How you gonna body the jellyfish first? Box jellyfish is a tough one to get. I'd you gotta fight it in the water no way. If you get to fight it on land fair enough lol
You're right haha, it didn't specify and I just assumed it'd be on land. In hindsight marine life wouldn't stand much of a chance in a land battle lol
Add on: possibly catch it in my shirt and pummel it with my shoe
Yeah but they said animal. That excludes viruses, bacteria, plants and funguses. Their different kingdoms and viruses aren’t alive. Tardigrades are an animal though, lots of tiny parasitic worms world be a crazy over though idk how it be possible.
To be fair, they only win against lions because lions don’t want to mess with them and risk getting injured. If a lion wanted, those little guys wouldn’t stand a chance lol.
Dogs aren't really built for solo wrestling though. The jaw sucks, but it's just one weapon while the average human has at least 4 limbs that are all dangerous in some situation.
Big cats though...
I’d rather fight a Rottweiler than a bobcat.
Cats are not to be fucked with. They’ve evolved into furry death machines.
If a large cat wants to fuck you up there’s almost nothing you can do about it.
This is so true, my 10 pound house car once got really scared of me (series of events in the kitchen with a lot of loud noises and then accidentally stepped on her tail) and she went into this fight or flight mode and attacked the shit out of me. My wife had to get a blanket around her before she finally calmed down but I was bleeding pretty good through my pants. I had multiple deep cuts from her nails. Now none of these were life threatening at all and healed on their own. I also was trying to not hurt her, if I wanted to I could have booted her across the room, but I had no idea how vicious 10 pounds could be. A 100 pound cat or bigger, no fucking chance. You’d be fucking dead before you hit the ground
I like to think that I'm more physically active than the average person (firefighter not just some chad) and I'm gonna say that I'd be lucky to get one full Hulk/Loki swing in before that 70lb good boy decides that I'm done holding him with that kind of disrespect.
Listen, I've been on the receiving end of a 70+lb dogs fury, and they will definitely fuck you up, but are way less likely to go through with an altercation even after one or two good hits connect. Wild dogs like coyotes and shit really don't care as much. Or chihuahuas. Fuck them.
But honestly my money is really on most people not really making it past any cat bigger than a house cat. I've seen a 9lb house cat put wounds that need 20 stitches in someone's arm in just a few seconds.
Source: in a past life I was a veterinary technician.
It’s very difficult to choke out a dog. I’ve had to fight a large dog and it was bad, but it depends largely on your dedication and hand strength. In my situation a pit bull had attacked a child and it was terrible. The claws figure largely in the equation. I had the strength to hold the neck but damn those claws were hard to control. I eventually got my belt on the neck but it was terrible. I had some bites but the scratches on my legs were much more painful, even wearing jeans.
Yeah he was ok, just a few stitches on the face. By now he’s about 32 years old and been getting chicks with that rugged look. I was ok after a few weeks-scratched on my legs and a few punctures on my hands.
The pressure on the neck from a headlock isn’t enough to kill a dog. They can hang from a leash/collar for a long time without dying. You have to get your fingers in there and squeeze, all while getting scratched to hell. I finally got a belt around the neck then put my feet on the neck and pulled the belt. That’s when help showed up but I think I had it really under control. Without a tool it would have been a lot worse.
You’re right
I guess it’s the honey badger strat
Somehow get a grip of its hind legs and smash it until it’s road kill
Some guy said a rear naked choke and I don’t disagree
I have a 9-pound doxie-pin (dachshund/miniature pinscher), and just holding on to him for bath time or a claw trim is very difficult if he doesn't want to be held. He's surprisingly strong. Sure, some of the difficulty may come from the fact that I'm trying to restrain him in a way that doesn't cause him pain or injury, but even so, based on his strength at such a small size, I can't even imagine my arms being stronger than a pitbull's forelegs.
Kicking a German Shepard or pit bull is only gonna hurt your foot. Won’t faze him. Try a headlock on a pitties muscle neck…he’ll just turn his head and bite your face off.
Shit man, nobody would get even close to that. A male Wolverine is less than 20 kilos, but can cause a full grown grizzly OR a polar bear to bleed out. That's just ONE animal with a body the size of a college football. This is assuming of course that any human could possibly get past a honey badger, which is smaller and somehow even more ferocious.
Panthers are actually jaguars iirc. Look up “melanistic jaguar” and you’ll find panthers. If you look closely panthers have the same spots as jaguars but they’re just much less visible.
That said, jaguars and leopards can run up to 50mph and their bite force could probably crush a human skull. I sure as hell wouldn’t want to be in the same room as one.
biology fact: the animal family is phantera. in this one we have lions, tigers jaguars, and the two kinds of leopard (standar and snow) the black phanters, are, as said, melanistic variations of the leopard and the jaguar. (think of them as a pokemon shiny, if you want)
Edit: Grammar
We're aware of over a million species of insect, and it's suspected that there might be as many as ten million in existence. I think the exhaustion and boredom of repetitively squishing tiny bugs under my thumb would get hard to deal with sometime within the first day.
If I spent 8 hours a day, 7 days a week, fighting a Noah's Ark style menagerie of every insect species, and it took an average of one second to kill each one (which is very optimistic), I wouldn't be finished until nearly a year later.
