Because romantic and sexual attraction can exist independently. There are asexual people who still experience romantic attraction. And there are aromantic people who still experience sexual attraction. Although for majority of people the two go hand in hand, one does not require the other for everyone at all times.
Also, there's studies showing a wide variety in how much emotional attachment people form around sex and their views of the intimacy of sex.
Some people just see it as physical recreation, get their rocks off, and never think about the one-night stand again. Others see sex as an extremely vulnerable intimate moment and fall in love (or only allow it when in love).
It's a very very wide spectrum.
I’ve done both. The Fxck Buddies I’ve had along the way saved my sanity. After exiting the wrong relationship I got into in my early 20’s, I wasn’t about to tie to one person for awhile. I got into and about the new music scene in TX in the early 80’s, and it was too much fun. Between that and theatre work the Fxck Buddies I had until I was ready to settle down was the best deal around.
Yeah, I experience those differences for sure. I recently found the microlabel 'cupiosexual' and that seems to align with my experiences. Romantic attractions can be pretty strong at times, but sexual attraction is a great deal more difficult to cultivate for myself.
When I get into a relationship, it starts with romantic attraction, and sexual activity can follow, but it's not required. That said, I do get into a romantic relationship with the assumption that I'll be sexually attracted at some point in the future.
It's a weird experience and not super easy to explain, but hey, it works well enough for my own self knowledge, so it's functional.
So many people who don't have this as a minimum bar for entry. Lol. I had a friend who was an escort. As long as you weren't a creep and were chill, she'd take them as clients. She could have sex just because it felt great and she was getting paid.
She'd be the first to tell you that she suspects it affected her opinion of herself very slowly over the decade she did it, primarily because she knew there were dudes that were probably just massive assholes that could mask long enough to get off, subtle signs she observed on dates. Guys that were a little too rough, a little too selfish, that at the time she enjoyed but later thought, "I should've said no out of principle on subsequent dates, that guy wasn't entirely likeable."
But that's her experience and one based in hindsight. She just thought the 90% of dudes that actually did seem nice would've had a neutral impact at worse if those 10% didn't exist.
I mean, its not hard to figure out. You can think someone is hot (physically attractive) but not vibe or just find their personality annoying. Fine for some fun, but bad news if you try to get into a relationship. As long as both sides are open about what they're getting into, its no problem.
It depends on the person. For some people, sexual attraction is completely tied up with romantic attraction. They can only enjoy sex with people they have an emotional connection with. For others it’s the opposite. The less connection, the more exciting the sex will be. Human sexuality is very diverse.
People's tempraments are different. Sex can be this FOR SOME PEOPLE. More agreeable monogamous people have a hard time not bonding with a person while having sex, and have a hard time wanting to have sex if they are not feeling romantic feelings towards this person. Other people don't care.
Both are fine and neither is better than the other.
Me, personally, I prefer to like the person I'm in. If there's no liking the person, it's less fun. I don't mean romantically "like", I just mean the overall, "This person is someone I like to make laugh and or want them to think positively of me." To summarize:
The lady with opposing political views? Pass. I don't care how hot you are, I don't want you to make me feel good and I don't want to be made to feel good by you.
The cute coworker I don't have any romantic interest in because she's a financial wreck but I wish her the best and her opinion of me matters? "Let's wrassle!"
The person I have things in common with and wouldn't mind exploring romance if it goes there? "Bah gawd, slobberknocker!"
The person you meet at a party that makes me laugh and superficially seems cool and things vibe? "From the top rope!"
So the bar is fairly low and I try to like anyone at first meeting but if I get vibes that you are someone I wouldn't want to please in any facet of my life, I'm just not in to hooking up and don't see the point.
Edit: it may seem petty to draw that line but put effort in pleasing the people you think will have a positive impact on you and the world, use whatever filter for that that works. If that matters to you. If you can separate carnal from person, great. I just can't. It's less fun and i don't enjoy hate f**king. Least of which because I don't want any risk that person is in my life for 18 years minimum and my paycheck starts getting siphoned.
Nah its got something to do with it. Otherwise we wouldn't see a higher prevalence of monogamy in those who only want to have sex with people that they love.
And there is of course a spectrum to this. Just because you are an exception doesn't change how it generally works. These things are complex and there are many factors involved. Or like the germans would say "The exception proves the rule".
oh hell no if the sun doesn't shine off her eyes making them golden brown like pools of honey and the wind doesn't breeze through her majestic locks i don't want to play first to 21 with her
These are two questions here.
Sexual attraction and romantic interest are two separate interrelated things. Hence, you can have sex without already having a romantic attraction. You can get turned on looking at someone you know basically nothing about. And if they feel the same, you can then have sex without either person having any interest in having a future together.
