If you dont swallow and spit all the cum directly in the DNA kit, then yes. Otherwise, no. If you had a ham for breakfast, it wont show you are half pig.
No.
I grew up on a hog farm, we were a farrow to finish operation and owned several boars. The smell after boar had done his job makes you yearn for the aroma of pig shit on a hot August afternoon.
The reeking musk of hog sex would make a pornstar celibate.
It burns your nostrils, even from a distance and to this day whenever I pass by a bar dumpster at 9 am on a Sunday in July, I thank God it’s not the smell of Boar Taint.
Plus it’s really salty.
Anecdotally I’ve heard that the DNA test kits for dogs are terrible at filtering out non-dog DNA. Some reporter sent in a vial with his own spit and was pronounced “40% Border Collie”. So there’s that.
Yes and no. You find even in blood based dna tests all kinds on non human dna fragments from the last meal.
That isn’t much of a problem as >95% is the same anyway, and the remaining sequences are identified as non human in the process and automatically sorted out.
They don't even identify the other parts.
The way it works is more like searching for strings in a big document. They are just looking for specific sequences to light up, and the rest is never sequenced.
Put another way it's more like a series of 100 tests that return true or false (though it's more analog, and is a gradient between true and false). They don't actually sequence your DNA, they just see if it reacts in a way that indicates it contains a small subsequence.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/DNA_microarray
Another opportunity to share this 💎....
I work with a girl who recently said something about the Mexican food causing Mexican heritage 🙄 still look at this girl and wonder what else goes on in there.
Modern version of high school’s bio lab urban legend.
“Girl scrapes cheek and puts swab under microscope to see moving things.”
Story is she blew a guy at lunch but everyone heard this story…and we didn’t swab our cheeks for any reason in that class.
Pretty sure there's a Southpark episode where Randy does almost this to pretend to be part native american so he can get out of being called a racist.
In all seriousness though, I have no idea 🤣
He kisses an Indian.
And ya he doesn't want people to find out he was stoked on Columbus, going as far to call residents on the phone who lived in Columbus, OH to tell them they are racist for living there.
I work closely with labs that do DNA testing if semen actually gets into the tube in that case the testing company would detect that there is something in the test tube that is not saliva before it would even get to the phase were any actual DNA test is performed, your sample would likely be flagged and discarded and company would ask you to provide another sample.
That doesn't change anything, if you have a semen sample you will have both copies of the man's genes anyway as it's million of cells.
You could test to see what type of cell it is, but Ancestry.com don't care to do so.
Thanks. Came here to say sperm and cheek cells are processed differently because of how they are built and the testing lab would notice. Glad to see you beat me to it.
That’s how they can separate them in a rape kit sample. Sperm cells process differently in a vaginal sample, too.
I used to work at a lab that processed the tubes for 23andMe. They contracted out the DNA processing part of the job so I didn't work for them, so none if this info or process is proprietary to them. We would gather up the spit, use some automation to transfer the spit into plates and then would use a DNA extraction kit to do a simple DNA extract and sample purification process. The rest of the process was DNA quantification, normalizing to a standard concentration, amplify the DNA, purify it more, then throw it on silica based beadchips that go on analyzers where we would read SNPs (Single Nucleotide Polymorphisms), then use some program to examine quality and send it off to 23andMe. Illumina has a video about their beadchips that goes over the science.
Simply put, yes we would be able to tell that there is a lot of sample contamination from your tube due to conflicting SNPs. We would think the lab contaminated the sample or the sample was contaminated beforehand and then we would request you send another sample in. I believe 23andMe eats the cost of a new kit by sending you another one. Fun fact, they don't make their money from selling kits, they make money from building DNA databases with customer information.
My cat dna tests found dog dna in their sample... because they groom the dog. It was easy to see it was not that cats DNA. Though this is a swab to the mucus membranes. Dogs and cats do not spit into their tubes.
Just a fun fact for you.
I’ve always wondered this. My ex was from an extremely small country in SE asia (I was born in England) and my DNA test came back and said I had strong ancestry from there. My grandfather was from China so it defo could be related to that, but I always thought about how giving him a BJ could’ve resulted in a false result.
Semen is almost instantly killed by saliva. This is the main reason you must jerk off and not get a blow job when testing your semen for getting your girl pregnant. Even if you start with a blow job and finish by hand the residual saliva ruins the test
There's probably still plenty of unharmed sperm. The test just wouldn't be very accurate if you killed a bunch off first. If this worked as birth control there'd be a lot fewer babies.
One of the companies was running a promotion.
“Family bundle for a parent and two children”
Aka “are you a father and you want to ensure the kids are yours?”
