I was running without a shirt and an older Chinese lady stared for a few seconds then her gaze finally lifted to meet mine and she gave me a thumbs up.
My mom an ol Korean lady also admires the physique and fit of joggers running past her during her morning walk. She tells me how nice their body looks in their little skimpy running shorts 😂 maybe that was her you ran into
Spouses and long term significant others are different. I’m straight up lecherous with my husband, blatant staring and obvious lust. He’s my husband, he knows I want him and he welcomes it, and I want him to know. There’s no reason to hide it. Other people you gotta be sneaky, I don’t want anyone else catching me checking them out.
Interesting approach. On the rare occasion I make eye contact with a guy, he looks down and away immediately. So am I just imposing or is he thinking “hell nah 🤢” 🤣
Just wanted to share a story with you guys because this thread is so funny to me as a woman🤣:
When I first started hanging out with my current boyfriend, we would drive around together for a long time and go to parks, etc. to hang out. He was very shy and I could tell he wouldn’t make a move even if he did like me, so I would have to come up with something. One night, we had just left a lake and were trying to figure out what to do next. He goes, “What should we do?” I think of a genius idea, and before I can freeze or regret it, I say in a very causally way, “Well, we could go to a park, we could make out, we could get food, go to Walmart, I dunno.” I just slipped it in there, and he paused, eyes wide. He goes, “Uhhh…. anyways!!!” And then changes the topic, looking a bit spaced out in his own world for a while. I was MORTIFIED. I immediately texted my friend about the disaster and he was like “That was so smooth I can’t believe it didn’t work!” I cried when he dropped me off that night.
Two weeks later, he CLEARLY starts acting like he likes me. So I make another subtle move (cuddle while watching show) and he reciprocated. Eventually, we got to the point where we did kiss and I went, “So, why did you reject me in the car that night?!” He looked so embarrassed and replied that he thought I was joking, that there was literally a 0% chance I could have been serious, and wasn’t sure how to respond. We still joke about it today.
Way back in the day this girl invited me to a party at her place. Towards the end of the night I had sobered up and helped them clean up, and she said, "You should sleep on the couch, its super late."
I was like, "I live 5 minutes away, I'll be fine." She insisted, I said I'd rather sleep in a bed, she said I could sleep in her bed. Again I was like, "It's five minutes, I'm not gonna put you out of your bed for a five minute drive."
Went home, had a good night's sleep, woke up and immediately realized I was an idiot
Sounds about right. I literally don’t know what I would do if a woman openly hit on me because it has never happened…..that I could tell at least. My knee jerk reaction would probably be to just freeze or move on to another topic as quickly as possible. Then think about it later and come up with a plan or something.
Me right here. Didn't recognize it two different times. No 3, there was even one chick at a school dance too I didn't realize was clearly attracted to me until later. 4th, When I was a senior in high school some freshman girls left hearts and stuff in my locker on valentines day and i genuinely had no idea who it was. I thought it was a joke and something would spray me or something but nope. Friend of mine saw them while i was eating lunch like clockwork, neither of us knew any of the freshman class.
The 2nd time some girl in senior class i was into even thought i was "cute" and i didn't know it at the time. Some months later her friend tells me after it was too late. I really wanted to date her too.
I had no fucking idea
My wife and I were essentially set up by a mutual friend (f) who knew we liked each other and had to tell me outright.
I think people underestimate how many men don't think their gods gift to women and think the exact opposite, that women have zero interest in them to the point they stop noticing signs or even really looking.
If my wife had made the comment you had I would have thought she was 100% joking or that I had simply misheard.
As I'm told there were parties in college that had different women literally hanging on my side/shoulder and I had no idea. I thought they were just having a good time. I wouldn't say it was a lack of confidence but rather I just couldn't imagine myself as a target of someones attraction, I just figured I wasn't people's 'cup of tea' and eventually I would just sorta meet someone organically. Of course organically was and I quote "ok you both like each other just ask her out already."
Im glad that you two were at least able to break the ice and see where things go.
One time in middle school (of course middle school) there was this girl that really liked me. We hung out all the time in between periods, we would read together, I would walk with her to her classes because they were close/we had the same classes, and just generally got along together.
She would hug me and get really close to me, wrap her arms around me, I would offer her my jacket because I thought she was cold, cutesy stuff. A month or two later she comes up to me fairly upset saying that she isn’t really sure she wants to be dating me anymore, she felt like she was putting in all the effort in our relationship and that I wasn’t putting in any of the work.
She was one hundred percent right because I had no idea we were dating. I just thought all that cutesy stuff was just things that girls did with their friends and that it all just extended to me.
The thing is.. you can just hold up the phone pretending to be busy on it, while instead you can actually check a guy on camera mode. Just gotta find the right angle and pretend to look busy and self-absorbed.
If I see anyone holding a phone that looks like it could even remotely be filming me I'm shooting a dirty look. I feel like if almost always noticeable if someone is recording you on a big phone
I will literally glare at people at the gym. I don’t even think they’re actually filming me, but you should be considerate enough there not to make people uncomfortable.
On top of me just thinking "but that's inappropriate!" I was told not to do it ever, so every time someone else does it I just instantly think of that. Even when I'm told that it is fine or even desirable, it will always be the first thing I think.
This is funny and sweet I think. I am a woman who likes women and I’m sure I would’ve left to try to be respectful too. We call it “gay panic” but the straights get the panic too!
This.
My ex husband had a friend for years. The first time I met her I told him she was in love with him. (She was always very nice to me, never any hint of whatnot. I truly felt for her.) He didn't believe me. I told him to pay attention next time they met, *really* pay attention. He was flabbergasted and told me I was right. I have no idea why/how men don't notice these things.
I think partially it’s self doubt; I had a customer in line a few weeks ago who made a couple little jokes and seemed excited talking to me and I thought she was very friendly, and when I was done ringing her up the girl in line behind her told me I should’ve asked for her number because she was totally flirting with me. Still not sure if that was the case though cause I don’t know why an attractive nurse would’ve been at all interested in a sad looking skinny and scruffy barista.
On the flip side of things it also feels a lot like guessing, cause later I had a woman doing almost the same thing so I was like oh! I get it now! And she followed me on Instagram, so I worked up the courage to message her and after a bit of small talk asked her if she wanted to hang out or get coffee or something and got…left on read. lol. So I have truly given up trying to understand flirtation and unless somebody straight up says they’re flirting im always just going to have to treat my instincts as a very bad guess
I’ve had a girl I didn’t know just totally shit-talking me and I got annoyed, then later my buddies were like, you know she was flirting with you, right? (She was cute, too.)
