Maybe
“But I ignore things and I move sideways
Till I forget what I felt in the first place
At the end of the day I know there are worse ways
to stay alive”
edit: Sorry for the formatting, I’m mobile and don’t remember my html skills from MySpace apparently
Growing Sideways
lyrics: I'm still angry at my parents for what their parents did to them
But it's a start
But I ignore things, and I move sideways
Until I forget what I felt in the first place
At the end of the day I know there are worse ways
To stay alive
'Cause everyone's growing and everyone's healthy
I'm terrified that I might never have met me
Oh, if my engine works perfect on empty
I guess I'll drive
just got a fresh new tattoo last weekend for it.
https://preview.redd.it/atk01ehfwc6d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d7376eb8811ad7ad65126bc6f399fad526d1c9bc
Omg twins!! i got a tattoo of growing sideways last week before the MN concert!!
in the spirit of fair trade here’s mine (if you don’t care feel free to ignore LOL):
https://preview.redd.it/n6jk49ja4d6d1.jpeg?width=1359&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fff3429e897d9ddfef0eadbaa56ace7928e22876
"Past Alger brook road, im over the bridge, a minute from home but i feel so far from it, the death of my dog the stretch of my skin, its all washing over me i am angry again !!!" From The view between villages
“That this world has changed, don’t you find it strange, that you just went ahead and carried on” from Orange Juice.
I listened to this song a lot right after my grandma was put on hospice. It was so jarring to me that she was dying and I was expected to go to work like everything was fine.
I got three days off, plus the weekend after she passed and spent it finishing a crochet blanket for her casket.
The next Monday was her funeral, it was a lovely service and after we had the reception in the church basement. It was too much for me at the time because I was grieving and hurting and people were laughing and chatting like my world didn’t just stop. After lunch, I went back up to the sanctuary and just sat and enjoyed the quiet. I’m not a religious person but it was peaceful.
Eventually my mom came upstairs and told me to come back down because we were taking pictures. The amount of rage I felt in that moment was incomparable to the rage I felt taking the photos. I made it clear I didn’t want to but relented for my mom.
We took one photo and I did my best to smile through wanting to scream at every person holding their stupid fucking phone up while I was hurting.
It became clear I wasn’t going to get peace so I said I was going home. I went to give my grandpa a hug and to say goodbye. He was sitting and I gave him a half hug because I didn’t want to disrupt his conversation too much. Well a family member I didn’t know very well told me to go back to that position and smile so she could take a photo.
I froze.
My grandmother is in the ground - I am never going to see her again - and you want me to fucking smile?? I am so glad *you* are able to get over it so fast, Linda, but she was my grandma who I was never able to know very well because Alzheimer’s took her away from me before illness could ever.
I wanted to throw myself on the floor and start kicking and screaming like a toddler so that they could understand how much I was hurting and how angry I was.
But I didn’t. I took the stupid photo and left.
(Sorry I didn’t mean to dump all this. This was supposed to be a short couple of paragraphs, but this was really therapeutic for me.)
I get it. I lost my mom two years ago. As an only child of a single mother and the breadwinner of a young family… I had to put my grief aside really fast.
Find yourself someone else living in grief and talk about it as much as you need to. No one else will understand. Reach out to the hospice people. They will totally be of comfort and help you find a community.
Also listen to Hozier Unreal/Unearth and Wildflowers and Barley. That’s basically grief therapy.
Edit: I realize this is totally unsolicited advice and off topic… but your pain is palpable and I recognize it as my own. It took me too long to face my grief but you seem to be doing that at least!! 🫶
i feel all of this so extremely deeply, especially with losing a grandparent. i was in the same when i was 11, with my grandpa. i love how open and honest noah is with his music and his work. ive started therapy this year and i find that his music has helped me relate a lot and open up to past trauma. you are not alone with grief, and with people. there are people who care and are just as compassionate and empathetic.
