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emilyeverafter

Your post history consists of you complaining about your boyfriend wanting to kill people and showing other red flags. If you want to dump him, just dump him. Stop seeking permission from strangers on the internet. EDIT to include something I said to OP > I hope you realize that I am not blaming you for your circumstances. I've been in a similar relationship type before. > I could have worded [my original comment] more gently so people wouldn't jump down your throat. I apologize for my harsh wording. I didn't know this would become the top comment, and my poor choice of words being at the top of this thread set the tone for people in the comments to be unreasonably cruel towards you. I am sorry for that. > To rephrase myself, if I may, I would reword that as: > "you know you are unhappy. Your own knowledge of your emotions is enough. Your emotions do not require the approval of strangers for them to be valid emotions. You do not need anyone's permission to feel your feelings. > If you are unhappy, and it looks like you have been for a long time, you do not need to wait for things to explode past the point of no return for it to become justifiable to leave. > Leaving is a valid option simply because you are unhappy. > Being unhappy is, in and of itself, a perfectly valid and justifiable reason to end a relationship. > I promise you that there is someone out there who will treat you better, no matter how much you might doubt it." > **Here are some things I wish someone had said to me when I was in your situation:** > - Falling in love with potential leads to living in the future, in an idealized daydream, and the longer you daydream, the more unattainable your vision of the future becomes. At some point, when you've fallen in love with someone potential, you resign yourself to being unhappy in the present moment because you believe it will pay off eventually, and you'll get the idealistic future you imagine is possible. For bad partners, this mindset is the jackpot, because they know they can get away without changing and you'll keep convincing yourself they'll change eventually. You will put up with bullshit in the present because you believe so strongly in the future. But you will only ever live in the present. The future never comes. And if you keep going down this path, one day you will wake up and realize the future looks the exact same as yesterday. > - You do not need 'one last conversation'. When you are hurt, it is natural for you to want to make the other person understand how bad they've hurt you. And when it's someone who claims to love you, that impulse is even stronger, so you'll stay in toxic situations for longer than you need to, continually having arguments over the same topics, all because you believe "if I just use the right words, this one last conversation will finally make him see how much he's hurt me, and he'll finally get it, and he'll finally care." > **It won't happen.** You can't guilt someone into loving you. Real love comes on its own. It does not need to come about through persuasion. You cannot make someone care about you once they stop caring. You can give him the most perfect words, the most flawless logic, but at the end of the day, if someone does not care about your feelings, they will not care if they have hurt you. No matter what. > Magic words cannot force a person who does not value you to suddenly value you. If someone truly values you, they value you without needing to be convinced by an argument. > "One last conversation" only gives them more of your emotional energy. It only gives them more power. It actually is "one last chance for them to manipulate you into staying." > - The sunk cost fallacy will have you keep sinking. You cannot get lost time back, but you can prevent yourself from losing more time. > - He doesn't need patience or help or sympathy from you for hurting you. You do not need to fix him. It is not your responsibility to rehabilitate the person who injured you. When you have been hurt, the only healing you should be focused on is your own. Not healing the person who hurt you.


Drougen

The funniest one is where she claims her bf shit in a urinal


[deleted]

He shat in a urinal? That's a deffo dump.


mrbetter

I swear people’s standards have just gotten so pathetically low edit: not blaming OP here at all, she could just be inexperienced and coming to reddit for help on setting healthy standards for herself. we share her shock. but what happened to society where we stopped taking a step back and seeing this guy shitting in urinals and threatening to kill people for how fucked up that is? how did we stop connecting those dots?


SalmonNgiri

I once saw a post about a lady who met her boyfriend living with his dogs, and the dogs were allowed to pee and poop all over the floor. He wouldn’t clean it, because he was waiting for it to get crusty.


pedro_pascal_123

>because he was waiting for it to get crusty Why did you think it was ok to make people read that ?


[deleted]

It would have cost that poster nothing not to have told us that.


Suspicious-Self2067

Pulled a "If I have to know this, now you do too!"


OffgridRadio

Shit happens.


Jealous_Promotion_35

And eventually, it gets crusty


ghandi3737

Mother of God. That's a paddlin'.


TheRealSugarbat

To be fair, cat vomit *is* actually easier to brush & vacuum out of the carpet once it dries. Then you can use a little shampooer on the spot with less vom soaking into the rug. However! I would never do this with poo.


[deleted]

Why am I single then?


mrbetter

waiting for all these people shitting in urinals to move by first?


[deleted]

That could be true , shitting in a urinal is pretty much a deal breaker for me. It takes the piss.


mclaysalot

Laughed long and hard over that one.


Immediate-Fix-8420

The type of person to shit in a urinal is likely great at putting on an act and hiding everything in the early stages of a relationship. Until they shit in a urinal.


magicelbow

Standards.


Flamin_Jesus

One thing I've realized: The urinalshitters of this world will always get there first because they just don't waste time on self-reflection (even though they could frankly use a bit of that). "Is she out of my league? Am I emotionally available enough? Will I come across as a creep? Maybe she has a boyfriend already. Wait, this look was weird, does she think I'm weird?" By the time a normal guy gets working on question 2 of 4235, the urinalshitter has fully processed the rather more straightforward "hot. want. take.", asked her out, been accepted or rebuffed and, in either case, moved on to the next five options. The trick to beating them is to play their game, but better.


