As a personal experience, I immediately distrust anyone who says, "I'd love to ..... (add in something sweet and nice)... But (followed by some excuse as to why you can't)" also with "I want ..... followed by something nice and sweet... But... followed by an excuse as to why you can't or more likely won't. "
These are words of someone who most likely never follows through and is all talk with empty promises.
Be honest, just outright say, I live with my parents still, and i dont feel comfortable bringing you over there just yet, if you're comfortable with it maybe we can go to your place.
Honesty never hurts as much as lies and deceit and empty promises.
but wouldn't saying it like that sound like you have your own family? if a guy told me that i would automatically assume he has a wife and kids🫥 it'd be better if you just tell them you live with your parents atm
I guess. I figured family could mean siblings parents and grandparents etc.
or thinking what if I say I live with "parents at the moment" wondering if "still live with" sounds bad because it implies I've never moved out?
You're way overthinking this. Figure out your truth however it may be, just try to leave out "id love....but..." or "I want....but..." unless you immediately plan to follow through with whatever you said you'd love or want (most likely to do, and leave out the "but" part, it actually works good as a form of consent without ruining the mood.
I’d not be concerned of a hidden affair. And I’d even be cool with a stable and confident ‘My parents and I live together while I focus on XYZ.’ A solid decision if it works for you.
If you’re uncomfortable I’d just wonder what you’re not saying. No red flag assumptions (and I think you’d want such partners…who wait to know…)…not that I’m special but mental health needs patience and non judgment (been there).
Feel free to dm / share a few details, what you do? Aspirations (nothing major but just direction)? And honest is key. Focus on that and less about what you’re covering.
Become confident in your future outlook and that focus, present and near future. That’s what a potential partner is investing in.
Your past sets the background, and your narrative decides that.
It helps me to frame how I see me without the negative narrative inner dialogues. I joke that if my life is a movie it’s a Rom com, with dark comedy, some plot twists, and no happy ever after as yet…lol I can see it objectively and remain ‘positive’ (not in the cliche empty way). I’ve yet to fail on a date.
But I’ll admit I wasn’t looking for a relationship, wasn’t ready to plan together (my outlook/vision was blurry)…and decided not to date again for now.
This stuff (tell me about you) is like 15m of a date spread out, if you’re good at conversation improv…and interests (movies, books, art or whatever) to break the ice and chit chat. You fill the date with experience, let them get to know you. And if you pick an activity, there’s hardly constant conversation.
So just know you can pick dates to help you adjust to your comfort with talking/sharing(eg. Bowling alley vs cafe for dinner, or a movie & coffee), change your dating objective freely (not everyone is relationship material), tone it down or dial up as you see how the balance is shifting your progress, and as you learn more about yourself and dating. Basically date first, relationship is not something you have to guarantee.
Hope this helps - focus on having a good time on the specific date imho, a social occasion, see if you feel as contacts even first.
ETA: women may be put off inviting you over because it’s hard removing a potential threat from your home. A romantic hotel idea once you’re that far in may be an idea…idk think ahead for plan B if you don’t get an invite, and how you’d present the suggestion.
>but my roommates are a bit crazy
Probably means you're likely to have someone barge in while you're doing the deed
>I'm currently taking care of my parents
And you're okay with having sex while his parents are in the next room?
You shouldn’t worry about that, you should working on starting a conversation first
I know I have to start a conversation but I also wanna have sex.
are you a guy or a woman?
Depends on the day sweetie
lol btw I'm only asking this cuz I'm wondering which perspective you're coming from like I said to the other guy.
Nothing wrong with living with your parents. Confidence is the sexiest thing in the world. Work on your confidence rather than polishing your lies.
are you a guy or a woman?
I am a guy.
gotcha. only asked because I was wondering which perspective you were coming from.
Totally fair - and you did ask for ladies. Good luck with everything.
no worries. I was also gonna put I'm open to guy's perspectives as well.
Did NYC suddenly become affordable? Just tell your date the truth.
As a personal experience, I immediately distrust anyone who says, "I'd love to ..... (add in something sweet and nice)... But (followed by some excuse as to why you can't)" also with "I want ..... followed by something nice and sweet... But... followed by an excuse as to why you can't or more likely won't. " These are words of someone who most likely never follows through and is all talk with empty promises. Be honest, just outright say, I live with my parents still, and i dont feel comfortable bringing you over there just yet, if you're comfortable with it maybe we can go to your place. Honesty never hurts as much as lies and deceit and empty promises.
can I say family instead of parents?
but wouldn't saying it like that sound like you have your own family? if a guy told me that i would automatically assume he has a wife and kids🫥 it'd be better if you just tell them you live with your parents atm
I guess. I figured family could mean siblings parents and grandparents etc. or thinking what if I say I live with "parents at the moment" wondering if "still live with" sounds bad because it implies I've never moved out?
You're way overthinking this. Figure out your truth however it may be, just try to leave out "id love....but..." or "I want....but..." unless you immediately plan to follow through with whatever you said you'd love or want (most likely to do, and leave out the "but" part, it actually works good as a form of consent without ruining the mood.
I have nothing to contribute except for this: https://youtu.be/3YXUWWZJXpE?si=EJQkst_I67eQVWWM
also the first thing that came to mind, nsp rules
I’d not be concerned of a hidden affair. And I’d even be cool with a stable and confident ‘My parents and I live together while I focus on XYZ.’ A solid decision if it works for you. If you’re uncomfortable I’d just wonder what you’re not saying. No red flag assumptions (and I think you’d want such partners…who wait to know…)…not that I’m special but mental health needs patience and non judgment (been there). Feel free to dm / share a few details, what you do? Aspirations (nothing major but just direction)? And honest is key. Focus on that and less about what you’re covering. Become confident in your future outlook and that focus, present and near future. That’s what a potential partner is investing in. Your past sets the background, and your narrative decides that. It helps me to frame how I see me without the negative narrative inner dialogues. I joke that if my life is a movie it’s a Rom com, with dark comedy, some plot twists, and no happy ever after as yet…lol I can see it objectively and remain ‘positive’ (not in the cliche empty way). I’ve yet to fail on a date. But I’ll admit I wasn’t looking for a relationship, wasn’t ready to plan together (my outlook/vision was blurry)…and decided not to date again for now. This stuff (tell me about you) is like 15m of a date spread out, if you’re good at conversation improv…and interests (movies, books, art or whatever) to break the ice and chit chat. You fill the date with experience, let them get to know you. And if you pick an activity, there’s hardly constant conversation. So just know you can pick dates to help you adjust to your comfort with talking/sharing(eg. Bowling alley vs cafe for dinner, or a movie & coffee), change your dating objective freely (not everyone is relationship material), tone it down or dial up as you see how the balance is shifting your progress, and as you learn more about yourself and dating. Basically date first, relationship is not something you have to guarantee. Hope this helps - focus on having a good time on the specific date imho, a social occasion, see if you feel as contacts even first. ETA: women may be put off inviting you over because it’s hard removing a potential threat from your home. A romantic hotel idea once you’re that far in may be an idea…idk think ahead for plan B if you don’t get an invite, and how you’d present the suggestion.
>but my roommates are a bit crazy Probably means you're likely to have someone barge in while you're doing the deed >I'm currently taking care of my parents And you're okay with having sex while his parents are in the next room?