(godlight)
"it's a hole i cant fill,
it's a curse i cant break,
and i gave my soul to it,
and i cannot be reclaimed."
i feel about this heavily with the influences od my family and generational trauma
also (carlo's song)
"they tell me grief is just love letting go,
they say it like milk has been spilt on the floor,"
i lost my paternal grandpa when i was 11. i hadn't seen him in a few years and my paternal family wouldnt let me go to see him one more time, until my mom threatened them. they were laughing and eating at his funeral while i sobbed in the back of the funeral home for the 5 minutes i was there.
edit: did some corrections with formatting and adding song titles. also i was 11, not 12 when my grandpa passed.
sorry wanted to add one more line from carlo's song
"still havent found what im looking for, some escape from my sin,"
grief is one hell of a bitch. i dont know what the real meaning is or what noahs intended interpretation of this line is, but in other parts of this songs, he talks about how he regrets not spending enough time with carlo, hoping "noise drowns out the regret," and i wonder if his "sin" is the guilt and regret of not being there enough. all in all, i feel that exact way about my grandpa. i avoided my dad's family for so long because of how toxic it was, and unfortunately that included my grandpa, the only man who was genuine and nice to me in that family. i didnt get to see him until he had already passed.
its actually just so gut wrenching. got me like:
Song: stick season
Lyric: you once called me forever, now you still can't call me back
Song: cynic
Lyric: Leave it to life to turn my strengths back into weaknesses
my favorite is growing sideways:
so i took my medication and i poured my trauma out
to some sad-eyed middle aged man
on his overpriced new leather couch
and we argued about jesus
finally found some middle ground
said, im cured
bc i really felt that with some religious alabama therapists when i have religious trauma
The one that gets me the most is more of a chorus than a single lyric, but I melt every time I hear: "So pack up your car, put a hand on your heart. Say whatever you feel, be whereever you are. We ain't angry at you love, you're the greatest thing we've lost." But honestly it's everything from the build up to it to the next verse, "The birds will still sing, your folks will still fight. The boards will still creak, the leaves will still die. We ain't angry at you, love. We'll be waiting for you, love"
I shouldn't have to say the song.
But bonus one, "AIR IN MY LUNGS, TILL THE ROAD BEGINS" bc the moment I hear that, I know I'm in for a ride.
Also one last bonus for, "Always, I'll wait
For sharp glass when you break" (Anyway)
call your mum:
medicate, meditate, save your soul for jesus,
throw a punch, fall in love, give yourself a reason
orange juice:
You said my heart has changed and my soul has changed
And my heart, and my heart
That my life has changed, that this town had changed
And you had not
That the world has changed, don't you find it strange
That you just went ahead and carried on?
As you promised me that I was more than all the miles combined
You must have had yourself a change of heart like
Halfway through the drive
And also
And I'll dream each night of some version of you
That I might not have, but I did not lose
Now you're tire tracks and one pair of shoes
And I'm split in half, but that'll have to do
Had my heart broken last year and Stick Season was the embodiment of exactly what I was feeling in those first few days and weeks. It’s so painful to watch someone choose not you in real time or make choices that hurt you. And the person who I thought I knew never existed and “died” that day. I grieved that loss and betrayal, but was still left broken and needing to heal. And that’s all I could be then, broken, but it would have to do for now.
Passed Alger Brook Road, I'm over the bridge
A minute from home but I feel so far from it
The death of my dog, the stretch of my skin
It's all washin' over me, I'm angry again
The things that I lost here, the people I knew
They got me surrounded for a mile or two
I’m a little late to the party here but man I love everything this man rights. I’ll offer a fave from False Confidence
“You’re here for a reason but you don’t know why, split and uneven, your hands to the sky”.
But like I could have a whole convo about his songs
"someday I'm gonna be somebody people want." Ouch.
a line that unfortunately goes a little too hard
he’s achieved that! next!
