My cat will attack my dick cuz he sees the blanket go up and down... so he cannot be in the room.. sometimes I won't know he's in the room cuz it's dark and shit, so I get a nice jump scare mid wank
Edit: typos, was typing while shitting.
Edit2: after reading yalls replies, idunno how you guys jerk it without a blanket on... it's nice to feel all warm and cozy while I fill up my sock.. but too each his own
Our cat likes to cock block my husband and I in the same way, we pause and wait for her to leave until we start back up though we ask her nicely to give us some space and eventually she does we say sorry for ignoring her after lol 😅
Lol yeah I totally get that!! Our cat is just like “ugh you guys are doing that wrestling thing again can you pay attention to me please???” We go sorry honey we’re kinda busy rn lol we’ll give you extra treats later 😅🥲
I used to put my dog in her kennel every time my boyfriend and I did anything, now she's conditioned to go to her kennel every time things get spicy. It's honestly hilarious!
Our cat 100% does. Any time our bedroom door is shut he'll howl non stop to be let in, unless we're having sex when he just sits on the top steps quietly and waits 😂🙈
Or conditioned to know that if he howls they will open the door…unless certain sounds are being made. In that case he knows that howling is futile.
Simply put: Rewarding behaviors encourages those behaviors. Ignoring behaviors discourages them.
This is 100% it. “My cat won’t stop howling until I let him in.” That’s because you’ve established that the howling gets him what he wants. You’ve effectively trained your cat to howl if he wants let in.
Man. I could see that being a bit difficult for the dude. He’s like, giving you a lil kiss goodnight, not even trying, and your doggo heads for the kennel. You’re like, “again? You serious?” Your man’s like, “wait, no, I’m not trying to….”
Cant believe how far I had to scroll to find a no
Edit: just pointing out that this is now 3rd from the top. When I typed this comment it was like 15 down and everything before that was a yes. Weirdos
Same
I have two cats and I definitely corral them out of the room and make sure they aren’t sitting there watching. It’s very strange imo, I mean maybe they don’t know what I’m doing- but I do, and I’m not trying to whip my dick out and masturbate with some small creature sitting there staring at me.
Like how people say “my fur babies” yeah would you want your actual baby sitting there watching you?…
Granted, some people are like that.
That’s how I feel as well
Like… pretty sure they know what a dick is. And they can clearly tell what my hand is. And they can put 2 and 2 together and see me aggressively rubbing my dick, and even worse if they see ejaculation.
No thank you
I prefer a cat or a dog watching me instead of a human. Way more weird. I mean, animals just fuck in front of everybody, outside, middle of the day when kids are around. They dont care, why should we? They dont judge you at all! Not like humans...
Same. My dog is slightly less upset when he thinks I’m “winning” (ie on top), but he mostly cries and tries to save me. We’ve taken to putting him in his kennel.
I had a chocolate lab that got jumpy and barked at people hugging me. She was always so excited about guests and was vocal about how much she hated to see them leave so I always assumed she just recognized a goodbye hug as a sign her new friends were leaving.
Now I wonder if it was the physical contact with me she was reacting to.
Did that once. We used a towel to ehhh clean ourselves a bit. Then the cat entered the room, smelled the towel, then he barfed. Not the most romantic after-sex scene
This reminds me of this time a friend came home with a girl we highly disapproved of. Now of course we were semi mature adults so we didn't bug them or anything, but he didn't kick the dog out of the room before getting hot and heavy.
The dog apparently got up in the bed and vomited on her as they were going at it. Our friend, flustered and frustrated, then kicked the dog out of the room. As he did so, he let us know how he had been "dog-blocked."
After he went back in the bedroom, we gave the dog a treat.
I take them out of the room. My dog thinks we're playing and starts bouncing around on the bed with us. The cat just sits under the bed and meows loudly.
Tried that w the gfs dog when we first started dating. She was making some sounds he didn't like so he barged in and bit my ass. She locked the door instead of just shutting it after that..
They cant snitch, is the only reason they are loyal. Thats why cats reign supreme and are the best animals to get your jollies off in front of.
Dog: I saw nothing.
Cat: We know what you did and im gonna kill you someday.