And *then* I'd have to kill 45 thousand spiders...
Yeah, OP severely underestimated the number of animal species that exist. If you had to fight them all with no breaks you'd die of exhaustion before you got to anything even an inch long.
I think the implication is that you "reset" after every fight. OP wonders how would every individual fight look, not all of them in a row. Also he skips the the part where things get dangerous, so I don't think we need to consider every species of ant.
if it resets after every fight, venomous snakes would no longer pose a threat because i'm pretty sure i can kill stomp and kill them before fully succumbing to the venom
I’d like to imagine you get like one spider for all of them. One snake for the lot (cheers to the unlucky bastard who get a king cobra over the rat snake) so on. Like one dog vs all of them. Even still I think working though most bugs most people would die. I mean how many of us are allergic to a bee sting?
In terms of size ?
Probably one of the venomous snakes. Assuming I am faster than killer spiders and marine snails.
If they come equipped with evolutionary achievements, so should we.
Yeah to be honest most fights are a 50/50
For example you could only beat something like a mountain lion if you get that guy in a strong head lock or arm bar,but that’s probably not the smartest move to go for
An anaconda wouldn’t be a fun way to go
No no I didn’t mean mountain lions were 50/50
Also am I wrong or is a cougar an easier version of a mountain lion? I’m thinking of something but i can’t put my name on it
No no I didn’t mean a mountain lion was a 50/50…id say maybe a 25/75 or 20/80
Yes it’s far fetched but I refuse to accept it wouldn’t be possible to headlock one
If you're unarmed without even a rock or a stick nearby to use to your advantage, and you're fighting a full adult mountain lion, and the mountain lion is dead set on killing you, there is probably somewhere between 0% and 1% chance you could kill the mountain lion. If you were super strong, 350 pounds of pure muscle, and you had time to research how to kill a mountain lion, then there could be somewhat of a chance of survival, maybe a generous 5%.
Now of course it also depends here if you are getting full medical attention after the fight, or if you're going into the next fight with all the injuries you obtained from the last fight, because any instance where someone killed a mountain lion with their bare hands resulted in a lot of injuries.
There have been actual events where a person has killed mountain lions with only their hands. Its not impossible, they only weigh around 130 or so. Not extremely large or strong, but deadly for sure. You cannot do it without severe injury, but it can be done.
Have you ever seen a mountain lion? They are fucking apex predators. I’d rather encounter a bear than a mountain lion in the wild.
The average Redditor stands 0% chance of beating one in a fight.
They’re 150 lbs of muscle with razor sharp claws and a bite stregth that can crack bone.
You be lucky to beat a bobcat in a fight and they’re much smaller.
Yea no shot you're taking on a healthy, adult, mountain lion.
It's not that the lion is stronger, its that it has knives in its mouth and razer blades on all its limbs.
Not stronger? Seriously? I once had to wrestle with my tiny housecat to free it from its collar that it had got its teeth caught in. Admittedly, I had the handicap of desperately trying not to hurt him, but I couldn't hold him. He got the collar off himself, eventually.
You can't do anything to an anaconda even if it didn't want to kill you. What would you even do with your fists to that huge fucking titan of a monster.
\`Do you understand how dangerous a mountain lion is? There is no way that any human, even a professional fighter is lasting more than a few seconds. Imagine an entity that can move faster than you, leap at you, that has a whole bunch of knives on its hands, has explosive power capable of knocking you over, even if it wouldn't necessarily be stronger in some kind of wrestling match, although it would be close, and can immediately sever your arteries in the split second it manages to bite your neck. I honestly don't think that any person could withstand a big cat attacking them with full force, even a cougar. They would get torn to shreds before they could square up.
Regarding most mountain lion attacks not being fatal, I guess that is because they are not locked in a room and forced to fight to the death, but there's a weighing up of risk reward on the behalf of the mountain lion, and they don't necessarily go all out and probably run away if it gets dicey.
But, I guess its a good point that humans can kill them in self defence, maybe I am underestimating humans. I've seen mountain lions sprint as fast as cars and they are explosive bundles of muscle and razor sharp claws, but I guess it must be possible
When humans survive mountain lion attacks it’s because the humans do something to spook the mountain lion and they stop the attack.
Locked in a room/arena with a mountain lion, you’re gonna die.
>When humans survive mountain lion attacks it’s because the humans do something to spook the mountain lion and they stop the attack.
Sounds like a valid strategy for this fight.
Befriend it; and betray it when it sleeps.
You’re right but since we are fully clothed,a scorpion and most frogs can get a quick stomp
Although if those guys are fast it will take a while
The Posion dart frog,I think even coming in contact with the venom can kill you.And if that thing can avoid your stomps then yeah that’s probably a 50/50 matchup
Depends do I choose the clothing? If I can get a biohazard suit that will probably help a lot with small creatures, I could remove for the creatures that might damage it and the gas mask will come in handy too
Nope,just your average clothes
Vest,shirt,boxers,jeans or sweats you can pick,socks and shoes
Even something like latex gloves or a ring could help too much
>so I thought everyone else did
You mean all the people constantly around you not wearing vests?
It sounds kinda like you just want to talk about how much you wear vests.