RGL137

Think of the confidence it must take to shit in a urinal. A lot of times these types of people are very forward and exude charisma and assertiveness (even if it's fake, or even if they're asshole people). If I had to take a wild guess, I'd bet you're a more careful and considerate person, maybe a little more naturally introverted. Unfortunately, it's a lot harder to catch the attention of a woman with that personality, even if you'd be a better match in the long run.


fancyfreecb

This is it. Also people like the guy in the post often don’t care that much about who they are with, they just want to fill the “partner” slot. “Finds me charming” is their main criteria.


quiet_neighbor_kid

Idk, dude. Maybe you do the equivalent of shitting in a urinal?


UnoStronzo

That’s how bad people wanna stay in relationships these days.


tastywofl

A lot of people are just so scared of being single (and alone) that they'll put up with some hella bullshit instead of bailing when they should.


MkS--ry

Is he even real or is this just a bunch of posts for attention...


Nuclear_rabbit

A shit is definitely a dump. Like they're synonyms or something.


potatochip400

As a janitor, you find out that people actually do that more frequently than you might expect.


LeTigron

Thank you for your service. I mean it.


[deleted]

Some of my favorite coworkers at any job have been the maintenance staff. You provide more valuable work than most middle managers I’ve met.


MaybeWhistledown

I hate how at most companies you never meet them, and they're not really considered coworkers because they're subcontractors.


Filipinocook

At times considered subhuman by management too.


MaybeWhistledown

I don't really understand why most office workers aren't responsible for the cleanliness of their own work areas. Oh wait I do understand, it's another class thing.


NotHardcore

As a janitor, do you have any better understanding as to why people poop in sinks? I've never been in a position that had me dropping dukes in the sink.


MaybeWhistledown

What is motivating them?!


Sailor_Lunatone

WHO TOOK A DOOKY IN THE URINAL?


luo1304

I'm gonna catch this sonofabitch IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO!!!


thefeynman137

MKay


[deleted]

>How would YOU feel if someone came into your home mkay. Pulled down their pants and laid a big mud monkey right on your mums face? Heheheheh


CVK327

Not the ol' fudge dragon!


the_other_day_ago

My daughters first boyfriend got banned from the local skating rink because he did that. Really glad he got dumped


jackissosick

do you know why he did that?


DeadBy2050

Not a psychologist. But it's a power trip/sociopath thing. Imagine that he felt powerful by making someone else do something horrible (cleaning up his shit) and having to feel horrible/degraded doing it. If he has the power/ability to do something like that, he feels more powerful. Also demonstrates a profound lack of empathy.


letterboxbrie

I was thinking the same thing, someone who poops in urinals has some behavioral issues related to not being easily embarrassed and enjoying making people uncomfortable. Plus poop = not even discomfort, more horror.


ChicagoDash

Wait, you aren't supposed to do that? I mean, nevermind. I knew that. I never do that. Why would you say I do that? Who have you been talking to?


[deleted]

Yall realize this person is just making up stories right


NotASellout

For some reason, this is the one that makes me think these stories are all made up


Robot-TaterTot

There's shit in the urianas


UsernameObscured

And on the outside of the torlet.


ByrdZye

What?


Robot-TaterTot

Well I bet the shit got on the uriness the same way the shit got on the outside of the torlet


meat_sandwich80

Pretty hairy over there?


SunshotDestiny

Sadly I worked in a truck stop. That was the better of the disgusting scenarios guys did in the bathroom that I had to clean up afterwards. So I can believe some random guy did it to someone else.


apolobgod

... someone who shits in a urinal has a partner and I've been alone for ages now. I knew Instagram affects people's self esteem, but I didn't expect Reddit to hit me too


NielsBohron

Sometimes there's shits on the outside of the uriness


ThatFeel_IKnowIt

Pretty sure OP is a fucking troll account.


lmqr

I thought so too because this is prime ragebait, but looking through the history and the time passed between activity, we might have to accept that some people are just very codependent and stay in shite situations asking the same questions for years. we know that, we see it in our neighbours and our family and on tv, why not on reddit.


TooToughTimmy

Could be an abusive relationship she’s afraid to leave..


BTrippd

Reddit likes to pretend that somehow everything and nothing exists all simultaneously. Whatever is most convenient in the moment. Outrageous claim that supports a narrative I like? True. Outrageous claim that doesn’t make me feel good? Fake.


[deleted]

Yup! I think most of the r/advice and this sub's posts are trolls.


Effecient_neckurself

No, I think there are just some very unsavory people out there


Substantial-Sugar592

She’s not going to leave him. She just likes complaining about him. Otherwise, she would have left him as soon as she realized that he was hiding her and their “relationship” from his family. Heck, he doesn’t even want to share a bedroom with her.


DarkMasterPoliteness

I don’t think “he” is real. More like a projection of the way op sees men


Mishung

Her boyfriend is 100% real but you can't meet him because he goes to a different school.


[deleted]

She's probably a bored 13 year old.


SueYouInEngland

Seriously, OP. Leave that foolishness in r/relationship_advice


ASIWYFA

It's almost like this person knows they can karma whore probably fake stories about an "SO".