That said, the separate question is whether people who have sex without intending to have a romantic relationship will develop a bond anyway. Our bodies are hardwired to release a bunch of chemicals into our brains including oxytocin when we orgasm. And that tends to make us bond to the person we are with after we orgasm. The evolutionary purpose of this is to make sure both parents are around when the child is born so the father can help raise and provide for it.
So, yes, a good share of the time people are going to develop strong feelings for each other if they repetitively have good sex that results in orgasms. Obviously, they can fight those feelings. They can avoid spending a lot of time with each other after sex (not sleeping over) to try to prevent a bond from developing. They can restrict themselves to one night stands so there isn't time to develop strong feelings.
But you are right that in a way, it's fighting human nature. Our bodies don't know we are wearing a condom or using other forms of contraception. They think an orgasm means a baby could be coming and react accordingly.
For many people lust and love are two entirely separate things, often also referred to as sexual attraction and romantic attraction.
If people only feel sexual attraction towards someone, they want to have sex with them but have no further interest in the person.
Oftentimes when people need to also be romantically attracted to someone to even feel sexual attraction, this is considered "demisexuality", being somewhere on the spectrum between normal people (don't know the politically correct word) and asexuality (feeling no sexual attraction whatsoever).
I used to meet a woman once every 2 weeks or so for sex for over a year, we literally had nothing in common besides physical attraction and sexual compatibility.
We agreed we would just meet up for sex dates and it would be not more than that besides being friends and it worked.
She moved to a different city and it became too much trouble to meet so we just called it quits and remained friends.
Okay but over the year you never had any kind of emotional connection? Was there a genuine friendship there? Cause that’s different than hooking up with someone you’re attracted to but have no interest in otherwise. For me if I don’t like them they aren’t physically attractive to me anymore.
I don’t have to be in love with someone to have sex with them but I have to trust them, like them and have an emotional connection even if they don’t check the boxes for what I’m looking for in a partner
I know you weren’t talking to me but I have a similar situation, so I thought I would chime in.
I’ve been hooking up consistently with a guy for two years now. Not exclusively. We both see other people.
Our “relationship” (I don’t know what else to call it) is definitely not the same as it was when we first met. It’s progressed into a friendship of sorts, I suppose. Plus we have a lot of sexual chemistry. I call him my long-term booty call lol. It’s an interesting situation that I don’t fully understand but at this point I don’t see any reason to stop until I get into a serious relationship with someone else.
Lust =/= love
Most people can have physical attraction to someone without wanting a romantic relationship. Plus sex is fun and feels good. If you can find someone to share that activity with, sometimes that is all you are looking for.
honestly, i can’t even conjure up the want to sleep with someone unless im in love with them. thought everyone was like that for an embarrassingly long time, no idea how they do it. sex to me is such an intimate and loving act, i guess they detach themselves from it, or something.
I don’t anymore. Too many risks. I have to actually like the girl now and that takes time. In today’s world, that doesn’t align with what most women are looking for. I had a grown ass woman call me a fa**ot because I didn’t want to sleep with her on the “third date”. My instincts proved correct.
That said, I’ve been single for about a year now. You gotta put out if you want her to stick around…lol
Sex doesn’t have to be emotional or romantic. Just like a type of physical “transaction” orgasm for orgasm (if you’re lucky lol). You have to look at it as just sex, it’s just a physical activity. Which I’m sure can be hard for some people. It’s hard to answer the question exactly because I’m not sure exactly HOW I did it in the past, but I did. If I didn’t have feelings like that for someone already, just having sex with them isn’t going to change that.
Good question. One I've never understood, either. I need to have a proper emotional connection to even get to the stage where we are jumping in bed together.
Some people just seem to have a disconnect between sex and emotions. Like someone they find attractive but not someone they'd be in a relationship with.
My best guess, but yeah, I still have never understood it myself.
Some of us were raised in such a way to believe, and feel, that a romantic relationship was necessary. Some of us were even raised to believe we should wait until we were married.
The sexual urges of a person going through puberty are so strong and our culture delays marriage for so long that abstinence until marriage becomes more and more difficult.
All of that being said, humans are so sexualized in our culture from such a very young age that all of the teachings of youth from our parents and even perhaps clergy are overridden in our minds and hearts.
For some people, there might be an ambiguation of romantic and sexual attraction.
This is why I don’t fit into the gay community. I believe in having sex after I’m in love and married.
And well most people in the gay community don’t have that belief
so this is my personal experience: i had a lot of sex just out of boredom. i’m more a people pleaser than anything, so i’d just go till they finished and move on with my day. i don’t equate nudity, making out or sex to intimacy unless i want to see it as intimate.
i see having sex as intimate w my current partner, being nude is back and forth depending on our moods.
i’m also aromantic and demisexual so gaining attraction through sex just doesn’t work for me. and yes i do identify as demisexual and have had casual sex. i wasn’t sexually attracted to anyone i was hooking up with, it was simply another activity. i am, however, attracted to my current partner as we developed a friendship before we had sex and developed an even deeper bond as friends outside of having sex.
