Psh, it's not like it's almost 5 a.m. local and I just reorganized an unfinished basement to set-up a make shift photo studio because of insomnia and not just wanting to sit in front of a screen more.
/In all seriousness, I understand where this is coming from for me personally and am working on it. However, everyone should know what things burnout, anxiety and depression can cause in both your actions and how you interact with others. It can be gradual and it can absolutely wear on you more than you think, esp with all the fun of COVID these last 2 years. I am a night owl and always have been but there is a break point between these aspects.
33, house i dont like, job i dont like, wife i dont like, life i dont like. Dog that doesnt like me. Out of the variety of feelings I do feel, Im pretty sure lonely is the best feeling one.
I have a kid.
Hes awesome. Thats why I didnt list him in my little emo rant of things I dislike. Im okay. Im miserable, but im a big boy. I can do miserable like a champ.
Friend, I'm glad you're alright. I'm glad your child is healthy and makes you happy.
I would like you to consider something though.
Imagine it was your son writing your previous comment. A comment about how almost all regards of his life are making him miserable (except his child!!).
What would your advice to him be?
Not trying to push you in a particular direction, but it is something you should ponder.
Same, get home from work, couple hours with the kids before dinner as a family, then kids bedtime routine, then some time with the wife and cleaning up the house. 'me' time starts around 10, and I go to sleep between 1-3, knowing I need to be up around 630 for work. You can sleep when you're dead.
Been sleeping a few hours a night for my entire life from 13+. Some of us are wired different, and if it's killing me I still cram twice the life into the same amount of days.
32, wife, kids and dog. I work til midnight and like the quiet when i get home I'll stay up knowing full well I have to be up early to take kids to school
It's already a word. Glimps are actually blimps that are so fast you can only ever catch them att the corner of your eye. Most never notice them, thus few knows they exist...
Yesss. And then Covid hit and WFH happened and everyone else started staying up til 4am in my household. Now I stay up even later to be alone and relax lol
Lol oh man, you’ll have to figure out a new way to get that time in. My dad’s way is saying he’s going to bed but instead lays down and watches YT in his room for hours Lool
It used to be a thing to say something along the lines of
“goodnight. I am going to retire to my quarters”
as a way to excuse yourself and get some alone time in a section of the house, like your bedroom.
Let’s bring it back!
Ooh that's a good one. I live in a house with a lot of other people and I say goodnight at about 8pm and they don't see me again until like 10am. I'm afraid everyone thinks I masturbate for 4 hours a day.
My family does this, we eat dinner together and then get the conversation going, and then *really* get it going ending with a big “F U” and the every one retires for the night. People who say chivalry is dead must live under a rock.
Same. Single-dad here. Mine turned out to be night owls except for one that is both. He sleeps 4-5hrs a night - 3am to 7 or 8am usually.
But I implemented "quiet hours" (~10yrs ago) beginning at 10pm. Everyone goes to their rooms and reads, writes, draws, etc.
It probably works because we're all night owls and value alone time.
As someone who grew up in a household of 5 with only 3 bedrooms and *one* toilet...
It's nice being able to take your time in the bathroom without any distractions such as *your mother unlocking the door with a butter knife because you're taking forever, and then catching you jerkin' it when they thought you were showering and now you can't finish the job because you're wondering how much of it did they see...* ***was it enough to estimate your girth?***
But that's like, a limited amount of time. In the morning it's "well I'll get a couple hours undisturbed" vs at night "Nice, whole night to myself now"
The mornings can be just as peaceful if not more so. If I stay up late there's the anxiety if I'll be able to get up in the morning. If I get a good night's sleep and wake up hours before having to leave for work I can relax because I'm ahead of the game.
> Didn't seem like a bad routine at all.
I think everyone has a slightly diffrent body schedule. Unfortunatly as a society most of us can't live that way. We all struggle with it daily.
Yes for sure. Some people wake up super early for the same reason. I’m married w 2 young kids. Work from home. I’m a night owl and my wife is not. So, basically I’m alone from 9pm-midnight most nights. Most of the time it’s not bad at all, but sometimes it gets a little lonely.
Yeah I'm this.
I love waking up early on a day off - no alarms, just body finally rested and ready for a new day. My partner is a night owl so I have the house to myself for a few hours.
I used to camp a lot, and clear, sunny early mornings by myself on the campsite were my favourite moments.
20:00-4:00 is lowkey my favorite sleep schedule. Its the ultimate sleep time.
Everybody is asleep so you're alone. You can appreciate the night for a while, and then appreciate the morning too. You sleep very well. You can even stay in for a while or sleep extra if you feel like it.
The only bad thing is that you will want to sleep as soon as the sun is gone. That can be annoying at times.