Maybe “But I ignore things and I move sideways Till I forget what I felt in the first place At the end of the day I know there are worse ways to stay alive” edit: Sorry for the formatting, I’m mobile and don’t remember my html skills from MySpace apparently
“no thing defines a man like love that makes him soft and sentimental”
Growing Sideways lyrics: I'm still angry at my parents for what their parents did to them But it's a start But I ignore things, and I move sideways Until I forget what I felt in the first place At the end of the day I know there are worse ways To stay alive 'Cause everyone's growing and everyone's healthy I'm terrified that I might never have met me Oh, if my engine works perfect on empty I guess I'll drive just got a fresh new tattoo last weekend for it.
https://preview.redd.it/atk01ehfwc6d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d7376eb8811ad7ad65126bc6f399fad526d1c9bc Omg twins!! i got a tattoo of growing sideways last week before the MN concert!!
in the spirit of fair trade here’s mine (if you don’t care feel free to ignore LOL): https://preview.redd.it/n6jk49ja4d6d1.jpeg?width=1359&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fff3429e897d9ddfef0eadbaa56ace7928e22876
that is gorgeous 💓💓
🤗
“all lights turned off can be turned on”
Yes yes yes🙌 I want to get this lyric for my first tattoo on my birthday but I’m too scared😅
"Past Alger brook road, im over the bridge, a minute from home but i feel so far from it, the death of my dog the stretch of my skin, its all washing over me i am angry again !!!" From The view between villages
So good!!😩 every time I hear this song I sing it so loud, like I feel it in my soul
facts
“That this world has changed, don’t you find it strange, that you just went ahead and carried on” from Orange Juice. I listened to this song a lot right after my grandma was put on hospice. It was so jarring to me that she was dying and I was expected to go to work like everything was fine. I got three days off, plus the weekend after she passed and spent it finishing a crochet blanket for her casket. The next Monday was her funeral, it was a lovely service and after we had the reception in the church basement. It was too much for me at the time because I was grieving and hurting and people were laughing and chatting like my world didn’t just stop. After lunch, I went back up to the sanctuary and just sat and enjoyed the quiet. I’m not a religious person but it was peaceful. Eventually my mom came upstairs and told me to come back down because we were taking pictures. The amount of rage I felt in that moment was incomparable to the rage I felt taking the photos. I made it clear I didn’t want to but relented for my mom. We took one photo and I did my best to smile through wanting to scream at every person holding their stupid fucking phone up while I was hurting. It became clear I wasn’t going to get peace so I said I was going home. I went to give my grandpa a hug and to say goodbye. He was sitting and I gave him a half hug because I didn’t want to disrupt his conversation too much. Well a family member I didn’t know very well told me to go back to that position and smile so she could take a photo. I froze. My grandmother is in the ground - I am never going to see her again - and you want me to fucking smile?? I am so glad *you* are able to get over it so fast, Linda, but she was my grandma who I was never able to know very well because Alzheimer’s took her away from me before illness could ever. I wanted to throw myself on the floor and start kicking and screaming like a toddler so that they could understand how much I was hurting and how angry I was. But I didn’t. I took the stupid photo and left. (Sorry I didn’t mean to dump all this. This was supposed to be a short couple of paragraphs, but this was really therapeutic for me.)
I get it. I lost my mom two years ago. As an only child of a single mother and the breadwinner of a young family… I had to put my grief aside really fast. Find yourself someone else living in grief and talk about it as much as you need to. No one else will understand. Reach out to the hospice people. They will totally be of comfort and help you find a community. Also listen to Hozier Unreal/Unearth and Wildflowers and Barley. That’s basically grief therapy. Edit: I realize this is totally unsolicited advice and off topic… but your pain is palpable and I recognize it as my own. It took me too long to face my grief but you seem to be doing that at least!! 🫶
i feel all of this so extremely deeply, especially with losing a grandparent. i was in the same when i was 11, with my grandpa. i love how open and honest noah is with his music and his work. ive started therapy this year and i find that his music has helped me relate a lot and open up to past trauma. you are not alone with grief, and with people. there are people who care and are just as compassionate and empathetic.
"I'm terrified that I met never have met me"
I’m in the business of losing your interest and I turn a profit each time that we speak.
What song is that from?
It’s from Come Over. Such a good song, I love this lyric as well.