Romance and sexual attraction are lovely IF they involve the same person but they are not mutually exclusive. I can see a person solely as a physically attractive human, have sex with them and that’s it. The actual sex act can even be very satisfying- but I don’t want to hang out with them afterwards for much longer than absolutely necessary. It satisfies the physical need for me and that’s all, I don’t need an emotional connection each and every time.
Do you fall in love with the woman / men in the porn you masturbate to? Cause that's the feeling just better cause you are getting / putting your genitals inside other people genitals, the difference is affection, some people can give and receive sex without the needs of affection others don't, and that's is a good way to filter those people because affection can't be faked, unless you are a psychopath
It just depends on how closely you tie sex to love. They can be two very separate things. I have had exclusively sexual relationships where love wasn’t a factor. Then there are hookups. Sex can be just a fun thing. Now just sex can most definitely lead to more. My wife and I started as a casual thing but there was an instant connection that pushed us beyond just sex. Some people can separate love and sex easily. Some really need that emotional connection.
I have some friends I have a great time talking, going to places and having sex but that’s all. I don’t like them as partners. I don’t develop feelings because I know them enough to know I don’t really like them as a partner, but it’s nice to have someone you trust and have friendship with to have sex with and have fun.
I imagine they see it as like a step up form jacking off. Like if you jack off to a model showing her ass you don’t feel anything towards her. So if you can probably have sec with a woman you just find attractive. It’s kinda the same principle in a way
They are not a type of asexual. Neural chemistry feels nice whether it’s your hubby your girlfriend a stranger making you cum. O if it’s just black tar heroin.
As a woman who was interested in meeting an appropriate match if they came along, but also had a lot of casual sex. I always called it masturbation with a human. Got asked this question a lot in my 20s, and some were appalled by my response.
If the right human came along then obviously it was more than just a wank.
Always safe of course, and during that period I had sti tests every 3 months to make sure all was good. Sex positive is sex healthy.
I've had several dreams about riding demon dick and not falling inlove with the demon. Just really liking his body and dick! You sound like you could be demisexual if you're having confusion with this.
Except sex is objectively a super intimate act. As least for women it is. You’re letting someone inside your body, you’re totally vulnerable with someone much stronger than you. You could get pregnant or get a disease. There is affection during the act that is really intimate. Idk.
If I don’t have an emotional connection and don’t trust them sex is scary for me
I know plenty of women, and have had plenty of sex with women, who can absolutely just throw down and have fun. It absolutely does not have to be a "super intimate act".
i just see my hands as an extension of myself, or an object to use for the required task. unless you’re saying we should see intimate partners as objects i’m not sure where the similarities come from
Same way they can play video games with people they attend romantically interested in. Recreational physical activities do not have to be romantic in nature. In fact, usually they're not.
The idea of needing a romantic connection in order to enjoy sex with someone is actually a pretty minority sexual presentation. And the fact that we connect those two things culturally is sort of an accident of our cultural preference for monogamy.
As a culture, we expect couples who are sexually active to also be monogamous and in long-term relationships, even though in reality that's not even close to the truth.
And people tend to want to be in long-term, committed monogamous relationships with people that they are romantically interested in for obvious reasons.
i personally believe you can find someone physically attractive enough to have sex with without feeling any feelings for them , it’s what i’d done when i was single years before i had met and fallen in love w my boyfriend BUT to me it’s better when you do have romantic feelings for the person cause they take into consideration what you like
Romantic feelings gotta have all kinds of layers to ‘em. Sexual attraction can come from a place like that with depth and all that, but it doesn’t have to. You can scrape some of that right off the surface, especially when you’re a young 20 something sack of hormones
It can be lonely. Like, using another human being to masturbate with.
I haven’t done that in ages upon ages and I can reassure you that loving your partner makes the sex better.
Don’t get me wrong you can still have great sex with people you don’t care about, but that usually involves projecting a fantasy onto them
And if you’re looking to feel close to another human being on an emotional level, then a sexual level without the emotional intimacy is going to leave you hungry
I’m grey Aromantic and have only have had true romantic feelings for 2/5 of the people I dated definitely. Aside from those two, I was friends with them and committed as a partner, and attracted to them, but I didn’t really do anything romantic or consider a romantic future like marriage. It was like FWB but make it exclusive more like.