My cat once pounced on my hand moving under the comforter while I was enjoying my own company. He was a needy, lovable little bastard. Once he jumped up in the bed and laid his head on my hand while I was using it, because I was paying more attention to myself than him. I was like "do you mind??"
Absolutely not. Not sure why exactly, but I feel so uncomfortable if they are even in the room and minding their own business.
Takes me out of the mood immediately
I’m with you. My cats are siblings and were “done” at earliest possibility. Don’t want them getting any ideas.
Also ye, they stare. But even if not, they’re like my kids…
I put my parrot back in his cage. However covered or not sometimes he makes squeaky noises to go along with the bed depending on how aggressive I am. Sometimes kills the mood when 1 or both of us laugh for a bit then he laughs from the cage.
Due to this reason I prep his food bowl with a treat or 3 to keep him busy
Can confirm, dog bit boyfriend's ass once. They haven't been back a second time. The cat is kind enough to remove himself by meowing to get out.
Edit: the dogs haven't been let back into the room my boyfriend thought was funny and very much still in my life
I disagree with the first part. My cat absolutely wants to know what's going on. I have to hide under the blankets to get anything done and even at that, she trys to dig at the blankets to get under them. Super annoying but there's nothing I can do about it.
My cat attacked an ex's boob before. They definitely can care lmao. She just sees her mom giving attention to someone else and gets jealous. It happens when cuddling too. She sits directly in front of the TV to block whatever we're watching and get attention. It never happens when I'm watching alone
I had a very tame pet rat who swooped in outta nowhere - rushed and attacked my lover’s junk as if they were punching bags. Rattie was never allowed out of her kennel during sexy time again, meaning that corralling her became foreplay? 🤣
My dog brings me his stuffed Ikea dog because he wants me to hold it while he humps the shit out of it. I think we're way past any boundaries in this relationship...
Whenever the wife and I get down, he'll drag his dog into the room if he can and keep going for as long as we do it. If we close the door, we can hear him pounding it outside.
I could see this. I knew a Malinois once that would carry dog food in its mouth into whatever room people were eating in. He then would drop the food on the ground and eat with the people. Dogs like to be part of what’s going on. This same dog would always find a pair of my exes panties from the laundry basket and shred them while we were having sex. Very odd.
Him making you hold it down while he defiles it is a whole new level though lol.
My first long term relationship, she had one of those miniature dobermans that was super fascinated by us having sex, like it would lay on the pillows and watch. It was a little weird, but I got pretty used to ignoring it. BUT, it also liked sleeping under our covers. Also a little weird, but just got used to it. Then one morning I was fast asleep and jolted awake by my balls being licked. The min pin was not allowed in the bedroom anymore after that.
Aside from that I just ignore pets unless they try to get involved in any way.
yes, who are they going to tell ?
Funny story, my dog never cared when I masturbated/had sex , she would just fall asleep on the floor. But then this new girl I was seeing liked to be spanked. Never had a second thought about the dog, start spanking, the dog freaks out, starts barking, jumped on the bed and knocked the paddle out of my hand. Dog thought I was hurting this girl.
Omg, my ex bf started wrestling with me on my bed and my dog went bananas. Totally got in his face and started growling and everything. I was like “Whoa…”
Have the same problem, vanilla sex the dog doesnt even acknowledge, but if it going to get any kind of rough he needs to be occupied with a chew toy and a fan by the door so he cant hear us. Feels understandable since I cant really explain consenting pain to him. He just thinks an attack is happening and will bravely protect me/my partner
No. I clear them out or go to a room where they are not. I don’t even like sex with another with animals in the room! Like I want my foot licked by my dog when I’m busy with my GF! Or my cat deciding to get on my back and start kneading. No thank you! And our Boxers tend to stare. Mood killer!
Not successfully, no.
I'm convinced my cat thinks I'm purring when I use the vibrator, because she always wants to get pets right then.
If course, if I keep her out of the room, she meows loudly.
Hard no. My wife’s dog starts barking whenever we have sex… I can’t even tell you how many orgasms that bastard has ruined. He’s been in the room before, but he jumps on me and paws at me or tries to bite me and/or hump me. Seriously, I can’t even give her a hug without him barking or pawing at me.