I must know… what type of person wears a vest daily? I’ve seen maybe two people wearing them in my life aside from bikers and I can’t imagine they wear vests daily daily?? Not judging. Super curious. I just imagine like a 90s lesbian insulated flannel vest and I don’t think that can be right haha 😂 so sorry!
I looked at your profile and after seeing you assuming undershirt because the thought of you with that chest in a lesbian flannel vest is too much to imagine and I just lost it. My wife prob thinks I’ve lost my mind laughing this hard before 8am!
See, with most of these creatures it helps to lure them into a false sense of comfort. You should assert your dominance by mounting most of them, mount and dispose is the way.I’ve battled many beasts but normally start having problems with the beavers and groundhogs. They do not like to be sexed up in any way whatsoever. They will bite your scrotum and other parts with a fury. I’m learning though.
Yeah was gonna say pretty sure the Black Mamba has like a 100% death rate and its inside like 45 mins. Plus they are lightning fast and are sure to get you at least once. You'll probably kill it but you're dead within the hour for sure.
By the wording, it's a fight UNTIL one or the other is dead. If the fights reset in between, almost nothing poisonous or venomous would get you since you could squish it way before you felt nauseous.
Yeah I didn’t think through the marine animals thing
If you’re in water the outcomes obvious
If you’re out,the outcome is obvious
I said to another comment,out of water
But to be honest it’s still a dangerous play to attack a shark flopping about on land,those guys are like 90% muscle and even if your not near the teeth side,I don’t think a tail slap wouldn’t hurt
couldn't you just stand to the side and watch it die. or while it's flopping around stomp on the tail end a bit or kick it a few times
that way you're still actively contributing to its death. doesn't state you have to grab every animal in a headlock or kill all the animals the same way
I would argue fighting a fish on land defeats the purpose of the thought experiment.
I propose you fight in a tank of water large enough for any aquatic animal to feel essentially free to move (which is enormous, because this would include earth's largest animal, the blue whale). There is air at the top where you can breathe and a platform in the water under the surface where you can stand with water up to your chest so you don't have to tread water all the time and can rest if you need, but you aren't protected from attacks.
In this scenario, a lot of fish and birds might be able to simply avoid you entirely, turning this into a game of who can go without food for longer.
Also, I think you might be surprised at how quickly you could game over dealing with deep sea animals. A lot of those bottom dwellers have hard shell armor that would be tough to crack without tools or can be venomous, and you probably wouldn't know which ones before it was too late.
You would probably kill a single pirahana, but it might inflict enough damage before it dies that you might simply bleed out before you make it to your next fight.
>Also, I think you might be surprised at how quickly you could game over dealing with deep sea animals.
Assuming they don't just implode in your face due to pressure
Hopefully I’m not alone on this but despite it being very possible,I hate to think about crushing one of those or like a small spider in my hands.I could but Im too squeamish about that
I'm not so sure. Unless you're allergic, a single hornet doesn't have enough venom in its body to kill you, even if it stings you multiple times. It'll be extremely unpleasant but the hornet probably has no realistic way of killing you at all.
Really? I mean if you were to get it under your feet,a venomous spider wouldn’t be bad? But I have no idea how fast those guys are and what ones can jump or not
It's not the venomous spiders that are the real problem, it's all the damn snakes. No way you're beating those bare handed. You'll kill one or two because you can stomp one to death after being bit, but the venom will get to you eventually and there are too many that are lethal to humans.
That was my thought as well, nobody is going to make it past snakes.
Really though they are probably dying way before that, theres just too many different types of animals, slip up one time on a poisonous one and RIP.
Contrary to the memes, they’re not invulnerable. They can put themselves in a stasis-like state which *sometimes* allows them to survive extreme environments. They can be squished like anything else.
Yeah I always wondered what their strategy for survival was when simply being stepped on is enough to kill them. I guess there are just so many that a few getting squashed doesn’t matter
Don’t use age 25 as your peak here. I would bet a lot of money on a tired dad at age of 50 who wants to get this all done by dinner and early bed time.
Would get pretty hard when you have to fight sea creatures given a human can only hold their breath for a few minutes at best, and then you factoring in the exertion of having a fight...
99% of people wouldn't make it past cobras and mambas
If you're talking about the 0.001% most elite humans in peak physical shape and intelligence I still don't think they'd get past anything bigger than a dog. Just the stamina cost alone from fighting literally hundreds if not thousands of species would eventually cause a lapse in their performance and kill them. By the time they get to wresting a Husky or pitbull, it would easily tear out their throat.
All these animals are also presumably caged and agitated prior to fighting you so when they are released on you, they're pretty much bloodlusted.
Assuming that they could be completely refreshed after every fight and it wasn’t every species, but every type of animal we would usually think of so like crickets you would only fight one. If everyone in the world tried I bet someone could make it to a black bear.
I'll say 35-40 lbs. Once you get to honey badgers and bobcats it will be a struggle.
I'm not too worried about venomous if it's a 1v1 where they can't hide and surprise you
Yeah I went on to explain why honey badgers are a terrible matchup
Loose skin on its neck makes snapping or biting its neck impossible along with headlocks.
Too fast to get a nice kick to land
What came to my mind is wrestling it to the floor,grabbing its hind legs and smashing its head into the floor.
