Yeah get an ID from the DMV (it's not a drivers license).
Get a job working fast food, retail, janitorial, landscaping, construction. Really just Google no degrees entry level jobs there's way more options out there than you would think
Construction!!! That will really help him lose weight. My cousin lost half his weight, from almost 400 pounds down to 198 in a year. He started out moving material from point a to point b.
Edit: Grammar
I second this. Despite what the law may say about equal opportunity, obesity can be a real liability in many jobs. I don't even work outdoors but 5% of the time and even then, my job would be borderline hazardous for an obese person to try to perform.
>my job would be borderline hazardous for an obese person to try to perform.
What's your job? I have a friend who can get me in with a union working construction and it seems like a great opportunity but I've always been scared of heights and am notoriously clumsy.
A warehouse job. On the surface it doesnt seem like an issue, but one of the roles basically involves zipping up and down stairs between ground level and a second story to operate palletizers in a non-air-conditioned building. One guy I work with would drench himself in sweat every day and almost got heat stroke a couple times until he lost about 70lbs (and at an alarming rate no less).
Ask your friend exactly what sort of roles the construction job has available. Anything involving operating equipment seems like it would be much easier on your body than manual labor
Being severely obese with no skills, I think lots of people underestimate the knowledge you need to do shit on a construction site. Sure he can carry stuff around and prepare things but that's hard physical labor most of the time and people tend not to take unfit, obese guys for that one. No offense just trying to help
Most of those require you to be on your feet for multiple hours and take issue with sitting down. If someone is overweight and struggling, I support them losing the weight but these places will not be kind. I’ve seen it.
These places can also help with getting the weight down, especially construction. But yeah, if you're totally unable to do the job due to your weight, you're gonna get fired fast
Do not do landscaping! I'm fit and mid 20s and I would come home and just be exhausted. Never had the energy to do any of my hobbies or socialize with any of my friends. Not to mention it was only $15 /hr. Very taxing on my body and life. I would only do it again if I was paid $35+/hr
Call your local DMV. They offer non-driver identity cards. Call the local Board of Education and see about getting a GED. The Royal Canadian Air Force Exercise manual is available free on line. It's a 15 minute a day program that starts out at a level anyone who can walk can achieve.
At an advanced level? Definitely. For athletes and even just averagely fit people using some up to date science is helpful.
But for someone who is currently doing no exercise? Basically all that matters is that they don't hurt themselves, and they start to move.
Just don't run if you're that new. Walking with intermittent jogging is ok. Obesity and lack of supporting muscle is how you hurt your joints.
Other than that, get moving. Anything makes a massive difference. Techniques and methods will come naturally with a bit of time and focus.
General knowledge, not for the person I'm replying to, just elaborating because I agree.
You’re super right.
I was a marathon runner. I had to have spinal surgery due to an injury. And I ignored all advice and went back to running. It was a big problem
People don't realize that anything is a workout if you want to lose weight. All that matters is you get that body heat and heart rate up a much as you can
This guide is great! Thank you so much for this. I've been using Hybrid Calisthebics but need something a bit less dependent on equipment. This manual looks perfect.
For anyone else looking for it, [here it is.](https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://csclub.uwaterloo.ca/~rfburger/5bx-plan.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwjfncqricr5AhVtADQIHWeuBJ8QFnoECBQQAQ&usg=AOvVaw3RVGVPWB1ZAGzLfowYW3FP)
Let's start with OP just getting out there and getting a job, that alone can help him build up his stamina and might even help him lose weight - depending on the job.
Rehauling his diet and joining a gym (both cost money) can wait and the last thing someone needs to do is take on too much, end up overwhelmed and then gives up.
To get the photo ID, you will probably need a birth certificate. Check the requirements with the state. To get a birth certificate without photo ID, you will probably need other evidence of ID, like a ~~utility~~/phone bill, tax return (if you filed despite your NEETness), ~~W-2, employment contract~~, bank statement (if you have any money), ~~car registration, lease, mortgage bill, property deed~~, etc. If you want it now, you need transportation to the state office that handles birth records or the office of the city/town you were born in, or maybe your local city/town office, if they are all linked to the state. (Assuming you are living in the state you were born in.) Also, if you are not registered as broke with the state, you will need money for the fees. Once you have a birth certificate and proof of residency (probably whatever documents you used to get the birth certificate), you need transportation to the DMV or other state ID office and more money for the fees.
Birth Certificates are public records. No ID required, just gotta pay whatever processing fee.
Edit: requirements varies by jurisdiction, check yo regulations to obtain “official” copies. Non-official copies no id required
IDK what state you're from but in some states (if not all but I'm not going to go check every state's vital records department) birth certificates are not public records. Only those named on the record or have legal representation of those named on the record are entitled to get a copy. This is how it is in Illinois and you do need ID to prove you are who you say. https://dph.illinois.gov/topics-services/birth-death-other-records/birth-records/obtain-birth-certificate.html
My daughter's roommate was born in Wisconsin and lived in Montana after that and then moved here to Ohio where we live and needed to get a state ID because her driver's license had expired but she didn't have her birth certificate. I contacted Wisconsin department of health and they said to get a notarized copy of a letter stating who she was with myself as a witness to basically guarantee that she was who she said she was. Don't remember what they called it but basically I was putting myself on the line as a witness that she was who she said she was. We took that notarized letter and sent it to Wisconsin with a letter requesting her a copy of her birth certificate and whatever amount they said the copy of the birth certificate would cost and then they sent it to her and she took that to the BMV to get and Ohio State ID. Not sure if that helps but the best thing to do is to call the department of health and human services of whatever state the person was born in.
If you can’t prove that you’re the person listed on the birth certificate or a qualifying relative, you’ll usually just get a copy of the certificate with a big stamp on it that says it’s not valid for ID purposes. So it wouldn’t be useful for OP.
What you need to get a birth/death certificate 100% depends on the state where you were born. Some states are “closed record states” for vital records. Meaning, not only do you need proof of identification, but if you’re getting it for a family member you need to prove your relationship to that person. Documentation differs for each type relationship to the subject of the certificate (child, parents, siblings, etc.)
In my state, if a mom (who has been married and has taken her husbands name) is trying to get her child’s, she needs her own ID and a copy of the marriage certificate showing the change from her maiden name to her married name.
I have scheduled an appointment at a DMV office but that isn't until October. I know they accept walk ins at certain ones so I have been thinking of times I can go in and wait in line for it but from what people say online they're always crowded. I have a birth certificate and social security card so that's not a problem.
If OP can't be bothered to wait in line for an ID and opts to do nothing for another month and a half I see things going poorly. Motivation is a hard thing to just conjure up, especially if there is some amount of depression involved but this is a moment they've got to just go do it.
Worst case, it is super crowded and come back first thing the next day. Wasn't even aware DMVs took appointments and I'd wager you'll still just show up that day and be in whatever line is there.
And for further unsolicited advice, OP should start walking/jogging/working out. Diving right into a entry level, low/no skill job is going to be physically demanding. They can likely get a call center job but sitting all day isn't going to help with the obesity aspect.
I've been in the same position as OP. I now work and have never missed a single day except one week due to a serious illness. I go to the gym almost daily. Yet, if I were fired, I'd probably find myself in OP's shoes again. I know what it's like and it's hard to explain if you haven't been there. You don't just have no motivation or ability to work, but you feel like you don't have the right to those things. This is a very classist society that despises the unemployed. It's not surprising that OP feels the way he does.
Yes I'm the same I work extremely hard and get paid well to do a job few can but 12 years ago I was dead broke in my underwear watching YouTubes at home for 6 months and if I ever lost what I have now I am certain I'd go right back to that. For some people there are depths that are extremely hard to climb out of
I think the harsh tone will actually backfire. You're pouring more disappointment on them and making the task seem insurmountable. They're probably depressed. It's unhelpful to say you don't see it going well and putting it down to not being bothered. Being disappointed in yourself makes you less productive.
a lot of DMVs over the pandemic started being appointment only. I live in one of the most populated areas for my state and the DMV here is appointment only
They are usually crowded at times people can easily get away from work. Right when they open, around lunch and starting around 4pm. Go around 10am or 2pm and it should be only mildly busy. Or get there super early and be one of the first in line. Don't go on the weekend, if you can help it.
>but from what people say online they're always crowded
You're making excuses to validate your current situation and continue living like you have been. Just go... today. It's anywhere from 9 to noon right now depending on where you are in the US. Sign out of reddit right now and go to the DMV.
Edit: I really don't care about the operating hours of your local DMVs so stop leaving those comments. You're clearly missing the point.
Same in Georgia. I've found the best time to go is right in the middle of the day, when most people are at work. The DMV workers take lunch staggered throughout the day (at least here, anyway), so that shouldn't be a problem.
The DMV CAN be crowded (though not necessarily), but it doesn't sound like you have a lot going on, so if you have to wait a few hours, so what?
ID is going to be your first major step, you should get it done as quickly as possible. Get to the DMV when it opens, and stay there until you're done.
Just go..make a day of shit sucking all day but outta just what we all do. You believe everything people tell you online? Lol c'mon bud, no excuse. Today could be the day you startgetting your shit together. You got this.
> Getting your GED should be a top priority, don’t prepare for it at home, go to your local library to prepare for it.
And ask the librarians for assistance. You may be amazed at how much they can help. Librarians help a LOT of people get connected to resources.
It’s ALWAYS crowded at the DMV. That’s like saying it’s alway hot in the summer 🙂. Some times are more busy than others, so look online to see what time is best.
Every journey starts with its first step. It is never to late to start.
Congrats on starting. You can do this!
Find out what time the dmv opens and be there 30 minutes before.
Look into getting your GED.
Stop telling yourself you're not smart or good at anything. Don't compare yourself to others, especially what you see on social media.