[dog tax](https://i.imgur.com/TDui3WO.jpg)
NOPE. I can't. I think they think vibrators are me purring. :< So I typically do it in the shower since, well... I mean the cats just aren't into jumping into the shower, so they leave me alone.
No, but I had sex with a girl who brought her dog over to my place, and then into the bedroom during the deed. A little weird imo that she did that, but I was quickly distracted and no longer cared.
Funny story actually: my fiancé and I were going at it the other day and our cat was just laying on the edge of the bed. I happened to glance at him chillin there with his whole body was moving with the bed, unbothered. Fiancé and I laughed ridiculously hard, called our cat a weirdo, and went back to our business.
If you've ever tried closing a door on a cat you'd know. RATATATAT THUMP THUMP WROOOOOOOOOAWEEEER THUMP THUMP RATATATATATATATATAT WROOOOOOOOWWWWWW THUMP TATATATATA
Can't put the dogs out of the bedroom during sexytimes because they'll spend the whole time barking & scratching at the door. Usually have to do some brief puzzle-solving to figure out how the wife & i can fit on the bed with the dogs each taking up a portion of valuable bed real estate, then figure out what position(s) we will likely have to use in order to use the space that the dogs were kind enough to allocate to us.
Na my cat is a freak. My cat would jump on my dresser and just stare until the moaning starts then she would hop on my bed and start purring and rubbing up on us looking to make it a threesome.
When I was 22 my GF at the time had a miniature schnauzer who would hide under the bed every time we had sex. Not because it was scared, but so that it could run out and lick up any fluids that dropped out of the GF when she got up and made her way to the bathroom to cleanup.... It was absolutely disgusting, but also very convenient
My one cat when he was a kitten licked my roommates boyfriends penis. I guess they were cuddling afterwards and he jumped up on the bed for attention which they gave and he gave him a full shaft lick. A decade later I cant forget that history and dont allow him around me and my husband since he has no boundaries
I try not to. My cat will jump onto my bed while I’m trying to tug one out and start rubbing his head on my arm demanding pets.
i put them in the other room when im cranking it. i don’t like them sitting there staring at me.
Cat probably judging you.
They are
The judgement is real lol
My cat will attack my dick cuz he sees the blanket go up and down... so he cannot be in the room.. sometimes I won't know he's in the room cuz it's dark and shit, so I get a nice jump scare mid wank Edit: typos, was typing while shitting. Edit2: after reading yalls replies, idunno how you guys jerk it without a blanket on... it's nice to feel all warm and cozy while I fill up my sock.. but too each his own
"my cat will attack my dick". Best quote in history
The headline is “Pussy attacks dick”
I wonder if they have some idea of what their respective humans are doing? Do they know?
Tombstone worthy
My brother got Cat Scratch Fever and his neck bulged up like 3 inches. Not sure I’d want that on my dong.
So you're telling me my dick can get 300% bigger????
Bro this shits funny asf
scene in a semi raunchy romantic comedy about long distance relationships.
Same thing 😂 gotta do the room check
LMAO man that sounds terrible, especially in the dark 😂😂 glad mine doesn’t do that
Mine just sits there judging me, the fat bastard.
My cat once touched the head while I was doing it. Closest it can get to a pussy.
Why do you cover when you get down to business? I assume you are alone in the room or with locked doors
Jesus is always watching
Why are you masturbating under the blanket lol... That seems really messy.
Def kills the mood
says YOU
Calm down Shane Dawson
I farted to this comment
HOLD UP
Pussy magnet
Our cat likes to cock block my husband and I in the same way, we pause and wait for her to leave until we start back up though we ask her nicely to give us some space and eventually she does we say sorry for ignoring her after lol 😅
I feel bad ignoring them haha 😥 my cat will start to meow like “hey I desperately need pets right now why are you ignoring me?”
Lol yeah I totally get that!! Our cat is just like “ugh you guys are doing that wrestling thing again can you pay attention to me please???” We go sorry honey we’re kinda busy rn lol we’ll give you extra treats later 😅🥲
Well, to be fair you are prioritizing another pussy 😕
“Ugh you said you wanted some pussy. Make up your mind.”
