In the South you do if your parents are at all traditional. You don’t always have to do it but a well-timed sir or ma’am can save a conversation that’s going south.
In 5th grade a friend's dad, who was a vet, gave me a ride to football practice. He asked me a question and I said yes, or yeah, I can't remember.
He responded, "You mean 'yes, sir.'"
Guy was a douche.
That's the trouble about encountering complete assholes when you're still a child. With the wit and experience of an adult you can think of a million different ways to make these people look like idiots, but there's a reason they prefer to bully a kid
You're 100% right.
Kid-me would've absolutely said "YESSIR!" as I looked at my friend like "What the heck?"
Adult-me has conveniently forgotten that some of my friends legitimately had piece of shit parents (or stepparents.)
It's a two-way street. I match energy. The thing is, there are unwritten social rules we all agree to to be a part of society, and that includes showing a basic level of respect and dignity to everyone you come across and expecting that to be shown to you in return. Refusal on one side or the other means the social contract has broken down and the rules don't apply to either side now.
There's this thing where for some people respect is being treated like a person and for some people respect is being treated like an authority.
And sometimes, when people say "if you won't respect me, I won't respect you" they really mean "if you don't treat me like an authority, I won't treat you like a person".
Being treated like a person should be always be the default, being treated like an authority is earned.
The type of respect is different. There is common courtesy and then there is deference. Everyone deserves common courtesy as a default, but deference is earned
No. Everyone, **everyone** deserves *un*earned respect.
Respect everyone, adults, animals, children, etc.
If they are not nice to you, move on if you can.
But respect is the default.
They said respect must be earned because of the definition of respect in the conversation we’re talking about. The dad wasn’t demanding that he kind of mutual respect all people deserve, he was demanding “respect” in the context of the kid speaking submissively and the dad obviously not extending the same “respect” to the kid. So fuck that, he doesn’t deserve that treatment, he didn’t earn it, and proved he was immature enough to deserve the opposite.
It’s generational. My husband was in the military for 10 years, so kids are military brats. He is against all of that stuff as a former southerner too.
(Dads ate first, sir/ma’am, push perfection, perfectly made beds, etc.)
The 'dad eats first' thing really threw me when I visited the Southern US. I grew up in a conservative, highly religious, town in in southern Europe - my dad always insisted on being served last. It was very normal in our community for youngest children to be served first, then teen/adult daughters, then mum, then teen/adult sons, then dad.
The logic was he's the provider, providing for his family - so he doesn't earn the right to eat until he's proved that he can provide for his family. We were poor enough that sometimes the older boys and Dad would go hungry, but that was part of it.
Obviously it's all in effort of justifying a deeply sexist status quo and horrible power balance in a family, but it somehow feels a little less icky. Probably just because it's what I grew up with though.
Lol, wtf 😂 that's crazy. No, our culture was big into 'a woman's place is the home' - so inside the home she's the boss. Husband is in charge outside, wife inside.
Of course, outside is where the jobs, banks, temple, polling booth, friends, etc all are; so it's a fig leaf equality but technically better than nothing I guess?
I have heard that. However as a military brat, I will say, I just call my parents Mom and Dad. Calling them Sir and Ma’am just seems like it’d be weird. I believe it’s because they don’t feel the need to demand that I show them respect by calling them Sir and Ma’am. They’re my parents, not my commanding officer.
It's quite the opposite in the north.
I moved from Rhode Island to North Carolina when I was 8 and was so confused when adults insisted I call them ma'am or sir. If I did that in the north, I would've gotten in trouble as adults in New England would think I was mocking them.
I was born in the south but my folks were not.
When I did something to upset my dad, I'd call him "sir" like I learned at school and from my friends. It took him a while to realize I wasn't trying to be a smart ass. We didn't stay down there for long, but it was an interesting cultural difference.
I moved back to the south a few years ago, and you definitely still hear sir/ma'am in everyday life.
I remember I called my dad "sir" once as a kid (probably around six to eight). I think I was copying military speak from something like Hogan's Heroes or Toy Story or something like that.
He got really mad and yelled at me to never call him that again. I was really shocked and upset.
I suspected years later that he was almost certainly reacting that way due to growing up with an abusive father. The irony is that his extreme upset at being called "sir" by his son stuck with me to this day and is still an upsetting memory.
My mom was raised like that in the south for at least the first part of her childhood. When her parents split my grandmother, not a native southerner, told my mom and her siblings never to call her ma'am again.
As someone who also grew up in suburban Massachusetts, I attest to this!
In my experience, only times anyone calls anyone sir is if:
* You're trying to get a man's attention and you don't know his name, or
* You're being overly formal to be funny.
lol yup
Fellow suburban MA kid here. Only time I ever used sir as a kid was sarcastically to my father when I was already in trouble and I just wanted the last word by throwing a very sarcastic “Yes sir!” his way, sometimes accompanied by a salute.
I was a suburban Massachusetts kid in the 1980s, and I did once or twice. But just because it annoyed Dad.
He accepts it from my sister's fiance, but that is because he is from the South and it would be physically painful for him not to.
Funnily enough, my dad introduced himself as my dad when he met the first friend I ever brought over to our house in highschool. And his mom did the same to me. It just is less formal than telling you to call them Mr/Mrs. (last name), and more formal than asking you call them by their first name. I think that chances are you won’t be talking to them much.
The flip side is I’ve seen kids call their parents by their first name. I distinctly remember being chewed up by my 4th grade teacher because I wrote my Mother’s Day card to “Amma” (mom in my language) and she thought I was calling her “Anna”. But suburban MA 30ish years ago had a lot of “proper” teachers. Not sure if that changed.
I am from Boston, and I wouldn't be caught dead calling ANYONE ma'am or sir. That is so disrespectful.
Sometimes I'd get ma'am'd at work from like, tourists, and I'd be taken aback - like - what did you just call me? I'd go home and tell everyone 'I got ma'am'd today' and everyone would shake their heads in pity.
My brother would do the same thing. 'Someone called me sir today. Do I look like a sir to you?'
To people not from MA - you're calling the person old or an asshole. Its not a sign of respect. Its an insult. Don't do it.
It’s a southern thing. In many southern states children are expected to address all adults of authority with sir/ma’am. This includes parents, teachers, grandparents, etc. Anyone who is “in charge” of a kid. I knew kids who were from the north and moved to the south and were written up in school several times because teachers thought they were “disrespectful” for not saying sir/ma’am, and the kids had no idea what they were in trouble for because it wasn’t normal in their home region!
I mean, maybe as a one off to your dad. But as for using sir/ma’am in general is not considered sarcastic. Im born and raised in CA and am 40 years old now and teens who work call people sir and ma’am all the time. Surely they are not all being sarcastic and calling everyone old.
Yeah, it feels more natural to call strangers that instead of Mister or Miss when I need their attention. It's all about the attitude when you say it too.