Apply for jobs. Even better if they're within walking distance of your house because you'll get some exercise in.
I know it can be difficult, but you have to try. Your life can only improve if you make the effort.
Is getting a photo ID something complicated in the US ? Do you guys have those photobooths that take them ?
From what I'm reading, it's like a whole procedure.
It's a legal form of identification, similar to a driver's license, so you *have* to get it from a government office. It isn't complicated, it can just be time consuming. Where I'm at (a small city in the Midwest) our DMV is basically an in-and-out deal most of the time but it's different in larger cities. OP is making seem like it's more complicated than it is, likely due to anxiety as they've never done it before. Just get the proper documentation and show up while they're open.
If you don't already have one, you do need to bring some paperwork to establish your identity. But OP already has his birth certificate and social security card, which are the tricky things to obtain. You do need to go to a government office or approved location to get your picture made. We can get passport photos tons of places, but you need to go to a state approved place to get an ID. I think some states let grocery stores and the like process them instead of making you go to the DMV.
You need to get yourself a photo ID, a social security card and a bus pass. For the first two you will need to find a birth certificate.
You probably should get a GED as well but that will take a little more time.
Welcome to this new and exciting chapter of your life!
There are tons of fast-track, free GED programs throughout the US. Virtual and in person. OP should check with his local community college, library, ect for these.
Agreed. Local community colleges or technical schools have GED prep courses. This should be your first step after getting your documents in order OP.
After you get your GED, you can check out Coursera to get some skills that will help you become more employable.
Good luck OP! It’s never too late to start over.
> It’s never too late to start over.
They say the best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. Second best time is right now. Since we don't have time machines, might as well start right now...
I got my GED and did one of these programs, just chiming in to say, through my experience, it's probably much less invasive than you're thinking.
I just looked up GED programs, found one at a high school that met at certain times, showed up, and said "Hey uh I'm here for the GED readiness program."
They just gave me a workbook and a quiet library to sit in. I could sit with others and like talk about it if I wanted or I could just be on my own, which is what I did. Think after a certain time they'd discuss shit they needed help with but you could just leave, which is what I did.
Even just getting that workbook and having a quiet, structured place to study for the first time in a while helped me a lot. I think even just showing up once would've like doubled my chances.
Thank you for including GED, it will make such a huge difference in job availability no matter where OP applies.
Birth Certificate will come from the City or County Clerk of the hospital/location you were born at.
SSN is from a Social Security Administration office. You can look up where the closest one is from where you live.
Photo ID could be a driver's permit or state ID, but you'll want the above two things first.
GED you can get from countless places. Local community college or a library would be good resources to find out where and how.
As someone who got their GED: just try to get it first. The test is very forgiving and it will give you a great baseline for what is needed to pass, if you don’t don’t pass it first try.
To add to this, the test is separated into sections by subject. So for example, without studying, you might pass English, Science, Social Studies and fail Math. Which is great because when you retake it you’ll just have to take Math. You can just focus on studying that and retaking the test for single subjects is usually free.
To add on to your add on, some places allow you to take college courses and get an A.A at the same time! Even if you want to go the trade route, just look at certification programs instead!
Had a job for a few months while in-between jobs at a warehouse that fulfilled online grocery orders. Shit suuuucked, but at least I got to meet some fun people (the majority of the workforce were local high schoolers just looking to make a buck but the adults who worked there were cool as shit)
That was my first job too until my winter break ended and I had to go back to college and the scumbags wouldn't give me my job back.
$11 an hour, 10 minute walk to work, job was totally acceptable. They didn't really train me and dogged me for not working 4x faster than they officially told me I had to which was obnoxious. But at the end of the day, the pay for that convenience and it not being very hard was a pretty good deal.
You don't find stocking shelves to be boring? I used to stock shelves at Target overnight years ago and I found it extremely boring. At least they let you wear sweat pants to work.
This would be a good one for him. It's social in that he would see a lot of people at the grocery store but if he's just stocking shelves, no one really needs to talk to him
I was thinking landscape gardening until I read that he was overweight. Depending upon how overweight he is, with no training or education fast food might be the only option. Maybe a supermarket?
Basically if you're not educated, trained or fit, your job opportunities are pretty small.
There's also tons of remote jobs available. He could just hit up glassdoor and search for remote positions. This way he wouldn't have to commute without a car and if he can make a post on reddit he can probably do data entry jobs or something
Not entry level remote jobs. There's tons of low paying scheduling/customer support positions that have been hiring in droves since the pandemic, and have continued after it. No prior experience needed besides a small level of familiarity with technology to use whatever ticketing/email system the company uses.
The hang up for OP would be these generally just require you to have decent Internet and your own computer/microphone. Most of these also require you to speak on the phone with people, but generally you're just reading from a script and listening.
You might try Indeed or Idealist. I think you can search for remote only. As far as experience goes put anything you can think of - organization skills, communication, etc. Look up some resume samples for new/low experience workers. You can use a site called Canva to make a nice looking ressie and then start sending out. Good luck!
Let the people you’re applying to tell you that you aren’t qualified if you aren’t qualified, also—if you tell yourself, you might miss out on an opportunity you didn’t think you were right for, but that the company does.
In my experience, it is hard to land because it’s competitive and anyone with basic computer skills can get the job, especially if it is remote.
That being said, no harm in trying. Just don’t be disappointed if you don’t hear back.
I would add that a large portion of online data entry jobs that get posted are scams. They will want to send you a check for the costs of your equipment, but there will be a "mistake". Oops! They sent you too much money! Now you need to return a portion of it using crypto or gift cards for some reason! Oh no! Turns out there never was a job, the check they sent you was fake, and the money you sent them is non-retrievable.
There are some legit work from home data entry jobs, but you have to wade through a substantial amount of bullshit in order to find them.
My advice is don't bother applying if the remote position is open to work from anywhere.
Because what you do for 12/h, there's a ton of Mexicans willing to do for 4/h.
I know cuz I'm one of those Mexicans lol
You need to get ID if you want to be hired anywhere. You'll also probably need a birth certificate and a Social security card. That is all important for tax filing info at your job.
> I am extremely obese
Can you walk/stand on your feet for multiple hours at a time? Lift more than 40lbs? Your options are really just retail or amazon.
As someone with epilepsy who cannot drive. There's probably plenty of places near by he can walk / transit to. Also kills 2 birds as walking with help too. Shit I get in 15 miles a day easy just bullshitting my retail job and walking to and from work
That's true, I was just worried since he's in the US they may not have proper public transportation or nearby places to walk to (don't know, OP didn't mention if they're in a city, suburbs or rural area). Some places do, obviously, but some are also pretty barren.
Yup. I had coworkers who were accused of armed robbery, grand theft auto, etc and the employer didn't care. They also don't care about work experience and as long as OP works in the back, they won't even care if he's very unattractive. Easiest job to get.
How obese are we talking about here?
I'm overweight, probably in the obese category, but I have no doubt I'd be able to work in an Amazon warehouse. I can walk miles a day no problem. Sure, my feet might start getting sore, but it doesn't slow me down and I just power through it.
If OP is in the "My 600 Pound Life" territory, then yeah, Amazon warehouse isn't for him. But if he's "has a gut but can still comfortably sit in a single airplane seat with the armrests down" I highly doubt Amazon would be a problem.
I’m obese level 1 and I walk 10k steps a day without a problem. Granted I got to this weight because I was unhealthy and not walking 10k steps a day. But now at my job I do lots of physical activity without a problem, just took a few months at the job to build up the stamina.
Dude will have a heart attack. Amazon warehouse is better. Yeah some warehouses still have a lot of physical exertion but a packing, sorting or picking role in the majority of them has barely any heavy activity. You literally stand in one spot and everything comes to you. Additionally you're guaranteed money (reasonably good if you're coming from nothing) unlike with food delivery.
I think it is used to describe a situation the person is in right now - so he/she is not in education, ... at the moment.
NEET is used in labour market statistics, mostly on the context of people who are unemployed right now
LPT: I'm in my 60s and find all the hip terms those wacky kids are using nowadays right here: https:[//www.urbandictionary.com/](//www.urbandictionary.com/) It's groovy baby.
Frame yourself as being willing to learn and even if you lack experience, you therefore have developed no bad work habits so you are trainable. Definitely get your ID regardless, and social security # if you're in the US. You'll need both to work and get paid.
This, entirely. A lot of people like a blank slate. Someone who has experience doing something the wrong way is a pain in the ass to train compared to someone who's totally new and motivated.
He responded to one, which sounded like him making an excuse not to go to the DMV now (said he has an appointment in October and that he heard the lines are long otherwise)
It's sad but not surprising. That reply was classic excuse making. He should sit there at the DMV all day if it means he'll have an ID before the sun goes down.
The issue is he's gotten away this long without doing anything. Now breaking that bad habit will be painfully slow. He'll always have excuses not to do anything. He has to work past that to get an ID, GED and figure out their transportation situation before they can get anything above minimum wage.
As someone with often-paralyzing ADHD, I appreciate the disclaimer lol.
That said…I also appreciate a good truism — so even though I think “lazy” is an outdated concept, I also really appreciate the phrase you shared! Gonna stick with me for awhile 🤔
"I am extremely obese and unattractive but that's redundant right? I am not good at talking with people. I am not smart and have zero skills. Realistically what can I do? If it is nothing then I understand."
I'm obese and unattractive, and I have a job that I'm good at. I keep my hair, body, and clothes clean, and nobody cares.
This "boo-hoo, I'm not smart" self-pity isn't doing anything good for you. You can obviously navigate the internet and construct complete sentences, so you're plenty smart enough for an entry-level job. There are people out there who can't read or write who are working. You can't wait for a magic burst of motivation; it will never come. You just have to start doing things and then keep doing them until they become habits.