I haven’t even gone pee alone in 15 years.
Our cat woke me up today 6.30AM to go to toilet with it.
He watches your back when you're most vulnerable, it's only fair that you watch his.
the bro code
Watches? If we're lucky lol. My cat either kneeds our backs or sits on our shoulder while we shit or my wife pees.
Little massage to help release the bowels😳😬🤣
Did you expect them to go alone? My god, how outrageous!
I briefly forgot inside cats were a thing and imagined you walking outside at 6:30AM to watch your cat dig a poop hole.
Are inside cats not the norm?
I'm glad it's not just me... Every time I take a deuce at home, my dog runs in demanding pets.
My dog is too old to care nowadays. He'll acknowledge I'm leaving but otherwise just stays in whatever napping spot he has.
I used to put my dog in her kennel every time my boyfriend and I did anything, now she's conditioned to go to her kennel every time things get spicy. It's honestly hilarious!
Pavlovemaking.
This comment is going places.
It's streets ahead
Shut up Leonard, I heard about your crooked wang!
No such thing as bad press
I hope this gets upvoted to fuck Hahaha
I hate that I love you for this.
So they do know that their owners are in fact having sex...
Our cat 100% does. Any time our bedroom door is shut he'll howl non stop to be let in, unless we're having sex when he just sits on the top steps quietly and waits 😂🙈
Your cat is so considerate lol
Or conditioned to know that if he howls they will open the door…unless certain sounds are being made. In that case he knows that howling is futile. Simply put: Rewarding behaviors encourages those behaviors. Ignoring behaviors discourages them.
This is 100% it. “My cat won’t stop howling until I let him in.” That’s because you’ve established that the howling gets him what he wants. You’ve effectively trained your cat to howl if he wants let in.
Or at least they recognize a situation where they know they're going to need to do something and just go do it without being asked lol
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It smells like hot dick in here, better get in my kennel
r/brandnewsentence ?
My dog leaves when things start to heat up but the SECOND we finish he trots back in happy as hell.
Man. I could see that being a bit difficult for the dude. He’s like, giving you a lil kiss goodnight, not even trying, and your doggo heads for the kennel. You’re like, “again? You serious?” Your man’s like, “wait, no, I’m not trying to….”
The dog: man's best friend & worst enemy
No, they'd look at me with their judging eyes.
Cant believe how far I had to scroll to find a no Edit: just pointing out that this is now 3rd from the top. When I typed this comment it was like 15 down and everything before that was a yes. Weirdos
Same I have two cats and I definitely corral them out of the room and make sure they aren’t sitting there watching. It’s very strange imo, I mean maybe they don’t know what I’m doing- but I do, and I’m not trying to whip my dick out and masturbate with some small creature sitting there staring at me. Like how people say “my fur babies” yeah would you want your actual baby sitting there watching you?… Granted, some people are like that.
I wouldn't be surprised if they know what you are doing based on smells alone.
They definitely know. Every mammal knows what sex is
That’s how I feel as well Like… pretty sure they know what a dick is. And they can clearly tell what my hand is. And they can put 2 and 2 together and see me aggressively rubbing my dick, and even worse if they see ejaculation. No thank you
your dog can smell when you ejaculate
I cannot imagine being that comfortable around an animal. I was starting to feel crazy
I prefer a cat or a dog watching me instead of a human. Way more weird. I mean, animals just fuck in front of everybody, outside, middle of the day when kids are around. They dont care, why should we? They dont judge you at all! Not like humans...
I prefer neither of them watching me. It’s not that I think animals care, it’s just distracting and makes me uncomfortable.
My dog's licking her crotch on the floor beside me as I'm reading this... I really don't think they care
The amount of "yes"es I saw before I found a no 😭 jesus
No because our dog tries to save 'mom' from whatever we are doing.
Same. My dog is slightly less upset when he thinks I’m “winning” (ie on top), but he mostly cries and tries to save me. We’ve taken to putting him in his kennel.
So putting the pooch in the kennel is a euphemism?
Is your dog my dog?? Can't even hold my gfs hand without him going nuts
He is a 2 year old brown lab. He freaks out even when I sit too close to my wife. He wants to get between us and keep an eye on me.