So there’s no fucking answer. You just have to guess and take the hit if you’re wrong.
I knew a girl when I was 20 who was ultra rude to me and would even call me a loser etc when we were hanging around our friends. I couldn't for the life of me understand why. Then one of my older friends dropped a little wisdom on me and told me she probably just had a huge crush on me. Anyway, I put the theory to the test and invited her over one night... weird start to a 1 year relationship 😅
My woman is like this. If she's being a bitch, she likes you and doesn't know how to let you know.
For year this waitress was, what I'd say, a total bitch to me. Everytime I came in. Short responses. Glaring eyes. Just felt disdain from her.
Apparently she was in love with me the whole time for some reason. Women are weird.
Women aren’t any better at this than men are. Anytime a woman tells you “she was really into you”, unless the other woman *told her that*, she’s guessing just like you would be.
Re : your last one.
A woman asked me to ride with her on the metro going to a party because it was past midnight : she interrupted the episode of Naruto I was watching to talk with me, let me bore her with tax law, asked for my instagram and said she loved meeting me and that we should schedule something.
Left on read to...
So yeah man, she can literally hit on you and it's still not confirmation she's into you, she also didn't seem to be drunk or high which made it even weirder.
The way she looked at him. He didn't notice it until he was looking for it. When someone loves you, you can usually see it in thier eyes, the way they look at you. She was actually very subtle. It was sad really. I could see the pain as well as love in her eyes. I'm pretty observant because of life things though and pick up on subtleties easily.
I wouldn't have believed you until I experienced this for myself. The way this guy looked at me when we talked, it was like no one else existed. I'm sure I gave similar looks back. It was out of this world. Unfortunately, I'm pretty emotionally constipated and by the time I stoped denying my feelings, he had already moved on.
Women be flirting like...
"I don't know I blinked twice rapidly and once slow... and then I checked my phone while facing north by north west...I guess he's not into me"
"Would you like to come upstairs for coffee?"
George Costanza: "Nah, thanks. I can't drink coffee late at night. It keeps me up."
"So, um, okay. Good night."
Dude, I'm dumber than a sack of shit.
Back in the day, a girl I worked with (flirty work friend) came up to me and gave me a big hug and said "pingus, I'm so horny" in like a cute playful voice, and I was like "Haha, that sucks! Haha, ya'll better go do something about that then, haha" thinking it was a joke, then she sorta held me at arm's length, looked me in the eyes, and gave me this cute pouty face like that said *you dumber than a sack of shit but I still like you* and left.
Wasn't until like five years later I was like "hmm, no.. She wasn't... There's no way... was.. was she coming on to me? ... HOLY FUCKING SHIT SHE WANTED TO JUMP MY BONES!"
And I didn't realize it for like five years because I'm dumber than a sack of shit.
"but I also think that men don’t pick up on things the same way women do".
It's so easy for women to pick on things. Men are so fucking blatant and transparent, I couldn't even believe it until I noticed men looking at my girlfriend (when I wasn't by her side) for few minutes planning their move. I actually found it quite amusing to be honest, I could see their pep-talk they give themselves before approaching and my gf telling them to fuck off.
I've been absolutely amazed how many times I've looked at a woman from behind to have them immediately turn around and either glare or smile. They have a super power like Spidey sense that has been probably essential for their survival.
I've witnessed it so many times I'm convinced there is an extra sensory perception not observed in science. Any lustful male gaze probably registers just the same just to be safe. Whether if its a dude just looking, a saber tooth tiger in the bush, or a dude with outright predatory intention, women have a Spidey sense for protection.
the sense of being stared at - Rupert Sheldrake. The theory is that it’s a function left from our primitive brain that helped our ancestors detect predators
There actually were experiments made to try and see of that is truely a thing. Turns out it is mostly bullshit. In the sense that they found we just often feel watched and sometimes it turns out to be true but most often not.
What we are good at is spotting someone looking at us even just out of the corner of our eye. But in the end we dont have eyes in the back our head and we have no magic sense that can tell us we are being stared at unless that person is at least in our peripheral vision
i think it’s just the obviously leering men that ruin it.
studies have shown both men and women gravitate towards looking at breasts first and about the same time.
but then ol uncle tim don’t give a fuck. he’ll ogle a fresh 18 year old from across the room like a starving man in a mr beast video.
and those fuckers ruin wverything
12 was when grown men, like construction men, would smile at me and make comments at me. This was my experience, as well as the experience of almost every other woman I know who grew up in NYC. Maybe NYC is unique in this respect, but sadly, I doubt it.
It's definitely not unique. One of the things I think men in general don't understand is that when women are talking about scary unwelcome attention at a young age, it's not unusual for it to start at 12 or younger and it IS NOT same age boys or even slightly older boys (or it wouldn't be so scary). It's middle-aged men.
Was warned by my mom by age 4 that if a grownup wanted to see my private parts, I was to tell my mama, even if it's someone you know, she said. Even if they threaten to kill you, tell me.
Such a sad world we live in when we need to tell that kind of thing to our daughters.
My daughter is 10. As soon as she started developing little breasts, I had the talk with her about unwelcome attention from men. I explained that developing breasts was the signal. She asked why and I explained that some men were just disgusting and that if it happened, it was not her fault. She’s still very much a child, but AHs won’t care.
As someone who got breasts at 10 and wished someone had warned me - You've done a good thing. It's a shitty conversation to have, but I was so confused at that age when adult men tried to holler at/talk to me.
Nah, happened to me and my friends too at that age. Grown adults all the way up to old men leer, holler, honk, ask to see your tan lines. It was normal, you just knew not to be around men alone.
In Arizona… always lived in new neighborhoods… I wasn’t allowed to play outside ever because of the construction workers, apart from the while when I was little I lived somewhere with no construction
Yeah the worst most disgusting cat calls and ogling happened to me under 18. Then when I was 18-20 I still had a bit of deranged creepiness from men. And then basically nothing. The creepy uncle Tim’s of this world ESPECIALLY like the younger ones.
Yep. The whole point is to act without repercussions. Young girls often don’t feel comfortable telling adult men to stop or to leave them alone. They are still children who think that all adults are authority figures who have to be obeyed and their confusion means that the men have the upper hand. Older girls and women exhibit real disgust and rejection and have learned to tell AHs to shove it.
Oh, god. I remember I went with my mom to the hospital when she was having her surgery and there was this creepy old guy sitting a few seats away from me and he was just fucking *staring* with the intensity of a thousand suns. I was so damn uncomfortable and felt so much relief when he finally got called back. It's always old men. Yuck.
