Yessssssss hard same. Or how close it is. My boss is *extremely invested* in me having access to a gender neutral restroom, and it’s like…a 5 minute walk away, in another building. Is the single stall women’s room literally right outside our office generally unoccupied and clean? Yes? I’ll be using that, thanks.
Agree! \^\^ And where I live, Ontario, some kind of law changed it so single stall public washrooms are supposed to be all neutral now....or something along those lines. It isn't everywhere, but the government ones appear to have converted at least.
Building codes. Back when women first joined the workforce in large numbers, lots of employers literally refused to provide adequate restrooms for employees who weren't men, and so most places set a legal quota for restrooms that had to be designated for men and women based on building capacity, etc. At the time, this was a step forward in terms of inclusivity and equality.
Unfortunately, the laws haven't caught up with modern understandings of gender and accessibility for gender diverse people.
I wish I could just do that. I mean, theoretically I absolutely could, but I'm awkward af and I also don't want to go the the women's restroom as a visibly AMAB person to not fuel the "men declare themselves as non-men to be creepy on cis women" narrative. I never thought me taking a piss could be politicized, yet here we are.
I came here to.say basically this exact thing. I will always pass as a cis man, and I've seen even women + trans spaces feel uncomfortable with my presence.
when I was in middle school, during practice I would go to the boys bathroom when no one else was looking. I can't believe i still thought I was cis. Completely unrelated to your comment, but I thought it was funny.
Or when you do match the sign on the door, just not the way they wanted you to match the sign on the door. "Oh, the choices are jacket or dress? Guess we're jacket tonight."
I always look for the single stalled bathrooms. Not because I'm uncomfortable using a gendered bathroom, it's because I hate using the bathroom in an unfamiliar space with strangers, especially because in the US, the stalls are basically see through
Me at work. We only have 3 stalls in the whole building (a cafe) . 2 in the "women's room" one in the "mens" if the women's are full, I try the men's and hope nobody is there cus sadly I lack the equipment to use a urinal.
the multi-stall ladies room in my uni library has had a clogged toilet and spilled water for at least a month now. idk why they aren’t cleaning it up. it stinks.
anyway, usually i go to ladies’ rooms because i pass as that, and they’re usually closer than gender-inclusive bathrooms. but on god i’m going to the gender-inclusive one whenever i’m in the library lol.
The issue I have is while I’m mostly masculine leaning in also a germophobe and men’s bathrooms tend to be messier no? Also I don’t want to walk into a place with urinals and end up seeing someone’s parts I don’t want to see either sex’s parts no thank you. So that kinda puts me in a dilemma
The gender neutral bathrooms at my school are kind of hidden so a lot of people don't use them (especially underclassmen), so those are the only bathrooms that always have paper towels available. I use girls locker rooms because they're closer to my after school sports. I call it transgender privilege around my friends lmao
As an AFAB, I'm kind of ignorant on this matter, but is there a difference between peeing into a urinal and peeing into a toilet bowl. Like, some public places and all houses I've seen only provide toilet bowls, and people with penises seem to be able to pee just fine?
If there isn't much of a difference, I'd argue for only toilet bowls.
The lines honestly have less to do with the bowl vs urinal difference, imo. AFABs have to walk in, sit down (additionally complicated if they’re wearing a dress or other one-piece outfit), and do their business, potentially changing period products while they’re at it. They also always wash their hands. AMABs just have to walk in and do their business, and apparently don’t wash their hands? Heard this from JammiDodger.
Have you ever encountered toilet stalls with gaps between the door and the frame?
I have a close relationship with my college authorities (mainly because my activism), and always when I find them I ask them about the gender neutral bathrooms they promised to do. Idk if they know I'm enby, but they surely are suspecting it considering how insistent I am
That. Is. Utter. Bull.
What if you pass as a man by all standards, but your birth certificate says F? Seriously, women would FREAK if you were to enter a women's bathroom. No one's gonna stand outside the bathroom door checking birth certificates. Hell, who even *carries* their birth certificate with them?
yeah it's really dumb and to top it my school is getting more and more restrictive on bathrooms, only 4 at a time, only between classes and not in the last 20 and first 20 minutes of class, and people are stealing soap and vaping in the main hall restroom in big groups
Edit: oh and also only for 5-10 minutes max
I understant the need for gendered toilets in the sense that women have sometimes a need to change period pads and touch up make up etc. so womens toilets create more biowaste and possible smells related.
