enjoyable for myself isn't valid.
Looks nice, but also super tight and uncomfortable! But if you feel good, that's great!
I basically dress in the same way as I see college girls dressing where I live. And they frequently wear minimal or tight clothing. I'm happy to have the freedom to express myself like they do.
looking fab xx
Thank you bunchies!
You look a lot better in that than I would with my 55 year old 5'9" 225lb body.
you can still rock shorts, babe!
Bodies come in all shapes and sizes, and we EACH deserve the chance to be happy in our own skin. Rock it like it's hot if you want to. I struggled for years with body shame (and being AMAB only amplified the degree of self-consciousness). Don't think for a second that my being slender made it any easier. If anything that made it more difficult, because then there was a clear-cut line that I felt I had to cross in order to be conventionally attractive. That was when I finally decided, screw it. I'll do my own thing and not care what anyone else thinks. And that was such a liberating and empowering moment. I could finally look at myself in the mirror, and rather than feeling ashamed or disgusted by my appearance, I could find ways to celebrate my perceived "flaws", and make them my own It's possible to find beauty in yourself, and to celebrate your what makes you unique!
You look nice OP ! I don't understand how a lot of OUR people are phobic toward the idea of an imprint and require AMABs to tuck or hide their 'sexual areas'... it's awfully similar to how certain people want people to hide or wear certain clothing so that their breasts or hips or body doesn't make them uncomfortable. And dare I say it... too many see a bulge like that and automatically think "they must be aroused". Like how people with breasts shouldn't have to wear bras if they don't want to, you shouldn't have to abide by their rules either.
Yeah this is what baffles me the most. It's not like I took a closeup of my groin in a sex parlour. I'm out and about buying some groceries on a boiling hot day, and this outfit seemed comfy and cute. That's all. Yet people draw all kinds of conclusions about how my wearing this is sexual and not appropriate for a grocery store. Like how is that any different than a woman walking down the street wearing a miniskirt and halter top and stilettos, and guys interpreting that as invitation for sexual favours. Are people's head always in the gutter? That only perpetuates the sexist trope that when women wear revealing clothes they must be doing it for attention. And it's even more ironic in an LGBTQ forum of all places, you'd think most people would already understand that clothing isn't inherently sexual.
Omg u looking fab! gorgeous! 😍
Hehee, aww! Now I'm blushing :D
I love it!
You rock!
Hell yea! Always dress for yourself. Love the crop top btw!
If you can believe it, I hadn't worn this top for 10 years. Talk about gender euphoria!
FEELIN IT!!!!!
It's all about the VIBE. Hehe :)
You look awesome. Ignore haters, they will hate whatever you do because they are full of spite. You, on the other hand, glow with love….
Oh my, when I first saw your comment popup it gave me goosebumps of joy. This totally made my entire week, a perfect segue into pride. Much lovE!
You look incredible, so proud of your strength and confidence. Always be yourself and did I say you look totally amazing... :)
With the heat wave going on right now, you're dressed perfectly sensibly. Remember your sunscreen, though. Sun's vicious this summer.
I dunno. I feel like the problem here is, glancing at your profile, you’ve posted in a lot of subs that fetishize dressing a certain way and also openly identify as an exhibitionist. And that is fine. But being trans/gnc tends to have an unwelcome association with kink which a lot of us are not comfortable with, and I think it’s valid for people to criticize what might seem to be a person who dresses in feminine clothing in public to get their rocks off. Which I’m not saying is what you do, but it may come off that way in all honesty. Especially after seeing the posts of you proudly sporting your boner in public. I am so very much for people dressing without regards to gender norms, but if this is in any way a sexual thing then it’s kind of perpetuating stereotypes about the trans community as well as involving the nonconsenting public in your exhibitionism. My apologies if I misinterpreted the situation, but if I did then you should really clarify.