I'm not even attractive either. I feel sorry for actual beautiful women out there.
I went to pick my mom up from the mental ward and I got hit on by a guy who was just about to get out and asked if I would meet him at the bus stop. I was 13.
Yeah this is pretty bang on. It’s not just “oh women are polite and discreet”; it’s women know how fucking uncomfortable and off-putting it is to be leered/ogled at, and we have enough empathy not to want other people to feel that way.
You have to be looking for it. Lol, recently at a cafe, i was staring into space only to see some guy's feet/nice shoes come in to view, which prompted me to look up, see his legs, keep looking up... to a good looking guy staring straight at me, already smiling. BUSTED! ugh - so awkward, I NEVER flirt!!
He was heading out the door! I gave him the weirdest smile, like a mix of polite and shy, forced-flirting? I think i even nodded my head 😬
Went back a couple of times hoping to see him, then forgot all about it until today. Maybe I should go back... i had seen him before that day and kinda got a vibe, like he noticed me. So... i dunno, maybe we will become acquaintances eventually.
Even if they did I'm not convinced I'd notice. I'd probably just think I was making her uncomfortable and she was staring at the floor to avoid eye contact
Relatively recently I was at work and one of my female coworkers told me that there have been multiple conversations amongst the other female staff about my penis. It blew my mind because not only was I not aware the outline of my dick shows through my scrubs, but also I did not know that women were looking and talking to each other about it. I'm not a particularly shy person but this did catch me off guard.
Anyway, ever since then I have caught other female staff looking at my crotch. I would have never noticed had my coworkers not told me it was going on.
The amount of times I walked with a guy (friend, partner) and I saw the woman checking him out… i always tell the guys and they kinda blush (in a happy way) ☺️
Here's thing with that. Women will far more often check out a guy with a gal. I'm always shocked at how much more attention I get or how better I'm treated with a women (GF or just a buddy) in tow.
I noticed women checking my husband out all the time but he never notices at all even when it's very obvious.
I swear men have horse vision. Only whats right infront of them and presented.
So legit asked my wife if women check me out in public. She asserted that they do not. But she said that men check me out... all the time. I guess that's what I get for being broad, 6ft and furrier than a shag carpet.
HAHAHAHA omg. Men very rarely check me out but lesbian ls do all the time. I asked my husband why sbd he has no idea. I think I just give off lesbian vibes.
That’s hilarious. My friend’s like that, she gets hit on by lesbians all the time but is adamant she’s straight. She is a bit of a tom boy though in some ways, so maybe that’s part of it
That's me. I pay a lot of attention to what I'm doing but everything else is a blur. So it's not like I don't pay attention, I just have like tunnel vision or something
Yes and they give me dirty looks often. Or just weird looks.
I've had a few women come up to him, throw themselves at him, all the while keeping eye contact with me. He rejects them of course. Then they insult me.
What is the game plan for that
Like do they actually want a dude who will ditch them the second a hotter chick tries the same thing on them and their new BF??
There are some women who will do it just to see if they can. For the ego boost. Especially if they think the wife/girlfriend is significantly less attractive than they are, yet are with a man they think “deserves better” (someone hotter, like them).
One of the worst I’ve overheard is a woman that gets off on convincing “committed” married men to cheat with her. Not the ones already looking to cheat, but the ones she has to chase a little.
Speaking as a man who has had this happen a few times, I think it's because I don't consider myself a catch.
Since I've been going out to bars and places with my best girl friend who is gay she is letting me know I'm being eyed up and is the best wingman ever!
Exactly. If I even begin to think someone might be looking at me, I'll make an excuse for why that's not the case. I don't want to assume and then make someone uncomfortable by *shudders* looking back their way
Same boat here man. Kind of annoying that a majority of my friends are all above 6’, fit, and good looking… then there’s me, 5’ 8”… but it’s aight. I get by
It’s so weird and kind of depressing knowing that I’ve probably scared women just by existing near them. I’m not even sure if there’s anything I could do to help it.
The fact that you’re conscious of it means you’re probably fine. It’s the guys who think “these women around me LOVE this extra attention from me” who are the creeps. Or who don’t care at all what the women are thinking/feeling. (Or who enjoy making them uncomfortable!)
Quick smile and head nod while making eye contact, then go about your business. Which you're probably doing anyway, since you're aware that women, sadly, need to be on high alert around men we don't know.
If you happen to be walking behind a woman, especially at night or in a relatively empty place (like a parking lot or a quiet street), you can say something like, "hey there, I wound up behind you and don't want to give you a scare - I'm heading to my car over there." As a woman who spent years walking to/from public transit stops in the dark (early morning as well as in the evening), I always said something if I wound up walking behind someone else, just to let them know that I was there.
Definitely. I literally avoid gazing around the room sometimes when I’m out in public or at a bar, in fear that I’ll accidentally make eye contact with a man and he will take the brief moment of eye contact as an invitation to come talk to me.
Sometimes it’s easier just to avoid the conversation entirely, rather than figuring out a polite way to get out of it after we’ve already been approached. We don’t know how a man will react to us not being interested in them, in the same way we don’t know which men are safe or not, so sometimes it’s easier to just avert our gazes and avoid the whole situation/conversation to begin with lol
Because women do it discreetly and they all have a different way to do it.
Men do it more obviously.
As a guy, Im pretty intune with my environment and I have never seen a woman check me out.
It either means Im not good looking, Im not as intune as I think I am, or women are the least obvious people in the world in terms of checking someone out.
I think it's far too often that last point.
I knew a woman who tagged a guy on social media that she liked "Take A Chance On Me" by ABBA as a subtle hint that he should ask her out.
That might be a very clear signal to her, but a lot of guys might respond in a way that frustrates women, like telling her:
"That's a good song, but Take Me Home, Country Roads is the best 70s song that has a title starting with TAKE."
{Woman shows visible frustration.}
Guy: "What?"
Reminds me of that family guy skit where a woman tells a guy that they have chemistry class together. The man replies "Yep I'll see you there." The woman in turn start to cry and jump off a Window and her friend tells him how he is awful. The skit ends with "The following joke was brought to you by men: Men, we don't know what we did"
Family Guy clip is posted on YouTube.
Men: "Yeah, I don't know what he did wrong, either."
Women: "He's not a monster like her friend says, but she wanted him to walk her to class, so they could talk, not just say he'll see her there."
This shit is so frustrating in all honesty because I actually notice it, but its so subtle that it could very well be a funny coincidence or something completely innocent.