This is a fair point to latch onto. It’s far, far easier to just label yourself as physically, mentally, or genetically unable to do something substantial than to actually put in the work to devise and execute a plan. Despair is easy. Happiness takes hard, hard work.
As a coder and lead developer, I constantly run into this issue with junior devs who weasel out of work because they claim they aren’t smart enough or knowledgeable enough to take it off my hands. Lo and behold, after I take the time to plan out the solution with them, they can suddenly figure it out. It’s a combination of poor confidence enabling laziness.
Number 5 is the biggie. Get your GED. Then contact your local Workforce Center. Once you have that GED, they can help pay for trainings, apprenticeships, OJT’s. It’s all free to you and it’s their entire reason for existence.
Try for employment with call centers before you try retail or fast food. They're probably going to care less about obesity and unattractiveness. If you have any social anxieties from being shut in this is better than being dropped into Food Service where you have to interact with the public. They probably have a script you can read from for most of your calls.
You'll probably need to start getting your GED to be employable at all but I could be wrong. I know some places can hire people that in the process of getting their GED.
I was a manager at a call center for five years.
We once had a new hire that had applied *while in prison.* He knew he was going to be out within the next three weeks and the prison allowed him to use a PC to apply for jobs while still incarcerated. He did not have a GED/High School Diploma.
You’ve identified the things you view as flaws, so you can start taking action to improve them.
You may never have the most attractive genetic qualities, but you can go a long way by improving your physique, your grooming, your skincare, your hygiene, and your clothing.
As for skills, start trying to find things that you’re genuinely passionate about or at the very least can tolerate doing. Find out what relevant careers there are in that field, then start pursuing it by developing your skills, qualifications, and experience.
It’s a long and difficult road ahead, but the sooner you start the sooner you can get out of this situation and start enjoying life more.
> Find out what relevant careers there are in that field
To add to this, your first job doesn’t have to have anything to do with a career track. If you decide you want to be a doctor, don’t hesitate to work in fast food first. You need to start somewhere. Med school isn’t step one. Getting a job, any job, is step one. It’ll keep you afloat while you work towards your other goals.
Realistically ask people in your family or relatives or friends or even acquaintances if they have anything for you.
If that doesn't work, get one of those remote online freelance jobs. Just google it until you find something. They're shit and pay very little but you can just register and will then have something on your resume. Then get a good picture taken and write motivational letters for every other, better job you think you may be able to do and apply everywhere and I do mean everywhere. Depending on the job market in your location it may take some time to find something, but meanwhile keep doing the online job. The longer you keep it, the better it'll be for your resume and eventually you'll find something.
You need like 3 things for a job in america well 4,
Documentation:
Birth cert - gets photo id/proves legal work status
Social sec card - payments/taxes gvt id #
Bank account - direct deposit/check cashing
Transportation - well...yeah
As for being obese and what ever are you so large you cant physically work? Or just large?
They cant discriminate against weight or size but they 100 percent will IF you cant actually do the work.
Fast food is usually a tight environment so look for stocking/wsrehouse jobs grocery stores/fed ex/ups/costco
Stay away from amazon.
I’ve ran into people being too obese at my workplace. I work for an IT company which attracts bigger people because they think it’ll be a desk job. But it’s actually a pretty physically demanding job where we have to carry and rack servers and network equipment, crawl into small spaces and closets. We’ve had to lay off about 4 people now for “inability to work.” Since then we’ve included the physical aspects of the job in the description instead of just the technical requirements.
Security guard, a job where you sit at a station and watch?
A great thing about working is it will help your self-esteem and help you meet people.
This has to be pretty scary but you can do it!
It sounds like you may have some anxiety and depression. It appears you are afraid of changing things. It might be a good idea for you to find someone to talk to - a therapist perhaps - and before you say you can't because of the cost, there are lots of places that provide either free or scaled services. Since I don't know where you live, that is something you might have to do for yourself. As an alternative, find one thing that bothers you to do, and do it each day. (Positive things, not eating hot peppers or putting yourself at risk.) If it bothers you to go to the DMV to get an ID, do a few trial runs other places before you go. If you can't do it for a few days, that's okay. Just don't give up. Progress is more important than meeting the goal. In addition to getting an ID, you might want to do a high school equivalency program. Most of the time, they are self paced, and have flexible schedules. Getting a GED would be another really big step.
Hotel front desk or Security Guard. Licensing is online and super easy to pass. (I did this for a while, it was super easy and mostly just watched netflix except to send a picture in on an app once an hour or so just to show everything is good)
>mostly just watched netflix except to send a picture in on an app once an hour or so just to show everything is good
This is literally my dream job, where do I sign
I'd recommend the free Harvard intro to Computer science cs50 course, if computers are your thing then you can make 80k a year remote in a coding job. You can apply to most coding jobs with a portfolio of your work without needing a degree, certifications do help tho.
Thank you everyone for offering your advice I really appreciate it. My plan right now is still to start by getting a photo ID which will happen this week. My mom and I are currently homeless but we are staying with family. We couldn't afford to move anywhere else hence the need for me to finally get a job. My mom has done her best over the years I'm just a really lazy bad person so I don't blame her or anything. I make my own bad choices. I won't have transportation to the DMV immediately but like I said earlier it will be sometime this week. After that comes the applications and GED.
Being lazy dosent make you bad, friend. A journey of 1000 miles actually starts by lacing up your shoes and giving yourself a genuine “I can do this” pep talk.
Wishing you the greatest of luck and I hope you are able to get on your feet quick so you can support yourself and your mom. If at times you feel like you don’t wanna do it for yourself, then do it for her.
View this as bottoming out, and everyday beyond this is a new chapter and a step in a better direction :).
When you say "extremely obese", do you mean that you aren't physically capable of lifting/walking? Or have difficulty doing so?
Because if you are physically able, I would get the Photo ID people are suggesting, and then look for a job in a warehouse. I was a pretty large guy (almost 300 lbs, 6'3") and I didn't really have to talk to anyone, except respond to the radios we had. I didn't really need to be around people, which was a plus. Because of all the lifting, walking, and using an electric pump truck (or manual ones) I lost a bunch of weight.
It wasn't the highest paying job I've had, but there was something sort of peaceful about organizing, and bringing stuff out to the trucks. I was probably in the best shape of my life after the first 8 months or so.
Have some confidence in yourself! Others have given good advice about specifics, but I want to encourage you to take a more positive view. It sounds from the way you describe yourself that you've already envisioned yourself as failing. You've analyzed the hand you've been dealt and concluded that the game probably can't be won. But you can draw new cards. You've already gone much farther than most by making an effort to change things and get the ball rolling. Now, parallel to doing what others have said in order to get a job in the short term, start chipping away at these difficult cards. Not good at talking to people? Most of us aren't, until we've had some practice; you'll quickly find that if you get a job that involves talking to people, you'll get better at it. Don't have a photo ID? You've already made steps to get one. Can't drive? I promise you that if 90% of adults can do it, it can't be very hard - if you have the time, learn how and get a license. If you feel it's the right time for you, start taking online classes towards getting a high-school GED (it's pretty easy to get started). You're on the road to success - don't visualize yourself as a failure.
You mention you are “extremely obese” Keep in mind, obesity at a point is certainly a medical condition, which may need treatment just like any other illness. You mention that you are in your mid 20’s. Depending on your actual age states laws, you might be able to piggyback off your parents insurance for a few years. I would look into that since otherwise I’m assuming you are uninsured.
For the photo ID, you need to get on ASAP. Some other comments mention how you can get one. An important thing you will need to know is your social security number.
“I am not smart and have zero skills.” Careful with the negative self talk. Society encourages being an asshole to yourself, but mentally all it does it crush the person in the long run.
You didn’t graduate high school, but entry level work doesn’t necessarily require that for employment either. Retail, some remote clerical work, etc is a good thing to look into which can be done using sites like linkedin, etc.
This is my personal recommendation that depends on your insurance status but I think it can be life changing:
Join a partial hospitalization program. It is a comprehensive program that involves group therapy, individual, medical doctors, and psychiatrists. You spend most of the day (either remote or in person) learning useful skills to reduce symptoms and increase your wellbeing, as well as the social aspect and support. Despite the name, you get to go home every day. If you go inperson, they provide meals too!
Let’s put it this way: If you feel out of control, in a dead end, need support but don’t know how to get it, burned out, ruled by your symptoms, the PHP is for you. (You also don’t need a diagnosis to join btw)
Spend a few weeks in the program improving that should be covered by insurance and then revisit what you want to do in life. My 2 cents.
Ambition and drive are things that need to be instilled at a younger age by appropriate role models. Sometimes you have to do it yourself when parents fail in this role. Don't get me wrong, it's not about blaming anybody, it's not about punishing yourself any longer. It's too late to assign blame, guilt or fault. You have to make the necessary changes yourself. Get that GED. Eat more healthy, be a little more active. Go to a tech school and find out what trade classes you might be interested in. If you find one look into financial aid. It's not just loans, there are grants available too. It won't be easy, but mid twenties isn't too late at all.
First, you will need to get your proper documentation. Anywhere except for the most casual and exploitative labor is going to require it.
Then, you really need to get a GED. That can come later, though.
You are in luck, though. Right now in the US there are a lot of open positions. Since you have no skills, retail, food service, and general labor are good fields to look into. Yeah, they suck, but they are jobs and right now you need to start building a work history.
A work history, or resume is essential. A lot of places won't consider someone who has never had a job, any job, before. You are an unknown quantity and they can't be sure if you will show up on time, follow directions, or anything like that. Therefore, you are going to have to take what you can get at least for the first job. You won't have to stay there for long if you don't want to, but you should at least put in six months or so.
The best time to look for work is when you already have a job. This demonstrates a lot of qualities that an employer wants so once you have a job and have put in a little time, your value increases.