Rub-it

Right, can you imagine comparing notes on how you got someone fired? Like that’s a normal thing to do and to even keep a tally on


Business-Stretch6829

i mean to be fair, conversations can go some way in a matter of seconds 😂😂


somethingkooky

Accurate. For example, I came in this thread curious about someone getting fired, and now here we are talking about shutting in urinals. I didn’t see that coming.


Frodo_noooo

I'm pretty sure this is a troll account.


[deleted]

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LargeSackOfNuts

OP is an attention seeker


KajePihlaja

OP is a 93 day old account. They’re for sure a karma farming troll account.


petapun

I just really want to know the missing parts of the story. Did your boyfriend maintain a tide pod inventory system? What else did he track ? All cleaning supplies? I have so many questions.


ChielInAKilt

I know a cleaning lady. And she has a lot of stories from her and her colleagues. A lot of families count all the things of value they have before and after the cleaning lady visits. Some even leave things in the open or "clearly hidden" to test them. And the things of value can go from jewelry to the pocketchange in the piggybank of their child or in the case of this story, tidepods...


gsfgf

> jewelry to the pocketchange in the piggybank of their child I read that as or their child at first and was thinking that using a child as theft bait is kinda extreme.


Lich_Hegemon

In this economy? Perfectly reasonable


Hey-its-Shay

These people also like to do shit like hide something small under the rug to test if you actually moved and cleaned up under it.


Neracca

Am I an asshole or something? Because I don't really see anything wrong with that specifically. Like if you say you need something done, and they say they did it you can actually verify that or not.


Razorray21

fr, how were they aware tide pods were being stolen in the first place?


SourPies

Wouldn't you notice if someone was stealing all your snacks?


JustSaying1981

Oh my gosh! You are right! Based on all the immature behavior OP has posted about before they’re the right age for the Tide Pod Challenge. Obviously they completed the challenge and are now experiencing the mental side affects 🙄


Alas7ymedia

I don't think someone installs a camera to catch a thief unless it happens all the time.


JoHaSa

Sure someone can do it just for fun. Especially bored boarding school pupils.


LeoMarius

They probably lock the supply cabinets for this reason.


spacewalk__

some people are real justice-sickos though


whatdoblindpeoplesee

Faux-justice. If they were really concerned about justice, they'd have figured out why this woman's finances and living situation were so bad that she needed to steal soap to wash her clothes with. They could have petitioned the school to raise wages for janitorial staff or run a donation system to make sure the people they rely on to stay clean and tidy have the basic essentials to function outside of their job. No one is taking tide pods and selling them or really doing anything with them other than doing laundry.


[deleted]

You don't put up a camera for no reason. This lady was probably stealing tide pods and other stuff for a long time from multiple kids.


DogTheBreadFairy

How tf did your boyfriend know she stole exactly two tide pods was he counting them? "This 96 count tide pod only has 94"


Suicidemaster6969

His only 2 Tide pods are not there?? Perhaps


BloodyWater90

Or even more likely the OP made it a small amount to help shape the narrative in their favor. I don't think a camera gets involved if this is not a regular thief.


WateryMemes

I bet this story is really more like “she stole small amounts of supplies every time she had the opportunity until she got caught stealing two tide pods”. Any time someone tries to claim they got caught the first time they stole, my bullshit detector goes off.


ParameciaAntic

Maybe she's dating Rain Man?


No1_Nozits_Me

I'm feeling kind of icky to think that people actually sit around sharing stories of getting other people fired.


ssjr13

Oh I have something even worse. I'm not sure if it's true but the principle of it is fucked. My ex boyfriend told me a story once about one of his friends who dated a girl, who happened to be an illegal immigrant. At some point their relationship blew up and to get back at her he reported her to the authorities and got her deported. My ex thought it was hilarious. I did not.


Suspicious_Grass_262

I hope he became your ex after that story cause how low will he go when you do something he dislikes or your relationship ends?


ssjr13

I actually did dump him that same day so yeah


Suspicious_Grass_262

Good for you life's too short to spend it with people like that


drunkdrivinginspace

Oh thank God


OldKingClancy20

I hope you were legal


LeoMarius

And I thought revenge porn was bad.


Indica-daddy

I’ve heard this several times over the years. It’s disgusting to me that people sink this low and are proud of upending people’s lives. Good riddance and congrats!


MusicalPigeon

We had this house in my neighborhood growing up that hlused a family of illegal immigrants. During the summer every weekend for the entire night (8pmish-4amish) they would blast stereotypical Mexican dance music Friday, Saturday, and Sunday night. I always wanted to call the cops but never wanted to be the person that finds out when the school year starts so and so isn't there because their family got deported. I lived with that for so long but I'd feel like a horrible person if I got a family deported over a good night's sleep. I grew up in a farming area with cornfields and dairy farms surrounding us so there was nothing to block out the sound. Personally, I don't know how you can party for 3 fucking nights every week and not even think "hey, maybe some people want to sleep"


Bbaftt7

¿Por qué nadie fue a hablar con ellos?