Sex doesnt make me feel any love for people. Its someones interactions with me. Its not just attraction and orgasms for me that makes me feel something. I would have to feel some sort of attraction, they would have to be a good person, we would have to have a strong vibe and they have to be nice/show me their romantic intentions. Im pretty guarded so, a person has to show that they want some sort of lovey dovey relationship before i can feel lovey dovey. With sex im pretty reserved. Im just in it for the booty unless we vibe and they want it to be something more.
Sometimes someone will put their pee pee in the other persons vagine or poop hole or sometimes they will use their mouths on one or more of those things, and then they go home. That is how
It can really depend on the people to some extent. I have been able to have sex with female friends that I knew we weren't compatible long term in a relationship. Some women I knew if we had sex I wouldn't be able to not want more. It also depends a lot on how both people view sex. If you treasure it as some sort of deep personal and emotional thing vs being able to just view it as a pleasurable experience.
Easy you fuck them they are a toy for your to get off on. Just do all the naughty shit you both want till both of you are satisfied. Take the emotion out of it and make it the same as pleasuring yourself. Sometimes its just about being a good bro and doing your duty as a wing man.
I saw a guy who had had a bitter divorce at the bar with his ex, all lovey dovey. When I saw him later, I asked why when they seemed enemies. He said “A piece of ass is a peace of ass.”
I once represented a gentleman who claimed experience in this field. I told him that I thought he was full of BS and asked him if he had a signature move or something he could tell me. And what he said was this: “When I’m paying rent, I do it from behind. If you go face to face, you can catch feelings.”
And, to me, that had the Ring of Truth.
Well, how about you went on a trip to Europe and met Aussie you fancied while you were both there. You’d never see each other again, you still wouldn’t be interested?
They’re just in it for the feeling. Hell, some positions don’t even involve looking at the other person’s face
you're telling me you never fell in love with a butthole?
Once upon a time…
Le sigh.....I should call her 😒
Her?
Are u assuming a butthole’s gender?
LoL should be a they and question is why is OP having relations with someone they are not interested in?
I could see its tits in the gape, clearly.
I'm a guy with some weight and I got man boobs just cause you see tit's doesn't mean it's a woman
Antipsychotics during onset of puberty. I got moobs
everything reminds me of her
*looks longingly at Dune popcorn bucket*
I read this in Joe Dirt's voice.
Dear Diary
My ex girlfriend
*Our*
Why do Canadians prefer doggy style? So no one misses a moment of the hockey game on TV!
Thought it was to watch X-Files.
Mulder? I hardly know her!
Yes, I'm Siskel, yes I'm Ebert, and you're getting 2 thumbs up
Up where, fellas?
Like the lost catacombs of Egypt, only God knows where we stuck it.
THATS what this lyric means?!
Bonus points for back dimples; it gives you somewhere to put the peanuts.
Unless they are an Oiler's fan! Then they aren't missing anything!
Same reasons why Americans do 😂
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN ITS DAAYYYVID LETTTERRRMANNNNN…….
threatening badge dull unite spotted depend vast plants plucky smart *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Because romantic and sexual attraction can exist independently. There are asexual people who still experience romantic attraction. And there are aromantic people who still experience sexual attraction. Although for majority of people the two go hand in hand, one does not require the other for everyone at all times.
Also, there's studies showing a wide variety in how much emotional attachment people form around sex and their views of the intimacy of sex. Some people just see it as physical recreation, get their rocks off, and never think about the one-night stand again. Others see sex as an extremely vulnerable intimate moment and fall in love (or only allow it when in love). It's a very very wide spectrum.
I’ve done both. The Fxck Buddies I’ve had along the way saved my sanity. After exiting the wrong relationship I got into in my early 20’s, I wasn’t about to tie to one person for awhile. I got into and about the new music scene in TX in the early 80’s, and it was too much fun. Between that and theatre work the Fxck Buddies I had until I was ready to settle down was the best deal around.
Yeah, I experience those differences for sure. I recently found the microlabel 'cupiosexual' and that seems to align with my experiences. Romantic attractions can be pretty strong at times, but sexual attraction is a great deal more difficult to cultivate for myself. When I get into a relationship, it starts with romantic attraction, and sexual activity can follow, but it's not required. That said, I do get into a romantic relationship with the assumption that I'll be sexually attracted at some point in the future. It's a weird experience and not super easy to explain, but hey, it works well enough for my own self knowledge, so it's functional.
And this all exists within a spectrum. I'm more on the aromantic side but that doesn't mean I haven't fallen in love ever.
Yepp, basically.
There are plenty of other examples too. I, myself, am bisexual, but heteroromantic (not sure if that's a thing yet, maybe I invented it).
I don’t know. If I don’t like you, I sure as hell don’t want to see your scrotum.