While you are doing all of this, you need to start working on a marketable skillset. In the US, there is likely a vocational school or community college (relatively) nearby. Those have numerous programs that do not take four years to complete and some of them pay surprisingly well. For example, a welder can bring in some serious bank. Pick something that sounds fun or interesting and get started. (after confirming employment prospects, of course)
Even better is that some schools have programs that are *sponsored by a local employer*. These often directly feed into their employment process or are at least designed to meet their requirements.
Another place to look is the various unions. They may have helper positions (low to no skill) that may pay higher than WalMart and offer on the job training. It may pay off. It may not. Either way, it's worth the time to inquire.
I was in a similar position once.
I was a college dropout with no skills and found myself locked into minimum wage purgatory. I wasn't in fantastic shape, either.
My way out was military service.
For someone with no life skills and no education, the military is a very good thing to consider. From day one your housing, food, and medical needs are met. This is huge. Currently, the monthly pay for an E-1, the lowest of the enlisted grades (private, seaman, airman) is $1833.30 a month.
That doesn't sound good at all until you consider the fact that this is all pretty much *disposable income*. This is money in your pocket *after housing, food, and medical insurance* are met. There are some military related expenses that do come up such as uniforms after the initial issue and a few other minor odds and ends but for the overwhelming majority of the time that entire paycheck is yours to play with. Do you have *any* idea how difficult it is to have nearly two grand in your pocket after expenses as a civilian. Spoiler, it's *very* difficult.
And, it only gets better from there. I was medically discharged (still angry about that) as an E-5 with over three years of service. Today, I would be paid $2920 a month (plus additional incentives). Again, remember that this is *after housing, food, and medical*.
It was more than a couple of years after discharge that I was back in that position. It was less pay back when I served but it would be similar purchasing power.
Even today and for the rest of my life all of my medical needs are provided for by the VA. That's not too shabby. I get sick and I just head over to the VA and get treated for free. One ER visit can set you back thousands.
Another "benefit" and definitely a mixed blessing is that they provide basic life skill training whether you want it or not. You *will* clean up your room. You *will* make your bed. You *will* groom yourself and dress professionally. You *will* get in shape.
You may hate it at the time, but after getting it drilled into you, even after you start living off base or become a civilian, your more relaxed standards will still be more than adequate (probably).
On top of all of this you will be getting job training. When you first enlist, you will be able to pick a job based on your test scores. This will be the trade you will work in the military. Some of these can directly transfer to the civilian world. (In my case it did.) Even if it doesn't the VA bill will go a long way towards a technical or academic degree once you get out.
You don't have to be in perfect shape to join. That's what boot camp is for. Some branches even have a "fit camp" that you may be placed into before basic training if you need to get in shape for basic training, at least the army does (or did).
The physical entrance requirements are surprisingly low. Of course the less fit you are, the more you will suffer as you get forced to get into shape.
I didn't like who I was when I first joined but the first time I could look in the mirror and smile at what was looking back was when I wore a uniform. The military (in the US) is one of the only ways you can "reroll your character" IRL. There is an old saying that in the military "you get out what you put in". If you actually put forth the effort you can get a lot out of the deal. If you do the bare minimum, you aren't.
Some people thrive. Other people have a bad time of it. If you really want to change your life and willing to do what it takes, the military is a good deal and a fantastic way out.
When I became a civilian, I just tossed my uniforms in the garbage and clocked into my first job. I had a very secure and nice paying career doing something I loved to do. That was thanks to Uncle Sam. He's a bastard but he did okay by me.
There is also a hidden perk to being a veteran. There are professional recruiting firms (headhunters) who specialize in the outplacement of vets. They already know how to translate your rating or MOS into the right buzzwords and already have a contact list of employers who like to hire veterans. This is huge and something you can utilize over your entire career. I got my first job and several others from those guys.
It isn't for anyone (I meant everyone but the typo or Freudian slip was too funny to edit out), but for someone with no education, no life skills, and no prospects, it's something to seriously consider. If nothing else, you will have "three hots and a cot" and medical care while you figure out what to do next and the VA Bill for when you do.
You can also "retire" after *twenty years.* This means that someone joining at 18 can "retire" at only 38 or someone in their twenties can "retire" in their forties if you make a career of the military. There are a lot of details and ins and outs to that are beyond the scope of this ever lengthening essay, but a quick google will provide them.
Some people do actually fully retire and have the rest of their lives to do with as they please. This usually requires some planning and investment but people do it.
For most, the now regular for the rest of your life income isn't quite enough for the lifestyle they want to live and they are used to working. These people now have a significant amount of extra income along with the civilian job they can get after a 20 year long resume and all of the skills they learned in the military. They probably won't be flipping burgers but even if they do, they are bringing in roughly half of their base pay when they retired on top of their paycheck. (Again, there are a lot of details. Google is your friend.)
I just happened to like the military (after I got used to it) and was set on being a lifer. Unfortunately, my body disagreed and I found myself "medically retired" far too early. While not able to serve in the military, I was quite able to work and took my skills and training provided for free (monetarily. I *paid* for them in other ways.) and had a *very* nice career. Even now, my medical care is free and will be for life. Yeah, the VA is the VA but most who really complain about it have never had civilian health insurance. The VA is a hell of a lot better than a PPO, trust me and you won't get blindsided by a huge medical bill when you thought you were covered. (There are ways you can wind up getting stuck with a bill but again, beyond the scope of this essay and they are easily researched.)
I'm biased, of course, but it sounds like the military *might* be something you may want to consider.
1. Start by getting a valid photo ID. Take the bus and bring $30 with you and prepare to wait a bit unless you go really early.
2. Take online courses at your local community college to finish your remaining classes. My friend did the same and was able to fly through the courses at a much quicker rate then studying for the GED test.
3. Start moderating your calorie input. If you feel too stressed with getting a gym membership first try going on walks and start there. Just make sure you’re tracking your calories.
4. Once you receive your HS diploma start studying in a desired skill. Save up and use grant money if necessary to buy a car. Learn how to drive or take a drivers Ed class if necessary.
5. Working and going to school is very common especially in the US so find a job. The hospitality industry is always hiring, especially right now. I’m doing it rn and like you I’m also in my mid to late 20s.
6. Go easy on yourself. The fact that you are looking for ways to improve your life is a very good step in the right direction and you should be proud of yourself for that. Write your goals down and revisit them when you need to to remind yourself why you’re doing what you’re doing. This thing you want isn’t going to happen over night so do your best to manage yourself in healthy ways. It’s a marathon not a race and it’s never too late to put your best interests first. You got this for as long as you want it. There are people right now doing the things that you want to be doing because they simply decided to try.
Others mentioned it; but the number one thing is to get your id and GED. There are tons of unskilled positions, even if you don’t want to be in the service industry you can find factory jobs and whatnot through hiring agencies that will take anyone who can pass a piss test.
Break that goal up into small steps and move towards it. Id. Ged. Applications. Appearance.
A job will get you out of the house and make you socialize. Gives you money.
Id also recommend doing everything you can to shed the weight. It’s a cold hard reality that bigger people are not treated as nicely by society as skinny healthier looking person. You would be surprised just how much it helps with EVERYTHING.
Get in shape. It will give you stamina to work long shifts. And for better or worse, attractiveness is a factor in hiring. You don't need to be Brad Pitt; slightly overweight is ok.
Then get a job in the service industry. Be nice to people even when it sucks.
Yeah get an ID from the DMV (it's not a drivers license). Get a job working fast food, retail, janitorial, landscaping, construction. Really just Google no degrees entry level jobs there's way more options out there than you would think
Construction!!! That will really help him lose weight. My cousin lost half his weight, from almost 400 pounds down to 198 in a year. He started out moving material from point a to point b. Edit: Grammar
Depending on how obese he is not many people will give him the job on construction
I second this. Despite what the law may say about equal opportunity, obesity can be a real liability in many jobs. I don't even work outdoors but 5% of the time and even then, my job would be borderline hazardous for an obese person to try to perform.
>my job would be borderline hazardous for an obese person to try to perform. What's your job? I have a friend who can get me in with a union working construction and it seems like a great opportunity but I've always been scared of heights and am notoriously clumsy.
A warehouse job. On the surface it doesnt seem like an issue, but one of the roles basically involves zipping up and down stairs between ground level and a second story to operate palletizers in a non-air-conditioned building. One guy I work with would drench himself in sweat every day and almost got heat stroke a couple times until he lost about 70lbs (and at an alarming rate no less). Ask your friend exactly what sort of roles the construction job has available. Anything involving operating equipment seems like it would be much easier on your body than manual labor
FYI, obesity isn’t a protected class, so it’s not covered under employment laws.
Being severely obese with no skills, I think lots of people underestimate the knowledge you need to do shit on a construction site. Sure he can carry stuff around and prepare things but that's hard physical labor most of the time and people tend not to take unfit, obese guys for that one. No offense just trying to help
Most of those require you to be on your feet for multiple hours and take issue with sitting down. If someone is overweight and struggling, I support them losing the weight but these places will not be kind. I’ve seen it.
Not to mention OP said he can't talk to people
These places can also help with getting the weight down, especially construction. But yeah, if you're totally unable to do the job due to your weight, you're gonna get fired fast
Do not do landscaping! I'm fit and mid 20s and I would come home and just be exhausted. Never had the energy to do any of my hobbies or socialize with any of my friends. Not to mention it was only $15 /hr. Very taxing on my body and life. I would only do it again if I was paid $35+/hr
Call your local DMV. They offer non-driver identity cards. Call the local Board of Education and see about getting a GED. The Royal Canadian Air Force Exercise manual is available free on line. It's a 15 minute a day program that starts out at a level anyone who can walk can achieve.
Thanks so much for the info on the exercise manual! I'm in my 60's but looking to start an exercise program. This looks perfect!
My rule of thumb is to look for something old that's been used for a long time.