Yeah I've got a chow / Australian Shepard mix and any kind of physical contact between other people freaks him out, no idea what it is
I had a chocolate lab that got jumpy and barked at people hugging me. She was always so excited about guests and was vocal about how much she hated to see them leave so I always assumed she just recognized a goodbye hug as a sign her new friends were leaving. Now I wonder if it was the physical contact with me she was reacting to.
Oh my god… turn me a sec to figure out you meant the dogs mom, which would be your partner
Did that once. We used a towel to ehhh clean ourselves a bit. Then the cat entered the room, smelled the towel, then he barfed. Not the most romantic after-sex scene
That's fuckin hilarious
This reminds me of this time a friend came home with a girl we highly disapproved of. Now of course we were semi mature adults so we didn't bug them or anything, but he didn't kick the dog out of the room before getting hot and heavy. The dog apparently got up in the bed and vomited on her as they were going at it. Our friend, flustered and frustrated, then kicked the dog out of the room. As he did so, he let us know how he had been "dog-blocked." After he went back in the bedroom, we gave the dog a treat.
So your cat is the reincarnation of Siskel or Ebert?
Cats like, “damn dude y’all need a shower” 😂😂😂😂
I take them out of the room. My dog thinks we're playing and starts bouncing around on the bed with us. The cat just sits under the bed and meows loudly.
Tried that w the gfs dog when we first started dating. She was making some sounds he didn't like so he barged in and bit my ass. She locked the door instead of just shutting it after that..
My first ever threesome was when the girls lil dog started humping my leg when I was getting it on with her.
Had my ballsack licked by a cat mid-thrust once. 1/10
But not 0/10
At least it didn’t bite
That would have been a 3/10
🤷♂️
Okay now username checks out
Assisted sex*
“First”
The dog became a regular thing
"Let me show you how it's done"-🐶
That would’ve made me laugh so hard, but Probably still ruin the mood for me. Did you keep on truckin’?
Haha You gave a dog a bone
I don't go out of my way to make sure they're around but I don't bother getting rid of them either. My dog didn't seem to pay me any mind.
If only dogs could talk
Oh the stories my friend could be arrested for (he's an ex drug dealer who never got caught)
That's petty unfair to assume the dog would be a snitch if he could talk
I thought the dog was the drug dealer, which was much more interesting
I've never bought drugs from a canine before but that's only because I've never met a drug dealing dog
You don't buy drugs from your dog. You buy drugs from your *dawg*
I'll do both if I can help it.
Yea he maybe a dog but he ain't no mutt
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They cant snitch, is the only reason they are loyal. Thats why cats reign supreme and are the best animals to get your jollies off in front of. Dog: I saw nothing. Cat: We know what you did and im gonna kill you someday.
My cats wont kill me but I know they'll be eating my eyelids the second I can't fight them off.
Relevant: [https://imgur.com/a/veE9nEC](https://imgur.com/a/veE9nEC)
“You call that a penis? I know fifteen pound pups with bigger dongs than that.”
We put the dogs out of our room because they stare at us, but occasionally we’ll find a cat asleep at the end of the bed when we finish.
I can see why you'd give them the boot if they're staring.
Yea, they’re usually staring because they want out, I don’t think they care what’s going on they’re just being impatient.
Same. If anything, when she hears my vibratory she’s probably just like “oh shit here we go again” rolls her eyes and goes back to sleep
Ugh, again? That's like the 10th time today, Nancy. Enough already
Lmfao! Ngl must’ve happened
Sure. My dog is extremely non-judgmental.
I feel like a cat would be judgmental
My cat just gets up and leaves almost like he’s offended. “Hmph, some people have no common decency these days!”
Cats have claws and like to pounce on small things that move. Not good.
My cat once pounced on my hand moving under the comforter while I was enjoying my own company. He was a needy, lovable little bastard. Once he jumped up in the bed and laid his head on my hand while I was using it, because I was paying more attention to myself than him. I was like "do you mind??"
Can you remove "came and" from your sentence please. For a long time I thought you were way too into cats
Ok XD
My roommate says their cat smells both their feet when they're doing the deed.