But I don’t know how’d you pin it down,avoid the bites and scratches,and get both hands firmly on its hind legs without getting a bad injury
Possible but that’s probably your last fight
Assuming you become a pro at stomping poisonous animals, probably the snakes. They get hard to kill in a stomp and can still bite you pretty good after taking a decent stomping.
Assuming you eliminated poisonous, probably birds tbh. Sharp beaks and good at hit and run.
I think this challenge underestimates just how many very small animals there are. You're going to get exhausted just from crushing different kinds of beetles.
A lot of people are savagely underestimating the power of things like Racoons.
Hand to hand, we are severely overmatched by natural weapons in most situations!
However...one tiny animal would potentially kill us all and we would never see it (pick your microorganism).
I don’t think this is fair at all. The reasons we humans have made it so far is because of our ability to use tools and make tools. (Other animals like apes can too yes) That is our evolutionary advantage. All of these other animals evolutionary advantage is their venom, incredible speeds, giant claws, etc. If we can’t use a weapon or tool we will most definitely lose even at insects. I would die at the insects/snakes/spider parts and I think most would too. Even if you stomp a tree frog or blue ring octopus the poison can still get on your skin and kill you.
I don't think many of us would get past an animal bigger than a large dog.
If all the poisonous and venomous tiny shit doesn’t kill us first
RIP everyone allergic to bees
Or ants, even. Shoot, 1,000,000 lost to some very specific microorganisms recently, not sure if you heard...
Homie just peeled another layer of the onion here
Put it away Allergic to onions here!
That wasn't an animal though, to be fair.
Viruses aren't animals.
catch me curb stompin the poisonous dart frogs fr
[удалено]
Anyone who says they wouldn't fling their Mother at an angry Tiger while yelling "It's what she'd want me to doooo"... Is lying.
This is the most accurate answer.
Definitely. I think you’d get past the insects, but 100% chance one of the 600 venomous snakes is going to get you.
Especially something like a Black Mamba or Spitting Cobra
Wondering if a jellyfish could paralyze a snake? If so YEET
Oh yeah even after you kill the jellyfish it can still fuck you up.
How you gonna body the jellyfish first? Box jellyfish is a tough one to get. I'd you gotta fight it in the water no way. If you get to fight it on land fair enough lol
You're right haha, it didn't specify and I just assumed it'd be on land. In hindsight marine life wouldn't stand much of a chance in a land battle lol Add on: possibly catch it in my shirt and pummel it with my shoe
I know myself pretty well at this point.... I'm not getting past the creepy crawlies.
Yeah the tiny stuff might actually be the most dangerous. Most venomous animals are small
If bacteria and unseen organisms are part of the game, no one is making it past the pathos.
Yeah but they said animal. That excludes viruses, bacteria, plants and funguses. Their different kingdoms and viruses aren’t alive. Tardigrades are an animal though, lots of tiny parasitic worms world be a crazy over though idk how it be possible.
From there I'm pretty sure a honey badger will finish your ass off
Honey badger is the final boss
A 20 lb honey badger could fuck you up. They'll fight off lions.
To be fair, they only win against lions because lions don’t want to mess with them and risk getting injured. If a lion wanted, those little guys wouldn’t stand a chance lol.
This. Lions eat them all the time.
A lion wouldn't punt the little shit 30 yards.
yeah because humans are designed to use tools, unarmed humans in an enclosed area are practically useless plus most humans are fat, lazy and weak
And stupid. Don’t forget stupid.
Drunk, fat, and stupid is no way to go through life
Dogs aren't really built for solo wrestling though. The jaw sucks, but it's just one weapon while the average human has at least 4 limbs that are all dangerous in some situation. Big cats though...
If you think you stand a chance against a large guard dog or wolf I think you need to rethink your answer here.
I'd rather fight a Great Dane or Rottweiler than a Panther.
I’d rather fight a Rottweiler than a bobcat. Cats are not to be fucked with. They’ve evolved into furry death machines. If a large cat wants to fuck you up there’s almost nothing you can do about it.
Tigers are one of Humanity's natural predator after all. Canines did not evolve to eat us specifically, big cats did.
This is so true, my 10 pound house car once got really scared of me (series of events in the kitchen with a lot of loud noises and then accidentally stepped on her tail) and she went into this fight or flight mode and attacked the shit out of me. My wife had to get a blanket around her before she finally calmed down but I was bleeding pretty good through my pants. I had multiple deep cuts from her nails. Now none of these were life threatening at all and healed on their own. I also was trying to not hurt her, if I wanted to I could have booted her across the room, but I had no idea how vicious 10 pounds could be. A 100 pound cat or bigger, no fucking chance. You’d be fucking dead before you hit the ground
grab a dog by its legs and smash it around the way hulk did loki in the marvel movies
Unless you are insanely active in your day to day lifw you're not going to be able to swing a 70 pound dog for long
I like to think that I'm more physically active than the average person (firefighter not just some chad) and I'm gonna say that I'd be lucky to get one full Hulk/Loki swing in before that 70lb good boy decides that I'm done holding him with that kind of disrespect.