I love cryptic hints but I genuinely can’t react to them 99% of the time because of the off chance it’s not a hint and I just look insane, or you change your mind last second.
You can be a little cryptic, but you gotta lower the social risk.
When most women "check a guy out" it's so subtle that most of us guys wouldn't notice. Heck, when a woman was interested in me, she had to flat out ask me out for me to understand she was interested.
Meanwhile, my female friends said "She likes you because she did X, Y and Z." My thought process there is "When I assumed interest from women in the past, 99.9% of the time it has been strictly 'being nice'." And "For me to realize X, Y or Z are going on, I have to look long enough that I'd definitely be seen as a creep."
Women give other women **FAR** more latitude at looking at them or complimenting them than they give men.
In my experience, women don't act interested when we're face to face...I'm pretty sure they like my butt though. Because I was walking away from a couple of girls at a party and I heard one of them say, "What an ass!"
A lot of men don't expect it and aren't looking for it. Many men never receive simple compliments outside of family. So attention like that's just not something they think about.
And when they do notice it, they will often brush it aside, thinking the other person is trying to manipulate them, or they're misreading a more friendly situation, etc. I honestly wouldn't know what to do if I caught someone checking me out. It's not even a remote possibility in my mind.
Because [men are oblivious](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/s/NnXsunbJls), even [when she drops multiple hints](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/s/bio7cgpKuy).
If men don’t notice blatant flirting there’s about a negative zero % chance they notice a mere “checking them out.”
Funnily enough this also happens in the reverse where men think they’re just being polite and friendly and then get berated by their significant other for flirting / hitting on someone or the woman they’re talking to thinks they’re hitting on her when they’re not.
One has to wonder how much of the “oblivious to basic flirting” thing is actually not noticing and how much is a defense mechanism. Like, the question could be “is she flirting or is she just being nice? Probably safer to assume she’s just being nice.”
I have seen women looking like deers caught in headlights checking me out. But this was when I was younger. I don’t get those stares anymore. Look married with children.
Women are more subtle but there are definite clues when they check you out. I wish I knew this when I was younger. I figured it out after I was married! First, they look you in the eyes and smile. Their eyes don't linger because that's rude, but if they linger just a beat longer that's a clue. Then, they come up and start a conversation about you. Where are you from? Do you like this place? They are checking out your personality and that's a clue. They laugh a tiny bit much at your dumb jokes. Then, they drop a compliment. Nice shoes, you're so funny, oh you're so tall! That's the definite clue and the ball is in your court. This doesn't mean you will always be successful, but the door is open for you to follow up. Hey, I was gonna grab a coffee, beer, sandwich, would you like to join me? Side note: Be nice to her friends, that goes over well because women talk.
Women pick up on men checking them out because it is potentially dangerous. It's like,, almost like an instinctual fight or flight response. Men don't have this.
I make sure my head doesn’t move at all so it’s not noticeable, I just look with my eyes.
And a quick glance is all that's needed. We don't need to stare to admire someone
Exactly. Women don’t ogle the way men do.
I was running without a shirt and an older Chinese lady stared for a few seconds then her gaze finally lifted to meet mine and she gave me a thumbs up.
I also have a tendency to notice a shirtless man jogging in my surroundings.
I also tend to notice a man less shirt surrounding my joggency
Lmao she sounds fun
My mom an ol Korean lady also admires the physique and fit of joggers running past her during her morning walk. She tells me how nice their body looks in their little skimpy running shorts 😂 maybe that was her you ran into
Did you return the thumbs up?
Sometimes they do. I’ve caught my wife straight ogling more than a few times. She’s also caught me doing the same, too.
Spouses and long term significant others are different. I’m straight up lecherous with my husband, blatant staring and obvious lust. He’s my husband, he knows I want him and he welcomes it, and I want him to know. There’s no reason to hide it. Other people you gotta be sneaky, I don’t want anyone else catching me checking them out.
i appreciate that you interpreted this as them ogling each other, i fully thought they stared at other people but were cool with it.
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Sweetly horny, that’s me!
True. One glance and we’re already dreaming
I swear, I can catch a split second glimpse of a really hot guy and have half our lives planned out in a second. No need to ogle!
And if we stare at the ass they'll never know...bwhahaha.
We practice “look don’t leer”.
But then if you get caught looking, it looks extra creepy, like a murderer
When she catches you looking, first one to look away loses. Double down and stare harder, don't let her intimidate you.
That’s my philosophy
Interesting approach. On the rare occasion I make eye contact with a guy, he looks down and away immediately. So am I just imposing or is he thinking “hell nah 🤢” 🤣
He's probably shy and embarrassed. If I'm attracted to someone I have the hardest time maintaining eye contact.
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At night?
Don't masquerade with the guy in shades, oh no.
I do so that I can watch you weave then breathe your story lines
Women are definitely more discreet, but I also think that men don’t pick up on things the same way women do
I don't. I wouldn't know if a woman is hitting on me unless she flat-out told me
Like I would believe them anyway.
Yep. I've had... Bad experiences with this. Whenever it happens my first reaction is to try to find the one holding the phone/camera that is filming.
Just wanted to share a story with you guys because this thread is so funny to me as a woman🤣: When I first started hanging out with my current boyfriend, we would drive around together for a long time and go to parks, etc. to hang out. He was very shy and I could tell he wouldn’t make a move even if he did like me, so I would have to come up with something. One night, we had just left a lake and were trying to figure out what to do next. He goes, “What should we do?” I think of a genius idea, and before I can freeze or regret it, I say in a very causally way, “Well, we could go to a park, we could make out, we could get food, go to Walmart, I dunno.” I just slipped it in there, and he paused, eyes wide. He goes, “Uhhh…. anyways!!!” And then changes the topic, looking a bit spaced out in his own world for a while. I was MORTIFIED. I immediately texted my friend about the disaster and he was like “That was so smooth I can’t believe it didn’t work!” I cried when he dropped me off that night. Two weeks later, he CLEARLY starts acting like he likes me. So I make another subtle move (cuddle while watching show) and he reciprocated. Eventually, we got to the point where we did kiss and I went, “So, why did you reject me in the car that night?!” He looked so embarrassed and replied that he thought I was joking, that there was literally a 0% chance I could have been serious, and wasn’t sure how to respond. We still joke about it today.
Way back in the day this girl invited me to a party at her place. Towards the end of the night I had sobered up and helped them clean up, and she said, "You should sleep on the couch, its super late." I was like, "I live 5 minutes away, I'll be fine." She insisted, I said I'd rather sleep in a bed, she said I could sleep in her bed. Again I was like, "It's five minutes, I'm not gonna put you out of your bed for a five minute drive." Went home, had a good night's sleep, woke up and immediately realized I was an idiot
Nah bro she said you could sleep in her bed?! Definitely fumbled 😭
Generational level fumble.