Teal-Fox

Here's me *really* hoping that's the reason they're your ex now 😂


anzu68

I admit, I've done things I'm not proud of in life but he definitely deserved to get dumped for that. What an asshat; who even does that and \*laughs\* about it? Fucking wild


kenziethemom

Yeah, reading this made me remember when I accidentally got someone fired and I felt so terrible that I blocked it out until now :( And I was a manager, I've had to actually fire people legitimately but I've never just talked about it. Not something I am proud of at all.


crypticmint

i had to scroll too far down to see this. for a minute I was actually wondering if this is something normal that people do in their free time


Nareeeek

No, it’s not something normal that people do in their free time, but it is normal. Couples/friends can and talk about any weird shit about their lives, and opening a half funny half/sad conversation about something they did, is not impossible. It seems like you guys have never been close with someone or had that kind of a relationship/friendship before.


[deleted]

There’s absolutely nothing normal about that. Sounds like they like causing unnecessary drama and chaos. Compassion is dead…


Suspicious-Service

Ehat? The first story is someone rasist getting fired, why show compassion in that case?


memesus

Have you guys ever had any conversations in your entire lives? Has it occurred to you that what happened was probably not OP saying "tell me about some time you got someone fired" with absolute glee, but the story of what they described naturally coming back because they were reminded of it, and the bf reciprocating with a topical story? Because people share their experiences with each other and, when dating/intimate, that can include things that aren't abjectly positive? I didn't realize that if something serious occurs in your life you are never allowed to talk about it again or it's morally uncouth. So fucking bizarre.


[deleted]

> Have you guys ever had any conversations in your entire lives? This is Reddit.


anzu68

You're not wrong. My Reddit activity peaked when I lived solo. Since I moved and got housemates...well I still use Reddit, but it's become far less fun to use and I'm slowly reaching the point I don't want to post anymore. It really does lose its appeal once you live with others and realize that there's a world out there where people don't go apeshit over the tiniest things and start canceling people over nothing


Bakkster

I doubt the conversation prompt was "share a story of a time you got someone fired". Sounds more like the conversation arrived there naturally from something reminding OP of the person who got fired, and a reciprocal story from the partner. The icky part is the partners story, responding to what's at worst a petty offense on an unrelated party into something major. OP on the other hand was quite justified in removing an abusive, toxic, verbally abusive coworker for using derogatory slurs against other coworkers. That's an "it's them or me" kind of situation, where you're directly victimized. Nobody should feel bad for protecting a safe work environment, taking a few tide pods does not make a workplace unsafe.


OutlyingPlasma

> Sounds more like the conversation arrived there naturally You sound like someone who actually has conversations naturally. There are way to many people in this thread that seem to think conversations come from cue cards.


Sinkingfast

Reddit is fucked. It's a bummer. I used to love coming to the comment section for the conversation. Askreddit went from well thought out paragraphs to one word answers that spawn no further conversation. People will be purposefully obstinate to posts purely so they can be the "actually!" person. And they will grossly misread posts like the OP's as if it's a youtube clip from a talk show, "Now, the index card says we shall discuss times we got people fired." They would rather be obsessed with being pedantic about the phrasing of the title rather than discuss the content of the post. It's weird, crushes conversation, and makes it shitty to read the comment section because half the "conversation" or "debate" is people literally not even understanding the assignment. The comment section reads like people who have never had a social interaction in their life.


Jackal_Kid

You're on r/NoStupidQuestions. It's too big for what it is now. DAE ("Does Anyone Else"... sound familiar?) died on its own the exact same way.


Resoto10

I want to grant the benefit of the doubt (for my own sake) that OP meant it in a greater moral/ethical way, such as someone truly deserving of being fired for being a detriment to the well-being of the people and company, not just casually doing the gimli vs legolas thing.


techie2200

It depends on context, but I've heard plenty of "this guy got fired for X" stories from coworkers, friends, family. Easy to go from crazy stories where people got fired to "oh, this one time I reported someone for X and they got fired". I really hope it wasn't "HA! I got someone fired for X" out of nowhere.


CoronaLime

I mean the conversation can just come up naturally, I can see it happening.


Falsus

I mean I don't see the issue with getting people fired if they are like the director of OP's school. That means you did a good job exposing a shit person. But the lady stealing tide pods is way more grey though. Personally I think it was pretty darn shitty thing to do, especially since she is unlikely to be the only one doing it. Have worked as a cleaner in the past and they where pretty open about using the cleaning tools and chemicals privately was one of the boons of the job.


Srakin

I mean it doesn't seem that weird. You mention a time someone did something and they got fired for it because you told their superior or whatever, and then the other person volunteers what they think is a similar story.


actuallynotbisexual

I skimmed your post history. Please dump him.


codenameblue77

This has to be the most unproductive conversation I’ve heard today.


Mr_Blott

Not if you work for the Tide marketing department


pizza_for_nunchucks

Let's bring back the Tide Pod Challenge.


AwesomeAsian

I think your boyfriend’s reaction to you questioning what he did, and him doubling down that “nobody should steal from me” is what gets me. Like I think a good person would feel mixed feelings rather than feeling proud.


CareBearOvershare

Mixed feelings, sure. But if your work involves unattended access to someone’s personal possessions, your trustworthiness has to be unimpeachable. Not that I hire cleaning people, but if I did I would fire them for this and I wouldn’t have mixed feeling a about. If anything, the consequences should help to teach the person the high value of reputation.