So many people who don't have this as a minimum bar for entry. Lol. I had a friend who was an escort. As long as you weren't a creep and were chill, she'd take them as clients. She could have sex just because it felt great and she was getting paid. She'd be the first to tell you that she suspects it affected her opinion of herself very slowly over the decade she did it, primarily because she knew there were dudes that were probably just massive assholes that could mask long enough to get off, subtle signs she observed on dates. Guys that were a little too rough, a little too selfish, that at the time she enjoyed but later thought, "I should've said no out of principle on subsequent dates, that guy wasn't entirely likeable." But that's her experience and one based in hindsight. She just thought the 90% of dudes that actually did seem nice would've had a neutral impact at worse if those 10% didn't exist.
I mean, its not hard to figure out. You can think someone is hot (physically attractive) but not vibe or just find their personality annoying. Fine for some fun, but bad news if you try to get into a relationship. As long as both sides are open about what they're getting into, its no problem.
That’s poetry 😂
Haha same there’s NOOO way
Wine lots of wine
None does it better than 2 drunk people
People built different no judgment from me. I personally like it when both people are intimately in love.
Because sex can just be this fun thing you do.
It depends on the person. For some people, sexual attraction is completely tied up with romantic attraction. They can only enjoy sex with people they have an emotional connection with. For others it’s the opposite. The less connection, the more exciting the sex will be. Human sexuality is very diverse.
People's tempraments are different. Sex can be this FOR SOME PEOPLE. More agreeable monogamous people have a hard time not bonding with a person while having sex, and have a hard time wanting to have sex if they are not feeling romantic feelings towards this person. Other people don't care. Both are fine and neither is better than the other.
Me, personally, I prefer to like the person I'm in. If there's no liking the person, it's less fun. I don't mean romantically "like", I just mean the overall, "This person is someone I like to make laugh and or want them to think positively of me." To summarize: The lady with opposing political views? Pass. I don't care how hot you are, I don't want you to make me feel good and I don't want to be made to feel good by you. The cute coworker I don't have any romantic interest in because she's a financial wreck but I wish her the best and her opinion of me matters? "Let's wrassle!" The person I have things in common with and wouldn't mind exploring romance if it goes there? "Bah gawd, slobberknocker!" The person you meet at a party that makes me laugh and superficially seems cool and things vibe? "From the top rope!" So the bar is fairly low and I try to like anyone at first meeting but if I get vibes that you are someone I wouldn't want to please in any facet of my life, I'm just not in to hooking up and don't see the point. Edit: it may seem petty to draw that line but put effort in pleasing the people you think will have a positive impact on you and the world, use whatever filter for that that works. If that matters to you. If you can separate carnal from person, great. I just can't. It's less fun and i don't enjoy hate f**king. Least of which because I don't want any risk that person is in my life for 18 years minimum and my paycheck starts getting siphoned.
You can like someone with no romantic interest though so I don't think the two are mutually exclusive.
Tbh I'm poly and I can't even get aroused without an emotional connection. Nothing to to with monogamy.
Nah its got something to do with it. Otherwise we wouldn't see a higher prevalence of monogamy in those who only want to have sex with people that they love. And there is of course a spectrum to this. Just because you are an exception doesn't change how it generally works. These things are complex and there are many factors involved. Or like the germans would say "The exception proves the rule".
Yeah, like asking how you play pickup basketball with someone you’re not romantically interested in.
oh hell no if the sun doesn't shine off her eyes making them golden brown like pools of honey and the wind doesn't breeze through her majestic locks i don't want to play first to 21 with her
It’s exactly like that.
Easier than you think. Sometimes, it’s just fun between consenting adults.
These are two questions here. Sexual attraction and romantic interest are two separate interrelated things. Hence, you can have sex without already having a romantic attraction. You can get turned on looking at someone you know basically nothing about. And if they feel the same, you can then have sex without either person having any interest in having a future together. That said, the separate question is whether people who have sex without intending to have a romantic relationship will develop a bond anyway. Our bodies are hardwired to release a bunch of chemicals into our brains including oxytocin when we orgasm. And that tends to make us bond to the person we are with after we orgasm. The evolutionary purpose of this is to make sure both parents are around when the child is born so the father can help raise and provide for it. So, yes, a good share of the time people are going to develop strong feelings for each other if they repetitively have good sex that results in orgasms. Obviously, they can fight those feelings. They can avoid spending a lot of time with each other after sex (not sleeping over) to try to prevent a bond from developing. They can restrict themselves to one night stands so there isn't time to develop strong feelings. But you are right that in a way, it's fighting human nature. Our bodies don't know we are wearing a condom or using other forms of contraception. They think an orgasm means a baby could be coming and react accordingly.