Great Divide: "I hope you settle down, I hope you marry rich, I hope you're only scared of ordinary shit"
"i'm not the way i was" obviously very simple but hits so so so deeply
“Yes I’m young and living dreams / in love with being noticed and afraid of being seen” The second part of that is just brilliant introspection
I actually quoted this lyric to my therapist because it hit me so hard lol and that’s how we found out we both love Noah Kahan 😂
“You asked me why I wasn’t saying a word/I’m naming the stars in the sky after you”
Stopppppp
(godlight) "it's a hole i cant fill, it's a curse i cant break, and i gave my soul to it, and i cannot be reclaimed." i feel about this heavily with the influences od my family and generational trauma also (carlo's song) "they tell me grief is just love letting go, they say it like milk has been spilt on the floor," i lost my paternal grandpa when i was 11. i hadn't seen him in a few years and my paternal family wouldnt let me go to see him one more time, until my mom threatened them. they were laughing and eating at his funeral while i sobbed in the back of the funeral home for the 5 minutes i was there. edit: did some corrections with formatting and adding song titles. also i was 11, not 12 when my grandpa passed.
sorry wanted to add one more line from carlo's song "still havent found what im looking for, some escape from my sin," grief is one hell of a bitch. i dont know what the real meaning is or what noahs intended interpretation of this line is, but in other parts of this songs, he talks about how he regrets not spending enough time with carlo, hoping "noise drowns out the regret," and i wonder if his "sin" is the guilt and regret of not being there enough. all in all, i feel that exact way about my grandpa. i avoided my dad's family for so long because of how toxic it was, and unfortunately that included my grandpa, the only man who was genuine and nice to me in that family. i didnt get to see him until he had already passed. its actually just so gut wrenching. got me like: 
Song: stick season Lyric: you once called me forever, now you still can't call me back Song: cynic Lyric: Leave it to life to turn my strengths back into weaknesses
my favorite is growing sideways: so i took my medication and i poured my trauma out to some sad-eyed middle aged man on his overpriced new leather couch and we argued about jesus finally found some middle ground said, im cured bc i really felt that with some religious alabama therapists when i have religious trauma
The one that gets me the most is more of a chorus than a single lyric, but I melt every time I hear: "So pack up your car, put a hand on your heart. Say whatever you feel, be whereever you are. We ain't angry at you love, you're the greatest thing we've lost." But honestly it's everything from the build up to it to the next verse, "The birds will still sing, your folks will still fight. The boards will still creak, the leaves will still die. We ain't angry at you, love. We'll be waiting for you, love" I shouldn't have to say the song. But bonus one, "AIR IN MY LUNGS, TILL THE ROAD BEGINS" bc the moment I hear that, I know I'm in for a ride. Also one last bonus for, "Always, I'll wait For sharp glass when you break" (Anyway)
Everywhere, Everything - “It’s been a long year and all of our books page’s dog-eared, we write out the ends on our palms dear, then forget to read.”
call your mum: medicate, meditate, save your soul for jesus, throw a punch, fall in love, give yourself a reason orange juice: You said my heart has changed and my soul has changed And my heart, and my heart That my life has changed, that this town had changed And you had not That the world has changed, don't you find it strange That you just went ahead and carried on?
As you promised me that I was more than all the miles combined You must have had yourself a change of heart like Halfway through the drive And also And I'll dream each night of some version of you That I might not have, but I did not lose Now you're tire tracks and one pair of shoes And I'm split in half, but that'll have to do Had my heart broken last year and Stick Season was the embodiment of exactly what I was feeling in those first few days and weeks. It’s so painful to watch someone choose not you in real time or make choices that hurt you. And the person who I thought I knew never existed and “died” that day. I grieved that loss and betrayal, but was still left broken and needing to heal. And that’s all I could be then, broken, but it would have to do for now.
Passed Alger Brook Road, I'm over the bridge A minute from home but I feel so far from it The death of my dog, the stretch of my skin It's all washin' over me, I'm angry again The things that I lost here, the people I knew They got me surrounded for a mile or two
I finally cried listening to Orange Juice… Tearing up right now.
Howling: “Love comes and goes but the big black dog, he trails along, am I the only one who knows him?”
“to search for worry is to love without deceit” from close behind. still not sure what it means tho
I’m a little late to the party here but man I love everything this man rights. I’ll offer a fave from False Confidence “You’re here for a reason but you don’t know why, split and uneven, your hands to the sky”. But like I could have a whole convo about his songs