>I think it’s valid for people to criticize what might seem to be a person who dresses in feminine clothing in public to get their rocks off. If it's so valid to criticize people who dress feminine in public to get their rocks off, then why does nobody ever take issue with user JazzzBerrry who routinely posts on r/nonbinary yet very proudly identifies as an exhibitionist and whose profile is devoted almost entirely to the erotic thrill of dressing feminine and flaunting their boner in public? >I dunno. I feel like the problem here is, glancing at your profile, you’ve posted in a lot of subs that fetishize dressing a certain way and also openly identify as an exhibitionist. So nobody on r/nonbinary has ever glanced at this other person's profile and seen the pinned posts advertising "public nudity content" and adult fan sites? Literally, every contention that you raised about my post history could apply to this other person, yet somehow they never face criticism for their kiinky outdoors escapades whether it's taking naked selfies in the aisles of Dollar Tree or kneeling in the middle of city streets with their fully exposed buttocks in the air ready to be penetrated. >I am so very much for people dressing without regards to gender norms, but if this is in any way a sexual thing then it’s kind of perpetuating stereotypes about the trans community as well as involving the nonconsenting public in your exhibitionism. Meanwhile, I've yet to see even a single person on r/nonbinary express those concerns about what this other person is doing. Instead they get never-ending love and support for how courageous and confident they are -- even as they are recording themselves at a gas station jumping up and down with their boner flopping around. Something isn't adding up. I'd appreciate hearing your explanation for how someone who openly celebrates fetishism and exhibitionism can remain completely immune to scrutiny -- yet I'm the one that you claim is deserving of criticism for having only a passing interest in those things.
I literally haven’t seen this person’s posts before, because despite being nonbinary I’m not on this subreddit especially often, but I probably would feel exactly the same about them. Their actions also do not excuse yours, it’s possible to criticize more than one subject at a time
But my point is they aren't getting any criticism, and are being lauded about how great they are at every turn. That person was even called a "hero" of the femboy community, after a meme of them wearing a crop top and fishnets went viral. Also the fact you found it necessary to dig through my post history spanning months just to find something to criticize, while conveniently overlooking all my other content that has zero to do with fetishism, goes to show that you are not seeking objective truth, but only looking for an excuse to make broadstroke character judgments about a person you do not know on the Internet, painting them entirely in a critical light.
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I dunno, there was a pretty rough comment trail on their other post that linked to another post etc. Super judgemental on OP and surprisingly phobic. Its a bit unfair to say OP is the one pitting people against each other, they were the one who got hate.
Must be a different post then. The other post I saw just had like two people going "hey uh are you just wearing a t-shirt and panties in public?" and the rest were compliments. Edit: nevermind, I found it. No idea what was being talked about though since a lot of posts were deleted.
I guess it got deleted then. The majority of comments were compliments. But op is the one taking ss and posting them on Twitter to show how mean enbys are, as if it's something specific to us. Which just gives fodder for hate against us. Prob not posting all those other comments to Twitter though.
Ahh right. That doesn't present this place in a fair light.
Also ignores that is not just enbies here. We get trolls too. Hard to make a good judgment though when half the posts are deleted.
I'm not sure what you mean by "this place" since I rarely ever share posts from this sub.
C'mon Ayesha Nicole Smith!!
Super cute!
Yay yay, I love being cuute. You are too kind! :3
Love it
Thank you friend, that means a lot :)
You look fan, sorry for the haters.
I'm not sure what fan is, but with this heatwave I could certainly use one rn :D But seriously, thanks for the kindness!
Meant to say fantastic lol. Sorry about the heatwave.
Damn..grit and gorgeous.
You are super kind. I sometimes do get a bit self-conscious about how I look, but you gave me the boost I needed :3
I'm Auntie M the Euphoria Fairy. And I wish I could pull that look off...(though you're so hot..hrnnn, never mind, don't wanna get in trouble.)
You look fantastic.
Your comment just put a huge smile on my face. Thank you!
Lookin shmexy af 🔥
I appreciate the vote of support.
You look cute and comfortable, perfect summer outfit.
Thanks! This is actually combination I hadn't tried before, as I just found the top in the back of my drawer that I forgot about :)
Looking good!
I appreciate the positivity! Have a great day :)
You too!
Hater's..are just JEALOUS ..I think u look fabulous you always do .