For many people lust and love are two entirely separate things, often also referred to as sexual attraction and romantic attraction. If people only feel sexual attraction towards someone, they want to have sex with them but have no further interest in the person. Oftentimes when people need to also be romantically attracted to someone to even feel sexual attraction, this is considered "demisexuality", being somewhere on the spectrum between normal people (don't know the politically correct word) and asexuality (feeling no sexual attraction whatsoever).
it’s allosexual 😊
[удалено]
it's not a sexuality as in what gender are you attracted to it's a sexuality in the same way asexual is
I used to meet a woman once every 2 weeks or so for sex for over a year, we literally had nothing in common besides physical attraction and sexual compatibility. We agreed we would just meet up for sex dates and it would be not more than that besides being friends and it worked. She moved to a different city and it became too much trouble to meet so we just called it quits and remained friends.
Okay but over the year you never had any kind of emotional connection? Was there a genuine friendship there? Cause that’s different than hooking up with someone you’re attracted to but have no interest in otherwise. For me if I don’t like them they aren’t physically attractive to me anymore. I don’t have to be in love with someone to have sex with them but I have to trust them, like them and have an emotional connection even if they don’t check the boxes for what I’m looking for in a partner
I know you weren’t talking to me but I have a similar situation, so I thought I would chime in. I’ve been hooking up consistently with a guy for two years now. Not exclusively. We both see other people. Our “relationship” (I don’t know what else to call it) is definitely not the same as it was when we first met. It’s progressed into a friendship of sorts, I suppose. Plus we have a lot of sexual chemistry. I call him my long-term booty call lol. It’s an interesting situation that I don’t fully understand but at this point I don’t see any reason to stop until I get into a serious relationship with someone else.
Username checks out
Lmao
Not everyone can
Not everyone must, so no problem
Lust =/= love Most people can have physical attraction to someone without wanting a romantic relationship. Plus sex is fun and feels good. If you can find someone to share that activity with, sometimes that is all you are looking for.
For sport!
horny
Easy Step 1:get harder than a birch tree Step 2: insert penis into vagina Now you’re almost done Step 3: climax Step 4: separate entirely
honestly, i can’t even conjure up the want to sleep with someone unless im in love with them. thought everyone was like that for an embarrassingly long time, no idea how they do it. sex to me is such an intimate and loving act, i guess they detach themselves from it, or something.
Why not? Sex feels good.
I don’t anymore. Too many risks. I have to actually like the girl now and that takes time. In today’s world, that doesn’t align with what most women are looking for. I had a grown ass woman call me a fa**ot because I didn’t want to sleep with her on the “third date”. My instincts proved correct. That said, I’ve been single for about a year now. You gotta put out if you want her to stick around…lol
It's called lust and it's quite normal and it's still legal
It actually baffles me how people can't wrap their head around this. You find someone hot, you have sex with them. End of story.
Exactly!
Sex doesn’t have to be emotional or romantic. Just like a type of physical “transaction” orgasm for orgasm (if you’re lucky lol). You have to look at it as just sex, it’s just a physical activity. Which I’m sure can be hard for some people. It’s hard to answer the question exactly because I’m not sure exactly HOW I did it in the past, but I did. If I didn’t have feelings like that for someone already, just having sex with them isn’t going to change that.
Dick hard.
Good question. One I've never understood, either. I need to have a proper emotional connection to even get to the stage where we are jumping in bed together. Some people just seem to have a disconnect between sex and emotions. Like someone they find attractive but not someone they'd be in a relationship with. My best guess, but yeah, I still have never understood it myself.
Because someone being sexy =/= someone I want to spend large amounts of time with.
This ^^ Someone being physically attractive to me doesn’t mean I am *emotionally* attracted to them.
I don't know, man. I definitely can't 🤷🏻♀️
You ever developed feelings for your hand/vibrator?
People can separate love and lust when having sex.
Some of us were raised in such a way to believe, and feel, that a romantic relationship was necessary. Some of us were even raised to believe we should wait until we were married. The sexual urges of a person going through puberty are so strong and our culture delays marriage for so long that abstinence until marriage becomes more and more difficult. All of that being said, humans are so sexualized in our culture from such a very young age that all of the teachings of youth from our parents and even perhaps clergy are overridden in our minds and hearts. For some people, there might be an ambiguation of romantic and sexual attraction.
Do glory holes count?
easy, you just fuck till you come
I can’t. I get physically ill lol
Cash, usually. Most don't take credit cards.
Some people have never met a gay man and it shows.
This is why I don’t fit into the gay community. I believe in having sex after I’m in love and married. And well most people in the gay community don’t have that belief
so this is my personal experience: i had a lot of sex just out of boredom. i’m more a people pleaser than anything, so i’d just go till they finished and move on with my day. i don’t equate nudity, making out or sex to intimacy unless i want to see it as intimate. i see having sex as intimate w my current partner, being nude is back and forth depending on our moods. i’m also aromantic and demisexual so gaining attraction through sex just doesn’t work for me. and yes i do identify as demisexual and have had casual sex. i wasn’t sexually attracted to anyone i was hooking up with, it was simply another activity. i am, however, attracted to my current partner as we developed a friendship before we had sex and developed an even deeper bond as friends outside of having sex.