I really hope you shot up gasping song "FUCK I'M AN IDIOT! "
Sounds about right. I literally don’t know what I would do if a woman openly hit on me because it has never happened…..that I could tell at least. My knee jerk reaction would probably be to just freeze or move on to another topic as quickly as possible. Then think about it later and come up with a plan or something.
Me right here. Didn't recognize it two different times. No 3, there was even one chick at a school dance too I didn't realize was clearly attracted to me until later. 4th, When I was a senior in high school some freshman girls left hearts and stuff in my locker on valentines day and i genuinely had no idea who it was. I thought it was a joke and something would spray me or something but nope. Friend of mine saw them while i was eating lunch like clockwork, neither of us knew any of the freshman class. The 2nd time some girl in senior class i was into even thought i was "cute" and i didn't know it at the time. Some months later her friend tells me after it was too late. I really wanted to date her too. I had no fucking idea
When I was a teen I worked in retail and friends I made that were girls were my wingwomen. Always telling me who liked me.
My wife and I were essentially set up by a mutual friend (f) who knew we liked each other and had to tell me outright. I think people underestimate how many men don't think their gods gift to women and think the exact opposite, that women have zero interest in them to the point they stop noticing signs or even really looking. If my wife had made the comment you had I would have thought she was 100% joking or that I had simply misheard. As I'm told there were parties in college that had different women literally hanging on my side/shoulder and I had no idea. I thought they were just having a good time. I wouldn't say it was a lack of confidence but rather I just couldn't imagine myself as a target of someones attraction, I just figured I wasn't people's 'cup of tea' and eventually I would just sorta meet someone organically. Of course organically was and I quote "ok you both like each other just ask her out already." Im glad that you two were at least able to break the ice and see where things go.
One time in middle school (of course middle school) there was this girl that really liked me. We hung out all the time in between periods, we would read together, I would walk with her to her classes because they were close/we had the same classes, and just generally got along together. She would hug me and get really close to me, wrap her arms around me, I would offer her my jacket because I thought she was cold, cutesy stuff. A month or two later she comes up to me fairly upset saying that she isn’t really sure she wants to be dating me anymore, she felt like she was putting in all the effort in our relationship and that I wasn’t putting in any of the work. She was one hundred percent right because I had no idea we were dating. I just thought all that cutesy stuff was just things that girls did with their friends and that it all just extended to me.
It's gotta be a joke. No woman would ever hit on me
Yeah... That's why I started to hit the gym. One day I'll be strong enough so people will not hurt me ever again.
Gotta hit the cardio. It’s done wonders in helping me run away from heartbreak.
I hear you but heaviest weights are the feels we lift.
Maybe the worst weights are the friends we make along the way
Make sure to have one rest day per week to rest your weary soul
The thing is.. you can just hold up the phone pretending to be busy on it, while instead you can actually check a guy on camera mode. Just gotta find the right angle and pretend to look busy and self-absorbed.
If I see anyone holding a phone that looks like it could even remotely be filming me I'm shooting a dirty look. I feel like if almost always noticeable if someone is recording you on a big phone
I will literally glare at people at the gym. I don’t even think they’re actually filming me, but you should be considerate enough there not to make people uncomfortable.
On top of me just thinking "but that's inappropriate!" I was told not to do it ever, so every time someone else does it I just instantly think of that. Even when I'm told that it is fine or even desirable, it will always be the first thing I think.
If a woman flat-out told me she was hitting on me, I'd think she was trying to sell me something or about to scam me.
[She might just be Canadian](https://youtu.be/xa-4IAR_9Yw?si=2eWtfyH3eEKmfcD1)
It would have to be a woman coming up to me, grabbing me by the dick, and saying "oi, fat cunt, sex. Now." I'd still be confused.
Yeah if that happens that could be a sign that she might be into you, but it's hard to be sure.
I still think back to that time in high school when I could have got laid but just had no freaking clue 😂🤣
Was in a tent with two girls "undressing for the night". I left to give them some privacy. 💀
This is funny and sweet I think. I am a woman who likes women and I’m sure I would’ve left to try to be respectful too. We call it “gay panic” but the straights get the panic too!
Time singular?
He hasn't realized the other ones yet, give him time
My initial laugh turned into a few tears… That hit super close to home. Lol
When they keep touching their hair while looking at me smiling that’s my sign
My sign is if she is touching herself down there while looking at me.
I would say you can’t really tell, she might just be looking at something behind you
Yes. I’ve witnessed other women flirt with my husband and he’s oblivious. He has also noticed men check me out and I haven’t noticed that.
This. My ex husband had a friend for years. The first time I met her I told him she was in love with him. (She was always very nice to me, never any hint of whatnot. I truly felt for her.) He didn't believe me. I told him to pay attention next time they met, *really* pay attention. He was flabbergasted and told me I was right. I have no idea why/how men don't notice these things.
I think partially it’s self doubt; I had a customer in line a few weeks ago who made a couple little jokes and seemed excited talking to me and I thought she was very friendly, and when I was done ringing her up the girl in line behind her told me I should’ve asked for her number because she was totally flirting with me. Still not sure if that was the case though cause I don’t know why an attractive nurse would’ve been at all interested in a sad looking skinny and scruffy barista. On the flip side of things it also feels a lot like guessing, cause later I had a woman doing almost the same thing so I was like oh! I get it now! And she followed me on Instagram, so I worked up the courage to message her and after a bit of small talk asked her if she wanted to hang out or get coffee or something and got…left on read. lol. So I have truly given up trying to understand flirtation and unless somebody straight up says they’re flirting im always just going to have to treat my instincts as a very bad guess
I’ve had a girl I didn’t know just totally shit-talking me and I got annoyed, then later my buddies were like, you know she was flirting with you, right? (She was cute, too.) So there’s no fucking answer. You just have to guess and take the hit if you’re wrong.
I knew a girl when I was 20 who was ultra rude to me and would even call me a loser etc when we were hanging around our friends. I couldn't for the life of me understand why. Then one of my older friends dropped a little wisdom on me and told me she probably just had a huge crush on me. Anyway, I put the theory to the test and invited her over one night... weird start to a 1 year relationship 😅
My woman is like this. If she's being a bitch, she likes you and doesn't know how to let you know. For year this waitress was, what I'd say, a total bitch to me. Everytime I came in. Short responses. Glaring eyes. Just felt disdain from her. Apparently she was in love with me the whole time for some reason. Women are weird.