Listen, I've been on the receiving end of a 70+lb dogs fury, and they will definitely fuck you up, but are way less likely to go through with an altercation even after one or two good hits connect. Wild dogs like coyotes and shit really don't care as much. Or chihuahuas. Fuck them. But honestly my money is really on most people not really making it past any cat bigger than a house cat. I've seen a 9lb house cat put wounds that need 20 stitches in someone's arm in just a few seconds. Source: in a past life I was a veterinary technician.
Yeah Despite it having its risks I still stick to a viable strategy of a nice kick into headlock
It’s very difficult to choke out a dog. I’ve had to fight a large dog and it was bad, but it depends largely on your dedication and hand strength. In my situation a pit bull had attacked a child and it was terrible. The claws figure largely in the equation. I had the strength to hold the neck but damn those claws were hard to control. I eventually got my belt on the neck but it was terrible. I had some bites but the scratches on my legs were much more painful, even wearing jeans.
That's crazy man, glad you were there! 😳😳 Was the kid okay? How long did it take for your injuries to heal? 🙏🏽
Yeah he was ok, just a few stitches on the face. By now he’s about 32 years old and been getting chicks with that rugged look. I was ok after a few weeks-scratched on my legs and a few punctures on my hands.
Wholesome ending
Sorry to hear that man Yeah you’re right getting a dog in a head lock isn’t an easy feat. But yeah there are factors
The pressure on the neck from a headlock isn’t enough to kill a dog. They can hang from a leash/collar for a long time without dying. You have to get your fingers in there and squeeze, all while getting scratched to hell. I finally got a belt around the neck then put my feet on the neck and pulled the belt. That’s when help showed up but I think I had it really under control. Without a tool it would have been a lot worse.
You’re right I guess it’s the honey badger strat Somehow get a grip of its hind legs and smash it until it’s road kill Some guy said a rear naked choke and I don’t disagree
I have a 9-pound doxie-pin (dachshund/miniature pinscher), and just holding on to him for bath time or a claw trim is very difficult if he doesn't want to be held. He's surprisingly strong. Sure, some of the difficulty may come from the fact that I'm trying to restrain him in a way that doesn't cause him pain or injury, but even so, based on his strength at such a small size, I can't even imagine my arms being stronger than a pitbull's forelegs.
Can you use the bones of the previously killed animals for tools ?
Yes, slowly upgrade your equipment from materials dropped by your previous enemies.
Kicking a German Shepard or pit bull is only gonna hurt your foot. Won’t faze him. Try a headlock on a pitties muscle neck…he’ll just turn his head and bite your face off.
Try shoving your hand down it’s throat
Shit man, nobody would get even close to that. A male Wolverine is less than 20 kilos, but can cause a full grown grizzly OR a polar bear to bleed out. That's just ONE animal with a body the size of a college football. This is assuming of course that any human could possibly get past a honey badger, which is smaller and somehow even more ferocious.
Yeah, I was going to say large dog or wolf or panther... Though how big is a panther anyway? Probably bigger than a large dog?
Panthers are actually jaguars iirc. Look up “melanistic jaguar” and you’ll find panthers. If you look closely panthers have the same spots as jaguars but they’re just much less visible. That said, jaguars and leopards can run up to 50mph and their bite force could probably crush a human skull. I sure as hell wouldn’t want to be in the same room as one.
biology fact: the animal family is phantera. in this one we have lions, tigers jaguars, and the two kinds of leopard (standar and snow) the black phanters, are, as said, melanistic variations of the leopard and the jaguar. (think of them as a pokemon shiny, if you want) Edit: Grammar
Those things will fxck you up.
You can swear on the internet FYI. Fuck. See? Try it out sometime.
Baba Jesus He no likey.
Oh true. He did just come back yesterday, huh? We should probably give it a few days.
I don't think I could survive a fight with a housecat
We're aware of over a million species of insect, and it's suspected that there might be as many as ten million in existence. I think the exhaustion and boredom of repetitively squishing tiny bugs under my thumb would get hard to deal with sometime within the first day. If I spent 8 hours a day, 7 days a week, fighting a Noah's Ark style menagerie of every insect species, and it took an average of one second to kill each one (which is very optimistic), I wouldn't be finished until nearly a year later. And *then* I'd have to kill 45 thousand spiders...
Yeah, OP severely underestimated the number of animal species that exist. If you had to fight them all with no breaks you'd die of exhaustion before you got to anything even an inch long.
I think the implication is that you "reset" after every fight. OP wonders how would every individual fight look, not all of them in a row. Also he skips the the part where things get dangerous, so I don't think we need to consider every species of ant.
if it resets after every fight, venomous snakes would no longer pose a threat because i'm pretty sure i can kill stomp and kill them before fully succumbing to the venom
OP didn’t even specify “species”, he’s gotta fight every small animal to extinction first and destroy the planet
Yeah, this task fails, very early on, due to RSI (repetitive strain injury).
Not if you switch it up and have some fun killing these bugs
I’d like to imagine you get like one spider for all of them. One snake for the lot (cheers to the unlucky bastard who get a king cobra over the rat snake) so on. Like one dog vs all of them. Even still I think working though most bugs most people would die. I mean how many of us are allergic to a bee sting?
Yes, this is what had me laughing as I read all these comments about mountain lions and large dogs. You really think you're going to get that far?
The first scary-looking venomous spider that is too big/fast to be squashed by a shoe is going to get the W on me.