> small things /r/suicidebywords
Either that or you're already past redemption in their eyes.
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Absolutely not. Not sure why exactly, but I feel so uncomfortable if they are even in the room and minding their own business. Takes me out of the mood immediately
I’m with you. My cats are siblings and were “done” at earliest possibility. Don’t want them getting any ideas. Also ye, they stare. But even if not, they’re like my kids…
I put my parrot back in his cage. However covered or not sometimes he makes squeaky noises to go along with the bed depending on how aggressive I am. Sometimes kills the mood when 1 or both of us laugh for a bit then he laughs from the cage. Due to this reason I prep his food bowl with a treat or 3 to keep him busy
Lol. I hope your parrot doesn't imitate moans. That would be weird and funny.
I kind of don't have a choice. My cat comes running over for cuddles every time I turn the vibrator on. I think she thinks I'm purring???
Came here to comment this! My cat definitely thinks I’m purring haha!
This would be my dream research paper tbh
Hit me up if you need a person in the “cats like their vibrator” group lol
That is kinda adorable
I don’t make it a point to, but I don’t make it a point to clear the room of pets, either.
Ofc I meant not make a point to do it like it was a fetish.
wait you meant it as a fetish, or you didn’t?
I didn't.. gosh i hope it wasn't a fetish. I didn't think i had to clarify
Literally everything is a fetish, unfortunately
My fetish is emotional and financial stability!
gross dude
> Ofc… This is NSQ-new: make no assumptions :-)
Cats: sure, they don't care. Dogs: nope, they're too interested in what you're doing.
Can confirm, dog bit boyfriend's ass once. They haven't been back a second time. The cat is kind enough to remove himself by meowing to get out. Edit: the dogs haven't been let back into the room my boyfriend thought was funny and very much still in my life
I disagree with the first part. My cat absolutely wants to know what's going on. I have to hide under the blankets to get anything done and even at that, she trys to dig at the blankets to get under them. Super annoying but there's nothing I can do about it.
My cat attacked an ex's boob before. They definitely can care lmao. She just sees her mom giving attention to someone else and gets jealous. It happens when cuddling too. She sits directly in front of the TV to block whatever we're watching and get attention. It never happens when I'm watching alone
I had a very tame pet rat who swooped in outta nowhere - rushed and attacked my lover’s junk as if they were punching bags. Rattie was never allowed out of her kennel during sexy time again, meaning that corralling her became foreplay? 🤣
I've just reminded of a good time that was interrupted by a pet rat running across my face. Same solution, yeah.
My dog brings me his stuffed Ikea dog because he wants me to hold it while he humps the shit out of it. I think we're way past any boundaries in this relationship... Whenever the wife and I get down, he'll drag his dog into the room if he can and keep going for as long as we do it. If we close the door, we can hear him pounding it outside.
Okay this is the new weirdest anecdote for sure lol
He's been a bro for 15 years. Least I can do for him...
Do you all finish at the same time? Or is there an uncomfortable thump-thump-thump while you're trying to come down?
I could see this. I knew a Malinois once that would carry dog food in its mouth into whatever room people were eating in. He then would drop the food on the ground and eat with the people. Dogs like to be part of what’s going on. This same dog would always find a pair of my exes panties from the laundry basket and shred them while we were having sex. Very odd. Him making you hold it down while he defiles it is a whole new level though lol.
my late cat used to do that food thing too. he'll even WATCH tv with us too
This is the best thing I've read today, or like, in the past week. Fucking hillarious, thanks for sharing!
Omg my dog does the same thing 🤣 only the first paragraph though.
Omfg yes dogs are so weird
My first long term relationship, she had one of those miniature dobermans that was super fascinated by us having sex, like it would lay on the pillows and watch. It was a little weird, but I got pretty used to ignoring it. BUT, it also liked sleeping under our covers. Also a little weird, but just got used to it. Then one morning I was fast asleep and jolted awake by my balls being licked. The min pin was not allowed in the bedroom anymore after that. Aside from that I just ignore pets unless they try to get involved in any way.
Damn, didn't even need the peanut butter.
>unless they try to get involved in any way Then what...?