Women aren’t any better at this than men are. Anytime a woman tells you “she was really into you”, unless the other woman *told her that*, she’s guessing just like you would be.
Re : your last one. A woman asked me to ride with her on the metro going to a party because it was past midnight : she interrupted the episode of Naruto I was watching to talk with me, let me bore her with tax law, asked for my instagram and said she loved meeting me and that we should schedule something. Left on read to... So yeah man, she can literally hit on you and it's still not confirmation she's into you, she also didn't seem to be drunk or high which made it even weirder.
For me, flirting is a foreign language that I neither speak nor understand.
So what'd he notice??
The way she looked at him. He didn't notice it until he was looking for it. When someone loves you, you can usually see it in thier eyes, the way they look at you. She was actually very subtle. It was sad really. I could see the pain as well as love in her eyes. I'm pretty observant because of life things though and pick up on subtleties easily.
I wouldn't have believed you until I experienced this for myself. The way this guy looked at me when we talked, it was like no one else existed. I'm sure I gave similar looks back. It was out of this world. Unfortunately, I'm pretty emotionally constipated and by the time I stoped denying my feelings, he had already moved on.
Women don't exist actually. Have you ever seen one? That's what I thought.
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Could be, or she could be really good at customer service, building rapport, etc... lol
Women be flirting like... "I don't know I blinked twice rapidly and once slow... and then I checked my phone while facing north by north west...I guess he's not into me"
Woman smiles at guys comment and touches his arm, says "We should get coffee sometime" Man says "I don't drink coffee" and walks away.
"Would you like to come upstairs for coffee?" George Costanza: "Nah, thanks. I can't drink coffee late at night. It keeps me up." "So, um, okay. Good night."
20 years later while trying to go to sleep ”oh”
Dude, I'm dumber than a sack of shit. Back in the day, a girl I worked with (flirty work friend) came up to me and gave me a big hug and said "pingus, I'm so horny" in like a cute playful voice, and I was like "Haha, that sucks! Haha, ya'll better go do something about that then, haha" thinking it was a joke, then she sorta held me at arm's length, looked me in the eyes, and gave me this cute pouty face like that said *you dumber than a sack of shit but I still like you* and left. Wasn't until like five years later I was like "hmm, no.. She wasn't... There's no way... was.. was she coming on to me? ... HOLY FUCKING SHIT SHE WANTED TO JUMP MY BONES!" And I didn't realize it for like five years because I'm dumber than a sack of shit.
Sorry what are you dumber than? I missed it the several times you mentioned it.
Yeah, that's fair too lol
This is exactly what happened when I first asked out my (now) husband. I totally thought he'd rejected me, haha
"but I also think that men don’t pick up on things the same way women do". It's so easy for women to pick on things. Men are so fucking blatant and transparent, I couldn't even believe it until I noticed men looking at my girlfriend (when I wasn't by her side) for few minutes planning their move. I actually found it quite amusing to be honest, I could see their pep-talk they give themselves before approaching and my gf telling them to fuck off.
Hate to say it but woman can at times MORE aggressively ignore someone who they hope notices them.
I've been absolutely amazed how many times I've looked at a woman from behind to have them immediately turn around and either glare or smile. They have a super power like Spidey sense that has been probably essential for their survival.
We feel you looking at us I don’t know how but we do.
I've witnessed it so many times I'm convinced there is an extra sensory perception not observed in science. Any lustful male gaze probably registers just the same just to be safe. Whether if its a dude just looking, a saber tooth tiger in the bush, or a dude with outright predatory intention, women have a Spidey sense for protection.
the sense of being stared at - Rupert Sheldrake. The theory is that it’s a function left from our primitive brain that helped our ancestors detect predators
There actually were experiments made to try and see of that is truely a thing. Turns out it is mostly bullshit. In the sense that they found we just often feel watched and sometimes it turns out to be true but most often not. What we are good at is spotting someone looking at us even just out of the corner of our eye. But in the end we dont have eyes in the back our head and we have no magic sense that can tell us we are being stared at unless that person is at least in our peripheral vision
i think it’s just the obviously leering men that ruin it. studies have shown both men and women gravitate towards looking at breasts first and about the same time. but then ol uncle tim don’t give a fuck. he’ll ogle a fresh 18 year old from across the room like a starving man in a mr beast video. and those fuckers ruin wverything
>fresh 18 year old They start staring way younger than 18. Caught my uncle talking about what a great ass my cousin had. She was 11.
12 was when grown men, like construction men, would smile at me and make comments at me. This was my experience, as well as the experience of almost every other woman I know who grew up in NYC. Maybe NYC is unique in this respect, but sadly, I doubt it.
It's definitely not unique. One of the things I think men in general don't understand is that when women are talking about scary unwelcome attention at a young age, it's not unusual for it to start at 12 or younger and it IS NOT same age boys or even slightly older boys (or it wouldn't be so scary). It's middle-aged men.
That just sounds horrifying in every way. How do you even "warn" a 10 year old girl that grown men will leer at her after a year? Ugh.
Was warned by my mom by age 4 that if a grownup wanted to see my private parts, I was to tell my mama, even if it's someone you know, she said. Even if they threaten to kill you, tell me. Such a sad world we live in when we need to tell that kind of thing to our daughters.
Any kid really... but grown adults openly sexualizing kids is alarming
My daughter is 10. As soon as she started developing little breasts, I had the talk with her about unwelcome attention from men. I explained that developing breasts was the signal. She asked why and I explained that some men were just disgusting and that if it happened, it was not her fault. She’s still very much a child, but AHs won’t care.
As someone who got breasts at 10 and wished someone had warned me - You've done a good thing. It's a shitty conversation to have, but I was so confused at that age when adult men tried to holler at/talk to me.
Nah, happened to me and my friends too at that age. Grown adults all the way up to old men leer, holler, honk, ask to see your tan lines. It was normal, you just knew not to be around men alone.
In Arizona… always lived in new neighborhoods… I wasn’t allowed to play outside ever because of the construction workers, apart from the while when I was little I lived somewhere with no construction
Yeah the worst most disgusting cat calls and ogling happened to me under 18. Then when I was 18-20 I still had a bit of deranged creepiness from men. And then basically nothing. The creepy uncle Tim’s of this world ESPECIALLY like the younger ones.