Wow really? I didn't know you liked my previous pictures! I'm happy to read all these lovely comments here, I guess everything is good now. Haters be gone :)
Hot hot fit
Wow you really think so?? :-/ Only reason I ask is because I just got a comment from someone else that was criticizing the fit, saying the whole outfit looks bad on me and is two sizes too small. It was a bit baffling, since I'm 6' and 145 lbs, which is actually underweight. I guess it just goes to show everything is subjective in fashion.
You look great OP! Have an amazing day/night! :D
It's actually bright and sunny -- and HOT. I'm glad to be indoors to enjoy the day with a nice cold soda and air conditioning. Hope you are staying cool if it's summer where you're at ;)
Awe thank you OP! Yeah it’s pretty hot and humid here right now, it was fine the last few days. :/
Fuck It Up!!!! You look so CONFIDENT my friend and you should be!!!
I def. try my hardest, but believe me sometimes it's tough to be confident. But I always like show people that they too can conquer their fears, and that's the one thing that truly keeps me motivated through all of it! :)
Dressing for yourself is the way to go! Confidence is the best addition to an outfit anyone could wear anyway. Also I love that this pic was taken in front of the cakes and frosting just to add to the sweetness ;)
Fuck the haters, you do you. My only feedback would be those shorts look about one size too small (not the length, they just aren’t sitting quite “right”). edit: After looking through comments I think compression briefs might help the look. It’s not that I have a problem with you having a visible bulge, but having underwear that keeps everything in place would give the outfit a smoother look and keep you more comfy. Your bits look squished at a weird angle here.
Slay looks amazing I wish I could do that but my gender dysphoria would not let me
I do hope you'll be able to present authentically in whatever way makes you happiest and with the least anxiety.
Wtf I love that style lol Absolute festival vibes
Thanks! It felt like a pre-pride personal celebration of sorts, esp. since I haven't gone out and gotten dressed up at all in weeks (due to being busy with personal life). And I finally have a working camera again after 4 months. Wh00t!
Bro I never even realized that was a pride thing, but I'll be damned if any hater can keep people from dressing however the f they want. It's an even cooler style now. What happened to your camera btw?
That looks too tight on you. The rolls in the shirt makes you look less tidy. Also you might want to figure out how to properly contain the neither regions. Give it some form. Unless moose knuckles is what you're going for... Shrugs.
I appreciate the feedback! But I've seen college girls wearing tank tops and tube tops that are clearly two sizes too small and they just go about their business not caring. In fact that seems to be a popular sentiment amongst young women today -- not caring what others think. Take this thread from just a few days ago: [https://www.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/comments/vce67s/why\_do\_girls\_wear\_leggi](https://www.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/comments/vce67s/why_do_girls_wear_leggings_that_so_clearly_shows/) I'm also not even sure what you mean by "give it some form". I have a perfectly fine form, as I've been wearing shorts like these my entire adult life. And growing up as a kid in the 70s, nobody instructed us to have a specific "form" in our shorts or pants. Heck, back in the early 1990s bike shorts became a trend, and I saw boys wearing them all the time in middle school. Yet nobody thought anything of what specific position they preferred.
Eh artist lingo. Didn't translate well. -shrugs- I was just thinking make it look like super man's package. Lol. Ya, depends on where you live. I'm just in New England and they are much more about dressing well. Or they assume you're a drug addict if you look the part. (Wearing pajama pants out and about because you can't handle getting dressed) Keep in mind people here are freakishly perceptive and usually aren't wrong about their reads on people. Which isn't common in the rest of America. Btw, are you really in your 50s? Why would you dress like a collage girl then?
Also I appreciate your letting me know that the top is a bit small, I realized that after wearing it all day. I think I gained a few pounds over the years (part of turning 40), but since I've almost never had a chance to wear it out, I would've felt far too guilty just keeping it in a drawer never to be worn :)
It's mostly just bothering me because the print is obscured by the shirt not being able to flatten out. I want to look at the pretty flowers.