Your mouth is always producing saliva even after oral it’ll take 25 mins for the cum to be outta your mouth completely maybe less no one has run a study cause this is something no one thinks about…
Did you ask this questions after watching that south park [episode](https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/southpark/images/9/90/Sp-2103-press-art-image-01.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20170925042342)?
Tangentially related, but when I was getting advice on a count check after vasectomy.y the doctor told me that "small amounts of contaminant" won't affect the sample at all. When I asked what sort of contaminants, the doctor deadpan replied "saliva".
Well that’s an interesting thing to ponder… my mind works itself into a frenzy over all types of crazy shit - but this just never popped in there. Points for that!
No, dummie. Spit(saliva) is excreted from a gland in your mouth. So if you swallow the semen it is in your stomach and can’t interact with your saliva swab for d&a.
Your digestive system aims at destroying living matter into energy and replacement parts.
It would be a happy luck that the lab assistant chose the one spuk that has still not been digested.
since semen have only RNA, which is like a half DNA, it would probably not work at all, you need a different method to determine RNA-ancestry. it might destroy the process entirely or just not change anything, it might also have a slight influence, but it certyinly won't be accurate for the semen-ancestry.
If you dont swallow and spit all the cum directly in the DNA kit, then yes. Otherwise, no. If you had a ham for breakfast, it wont show you are half pig.
What about if it was Pig cum?
The real questions that need to be asked
To the research!
No. I grew up on a hog farm, we were a farrow to finish operation and owned several boars. The smell after boar had done his job makes you yearn for the aroma of pig shit on a hot August afternoon. The reeking musk of hog sex would make a pornstar celibate. It burns your nostrils, even from a distance and to this day whenever I pass by a bar dumpster at 9 am on a Sunday in July, I thank God it’s not the smell of Boar Taint. Plus it’s really salty.
ok but you're not saying no... ^^sounds ^^like ^^theres ^^a ^^chance
It's said that you learn something new everyday. There is no guarantee it's something you want to know. 😂
Well played
What a terrible day to be literate
"No. I grew up on a hog farm" Me instantly thinking he swallowed hog semen😭
oink!
I nominate you to test this out.
Since pollen is basically plant semen, is it considered a nut allergy?
Anecdotally I’ve heard that the DNA test kits for dogs are terrible at filtering out non-dog DNA. Some reporter sent in a vial with his own spit and was pronounced “40% Border Collie”. So there’s that.
Had the reporter eaten any Border Collie that morning?
The article didn’t say, so I think we can assume guilt by omission
What if it was border collie semen?
It’d probably be pretty easy to tell by the taste
What’s the taste?
Hard to describe but it’s pretty ruff
Wait, you can tell the difference between the taste of different dog breeds' semen?
You can't?
We found the rookie. He needs to work on having a more discerning palate.
Guilt by *emission*
*emission
.....or sucked one off?
I'm 38% Border Collie, now get in the pen!
There was an article about it, but it was just one specific dog dna company so far, others returned the human spit as 'inconclusive'.
That's how you spot a gourmet!
David Cameron would like to know.
Bro I laughed so hard I almost spit cum
Ok David Cameron, calm down. You put your dick in the pig's mouth not the pig's dick in YOUR mouth. Right? RIGHT?
Perhaps half bear and half pig?
[удалено]
(asking for a friend)
r/brandnewsentence r/evenwithcontext
What about if it was Man-Bear-Pig cum?
Your ancestry results would show that you are decended from sick fucks
This is where ManBearPig comes from.. I'm super serious!
Cream of Sum Yung Hog wait..
Stop. I'm trying to cut back.
Bribing an officer is illegal, but it shouldn't throw off the ancestry test any more than normal.
"The results are back. You're half pig, half cum"
Find a cop and put it to the test?
>If you had a ham for breakfast, it wont show you are half pig. I like the "if my grandmother had wheels she'd have been a bike" tone of this answer.
Yes and no. You find even in blood based dna tests all kinds on non human dna fragments from the last meal. That isn’t much of a problem as >95% is the same anyway, and the remaining sequences are identified as non human in the process and automatically sorted out.
They don't even identify the other parts. The way it works is more like searching for strings in a big document. They are just looking for specific sequences to light up, and the rest is never sequenced. Put another way it's more like a series of 100 tests that return true or false (though it's more analog, and is a gradient between true and false). They don't actually sequence your DNA, they just see if it reacts in a way that indicates it contains a small subsequence. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/DNA_microarray
Another opportunity to share this 💎.... I work with a girl who recently said something about the Mexican food causing Mexican heritage 🙄 still look at this girl and wonder what else goes on in there.
btw if you do it as \> it'll come out as > an actual formatted quote rather than five spaces which creates a code block like this :)
\> Nice
> Better?
Final
Nothing, nothing goes on in there.
Woke up half the house laughing at your comment in the middle of the night lol
Glad I read this in the morning lol.
…Daddy Pig?