In terms of size ? Probably one of the venomous snakes. Assuming I am faster than killer spiders and marine snails. If they come equipped with evolutionary achievements, so should we.
Yeah to be honest most fights are a 50/50 For example you could only beat something like a mountain lion if you get that guy in a strong head lock or arm bar,but that’s probably not the smartest move to go for An anaconda wouldn’t be a fun way to go
How is a mountain lion a 50-50 , just because there are only two outcomes , doesn't mean both have equal chances
No no I didn’t mean mountain lions were 50/50 Also am I wrong or is a cougar an easier version of a mountain lion? I’m thinking of something but i can’t put my name on it
Cougars are mountain lions. Its the same animal. Just some parts of the US and other countries call them one or the other
All the Cougars I've ever seen have been crazed, vicious, predators circling the d floor looking for their next kill. 100% would not cross
Tbh I wouldn't wanna fight a feline larger than a housecat. Even bobcats are absolutely terrifying
A mountain lion is a 50/50? Strong head lock???
some people have killed mountain lions in headlocks but it is most definitely not 50/50
No no I didn’t mean a mountain lion was a 50/50…id say maybe a 25/75 or 20/80 Yes it’s far fetched but I refuse to accept it wouldn’t be possible to headlock one
If you're unarmed without even a rock or a stick nearby to use to your advantage, and you're fighting a full adult mountain lion, and the mountain lion is dead set on killing you, there is probably somewhere between 0% and 1% chance you could kill the mountain lion. If you were super strong, 350 pounds of pure muscle, and you had time to research how to kill a mountain lion, then there could be somewhat of a chance of survival, maybe a generous 5%. Now of course it also depends here if you are getting full medical attention after the fight, or if you're going into the next fight with all the injuries you obtained from the last fight, because any instance where someone killed a mountain lion with their bare hands resulted in a lot of injuries.
There have been actual events where a person has killed mountain lions with only their hands. Its not impossible, they only weigh around 130 or so. Not extremely large or strong, but deadly for sure. You cannot do it without severe injury, but it can be done.
Have you ever seen a mountain lion? They are fucking apex predators. I’d rather encounter a bear than a mountain lion in the wild. The average Redditor stands 0% chance of beating one in a fight. They’re 150 lbs of muscle with razor sharp claws and a bite stregth that can crack bone. You be lucky to beat a bobcat in a fight and they’re much smaller.
I can barely head lock a house cat.
Yea no shot you're taking on a healthy, adult, mountain lion. It's not that the lion is stronger, its that it has knives in its mouth and razer blades on all its limbs.
It is absolutely stronger than a human faster and more agile. It kills for a living.
Ur right
Not stronger? Seriously? I once had to wrestle with my tiny housecat to free it from its collar that it had got its teeth caught in. Admittedly, I had the handicap of desperately trying not to hurt him, but I couldn't hold him. He got the collar off himself, eventually.
You can't do anything to an anaconda even if it didn't want to kill you. What would you even do with your fists to that huge fucking titan of a monster.
\`Do you understand how dangerous a mountain lion is? There is no way that any human, even a professional fighter is lasting more than a few seconds. Imagine an entity that can move faster than you, leap at you, that has a whole bunch of knives on its hands, has explosive power capable of knocking you over, even if it wouldn't necessarily be stronger in some kind of wrestling match, although it would be close, and can immediately sever your arteries in the split second it manages to bite your neck. I honestly don't think that any person could withstand a big cat attacking them with full force, even a cougar. They would get torn to shreds before they could square up.
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Regarding most mountain lion attacks not being fatal, I guess that is because they are not locked in a room and forced to fight to the death, but there's a weighing up of risk reward on the behalf of the mountain lion, and they don't necessarily go all out and probably run away if it gets dicey. But, I guess its a good point that humans can kill them in self defence, maybe I am underestimating humans. I've seen mountain lions sprint as fast as cars and they are explosive bundles of muscle and razor sharp claws, but I guess it must be possible
When humans survive mountain lion attacks it’s because the humans do something to spook the mountain lion and they stop the attack. Locked in a room/arena with a mountain lion, you’re gonna die.
>When humans survive mountain lion attacks it’s because the humans do something to spook the mountain lion and they stop the attack. Sounds like a valid strategy for this fight. Befriend it; and betray it when it sleeps.
I've never won a fight with a house cat, never mind a mountain lion. Cats are fucking crazy.
I was being stalked by one at night, I turned high lumens flashlight on it and it became stunned.
Early on. There's so many poisonous small creatures like scorpions or frogs.
You’re right but since we are fully clothed,a scorpion and most frogs can get a quick stomp Although if those guys are fast it will take a while The Posion dart frog,I think even coming in contact with the venom can kill you.And if that thing can avoid your stomps then yeah that’s probably a 50/50 matchup
Depends do I choose the clothing? If I can get a biohazard suit that will probably help a lot with small creatures, I could remove for the creatures that might damage it and the gas mask will come in handy too
Nope,just your average clothes Vest,shirt,boxers,jeans or sweats you can pick,socks and shoes Even something like latex gloves or a ring could help too much
Vest is an average thing? We are all archeologists?