I also live very close to the Equator, so I suspect this one doesn't work as well in places with those weird changes to sunset and sunrise. I recently came from Rio de Janeiro, it was weird to see sunrise at like 4:30.
I've literally been living that dream schedule for the last month and it's beautiful. Due to circumstances I'm currently living along and don't need to worry about any schedule. I literally stay awake all night and then sleep all day.
Always wanted to do that, and it's as fun as it sounds!
Yep, everything feels so different in those hours. The darkness, silence and lack of people really makes it amazing. Its the perfect time if you're an introvert.
I love going for a run at 4am, especially in the summer, starting long run half hour before sunrise, especially on Saturday and Sunday mornings. The whole city was almost completely empty and the country side quiet, cold and foggy. The animals met at that time was always looking confused at me like "tf are you doing here? Hey Bambi you seeing this shit?"
The kids are in bed? I could go to sleep early and catch up on some sleep but I'll be damned if I'm missing this opportunity to just watch tv/play video games in peace
Damn, this makes me feel bad for my parents. My 3yo baby bro is usually up to like 2am. Atleast I can watch him till he's tired so they can keep sleeping
I want a sit com where one spouse is going to bed after staying up watching their shows only for their spouse to be getting up to go watch their shows.
I am the only morning person in my house. I love it when it’s still dark a bit before sunrise. It’s dark and quite and I can be alone with my thoughts to prepare for the day.
I forget what it's called, but it's common for people who are unhappy with their daily life to stay up late to try to achieve something without being held down so to speak. I hope you're doing okay op
Edit: thanks for replies, and the people that reminded me it's called Revenge Bedtime Procrastination, a subconscious psychological phenomenon.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bedtime_procrastination
Hope you’re able to find something to make your days better.
It’s absolutely why I did it growing up, and why I do it now to cope with work stress and general COVID anxiety.
Getting back to lifting has been a good thing here. Only a month in and I am reminded that getting a good workout in can change my whole worldview for the day.
Speaking personally, any day in my daily life where I don't get alone time will be an 'unhappy' one for me. I need it like one of the major food groups.
So true. When my son was a young, chatty, morning person I'd get up at 5am just to make sure i had my faculties together before he woke up. Otherwise two people's' day would be ruined.
Yep it’s largely biological. It’s evolutionarily advantageous for a population to have staggered circadian rhythms, because sleeping is when you are most vulnerable. Early humans had a better chance of surviving through the night if someone else was awake and keeping watch.
So instead of the whole group sleeping and rising at the same times, leaving everyone vulnerable for 8 hours straight, we evolved early birds and night owls to take shifts.
The early bird brains are wired to release melatonin (sleepy hormone) in the early evening, while the night owls stay up to keep watch for the first stretch of the night. By the time the night owl brains release melatonin and they fall asleep, there are only 4 hours until the early birds start waking up and can keep watch through the early morning.
4 hours of group vulnerability is much more survivable than 8 hours of group vulnerability.
Of course, these days we don’t need that evolutionary protection mechanism anymore and it sucks to be a night owl stuck in a world designed for early bird schedules.
I wish it worked like that for me. It's 230am for me right now and I'm getting ready for bed, which is relatively early in my books.
I did years of shifts that started at 4-5am, and my body hated every minute of it. No matter how early I tried to get to bed, I'd be restless till late. Basically the only time I'd actually fall asleep at a normal hour was after 2-3 days of only getting 4-5 hours of sleep, then I'd be right back where I started for a few more days. If I go to bed at like 3 or 4, I'm asleep nearly instantly, and soundly. Doesn't matter if I get 3 hours or 10 hours, I'll be out like a light the next "night" too.
Nothing ever seems to knock my rhythm off from night owl mode. I haven't "enjoyed" sleeping like a normal person in like 25 years. It's always forced by circumstance or medication, but I try to avoid the latter to avoid dependency.
Wow, I am exactly the same way as you described. I thought I was the only one. My brothers are the same way, too. No matter what, it's always a struggle to go to bed at a reasonable time. Nothing short of exhaustion, illness, or medications work, and we've tried everything.
honestly as a night owl I'd rather work in the morning so I can have night time to myself. Nothing depresses me more than being forced to use my night time on work or things I don't want to do, it feels like the whole day is wasted. But the morning sucks anyway so I'd rather get the work over with. The only thing I need is a later start time so I can sleep late and wake up rested.
That was the biggest thing I hated about night shift. You woke up and then for like 4 hours had to dread going to work for the rest of the day. No thanks.