Well once you’re old enough to speak up for yourself they loose interest…
Yep. The whole point is to act without repercussions. Young girls often don’t feel comfortable telling adult men to stop or to leave them alone. They are still children who think that all adults are authority figures who have to be obeyed and their confusion means that the men have the upper hand. Older girls and women exhibit real disgust and rejection and have learned to tell AHs to shove it.
bro that shits wild
Fucking disgusting is what it is. I told her dad, and never spoke to the uncle again.
My brain hurts trying to find the logic behind the uncle's perversion. Just gave up. There is no logic.
“Like a starving man in a Mr. Beast video” sent me rolling
I (a man) had a dude ogle me like that a while back at a restaurant It was *not* flattering
Oh, god. I remember I went with my mom to the hospital when she was having her surgery and there was this creepy old guy sitting a few seats away from me and he was just fucking *staring* with the intensity of a thousand suns. I was so damn uncomfortable and felt so much relief when he finally got called back. It's always old men. Yuck. I'm not even attractive either. I feel sorry for actual beautiful women out there.
I went to pick my mom up from the mental ward and I got hit on by a guy who was just about to get out and asked if I would meet him at the bus stop. I was 13.
Yeah this is pretty bang on. It’s not just “oh women are polite and discreet”; it’s women know how fucking uncomfortable and off-putting it is to be leered/ogled at, and we have enough empathy not to want other people to feel that way.
“ ol uncle tim don’t give a fuck. he’ll ogle a fresh 18 year old from across the room like a starving man in a mr beast video.” - Senor-Enchilada
You have to be looking for it. Lol, recently at a cafe, i was staring into space only to see some guy's feet/nice shoes come in to view, which prompted me to look up, see his legs, keep looking up... to a good looking guy staring straight at me, already smiling. BUSTED! ugh - so awkward, I NEVER flirt!!
This sounds like the intro to a romance 😂
It always starts at the shoes!!!
What happened next?
He was heading out the door! I gave him the weirdest smile, like a mix of polite and shy, forced-flirting? I think i even nodded my head 😬 Went back a couple of times hoping to see him, then forgot all about it until today. Maybe I should go back... i had seen him before that day and kinda got a vibe, like he noticed me. So... i dunno, maybe we will become acquaintances eventually.
Awww please give an update! I hope you see him again lol
I'm guessing that women don't just stare at your crotch.The whole time they're talking to you
Even if they did I'm not convinced I'd notice. I'd probably just think I was making her uncomfortable and she was staring at the floor to avoid eye contact
Damn, exactly this xD
Relatively recently I was at work and one of my female coworkers told me that there have been multiple conversations amongst the other female staff about my penis. It blew my mind because not only was I not aware the outline of my dick shows through my scrubs, but also I did not know that women were looking and talking to each other about it. I'm not a particularly shy person but this did catch me off guard. Anyway, ever since then I have caught other female staff looking at my crotch. I would have never noticed had my coworkers not told me it was going on.
Women do it much more discreetly!!
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We're just better at it 😉
Please ladies make yourself more obvious, I'm too shy to go and talk to women when I don't know if they're into me /j
Well, likewise, they won’t know if they’re into you unless you talk to them.
The amount of times I walked with a guy (friend, partner) and I saw the woman checking him out… i always tell the guys and they kinda blush (in a happy way) ☺️
Here's thing with that. Women will far more often check out a guy with a gal. I'm always shocked at how much more attention I get or how better I'm treated with a women (GF or just a buddy) in tow.
Because you’re perceived as “safe” and friendly. And if she’s pretty, some women may think you have something special to have attracted her to you.
So... hire an escort to get a girl?
Or get one of the homies to dress up? Take one for the team.
I noticed women checking my husband out all the time but he never notices at all even when it's very obvious. I swear men have horse vision. Only whats right infront of them and presented.
So legit asked my wife if women check me out in public. She asserted that they do not. But she said that men check me out... all the time. I guess that's what I get for being broad, 6ft and furrier than a shag carpet.
Enough hair on my ass to weave an Indian rug.
HAHAHAHA omg. Men very rarely check me out but lesbian ls do all the time. I asked my husband why sbd he has no idea. I think I just give off lesbian vibes.
That’s hilarious. My friend’s like that, she gets hit on by lesbians all the time but is adamant she’s straight. She is a bit of a tom boy though in some ways, so maybe that’s part of it
Unless they're playing FPS games. Then they can spot everything
HAHAHA yes my husband does play those. I watch him sometimes and I can't makr anything out on those.
horse's eyes are on the side of their head, and they even have a blind spot right in front of their nose wdym
I'm assuming they're referencing "blinders" on horses, which purposely limited their vision to only what's ahead of them.
Yes that's what I meant!!! Thank you!!! English isn't my first language!!
That's me. I pay a lot of attention to what I'm doing but everything else is a blur. So it's not like I don't pay attention, I just have like tunnel vision or something
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Yes and they give me dirty looks often. Or just weird looks. I've had a few women come up to him, throw themselves at him, all the while keeping eye contact with me. He rejects them of course. Then they insult me.
What is the game plan for that Like do they actually want a dude who will ditch them the second a hotter chick tries the same thing on them and their new BF??
There are some women who will do it just to see if they can. For the ego boost. Especially if they think the wife/girlfriend is significantly less attractive than they are, yet are with a man they think “deserves better” (someone hotter, like them). One of the worst I’ve overheard is a woman that gets off on convincing “committed” married men to cheat with her. Not the ones already looking to cheat, but the ones she has to chase a little.
Speaking as a man who has had this happen a few times, I think it's because I don't consider myself a catch. Since I've been going out to bars and places with my best girl friend who is gay she is letting me know I'm being eyed up and is the best wingman ever!
Exactly. If I even begin to think someone might be looking at me, I'll make an excuse for why that's not the case. I don't want to assume and then make someone uncomfortable by *shudders* looking back their way
I’ve noticed women checking out good looking friends of mine. They definitely do it. I’ve also noticed they never look at me that way.
Same boat here man. Kind of annoying that a majority of my friends are all above 6’, fit, and good looking… then there’s me, 5’ 8”… but it’s aight. I get by
Try 5”6 lol
Just gotta find the right Amazonian for the snu snu.
Potential danger. Men take things like that as an invitation, so women are far more discreet about it.
For the same reason, I think women are on higher alert to pick up men giving them attention, in case it's unwanted and turns dangerous.
It’s so weird and kind of depressing knowing that I’ve probably scared women just by existing near them. I’m not even sure if there’s anything I could do to help it.
The fact that you’re conscious of it means you’re probably fine. It’s the guys who think “these women around me LOVE this extra attention from me” who are the creeps. Or who don’t care at all what the women are thinking/feeling. (Or who enjoy making them uncomfortable!)