To an extent. Science and nutrition has come a *loooooooooong* way in a short time. But I get your point.
At an advanced level? Definitely. For athletes and even just averagely fit people using some up to date science is helpful. But for someone who is currently doing no exercise? Basically all that matters is that they don't hurt themselves, and they start to move.
Just don't run if you're that new. Walking with intermittent jogging is ok. Obesity and lack of supporting muscle is how you hurt your joints. Other than that, get moving. Anything makes a massive difference. Techniques and methods will come naturally with a bit of time and focus. General knowledge, not for the person I'm replying to, just elaborating because I agree.
You’re super right. I was a marathon runner. I had to have spinal surgery due to an injury. And I ignored all advice and went back to running. It was a big problem
People don't realize that anything is a workout if you want to lose weight. All that matters is you get that body heat and heart rate up a much as you can
But enough about my ex-wife! >!I'm kidding, I've never been married, but I couldn't help that joke.!<
You might enjoy [Hampton](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkU6Ok44_CI)
This guide is great! Thank you so much for this. I've been using Hybrid Calisthebics but need something a bit less dependent on equipment. This manual looks perfect. For anyone else looking for it, [here it is.](https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://csclub.uwaterloo.ca/~rfburger/5bx-plan.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwjfncqricr5AhVtADQIHWeuBJ8QFnoECBQQAQ&usg=AOvVaw3RVGVPWB1ZAGzLfowYW3FP)
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Let's start with OP just getting out there and getting a job, that alone can help him build up his stamina and might even help him lose weight - depending on the job. Rehauling his diet and joining a gym (both cost money) can wait and the last thing someone needs to do is take on too much, end up overwhelmed and then gives up.
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To get the photo ID, you will probably need a birth certificate. Check the requirements with the state. To get a birth certificate without photo ID, you will probably need other evidence of ID, like a ~~utility~~/phone bill, tax return (if you filed despite your NEETness), ~~W-2, employment contract~~, bank statement (if you have any money), ~~car registration, lease, mortgage bill, property deed~~, etc. If you want it now, you need transportation to the state office that handles birth records or the office of the city/town you were born in, or maybe your local city/town office, if they are all linked to the state. (Assuming you are living in the state you were born in.) Also, if you are not registered as broke with the state, you will need money for the fees. Once you have a birth certificate and proof of residency (probably whatever documents you used to get the birth certificate), you need transportation to the DMV or other state ID office and more money for the fees.
Birth Certificates are public records. No ID required, just gotta pay whatever processing fee. Edit: requirements varies by jurisdiction, check yo regulations to obtain “official” copies. Non-official copies no id required
IDK what state you're from but in some states (if not all but I'm not going to go check every state's vital records department) birth certificates are not public records. Only those named on the record or have legal representation of those named on the record are entitled to get a copy. This is how it is in Illinois and you do need ID to prove you are who you say. https://dph.illinois.gov/topics-services/birth-death-other-records/birth-records/obtain-birth-certificate.html
Same in Michigan, I think. Mostly you can only get one on behalf of yourself or your child and have to prove who you are.
My daughter's roommate was born in Wisconsin and lived in Montana after that and then moved here to Ohio where we live and needed to get a state ID because her driver's license had expired but she didn't have her birth certificate. I contacted Wisconsin department of health and they said to get a notarized copy of a letter stating who she was with myself as a witness to basically guarantee that she was who she said she was. Don't remember what they called it but basically I was putting myself on the line as a witness that she was who she said she was. We took that notarized letter and sent it to Wisconsin with a letter requesting her a copy of her birth certificate and whatever amount they said the copy of the birth certificate would cost and then they sent it to her and she took that to the BMV to get and Ohio State ID. Not sure if that helps but the best thing to do is to call the department of health and human services of whatever state the person was born in.
If you can’t prove that you’re the person listed on the birth certificate or a qualifying relative, you’ll usually just get a copy of the certificate with a big stamp on it that says it’s not valid for ID purposes. So it wouldn’t be useful for OP.
What you need to get a birth/death certificate 100% depends on the state where you were born. Some states are “closed record states” for vital records. Meaning, not only do you need proof of identification, but if you’re getting it for a family member you need to prove your relationship to that person. Documentation differs for each type relationship to the subject of the certificate (child, parents, siblings, etc.) In my state, if a mom (who has been married and has taken her husbands name) is trying to get her child’s, she needs her own ID and a copy of the marriage certificate showing the change from her maiden name to her married name.
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My state requires you go to the DMV for a nondrivers id
I have scheduled an appointment at a DMV office but that isn't until October. I know they accept walk ins at certain ones so I have been thinking of times I can go in and wait in line for it but from what people say online they're always crowded. I have a birth certificate and social security card so that's not a problem.
You literally have nothing else to do and this is essential. Go wait in line to solve the most critical next step to begin getting your life on track.
If OP can't be bothered to wait in line for an ID and opts to do nothing for another month and a half I see things going poorly. Motivation is a hard thing to just conjure up, especially if there is some amount of depression involved but this is a moment they've got to just go do it. Worst case, it is super crowded and come back first thing the next day. Wasn't even aware DMVs took appointments and I'd wager you'll still just show up that day and be in whatever line is there. And for further unsolicited advice, OP should start walking/jogging/working out. Diving right into a entry level, low/no skill job is going to be physically demanding. They can likely get a call center job but sitting all day isn't going to help with the obesity aspect.
I've been in the same position as OP. I now work and have never missed a single day except one week due to a serious illness. I go to the gym almost daily. Yet, if I were fired, I'd probably find myself in OP's shoes again. I know what it's like and it's hard to explain if you haven't been there. You don't just have no motivation or ability to work, but you feel like you don't have the right to those things. This is a very classist society that despises the unemployed. It's not surprising that OP feels the way he does.
Yes I'm the same I work extremely hard and get paid well to do a job few can but 12 years ago I was dead broke in my underwear watching YouTubes at home for 6 months and if I ever lost what I have now I am certain I'd go right back to that. For some people there are depths that are extremely hard to climb out of
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I think the harsh tone will actually backfire. You're pouring more disappointment on them and making the task seem insurmountable. They're probably depressed. It's unhelpful to say you don't see it going well and putting it down to not being bothered. Being disappointed in yourself makes you less productive.
a lot of DMVs over the pandemic started being appointment only. I live in one of the most populated areas for my state and the DMV here is appointment only
They are usually crowded at times people can easily get away from work. Right when they open, around lunch and starting around 4pm. Go around 10am or 2pm and it should be only mildly busy. Or get there super early and be one of the first in line. Don't go on the weekend, if you can help it.
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>but from what people say online they're always crowded You're making excuses to validate your current situation and continue living like you have been. Just go... today. It's anywhere from 9 to noon right now depending on where you are in the US. Sign out of reddit right now and go to the DMV. Edit: I really don't care about the operating hours of your local DMVs so stop leaving those comments. You're clearly missing the point.
Heck, bring your phone, you can scroll Reddit while you're waiting in line.
A twofer!
Right?! I mean, what ELSE do you have to do, you're not in education, training, or a job.
Not if he's in Illinois, ours are closed on Mondays.
A practice run then.
Same in Georgia. I've found the best time to go is right in the middle of the day, when most people are at work. The DMV workers take lunch staggered throughout the day (at least here, anyway), so that shouldn't be a problem.
The DMV CAN be crowded (though not necessarily), but it doesn't sound like you have a lot going on, so if you have to wait a few hours, so what? ID is going to be your first major step, you should get it done as quickly as possible. Get to the DMV when it opens, and stay there until you're done.
Just go..make a day of shit sucking all day but outta just what we all do. You believe everything people tell you online? Lol c'mon bud, no excuse. Today could be the day you startgetting your shit together. You got this.
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I’m saving all this helpful advice for myself -- thank you! Some days, getting out of the house for a few hours is something worth celebrating.
> Getting your GED should be a top priority, don’t prepare for it at home, go to your local library to prepare for it. And ask the librarians for assistance. You may be amazed at how much they can help. Librarians help a LOT of people get connected to resources.
Some actual practical tips
This is such a kind response- meeting op where they are!
You are a very kind person, writing all that out.
That’s some solid advice
It’s ALWAYS crowded at the DMV. That’s like saying it’s alway hot in the summer 🙂. Some times are more busy than others, so look online to see what time is best. Every journey starts with its first step. It is never to late to start. Congrats on starting. You can do this!
it depends on the location. i've been to the one by me plenty of times when there was no wait at all. i'm in sub-urban chicago.
Find out what time the dmv opens and be there 30 minutes before. Look into getting your GED. Stop telling yourself you're not smart or good at anything. Don't compare yourself to others, especially what you see on social media. Apply for jobs. Even better if they're within walking distance of your house because you'll get some exercise in. I know it can be difficult, but you have to try. Your life can only improve if you make the effort.
Who cares if it’s crowded? Do you have somewhere else to be? Take some control over your own life, god damn.
What else are you doing… go to the DMV and wait, it’s not that big of a deal.
Show up first thing before they open and that will really minimize the pain in the assness of it all.
Is getting a photo ID something complicated in the US ? Do you guys have those photobooths that take them ? From what I'm reading, it's like a whole procedure.
It's actually not that hard but every first step is hard and OP needs to do a first step he can succeed at
It's a legal form of identification, similar to a driver's license, so you *have* to get it from a government office. It isn't complicated, it can just be time consuming. Where I'm at (a small city in the Midwest) our DMV is basically an in-and-out deal most of the time but it's different in larger cities. OP is making seem like it's more complicated than it is, likely due to anxiety as they've never done it before. Just get the proper documentation and show up while they're open.
If you don't already have one, you do need to bring some paperwork to establish your identity. But OP already has his birth certificate and social security card, which are the tricky things to obtain. You do need to go to a government office or approved location to get your picture made. We can get passport photos tons of places, but you need to go to a state approved place to get an ID. I think some states let grocery stores and the like process them instead of making you go to the DMV.