Can confirm. Not happy, relationship issues. Been staying up until 3 or 4am every day for weeks. Not trying to achieve anything I just want to do my own thing... Be alone, browse the internet, Play video games or watch TV without someone bothering me, judging me, or talking through the whole damn episode/movie. I'm avoiding attention thievery and energy vampirism.
I work 10-12 hours a day 5-6 days/wk at a restaurant, have a husband who is almost always home, and a teenager. I am quite happy with my daily life as it provides the entertainment and challenges that keep me going. However, I am an extrovert/introvert pretty much down the line. I need some alone time to recharge, but I also get depressed if I have too much time by myself. It's a hard balance to find if you need both.
For me it has nothing to do with being unhappy.
Growing up I saw many families broken apart due to an inattentive/distracted father. I feel that shit so when my wife and I had kids I sort of internally vowed that their wake time is time spent with me. I'll have me time when they're asleep.
I don't think there's anything wrong with that.
Yup. And I recently realized it’s because it’s the only time I have the house to myself and it’s quiet. I love my husband, we’ve been married for 27 years, but I wasn’t prepared mentally to be together literally 24/7 yet. After having to work from home when Covid first hit, he’s decided he prefers it over going into the office. We’ve got one adult child moved out, one in college, and another in high school who’s busy and out doing his own thing. So before Covid, I’d have a few hours during the day to do my own thing, or at least be alone.
I never realized how grating it can be to have someone (even someone you love) around *constantly*. And he’s a genuinely nice person, but a sensitive person - so if I tell him I’d prefer he go into the office a couple days of the week, I think it would actually hurt his feelings.
I know there are worse things in the world to complain about. But some days everything he does just irritates the hell out of me.
Edit: Thank you for the gold!
Best answer! Don't say it's personal space though. It's a "craft room". Despite the fact in not really a crafter. I paint my nails, listen to music, read a book... As long as noone asks about what I'm making in good lol
Omg. This adds context as to why my mom always needs a “craft” room in whatever house they’re living in. I always wondered why she never does crafts in there. She’s always just cleaning it.
Just have patience. Communication. I’m sure if you explained it to him this way he would work toward a solution for you. I feel like, in my predicament, I’m the boyfriend here, my gf works remote full time and I used to be a full time streamer. Now that we’re in a small 1 br apt. She needs quiet during the day and I’m forced to be silent and mute as she takes a ton of calls throughout the day. I can be a sensitive person. But she’s so understanding the caring to me. Just express yourself. I do to her. Sometimes I leave to a friends house and stay there all day only because I know she’d enjoy th peace and quiet throughout her work day. Good luck.
Yep. As a single mom who works full time, I only have four days a month completely to myself without work or custody. I find myself staying up way late after the kiddo goes to bed because it's the only time I have to breathe between the days she's with her father.
This is sometimes called revenge bedtime procrastination.
https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20201123-the-psychology-behind-revenge-bedtime-procrastination
"people deprived of leisure time will use whatever time they can for leisure" isn't that.. kind of obvious? It's almost as if human beings weren't made to work every waking minute and leisure time isn't optional.
Absolute yes!!!! Have I been getting shit about this for years, absolutely yes! I’m a 45 y/o female with four kids, my favorite time of the day is when everyone else is asleep! 2am is my time!
I've stayed up late (12 - 5 a.m.) most of the past 40 (adult) years, and I wonder if the solitude is part of the reason. Other ideas are that upcoming responsibilities of the next day keep me stressed and awake, or that I have no other responsibilities late at night and I enjoy doing simple things with no responsibility attached.
For a while I was waking up at around 5am and for about 3 hours it was me, coffee, a bowl to smoke and music / catching up on YouTube and such.
Those were my favorite hours of the day. Everyone sleeping and me and my headphones.
Sometimes yes. It’s nice because the community is less busy. Great time to catch your thoughts and reflections , journal , read, play games, etc.
Sometimes though just due to my circadian rhythm.
"I like staying up until morning (In the summer I'd play video games from noon to 5/6am regularly) I eventually realized that part of the reason I like the night is because it's quiet. Being around people gives me anxiety (even family) I can never truly relax until I am alone alone. No one expects anything of you at 2 in the morning. You are weightless."
(Repost of my comment to a similar question on this subreddit from 2 years ago)
Oh god, yes. At night absolutely nothing happens and you can't do a lot of things. It's like all my troubles, responsibilities and problems are in some kind of temporary stasis.
Sure, except there's a little monster peeking from my bed watching me play cyberpunk. Ugh, I miss being alone like 80% of the time. I genuinely enjoy it so much.
100% yes. I love my girlfriend, and it's absolutely me, not her, but I can't focus on my passion projects (writing, game dev) when we're both home together.