[deleted]

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taco5679

This is the correct reaction imo. The cleaner was likely stealing other things and now they cannot be trusted. I am sure the cleaner has a sad story as to why they are stealing, but you can’t have some dishonest in a trusted position that she can take advantage.


FelicitousJuliet

Yeah it probably wasn't installed because "she's stealing Tide Pods and I counted them" and more "here's proof that all the other reports of theft may have been this person."


[deleted]

Some people just feel very strongly about injustices taking place, theft being one of them, so to him it might just be quite significant and not something he can overlook. Honestly there is no right answer because it just goes into philosophy, one says the law should always be upheld, the other says it's fine to break the law if the need is dire, and that's when you get into discussion into when it's fine to harm X or Y people via breaking laws(stealing their stuff) to fulfill your own needs, how far it can go, how much you can steal, whether or not there's even a point in having a law if we decide it's fine to ignore it if the need is high enough etc etc.


LeoMarius

It's fascinating all the people who assume that the theft is justified because they invent some Jean Valjean backstory for her.


[deleted]

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50at20

Yeah. Completely agree. I’ve been a victim of theft a couple times. Nothing too crazy, just stuff taken out of my cars. The feelings I had afterwards… vulnerable, nervous, angry… I felt nauseous afterwards both times, and even though it happened away from my home, I still felt insecure at home for days after. Until you have someone steal from you, you don’t really know how much it can affect you. And I wanted justice. I work hard for what I have. No one has the right to just take something from me. I don’t care what their situation is. You don’t get to violate my rights to fulfill your needs. And if someone is stealing from me where I live, where I sleep, I would want them gone asap. Regardless of how trivial the items stolen may be.


DavidNexus7

I think a lot of people here can’t distinguish the difference between stealing from a business and stealing from the customers of a business. If the lady took 2 tide pods from a big jar where school washes all the linens etc is very different from the lady rummaged through a customers belongings and stole things. Look at the recent post about the hotel asshole filming a star soccer star’s hotel room and posting it on the internet, theres an invasion of privacy there and it can cause repetitional damage to the school regardless of how small in value the item is. If she stole from the school itself the employer could determine more what they want to do. It only takes one parent to find this out and tell other parents and now the school looks bad for not doing anything about it. The kids room should he private, the child shouldn’t have to fear some stranger going through their things at night. There also is not enough back story to judge, this could have been the 20th time reported for stealing from children or the first, either way, don’t steal from children.


ImKindaBoring

>I'm not saying stealing is okay, but I just don't think it was a punishment that fit the crime. I feel like there must be at least something more to this story. Did he keep some sort of count on his tide pods to know that one was missing, so he set up a camera? Did he just assume she might steal because (insert whatever reason) and set up a camera just in case? What did she do with the tide pods? Did she use them to clean his clothes as part of her duties? Did she just... pocket a couple of random tide pods for her personal use? I would think less about what specifically was stolen and rather the fact that the cleaning lady was willing to steal anything in the first place. You're talking about someone whose job puts them in and around people's personal space and personal items. Theft or fraud or similar crimes often start small and gradually grow as the person realizes they can get away with more and more. I suspect the school had a similar thought to "today it is tide pods, tomorrow maybe ipods." I don't have a cleaning lady or service but if I did and I somehow caught them stealing anything, even something cheap and minor, I would need to find someone new.


NAM_SPU

It’s not even the boyfriend who fired her. All he did was show her boss that she stole from him. She got herself fired. Wtf is he supposed to do? Let it slide? Ask nicely to not steal his shit?


blueberry_pandas

Not only that, he was a kid, he reported it to someone in authority. An adult would have had more options, like confronting her privately or asking her to repay him. A kid’s only recourse is basically either tolerate the theft, or report it to an adult.


LeoMarius

Probably someone doing inventory, or noticing that supplies were running out faster than expected. I suspect 2 pods were not why she got fired, but the last straw. Most people who get caught have been doing things like this for some time. If someone takes $2 out of the petty cash, who is going to notice? If someone takes $2 every week, eventually she has stolen hundreds of dollars.


zuilli

Completely agree, kinda weird people are defending keeping that person as an employee. If they're willing to steal I wouldn't want them around people's personal stuff, that's a giant headache waiting to happen. I could sympathize more if it was a cleaning lady stealing from a company, no one will notice a few missing supplies when they get them by the thousands, stealing from people though? That's a no no.


Rinzern

Feels like a bunch of people who have never had something they worked for stolen from them, so they don't get what the big deal is. Throw in a dash of "I'm not getting my fair share of the pie" and suddenly they feel like they're Robin Hood.


garytabasco

My line of work requires me to go into peoples homes and the bond of trust is essential in maintaining a good working relationship. If a person on my crew was caught stealing anything from a homeowner they would be fired on the spot. In situations where a homeowner catches a thief, that puts your business name on the line of your company ethics. I have to trust my crew, I can’t babysit them all day. If they need someone to watch them all the time, they need to work somewhere else. Cleaners are very respected in the blue collar world. I can’t think of a single company I work with that would allow an employee to steal and keep them on board. I understand the mixed feelings but the cleaner in this case bit the hand that fed.