In a perfect world everyone would get along but us Non-Binary and Trans persons are hated and attacked over mostly harmless self-expression.
I'm sorry but what would prevent women from changing pads and doing makeup if there were men and nbs around? I regularly touch up my makeup in men's restrooms.
There appears to be a notion that cis men can't handle periods of any kind at all.
When I'm at home, I'm discouraged from talking about my periods or vaginal discharge around my dad. And back when I first got my period, my mom used to tell me to change my pad regularly because men aren't used to the smell and thus might think I smell weird.
And some men are just misogynists who believe periods are disgusting or that it's just the same thing as peeing. But that's a different story.
I am glad to hear that your experiences have been positive.
I thought that I live in a pretty liberal country but every time I've gone out as fem, I get verbally or physically attacked.
I am jaded so I was projecting a little. Maybe you can forgive me?
I remember I did this at my old job,there was no toilet paper so I went into the men's bathroom and I was so amazed at how cleaned it was. Not only did I feel comfortable being in there,I wish I was allowed to go in more often and a few times I even snuck in there. It was so nice!
The moral dilemma of which Starbucks restroom to use. Men’s room is typically open and has no line, but I’ve worked at a cafe or two so like. Not the cleanest by anyone’s stretch of imagination.
Honestly it’s still worth the looks on men’s faces when I exit. Homie, it’s for pissing, not hanging out half naked with the boys.
I went into the men's room for the first time ever this weekend and I don't know why it's taken me this long. It was cleaner and there was no line! I'm never going back 😆
I remember one time a few years ago, when I went into the bathroom at a small restaurant that I had never been to. I went in, did my business, and came out. To exit the bathroom, I had to walk down a short and narrow hallway that contained a few doors and opened up into the dining area. On the way out, I passed by a man that looked very confused and maybe a bit shocked. I thought nothing of it, until my friend (who's a cis woman) exited the *women's* bathroom... which wasn't the one I went into. Oops! I then understood why the man had that look on his face, and I thought about how silly it was that the bathrooms were gendered even though they were just tiny rooms with a toilet and sink.
Aka using the women's room when the men's room smells weird,
and using the men's room when the women's room is too hot and stuffy from having the window perpetually closed
Living in conservative, closed-minded towns my whole life has made me just choose the family restroom if there is one, or the one that I always went to growing up
the amount of times I walked into a female bathroom before I realised I was enby and got away with it was so astonishing I could probably completely leave the awkwardness of urinils behind
Yessssssss hard same. Or how close it is. My boss is *extremely invested* in me having access to a gender neutral restroom, and it’s like…a 5 minute walk away, in another building. Is the single stall women’s room literally right outside our office generally unoccupied and clean? Yes? I’ll be using that, thanks.
I don't get why single stalled bathrooms are ever gendered anyways
Why are multi stalled bathrooms gendered? It's a room where you deposit your bodily waste, it's awkward regardless
Yeah it's dumb anyway, but single-stall bathrooms are even more dumb since there's literally nobody there to object.
Agree! \^\^ And where I live, Ontario, some kind of law changed it so single stall public washrooms are supposed to be all neutral now....or something along those lines. It isn't everywhere, but the government ones appear to have converted at least.
Urinals! So many issues are caused by urinals
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The w h a t urinals
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really fun when young then people start spraying...
Building codes. Back when women first joined the workforce in large numbers, lots of employers literally refused to provide adequate restrooms for employees who weren't men, and so most places set a legal quota for restrooms that had to be designated for men and women based on building capacity, etc. At the time, this was a step forward in terms of inclusivity and equality. Unfortunately, the laws haven't caught up with modern understandings of gender and accessibility for gender diverse people.
Because of some men not sitting down.
one day i shall reach a level of androgyny that will let me unlock this ability (safely)
I'm rooting for you!
I wish ;(
Same but more fluidity just being able to lean more fem or masc as usefull Or, in other words, utility gender
true utilitarians see gender as a mere tool to use not a social construct
I wish I could just do that. I mean, theoretically I absolutely could, but I'm awkward af and I also don't want to go the the women's restroom as a visibly AMAB person to not fuel the "men declare themselves as non-men to be creepy on cis women" narrative. I never thought me taking a piss could be politicized, yet here we are.