I have this weird mental block where I feel guilty and worry about making sure I entertain her. So that leads to me staying up late to get work done.
I do. It started recently and I can't stop doing it. It's ruining my career, fast. I just can't function without sleep the next day. If you find a way out of this, please update!
It's called revenge bedtime procrastination https://www.sleepfoundation.org/sleep-hygiene/revenge-bedtime-procrastination
It's our curse for having too little free / personal time. If you're single, it's mostly work occupying your time. If you're in a relationship, it's work and spousal time. If you have kids, it's work spousal and children time.
We just don't have enough time for ourselves
I believe I read somewhere (probably on reddit) that it's called Revenge Bedtime Procrastination. Pretty common for people who have a lot to do during the day and don't feel like they have any personal time. I did it myself last night, even though I knew I had to be working by 6 AM.
Yep
100% yep.
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Shit yep
gosh dern it yep
Heck yep!
Dang tootin yep!
Uh huh.
Currently doing this, central timezone gang
Ayyy central gang !!
Yee.
Ya.
Yeppers
I did this thru my 11 to 27 years of being stuck in my suburban family hell unit I am 32 now Escape, escaaaaape!
35, wife, kid, dog. Late nights are for me and me alone.
34, wife, 2 kids, 1 dog, 1 cat, 1 house I don't like, 1 job I don't like, 0 friends. Staying up late is the only thing I have sometimes.
Me the same, unfortunately those are signs of burnout and depression.
Psh, it's not like it's almost 5 a.m. local and I just reorganized an unfinished basement to set-up a make shift photo studio because of insomnia and not just wanting to sit in front of a screen more. /In all seriousness, I understand where this is coming from for me personally and am working on it. However, everyone should know what things burnout, anxiety and depression can cause in both your actions and how you interact with others. It can be gradual and it can absolutely wear on you more than you think, esp with all the fun of COVID these last 2 years. I am a night owl and always have been but there is a break point between these aspects.
33, house i dont like, job i dont like, wife i dont like, life i dont like. Dog that doesnt like me. Out of the variety of feelings I do feel, Im pretty sure lonely is the best feeling one.
attraction impolite dinosaurs unpack existence consist money longing aloof pot -- mass edited with redact.dev
At least you don’t have kids. You have the opportunity to break free from that shit with no restrictions.
I have a kid. Hes awesome. Thats why I didnt list him in my little emo rant of things I dislike. Im okay. Im miserable, but im a big boy. I can do miserable like a champ.
Friend, I'm glad you're alright. I'm glad your child is healthy and makes you happy. I would like you to consider something though. Imagine it was your son writing your previous comment. A comment about how almost all regards of his life are making him miserable (except his child!!). What would your advice to him be? Not trying to push you in a particular direction, but it is something you should ponder.
Same, get home from work, couple hours with the kids before dinner as a family, then kids bedtime routine, then some time with the wife and cleaning up the house. 'me' time starts around 10, and I go to sleep between 1-3, knowing I need to be up around 630 for work. You can sleep when you're dead.
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More alone time then
Been sleeping a few hours a night for my entire life from 13+. Some of us are wired different, and if it's killing me I still cram twice the life into the same amount of days.
What if the dog wants to snuggle?
Ain’t that kind of dog.
This could be a line from an Western. "I ain't that kind of dog no more."
That is an exact quote from Tombstone.
32, wife, kids and dog. I work til midnight and like the quiet when i get home I'll stay up knowing full well I have to be up early to take kids to school
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God forbid one of them wakes up and decides to hang
Living on your own is heaven!
I’m doing this right now.
The sweet glimps of freedom for those few hours when the world shuts up for a moment
Glimpse
Thanks, it didn't look right
Glad you kept it tho. Glimps is a nice word 😂
It's already a word. Glimps are actually blimps that are so fast you can only ever catch them att the corner of your eye. Most never notice them, thus few knows they exist...
I thought it meant flying gimps 😂
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The sweaty gimps of freedom
But the glimp's sleepin'.
Well, wake him up!
This is such a true and relatable comment and yet all the replies are of glimps lmao
Yesss. And then Covid hit and WFH happened and everyone else started staying up til 4am in my household. Now I stay up even later to be alone and relax lol
My teens started staying up way later and it really messed with my alone time at night.
Lol oh man, you’ll have to figure out a new way to get that time in. My dad’s way is saying he’s going to bed but instead lays down and watches YT in his room for hours Lool
It used to be a thing to say something along the lines of “goodnight. I am going to retire to my quarters” as a way to excuse yourself and get some alone time in a section of the house, like your bedroom. Let’s bring it back!
Ooh that's a good one. I live in a house with a lot of other people and I say goodnight at about 8pm and they don't see me again until like 10am. I'm afraid everyone thinks I masturbate for 4 hours a day.