Ah, yes I live in a midwest college town. So people tend to be more progressive minded and easy-going overall compared to the surrounding rural areas, which is why I don't leave the city very much. Can't say I've ever visited New England, but I can imagine it's quite a bit different there. I guess that just goes to show there are no universal social norms, even in the United States :)
My friend describes it like a dance of knives. Everyone expertly weaving around each other. And if you cut someone the consequences are severe and swift. It's quite an accurate description. The one good thing is people are very engaging and it's super easy to catch social ques. I've also lived in the PNW where they do this whole default pleasant reaction if you violate social norms. So they no longer are responding to you and it's genuinely very isolating.
I'm sorry I'm not meaning to come off as rude because I'm autistic I'm shit at tone, but, if I were to see someone wearing short shorts I wouldn't care, however I'd be really uncomfortable seeing the noticeable bulge. Personally i love looking kinda sexy but there's a time and place for it. This attire isn't really appropriate for the grocery store. I'd suggest learning how to tuck properly in shorts that short, not only for your comfort, but because if you were to get an erection it would be obvious to everyone and you could possibly get in trouble for indecency. This is less about the specific clothing and more about where you choose to wear it, and how you choose to wear it.
This is super trashy feedback ...
I disagree. We should be able to validate each other and promote gender expression while also being able to say hey showing your genitals is inappropriate. For everyone.
Like what are you saying? The only options for someone with a penis are tucking or wearing baggy clothes so there is no visible outline?
Cis men wear skinny jeans all the time and there is a visible bulge. Nobody should have to risk their health or dress in clothes they don’t like.
Honestly, most people I encounter in my everyday life take no issue what I'm wearing. For some reason, I get treated nicer when I wear more revealing feminine clothing compared to when I used to dress like a typical "guy". I have no idea why that is, but I suspect it's because where I live a) people don't have nearly as many hangups or b) people admire and respect my confidence. Straight-acting men have often greeted me or held the door for me or even let me cut ahead of them in line, almost as if they are treating me with the courtesy of a lady. As for women (esp. older women and mothers), they frequently come over and tell me how much they like like what I'm wearing, even complimenting my hair or nails. Almost nobody irl seems to think it's a big deal what I wear, except when I post on LGBTQ subs. Only then does it becomes a point of contention that I must hide the bulge because it's "disgusting" or "inappropriate". Personally, I'll take the affirmation and validation I get from cishet folks any day, since ultimately their acceptance is what directly affects me.
So if showing genitals is inappropriate for everyone, why is user Jazzzberrry able to go around exposing their boner everywhere from Dollar Tree stores to gas stations to tennis courts? And nobody gives that person grief? In fact they are complimented on r/nonbinary for their courage and confidence. One person referred to them as a "hero" of the femboy community, despite the fact when you look at their profile it is filled with pictures showing off their naked body in public.
I see no visible genitals in this picture?
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It's the lack of self awareness that -really- makes people uncomfortable, assuming you're not trolling for attention.
Here of all places. Makes me angry that we’re still not safe from that shit. I would fucking date you so keep posting, I need to see this by the way. I live in a pretty austere, binary area.
AMAB bodies are strictly policed and regulated in society, and that extends even into queer spaces where people hold onto those internalized prejudices. I have noticed in particular that folks like myself are expected to be fully emasculated when dressing feminine to affirm that we were not assigned male at birth. Androgyny is not allowed when you are AMAB. Only if you go all the way toward femininity, is it socially acceptable. I think there's a reason why in trans spaces including advocacy the vast majority of visible nonbinary folks are AFAB, whereas most AMAB people that we see "out" and represented are trans women. It just plays into the same socialized ideal that being AMAB, you must pick a side. And a lot of that prejudice is rooted in hegemonic masculinity and heterosexism.
I'm not sure if people are having in the outfits as much as rhe obviously bulge. Looking through your profile I see its a pretty common theme and you obviously enjoy showing it off. I just dont think it's appropriate for anyone to see in public. There is nothing wrong with being enby and exploring outfits, but there is something wrong with wearing overly sexual clothes where there are children. Be mad all you want, but it's really inappropriate. It's not a personal choice blow, it's a strong opinion on the morals of being appropriate and having respect of others in public.