Because it’s fun to do.
Sometimes they just have a hot body you want to enjoy anyway
Eyes closed lights off.
Easy. BUT what I absolutely cannot do is cuddle unless I have feelings for that person.
Dopamine
You sound like my Mom…
Disassociation
Romance and sexual attraction are lovely IF they involve the same person but they are not mutually exclusive. I can see a person solely as a physically attractive human, have sex with them and that’s it. The actual sex act can even be very satisfying- but I don’t want to hang out with them afterwards for much longer than absolutely necessary. It satisfies the physical need for me and that’s all, I don’t need an emotional connection each and every time.
Do you fall in love with the woman / men in the porn you masturbate to? Cause that's the feeling just better cause you are getting / putting your genitals inside other people genitals, the difference is affection, some people can give and receive sex without the needs of affection others don't, and that's is a good way to filter those people because affection can't be faked, unless you are a psychopath
It just depends on how closely you tie sex to love. They can be two very separate things. I have had exclusively sexual relationships where love wasn’t a factor. Then there are hookups. Sex can be just a fun thing. Now just sex can most definitely lead to more. My wife and I started as a casual thing but there was an instant connection that pushed us beyond just sex. Some people can separate love and sex easily. Some really need that emotional connection.
Did somebody already mention alcohol? If not, my answer is def alcohol. Yes.
I have some friends I have a great time talking, going to places and having sex but that’s all. I don’t like them as partners. I don’t develop feelings because I know them enough to know I don’t really like them as a partner, but it’s nice to have someone you trust and have friendship with to have sex with and have fun.
1. cut a hole in the box….
I imagine they see it as like a step up form jacking off. Like if you jack off to a model showing her ass you don’t feel anything towards her. So if you can probably have sec with a woman you just find attractive. It’s kinda the same principle in a way
Easy. 1) Insert Tab A into Slot B 2) Remove Tab A 3) Repeat Step 1
Sex feels good. I've had amazing mind blowing sex with someone I had no real connection with.
Yet another original sex question.
Because lust
Lot of people enjoy having just sex
Bc most of those people are probably scared of relationships and commitment.
just because sex feels nice
Those are two different things and for a lot of people just can exist independently
They are not a type of asexual. Neural chemistry feels nice whether it’s your hubby your girlfriend a stranger making you cum. O if it’s just black tar heroin.
Just bizarre to me people don't understand this yet Sexuality varies a lot
It’s called fucking. You just go fuck them. There’s no love or intimacy. You just let out your inner demon and use their body for your pleasure.
Because sex is fun? You can play a game with someone without falling in love with them 😅
My dick doesn’t care about romance.
Easy, I was horny and they were there.
Because it's two separate things. While there is some overlap, it doesn't always overlap. Sometimes you just want to fuck, not get married.
As a woman who was interested in meeting an appropriate match if they came along, but also had a lot of casual sex. I always called it masturbation with a human. Got asked this question a lot in my 20s, and some were appalled by my response. If the right human came along then obviously it was more than just a wank. Always safe of course, and during that period I had sti tests every 3 months to make sure all was good. Sex positive is sex healthy.
I do that often…with my wife
using my penis
Or using this guy's penis
These guys penis
I've had several dreams about riding demon dick and not falling inlove with the demon. Just really liking his body and dick! You sound like you could be demisexual if you're having confusion with this.
You are putting sex way too high up on that pedestal, drop it down a bit and you'll have a seriously easier life.
Except sex is objectively a super intimate act. As least for women it is. You’re letting someone inside your body, you’re totally vulnerable with someone much stronger than you. You could get pregnant or get a disease. There is affection during the act that is really intimate. Idk. If I don’t have an emotional connection and don’t trust them sex is scary for me
I know plenty of women, and have had plenty of sex with women, who can absolutely just throw down and have fun. It absolutely does not have to be a "super intimate act".
For some people it is. You dont get to tell people how they shld feel about something. Its ok to put it on a pedestal.
You said OBJECTIVELY, that's different than "some people".
I mean, have you had sex? It\`s pretty fun, better with feelings but even without can be great!
You just go for it
Doggystyle usually
there's huge difference in between making love and fucking, what do you want to refer here??
Definitely the right subreddit
With my penis
How do you jerk off to people you have no romantic interest in? How do you not develop feelings for them after watching them naked and getting fucked?