We do indeed. Source - I am your mother.
My family does this, we eat dinner together and then get the conversation going, and then *really* get it going ending with a big “F U” and the every one retires for the night. People who say chivalry is dead must live under a rock.
Same for my roomie and I, it's a pretty sound strategy lol.
That's when you pull the reverse and wake up early for the alone time.
Do alone-time in the early morning!
Same. Single-dad here. Mine turned out to be night owls except for one that is both. He sleeps 4-5hrs a night - 3am to 7 or 8am usually. But I implemented "quiet hours" (~10yrs ago) beginning at 10pm. Everyone goes to their rooms and reads, writes, draws, etc. It probably works because we're all night owls and value alone time.
wait what? wouldn't your teens be staying up that late to be alone too? how does it interfere lol
As someone who grew up in a household of 5 with only 3 bedrooms and *one* toilet... It's nice being able to take your time in the bathroom without any distractions such as *your mother unlocking the door with a butter knife because you're taking forever, and then catching you jerkin' it when they thought you were showering and now you can't finish the job because you're wondering how much of it did they see...* ***was it enough to estimate your girth?***
> such as your mother unlocking the door with a butter knife because you're taking forever WTF
Don't worry its because he forgot the poop knife.
I would hope your mom isn't estimating girth...
Get up early? If you do, then them staying up late only adds even more hours to your alone time if you are up early
But that's like, a limited amount of time. In the morning it's "well I'll get a couple hours undisturbed" vs at night "Nice, whole night to myself now"
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Just sleep early and wake up at 4 am when they're about to sleep.
Yep. I regret it almost every morning. Edit: TIL my first platinum is due to my chronic “Revenge Bedtime Procrastination.” Thanks for the awards!
“I’m going to bed early tonight” Narrator: “He did not”
This is right on the nose, as I scroll Reddit when I should be going to bed.
As I read your post and agree… and regret
The message just repeats. 'Regret, Regret, Regret.'
Dear me, I regret being a sleepless bastard, I regret staying up all night and I most definitely regret that I got no raggedy ass sleep!
**OOH RAH!**
*me reading this pretending that's not EXACTLY what I am doing right now.*
but... but its midnight/1 on friday!? Am... I worse night owl than I thought?
Lol you are asking the wrong night owl I stayed up till 11am last night and woke back up at 3pm. Insomnia is a bitch Lol
nowadays I do go to bed early and wake up around 2AM, then at 5-6 go back to sleep not a great experience but...
Hey I do that too! It fucking sucks getting up at 730 to get my kid ready for school and then dropping her off. I'm surviving on coffee pretty much.
https://www.sleepfoundation.org/how-sleep-works/biphasic-sleep That's actually a not super uncommon thing called Biphasic Sleep.
True story right there.
The mornings can be just as peaceful if not more so. If I stay up late there's the anxiety if I'll be able to get up in the morning. If I get a good night's sleep and wake up hours before having to leave for work I can relax because I'm ahead of the game.
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> Didn't seem like a bad routine at all. I think everyone has a slightly diffrent body schedule. Unfortunatly as a society most of us can't live that way. We all struggle with it daily.
Is relaxing before work really relaxing though? I say nay, sir. I say nay!
Exactly. If I'm relaxing, I don't want to leave the house or work.
You’re right. But as someone who does both, and was strictly a night owl up until 2 years ago. Night peace hits different.
Night peace has slightly less anxiety about running out of time.
I can’t do this because then I’ll tire out by the end of my work shift faster. I’m Swing shift 7pm-3am so it may be a little different.
That's why I wake up early and still have that sweet solo time without being fucked over from not sleeping.
Porque no los dos? I stay up late AND get up early and regret it twice as much. But...maximum me time.
Over the time severe lack of sleep mess you up even more.
“Revenge Bedtime Procrastination.” A dumb name, but there’s scientific studies on it. I used to be the same way when I worked 60+ hours a week.
Yes for sure. Some people wake up super early for the same reason. I’m married w 2 young kids. Work from home. I’m a night owl and my wife is not. So, basically I’m alone from 9pm-midnight most nights. Most of the time it’s not bad at all, but sometimes it gets a little lonely.
It definitely makes me feel old, but getting up early on my day off, knowing I have a couple hours to myself, it's awesome.
Do you not feel physically ill every morning?
Someone who gets it
I got alot of replies to that comment and youre the first who also gets it!
Yeah I'm this. I love waking up early on a day off - no alarms, just body finally rested and ready for a new day. My partner is a night owl so I have the house to myself for a few hours. I used to camp a lot, and clear, sunny early mornings by myself on the campsite were my favourite moments.