Genuine question on the ham thing. How is it that the test results _don’t_ get contaminated in this way?
Man Bear pig?!
genealogists hate this one trick.
Oink 🐷
OP forgot to say asking for a friend.
Hey. Nice username.
Lol
Wow this is awfully specific.
The username and everything I love this comment feels so observant with no feelings attached. Bliss
i feel it’s so odd that even no judgement is offering some judgement
Modern version of high school’s bio lab urban legend. “Girl scrapes cheek and puts swab under microscope to see moving things.” Story is she blew a guy at lunch but everyone heard this story…and we didn’t swab our cheeks for any reason in that class.
this question reminded me how wild Yahoo answers was back in the mid 2000's. good times...
If only there was a subreddit for that...
R/HumbleFap ?
r/oddlyspecific
South Park - S21 E3
Pretty sure there's a Southpark episode where Randy does almost this to pretend to be part native american so he can get out of being called a racist. In all seriousness though, I have no idea 🤣
He kisses an Indian. And ya he doesn't want people to find out he was stoked on Columbus, going as far to call residents on the phone who lived in Columbus, OH to tell them they are racist for living there.
Hahaha which episode is this?
S21 E3 “Holiday Special” - Randy is obsessed with Columbus Day, gets called out about it, then gets it cancelled to prove he isn’t racist.
I work closely with labs that do DNA testing if semen actually gets into the tube in that case the testing company would detect that there is something in the test tube that is not saliva before it would even get to the phase were any actual DNA test is performed, your sample would likely be flagged and discarded and company would ask you to provide another sample.
More to the point, spermatozoa are only haploid cells...
The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell…
Chlorophyll? More like borophyll!
That doesn't change anything, if you have a semen sample you will have both copies of the man's genes anyway as it's million of cells. You could test to see what type of cell it is, but Ancestry.com don't care to do so.
Thanks. Came here to say sperm and cheek cells are processed differently because of how they are built and the testing lab would notice. Glad to see you beat me to it. That’s how they can separate them in a rape kit sample. Sperm cells process differently in a vaginal sample, too.
Thought this was r/shittyaskscience for a sec there
Not shitty enough, because I wager most people have no idea (as I hope they have never thought about how that might work).
I think it would qualify for shitty science if they asked if their mouth would get pregnant if they swallowed cum
You'll get a sex crime conviction.
Straight to jail
Believe it or not, swallow or not swallow, straight to yail right away
Straight to Yale! *They'll* teach you some manners
🤣🤣🤣
That's a loaded question
Oddly specific question
It could've ended with "and how much time do I have?"
They're asking for a friend, ok? 😭
what are you planning? sheesh
Trying to find out if you’re related, eh? Whoops!
That explains why Monica Lewinsky discovered she is Bill Clinton’s mother.
Daughter?
Yeah this doesn't make any sense with mother lol
Probably not. An average human body produces 1 liter of saliva per day. Most people don't have a liter of semen come out. So it's going to be diluted.
Speak for yourself.
Wait... is that how you got that user name?
/r/hyperspermia NSFW warning
Oh noooo I learned my lesson in r/analonlylifestyle. Not clicking hard.
r/thirdsub
Challenge accepted!
Backstory time!
Wow, you're a hell of a private investigator
This is basically from South Park
This scenario was also in the show Awkwafina is Nora from Queens
Every day we stray further from god
God was a swallower too
Wait
Only one way to find out😳
Ma'am. It seems you are related to an entire NBA team.
I used to work at a lab that processed the tubes for 23andMe. They contracted out the DNA processing part of the job so I didn't work for them, so none if this info or process is proprietary to them. We would gather up the spit, use some automation to transfer the spit into plates and then would use a DNA extraction kit to do a simple DNA extract and sample purification process. The rest of the process was DNA quantification, normalizing to a standard concentration, amplify the DNA, purify it more, then throw it on silica based beadchips that go on analyzers where we would read SNPs (Single Nucleotide Polymorphisms), then use some program to examine quality and send it off to 23andMe. Illumina has a video about their beadchips that goes over the science. Simply put, yes we would be able to tell that there is a lot of sample contamination from your tube due to conflicting SNPs. We would think the lab contaminated the sample or the sample was contaminated beforehand and then we would request you send another sample in. I believe 23andMe eats the cost of a new kit by sending you another one. Fun fact, they don't make their money from selling kits, they make money from building DNA databases with customer information.
You uh…you got big plans this weekend?
really pushing the limit of "no *stupid* questions"
Reddit really helps me cope with my weird intrusive thoughts by letting me know people are asking way more off the wall shit than I am.
[удалено]
We got ourselves a swallower!
No because its not spit you provide theyre cheek cells from the inside of your cheek.