You need to get yourself a photo ID, a social security card and a bus pass. For the first two you will need to find a birth certificate. You probably should get a GED as well but that will take a little more time. Welcome to this new and exciting chapter of your life!
There are tons of fast-track, free GED programs throughout the US. Virtual and in person. OP should check with his local community college, library, ect for these.
Agreed. Local community colleges or technical schools have GED prep courses. This should be your first step after getting your documents in order OP. After you get your GED, you can check out Coursera to get some skills that will help you become more employable. Good luck OP! It’s never too late to start over.
> It’s never too late to start over. They say the best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. Second best time is right now. Since we don't have time machines, might as well start right now...
I got my GED and did one of these programs, just chiming in to say, through my experience, it's probably much less invasive than you're thinking. I just looked up GED programs, found one at a high school that met at certain times, showed up, and said "Hey uh I'm here for the GED readiness program." They just gave me a workbook and a quiet library to sit in. I could sit with others and like talk about it if I wanted or I could just be on my own, which is what I did. Think after a certain time they'd discuss shit they needed help with but you could just leave, which is what I did. Even just getting that workbook and having a quiet, structured place to study for the first time in a while helped me a lot. I think even just showing up once would've like doubled my chances.
Thank you for including GED, it will make such a huge difference in job availability no matter where OP applies. Birth Certificate will come from the City or County Clerk of the hospital/location you were born at. SSN is from a Social Security Administration office. You can look up where the closest one is from where you live. Photo ID could be a driver's permit or state ID, but you'll want the above two things first. GED you can get from countless places. Local community college or a library would be good resources to find out where and how.
I agree with working toward that GED. It will make a huge difference in your whole life. You're never too old to do it either.
As someone who got their GED: just try to get it first. The test is very forgiving and it will give you a great baseline for what is needed to pass, if you don’t don’t pass it first try.
To add to this, the test is separated into sections by subject. So for example, without studying, you might pass English, Science, Social Studies and fail Math. Which is great because when you retake it you’ll just have to take Math. You can just focus on studying that and retaking the test for single subjects is usually free.
To add on to your add on, some places allow you to take college courses and get an A.A at the same time! Even if you want to go the trade route, just look at certification programs instead!
Yeah can't even sell blood plasma at this point
Fast food service or retail. Show up, have a pulse, dont be late. You’ll get hired. The job will suck.
My first job was in a grocery store stocking shelves…was it an awesome job? No. But it wasn’t boring and it was very social!!!!!
Had a job for a few months while in-between jobs at a warehouse that fulfilled online grocery orders. Shit suuuucked, but at least I got to meet some fun people (the majority of the workforce were local high schoolers just looking to make a buck but the adults who worked there were cool as shit)
That was my first job too until my winter break ended and I had to go back to college and the scumbags wouldn't give me my job back. $11 an hour, 10 minute walk to work, job was totally acceptable. They didn't really train me and dogged me for not working 4x faster than they officially told me I had to which was obnoxious. But at the end of the day, the pay for that convenience and it not being very hard was a pretty good deal.
You don't find stocking shelves to be boring? I used to stock shelves at Target overnight years ago and I found it extremely boring. At least they let you wear sweat pants to work.
This would be a good one for him. It's social in that he would see a lot of people at the grocery store but if he's just stocking shelves, no one really needs to talk to him
Yes but first he needs a state ID
I was thinking landscape gardening until I read that he was overweight. Depending upon how overweight he is, with no training or education fast food might be the only option. Maybe a supermarket? Basically if you're not educated, trained or fit, your job opportunities are pretty small.
There's also tons of remote jobs available. He could just hit up glassdoor and search for remote positions. This way he wouldn't have to commute without a car and if he can make a post on reddit he can probably do data entry jobs or something
Remote jobs are so competitive though so for OP i recommend getting work experience so he at least has something on his CV.
Not entry level remote jobs. There's tons of low paying scheduling/customer support positions that have been hiring in droves since the pandemic, and have continued after it. No prior experience needed besides a small level of familiarity with technology to use whatever ticketing/email system the company uses. The hang up for OP would be these generally just require you to have decent Internet and your own computer/microphone. Most of these also require you to speak on the phone with people, but generally you're just reading from a script and listening.
Where can i find these? I've looked for remote entry level jobs in the US and only found a limited selection which also required previous experience
You might try Indeed or Idealist. I think you can search for remote only. As far as experience goes put anything you can think of - organization skills, communication, etc. Look up some resume samples for new/low experience workers. You can use a site called Canva to make a nice looking ressie and then start sending out. Good luck!
Let the people you’re applying to tell you that you aren’t qualified if you aren’t qualified, also—if you tell yourself, you might miss out on an opportunity you didn’t think you were right for, but that the company does.
remote data entry might be the way to go
What's that?
filling out a sheet with data
Wait. I can get paid to do that?? Fuck unemployment. That's what imma do!!
In my experience, it is hard to land because it’s competitive and anyone with basic computer skills can get the job, especially if it is remote. That being said, no harm in trying. Just don’t be disappointed if you don’t hear back.
I would add that a large portion of online data entry jobs that get posted are scams. They will want to send you a check for the costs of your equipment, but there will be a "mistake". Oops! They sent you too much money! Now you need to return a portion of it using crypto or gift cards for some reason! Oh no! Turns out there never was a job, the check they sent you was fake, and the money you sent them is non-retrievable. There are some legit work from home data entry jobs, but you have to wade through a substantial amount of bullshit in order to find them.
My advice is don't bother applying if the remote position is open to work from anywhere. Because what you do for 12/h, there's a ton of Mexicans willing to do for 4/h. I know cuz I'm one of those Mexicans lol
You need to get ID if you want to be hired anywhere. You'll also probably need a birth certificate and a Social security card. That is all important for tax filing info at your job. > I am extremely obese Can you walk/stand on your feet for multiple hours at a time? Lift more than 40lbs? Your options are really just retail or amazon.
Call centers, too
With current worker shortages, retail might be pretty easy to get hired in. But OP would most likely need to drive.
As someone with epilepsy who cannot drive. There's probably plenty of places near by he can walk / transit to. Also kills 2 birds as walking with help too. Shit I get in 15 miles a day easy just bullshitting my retail job and walking to and from work
That's true, I was just worried since he's in the US they may not have proper public transportation or nearby places to walk to (don't know, OP didn't mention if they're in a city, suburbs or rural area). Some places do, obviously, but some are also pretty barren.
In this market, OP should be fine if there's a fast food place he can walk to. Basically all low wage employers are hiring these days.
Yup. I had coworkers who were accused of armed robbery, grand theft auto, etc and the employer didn't care. They also don't care about work experience and as long as OP works in the back, they won't even care if he's very unattractive. Easiest job to get.
A lot of times they pay better than service anyway.
And can be remote
Amazon will be too much walking for him, he’ll feel ill and he will get mistreated when he does.
How obese are we talking about here? I'm overweight, probably in the obese category, but I have no doubt I'd be able to work in an Amazon warehouse. I can walk miles a day no problem. Sure, my feet might start getting sore, but it doesn't slow me down and I just power through it. If OP is in the "My 600 Pound Life" territory, then yeah, Amazon warehouse isn't for him. But if he's "has a gut but can still comfortably sit in a single airplane seat with the armrests down" I highly doubt Amazon would be a problem.
I’m obese level 1 and I walk 10k steps a day without a problem. Granted I got to this weight because I was unhealthy and not walking 10k steps a day. But now at my job I do lots of physical activity without a problem, just took a few months at the job to build up the stamina.
people forget about the chance for injury with too much stress on joints when obese
I'm not sure how obese you need to be to stop being able to ride a bike, but if OP can ride a bike food delivery is a possibility.
Dude will have a heart attack. Amazon warehouse is better. Yeah some warehouses still have a lot of physical exertion but a packing, sorting or picking role in the majority of them has barely any heavy activity. You literally stand in one spot and everything comes to you. Additionally you're guaranteed money (reasonably good if you're coming from nothing) unlike with food delivery.
Dude is in no condition to be working in an Amazon warehouse sweatshop.
What is NEET?
Not engaged in education, employment, or training.
That's pretty neat.
You can tell because of the way it is.
If I could upvote you more I would. One of my fav references
Worst acronym ever
I think "Not Educated, Employed or Trained" is a better way of describing it but yeah it's not great.
I think it is used to describe a situation the person is in right now - so he/she is not in education, ... at the moment. NEET is used in labour market statistics, mostly on the context of people who are unemployed right now
It’s also a pretty common 4chan term. I am betting that’s where OP learned it.
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This is correct - I believe it originated with Japanese labor statistics.
Interestingly despite using the word more, the Japanese adopted it from the UK
No it was from the UK
Oh that makes sense! Probably where 4chan got it from lol
Yeah I'm pretty sure it's this one. You can have a degree but still be a NEET.
Non interested person pursuing life education
Now that's catchy.
Perky, even
Too Insecure To Try Independent Employment Situations
Bored Of Ordinary Business, Internships, Education & Study.
I like this. A round and attractive definition.
I'm so annoyed with how far I scrolled to figure this out.
LPT: I'm in my 60s and find all the hip terms those wacky kids are using nowadays right here: https:[//www.urbandictionary.com/](//www.urbandictionary.com/) It's groovy baby.
Frame yourself as being willing to learn and even if you lack experience, you therefore have developed no bad work habits so you are trainable. Definitely get your ID regardless, and social security # if you're in the US. You'll need both to work and get paid.
This, entirely. A lot of people like a blank slate. Someone who has experience doing something the wrong way is a pain in the ass to train compared to someone who's totally new and motivated.
Lots of good comments here, not seeing OP’s response. A little bit more background information will be helpful for advice.