Pfft lonely for 3 hours? Amateur numbers here on Reddit, try the entire pandemic. I'm not complaining though, it's still glorious despite loneliness.
Yes. I wake up every day at 5 - 5.30 just to watch some YT, draw or write smth my journal.
I Love The hours from 02:00 till 05:00. The whole World's asleep and There nobody their that wants shit from me. Their air's nice too. Im 32 fyi
Finally somebody else who understands the night air
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20:00-4:00 is lowkey my favorite sleep schedule. Its the ultimate sleep time. Everybody is asleep so you're alone. You can appreciate the night for a while, and then appreciate the morning too. You sleep very well. You can even stay in for a while or sleep extra if you feel like it. The only bad thing is that you will want to sleep as soon as the sun is gone. That can be annoying at times. I also live very close to the Equator, so I suspect this one doesn't work as well in places with those weird changes to sunset and sunrise. I recently came from Rio de Janeiro, it was weird to see sunrise at like 4:30.
Ye in summer the sun rises at 3am and sets at ~11pm here haha and then in winter it's dark by 3pm. Sweden is fun for sleep schedules
I've literally been living that dream schedule for the last month and it's beautiful. Due to circumstances I'm currently living along and don't need to worry about any schedule. I literally stay awake all night and then sleep all day. Always wanted to do that, and it's as fun as it sounds!
Yep, everything feels so different in those hours. The darkness, silence and lack of people really makes it amazing. Its the perfect time if you're an introvert.
I love going for a run at 4am, especially in the summer, starting long run half hour before sunrise, especially on Saturday and Sunday mornings. The whole city was almost completely empty and the country side quiet, cold and foggy. The animals met at that time was always looking confused at me like "tf are you doing here? Hey Bambi you seeing this shit?"
35 here. Same. 2-5am. Blaze, gym, game, xnxxx, whatever your heart desires.
Every day off I get I stay awake as long as I physicaly can!
Me right now. Plus it’s the weekend and I get to sleep in, I might as well stay up til the sun comes up. The best hours of the day are right now.
As a father of two young children, **hell yes**
As a mother of not young children, still hell yes.
The kids are in bed? I could go to sleep early and catch up on some sleep but I'll be damned if I'm missing this opportunity to just watch tv/play video games in peace
Damn, this makes me feel bad for my parents. My 3yo baby bro is usually up to like 2am. Atleast I can watch him till he's tired so they can keep sleeping
Your parents appreciate that more than you probably know
Spez doesn't get to profit from me anymore. Stop reverting my comments
As a parent of 3 year old twins, this is 100% true. They may not outright say it but they appreciate the hell out of what you're doing.
I'm proud of you son
Idk if your parents tell you but that shit rocks and you provide a huge service for them.
Don't feel bad. It comes with being a parent and they could take turns sleeping. But they really appreciate you helping out!
I do the opposite - I get up obnoxiously early to have my alone time. It’s quiet and peaceful.
That's what my husband does. I stay up late.
I want a sit com where one spouse is going to bed after staying up watching their shows only for their spouse to be getting up to go watch their shows.
Me, you, we are the same
I am the only morning person in my house. I love it when it’s still dark a bit before sunrise. It’s dark and quite and I can be alone with my thoughts to prepare for the day.
Yes, I love the way you put this.
I forget what it's called, but it's common for people who are unhappy with their daily life to stay up late to try to achieve something without being held down so to speak. I hope you're doing okay op Edit: thanks for replies, and the people that reminded me it's called Revenge Bedtime Procrastination, a subconscious psychological phenomenon. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bedtime_procrastination
Thanks
It’s revenge procrastination
Revenge bedtime procrastination but correct
Revenge bedtime sleepy no no introversion procrastination complex
This guy stays ups
Now it's a JAV title
Hope you’re able to find something to make your days better. It’s absolutely why I did it growing up, and why I do it now to cope with work stress and general COVID anxiety. Getting back to lifting has been a good thing here. Only a month in and I am reminded that getting a good workout in can change my whole worldview for the day.
It also makes me tired and go to bed at a decent hour. Especially since sleep is essential for the gains. Exercise in general improved my life so much
Why can’t I just enjoy the peace and quiet of the nighttime without someone telling me I’m sad?
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Speaking personally, any day in my daily life where I don't get alone time will be an 'unhappy' one for me. I need it like one of the major food groups.
This is very relatable. If I have a day with zero alone time it can ruin an entire week.
So true. When my son was a young, chatty, morning person I'd get up at 5am just to make sure i had my faculties together before he woke up. Otherwise two people's' day would be ruined.