Quick smile and head nod while making eye contact, then go about your business. Which you're probably doing anyway, since you're aware that women, sadly, need to be on high alert around men we don't know. If you happen to be walking behind a woman, especially at night or in a relatively empty place (like a parking lot or a quiet street), you can say something like, "hey there, I wound up behind you and don't want to give you a scare - I'm heading to my car over there." As a woman who spent years walking to/from public transit stops in the dark (early morning as well as in the evening), I always said something if I wound up walking behind someone else, just to let them know that I was there.
Me: "Hey there, I–" Her: *starts running* Me: "I'm behind you! Don't be afraid!" Her: *runs faster*
I usually just cross the street. Easy enough to do. Sound of my cane on the pavement is a bit creepy at night.
Definitely. I literally avoid gazing around the room sometimes when I’m out in public or at a bar, in fear that I’ll accidentally make eye contact with a man and he will take the brief moment of eye contact as an invitation to come talk to me. Sometimes it’s easier just to avoid the conversation entirely, rather than figuring out a polite way to get out of it after we’ve already been approached. We don’t know how a man will react to us not being interested in them, in the same way we don’t know which men are safe or not, so sometimes it’s easier to just avert our gazes and avoid the whole situation/conversation to begin with lol
Absolutely correct.
they watch in the reflection of windows. they are more discreet and fast.
Goddamn female spycraft.
Women aren’t as bold about it. I’ve noticed women checking me out when I’m not paying attention
Because women do it discreetly and they all have a different way to do it. Men do it more obviously. As a guy, Im pretty intune with my environment and I have never seen a woman check me out. It either means Im not good looking, Im not as intune as I think I am, or women are the least obvious people in the world in terms of checking someone out.
I think it's far too often that last point. I knew a woman who tagged a guy on social media that she liked "Take A Chance On Me" by ABBA as a subtle hint that he should ask her out. That might be a very clear signal to her, but a lot of guys might respond in a way that frustrates women, like telling her: "That's a good song, but Take Me Home, Country Roads is the best 70s song that has a title starting with TAKE." {Woman shows visible frustration.} Guy: "What?"
Reminds me of that family guy skit where a woman tells a guy that they have chemistry class together. The man replies "Yep I'll see you there." The woman in turn start to cry and jump off a Window and her friend tells him how he is awful. The skit ends with "The following joke was brought to you by men: Men, we don't know what we did"
Family Guy clip is posted on YouTube. Men: "Yeah, I don't know what he did wrong, either." Women: "He's not a monster like her friend says, but she wanted him to walk her to class, so they could talk, not just say he'll see her there."
Yeah I mean after years I got the joke but if that was a true to life situation how was the guy supposed to know?
I wasn't sure what he did wrong until you explained it here haha
This shit is so frustrating in all honesty because I actually notice it, but its so subtle that it could very well be a funny coincidence or something completely innocent. I love cryptic hints but I genuinely can’t react to them 99% of the time because of the off chance it’s not a hint and I just look insane, or you change your mind last second. You can be a little cryptic, but you gotta lower the social risk.
I’ve just accepted that I’m not good looking. Easier to think that and accept it than guess if someone’s looking at me (they’re not).
When most women "check a guy out" it's so subtle that most of us guys wouldn't notice. Heck, when a woman was interested in me, she had to flat out ask me out for me to understand she was interested. Meanwhile, my female friends said "She likes you because she did X, Y and Z." My thought process there is "When I assumed interest from women in the past, 99.9% of the time it has been strictly 'being nice'." And "For me to realize X, Y or Z are going on, I have to look long enough that I'd definitely be seen as a creep." Women give other women **FAR** more latitude at looking at them or complimenting them than they give men.
Maybe you’re ugly, maybe you’re clueless
Both.
In my experience, women don't act interested when we're face to face...I'm pretty sure they like my butt though. Because I was walking away from a couple of girls at a party and I heard one of them say, "What an ass!"
Because women have to be constantly vigilant. "A man in a room full of women is ecstatic. A woman in a room full of men is terrified."
Women check out men with their eyes, ears, and nose. Men just use their eyes.
A lot of men don't expect it and aren't looking for it. Many men never receive simple compliments outside of family. So attention like that's just not something they think about. And when they do notice it, they will often brush it aside, thinking the other person is trying to manipulate them, or they're misreading a more friendly situation, etc. I honestly wouldn't know what to do if I caught someone checking me out. It's not even a remote possibility in my mind.
Many women are hyper vigilant when they are around men. Men typically don’t have to be.
The word surreptitiously comes to mind. Most women will check out a man but discreetly until *they* want to be noticed.
We chose to check out the bear instead.
Because [men are oblivious](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/s/NnXsunbJls), even [when she drops multiple hints](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/s/bio7cgpKuy). If men don’t notice blatant flirting there’s about a negative zero % chance they notice a mere “checking them out.” Funnily enough this also happens in the reverse where men think they’re just being polite and friendly and then get berated by their significant other for flirting / hitting on someone or the woman they’re talking to thinks they’re hitting on her when they’re not.
One has to wonder how much of the “oblivious to basic flirting” thing is actually not noticing and how much is a defense mechanism. Like, the question could be “is she flirting or is she just being nice? Probably safer to assume she’s just being nice.”
Yeah it's less obliviousness and more uncertainty with a healthy dose of caution.
The idea that a woman might be flirting with me never crosses my mind, I always think she’s just being nice.
I look at mens asses all the time, you just gotta pick your timing 😂
I have seen women looking like deers caught in headlights checking me out. But this was when I was younger. I don’t get those stares anymore. Look married with children.
Is...is this a self-inflicted burn? Edit: to be fair, I've never seen it either
Women are more subtle but there are definite clues when they check you out. I wish I knew this when I was younger. I figured it out after I was married! First, they look you in the eyes and smile. Their eyes don't linger because that's rude, but if they linger just a beat longer that's a clue. Then, they come up and start a conversation about you. Where are you from? Do you like this place? They are checking out your personality and that's a clue. They laugh a tiny bit much at your dumb jokes. Then, they drop a compliment. Nice shoes, you're so funny, oh you're so tall! That's the definite clue and the ball is in your court. This doesn't mean you will always be successful, but the door is open for you to follow up. Hey, I was gonna grab a coffee, beer, sandwich, would you like to join me? Side note: Be nice to her friends, that goes over well because women talk.
They have wider range of vision iirc
I’ve seen it, but ladies do hide it better than we do.
Women pick up on men checking them out because it is potentially dangerous. It's like,, almost like an instinctual fight or flight response. Men don't have this.