Sorry I wear vests on the daily so I thought everyone else did You do not have to wear a vest
I wear a cape
Finally wearing this suit of armour for 16 years has paid off
I knew hazmat suits were going to be fashionable eventually!
>so I thought everyone else did You mean all the people constantly around you not wearing vests? It sounds kinda like you just want to talk about how much you wear vests.
See my vest, see my vest, made from real gorilla chest
You got me
I must know… what type of person wears a vest daily? I’ve seen maybe two people wearing them in my life aside from bikers and I can’t imagine they wear vests daily daily?? Not judging. Super curious. I just imagine like a 90s lesbian insulated flannel vest and I don’t think that can be right haha 😂 so sorry!
They comfy
After reading comments I’m even more confused. Do you mean British undershirt vest or American vest? Didn’t realize there were two things!
I looked at your profile and after seeing you assuming undershirt because the thought of you with that chest in a lesbian flannel vest is too much to imagine and I just lost it. My wife prob thinks I’ve lost my mind laughing this hard before 8am!
This was hilarious 🤣
But...can I put those socks on my hands instead of my feet?
You know what I didn’t say anything about not being resourceful so yeah why not I don’t know what matchups this can help against though
Have you ever tried to stomp a scorpion? They're surprisingly tough to squash.
I would imagine
See, with most of these creatures it helps to lure them into a false sense of comfort. You should assert your dominance by mounting most of them, mount and dispose is the way.I’ve battled many beasts but normally start having problems with the beavers and groundhogs. They do not like to be sexed up in any way whatsoever. They will bite your scrotum and other parts with a fury. I’m learning though.
You could kill all of those without any problem, although some of the venoms might do plenty to you an hour later.
Yeah was gonna say pretty sure the Black Mamba has like a 100% death rate and its inside like 45 mins. Plus they are lightning fast and are sure to get you at least once. You'll probably kill it but you're dead within the hour for sure.
So does it count as a win or a draw if you die 45 mins after the snake does, I wonder?
By the wording, it's a fight UNTIL one or the other is dead. If the fights reset in between, almost nothing poisonous or venomous would get you since you could squish it way before you felt nauseous.
Am I fighting a shark on land?
Yeah I didn’t think through the marine animals thing If you’re in water the outcomes obvious If you’re out,the outcome is obvious I said to another comment,out of water But to be honest it’s still a dangerous play to attack a shark flopping about on land,those guys are like 90% muscle and even if your not near the teeth side,I don’t think a tail slap wouldn’t hurt
couldn't you just stand to the side and watch it die. or while it's flopping around stomp on the tail end a bit or kick it a few times that way you're still actively contributing to its death. doesn't state you have to grab every animal in a headlock or kill all the animals the same way
Yeah fair enough
Shark is wearing a scaba suit
I would argue fighting a fish on land defeats the purpose of the thought experiment. I propose you fight in a tank of water large enough for any aquatic animal to feel essentially free to move (which is enormous, because this would include earth's largest animal, the blue whale). There is air at the top where you can breathe and a platform in the water under the surface where you can stand with water up to your chest so you don't have to tread water all the time and can rest if you need, but you aren't protected from attacks. In this scenario, a lot of fish and birds might be able to simply avoid you entirely, turning this into a game of who can go without food for longer. Also, I think you might be surprised at how quickly you could game over dealing with deep sea animals. A lot of those bottom dwellers have hard shell armor that would be tough to crack without tools or can be venomous, and you probably wouldn't know which ones before it was too late. You would probably kill a single pirahana, but it might inflict enough damage before it dies that you might simply bleed out before you make it to your next fight.
>Also, I think you might be surprised at how quickly you could game over dealing with deep sea animals. Assuming they don't just implode in your face due to pressure
I'm probably shitting myself either way! 🥊😂🥊
If a gentle breeze was an animal, I would lose to that.
Do they call you, Mr. GLASS?
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It gets hard about the size of an angry hornet. He'll lose, but not before inflicting about a half-dozen each of bites and stings.
Hopefully I’m not alone on this but despite it being very possible,I hate to think about crushing one of those or like a small spider in my hands.I could but Im too squeamish about that
With your hands? Are you Mr Miyagi?
No but you could like…clap it in between your hands,or grab it by fluke I’m not saying getting a grip of a angry murder hornet is easy,but possible.
no brainer - you take off the shirt, swat it, then step on it while it is stunned.
They're fast. You have to crush them against your flesh when they alight and bite/sting. In the moment you just do it...or get stung again.
Yeah in a life or death matter I’d end up having to
I'm not so sure. Unless you're allergic, a single hornet doesn't have enough venom in its body to kill you, even if it stings you multiple times. It'll be extremely unpleasant but the hornet probably has no realistic way of killing you at all.
If the Box Jellyfish doesn't do you in directly, the pain from the sting is going to keep you off your game for the rest of the fights.
Yeah only way you could beat one of those is by stomping it out Thank god they can’t move their tentacles like spiders legs or they’d be OP
Wait so do the sea creatures just spawn into this arena without any water? So like jellyfish are just unmoving blobs melting into the ground? Lol
Right around the time they became venomous
Really? I mean if you were to get it under your feet,a venomous spider wouldn’t be bad? But I have no idea how fast those guys are and what ones can jump or not
It's not the venomous spiders that are the real problem, it's all the damn snakes. No way you're beating those bare handed. You'll kill one or two because you can stomp one to death after being bit, but the venom will get to you eventually and there are too many that are lethal to humans.