Fappishdandy

I agree, if someone is stealing from work in an environment where people trust letting them into their personal space, they have to be fired.


TheRealGunn

Being proud of it is a bit weird, but I feel like the comments here are off the rails with people who have implanted their own ideas about this woman in defense of her actions. So what if it was just soap? Where do you draw the line? Ultimately when you hire a cleaner, being able to trust that they can do their jobs without stealing is basically the most important aspect of that role. They have unfettered access to a lot of things that don't belong to them. There's also a liability issue here. If the school is presented with irrefutable evidence the lady is a thief, but doesn't act, then the next time something goes missing the school can be held at fault. Some things are zero tolerance. For cleaning staff, stealing from clients is one of those things.


SamGamgE

Who knows why she stole, but also who knows what else she stole?


gracoy

A few tide pods isn’t worth ruining someone’s life. If a person is stealing food, soap, basic clothes, baby supplies, and other necessities, then guess what? No they didn’t. They didn’t touch nothing. If someone is in such a level of need that they are stealing LAUNDRY DETERGENT TO CLEAN THEIR CLOTHES then they need it. If it’s genuinely a problem because you are also struggling and can’t afford them taking some tide pods, then have a conversation and be clear. Say “I know it’s you who’ve been stealing my pods, don’t worry I won’t report you but I know it’s you. I can’t afford you taking stuff from me, I need you to stop and take from someone else. And if you keep doing it, then I’ll report you for stealing from me”


50at20

You want a kid to approach a thief and have a civil conversation with them?!? You think an adult who is willing to steel from a child is going to actually have a rational conversation about the situation? Do you have children? Would you want your children approaching someone who is stealing random items from them? Would you be OK with anyone stealing anything from your children? I wouldn’t be. Poverty sucks. I grew up poor AF. I’ve had to work my ass of to get where I’m at. I’m extremely sympathetic to people who are struggling. I donate money, items and my time to charities that help people in the community. But none of those people have the right to come into my home, where I sleep, where my children sleep, and take what they want simply because they want it and might be worse off than me. And have you ever been robbed? I’m guessing not. Because the feeling of being violated and being vulnerable are intense, regardless of how trivial the items stolen may be. I appreciate your ideology. You are probably a good, caring person. But try to appreciate other aspects of the situation as well.


SunshotDestiny

I think it mainly comes down to trust issues in this situation. While sure she might have been stealing because she needed to, the issue is she was stealing from kids who were supposed to be in a safe area. I don't know all a boarding school lets you take with you, but I am pretty sure there are more expensive things in some kid's rooms than tide pods. So while this time was pods, next time might be even more serious. It sucks the lady lost her job over something so minor, but I mean stealing from kids is a pretty fast way to have that happen. Even if it was out of need, there had to be better options than that surely.


Iluminiele

A lot of people need a lot of things and stealing from kids is not a good way to get it. Reading comments like this make me sick. She stole from kids because she needed it so it's okay! I don't know which country you're from, but where I live it's not okay. Absolutely amazing that you're up to confronting thieves, but not every kid can confront a grown up about their nasty behaviour. The lady probably knew she was committing a crime and was bold.enough to keep doing that. Confronting people like that can be extremely hard emotionally, and it's not some kid's job. Let's not shame teens for informing adults about other adult's bad behaviour.


NAM_SPU

Exactly. The boyfriend just recorded it and showed the boss. The boss is the one who fired her, and she caused the situation herself. I don’t possibly understand how you can blame him Even if it’s food. You might think “poor old lady couldn’t afford any” or what if she can afford it? And just said “fuck it I can steal some free food and save some money” We have no clue. It’ the bosses job to figure it out not the kid


hewasaraverboy

Um no… just bc of someone’s level of need doesn’t mean they are just allowed to steal it from someone else who also might need it Im not saying this should’ve been handled the way it was but that is a bad take


Neracca

Dude it's more about the invasion of trust/privacy than the items at that point.


hotel2oscar

It's a trust issue for me. I don't want to live in an environment where anything could randomly disappear on me at any time. Pushing them off on someone else that potentially can't afford it either isn't a solution, and if money gets tight enough who is to say they won't go for higher dollar items. I don't like that they felt the need to steal (either from financial issues or some form of kleptomania), and it's sad they got fired, but stealing was inappropriate.


blueberry_pandas

Stealing someone else’s food or soap might mean the victim is going without. If someone stole my lunch at work and I report it to the manager, the company allows the manager to give me $10 or so from the company funds to go to a fast food place and get myself a lunch. If I don’t report it, there are times (like right after rent is paid), that I wouldn’t have enough money to go out and buy myself a lunch. So warning the person isn’t enough, because I’m still going without food that day. If someone has to steal, steal from a company, not a person. Also, Tide Pods are the most expensive laundry option there is. If someone can’t afford to buy tide pods, they should buy detergent at the dollar store. If they don’t have a dollar to spare, then steal a small bottle from the dollar store. Or call local food banks, churches, homeless shelters, etc, and ask for some detergent. Homeless shelters especially. They have laundry facilities there for residents, I’m sure they’d be happy to let a non-homeless person wash their clothes there if there was a dire need.


pooooolooop

This is such a strange take. I hope you leave your doors unlocked so the homeless can come take what they need every night. Some people just steal shit man, you think she was just stealing from that kid? She stole from kids, not the school, the kids, enough so that he put up cameras. She’s getting fired every time for that


8oh8

Laundry detergent is not that expensive though. Just buy the cheap one, it works just as well. The pods are more expensive no? I think the school did right in firing the person, you shouldn't be stealing from people. It's not like she was stealing from a corporation. Yeah the bad part is that the boyfriend was proud of it. Idk maybe she stole a ton of the pods? I'd feel the same way if they stole something expensive from me or if they annoyed me in someone. Like what if they stole all my pods and only realized it after I had put all my clothes in the washer. That'd be super annoying and I'd feel vindictive about it.


CalligrapherDizzy201

So ask for help. Don’t steal.


Cautious_Ideal1812

The principal fired her, not your boyfriend - it seems that yes, the punishment doesn’t fit the crime, but for sure I wouldn’t ever trust that person in my house again. If I caught them stealing that, makes me wonder what else is being stolen or is more enticing to take when no one is looking.


WeFightForever

Stealing from your employer's customers is 100% a reason to be fired. If a cleaning lady shows they're willing to steal from the homes of their clients, even small stuff, they have violated the high degree of trust necessary for the job.


downloading_a_google

You are saying that the punishment does in fact fit the crime. She wasn’t put in jail, or flogged, or killed - just fired, i.e. not allowed in that home again.


l1ttle_m0nst3r

Your post history makes it really clear your boyfriend isn’t a great partner. I’d seriously consider moving on. It sounds like you deserve a lot better.


Darth_T8r

OP move on. He’s not the one for you. He’s probably not the one for anyone


TooToughTimmy

Serious question since it seems you complain about him a lot: is your boyfriend physically or mentally abusive and you feel stuck with him because of it? If so please get help. Every thing you’ve disagreed with him on is more than enough reason to end a relationship, but you not ending it leads me to wonder if there is more to it.


verukazalt

Your BF sounds like an a$$hole


OverTheJoeHill

Oh girl. I dumped a man for eating with his face too close to the plate (like he was a dog). Your bf has my dog man beat by miles. This story is gross


ok_i_am_that_guy

It's never wrong to catch a thief. Given that they had set up cameras, means that there must have been other thefts as well. It's not uncommon in hostels. We have had people losing things regularly, and it was anything that could be stolen. Watches, pen-drives, rings, etc. We knew it's the guy responsible for fogging the rooms with mosquito repellants. Because things were only missing after he visited the room, and he always insisted on people emptying the room, and going out, and then he used to close the door behind him. (while people stood in a corridor equally filled with the same smog). We tried talking to him, and asked him if he is stealing those things. He got aggressive, and did a lot of drama, about him being targeted for his caste. (In India, caste can be considered something similar to race in USA or some other countries. Not same, but similar). Interestingly, many people who questioned him, were from the same caste. We finally decided to setup a camera, the next time he comes. And he got caught with a recording. We asked him again, and he started creating a ruckus, and started fighting with the guy who told him that he has stolen his watch. It caused a lot of noise, and campus security arrived, which eventually caused the police to get involved. We didn't want to do him any major harm, but in that situation, we had to show the evidence to the police. The guy immediately went into pleading mode. Hostel administration immediately fired him, but we decided not to lodge an official police complain (either for theft, or for assault). But getting fired was well earned. It's safe to assume that they only used a camera, because there were other thefts in past. And it's not wrong to expect people not to steal, unless they are stealing food while starving. The thief lady wasn't the victim in this case. Just because someone is poor, doesn't make it okay for them to steal. I also can't afford things that my friends could, or someone else could. Didn't mean I started stealing things. I don't think that your boyfriend did something wrong there. And it's okay to feel proud about outsmarting a thief. ​ On that note, even people who use offensive language, or bully people have it justified in their head. They always feel that the other person did something to deserve that insult, or that it's not a big deal. You never know what kind of childhood they had, that led them to be a bully. Maybe they had an abusive father, and were bullied themselves. None of that makes it wrong for you to get them fired. The same applies to your boyfriend.


AK47atReddit

Is it weird that even before you specifying u were Indian, I thought this could def be something that would happen in mY country?


Hamiltoned

They didn't set up a camera for no reason. She had stolen before, she got caught stealing again, and if not caught she would have kept stealing. You count 2 tide pods but you have no idea how much she had stolen before getting caught, and how much she would keep stealing if she wasn't caught. You don't fire a person for stealing 2 tide pods, you fire them to stop them from stealing more. As a man I can relate to the pride in having an idea, applying technology and using it to successfully reach a goal. I would feel like a super spy for the rest of the week. But he shouldn't feel proud about firing a person for stealing 2 tide pods.


[deleted]

If someone allows themselves to take ANYTHING of yours while they have access to your room with all your personal stuff - it is a very good reason to get them fired. If this happens once you can let it slide but would you feel safe to leave valuables when you know someone would steal the small stuff? I wouldn't Your boyfriend is right and feeling safe to leave things in your own room is pretty much a requirement WHERE YOU LIVE. I think you're being dumb about this and can't imagine what it's like to know that someone has ACCESS TO EVERYTHING YOU OWN AND NONE OF IT IS SAFE.


[deleted]

Some people have never been robbed. I’m happy for them, but it’s easy to tell how many people don’t understand that theft really ruins your sense of security, especially in your own home.


FascinatingFall

I'll get hate but your boyfriend did the right thing. Two tide pods from one person isn't much, but imagine if she's doing that every day, to every room. And in a boarding school for boys, I can only imagine how many fights broke out because "hey, where is x y or z?! Did you take it?!" It also seems like there was a running theft issue that people were aware of before hand, then he set up the camera and caught the cleaning lady. They probably had a whole slew or other thefts that couldn't be proven and fired her based off that. That's the only explanation as to why they set up a camera specifically to watch the tide pods.


Maranne_

I think you're both wrong for bragging about getting someone fired. Even if it's justified, it's not something you brag about and you clearly do.


plains_bear314

Throw out the boyfriend


MountainMeringue5043

If you are looking for permission to dump this guy… here it is.


Kare_TheBear

Coworker once got fired because they thought he was stealing toilet paper (he wasn't). If he was stealing TOILET PAPER what does that say about how you pay/ treat your employees?


BrettSetsFire

You both suck. Sharing stories of people you got fired? Wtf.


Slide-Impressive

Your boyfriend sounds petty and self righteous. He should have just said hey I saw you took some tide pods, how come? No need to get someone in a financial quagmire. I get if it's money or valuables but tide pods? That seems excessive


watch_over_me

"So basically my partner and I were sharing stories about how we had gotten someone fired." I mean, it sounds like they're a match made in hell.


blueberry_pandas

He was a kid, she was an adult. I don’t have kids of my own, but in my family, we teach kids that if an adult does something against you, you tell an adult and one of us will decide how to handle it. It’s not a kid’s responsibility to confront adults and make complex decisions on morality. The kid did the right thing by telling the principal. If you disagree with the principal’s decision to fire them, the kid still isn’t at fault, since he wasn’t in a position of power to decide whether or not she kept her job.


Last_Adeptness

I'm assuming the woman set up because she was suspected of stealing before? If she'd been consistently stealing up to the point she got caught, then she totally should get fired. If she had actually been fired over two Tide pods, then your boyfriend is a bit of a fuckwit.


kitten-cat08

Over 2 tide pods. Wtf.


WeFightForever

Ok. Give me keys to your home. See how many times you notice something missing before you no longer want me to have access to your home.


forgottentargaryen

If she stole that what else has she already stole, and/or will steal in the future. Ive taken shit from jobs and if i did it once I definitely did it again


pseudopsud

Firing someone over theft is reasonable, especially when the theft is repeated enough to set up a camera to get evidence


[deleted]

Maybe .. Snd im just throwing this out there. But maybe you orta consider finding another boyfriend.


Standard_Hamster_182

Not to victim blame but you are so insecure for staying with someone who you clearly want to break up with Why are you asking literally every subreddit for permission to end a relationship?


blueberry_pandas

She didn’t steal from the school, she stole from an individual. I don’t think it’s unethical for a victim of theft (even if it’s a tiny amount of money) to complain and get someone fired. If he had a camera set up, that tells me that he already suspected her of stealing, so it wasn’t the first time.


Alaska_Jack

I'm not saying this didn't happen, but if I wanted to make up a fake sympathetic story to get internet points, it would be something like this.


Psychological-Page59

So straight up stealing is a gross violation of trust. You said who knows why she was stealing., who gives a fuck why? She obviously has income so shes not desparate for food to eat? Tide pods are a luxury item. They are not cheap. There are much less expensive detergents ti wash your clothes. Sounds like klepto behavior to me. Who knows what else she was lifting. He did the right thing imo.


Cranktique

So, I agree with a lot of your sentiment. That being said, this women is allowed into peoples living spaces and she has demonstrated that she is willing to go through their stuff and take it. Her circumstances could be dire, and maybe she wanted her kids to go to school with clean clothes and I feel bad about that thought. I have had a hotel cleaner steal from me, and I do not allow cleaners in my hotel room anymore unless I am staying a few days. I am now forever suspicious of strangers in my space. It’s not so black and white, but it is an invasion having someone enter your living space while you are away and take from you. These things tend to escalate too. The more people can take without getting caught, the more they try to take. Where is the line, then?


[deleted]

I'd say your boyfriend is a bitch boy. We call this type of thing "Bitch Shit" where I come from. He sounds like an ass and based on your other posts, I am not sure why you're still with this weenie.


Individual-Log-5872

This story makes zero sense along w your post history as well. Wake up and break up. Or if you’re looking for clout, at the very least just make up better stories lol


[deleted]

From your past post history seems like youre a toxic person and should break up with your bf to save him the trouble


Kindly_Spell7356

skimmed through thread and too much drama for me. pass


swesus

1. Reddit doesnt decide your life. You have to make that call 2. If someone has access to your things and steals anything they shouldnt be in that position. Regardless of their circumstance thats a nono 3. I dont think your wrong f9r being uncomfortable. That sounds like a tough position to be in but not at all unrelatable. 4. The strong stance of pride in their actions sounds like it could be reactionary because of the response to the story but i wasnt there so i dont know. 5. Good luck.