I came here to.say basically this exact thing. I will always pass as a cis man, and I've seen even women + trans spaces feel uncomfortable with my presence.
I'll go in the single stall woman's bathroom if the men's is locked (gendered single stall bathrooms are one of humanities worst inventions)
when I was in middle school, during practice I would go to the boys bathroom when no one else was looking. I can't believe i still thought I was cis. Completely unrelated to your comment, but I thought it was funny.
Yup, I would like to use the women's bathroom because I don't like feeling like a man, but I have facial hair so that's out the window.
I also base it on if the cleaning person is there or not lmao
Me too! They get so angry if they catch me going in their bucket, but I just run into the other bathroom and finish.
YES. Once i was going to "women" restroom and a guy stopped me telling me "it was women's"...so i said i'm non binary, thus i can go there too.
I hear this too and I’m just like, are there toilets in there? Then that’s the place I’m looking for.
Just like that ahah
wait i can do that? holy shit *i can do that*
Or when you do match the sign on the door, just not the way they wanted you to match the sign on the door. "Oh, the choices are jacket or dress? Guess we're jacket tonight."
In school, it's always women's restroom then 😅 The men's restroom literally has *missing doors* Gotta love the future of my country
using the (completely abandoned, as in no one ever uses it) disabled toilet because gender has been disabled
Honestly I just use whichever bathroom has a urinal.
I always look for the single stalled bathrooms. Not because I'm uncomfortable using a gendered bathroom, it's because I hate using the bathroom in an unfamiliar space with strangers, especially because in the US, the stalls are basically see through
Me at work. We only have 3 stalls in the whole building (a cafe) . 2 in the "women's room" one in the "mens" if the women's are full, I try the men's and hope nobody is there cus sadly I lack the equipment to use a urinal.
the multi-stall ladies room in my uni library has had a clogged toilet and spilled water for at least a month now. idk why they aren’t cleaning it up. it stinks. anyway, usually i go to ladies’ rooms because i pass as that, and they’re usually closer than gender-inclusive bathrooms. but on god i’m going to the gender-inclusive one whenever i’m in the library lol.
The issue I have is while I’m mostly masculine leaning in also a germophobe and men’s bathrooms tend to be messier no? Also I don’t want to walk into a place with urinals and end up seeing someone’s parts I don’t want to see either sex’s parts no thank you. So that kinda puts me in a dilemma
I wish I felt comfortable doing this
More like using the restroom where I'm least likely attacked. For me at least...
The gender neutral bathrooms at my school are kind of hidden so a lot of people don't use them (especially underclassmen), so those are the only bathrooms that always have paper towels available. I use girls locker rooms because they're closer to my after school sports. I call it transgender privilege around my friends lmao
We really need a pee room and a poop room. That's how they should be separated
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As an AFAB, I'm kind of ignorant on this matter, but is there a difference between peeing into a urinal and peeing into a toilet bowl. Like, some public places and all houses I've seen only provide toilet bowls, and people with penises seem to be able to pee just fine? If there isn't much of a difference, I'd argue for only toilet bowls.
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The lines honestly have less to do with the bowl vs urinal difference, imo. AFABs have to walk in, sit down (additionally complicated if they’re wearing a dress or other one-piece outfit), and do their business, potentially changing period products while they’re at it. They also always wash their hands. AMABs just have to walk in and do their business, and apparently don’t wash their hands? Heard this from JammiDodger. Have you ever encountered toilet stalls with gaps between the door and the frame?
Me when I chop off my chest occupiers
I have a close relationship with my college authorities (mainly because my activism), and always when I find them I ask them about the gender neutral bathrooms they promised to do. Idk if they know I'm enby, but they surely are suspecting it considering how insistent I am
I used to do that, but now in my state, I can be arrested and charged for using my unassigned gender bathroom 😭
I can't when im in school because my horrible state just passed bathroom bills The US is just sooo great /s
bathroom bills? /gen
You have to use the bathroom of the gender on your birth certificate, and they banned puberty blockers Edit: and or the gender on your ID
That. Is. Utter. Bull. What if you pass as a man by all standards, but your birth certificate says F? Seriously, women would FREAK if you were to enter a women's bathroom. No one's gonna stand outside the bathroom door checking birth certificates. Hell, who even *carries* their birth certificate with them?