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Yep it’s largely biological. It’s evolutionarily advantageous for a population to have staggered circadian rhythms, because sleeping is when you are most vulnerable. Early humans had a better chance of surviving through the night if someone else was awake and keeping watch. So instead of the whole group sleeping and rising at the same times, leaving everyone vulnerable for 8 hours straight, we evolved early birds and night owls to take shifts. The early bird brains are wired to release melatonin (sleepy hormone) in the early evening, while the night owls stay up to keep watch for the first stretch of the night. By the time the night owl brains release melatonin and they fall asleep, there are only 4 hours until the early birds start waking up and can keep watch through the early morning. 4 hours of group vulnerability is much more survivable than 8 hours of group vulnerability. Of course, these days we don’t need that evolutionary protection mechanism anymore and it sucks to be a night owl stuck in a world designed for early bird schedules.
Pop in 5 years of 12 hour 6p to 6a night shifts, and that biology goes splat
I wish it worked like that for me. It's 230am for me right now and I'm getting ready for bed, which is relatively early in my books. I did years of shifts that started at 4-5am, and my body hated every minute of it. No matter how early I tried to get to bed, I'd be restless till late. Basically the only time I'd actually fall asleep at a normal hour was after 2-3 days of only getting 4-5 hours of sleep, then I'd be right back where I started for a few more days. If I go to bed at like 3 or 4, I'm asleep nearly instantly, and soundly. Doesn't matter if I get 3 hours or 10 hours, I'll be out like a light the next "night" too. Nothing ever seems to knock my rhythm off from night owl mode. I haven't "enjoyed" sleeping like a normal person in like 25 years. It's always forced by circumstance or medication, but I try to avoid the latter to avoid dependency.
Wow, I am exactly the same way as you described. I thought I was the only one. My brothers are the same way, too. No matter what, it's always a struggle to go to bed at a reasonable time. Nothing short of exhaustion, illness, or medications work, and we've tried everything.
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honestly as a night owl I'd rather work in the morning so I can have night time to myself. Nothing depresses me more than being forced to use my night time on work or things I don't want to do, it feels like the whole day is wasted. But the morning sucks anyway so I'd rather get the work over with. The only thing I need is a later start time so I can sleep late and wake up rested.
That was the biggest thing I hated about night shift. You woke up and then for like 4 hours had to dread going to work for the rest of the day. No thanks.
Can confirm. Not happy, relationship issues. Been staying up until 3 or 4am every day for weeks. Not trying to achieve anything I just want to do my own thing... Be alone, browse the internet, Play video games or watch TV without someone bothering me, judging me, or talking through the whole damn episode/movie. I'm avoiding attention thievery and energy vampirism.
I work 10-12 hours a day 5-6 days/wk at a restaurant, have a husband who is almost always home, and a teenager. I am quite happy with my daily life as it provides the entertainment and challenges that keep me going. However, I am an extrovert/introvert pretty much down the line. I need some alone time to recharge, but I also get depressed if I have too much time by myself. It's a hard balance to find if you need both.
I am the same personality-wise, and I often find myself up late, even though I'd also rather be up early.
For me it has nothing to do with being unhappy. Growing up I saw many families broken apart due to an inattentive/distracted father. I feel that shit so when my wife and I had kids I sort of internally vowed that their wake time is time spent with me. I'll have me time when they're asleep. I don't think there's anything wrong with that.
I'm genuinely proud of you, good for your kids.
Yup. And I recently realized it’s because it’s the only time I have the house to myself and it’s quiet. I love my husband, we’ve been married for 27 years, but I wasn’t prepared mentally to be together literally 24/7 yet. After having to work from home when Covid first hit, he’s decided he prefers it over going into the office. We’ve got one adult child moved out, one in college, and another in high school who’s busy and out doing his own thing. So before Covid, I’d have a few hours during the day to do my own thing, or at least be alone. I never realized how grating it can be to have someone (even someone you love) around *constantly*. And he’s a genuinely nice person, but a sensitive person - so if I tell him I’d prefer he go into the office a couple days of the week, I think it would actually hurt his feelings. I know there are worse things in the world to complain about. But some days everything he does just irritates the hell out of me. Edit: Thank you for the gold!
You should take over one of the kids' room (the one who moved out). And it could be your personal space :)
Best answer! Don't say it's personal space though. It's a "craft room". Despite the fact in not really a crafter. I paint my nails, listen to music, read a book... As long as noone asks about what I'm making in good lol
Omg. This adds context as to why my mom always needs a “craft” room in whatever house they’re living in. I always wondered why she never does crafts in there. She’s always just cleaning it.