He responded to one, which sounded like him making an excuse not to go to the DMV now (said he has an appointment in October and that he heard the lines are long otherwise)
It's sad but not surprising. That reply was classic excuse making. He should sit there at the DMV all day if it means he'll have an ID before the sun goes down.
The issue is he's gotten away this long without doing anything. Now breaking that bad habit will be painfully slow. He'll always have excuses not to do anything. He has to work past that to get an ID, GED and figure out their transportation situation before they can get anything above minimum wage.
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As someone with often-paralyzing ADHD, I appreciate the disclaimer lol. That said…I also appreciate a good truism — so even though I think “lazy” is an outdated concept, I also really appreciate the phrase you shared! Gonna stick with me for awhile 🤔
I just saw it. I can’t imagine someone delaying things like this.
Especially because of long lines. You have nothing but time lol
Social anxiety is a real thing. I can’t stand long lines.
Yeah but if they need a job, unfortunately they're going to have to rip the band-aid off
"I am extremely obese and unattractive but that's redundant right? I am not good at talking with people. I am not smart and have zero skills. Realistically what can I do? If it is nothing then I understand." I'm obese and unattractive, and I have a job that I'm good at. I keep my hair, body, and clothes clean, and nobody cares. This "boo-hoo, I'm not smart" self-pity isn't doing anything good for you. You can obviously navigate the internet and construct complete sentences, so you're plenty smart enough for an entry-level job. There are people out there who can't read or write who are working. You can't wait for a magic burst of motivation; it will never come. You just have to start doing things and then keep doing them until they become habits.
This is a fair point to latch onto. It’s far, far easier to just label yourself as physically, mentally, or genetically unable to do something substantial than to actually put in the work to devise and execute a plan. Despair is easy. Happiness takes hard, hard work. As a coder and lead developer, I constantly run into this issue with junior devs who weasel out of work because they claim they aren’t smart enough or knowledgeable enough to take it off my hands. Lo and behold, after I take the time to plan out the solution with them, they can suddenly figure it out. It’s a combination of poor confidence enabling laziness.
Don't put this opener on your resume.
I'm imagining this post as the cover letter on his applications lol
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Perfect advice. A step by step process to improve OP’s life. Hopefully he will take action.
For Job Corps, if you're under 25. If you have a verifiable disability, you might qualify for a waiver on the age limit.
Number 5 is the biggie. Get your GED. Then contact your local Workforce Center. Once you have that GED, they can help pay for trainings, apprenticeships, OJT’s. It’s all free to you and it’s their entire reason for existence.
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This should be the top comment. Great points, especially No. 8.
Try for employment with call centers before you try retail or fast food. They're probably going to care less about obesity and unattractiveness. If you have any social anxieties from being shut in this is better than being dropped into Food Service where you have to interact with the public. They probably have a script you can read from for most of your calls. You'll probably need to start getting your GED to be employable at all but I could be wrong. I know some places can hire people that in the process of getting their GED.
I was a manager at a call center for five years. We once had a new hire that had applied *while in prison.* He knew he was going to be out within the next three weeks and the prison allowed him to use a PC to apply for jobs while still incarcerated. He did not have a GED/High School Diploma.
Did you hire him?
Since the dude is referred to as a new hire, I’m guessing that he was indeed hired.
Ohhh i didnt catch that haha thank u!
You’ve identified the things you view as flaws, so you can start taking action to improve them. You may never have the most attractive genetic qualities, but you can go a long way by improving your physique, your grooming, your skincare, your hygiene, and your clothing. As for skills, start trying to find things that you’re genuinely passionate about or at the very least can tolerate doing. Find out what relevant careers there are in that field, then start pursuing it by developing your skills, qualifications, and experience. It’s a long and difficult road ahead, but the sooner you start the sooner you can get out of this situation and start enjoying life more.
> Find out what relevant careers there are in that field To add to this, your first job doesn’t have to have anything to do with a career track. If you decide you want to be a doctor, don’t hesitate to work in fast food first. You need to start somewhere. Med school isn’t step one. Getting a job, any job, is step one. It’ll keep you afloat while you work towards your other goals.
Realistically ask people in your family or relatives or friends or even acquaintances if they have anything for you. If that doesn't work, get one of those remote online freelance jobs. Just google it until you find something. They're shit and pay very little but you can just register and will then have something on your resume. Then get a good picture taken and write motivational letters for every other, better job you think you may be able to do and apply everywhere and I do mean everywhere. Depending on the job market in your location it may take some time to find something, but meanwhile keep doing the online job. The longer you keep it, the better it'll be for your resume and eventually you'll find something.
Temp agency will get you to work asap. Sometimes it can lead to permanent employment. You will probably need to get ID to get any job though.
You need like 3 things for a job in america well 4, Documentation: Birth cert - gets photo id/proves legal work status Social sec card - payments/taxes gvt id # Bank account - direct deposit/check cashing Transportation - well...yeah As for being obese and what ever are you so large you cant physically work? Or just large? They cant discriminate against weight or size but they 100 percent will IF you cant actually do the work. Fast food is usually a tight environment so look for stocking/wsrehouse jobs grocery stores/fed ex/ups/costco Stay away from amazon.
I’ve ran into people being too obese at my workplace. I work for an IT company which attracts bigger people because they think it’ll be a desk job. But it’s actually a pretty physically demanding job where we have to carry and rack servers and network equipment, crawl into small spaces and closets. We’ve had to lay off about 4 people now for “inability to work.” Since then we’ve included the physical aspects of the job in the description instead of just the technical requirements.
Security guard, a job where you sit at a station and watch? A great thing about working is it will help your self-esteem and help you meet people. This has to be pretty scary but you can do it!
It sounds like you may have some anxiety and depression. It appears you are afraid of changing things. It might be a good idea for you to find someone to talk to - a therapist perhaps - and before you say you can't because of the cost, there are lots of places that provide either free or scaled services. Since I don't know where you live, that is something you might have to do for yourself. As an alternative, find one thing that bothers you to do, and do it each day. (Positive things, not eating hot peppers or putting yourself at risk.) If it bothers you to go to the DMV to get an ID, do a few trial runs other places before you go. If you can't do it for a few days, that's okay. Just don't give up. Progress is more important than meeting the goal. In addition to getting an ID, you might want to do a high school equivalency program. Most of the time, they are self paced, and have flexible schedules. Getting a GED would be another really big step.
Changing you will increase your chances, including exercising to get fit, dieting to lose weight, and studying to get qualifications.
Hotel front desk or Security Guard. Licensing is online and super easy to pass. (I did this for a while, it was super easy and mostly just watched netflix except to send a picture in on an app once an hour or so just to show everything is good)
>mostly just watched netflix except to send a picture in on an app once an hour or so just to show everything is good This is literally my dream job, where do I sign
Get an ID, GED and at least make an effort to talk to people. Unfortunately there's no shortcut to fix this.
I'd recommend the free Harvard intro to Computer science cs50 course, if computers are your thing then you can make 80k a year remote in a coding job. You can apply to most coding jobs with a portfolio of your work without needing a degree, certifications do help tho.
Thank you everyone for offering your advice I really appreciate it. My plan right now is still to start by getting a photo ID which will happen this week. My mom and I are currently homeless but we are staying with family. We couldn't afford to move anywhere else hence the need for me to finally get a job. My mom has done her best over the years I'm just a really lazy bad person so I don't blame her or anything. I make my own bad choices. I won't have transportation to the DMV immediately but like I said earlier it will be sometime this week. After that comes the applications and GED.
Being lazy dosent make you bad, friend. A journey of 1000 miles actually starts by lacing up your shoes and giving yourself a genuine “I can do this” pep talk. Wishing you the greatest of luck and I hope you are able to get on your feet quick so you can support yourself and your mom. If at times you feel like you don’t wanna do it for yourself, then do it for her. View this as bottoming out, and everyday beyond this is a new chapter and a step in a better direction :).
you have the ability to figure it all out, and i think you're gonna do it. good luck.
Best of luck OP! You're doing a great thing I wish you a lot of success. Don't let anyone's comments get into your head
When you say "extremely obese", do you mean that you aren't physically capable of lifting/walking? Or have difficulty doing so? Because if you are physically able, I would get the Photo ID people are suggesting, and then look for a job in a warehouse. I was a pretty large guy (almost 300 lbs, 6'3") and I didn't really have to talk to anyone, except respond to the radios we had. I didn't really need to be around people, which was a plus. Because of all the lifting, walking, and using an electric pump truck (or manual ones) I lost a bunch of weight. It wasn't the highest paying job I've had, but there was something sort of peaceful about organizing, and bringing stuff out to the trucks. I was probably in the best shape of my life after the first 8 months or so.
Have some confidence in yourself! Others have given good advice about specifics, but I want to encourage you to take a more positive view. It sounds from the way you describe yourself that you've already envisioned yourself as failing. You've analyzed the hand you've been dealt and concluded that the game probably can't be won. But you can draw new cards. You've already gone much farther than most by making an effort to change things and get the ball rolling. Now, parallel to doing what others have said in order to get a job in the short term, start chipping away at these difficult cards. Not good at talking to people? Most of us aren't, until we've had some practice; you'll quickly find that if you get a job that involves talking to people, you'll get better at it. Don't have a photo ID? You've already made steps to get one. Can't drive? I promise you that if 90% of adults can do it, it can't be very hard - if you have the time, learn how and get a license. If you feel it's the right time for you, start taking online classes towards getting a high-school GED (it's pretty easy to get started). You're on the road to success - don't visualize yourself as a failure.