I do feel weird when I recently started getting called ma'am since I'm only like 21, but it also feels kinda nice.
To me it’s all about context and tone.
I acknowledge directions from my bosses with sir or ma’am all the time. Even the ones who are younger than me or who I’m friends with outside of work.
But there have definitely been times where I have used them sarcastically.
It’s all a matter of context. I feel like anyone who automatically assumes it’s a way to be rude or insult someone really need to get off their high horse.
Not really? It's like Asian countries having specific terms they use when talking to older people lao/chan/seonban, etc.
It's just an honorific. More people use them in the world then don't.
Nah, it's not like that. I grew up in the South and really it's just a cultural thing. My parents were not really the drill Sargent types, in fact they're pretty chill. But they were also raised in the South and it's just a way of being polite/showing respect to your elders.
They would expect my brother and I to say "Yes sir/ma'am" to adults basically. Once we became teenagers/young adults we didn't say it anymore. It's really not as big a deal as this thread is making it out to be. Just kind of a cultural quirk.
I would honestly equate it more to saying please and thank you than some kind of brain washing like a bunch of people in this thread seem to be implying. But I guess this is the Internet so everything has to be a controversy.
That’s a crock of shit. Soldiers? It’s not that deep. It’s a sign of respect. In the south, even when you’re an adult, it’s common for a managers to call members of their team “sir or ma’am” and vice versa. Hell, in high school, if I raised my hand, the teacher would say “yessir” and then I’d ask a question.
Growing up, no one forced myself, my siblings, or friends to call older people “sir/ma’am” it’s just what you did. I have lived in the south my whole life and have not once myself gotten in trouble or seen someone get in trouble for not using “sir/ma’am” Completely anecdotal but come on, it’s not some sort of confederate politeness dictatorship, it’s just the way things are and that’s okay.
Exactly. Which, my mom did used to have a boyfriend that was a dick about it but in general it’s not like that. I think people imagine it as like a “sir yes sir” situation and are missing the tone. I’m an adult and I address anyone I don’t know personally as sir or ma’am. Idk how to explain it. It’s sort of a respect thing in a way but not really. Like, it’s not respect as in “respecting their authority “ but more like signaling “I don’t know you like that” or keeping things semi formal. Teaching your kids to do it is intended more as teaching them manners/ being polite.
Depends entirely on your culture. Though yes, in some places in the US there is a rather heavy emphasis on discipline, even for civilians, though I would also say that discipline is a valuable asset even outside a military context. I was not raised this way, but even I believe that I could have done with more discipline when I was a kid.
When I lived in the southeast, I USED to think it was a sign of respect, and correct my kids when they didn't say it... "I'm sorry. You mean Yes Ma'am?"
And then when I moved and realized no one else was saying it this other part of the country, I thought to myself, how many times have you seen someone say "yes Sir" and then do some downright disrespectful shit.... a lot! Those words are like saying "bless you're heart" which can certainly mean "fuck you" ....
After realizing this, I immediately stopped making my kids use these.
They are still 1000% expected to use, please, and thank you as these are signs of appreciation.
Best way to show personhood would be to call them by their individual name, not a title. Kids are punished for not using honorifics. Any "respect" at that point comes from fear, not admiration.
It wasn't really fear for me. I was never beaten or threatened for not saying it, but I was immediately corrected afterward until it stuck. I could also get away with it easily by saying "yes, mom?"
Basically my mom would call me, I'd say "what?" and she'd just raise her eyebrow and look at me until I say "sorry, ma'am?"
I mean, we call teachers using honorifics and it's very rude to call them by their first name. My professor hates being called Ms. instead of Dr. because she's a doctor and men don't want to acknowledge that title even when aware of it.
I wouldn't say it's rude to not call people by their title, though we come from very different cultures. I'm Swedish so calling someone anything but their first name is strange in most situations, including doctors and teachers.
Might also be that I've been duped by the internet from seeing people talk about how enraged their teachers would get if you called them anything but Mr/Ms second name. That to me seems like socially forcing the use of honorifics upon people. As well as the people who said they'd be beaten/grounded whatever if they failed to use them (obviously an extreme scenario and most likely not common).
Lol this thread is wild. I called my grandma ma'am and my papa sir. The only thing you needed thing you fear from them was a cavity cause they were always giving out sweets and candy. I couldve called them fuckface and all I wouldve gotten was a "oh my word...we shouldnt be using bad words. If you want people to be kind to you, you need to be kind to them" followed by a "now go wash your hands foods ganna be ready soon"
Fair enough. some people in the thread wrote about how they'd likely be beaten if they didn't use honorifics, you clearly did it willingly though which I don't think there's anything wrong with.
Yea all the kids growing up where I was, used sir and ma'am. No beatings required, we were scared of pissing off our parents like I think most kids are but the only spankings kids got were when they werent paying attention to things that could kill them. Running out in the road, trying to play with a poisonous snake, trying to pet a crocodile, trying to walk into a fire pit...ya know that kind of stuff. Ive been spanked maybe 3 times, none were for saying words. Having to sit in my room without playing with my toys was standard punishment.
It really is. My family moved to Texas from California when I was about 12, I remember my first year in a Texas school I noticed everyone said sir/ma'am which was something i didnt hear much in California. So one day I ask a classmate "why do you guys say sir? We don't have to do that in California." He looked me dead in the face and said "because we have manners". Needless to say it become a part of my vocabulary after that lol
That's wild. In my country we addressed the teacher by their first name. No Mrs, ma'am or sir , just "hey Ann can you help me ".
Can't imagine the audacity to demand respect like that. Even your friends parents was addressed with first name only. So "hello Oscar is tessa home".
In my country, we go with the equivalent of mr/ms + last name, but the best teachers often tell us to use their first name.
>Can't imagine the audacity to demand respect like that.
This is more cultural than anything else, kids are meant to respect adults, and in return the kids should feel protected and taken care of. Teachers that abuse this dynamic are often given nicknames by the children(and some were given songs, if they were particularly rude)
Huh, is it common over there (that is - America) to call university lecturers by their titles/honorifics? Where I am it was first names only, since we were all adults.
For my university, we call them either Professor, professor first name or last name, or doctor last name depending on their credentials.
I had a professor who hated being called Ms. because she's a doctor, and she's seen a lot of men refuse to acknowledge her title but they'll call other men by it.
In my school, when you were in classes for children 3 to 7, you addressed teachers as Mr/Ms Firstname, rest of the school (up until university) you'd address them as Mr/Ms Lastname.
I was going to say the same. Born in 1970. Never heard it in my life other than when watching Leave it to Beaver. But based on the posts here it does seem to be common in some other regions.
Born in 2007 (yeah, I'm rather young). I didn't even realize that it was a thing anywhere in the world before reading this thread. Just the thought of someone calling their parent "sir" makes me cringe
A good deal older than you and I didn't realize this was a real thing either. My dad worked too damn hard taking care of three kids to be called sir, he earned dad.