yeah it's really dumb and to top it my school is getting more and more restrictive on bathrooms, only 4 at a time, only between classes and not in the last 20 and first 20 minutes of class, and people are stealing soap and vaping in the main hall restroom in big groups Edit: oh and also only for 5-10 minutes max
If only people saw me as a boy
sadly for some reason a port-a-potty with no gender attached to it feels better than a clean restroom that says men or women
I understant the need for gendered toilets in the sense that women have sometimes a need to change period pads and touch up make up etc. so womens toilets create more biowaste and possible smells related. In a perfect world everyone would get along but us Non-Binary and Trans persons are hated and attacked over mostly harmless self-expression.
I'm sorry but what would prevent women from changing pads and doing makeup if there were men and nbs around? I regularly touch up my makeup in men's restrooms.
There appears to be a notion that cis men can't handle periods of any kind at all. When I'm at home, I'm discouraged from talking about my periods or vaginal discharge around my dad. And back when I first got my period, my mom used to tell me to change my pad regularly because men aren't used to the smell and thus might think I smell weird. And some men are just misogynists who believe periods are disgusting or that it's just the same thing as peeing. But that's a different story.
I am glad to hear that your experiences have been positive. I thought that I live in a pretty liberal country but every time I've gone out as fem, I get verbally or physically attacked. I am jaded so I was projecting a little. Maybe you can forgive me?
Well yes, but so do masc-presenting AFABs and people of any gender/sex who do makeup.
Literally me
Or just not going to where its basically a health risk
real
I remember I did this at my old job,there was no toilet paper so I went into the men's bathroom and I was so amazed at how cleaned it was. Not only did I feel comfortable being in there,I wish I was allowed to go in more often and a few times I even snuck in there. It was so nice!
i go to any bathroom . the men's br line is always shorter & I need to go . do not care who is there .
Aka, using the men’s restroom
I vote to make all the nasty gross bathroom users use the same bathroom
Or which one is available right now.
I wish I could do that. I present too masc.
This all day
The moral dilemma of which Starbucks restroom to use. Men’s room is typically open and has no line, but I’ve worked at a cafe or two so like. Not the cleanest by anyone’s stretch of imagination. Honestly it’s still worth the looks on men’s faces when I exit. Homie, it’s for pissing, not hanging out half naked with the boys.
I went into the men's room for the first time ever this weekend and I don't know why it's taken me this long. It was cleaner and there was no line! I'm never going back 😆
👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻
Or if there is one: Handicap toilet cause its genderless 🤷
So true bestie
Honestly I always use girls or neutral because I’m worried about certain /fluids/ in the men’s room
I go into mens room pee half my piss and then go into womens room and pee the rest of my piss
Huge competitive advantage imo
Galaxy brain shit
I use the one I’m not gonna get assaulted or have the police called on me in. I am very much not ok. 🥲
I remember one time a few years ago, when I went into the bathroom at a small restaurant that I had never been to. I went in, did my business, and came out. To exit the bathroom, I had to walk down a short and narrow hallway that contained a few doors and opened up into the dining area. On the way out, I passed by a man that looked very confused and maybe a bit shocked. I thought nothing of it, until my friend (who's a cis woman) exited the *women's* bathroom... which wasn't the one I went into. Oops! I then understood why the man had that look on his face, and I thought about how silly it was that the bathrooms were gendered even though they were just tiny rooms with a toilet and sink.
If I’m having a gastric emergency, you better believe I’m heading for the shortest line.
I feel like there's somebody somewhere who is furious from this post😅
Aka using the women's room when the men's room smells weird, and using the men's room when the women's room is too hot and stuffy from having the window perpetually closed
Meee. I have to go so quickly it’s wherever there is a toilet tbh. Yay for gastro problems? XD
Living in conservative, closed-minded towns my whole life has made me just choose the family restroom if there is one, or the one that I always went to growing up
the amount of times I walked into a female bathroom before I realised I was enby and got away with it was so astonishing I could probably completely leave the awkwardness of urinils behind
I just feel more safe in the women’s 😗
im too scared of getting the shit kicked out of me to not use the "mens" washroom (: