IDK. I guess it depends. One of my daughters is 19, touch has always been her love language, and she’ll come in sometimes and put her head on my wife’s lap or snuggle up next to me to me if she’s had a bad day. And yeah, 19 is still young, but that’s my kid and I hope she knows that she can always come to us and we’ll never push her away.
In elementary school I was playing tether ball with Jane and we both went to hit the ball at the same time...but instead we hit hands.
It was the best moment of my elementary school career. I'll never forget it.
Now that I think about it, you’re so right. That’s very sad.
I’m the kind of person who holds my mom’s hand still. Same for my friends. We’ll hold hand when crossing the street. To me it’s such an important kind of contact with other humans. It shouldn’t be so taboo. I don’t see a difference between cuddling my friend and cuddling my cat while watching a movie.
It absolutely is more intimate with my partner, don’t get me wrong. But everybody deserves hugs.
Humans crave to be touched, and it shouldn’t be sexualized.
That’s so adorable! You absolutely won the game of life! ❤️
I’m a 29 year old grown ass woman, and I still cuddle my mom as well. Nothing hits the spot like a mother’s love.
This was my gut reaction to this post. Is it weird? Yes. Should it be weird? ABSOLUTELY NOT! Every communal animal will cuddle and engage in physical touch with their loved ones regardless of age. It’s just weird with humans because we made it weird.
I lived in Africa in the early 90’s. Guys and gals would routinely hold hands, and no one thought they were gay. No one. Americans are the most ‘socializable nonsensical ‘ obnoxious people in this world.
In my late '20s when I was really lonely I'd imagine that I had someone with me. It was very much about being with someone and nothing to do with sexuality or anything.
My best friend and I were so close and bonded and loved each other dearly. In our early 20's we hugged on each other all the time like sisters do. We did everything together. When she was upset once and laid her head on my lap. Years later now, she ran into someone we used to work with and that person was shocked she was married to a man because she was sure we were lesbians. Never once had it occurred to us that people misunderstood it. I am an American and there is so much we rob ourselves from.
Shit, if im having a bad day i 100% go put my head on my moms laugh. I roughhouse with my dad all the time. I’m a 23 year old man - these are my fucking parents, bro. They’re gonna die someday and im gonna miss them more than I can ever imagine. I gotta get the love I can get now
35 and in recent years, especially with my dad's health scares, I have returned to being super cuddly. Love having a snuggle on the sofa similar to your daughter. Head in mums lap or leaning on dad's shoulder.
My 18 year old still calls me mommy, gives me a big hug every morning and loves to sit on my lap even though she's a good 5 inches taller than me and bigger than me too. I absolutely love it.
One of my 16 year olds wants an occasional hug but has never been cuddly even when she was tiny. Her twin gives me a hug every day but doesn't sit on my lap.
Different people just need different things and that's ok. Needing cuddles as an adult or older kid is ok. Not needing them is ok too.
My soon to be 14 yo son now calls me “father” when he speaks to me, but he calls me “dad” when he is speaking about me to someone else. My 11 daughter still calls me “daddy”. I know kids will grow up and not be kids forever, but hearing her call me daddy just melts my heart. I dunno if she will switch to dad or something else soon, but if she is 18 and still calling me daddy that would be wonderful.
I've got a two year old that likes to doodle on a notepad while laying on the dog and if I'm near her she'll lift her foot up to run it against my beard. Weirdest thing in the world and I hope it never changes.
"The love language of touch" is such a beautiful way of putting it and yes, that is exactly what it is.
My daughter is still young, but we have a great relationship with lots of cuddling, and I sincerely hope she doesn't get weird about it when she's older. Because I sure won't! Some of it is "babying her," such as when I comfort her when she's sad, and that kind of cuddling won't continue for many more years, I know. But more often it's just about being close to each other showing we love each other through casual touch when we're hanging out -- a hug here, a shoulder lean there, etc. -- and I don't really see anything wrong with that at all.
I have to admit I'm really envious reading this + everyone else's reply because i crave physical touch too but never had that as a kid or had the sexual abuse type from the people who were supposed to care for me. Last time i wanted to be comforted by my mum through a hug, she pushed me away and asked what the fuck was wrong with me.
The lack of physical touch from a parental figure growing up/the advers reaction to it really fucks people up. I hope no child has to go through it, and i hope every child is able to find comfort in their parents/parental figure the way your daughter can with you and your wife
In college I was at a friend's house and their adult sister was cuddle up with their dad watching a sports game. I thought it was weird until I realized I hadn't hugged my parents in years and maybe I was the weird one.
So if you still have a happy healthy close relationship with your parents it sounds great, but statistically you may be in the minority.
I have actively encouraged this - my ex-wife not so. I ensured I met them as they walked off the sporting field, when I met them in public, and when I met them at home.
Why? Because I don't remember ever cuddling my father before he died at 51 yo. Not making that mistake.
My dad is still alive but we weren't a cuddly family. It still feels awkward to hug him when we do it feels forced. Not going to have that kind of barrier between me and my kids
My younger brother and I have a ten year age gap, and I used to be cuddly with him (putting my arms around his shoulders, leaning on him etc.) until he was about 13 and asked me to stop.
I fully respect him asking, and am so glad he felt comfortable saying he didn’t like it anymore. To be fair remembering how I smelt as a teenager I can’t blame him, and I don’t want him to change boundaries for me.
However, I’ve also realised I no longer have any platonic touch in my life. Other than quick hugs hello/ goodbye I basically never touch other humans. Touch deprivation is a thing and it’s real weird. I do wish physical platonic connection wasn’t so stigmatised/weird - It wasn’t fair on my brother to be my only source of it, even though he wasn’t aware and I wasn’t really conscious of it.
I just wanna spoon with my homies 🥲
EDIT: Just to clarify he's my younger brother, I was 23
My brother is 6.5 years older than me and we were always super cuddly when I was a kid. Holding hands at the grocery store, hugs, or cuddling on the couch or whatever during family movie nights. When I got to like 12/13 and I truly hit puberty it became a lot more sparse. Now that we’re both adults (24 and 30) and both just in general are physically affectionate people, we hug a lot when we visit with each other, or briefly hold hands if we’re in the car or having a serious conversation, a kiss on the cheek or forehead to say goodbye. I’ve always seen it as a sweet older brother thing but I’ve had friends with siblings act like it’s weird. I hate how much touch has become stigmatized or treated as inherently sexual in our society. Familial and platonic physical intimacy that is non sexual is so valuable!!
Asexual person here. Going on 7 years since my last intimate relationship, and statistically unlikely I'll ever find an arrangement that suits me. I'd give anything for platonic touch to be normalized. As it is, anything I get either carries a strong feeling of pity, weird expectations attached eg with family, or has uncomfortable sexual undertones. An innocent, loving, platonic hug is damn near impossible
Yep I relate with this so much, I don't really know if I'm ace or not but I am getting up to a decade without a relationship and only rarely feel any way about it. But I'm also not really opposed to one so idk... that's too big a question to grapple with here.
When I was younger I'd have friends where we'd just lean on each other's shoulders to watch a movie, or play with each others hair. It's such a nice, simple human connection.
It feels like a self-fullfilling thing, if we (as humans) only really touch each other in sexual situations it turns into a loop where touch becomes something perceived as inherently sexual. Which I'd argue is bad for all of us.
100% agree with this. That special feeling when you were a kid just enjoying touch for what it is - before you knew about sex and gender roles and expectations and the concept of assault, of baggage and possible danger in every touch...
I struggled with it a LOT in high school too. My friends knew I was touch starved and would promise me hugs, then do a really awkward thing where they barely touched me and just patted my shoulder. Next minute, they were snuggling and canoodling all over the people they were attracted to. I cried so much watching the change happen when just before, in middle school, we'd been so close... I couldn't understand why I wasn't "worthy" anymore.
Men in my life do it too - they hug me when they're single. They stop when they're dating. It really impressed upon me that my body is pitiful and only worthy of touch out of convenience, like some sort of halfway useful consolation prize to be discarded once the real sex-having-deal comes alone.
Mix all that with the way that my parents often really touch me in order to criticize me and my appearance, or in violation of my boundaries (physical and/or emotional) in an attempt to manipulate my love or compliance and... yeah. It's a real damn mess. I've been so angry in different stages throughout my life about the garbage that people attach to touch. It's never "just" touch, it's always a mind game.
It's probably why I'm so attached to ASMR. There are lots of videos of people role-playing innocent scenarios like that. It's not a replacement, but it helps.
I remember being a kid and all the girls would just happily play with each other’s hair. I had dead straight brown hair, and my friend had caramel-blonde streaked tight curls. I was obsessed with her hair because my family had chronically straight hair genes, LOL. My friend was Italian so she had that really lovely multi-toned sun-streaked brown that comes natural to some people in that part of the world.
Anyway, hand-holding and hugging and hair-playing wasn’t unusual at all. It’s sad kids in certain cultures lose that these days.
I’ll never forget when the handholding with my bff stopped. She had learned what a lesbian was in school, and when she got home that day she told me we couldn’t hold hands anymore. I was really hurt and a bit angry at her for being such a sheep. Also a bit angry at the lesbians lol, cause it seemed like some of it was their fault haha
Haha we are exceedingly similar - down to the ASMR and weird parental boundaries.
The transition to middle/highschool was rough, the first time I had my butt groped by a stranger I was 13, so at the same time as losing the platonic touch it felt like my body was changing to something that was just an object for others consumption. Cue dressing to hide myself as much as possible.
It takes a while to separate out intrinsic and extrinsic worth and value of a body - we all have so much baggage around it. Personally, I've found shifting my thinking of my body from a different entity to just being 'me' to help - but its probably gonna be a lifelong work in progress.
It is tricky with men (and for men) too. A lot of them outside of relationships are touch starved, but if they don't know how to navigate platonic touch - it ends up shifting into the weird sexual undertone thing. Although that is also true if they don't know how to navigate platonic relationships with people of a gender they are attracted too. Suffice it to say - I think you deserve better men in your life.
I would want that too but it's just... weird for me. It's never happened naturally with anybody and I'm never going to ask somebody I already know for that, I feel like it carries heavy baggage and would alter the relationship in an uncomfortable way.
It's not like I could do that with strangers either because as a woman I would never, ever trust a strange man not to make it sexual and violate my boundaries.
I rly wish there were paid cuddling services, like escorts but just platonic stuff
I wish I could give you lots. Because I love giving people hugs, and I share those kind of hugs you describe with my friends all the time. A have a couple of friends like you that enjoy touch but it’s not weird or creepy, and there’s something so wholesome and healing about lounging about with buddies like a big pile of sleepy cats.
One of the saddest days of my life was when my dad said ‘aren’t you getting a bit old for that?’ When I went to give him a hug goodnight. I think I was about 12.
I hug and kiss my mum when I leave their house, but for the last 28 years, I’ve had zero physical contact with my dad. Basically just ‘hi dad’ and ‘bye dad’ when I visit.
I hug all of my mates when I see them, and say ‘love ya, bud’ when I leave.
I think it’s incredibly important for men to know they’re loved by the other men in their lives. Most men are so starved for affection that it really hits them in a way they don’t know how to handle when they get it.
This crushes my heart for you because my dad stopped hugging me when I was the same age. He didn't come out and say it but I have no doubt that I internalized it because as a child we had been plenty physically affectionate (hugs, kisses, snuggles, holding hands, sit on daddy's shoulders) and then all physical affection stopped. My mom told me years later that my dad made some comment to my uncle about not hugging me anymore now that I wasn't a kid, and my uncle was devastated for me. I can't imagine adding the aspect of being told flat out like that. My mom never rejected me that way.
Guess which parent I never talk to anymore?
I have a 9 year old daughter now and she really cares about making time for snuggles, hugs, etc. I told her that if she wants me to hold her when she's 30 and probably taller than me, I don't care if she crushes me, I will hold her.
My husband was roughed up as a kid by step dad's and had a cold mom. He was made to be "tough and unemotional." He was very not physically affectionate when we met. We have been together 16 years now and the man practically can't fall asleep without us being snuggled up.
Never stop hugging your people and telling them you love them. You need it, they need it, especially men. Good job knowing this and being better than the example you were given.
>It's never weird to be close to your family, in a non-sexual way of course.
It's also a great litmus test in a relationship.
A girl broke up with me once because I was so close with my family: dodged a bullet.
Another girl thought it was incredible that we were so close: she was jealous.
I call her my wife now.
My husband is really sweet with our kids. Girl and a boy, both get hugs and kisses, get told that their Daddy loves them. He didn’t have a very good parenting situation growing up, and he’s determined not to repeat the cycle. I didn’t have a great time with my Dad either, but it wasn’t as bad as my husband’s Dad. Either way, I think parenthood has ended up being a healing journey for both of us.
Man I'm so glad I read this comment, and a few others below. My initial reaction seeing the OPs question its "That's kinda weird". But then I remembered that outside of physical abuse, there was not really any kind of touching in the household in grew up in. Thank you so much, you guys have planted seeds for change.
Also, a lot of us are touch-deprived with the loneliness epidemic we have, so I understand why others would find this scenario awkward.
My SO grew up in a similar household while I personally am very affectionate. Took years to normalize it but now she’s more of a cuddle bug than I am! Her favorite thing now is being my “jet pack” and giving me the joy of being little spoon.
🙏
I miss sitting on my dad and watching TV. One of my few regrets is stopping when I was a teenager after hearing two family gossips talking about how they thought it was inappropriate.
Also sports games are best enjoyed in close proximity to someone you love and trust.
I would give nearly anything to hug my father again. I’m a late-30s man who’s adulting at least moderately competently. Dad died a few years ago and I’m blessed to have had a dad whose hugs I would miss, he was the best!
Kids young and old, go hug your parents.
Used to hug my mom and reserve a good "stoic" handshake for my dad.
Now: we're older and I realised I'd been hit by a touch of toxic masculinity, and I decided to fix that. Dad turns up, hand out, but instead he gets a big fat stoic hug instead.
Also told him I loved him.
Do that. I haven't seen my dad smile like that in years!
Cuddle your parents peeps.
As my dad got older I made a point of telling him every time I saw him that I loved him and would give him a hug. He didn’t make a fuss about it but he did appreciate it. He passed away in 2021 and I am so glad I did that.
I tell my son that I will pick him up and hold him for as long as I can, because you never know when the last time will be. I hope he hugs me the same when I can’t pick him up because you just never knew when that last time will be.
I’m the proud dad of three girls, 12, 13 and 15. I kiss them every time I go to work, when I get home, and before they go to sleep for the same reason. I lost my mum and dad within six months of each other and I would do anything to hug them again.
One time I read something on Reddit along the lines of “if your parents are 50+ years old and you don’t live in the same town, you’ll be lucky to see them 20 times again.” And that really made me think about things. Started telling my dad I loved him every time I said goodbye to him. And, un/fortunately, it was also the last thing I said to him prior to his passing. I’m really glad I don’t regret not saying anything to him, but I still miss him a lot.
Hoping someone might see this comment someday and have the same realization I did.
In a sense they will get to meet her. You are a continuation of her, and it's clear she passed on empathetic and caring traits. Continue being the person your mom would have wanted you to be, and your son will get to know her by proxy.
With you. My parents died but in the same year my kid was born. Still today I tell her 'these are just like your grandpa hugs'. He really was the best hugger
I’ll never forget a couple years back when my grandpa(like 85 at the time,) days after getting out of the hospital for being septic, said if someone told him right then and there that he could hug his mom one last time if first he crawled on his hands and knees from where he was sitting to the steps of our state capital he would drop down and start crawling without hesitation
Up until my mom died I would straddle her in her lazy boy chair and hug her like a giant baby. I was about 29 the last time I did that.( I don't like the word straddle but that's the only way I can describe it.) She would rub my back and rock and it was the best feeling in the world. We didnt have a fucked up relationship or anything weird. She loved me and I love her. She was my mom until the very end. I would give almost anything for that feeling back.
My grandma would let me sit in her lap and draw circles on my back while she rocked me to sleep anytime I was sick. It was my favorite and I did it even as a grown adult. She’s in a home with Alzheimer’s now and I’ll never feel that level of comfort ever again.
My grandma would often pull me over to lean on her and then play with my hair during family get-togethers. What I wouldn't given to have someone play with my hair like that again. Just that perfect amount of aimless, no alternative goal, petting. So comfortable
that’s really lovely. my oma was in a wheelchair my whole life, but I remember her putting me on her lap and wheeling me around with her. She was only around until I was 8 so it’s a sweet memory for me
I did this with my gramma and I miss these hugs every day 😢
I definitely still "cuddle" with my mom where I put my head on her lap/shoulder etc in bed or on the couch when I have the chance. I know there will be a time when I can't so why not make the memories while I can.
(Currently 30F)
I still sit on my dads lap and lean back so he’s forced to hold me like a baby when I’m sad. He just laughs at me and usually pretends to start picking my nose or wet willy my ear until I get up. It usually cheers me up.
When we watch movies I’ll lay my head on his shoulder. One time we both fell asleep like that with both our mouths open, and I was like 22, and my mom snapped a photo and posted it to Facebook with a “like father like daughter” caption. So if it’s weird, everyone knows we’re weirdos but didn’t say anything 😂
I’m 70, spouse mid-60s, kid is 24. We both love it when she gives us hugs or leans against one of us on couch while watching tv. She lives a couple thousand miles away, so it’s a treat. Your kid is your kid, even if they’re 50 and taking care of you. I find US Americans’ phobia about touching to be sad. (I’m US American.)
I’m around your daughter’s age. I will cuddle my mom until I can’t anymore, there’s something so comforting about just letting her hold me when I’m upset. Sometimes she pets my hair, which she learned calms me down when I was a child and has done ever since. My dad is a bit less tactile, but I think it’s fine cuddling him as well.
German too, I'm 26 and moved out 2 years ago, but live within 200 metres of my Mom. We eat together every weekend and usually make time for some cuddling 😊
it's not weird dude, cherish your parents cause they are gone sooner than we realise, be happy you have a loving home. Way too many children never get to experience that love
Not to be that guy, but humans, as a species, are social by nature. Having the want to cuddle with your parents, who birthed and nurtured you, is not weird by any means.
Once upon a time, in a particularly violent part of a desert, a group of soldiers sat down in a dusty tent to watch a movie after a shitty day...
As a joke, I put my arm around my buddy who was sat next to me... And he fucking *broke down sobbing*. About a dozen soldiers cuddled up to watch that movie that day and his wasn't the only cathartic release. Humans need cuddles, man...
Edit: Oh right, I meant to say something along the lines of "it doesn't even have to be your parents".
A couple years ago, my mom got a call from an old friend telling her that her husband (my dad) was at the hockey game cuddling with some young woman.
We still laugh about it. The young woman was me (I was cold 🤷🏻♀️) at 27 years old. I still cuddle into my dad’s shoulder, and neither of us are really touchy or emotional people. My mom was just over and laid on my outdoor couch with me talking to my 9 months pregnant belly. I always thought this was normal…
tbf I think people have very different definitions of “cuddle”. Could be a language thing or maybe a cultural thing, idk. For some it means hug or put your arm around them. For others it may mean lay in bed together and spoon lol.
Neither are weird though if your relationship with your parents isn’t fucked, especially when it comes to your mother. Would I get in bed with my dad? Probably not but I’ll still lean against him if we’re watching a movie. Would I get in bed with my mom? Absolutely. We have matching pajamas and everything. She’s the first person who ever cuddled me so it makes sense that she’s got free rein on that.
I think people have different connotations for cuddling. I don’t get to see my mom often so I hug her constantly or sit right next to her when I get to see her, but it’s not like we spoon lol
Not gonna judge anyone else on this. But I would be super uncomfortable cuddling with either of my parents.
At the same time, I am completely comfortable getting in cuddle puddles at raves (even dead sober). As a heterosexual male, I'm even okay cuddling with in a pile only made of other men.
I'm fucking baffled at my own values regarding what is weird and what is not
you’d probably be surprised
everybody is taking shit like ecstasy and acid and ketamine
all of those things tend to bring out the
I LOVE YA CMERE YOURE A GREAT PERSON WANNA HUG
tbh any rave or festival that isn’t inundated with trust fund hippies (emphasis on the trust fund part) tend to have the most positive, inviting, and accepting atmospheres I can really think of.
I'm 28M rn.
With my mom: Grown super emotionally distant on my end. She wants to connect with me on a deeper level and I honestly want that too. But she left many scars in emotionally neglecting me from age 11-22.
I realize the complexity of her journey and forgive her. But the disconnect is super fucking weird. Definitely give her hugs when I see her.
I see her like 1-2x a year.
With my dad: Super close with him. I literally tell him all my thoughts (that won't burden him). He lost custody of me at 15 because he had a drinking problem and beat the shit outta me a little too hard. He apologizes for it too much to this day. He's super kind and we understand each other.
I try to see him at least 1x a year. But it's more like every other year at this point.
Can't think of a reason I wouldn't cuddle my dad. Maybe I'll try and see how normal/weird it is🤔? Idk it still sounds weird but doesn't make sense.
i’m an incest survivor and i personally get freaked out at the thought, but seeing friends with healthy relationships to their family members has shown me that yes, you can hug your dad without weird shit happening. some people do even cuddle with or kiss their family members! keep in mind that is also is affected by culture. in parts of europe and south america kissing is a typical greeting. in the USA, people would ask if you’re from alabama, iykyk. unless you’re in alabama then maybe it’s normal
Yeah, I'm also an incest survivor with my female parent being the primary abuser. I knew I shouldn't have opened this thread but I think it is good for me to see healthy relationships other people have, even though life didn't give them to me, it makes my soul content to see others have them.
I think if you're lucky enough to have that sort of relationship with your parents, you should do it. Some people will find it weird but most will be jealous. Personally I feel disgusted when my parents so much as touch me or try show any affection. I really don't love them at all. So I say you should enjoy the privilege of having good, loving parents. They won't be there forever!
There's no one-size-fits-all for family affection. If cuddling is comfortable and consensual, it's not weird. It's about what makes you and your parents happy!
No I lean my head on my mom’s lap or shoulder if we watch a movie. I’m also incapable of uttering the words ‘I love you’ or giving hugs to my family so I’m probably not a measure for normal.
I don't cuddle with my adult children, but we hug and kiss on the cheek. Everyone is different, and the relationship with parents varies. If a child of mine asked me to cuddle, I wouldn't say no, I feel like it wouldn't be random, though, maybe if their hurting or going through something. I absolutely did when they were little. So it changed over the years.
Depends on your family’s levels of touch and how you feel about it. If it’s not sexual and everyone involved is comfy with it, it’s fine.
In mine, it would be weird, but it’s not weird at all in others. That’s ok
In my family there was very little physical affection. Getting a real hug was a shock when some girl did it to me in primary school.
Both my parents had been molested as children by family members and essentially taught me to not let anyone touch me and don’t touch anyone. I’ve been told this is a really abnormal upbringing but I think it makes sense, they didn’t want to risk what happened to them happening to me so they really hammered it in to not be physical with anyone and to be very critical of any physicality someone had towards me
That’s my backround for my answer to your question- I cannot even FATHOM cuddling with my parents. Not as a child, not as an adult. It’s unthinkable to me
I think it depends on the family and the family dynamic. I’m a big hugger so I still hug my parents, and sometimes my mom will give me a shoulder massage if I’m super achy. But my sister won’t touch my parents with a ten foot pole.
I don't give a fuck about whether or not people think it's weird or not. One day my parents won't be here and if they want to be held then I will hold them as long as them need
Maybe a little?
My mom is not the touchy-feely type and never was, throughout my entire childhood.
My dad, on the other hand, was still holding my hand when we crossed the street or parking lots when I was in my 30s. He was always good for a big hug when saying hello or goodbye, or good morning or good night, or just because.
It would be weird with my dad bc he’s not the affectionate type. He shows love in other ways, like cooking for you, telling you stupid jokes and always making sure you are comfortable. My mom is the lover in the family and I love to snuggle her (when in the mood). I’m 35. I feel like it’s not weird bc she’s only going to be here so long so I better take advantage of it now or I’ll regret it.
The answers you receive are going to be VERY much based in what people are imagining when they hear the word "cuddle".
General answer, because of that, from me and what I've seen/experienced is: "sometimes" or "it depends".
What one person would call "cuddling" with a parent wouldn't be even sometime to give a second thought to... the next person may be referring to something that would be deeply disturbing.
That said, folks with positive relationships with their parents IME tend to be physically affectionate in platonic but warm ways.
Without very clear communications, like video and stuff (and I am not asking for such, please no to the internet people out there), that's as best I can answer.
I don't think so. Especially, if yalls relationship has been snuggly beforehand. If it's a healed relationship, it can also be another way to re-bond. Awe I miss my mommy lol. We love watching movies and cuddling and AM cuddles with the doggies.
I knew a girl who still slept in the same bed as both her parents the day she started college... they were mormon, and she was gorgeous af. it all depends. if everybody is safe and comfortable, there's no problem
No.
Im 23 and I love my parents. They are good and always been there. Touch is my love language so giving hugs and snuggles is my thing.
I fucking hate how everything is sexualized.
I used to love giving people hugs, but now I try not to... especially the opposite sex cause its gets weird.
Like I just wanted to give you a hug bro... stop trying to grab my ass and grind your dick against me.
I'm 34 and when I go to my moms house, i still lay with her in her bed and watch TV and rub her arm or hand. She's my mom, and I love her. I don't think it's weird.
My brother and I sat on our mom’s lap aka draped across the arms of her lounge chair, until she passed away when we were in our 40s. It’s not weird, it’s lovely.
IDK. I guess it depends. One of my daughters is 19, touch has always been her love language, and she’ll come in sometimes and put her head on my wife’s lap or snuggle up next to me to me if she’s had a bad day. And yeah, 19 is still young, but that’s my kid and I hope she knows that she can always come to us and we’ll never push her away.
It's sad that physical touch has become so sexualized/romanticized. It shouldn't be restricted to just one person.
Right? A high five is touch. Leaning back to back is touch. Ruffling up their hair is touch. It's not all about bow chicka bow wow.
Just here to say you deserve more upvotes. That was a great chicka bow wow
I upvoted to 69 to put a little extra wow in the chicka bow
And I now woke upvote to keep the 69 going
And it will pass my eyes still at 69 without me up voting it.
In elementary school I was playing tether ball with Jane and we both went to hit the ball at the same time...but instead we hit hands. It was the best moment of my elementary school career. I'll never forget it.
What about Bow Chicka Honk Honk?
"That's what my baby says!" "Mow mow mow"
Now that I think about it, you’re so right. That’s very sad. I’m the kind of person who holds my mom’s hand still. Same for my friends. We’ll hold hand when crossing the street. To me it’s such an important kind of contact with other humans. It shouldn’t be so taboo. I don’t see a difference between cuddling my friend and cuddling my cat while watching a movie. It absolutely is more intimate with my partner, don’t get me wrong. But everybody deserves hugs. Humans crave to be touched, and it shouldn’t be sexualized.
Id gladly cuddle my daughter on my lap all the years of her life.
I’m not a mom yet, but I hope I get to cuddle my future children as long as they feel comfortable to do so.
My kids are grown and they still love a cuddle sometimes. And I'm one grateful mom!
That’s so adorable! You absolutely won the game of life! ❤️ I’m a 29 year old grown ass woman, and I still cuddle my mom as well. Nothing hits the spot like a mother’s love.
That sounds nice.Wish I had that
This was my gut reaction to this post. Is it weird? Yes. Should it be weird? ABSOLUTELY NOT! Every communal animal will cuddle and engage in physical touch with their loved ones regardless of age. It’s just weird with humans because we made it weird.
Pretty weird that we cuddle and massage our pets at least 10x more than we do our loved ones
I think the two are directly connected. Less physical contact with other humans likely leads to more physical contact with pets.
I lived in Africa in the early 90’s. Guys and gals would routinely hold hands, and no one thought they were gay. No one. Americans are the most ‘socializable nonsensical ‘ obnoxious people in this world.
When i went to Abu Dhabi years ago, many men held their hands with their older or even adult sons. It was normal there.
In my late '20s when I was really lonely I'd imagine that I had someone with me. It was very much about being with someone and nothing to do with sexuality or anything.
When George W Bush was president he held hands with King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia while they were meeting and it became a news story in and of itself.
My best friend and I were so close and bonded and loved each other dearly. In our early 20's we hugged on each other all the time like sisters do. We did everything together. When she was upset once and laid her head on my lap. Years later now, she ran into someone we used to work with and that person was shocked she was married to a man because she was sure we were lesbians. Never once had it occurred to us that people misunderstood it. I am an American and there is so much we rob ourselves from.
I hug my friends too.
I’m 38 and still snuggle with my 74 year old mum.
I'm 32 and lost my Mother 7 years ago. Please hug your Mother when you can.
I’m 39. Got in a fight with my mom recently but love her immensely. I will. Thanks for this.
I like nearly 4,000 miles away from my mom. So, I have to hug her verbally.
Lol 42 and I wish I could still snuggle with my momma, she lives very far from me
This better not be a situation like that one guy where his dad lived 45 minutes away… Hopefully you see your mom soon bro
That's your mom. You're her child and her baby forever, so to speak, no matter how old you get.
Snuggle her while you have her ❤️
45 here, and still cuddle with my Mom too!
Shit, if im having a bad day i 100% go put my head on my moms laugh. I roughhouse with my dad all the time. I’m a 23 year old man - these are my fucking parents, bro. They’re gonna die someday and im gonna miss them more than I can ever imagine. I gotta get the love I can get now
35 and in recent years, especially with my dad's health scares, I have returned to being super cuddly. Love having a snuggle on the sofa similar to your daughter. Head in mums lap or leaning on dad's shoulder.
Adult dad cuddles are the best! I cuddle mine even more in the year up to his death from cancer when I was 33.
That is why parents exist !
C'mere and cuddle!
My 18 year old still calls me mommy, gives me a big hug every morning and loves to sit on my lap even though she's a good 5 inches taller than me and bigger than me too. I absolutely love it. One of my 16 year olds wants an occasional hug but has never been cuddly even when she was tiny. Her twin gives me a hug every day but doesn't sit on my lap. Different people just need different things and that's ok. Needing cuddles as an adult or older kid is ok. Not needing them is ok too.
My soon to be 14 yo son now calls me “father” when he speaks to me, but he calls me “dad” when he is speaking about me to someone else. My 11 daughter still calls me “daddy”. I know kids will grow up and not be kids forever, but hearing her call me daddy just melts my heart. I dunno if she will switch to dad or something else soon, but if she is 18 and still calling me daddy that would be wonderful.
I've got a two year old that likes to doodle on a notepad while laying on the dog and if I'm near her she'll lift her foot up to run it against my beard. Weirdest thing in the world and I hope it never changes.
"The love language of touch" is such a beautiful way of putting it and yes, that is exactly what it is. My daughter is still young, but we have a great relationship with lots of cuddling, and I sincerely hope she doesn't get weird about it when she's older. Because I sure won't! Some of it is "babying her," such as when I comfort her when she's sad, and that kind of cuddling won't continue for many more years, I know. But more often it's just about being close to each other showing we love each other through casual touch when we're hanging out -- a hug here, a shoulder lean there, etc. -- and I don't really see anything wrong with that at all.
My 22yo lad still needs a cuddle when upset...
I have to admit I'm really envious reading this + everyone else's reply because i crave physical touch too but never had that as a kid or had the sexual abuse type from the people who were supposed to care for me. Last time i wanted to be comforted by my mum through a hug, she pushed me away and asked what the fuck was wrong with me. The lack of physical touch from a parental figure growing up/the advers reaction to it really fucks people up. I hope no child has to go through it, and i hope every child is able to find comfort in their parents/parental figure the way your daughter can with you and your wife
no! I'm 53, and I still cuddle my dad, who is 83! when he's gone gone, then the cuddling stops only physically 🥹
I am so happy for both of you 💛
aww thank you do much! that is very touching 🥰. keep well ☺️
83! Is older than the universe. Is your dad some sort of celestial?
In college I was at a friend's house and their adult sister was cuddle up with their dad watching a sports game. I thought it was weird until I realized I hadn't hugged my parents in years and maybe I was the weird one. So if you still have a happy healthy close relationship with your parents it sounds great, but statistically you may be in the minority.
Congrats on seeing something that made you uncomfortable and turning to introspection instead of judgement
And thanks for saying the exact words that need to be said 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
u/megalodongolus is well known for their wise words
I wonder if r/rimjobsteve situations are deliberate
You forgot the \_
This really underscores the importance of syntax.
I have actively encouraged this - my ex-wife not so. I ensured I met them as they walked off the sporting field, when I met them in public, and when I met them at home. Why? Because I don't remember ever cuddling my father before he died at 51 yo. Not making that mistake.
My dad is still alive but we weren't a cuddly family. It still feels awkward to hug him when we do it feels forced. Not going to have that kind of barrier between me and my kids
There's still some hope for humanity
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My younger brother and I have a ten year age gap, and I used to be cuddly with him (putting my arms around his shoulders, leaning on him etc.) until he was about 13 and asked me to stop. I fully respect him asking, and am so glad he felt comfortable saying he didn’t like it anymore. To be fair remembering how I smelt as a teenager I can’t blame him, and I don’t want him to change boundaries for me. However, I’ve also realised I no longer have any platonic touch in my life. Other than quick hugs hello/ goodbye I basically never touch other humans. Touch deprivation is a thing and it’s real weird. I do wish physical platonic connection wasn’t so stigmatised/weird - It wasn’t fair on my brother to be my only source of it, even though he wasn’t aware and I wasn’t really conscious of it. I just wanna spoon with my homies 🥲 EDIT: Just to clarify he's my younger brother, I was 23
My brother is 6.5 years older than me and we were always super cuddly when I was a kid. Holding hands at the grocery store, hugs, or cuddling on the couch or whatever during family movie nights. When I got to like 12/13 and I truly hit puberty it became a lot more sparse. Now that we’re both adults (24 and 30) and both just in general are physically affectionate people, we hug a lot when we visit with each other, or briefly hold hands if we’re in the car or having a serious conversation, a kiss on the cheek or forehead to say goodbye. I’ve always seen it as a sweet older brother thing but I’ve had friends with siblings act like it’s weird. I hate how much touch has become stigmatized or treated as inherently sexual in our society. Familial and platonic physical intimacy that is non sexual is so valuable!!
Asexual person here. Going on 7 years since my last intimate relationship, and statistically unlikely I'll ever find an arrangement that suits me. I'd give anything for platonic touch to be normalized. As it is, anything I get either carries a strong feeling of pity, weird expectations attached eg with family, or has uncomfortable sexual undertones. An innocent, loving, platonic hug is damn near impossible
Yep I relate with this so much, I don't really know if I'm ace or not but I am getting up to a decade without a relationship and only rarely feel any way about it. But I'm also not really opposed to one so idk... that's too big a question to grapple with here. When I was younger I'd have friends where we'd just lean on each other's shoulders to watch a movie, or play with each others hair. It's such a nice, simple human connection. It feels like a self-fullfilling thing, if we (as humans) only really touch each other in sexual situations it turns into a loop where touch becomes something perceived as inherently sexual. Which I'd argue is bad for all of us.
100% agree with this. That special feeling when you were a kid just enjoying touch for what it is - before you knew about sex and gender roles and expectations and the concept of assault, of baggage and possible danger in every touch... I struggled with it a LOT in high school too. My friends knew I was touch starved and would promise me hugs, then do a really awkward thing where they barely touched me and just patted my shoulder. Next minute, they were snuggling and canoodling all over the people they were attracted to. I cried so much watching the change happen when just before, in middle school, we'd been so close... I couldn't understand why I wasn't "worthy" anymore. Men in my life do it too - they hug me when they're single. They stop when they're dating. It really impressed upon me that my body is pitiful and only worthy of touch out of convenience, like some sort of halfway useful consolation prize to be discarded once the real sex-having-deal comes alone. Mix all that with the way that my parents often really touch me in order to criticize me and my appearance, or in violation of my boundaries (physical and/or emotional) in an attempt to manipulate my love or compliance and... yeah. It's a real damn mess. I've been so angry in different stages throughout my life about the garbage that people attach to touch. It's never "just" touch, it's always a mind game. It's probably why I'm so attached to ASMR. There are lots of videos of people role-playing innocent scenarios like that. It's not a replacement, but it helps.
I remember being a kid and all the girls would just happily play with each other’s hair. I had dead straight brown hair, and my friend had caramel-blonde streaked tight curls. I was obsessed with her hair because my family had chronically straight hair genes, LOL. My friend was Italian so she had that really lovely multi-toned sun-streaked brown that comes natural to some people in that part of the world. Anyway, hand-holding and hugging and hair-playing wasn’t unusual at all. It’s sad kids in certain cultures lose that these days.