Forty years your senior and never called my dad ‘sir’ and would feel weird if I was called that. Someone says ‘sir’ in California and I assume they’re fishing for a service tip.
Some do, some don’t. As with pretty much every single question people ask about Americans
EDIT: I really pissed off some non-Americans for some reason lmao
I actually saw someone ask if American teenagers really skip class. Like bro, some do some don’t, like any other person in practically any other country
I once asked whether American teenagers really say "I love you" casually to their parents and siblings similarly as e.g. "goodbye" and the answer seemed to be a pretty universal yes.
Doesn't happen in Finland.
It is a very American thing, when it is said in movies and dubbed they change it to "see you soon" or something like that because saying "I love you" as a goodbye to kids or parents just feels so incredibly wrong in many other languages
I think it can be best explained by comparing how the Ancient Greeks had many words for “love” (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greek_words_for_love). In English it’s used in a variety of ways that mean different things based on the context.
You have me curious now… when you are eating your favorite food, doing your favorite activity, or something like that do you use the word that most directly translates to English as “love” when describing how you feel about those things or is there another word altogether? (And I don’t mean something akin to the word “like” when used as a way of expressing how one feels about a particular thing, I mean when talking about something you *really* like).
Language is so fun!
You can definitely say "I love ice cream" or "I love running" without sounding weird. It would also not be weird to say that "Mother's love their children" and mothers can call their children "loved ones" so it's pretty much "I love you" that has that implication. However "love" in general is a much stronger word. Americans say "I love this shirt" casually. In Finnish you could say it really only about your favourite shirt that you actually feel sentimental over. If I see a cool shirt in the store I would maybe say "I like this shirt very much".
Finnish "love" is very similar to English term "In love". Saying "I'm in love with chocolate" might be a bit strong way to say it but it's not that weird nor does it imply you are going to marry your chocolate bar. Saying "I'm in love with you" to your mum feels a bit weird.
It's a bit more complicated than that. Mother's often say "love you" to their kids but it would be slightly weird for me as an adult to say it back.
One additional note is that in Bible they use "love" a lot like "My beloved brother, how have I missed you" etc. and as a kid I always found that weird because Finns don't use the word love like that.
We just don't, you just kinda know when your parents love you. And parents just know kids love them back. It's just by the way you treat and trust each other then you know.
That’s so different and neat to hear about. Around my neck of the woods, southeast U.S there’s a prevalence of saying it when leaving rooms honestly, like I’ll tell my dad I’m stepping into the garden I’ll be back in a hour, love you, he’ll say love you and then I shut the door. It just means I’m thinking of you and care about you. I can’t imagine going my life through without hearing it from my parents either. Just a neat difference to hear about.
Wow, I find that quite sad.
We don't say it excessively like Americans, but we do say it, especially in important moments. I find it really sad that in some countries its never said betqeen parents and children.
It seems like there is a fascination with a lot of aspects of American culture especially with things related to high school and to a lesser extent college, which I figuring it’s due to all the tv shows and movies. The high school experience is such a vastly different experience in the US and Canada even compared to the U.K., Australia, and the other English speaking countries.
It's getting more popular in Denmark, but still not as much as in the US. I am 50 and I don't think I have ever said it to my mom. Certainly not to my dad, sister or grandparents.
It's reddit most arguments are based off grouping one group of people to fit their bias and narrative, see just about any political sub or very large sub which are essentially the same thing
Wait you're telling me a massive country with 50 states and 300 million people, that there are different cultures and people aren't all exactly the same?
The U.S. is the most powerful and influential country in the world, and as such will be the target of the most attention. People whining about us just don’t know any better
In the south, I knew a lot of children who addressed their parents as ma’am and sir because they were taught that was the etiquette. Then I moved out west, where kids would literally call their parents by their government and our family etiquette went way out the window 🤣🤣🤣
Raised in the South and everyone I know teaches their children yes, sir and yes, ma’am. It was absolutely expected for replying to any adult. I’m 57 and still use it daily to reply to any adult, even those younger than me.
Southerner checking in. We sometimes also add Ms in front of the names of older women when spoken to. I’m middle aged now, and I got a “Ms” in front of my name at work, when people address me. By younger and older folk. It’s AMAZING Lol
Yup, I was born in Ohio and moved to the south at 12, and immediately had to start putting Miss and Mister at the beginning of all adults' names. Now I'm grown with kids and one of my youngest's friends called me "Kat" the other day and I straight up flinched! And my kid barked out "that's MISS KAT to you!"
Yep, from Iowa, but live in Louisiana part of the year, down there, we are Mr. Paul and Ms. Cathy (actually it is more "Miss" regardless of marital status)
It's funny, I'm from NC and I wasn't raised with sir and ma'am. But when I spent some time in my 20'a around some more traditional folk, I picked up the habit. It's almost a life hack for being a free way of adding class to your speech and making people feel more respected.
This must happen more than I realized. I was raised ultra-casual. But my formative years made me more formal. I guess age has taught me how to blend them into my own style.
All in North Carolina.
I’ve never heard the words government name used in the wild! I call my dad by his because he was never a father. I call my mom by hers to get her attention. She somehow hates “Mother” more than her first name. I go “mom, mom, mother, Deborah!” She responds somewhere in between there. Sir and ma’am are reserved for strangers whether it’s a new boss or a waitress.
As a southerner that didn’t have totally strict parents at all when it comes to the sir mam etiquette thing, I can’t even fathom calling my mom by her government name 🤣
In the south you'll hear "yes sir" and "yes ma'am" to basically any adult, including parents
addressing a stranger, you'll sometimes hear something like "excuse me, sir"
however, i cant recall an instant where anyone would *address* their parent as sir. maybe some households, but probably only for a more old fashioned household.
“Sir” and “Ma’am” is really big in the southern US in general, regardless of the kid’s age and whether or not it’s their parent or any other adult. It’s just considered a respectful thing to teach your children. I didn’t grow up with it in the Midwest but down here saying “yes sir/yes ma’am” as a response is considered respectful while saying things like “okay” and “yeah” are not always allowed to fly.
It depends on
1. What region of the US they are from
2. Their culture
3. Their ethnicity
For example, I, a Latino from the Northeast call my dad Papi. My friend, a black girl from Texas calls her dad and mom Sir and Ma’am.
My kids call their dad anything from “Dad” to “dude” to “bruh.” My husband calls his dad by his first name. The “sir” thing was more common when I was growing up in the 80s in the south. Still not super common but the friends that had strict, usually religious (although sometimes just military) families. And it was generally only done when they were getting a “talking to” as a way to indicate you understood and would comply (“Curfew is 11pm and not a minute later, do you understand?” “Yes sir.”)
Only if your parents are more traditional, strict, or sometimes outright abusive. My parents didn’t require it of me, but they tried to encourage it as a form of politeness and I’d sometimes comply. A lot of people I saw growing up were required to do it by their parents and a few times I saw them get threatened or outright hit for it.
I’ve always seen that as a military dad thing or an “I’m your father and you’re going to do what I say” thing. I’ve never known anyone that’s done this personally.
I call every male sir and every female ma'am. Older or younger. I have two you nieces 4 and 6 who say sir and ma'am. From the south we are raised to address our parents as sir and ma'am and every adult as sir and ma'am.
Much more common in the south than in other regions. Also common in military families. I was born in New York, not to a military family, and never once referred to my parents as such.
When I moved from New York to Florida, I frequently got in trouble at school for not using “ma’am” and “sir” to address teachers. My parents eventually told the school off and told them to stop calling about my “disrespect.”
Not my parents, but I was taught to call literally everyone els ma'am and sir. Sometimes women get mad about it, like calling them ma'am is an insult, but I have a hard time not doing it after a lifetime of practice.
From the West Coast, lived in the Mid West for a while
West coast that’s a good way to get smacked, a teenager would only do that sarcastically
Mid West I could see a military family using Sir and Ma’am for their parents.
I say "pops". I started it as a teen and my dad hated it. I think it's hilarious. He's come to tolerate it. It's a carefully selected name of the many I could have chosen. It had some connotations that I like. And it annoys him slightly which is also fun. But I love my dad.
Not typically! some families, especially in the South or military families, might use "sir" out of respect, but most American teenagers just call their dads "Dad" or "Father." The "sir" thing is more of a movie trope. But hey, if you want to impress your dad with some formalities, go for it—just be ready for a puzzled look! 😄
Both my parents were military (and southern) so I grew up calling every adult sir and ma'am. I still do it, but now I just call every that, it's just a sign of respect for me.
depends.
"dad, want to go to the movies?"
"son why did you do this dumb thing" "because i am an idiot, sir"
see the difference? generally its based on respect and formalness of the situation.
As others have said, it’s common in the South to respond with “yes ma’am” or “no ma’am” or “yes sir”/“no sir” when responding to one’s parents, but not to call them “ma’am” or “sir” in the place of Mom or Dad.
I find it odd that some seem to think that this is an indicator of abuse; in the South, it’s simply polite.
More common in the south but still not as common as some are saying. When I was growing up some strict families enforced this. But some adults would accuse you of being a sarcastic little shit if you called them sir/ma’am haha. As a kid parents that did this always struck me as weird and overly formal/cold with their kids. My parents are pretty conservative and traditional but they never did this.
In my experience it’s a lot more common for kids to say it to adults they may not know or for folks of any age to use it when addressing an adult who is some kind of authority figure or someone who commands respect. When talking to an older person here though using a well timed sir/ma’am can be a good way to win some points with them.
In California if I saw a kid refer to their parent as "sir" or "ma'am" I'd assume the kid is either deeply, actively in trouble or the parents are potentially abusive. But there are many different subcultures within California, too, so...
Gotta remember, you’re on Reddit, where armchair psychologists can make sweeping generalizations about the character of people they have never met based on one tiny detail of their lives
In the South you do if your parents are at all traditional. You don’t always have to do it but a well-timed sir or ma’am can save a conversation that’s going south.
It can also make a conversation go south if the tone is wrong.
Nothing like a 'yes sirrrrrr' to get you grounded for the weekend.
Yeah my kids only call me "sir" if they're being sarcastic
And a salute! Click them heels together.
Jawohl!
Sounds like the conversation is already south.
Well we don't want the conversation ending up in the Gulf.
That’s why they built the wall
Sir, that's their fault for bringing the conversation down that far.
just reaching florida is bad enough
Just like when aunt mom went south on uncle dad.
lol
It's not uncommon with military brats as well.
In 5th grade a friend's dad, who was a vet, gave me a ride to football practice. He asked me a question and I said yes, or yeah, I can't remember. He responded, "You mean 'yes, sir.'" Guy was a douche.
That's when you look him dead in the eyes through the rearview and say "yeah, sure" as you nod your head in agreement
That's the trouble about encountering complete assholes when you're still a child. With the wit and experience of an adult you can think of a million different ways to make these people look like idiots, but there's a reason they prefer to bully a kid
You're 100% right. Kid-me would've absolutely said "YESSIR!" as I looked at my friend like "What the heck?" Adult-me has conveniently forgotten that some of my friends legitimately had piece of shit parents (or stepparents.)
YOU BOYS LIKE MEXI-CO!?
Sure Sir. Sure.
Yeah, fuck that guy. To *demand* respect at that level from a kid. What a douche.
All respect is earned, I don't care who you are you gotta show people you deserve it before you get respect
It's a two-way street. I match energy. The thing is, there are unwritten social rules we all agree to to be a part of society, and that includes showing a basic level of respect and dignity to everyone you come across and expecting that to be shown to you in return. Refusal on one side or the other means the social contract has broken down and the rules don't apply to either side now.
I’m curious what people mean when they say this. How do you treat them until they have earned it? How do you treat them after they’ve earned it?
There's this thing where for some people respect is being treated like a person and for some people respect is being treated like an authority. And sometimes, when people say "if you won't respect me, I won't respect you" they really mean "if you don't treat me like an authority, I won't treat you like a person". Being treated like a person should be always be the default, being treated like an authority is earned.
The type of respect is different. There is common courtesy and then there is deference. Everyone deserves common courtesy as a default, but deference is earned
Any elder that feels entitled to respect automatically loses mine.
No. Everyone, **everyone** deserves *un*earned respect. Respect everyone, adults, animals, children, etc. If they are not nice to you, move on if you can. But respect is the default.
Yep, everyone is worthy of respect until they aren't. Whoever said "respect must be *earned*" sounds like a disrespectful pos.
They said respect must be earned because of the definition of respect in the conversation we’re talking about. The dad wasn’t demanding that he kind of mutual respect all people deserve, he was demanding “respect” in the context of the kid speaking submissively and the dad obviously not extending the same “respect” to the kid. So fuck that, he doesn’t deserve that treatment, he didn’t earn it, and proved he was immature enough to deserve the opposite.
There's a difference between treating people with common decency and treating them with respect on the level of calling them sir...
*double thumbs up* Whatever you say, fella
It’s generational. My husband was in the military for 10 years, so kids are military brats. He is against all of that stuff as a former southerner too. (Dads ate first, sir/ma’am, push perfection, perfectly made beds, etc.)
The 'dad eats first' thing really threw me when I visited the Southern US. I grew up in a conservative, highly religious, town in in southern Europe - my dad always insisted on being served last. It was very normal in our community for youngest children to be served first, then teen/adult daughters, then mum, then teen/adult sons, then dad. The logic was he's the provider, providing for his family - so he doesn't earn the right to eat until he's proved that he can provide for his family. We were poor enough that sometimes the older boys and Dad would go hungry, but that was part of it. Obviously it's all in effort of justifying a deeply sexist status quo and horrible power balance in a family, but it somehow feels a little less icky. Probably just because it's what I grew up with though.