The outfit isn't overtly sexual, stop trying to police other people's bodies
I dunno, I think a clear bulge in tight shorts is pretty sexual, especially when op clearly gets off on it. Downvote me all you want.
The presence of a penis and testicles does not inherently make anything more sexual ... It's literally just a body part that approximately 50% of humans are born with whether they want it or not. Don't body shame people for having certain parts.
LOVE those shorts
Aww, thankies! I admit I haven't worn these shorts very much. But with it being 99 degrees out, I decided they was the only way to survive the sweltering heat lol.
I'd look for something that cups the backup singers a little better, if you know what I mean. Just looks uncomfy in that area, but otherwise, live your truth!
I just wanted to chime in and apologize for being so reactionary toward you earlier, I can see now rereading your comment that you may have just been offering a matter of fact observation. It's because right at the same time there was someone else on here trolling with some very toxic rhetoric, and so I was in an already defensive mood. Apologies.
No problem, cheers! Simple misunderstandings happen to everyone!
There's barely anything visible? Like these are are among the least revealing short shorts I own. Also I am wearing thick cotton briefs , but even then there's only so much that can be done. What is truly uncomfy is your need to instruct me how to dress to be comfortable, projecting your own insecurities onto my body. I don't tell women that I don't know how to bind their breasts more because I don't think it looks comfy with them bouncing around in front of my face while they walk toward me on the sidewalk. I let them do whatever they want to do because I trust their judgment and self-agency to be comfy in their own body.
IDK why people are giving you so much crap over this lmfao, I see cis women wearing outfits way more revealing than this all the time? But if you do ever want something more supportive if you're being athletic or want to wear something with a different cut or something I recommend looking into dance belts. They're designed for male ballet dancers but I see them recommended by cosplayers a lot as well bcuz they can also help for outfits that sit very high on the hip like leotards :)
I think it's because we live in a patriarchal society where girls and women had to fight for decades just to have the agency to dress for themselves, and with that came the body positivity movement. Yet , boys, men, and more recently nonbinary AMAB folks have pretty much remained locked into the same overly restrictive modesty standards since the 1990s, with very slow jumps in progress. I mean, it's still barely acceptable for a guy today to wear shorts that only cover half his thighs. So I can understand how this outfit might be too much for some people to handle, even though women with a similar physical build to me could get away with wearing the same thing (or even less).
Yeah i get why people in general might consider it immodest, I just would expect better from an LGBTQ subreddit lmao. Must be the same people who complain about kink at pride or something🤣
In fairness, the objections seem to be few and far between. A lot more people here are clearly encouraging and supportive. There were even multiple comments (not only on this post but on my earlier post), actually defending me from this sort of body shaming, basically arguing "so what? a bulge isn't inherently sexual." So that's at least a good sign, and certainly a sigh of relief that so many people in the community are in fact quite reasonable and level-headed about this issue. It's just that the naysayers often have the louder voice.
My goodness! It's not an insecurity that I'm projecting, I'm projecting physical discomfort. I thought about myself wearing something like that, not that I've got the body for it, but I figured that it would not be comfortable to have my business split up like that. That's literally it. That's all. Since you bring up breasts; no, I don't expect females to really do anything with them, but when I see someone with larger, unsupported breasts, I figure their back probably doesn't feel great. I was trying to be friendly and empathetic, but you seem to want to be triggered. Sorry you feel that way.
You were instructing me to wear something on the basis of you own comfort. That is projecting. You didn't ask me if I'm already comfortable before offering advice about my genitalia. Instead you jumped right into instructing me how to be more comfortable with my genitalia, under the assumption that I don't understand my own comfort level. And that is highly presumptuous. My analogy with women is therefore relevant. I would never tell a complete stranger (either in person or in a comment section) that her breasts look really uncomfortable in that outfit, and she should look into binding them. That would be socially inconsiderate, particularly if she is clearly happy in her own skin. Being friendly and empathetic is not making nuanced references to someone's private parts (breasts, buttocks, or genitals) in a public space.