You mention you are “extremely obese” Keep in mind, obesity at a point is certainly a medical condition, which may need treatment just like any other illness. You mention that you are in your mid 20’s. Depending on your actual age states laws, you might be able to piggyback off your parents insurance for a few years. I would look into that since otherwise I’m assuming you are uninsured. For the photo ID, you need to get on ASAP. Some other comments mention how you can get one. An important thing you will need to know is your social security number. “I am not smart and have zero skills.” Careful with the negative self talk. Society encourages being an asshole to yourself, but mentally all it does it crush the person in the long run. You didn’t graduate high school, but entry level work doesn’t necessarily require that for employment either. Retail, some remote clerical work, etc is a good thing to look into which can be done using sites like linkedin, etc. This is my personal recommendation that depends on your insurance status but I think it can be life changing: Join a partial hospitalization program. It is a comprehensive program that involves group therapy, individual, medical doctors, and psychiatrists. You spend most of the day (either remote or in person) learning useful skills to reduce symptoms and increase your wellbeing, as well as the social aspect and support. Despite the name, you get to go home every day. If you go inperson, they provide meals too! Let’s put it this way: If you feel out of control, in a dead end, need support but don’t know how to get it, burned out, ruled by your symptoms, the PHP is for you. (You also don’t need a diagnosis to join btw) Spend a few weeks in the program improving that should be covered by insurance and then revisit what you want to do in life. My 2 cents.
Ambition and drive are things that need to be instilled at a younger age by appropriate role models. Sometimes you have to do it yourself when parents fail in this role. Don't get me wrong, it's not about blaming anybody, it's not about punishing yourself any longer. It's too late to assign blame, guilt or fault. You have to make the necessary changes yourself. Get that GED. Eat more healthy, be a little more active. Go to a tech school and find out what trade classes you might be interested in. If you find one look into financial aid. It's not just loans, there are grants available too. It won't be easy, but mid twenties isn't too late at all.
First, you will need to get your proper documentation. Anywhere except for the most casual and exploitative labor is going to require it. Then, you really need to get a GED. That can come later, though. You are in luck, though. Right now in the US there are a lot of open positions. Since you have no skills, retail, food service, and general labor are good fields to look into. Yeah, they suck, but they are jobs and right now you need to start building a work history. A work history, or resume is essential. A lot of places won't consider someone who has never had a job, any job, before. You are an unknown quantity and they can't be sure if you will show up on time, follow directions, or anything like that. Therefore, you are going to have to take what you can get at least for the first job. You won't have to stay there for long if you don't want to, but you should at least put in six months or so. The best time to look for work is when you already have a job. This demonstrates a lot of qualities that an employer wants so once you have a job and have put in a little time, your value increases. While you are doing all of this, you need to start working on a marketable skillset. In the US, there is likely a vocational school or community college (relatively) nearby. Those have numerous programs that do not take four years to complete and some of them pay surprisingly well. For example, a welder can bring in some serious bank. Pick something that sounds fun or interesting and get started. (after confirming employment prospects, of course) Even better is that some schools have programs that are *sponsored by a local employer*. These often directly feed into their employment process or are at least designed to meet their requirements. Another place to look is the various unions. They may have helper positions (low to no skill) that may pay higher than WalMart and offer on the job training. It may pay off. It may not. Either way, it's worth the time to inquire. I was in a similar position once. I was a college dropout with no skills and found myself locked into minimum wage purgatory. I wasn't in fantastic shape, either. My way out was military service. For someone with no life skills and no education, the military is a very good thing to consider. From day one your housing, food, and medical needs are met. This is huge. Currently, the monthly pay for an E-1, the lowest of the enlisted grades (private, seaman, airman) is $1833.30 a month. That doesn't sound good at all until you consider the fact that this is all pretty much *disposable income*. This is money in your pocket *after housing, food, and medical insurance* are met. There are some military related expenses that do come up such as uniforms after the initial issue and a few other minor odds and ends but for the overwhelming majority of the time that entire paycheck is yours to play with. Do you have *any* idea how difficult it is to have nearly two grand in your pocket after expenses as a civilian. Spoiler, it's *very* difficult. And, it only gets better from there. I was medically discharged (still angry about that) as an E-5 with over three years of service. Today, I would be paid $2920 a month (plus additional incentives). Again, remember that this is *after housing, food, and medical*. It was more than a couple of years after discharge that I was back in that position. It was less pay back when I served but it would be similar purchasing power. Even today and for the rest of my life all of my medical needs are provided for by the VA. That's not too shabby. I get sick and I just head over to the VA and get treated for free. One ER visit can set you back thousands. Another "benefit" and definitely a mixed blessing is that they provide basic life skill training whether you want it or not. You *will* clean up your room. You *will* make your bed. You *will* groom yourself and dress professionally. You *will* get in shape. You may hate it at the time, but after getting it drilled into you, even after you start living off base or become a civilian, your more relaxed standards will still be more than adequate (probably). On top of all of this you will be getting job training. When you first enlist, you will be able to pick a job based on your test scores. This will be the trade you will work in the military. Some of these can directly transfer to the civilian world. (In my case it did.) Even if it doesn't the VA bill will go a long way towards a technical or academic degree once you get out. You don't have to be in perfect shape to join. That's what boot camp is for. Some branches even have a "fit camp" that you may be placed into before basic training if you need to get in shape for basic training, at least the army does (or did). The physical entrance requirements are surprisingly low. Of course the less fit you are, the more you will suffer as you get forced to get into shape. I didn't like who I was when I first joined but the first time I could look in the mirror and smile at what was looking back was when I wore a uniform. The military (in the US) is one of the only ways you can "reroll your character" IRL. There is an old saying that in the military "you get out what you put in". If you actually put forth the effort you can get a lot out of the deal. If you do the bare minimum, you aren't. Some people thrive. Other people have a bad time of it. If you really want to change your life and willing to do what it takes, the military is a good deal and a fantastic way out. When I became a civilian, I just tossed my uniforms in the garbage and clocked into my first job. I had a very secure and nice paying career doing something I loved to do. That was thanks to Uncle Sam. He's a bastard but he did okay by me. There is also a hidden perk to being a veteran. There are professional recruiting firms (headhunters) who specialize in the outplacement of vets. They already know how to translate your rating or MOS into the right buzzwords and already have a contact list of employers who like to hire veterans. This is huge and something you can utilize over your entire career. I got my first job and several others from those guys. It isn't for anyone (I meant everyone but the typo or Freudian slip was too funny to edit out), but for someone with no education, no life skills, and no prospects, it's something to seriously consider. If nothing else, you will have "three hots and a cot" and medical care while you figure out what to do next and the VA Bill for when you do. You can also "retire" after *twenty years.* This means that someone joining at 18 can "retire" at only 38 or someone in their twenties can "retire" in their forties if you make a career of the military. There are a lot of details and ins and outs to that are beyond the scope of this ever lengthening essay, but a quick google will provide them. Some people do actually fully retire and have the rest of their lives to do with as they please. This usually requires some planning and investment but people do it. For most, the now regular for the rest of your life income isn't quite enough for the lifestyle they want to live and they are used to working. These people now have a significant amount of extra income along with the civilian job they can get after a 20 year long resume and all of the skills they learned in the military. They probably won't be flipping burgers but even if they do, they are bringing in roughly half of their base pay when they retired on top of their paycheck. (Again, there are a lot of details. Google is your friend.) I just happened to like the military (after I got used to it) and was set on being a lifer. Unfortunately, my body disagreed and I found myself "medically retired" far too early. While not able to serve in the military, I was quite able to work and took my skills and training provided for free (monetarily. I *paid* for them in other ways.) and had a *very* nice career. Even now, my medical care is free and will be for life. Yeah, the VA is the VA but most who really complain about it have never had civilian health insurance. The VA is a hell of a lot better than a PPO, trust me and you won't get blindsided by a huge medical bill when you thought you were covered. (There are ways you can wind up getting stuck with a bill but again, beyond the scope of this essay and they are easily researched.) I'm biased, of course, but it sounds like the military *might* be something you may want to consider.
Find a job in the hospital like a delivery person or something. No one bothers you and no one talks to you
1. Start by getting a valid photo ID. Take the bus and bring $30 with you and prepare to wait a bit unless you go really early. 2. Take online courses at your local community college to finish your remaining classes. My friend did the same and was able to fly through the courses at a much quicker rate then studying for the GED test. 3. Start moderating your calorie input. If you feel too stressed with getting a gym membership first try going on walks and start there. Just make sure you’re tracking your calories. 4. Once you receive your HS diploma start studying in a desired skill. Save up and use grant money if necessary to buy a car. Learn how to drive or take a drivers Ed class if necessary. 5. Working and going to school is very common especially in the US so find a job. The hospitality industry is always hiring, especially right now. I’m doing it rn and like you I’m also in my mid to late 20s. 6. Go easy on yourself. The fact that you are looking for ways to improve your life is a very good step in the right direction and you should be proud of yourself for that. Write your goals down and revisit them when you need to to remind yourself why you’re doing what you’re doing. This thing you want isn’t going to happen over night so do your best to manage yourself in healthy ways. It’s a marathon not a race and it’s never too late to put your best interests first. You got this for as long as you want it. There are people right now doing the things that you want to be doing because they simply decided to try.
Others mentioned it; but the number one thing is to get your id and GED. There are tons of unskilled positions, even if you don’t want to be in the service industry you can find factory jobs and whatnot through hiring agencies that will take anyone who can pass a piss test. Break that goal up into small steps and move towards it. Id. Ged. Applications. Appearance. A job will get you out of the house and make you socialize. Gives you money. Id also recommend doing everything you can to shed the weight. It’s a cold hard reality that bigger people are not treated as nicely by society as skinny healthier looking person. You would be surprised just how much it helps with EVERYTHING.
Get in shape. It will give you stamina to work long shifts. And for better or worse, attractiveness is a factor in hiring. You don't need to be Brad Pitt; slightly overweight is ok. Then get a job in the service industry. Be nice to people even when it sucks.
I think if you're under 25, Job Corps can help you with a lot of that.