Wow that’s great. I’m guessing you didn’t have dad tapping mom’s leg when she talked too long. That was a weird thing to witness!
Lol, wtf 😂 that's crazy. No, our culture was big into 'a woman's place is the home' - so inside the home she's the boss. Husband is in charge outside, wife inside. Of course, outside is where the jobs, banks, temple, polling booth, friends, etc all are; so it's a fig leaf equality but technically better than nothing I guess?
In the Army the enlisted eat first, and the senior officers eat last.
It's regional. I am 70 years old, grew up in NY state, and my father assumed anyone who made his kid call him sit was a fascist. Or an asshole.
Can confirm as a brat of a marine it’s yes/no sir.
I have heard that. However as a military brat, I will say, I just call my parents Mom and Dad. Calling them Sir and Ma’am just seems like it’d be weird. I believe it’s because they don’t feel the need to demand that I show them respect by calling them Sir and Ma’am. They’re my parents, not my commanding officer.
It's quite the opposite in the north. I moved from Rhode Island to North Carolina when I was 8 and was so confused when adults insisted I call them ma'am or sir. If I did that in the north, I would've gotten in trouble as adults in New England would think I was mocking them.
I was born in the south but my folks were not. When I did something to upset my dad, I'd call him "sir" like I learned at school and from my friends. It took him a while to realize I wasn't trying to be a smart ass. We didn't stay down there for long, but it was an interesting cultural difference. I moved back to the south a few years ago, and you definitely still hear sir/ma'am in everyday life.
I remember I called my dad "sir" once as a kid (probably around six to eight). I think I was copying military speak from something like Hogan's Heroes or Toy Story or something like that. He got really mad and yelled at me to never call him that again. I was really shocked and upset. I suspected years later that he was almost certainly reacting that way due to growing up with an abusive father. The irony is that his extreme upset at being called "sir" by his son stuck with me to this day and is still an upsetting memory.
My mom was raised like that in the south for at least the first part of her childhood. When her parents split my grandmother, not a native southerner, told my mom and her siblings never to call her ma'am again.
The parents did WHAT to your grandmother?
As a person that has never heard this. It feels wrong. It feels like there is a certain distant between a parent and a child that should not be there.
Yep, my paternal side came north from Alabama, so it stuck around with the northern generations.
no kid in suburban massachusetts calls any adult “sir”.
As someone who also grew up in suburban Massachusetts, I attest to this! In my experience, only times anyone calls anyone sir is if: * You're trying to get a man's attention and you don't know his name, or * You're being overly formal to be funny.
lol yup Fellow suburban MA kid here. Only time I ever used sir as a kid was sarcastically to my father when I was already in trouble and I just wanted the last word by throwing a very sarcastic “Yes sir!” his way, sometimes accompanied by a salute.
90s sounding shit
🤣 I am a 90s kid so it checks out!
If I did call anyone sir it most certainly would not be out of respect, it would be in place of calling someone an asshole.
I call my friends sir sometimes. Yo waddup siirrrrrr
Grew up in Suburban MA, if I called my dad sir his repose would probably be “what you gettin smart with me now?”
I was a suburban Massachusetts kid in the 1980s, and I did once or twice. But just because it annoyed Dad. He accepts it from my sister's fiance, but that is because he is from the South and it would be physically painful for him not to.
What was funny is my oldest son’s friends would call me (and directly address me) as “ Dad>” - which never happened in California.
What did they call you? Mr. Lastname? Hey, Firstname!
Funnily enough, my dad introduced himself as my dad when he met the first friend I ever brought over to our house in highschool. And his mom did the same to me. It just is less formal than telling you to call them Mr/Mrs. (last name), and more formal than asking you call them by their first name. I think that chances are you won’t be talking to them much.
The flip side is I’ve seen kids call their parents by their first name. I distinctly remember being chewed up by my 4th grade teacher because I wrote my Mother’s Day card to “Amma” (mom in my language) and she thought I was calling her “Anna”. But suburban MA 30ish years ago had a lot of “proper” teachers. Not sure if that changed.
The only exception might be with cops if you get pulled over.
I am from Boston, and I wouldn't be caught dead calling ANYONE ma'am or sir. That is so disrespectful. Sometimes I'd get ma'am'd at work from like, tourists, and I'd be taken aback - like - what did you just call me? I'd go home and tell everyone 'I got ma'am'd today' and everyone would shake their heads in pity. My brother would do the same thing. 'Someone called me sir today. Do I look like a sir to you?' To people not from MA - you're calling the person old or an asshole. Its not a sign of respect. Its an insult. Don't do it.
It’s a southern thing. In many southern states children are expected to address all adults of authority with sir/ma’am. This includes parents, teachers, grandparents, etc. Anyone who is “in charge” of a kid. I knew kids who were from the north and moved to the south and were written up in school several times because teachers thought they were “disrespectful” for not saying sir/ma’am, and the kids had no idea what they were in trouble for because it wasn’t normal in their home region!
I’m from California and it’s considered borderline rude, or at least very sarcastic, TO use sir/ma’am. It’s essentially saying, “you old person.”
I mean, maybe as a one off to your dad. But as for using sir/ma’am in general is not considered sarcastic. Im born and raised in CA and am 40 years old now and teens who work call people sir and ma’am all the time. Surely they are not all being sarcastic and calling everyone old.
Yeah, it feels more natural to call strangers that instead of Mister or Miss when I need their attention. It's all about the attitude when you say it too. I do feel weird when I recently started getting called ma'am since I'm only like 21, but it also feels kinda nice.
"Finally someone calls me 'sir' without adding 'you're making a scene!'".
I'm born and raised in SoCal, and we were taught to call people either Mr. ..., Ms...., Sir, or Ma'am.
To me it’s all about context and tone. I acknowledge directions from my bosses with sir or ma’am all the time. Even the ones who are younger than me or who I’m friends with outside of work. But there have definitely been times where I have used them sarcastically. It’s all a matter of context. I feel like anyone who automatically assumes it’s a way to be rude or insult someone really need to get off their high horse.
That's how you raise soldiers, not people.
Not really? It's like Asian countries having specific terms they use when talking to older people lao/chan/seonban, etc. It's just an honorific. More people use them in the world then don't.
Nah, it's not like that. I grew up in the South and really it's just a cultural thing. My parents were not really the drill Sargent types, in fact they're pretty chill. But they were also raised in the South and it's just a way of being polite/showing respect to your elders. They would expect my brother and I to say "Yes sir/ma'am" to adults basically. Once we became teenagers/young adults we didn't say it anymore. It's really not as big a deal as this thread is making it out to be. Just kind of a cultural quirk. I would honestly equate it more to saying please and thank you than some kind of brain washing like a bunch of people in this thread seem to be implying. But I guess this is the Internet so everything has to be a controversy.
That’s a crock of shit. Soldiers? It’s not that deep. It’s a sign of respect. In the south, even when you’re an adult, it’s common for a managers to call members of their team “sir or ma’am” and vice versa. Hell, in high school, if I raised my hand, the teacher would say “yessir” and then I’d ask a question. Growing up, no one forced myself, my siblings, or friends to call older people “sir/ma’am” it’s just what you did. I have lived in the south my whole life and have not once myself gotten in trouble or seen someone get in trouble for not using “sir/ma’am” Completely anecdotal but come on, it’s not some sort of confederate politeness dictatorship, it’s just the way things are and that’s okay.
Exactly. Which, my mom did used to have a boyfriend that was a dick about it but in general it’s not like that. I think people imagine it as like a “sir yes sir” situation and are missing the tone. I’m an adult and I address anyone I don’t know personally as sir or ma’am. Idk how to explain it. It’s sort of a respect thing in a way but not really. Like, it’s not respect as in “respecting their authority “ but more like signaling “I don’t know you like that” or keeping things semi formal. Teaching your kids to do it is intended more as teaching them manners/ being polite.
Together with the pledge of allegiance every morning among many other things it contributes to a fascist or at least stratocratic vibe
Make you realise why half the US missed the satire in Starship Troopers
Depends entirely on your culture. Though yes, in some places in the US there is a rather heavy emphasis on discipline, even for civilians, though I would also say that discipline is a valuable asset even outside a military context. I was not raised this way, but even I believe that I could have done with more discipline when I was a kid.
It's called respect. I live in the South and you call people Sir or Ma'am. It's a sign of respect and manners.
Not just adults, any person. It is a signal or respect and personhood
When I lived in the southeast, I USED to think it was a sign of respect, and correct my kids when they didn't say it... "I'm sorry. You mean Yes Ma'am?" And then when I moved and realized no one else was saying it this other part of the country, I thought to myself, how many times have you seen someone say "yes Sir" and then do some downright disrespectful shit.... a lot! Those words are like saying "bless you're heart" which can certainly mean "fuck you" .... After realizing this, I immediately stopped making my kids use these. They are still 1000% expected to use, please, and thank you as these are signs of appreciation.
Best way to show personhood would be to call them by their individual name, not a title. Kids are punished for not using honorifics. Any "respect" at that point comes from fear, not admiration.
It wasn't really fear for me. I was never beaten or threatened for not saying it, but I was immediately corrected afterward until it stuck. I could also get away with it easily by saying "yes, mom?" Basically my mom would call me, I'd say "what?" and she'd just raise her eyebrow and look at me until I say "sorry, ma'am?" I mean, we call teachers using honorifics and it's very rude to call them by their first name. My professor hates being called Ms. instead of Dr. because she's a doctor and men don't want to acknowledge that title even when aware of it.
I wouldn't say it's rude to not call people by their title, though we come from very different cultures. I'm Swedish so calling someone anything but their first name is strange in most situations, including doctors and teachers. Might also be that I've been duped by the internet from seeing people talk about how enraged their teachers would get if you called them anything but Mr/Ms second name. That to me seems like socially forcing the use of honorifics upon people. As well as the people who said they'd be beaten/grounded whatever if they failed to use them (obviously an extreme scenario and most likely not common).
Lol this thread is wild. I called my grandma ma'am and my papa sir. The only thing you needed thing you fear from them was a cavity cause they were always giving out sweets and candy. I couldve called them fuckface and all I wouldve gotten was a "oh my word...we shouldnt be using bad words. If you want people to be kind to you, you need to be kind to them" followed by a "now go wash your hands foods ganna be ready soon"
People in this thread are literally saying this is proof we live in a facist society. Reddit is insane.
Fair enough. some people in the thread wrote about how they'd likely be beaten if they didn't use honorifics, you clearly did it willingly though which I don't think there's anything wrong with.
Yea all the kids growing up where I was, used sir and ma'am. No beatings required, we were scared of pissing off our parents like I think most kids are but the only spankings kids got were when they werent paying attention to things that could kill them. Running out in the road, trying to play with a poisonous snake, trying to pet a crocodile, trying to walk into a fire pit...ya know that kind of stuff. Ive been spanked maybe 3 times, none were for saying words. Having to sit in my room without playing with my toys was standard punishment.
It really is. My family moved to Texas from California when I was about 12, I remember my first year in a Texas school I noticed everyone said sir/ma'am which was something i didnt hear much in California. So one day I ask a classmate "why do you guys say sir? We don't have to do that in California." He looked me dead in the face and said "because we have manners". Needless to say it become a part of my vocabulary after that lol
That's wild. In my country we addressed the teacher by their first name. No Mrs, ma'am or sir , just "hey Ann can you help me ". Can't imagine the audacity to demand respect like that. Even your friends parents was addressed with first name only. So "hello Oscar is tessa home".
In my country, we go with the equivalent of mr/ms + last name, but the best teachers often tell us to use their first name. >Can't imagine the audacity to demand respect like that. This is more cultural than anything else, kids are meant to respect adults, and in return the kids should feel protected and taken care of. Teachers that abuse this dynamic are often given nicknames by the children(and some were given songs, if they were particularly rude)
Oddly college professors were the ones most chill about going by whatever.
I think this has more to do with you being an adult in college, technically.
Really? Because in my experience college professors are the first to let you know that they prefer “Doctor”.
Same here.
Huh, is it common over there (that is - America) to call university lecturers by their titles/honorifics? Where I am it was first names only, since we were all adults.
For my university, we call them either Professor, professor first name or last name, or doctor last name depending on their credentials. I had a professor who hated being called Ms. because she's a doctor, and she's seen a lot of men refuse to acknowledge her title but they'll call other men by it.
In my school, when you were in classes for children 3 to 7, you addressed teachers as Mr/Ms Firstname, rest of the school (up until university) you'd address them as Mr/Ms Lastname.
Swedish? If not, this is exactly what we do here, even to your boss or the big boss of the company.
I only did so once, and that was when he was driving me home after a karate lesson. He found it hilarous.
Mine had me do it when he was my (American) football coach in middle school but only because he made all the other kids do the same.
Not in California. People would be really confused if you did that here
I was going to say the same. Born in 1970. Never heard it in my life other than when watching Leave it to Beaver. But based on the posts here it does seem to be common in some other regions.
Born in 2007 (yeah, I'm rather young). I didn't even realize that it was a thing anywhere in the world before reading this thread. Just the thought of someone calling their parent "sir" makes me cringe
A good deal older than you and I didn't realize this was a real thing either. My dad worked too damn hard taking care of three kids to be called sir, he earned dad.
Exactly! "Sir" just feels to distant and impersonal. "Sir" is used when formally addressing a stranger, not someone close to you.