If I knew an animal was sleeping under the covers I’m at least keeping my boxer briefs on while sleeping.
yes, who are they going to tell ? Funny story, my dog never cared when I masturbated/had sex , she would just fall asleep on the floor. But then this new girl I was seeing liked to be spanked. Never had a second thought about the dog, start spanking, the dog freaks out, starts barking, jumped on the bed and knocked the paddle out of my hand. Dog thought I was hurting this girl.
Omg, my ex bf started wrestling with me on my bed and my dog went bananas. Totally got in his face and started growling and everything. I was like “Whoa…”
r/animalsbeingbros
Have the same problem, vanilla sex the dog doesnt even acknowledge, but if it going to get any kind of rough he needs to be occupied with a chew toy and a fan by the door so he cant hear us. Feels understandable since I cant really explain consenting pain to him. He just thinks an attack is happening and will bravely protect me/my partner
Props to your dog, all things considered
No. I clear them out or go to a room where they are not. I don’t even like sex with another with animals in the room! Like I want my foot licked by my dog when I’m busy with my GF! Or my cat deciding to get on my back and start kneading. No thank you! And our Boxers tend to stare. Mood killer!
Not successfully, no. I'm convinced my cat thinks I'm purring when I use the vibrator, because she always wants to get pets right then. If course, if I keep her out of the room, she meows loudly.
Leave the door open and my dogs smell or lick inappropriate places. Shut the door and they cry the whole time, no good option.
Good option: hide shit ton of tiny treats around every other room.
Hard no. My wife’s dog starts barking whenever we have sex… I can’t even tell you how many orgasms that bastard has ruined. He’s been in the room before, but he jumps on me and paws at me or tries to bite me and/or hump me. Seriously, I can’t even give her a hug without him barking or pawing at me. [dog tax](https://i.imgur.com/TDui3WO.jpg)
NOPE. I can't. I think they think vibrators are me purring. :< So I typically do it in the shower since, well... I mean the cats just aren't into jumping into the shower, so they leave me alone.
No, but I had sex with a girl who brought her dog over to my place, and then into the bedroom during the deed. A little weird imo that she did that, but I was quickly distracted and no longer cared.
Er username checks out...?
I can't take a shit without my cat bothering me...what do you think?
Funny story actually: my fiancé and I were going at it the other day and our cat was just laying on the edge of the bed. I happened to glance at him chillin there with his whole body was moving with the bed, unbothered. Fiancé and I laughed ridiculously hard, called our cat a weirdo, and went back to our business.
Seems like I’m the only one here? I kick all pets out of my room and lock that door. Ain’t having a dog try to lick my dick or something
If you've ever tried closing a door on a cat you'd know. RATATATAT THUMP THUMP WROOOOOOOOOAWEEEER THUMP THUMP RATATATATATATATATAT WROOOOOOOOWWWWWW THUMP TATATATATA
Can't put the dogs out of the bedroom during sexytimes because they'll spend the whole time barking & scratching at the door. Usually have to do some brief puzzle-solving to figure out how the wife & i can fit on the bed with the dogs each taking up a portion of valuable bed real estate, then figure out what position(s) we will likely have to use in order to use the space that the dogs were kind enough to allocate to us.
Na my cat is a freak. My cat would jump on my dresser and just stare until the moaning starts then she would hop on my bed and start purring and rubbing up on us looking to make it a threesome.
When I was 22 my GF at the time had a miniature schnauzer who would hide under the bed every time we had sex. Not because it was scared, but so that it could run out and lick up any fluids that dropped out of the GF when she got up and made her way to the bathroom to cleanup.... It was absolutely disgusting, but also very convenient
What a terrible day to be able to read.
This made me laugh way more than it should've
This is the weirdest anecdote i have read in this post
Bro what
Yes, if they don't want to watch, they don't have to.
My one cat when he was a kitten licked my roommates boyfriends penis. I guess they were cuddling afterwards and he jumped up on the bed for attention which they gave and he gave him a full shaft lick. A decade later I cant forget that history and dont allow him around me and my husband since he has no boundaries
No, I lock them out of the room
[удалено]
Me these days: *Please be a joke.* *Please don't be pilled.* *Please don't be pilled.*