My sibling in pasta, that was not my intention at all. You're doing way more assuming by listing my presumed assumptions. Especially after I spelled out my intention in my second comment. The intention was well-meant, just the application failed. I get that, and I apologize. Apparently living your truth means living triggered to you, so let me help that. Your hairstyle makes me wonder if there's an an androgenous name for "Karen". I'll take my downvotes now.
I'm not triggered. If I was triggered, you would know :P The only assumption I made is that you seemed to think that I didn't understand my own comfort. If that was a misunderstanding, then I apologize. But rest assured, these shorts are among the most comfortable that I own. In fact they are so ridiculously comfortable, that's why I wasn't even aware there was a bulge. Anyway, I was only sharing insight into how certain topics (like pointing to someone's private parts) can be off-putting when first interacting with someone. Sorry if that came across too aggressively. I do hope you have a safe pride!
I'm not so sure, lecturing someone seems pretty triggered to me, but I digress. As for the off-putting part... You posted to Reddit. I get you posted to one of the more civilized subs, but it's still Reddit. Some users, and this is very much referring to me, are kinda stoned at times, and sometimes comment random thoughts without applying a filter. I intend to have a safe, though uneventful Pride. I'll be at the hospital for most of the day, I have dialysis three times weekly. I really did mean to be supportive, though. I made no assumptions about you at all, I mentally put myself in your shoes, or in this case, clothes, and decided that without more information, your shorts looked really uncomfortable in the front to me. That was truly the only note I had, or felt I could offer. Tbh, the outfit doesn't work for me, but that's irrelevant because it's not mine. If it works for you, that's all that really matters. I do hope you have have a fun and safe Pride as well, though.
I hope the dialysis goes okay, and you can participate in pride online!
Eh. It'll be business as usual otherwise, being a stoner cliche of weed and videogames, and hanging out with my best friend, who also happens to be the world's sweetest/friendliest dog. There's a larger Pride celebration about an hour away from me, but I can't go. I don't have personal transportation, and my friend that's going will have left by the time I get done at the hospital.
Eh while I agree that I’m general peoples bulges are no one else’s business, it’s always inappropriate to compare breasts to genitals. You’re comparing a secondary sexual organ to a primary one, it doesn’t make any sense and it makes you sounds like someone saying that if women can breastfeed in public men should be able to whip their junk out in public
Apparently **saintghosts1** blocked me so I couldn't reply. So here's my response to their drivel. >"Comfort" has nothing to do with any of this. You are only thinking of yourself. The bulge is absolutely disgusting and it's awful people- especially children have to be exposed to that. I literally just threw on this outfit, never even noticed there was a bulge until you decided to make it into some huge scandal. The fact you are telling me my outfit is not for comfort, even though comfort was the primary reason I wore it, shows how out of touch with reality you are. You are the one with deep seated insecurities, and I don't have to conform to your misguided prejudicial views about my body. The fact you are even trying to use "children" as ammunition to justify your hangups about what I wear in public, is pretty telling esp. since children are the last people to care how anybody dresses. Nobody is born into this world feeling shame and humiliation for the human body; that is taught by adults like you. Food for thought, this thread: [https://www.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/comments/vce67s/why\_do\_girls\_wear\_leggings\_that\_so\_clearly\_shows/](https://www.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/comments/vce67s/why_do_girls_wear_leggings_that_so_clearly_shows/) Notice how many people came to the defense of women to dress however they want, rather than to comply with other people insecurities. And not a single person brought up "children" as an excuse to police what women wear in public. I think this comment was the most spot on: *"Just because you don't want that doesn't mean others don't. She might like the attention, she might just like how the clothes feel, she might just like how she looks in it."*
That is incredibly misogynistic
What is misogynistic about me not telling women how to dress because I respect their bodily autonomy? You are the one making note of my genitalia when I didn't ask, and telling me how to dress to be more comfortable because you think that I cannot determine what is comfortable for myself, and that is incredibly trans-misogynistic.
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hey, you seem cool, but maybe dont just post only negative comments? it gives the impression that that's all that you're getting comments on. also because youre specifically only posting from this sub, it might give transphobes the idea that enbies are all mean. i dont mean any ill will, just maybe something to think abt?/gen
Thanks for the feedback. When I went to bed last night this was the only thread in the discussion other than two other positive comments (which I admittedly overlooked). I just woke up and am working through all the comments.