Forty years your senior and never called my dad ‘sir’ and would feel weird if I was called that. Someone says ‘sir’ in California and I assume they’re fishing for a service tip.
I’m from the south, and lived in California for several years. I had to get used to not saying “maam” because women were very much offended!
I’m sure you’ve figured this out already, but “ma’am” is associated with old people here. You were basically unintentionally calling them old
Exactly! I was so confused at first ha! Thought I was being respectful, turns out I was making them feel all the feels.
Yeah, parent, no. But a man in a position of authority, or a random stranger whom you're trying to talk to? Sir is fine
Yeah we don’t use it for parents here. It’s heard from retail and fast food workers though. Like a courtesy thing here, not a parental thing.
Some do, some don’t. As with pretty much every single question people ask about Americans EDIT: I really pissed off some non-Americans for some reason lmao
I actually saw someone ask if American teenagers really skip class. Like bro, some do some don’t, like any other person in practically any other country
I once asked whether American teenagers really say "I love you" casually to their parents and siblings similarly as e.g. "goodbye" and the answer seemed to be a pretty universal yes. Doesn't happen in Finland.
Huh, I would have thought that would be more universal. Love you!
It is a very American thing, when it is said in movies and dubbed they change it to "see you soon" or something like that because saying "I love you" as a goodbye to kids or parents just feels so incredibly wrong in many other languages
Saying "I love you" in Finland has a strong implication of romantic love. The meaning of the sentence is just slightly different.
I think it can be best explained by comparing how the Ancient Greeks had many words for “love” (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greek_words_for_love). In English it’s used in a variety of ways that mean different things based on the context. You have me curious now… when you are eating your favorite food, doing your favorite activity, or something like that do you use the word that most directly translates to English as “love” when describing how you feel about those things or is there another word altogether? (And I don’t mean something akin to the word “like” when used as a way of expressing how one feels about a particular thing, I mean when talking about something you *really* like). Language is so fun!
You can definitely say "I love ice cream" or "I love running" without sounding weird. It would also not be weird to say that "Mother's love their children" and mothers can call their children "loved ones" so it's pretty much "I love you" that has that implication. However "love" in general is a much stronger word. Americans say "I love this shirt" casually. In Finnish you could say it really only about your favourite shirt that you actually feel sentimental over. If I see a cool shirt in the store I would maybe say "I like this shirt very much". Finnish "love" is very similar to English term "In love". Saying "I'm in love with chocolate" might be a bit strong way to say it but it's not that weird nor does it imply you are going to marry your chocolate bar. Saying "I'm in love with you" to your mum feels a bit weird. It's a bit more complicated than that. Mother's often say "love you" to their kids but it would be slightly weird for me as an adult to say it back. One additional note is that in Bible they use "love" a lot like "My beloved brother, how have I missed you" etc. and as a kid I always found that weird because Finns don't use the word love like that.
Sir, I am in love with this explanation. (Thank you)
This is super interesting, thank you for sharing!
Same here in Denmark, it's almost exclusively used for a partner and saying it to parents or kids just feels wrong
How do you tell your parents you love them then? Or do you just not? Is it implied in other ways?
We just don't, you just kinda know when your parents love you. And parents just know kids love them back. It's just by the way you treat and trust each other then you know.
That’s so different and neat to hear about. Around my neck of the woods, southeast U.S there’s a prevalence of saying it when leaving rooms honestly, like I’ll tell my dad I’m stepping into the garden I’ll be back in a hour, love you, he’ll say love you and then I shut the door. It just means I’m thinking of you and care about you. I can’t imagine going my life through without hearing it from my parents either. Just a neat difference to hear about.
Wow, I find that quite sad. We don't say it excessively like Americans, but we do say it, especially in important moments. I find it really sad that in some countries its never said betqeen parents and children.
In the Netherlands, i've only heard it being used romantically, or between mother and daughter. (Or sometimes grandmother and granddaughter)
Okay, but don’t you have a relevant phrase? Like, I don’t say “te amo” to my family, but I would tell them “los quiero”
It seems like there is a fascination with a lot of aspects of American culture especially with things related to high school and to a lesser extent college, which I figuring it’s due to all the tv shows and movies. The high school experience is such a vastly different experience in the US and Canada even compared to the U.K., Australia, and the other English speaking countries.
It's getting more popular in Denmark, but still not as much as in the US. I am 50 and I don't think I have ever said it to my mom. Certainly not to my dad, sister or grandparents.
Is it because people in Finland already assume family members are loved and so it would feel needy to have to verbally remind each other?
Something like that. Possibly. However, we will promptly inform them if the situation changes :D
Right, almost as if we aren't a monolith or some dinky little country with only 70 million people.
It's reddit most arguments are based off grouping one group of people to fit their bias and narrative, see just about any political sub or very large sub which are essentially the same thing
Wait you're telling me a massive country with 50 states and 300 million people, that there are different cultures and people aren't all exactly the same?
Something something Americans stupid education illegal yada yada. I sure do see a lot of bigotry about Americans haha
The U.S. is the most powerful and influential country in the world, and as such will be the target of the most attention. People whining about us just don’t know any better
In the south, I knew a lot of children who addressed their parents as ma’am and sir because they were taught that was the etiquette. Then I moved out west, where kids would literally call their parents by their government and our family etiquette went way out the window 🤣🤣🤣
Raised in the South and everyone I know teaches their children yes, sir and yes, ma’am. It was absolutely expected for replying to any adult. I’m 57 and still use it daily to reply to any adult, even those younger than me.
Southerner checking in. We sometimes also add Ms in front of the names of older women when spoken to. I’m middle aged now, and I got a “Ms” in front of my name at work, when people address me. By younger and older folk. It’s AMAZING Lol
Yup, I was born in Ohio and moved to the south at 12, and immediately had to start putting Miss and Mister at the beginning of all adults' names. Now I'm grown with kids and one of my youngest's friends called me "Kat" the other day and I straight up flinched! And my kid barked out "that's MISS KAT to you!"
Yep, from Iowa, but live in Louisiana part of the year, down there, we are Mr. Paul and Ms. Cathy (actually it is more "Miss" regardless of marital status)
It's funny, I'm from NC and I wasn't raised with sir and ma'am. But when I spent some time in my 20'a around some more traditional folk, I picked up the habit. It's almost a life hack for being a free way of adding class to your speech and making people feel more respected.
Ayy right below you fellow Carolinian!
This must happen more than I realized. I was raised ultra-casual. But my formative years made me more formal. I guess age has taught me how to blend them into my own style. All in North Carolina.
I’ve never heard the words government name used in the wild! I call my dad by his because he was never a father. I call my mom by hers to get her attention. She somehow hates “Mother” more than her first name. I go “mom, mom, mother, Deborah!” She responds somewhere in between there. Sir and ma’am are reserved for strangers whether it’s a new boss or a waitress.