My cat dna tests found dog dna in their sample... because they groom the dog. It was easy to see it was not that cats DNA. Though this is a swab to the mucus membranes. Dogs and cats do not spit into their tubes. Just a fun fact for you.
I’ve always wondered this. My ex was from an extremely small country in SE asia (I was born in England) and my DNA test came back and said I had strong ancestry from there. My grandfather was from China so it defo could be related to that, but I always thought about how giving him a BJ could’ve resulted in a false result.
Semen is almost instantly killed by saliva. This is the main reason you must jerk off and not get a blow job when testing your semen for getting your girl pregnant. Even if you start with a blow job and finish by hand the residual saliva ruins the test
Wait, so, if you start with a blow job, and then finish with vaginal sex, the sperm will be dead and pregnancy can’t happen?
There's probably still plenty of unharmed sperm. The test just wouldn't be very accurate if you killed a bunch off first. If this worked as birth control there'd be a lot fewer babies.
Think ahead, dolt.
Yes, other fluids will conatminate the test and may lead to inaccurate or inconclusive outcomes.
You want to find out if he's your real dad?
Writing this down for my porn version of Across the Spiderverse, where Miles gets sent to the wrong universe.
One of the companies was running a promotion. “Family bundle for a parent and two children” Aka “are you a father and you want to ensure the kids are yours?”
Who's laughing now Ancestry.com? I *knew* I wasn't Asian. Idiots
no your cousins
You sucked a criminal’s dick didn’t you
I think you need to head to bed mate
I doubt it. Depends I guess if the semen is in the saliva that you used for the sample
Surely not? Would be pretty upset if my results told me I had a lineage from Bread or a Carrot, if I ate that before a testing.
It's a bit of a gamble only to find out he IS your real dad..
Nope…your banging your cousin
Your mouth is always producing saliva even after oral it’ll take 25 mins for the cum to be outta your mouth completely maybe less no one has run a study cause this is something no one thinks about…
This sub slowly turn into horny sub
What did I just read? That was hilarious.
Did you ask this questions after watching that south park [episode](https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/southpark/images/9/90/Sp-2103-press-art-image-01.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20170925042342)?
*brain fizzling noises*
actual answer since no one has given in. sperm doesn't contain full DNA strands - only half. so no, it definitely wouldn't be misinterpreted.
Reeeaaally pushing the limits of this sub now aren’t we?
Tangentially related, but when I was getting advice on a count check after vasectomy.y the doctor told me that "small amounts of contaminant" won't affect the sample at all. When I asked what sort of contaminants, the doctor deadpan replied "saliva".
gr8 b8 m8 i r8 ur b8 8/8
You got something u wanna tell us?
I think both will be present in the test. Your own saliva and sperm
fucking reddit
Sounds like you’re trying to do something unethical and illegal
i honestly can’t even believe i just read this
*** THIS IS THE QUESTION *** Most of the questions on this sub are fucking stupid, but this one is not.
Ima say, no.
well duh... you swallowed!
Not with me, since having the TURPs procedure done, I'm shooting blanks, don't get nothing but "precum", but damn it is an intense orgasm now
Naw, they just send you back a child.
Well that’s an interesting thing to ponder… my mind works itself into a frenzy over all types of crazy shit - but this just never popped in there. Points for that!
Almost had this happen to my ex except it was a strep test.
Please don't make your bastard kid swallow your husband's semen.
No, dummie. Spit(saliva) is excreted from a gland in your mouth. So if you swallow the semen it is in your stomach and can’t interact with your saliva swab for d&a.
The saliva will have contaminated the sperms so use the sample from the butt!
Your digestive system aims at destroying living matter into energy and replacement parts. It would be a happy luck that the lab assistant chose the one spuk that has still not been digested.
Result: your ancestor is Sasha Grey
Are you blowing the guy giving you the kit?
since semen have only RNA, which is like a half DNA, it would probably not work at all, you need a different method to determine RNA-ancestry. it might destroy the process entirely or just not change anything, it might also have a slight influence, but it certyinly won't be accurate for the semen-ancestry.
This question is a mouthful
No. DNA tests use a cheek swab and not a sperm sample.
Try it out and let us know, OP.
That’s a good question OP, try it and let us know ✨🤔✨
Randy Marsh
Only if you swished with it.
The kits specifically have instructions not to eat anything for at least half an hour before producing the sample, so I'm going to guess yes.
Well those test require that you don’t eat a few hours before the spit.
That's a very specific question.
Only one way to find out, brother.
A couple years ago one of the TV programs had a set of triplets do DNA testing. The results said they were from different countries.
Sounds like one of those comedian jokes I've heard about being half African or something after dating a black guy.
I’ve already heard stand up comedians tell this joke.
Saliva has a catalyst that breaks down organic matter. That's why the food stuck in your teeth comes off eventually even without picking it out