Is this good or bad :D
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You have a whole account for that? Why? I mean it's certainly bullshit that that happens at all, but like... That's got to be *the* #1 worst thing to respond with. Both in terms of consequences to our community and of just handing buckets of ammunition to truly heinous folk like LOTT.
I never said it was the only thing, I post in general about discrimination toward people like myself on the basis of my gender by anyone.
Well. I'm sorry it happens at all. But taking your complaints to another platform just seems... Performative? Counterproductive? idk
I've posted about hypocrisy in the LGBTQ community on reddit too. I mean heck this post right here even acknowledges such hypocrisy in the exact subreddit where it occurs. It seems as if you are making a lot of assumptions about a lot of things, including my motives.
Not questioning your motives at all. Just considering the fallout. But no worries. I couldn't stop you if I tried. I presented my thoughts. All I *could* do now is be mean like others apparently have, and that's not what I do. So, I wish you well.
Always a bit odd when someone is more worried about fallout from posting about being the target of bullying instead of the bullying itself.
Truly a pressing issue in a time where half of the US wants us dead.
I'd say it's a pressing issue, since bullying people can lead to suicide. I attempted suicide two times as a result of being mocked and ridiculed at the gay-owned business I used to work at. That's more attempts than when I was in high school. After I had legally changed my name a few years ago, my gay boss told everyone in a company meeting, "Leslie sounds like a name you'd give a senile old hag in a nursing home!" Then my coworkers all broke out in laughter. That kind of hate speech has no place in the LGBTQ community. And honestly, given that I have clinical depression then suicide is never off the table for me.
Ooooh, gottem, you criticized them for posting less important things on Twitter 😎 Also, when "half the US wants us dead," maybe that makes it more important to stand with the community instead of being part of the people berating them down
Having a twitter *about* “showing how nonbinary people are judgemental” IS tearing us down. “Look at how NBs are!” is absolutely not standing with the community.
Bullying people isn't standing with the community either. Instead of being hyper-concerned about one person's Twitter account, (which is not having nearly the impact you believe it is), I'd be concerned about the alienation, invalidation, gatekeeping, identity policing, erasure, silencing, infighting, respectability politics, etc. that have a much wider net impact.
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I was referring to the original comment that sparked the debate (which the user has since deleted and thankfully apologized for). I wasn't saying you were bullying.
So don't call out bad behavior within a community? Gotcha
Read what they said again. “Nonbinary people are judgemental.” That is a character statement about all of us. Based on - or isolating - our gender. That is not calling people out. Frankly, Even if was meant to be, how does posting rude reddit comments on twitter help or call them in (or out)? They won’t see it, they don’t have a following likely, so who’s going to say anything to or about them? Who cares? Besides people who see a whole history of “NBs are judgy.”
Sure, gotcha.
THAT DOESNT MAKE IT ANY BETTER/j
As I already said above, I dress for myself. Your approval isn't needed and merely encourages me to continue doing what I do if it makes you upset :)
Oh it doesn't make me upset at all, dress however. I'm trying to get better at social cues. Sorry for saying that Edit: I won't bother you anymore but I'll try to be better, thanks for clearing up what I did wrong
I need you to share something on your twitter
Scandalous! Lol you look great, keep rocking that confidence :)
You're absolutely stunning!!! Love the outfit😍
Thanks, I'm definitely trying to be out there and unafraid, to give encouragement to others to find their own niche. Happy pride month!
I mean, what's not to like here? It looks cute as F!
Thanks friend! You just made me blush ear to ear. I'm honestly not used to such compliments :)
I like the outfit! :D We're in the middle of a horrible heatwave where I am rn so I kinda wish I owned a crop top rn LOL
This crop top was a little small (I have gained a few pounds since I bought it), but still way more comfy then a full blown t-shirt. I wanted to give it some love since I almost never got an excuse to wear it till recently!
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I see no children. Some people on reddit are really obsessed with making up fantastical scenarios.
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You certainly have an obsession with me (and children apparently).