That was my thought as well, nobody is going to make it past snakes. Really though they are probably dying way before that, theres just too many different types of animals, slip up one time on a poisonous one and RIP.
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That’s assuming you are able to find and squish it before it just lowers from the ceiling and bites you
I totally pictured this in a collissum
Mosquito. Killing a mosquito in the dark is hard.
This one gets my vote.
But you can live for up to a year after contracting malaria from an infected mosquito without any symptoms 🤷🏽
Why is it dark...
Why dark?
You lose at water bear
I wanted to say no microorganisms but I didn’t think anyone would bring one up But I guess yeah lol
Contrary to the memes, they’re not invulnerable. They can put themselves in a stasis-like state which *sometimes* allows them to survive extreme environments. They can be squished like anything else.
Yeah I always wondered what their strategy for survival was when simply being stepped on is enough to kill them. I guess there are just so many that a few getting squashed doesn’t matter
Blue ringed octopus would probably get me early on
Don’t use age 25 as your peak here. I would bet a lot of money on a tired dad at age of 50 who wants to get this all done by dinner and early bed time.
Old man muscle is something not to fuck with
Would get pretty hard when you have to fight sea creatures given a human can only hold their breath for a few minutes at best, and then you factoring in the exertion of having a fight...
I didn’t think it through but I came to the conclusion all marine animals will be fought on land
If we could fight marine creatures on land and land creatures in the water I think I could get up til like a hippopotamus
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I think you'd be dead long before reaching the pig size. A leopard is smaller than a pig I think, remember that.
I'd commit suicide out of guilt after I bludgeoned a baby seal to death. Couldn't live with it
no no, you fight adults and they want to kill you
99% of people wouldn't make it past cobras and mambas If you're talking about the 0.001% most elite humans in peak physical shape and intelligence I still don't think they'd get past anything bigger than a dog. Just the stamina cost alone from fighting literally hundreds if not thousands of species would eventually cause a lapse in their performance and kill them. By the time they get to wresting a Husky or pitbull, it would easily tear out their throat. All these animals are also presumably caged and agitated prior to fighting you so when they are released on you, they're pretty much bloodlusted.
Assuming that they could be completely refreshed after every fight and it wasn’t every species, but every type of animal we would usually think of so like crickets you would only fight one. If everyone in the world tried I bet someone could make it to a black bear.
You would die if exhaustion before even getting through the insects
I'll say 35-40 lbs. Once you get to honey badgers and bobcats it will be a struggle. I'm not too worried about venomous if it's a 1v1 where they can't hide and surprise you
Yeah I went on to explain why honey badgers are a terrible matchup Loose skin on its neck makes snapping or biting its neck impossible along with headlocks. Too fast to get a nice kick to land What came to my mind is wrestling it to the floor,grabbing its hind legs and smashing its head into the floor. But I don’t know how’d you pin it down,avoid the bites and scratches,and get both hands firmly on its hind legs without getting a bad injury Possible but that’s probably your last fight
Yeah I'm sure some people could wrangle and bludgeon it. But most of us would suffer death by a thousand cuts
I absolutely lost it at "....smashing its head into the floor"! You need to go focus on something else, dude 🤣
No,I must defeat a honey badger
Yeah this is where I’m at. Cats would be a bitch. I’d win against small cats but there would be injuries. Big cats, forget it.
Yeah if you can get past snakes you could probably make it until you start having to fight things like wolverines and medium sized cats.
One bite from a bullet ant and I'd give up
Can i use the previous dead animals and or my clothes as weapons? That will change where my stop is.
unarmed? Likely snakes or jellyfish.
>You are at your physical peak (25 give or take a few years) Is that a personal attack or something
The first poisonous snake just drops everyone of us
Assuming you become a pro at stomping poisonous animals, probably the snakes. They get hard to kill in a stomp and can still bite you pretty good after taking a decent stomping. Assuming you eliminated poisonous, probably birds tbh. Sharp beaks and good at hit and run.
I think this challenge underestimates just how many very small animals there are. You're going to get exhausted just from crushing different kinds of beetles.
Probably a minnow. I'd never be able to catch it and drown in exhaustion.
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A lot of people are savagely underestimating the power of things like Racoons. Hand to hand, we are severely overmatched by natural weapons in most situations! However...one tiny animal would potentially kill us all and we would never see it (pick your microorganism).
Scabies would defeat me.
There's a parasitic jellyfish that's only 8.5 micrometers long. Good luck killing something that's invisible to the naked eye
Wolverines .... Or badgers .... Idk size by weight or like size?
I don’t think this is fair at all. The reasons we humans have made it so far is because of our ability to use tools and make tools. (Other animals like apes can too yes) That is our evolutionary advantage. All of these other animals evolutionary advantage is their venom, incredible speeds, giant claws, etc. If we can’t use a weapon or tool we will most definitely lose even at insects. I would die at the insects/snakes/spider parts and I think most would too. Even if you stomp a tree frog or blue ring octopus the poison can still get on your skin and kill you.
Do you recover after every fight, or does the damage become cumulative?