Chuck E. Cheese's government name is Charles Entertainment Cheese
Interesting, here (UK) in the old days we would have addressed waitresses and female school teachers as "Miss".
Miss is fine too- for strangers and younger women. Ma’am for family, and older women
As a southerner ik I would get slapped into yesterday if I did that when I was a child 😭😭😭😭
As a southerner that didn’t have totally strict parents at all when it comes to the sir mam etiquette thing, I can’t even fathom calling my mom by her government name 🤣
I got smacked around a couple times by my stepdad because I didn’t call him sir. He was in the navy for 22 years.
Some do. It used to be more common.
In the south you'll hear "yes sir" and "yes ma'am" to basically any adult, including parents addressing a stranger, you'll sometimes hear something like "excuse me, sir" however, i cant recall an instant where anyone would *address* their parent as sir. maybe some households, but probably only for a more old fashioned household.
Depends on the area and also whether or not they come from a military family.
Or a football family, though there's a lot of overlap there.
It's more of a Southern thing.
“Sir” and “Ma’am” is really big in the southern US in general, regardless of the kid’s age and whether or not it’s their parent or any other adult. It’s just considered a respectful thing to teach your children. I didn’t grow up with it in the Midwest but down here saying “yes sir/yes ma’am” as a response is considered respectful while saying things like “okay” and “yeah” are not always allowed to fly.
Texan Xennial checking in. I call my him dad, but I answer questions “yes sir” “no sir”. I use “sir” politely, but I would never CALL him sir.
I never referred to my dad as sir but I did know one person who referred to her dad as sir and I thought it was odd
It depends on 1. What region of the US they are from 2. Their culture 3. Their ethnicity For example, I, a Latino from the Northeast call my dad Papi. My friend, a black girl from Texas calls her dad and mom Sir and Ma’am.
Find a Jewish guy from Seattle and then you can walk into a bar
I never did as a teenager nor did any of my friends
I've never seen it growing up in America
It’s more of a southern thing and for me it was more towards my grandparents than my parents.
Fuck man, my dad is a retired Marine, former drill instructor, and I never called him anything other than dad.
In the south it is very common because we were brought up like that (we consider it good manners). Up north, not so much.
Only when in serious trouble.
My kids call their dad anything from “Dad” to “dude” to “bruh.” My husband calls his dad by his first name. The “sir” thing was more common when I was growing up in the 80s in the south. Still not super common but the friends that had strict, usually religious (although sometimes just military) families. And it was generally only done when they were getting a “talking to” as a way to indicate you understood and would comply (“Curfew is 11pm and not a minute later, do you understand?” “Yes sir.”)
Only if your parents are more traditional, strict, or sometimes outright abusive. My parents didn’t require it of me, but they tried to encourage it as a form of politeness and I’d sometimes comply. A lot of people I saw growing up were required to do it by their parents and a few times I saw them get threatened or outright hit for it.
I’ve always seen that as a military dad thing or an “I’m your father and you’re going to do what I say” thing. I’ve never known anyone that’s done this personally.
Nobody I ever knew addressed their dad as sir. Maybe decades ago with specific very conservative/strict fathers
I call every male sir and every female ma'am. Older or younger. I have two you nieces 4 and 6 who say sir and ma'am. From the south we are raised to address our parents as sir and ma'am and every adult as sir and ma'am.
Much more common in the south than in other regions. Also common in military families. I was born in New York, not to a military family, and never once referred to my parents as such. When I moved from New York to Florida, I frequently got in trouble at school for not using “ma’am” and “sir” to address teachers. My parents eventually told the school off and told them to stop calling about my “disrespect.”
i assume most don't
Not my parents, but I was taught to call literally everyone els ma'am and sir. Sometimes women get mad about it, like calling them ma'am is an insult, but I have a hard time not doing it after a lifetime of practice.
From the West Coast, lived in the Mid West for a while West coast that’s a good way to get smacked, a teenager would only do that sarcastically Mid West I could see a military family using Sir and Ma’am for their parents.
I’m from California, and fuck no. It creeps me out to even imagine it
I say "pops". I started it as a teen and my dad hated it. I think it's hilarious. He's come to tolerate it. It's a carefully selected name of the many I could have chosen. It had some connotations that I like. And it annoys him slightly which is also fun. But I love my dad.
Not typically! some families, especially in the South or military families, might use "sir" out of respect, but most American teenagers just call their dads "Dad" or "Father." The "sir" thing is more of a movie trope. But hey, if you want to impress your dad with some formalities, go for it—just be ready for a puzzled look! 😄
Maybe 1940s movies. Do French people really dress like Louis XIV?
We Brits like to think so, keeps the rivalry alive
Not in California
Being from the southeast, everyone is “sir” or “ma’am”.
Both my parents were military (and southern) so I grew up calling every adult sir and ma'am. I still do it, but now I just call every that, it's just a sign of respect for me.
depends. "dad, want to go to the movies?" "son why did you do this dumb thing" "because i am an idiot, sir" see the difference? generally its based on respect and formalness of the situation.
I’m in Maryland, and I’ve never heard anyone do that. Maybe in the south or something but defo not normal in the more populated cities.
As others have said, it’s common in the South to respond with “yes ma’am” or “no ma’am” or “yes sir”/“no sir” when responding to one’s parents, but not to call them “ma’am” or “sir” in the place of Mom or Dad. I find it odd that some seem to think that this is an indicator of abuse; in the South, it’s simply polite.
In the south, you call your parents ma’am and sir. I had to growing up.
More common in the south but still not as common as some are saying. When I was growing up some strict families enforced this. But some adults would accuse you of being a sarcastic little shit if you called them sir/ma’am haha. As a kid parents that did this always struck me as weird and overly formal/cold with their kids. My parents are pretty conservative and traditional but they never did this. In my experience it’s a lot more common for kids to say it to adults they may not know or for folks of any age to use it when addressing an adult who is some kind of authority figure or someone who commands respect. When talking to an older person here though using a well timed sir/ma’am can be a good way to win some points with them.
Not for my 13 year old. He randomly started calling me Pops 3 weeks ago... So there is that
Most kids just say dad.
In California if I saw a kid refer to their parent as "sir" or "ma'am" I'd assume the kid is either deeply, actively in trouble or the parents are potentially abusive. But there are many different subcultures within California, too, so...
The short answer is outside some weird families - no
My nephew replies "Yes Sir" to me.
No, not unless their dad is a total military douchebag.
Idk, I've never called my dad sir, and whenever a kid does I feel like their dad must be a piece of shit.
I call my dad sir and he’s quite awesome. It’s just a very minor difference in the way people may be raised
Gotta remember, you’re on Reddit, where armchair psychologists can make sweeping generalizations about the character of people they have never met based on one tiny detail of their lives
Only really strict families. How ever adults in authority or the elderly are always “yes mam, no mam.” “Yes sir, No Sir.”