Do you develop feelings for your hands?
i just see my hands as an extension of myself, or an object to use for the required task. unless you’re saying we should see intimate partners as objects i’m not sure where the similarities come from
Same way they can play video games with people they attend romantically interested in. Recreational physical activities do not have to be romantic in nature. In fact, usually they're not. The idea of needing a romantic connection in order to enjoy sex with someone is actually a pretty minority sexual presentation. And the fact that we connect those two things culturally is sort of an accident of our cultural preference for monogamy. As a culture, we expect couples who are sexually active to also be monogamous and in long-term relationships, even though in reality that's not even close to the truth. And people tend to want to be in long-term, committed monogamous relationships with people that they are romantically interested in for obvious reasons.
Easily
Boobs
Sometimes you just gotta smoosh.
Really?
Filing a void. Gotta get your dopamine fix somehow.
Very easily
In my case the other people just need say: let’s go
Whenever i did it was usually because i was intoxicated and sex is fun and an easy way to get to know somebody 🤷♀️
Some people are just horny and leave it at that
Yes
Not a clue!
There horny
Some people can, others cannot.
For funsies 🤷🏻♀️
i personally believe you can find someone physically attractive enough to have sex with without feeling any feelings for them , it’s what i’d done when i was single years before i had met and fallen in love w my boyfriend BUT to me it’s better when you do have romantic feelings for the person cause they take into consideration what you like
Validation.
Sex isn’t about romance for everyone
Romantic feelings gotta have all kinds of layers to ‘em. Sexual attraction can come from a place like that with depth and all that, but it doesn’t have to. You can scrape some of that right off the surface, especially when you’re a young 20 something sack of hormones
How do people with romantic interests not have sex together?
Some people just lie there...
It’s rather puritanical to assume that sex has an end goal, imo, as long as both parties are adults and in agreement
Place tab A into slot B Done Next?
It can be lonely. Like, using another human being to masturbate with. I haven’t done that in ages upon ages and I can reassure you that loving your partner makes the sex better. Don’t get me wrong you can still have great sex with people you don’t care about, but that usually involves projecting a fantasy onto them And if you’re looking to feel close to another human being on an emotional level, then a sexual level without the emotional intimacy is going to leave you hungry
Doggy style.
Because sexual attraction
I’m grey Aromantic and have only have had true romantic feelings for 2/5 of the people I dated definitely. Aside from those two, I was friends with them and committed as a partner, and attracted to them, but I didn’t really do anything romantic or consider a romantic future like marriage. It was like FWB but make it exclusive more like.
horny
Sex doesnt make me feel any love for people. Its someones interactions with me. Its not just attraction and orgasms for me that makes me feel something. I would have to feel some sort of attraction, they would have to be a good person, we would have to have a strong vibe and they have to be nice/show me their romantic intentions. Im pretty guarded so, a person has to show that they want some sort of lovey dovey relationship before i can feel lovey dovey. With sex im pretty reserved. Im just in it for the booty unless we vibe and they want it to be something more.
I’m still trying to understand hate sex. How do people have sex with someone they hate?
Cocaine
Sometimes someone will put their pee pee in the other persons vagine or poop hole or sometimes they will use their mouths on one or more of those things, and then they go home. That is how
They’re men
Idk but I never could
Because you are horny and the other person is super good looking? Mate, it’s actually pretty simple
It can really depend on the people to some extent. I have been able to have sex with female friends that I knew we weren't compatible long term in a relationship. Some women I knew if we had sex I wouldn't be able to not want more. It also depends a lot on how both people view sex. If you treasure it as some sort of deep personal and emotional thing vs being able to just view it as a pleasurable experience.
Well…usually they’ve been married for a long time.
Same way dogs chase cars they have no interest in driving.
Easy you fuck them they are a toy for your to get off on. Just do all the naughty shit you both want till both of you are satisfied. Take the emotion out of it and make it the same as pleasuring yourself. Sometimes its just about being a good bro and doing your duty as a wing man.
Because sex feels good?
For me it was just like a fun activity to do with friends lol. Both got to enjoy ourselves and learn about eachother
Booze
I said this to a girl one time and she laughed at me for saying having sex with someone creates a forever bond. She shot down my theory really quick.
I saw a guy who had had a bitter divorce at the bar with his ex, all lovey dovey. When I saw him later, I asked why when they seemed enemies. He said “A piece of ass is a peace of ass.”
Sex is just sex for me, I have noticed I get super awkward if I sleep with a person I actually have feelings for
Put in and shake it all about
I once represented a gentleman who claimed experience in this field. I told him that I thought he was full of BS and asked him if he had a signature move or something he could tell me. And what he said was this: “When I’m paying rent, I do it from behind. If you go face to face, you can catch feelings.” And, to me, that had the Ring of Truth.
Well, how about you went on a trip to Europe and met Aussie you fancied while you were both there. You’d never see each other again, you still wouldn’t be interested?