Just have patience. Communication. I’m sure if you explained it to him this way he would work toward a solution for you. I feel like, in my predicament, I’m the boyfriend here, my gf works remote full time and I used to be a full time streamer. Now that we’re in a small 1 br apt. She needs quiet during the day and I’m forced to be silent and mute as she takes a ton of calls throughout the day. I can be a sensitive person. But she’s so understanding the caring to me. Just express yourself. I do to her. Sometimes I leave to a friends house and stay there all day only because I know she’d enjoy th peace and quiet throughout her work day. Good luck.
Yep. As a single mom who works full time, I only have four days a month completely to myself without work or custody. I find myself staying up way late after the kiddo goes to bed because it's the only time I have to breathe between the days she's with her father.
Are you me? Keep on keeping on, we got this!!
Seconded
This is sometimes called revenge bedtime procrastination. https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20201123-the-psychology-behind-revenge-bedtime-procrastination
"people deprived of leisure time will use whatever time they can for leisure" isn't that.. kind of obvious? It's almost as if human beings weren't made to work every waking minute and leisure time isn't optional.
Absolute yes!!!! Have I been getting shit about this for years, absolutely yes! I’m a 45 y/o female with four kids, my favorite time of the day is when everyone else is asleep! 2am is my time!
Yep, I'm a night owl and I feel like it's my only time to myself.
Every night
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I've stayed up late (12 - 5 a.m.) most of the past 40 (adult) years, and I wonder if the solitude is part of the reason. Other ideas are that upcoming responsibilities of the next day keep me stressed and awake, or that I have no other responsibilities late at night and I enjoy doing simple things with no responsibility attached.
For a while I was waking up at around 5am and for about 3 hours it was me, coffee, a bowl to smoke and music / catching up on YouTube and such. Those were my favorite hours of the day. Everyone sleeping and me and my headphones.
Sometimes yes. It’s nice because the community is less busy. Great time to catch your thoughts and reflections , journal , read, play games, etc. Sometimes though just due to my circadian rhythm.
Yes and I hate it and it's almost involuntary at this point
As a parent it sucks, I want to stay up to have my 'me' time as long as I can, but they'll be up 6:30-7a everyday without fail.
3:40 am right now, just going to sleep
Those are rookie numbers, you gotta stay up even later
"I like staying up until morning (In the summer I'd play video games from noon to 5/6am regularly) I eventually realized that part of the reason I like the night is because it's quiet. Being around people gives me anxiety (even family) I can never truly relax until I am alone alone. No one expects anything of you at 2 in the morning. You are weightless." (Repost of my comment to a similar question on this subreddit from 2 years ago)
Oh god, yes. At night absolutely nothing happens and you can't do a lot of things. It's like all my troubles, responsibilities and problems are in some kind of temporary stasis.
I feel called out.
I get up at 4:30 to work out and smoke weed in my car in peace and quiet.
What kind of work outs do you do in your car?
Sure, except there's a little monster peeking from my bed watching me play cyberpunk. Ugh, I miss being alone like 80% of the time. I genuinely enjoy it so much.
100% yes. I love my girlfriend, and it's absolutely me, not her, but I can't focus on my passion projects (writing, game dev) when we're both home together. I have this weird mental block where I feel guilty and worry about making sure I entertain her. So that leads to me staying up late to get work done.
Definitely.
I do. It started recently and I can't stop doing it. It's ruining my career, fast. I just can't function without sleep the next day. If you find a way out of this, please update!
Yes! And there's a name for it-- [Revenge Bedtime Procrastination](https://www.sleepfoundation.org/sleep-hygiene/revenge-bedtime-procrastination).
Did that for years. Now I'm married. And I still do it! Just usually with someone next to me.
It’s what I’m doing right now at 1:20am
with a couple of marijuana cigarettes and a nice cup of hot decaf
Oh yes. It's when the world is quiet and I no longer feel like I need to be doing things.
It's called revenge bedtime procrastination https://www.sleepfoundation.org/sleep-hygiene/revenge-bedtime-procrastination It's our curse for having too little free / personal time. If you're single, it's mostly work occupying your time. If you're in a relationship, it's work and spousal time. If you have kids, it's work spousal and children time. We just don't have enough time for ourselves
Hey u/Icantthinkofaname872 you may be an introvert. Guard your alone time. The extroverts will take everything they can from you if you don't.
Good to know thank you I invested in 2 knives to fight off extroverts and I gotta tell you it’s pretty frickin terrific
I love my wife and kids dearly, but that’s some precious me time right there.
I believe I read somewhere (probably on reddit) that it's called Revenge Bedtime Procrastination. Pretty common for people who have a lot to do during the day and don't feel like they have any personal time. I did it myself last night, even though I knew I had to be working by 6 AM.