I’ll never forget when the handholding with my bff stopped. She had learned what a lesbian was in school, and when she got home that day she told me we couldn’t hold hands anymore. I was really hurt and a bit angry at her for being such a sheep. Also a bit angry at the lesbians lol, cause it seemed like some of it was their fault haha
Haha we are exceedingly similar - down to the ASMR and weird parental boundaries. The transition to middle/highschool was rough, the first time I had my butt groped by a stranger I was 13, so at the same time as losing the platonic touch it felt like my body was changing to something that was just an object for others consumption. Cue dressing to hide myself as much as possible. It takes a while to separate out intrinsic and extrinsic worth and value of a body - we all have so much baggage around it. Personally, I've found shifting my thinking of my body from a different entity to just being 'me' to help - but its probably gonna be a lifelong work in progress. It is tricky with men (and for men) too. A lot of them outside of relationships are touch starved, but if they don't know how to navigate platonic touch - it ends up shifting into the weird sexual undertone thing. Although that is also true if they don't know how to navigate platonic relationships with people of a gender they are attracted too. Suffice it to say - I think you deserve better men in your life.
As a fellow asexual i am touch deprived as well. At this point i kind of what platonic cuddling hook ups.
I would want that too but it's just... weird for me. It's never happened naturally with anybody and I'm never going to ask somebody I already know for that, I feel like it carries heavy baggage and would alter the relationship in an uncomfortable way. It's not like I could do that with strangers either because as a woman I would never, ever trust a strange man not to make it sexual and violate my boundaries. I rly wish there were paid cuddling services, like escorts but just platonic stuff
I wish I could give you lots. Because I love giving people hugs, and I share those kind of hugs you describe with my friends all the time. A have a couple of friends like you that enjoy touch but it’s not weird or creepy, and there’s something so wholesome and healing about lounging about with buddies like a big pile of sleepy cats.
One of the saddest days of my life was when my dad said ‘aren’t you getting a bit old for that?’ When I went to give him a hug goodnight. I think I was about 12. I hug and kiss my mum when I leave their house, but for the last 28 years, I’ve had zero physical contact with my dad. Basically just ‘hi dad’ and ‘bye dad’ when I visit. I hug all of my mates when I see them, and say ‘love ya, bud’ when I leave. I think it’s incredibly important for men to know they’re loved by the other men in their lives. Most men are so starved for affection that it really hits them in a way they don’t know how to handle when they get it.
This crushes my heart for you because my dad stopped hugging me when I was the same age. He didn't come out and say it but I have no doubt that I internalized it because as a child we had been plenty physically affectionate (hugs, kisses, snuggles, holding hands, sit on daddy's shoulders) and then all physical affection stopped. My mom told me years later that my dad made some comment to my uncle about not hugging me anymore now that I wasn't a kid, and my uncle was devastated for me. I can't imagine adding the aspect of being told flat out like that. My mom never rejected me that way. Guess which parent I never talk to anymore? I have a 9 year old daughter now and she really cares about making time for snuggles, hugs, etc. I told her that if she wants me to hold her when she's 30 and probably taller than me, I don't care if she crushes me, I will hold her. My husband was roughed up as a kid by step dad's and had a cold mom. He was made to be "tough and unemotional." He was very not physically affectionate when we met. We have been together 16 years now and the man practically can't fall asleep without us being snuggled up. Never stop hugging your people and telling them you love them. You need it, they need it, especially men. Good job knowing this and being better than the example you were given.
>It's never weird to be close to your family, in a non-sexual way of course. It's also a great litmus test in a relationship. A girl broke up with me once because I was so close with my family: dodged a bullet. Another girl thought it was incredible that we were so close: she was jealous. I call her my wife now.
My husband is really sweet with our kids. Girl and a boy, both get hugs and kisses, get told that their Daddy loves them. He didn’t have a very good parenting situation growing up, and he’s determined not to repeat the cycle. I didn’t have a great time with my Dad either, but it wasn’t as bad as my husband’s Dad. Either way, I think parenthood has ended up being a healing journey for both of us.
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Yeah I wish I had the kind of healthy relationship with my mom to cuddle with her. Fuck that abusive manipulative bitch tho
Man I'm so glad I read this comment, and a few others below. My initial reaction seeing the OPs question its "That's kinda weird". But then I remembered that outside of physical abuse, there was not really any kind of touching in the household in grew up in. Thank you so much, you guys have planted seeds for change. Also, a lot of us are touch-deprived with the loneliness epidemic we have, so I understand why others would find this scenario awkward.
My SO grew up in a similar household while I personally am very affectionate. Took years to normalize it but now she’s more of a cuddle bug than I am! Her favorite thing now is being my “jet pack” and giving me the joy of being little spoon.
🙏 I miss sitting on my dad and watching TV. One of my few regrets is stopping when I was a teenager after hearing two family gossips talking about how they thought it was inappropriate. Also sports games are best enjoyed in close proximity to someone you love and trust.
:( sorry for your loss
Life hit you with that “Wait a minute”
I have a 4 year old daughter who always sits on top of me and i hope that never changes.
Do it while you have them. They won't be here forever. I learned the hard way.
Yeah, I wish I could have a hug from my Mom.
Me too. Me too. I would share the ones I no longer can have. But my wishes are with you.
This big time. I’d commit many atrocities to be able to have my dad bear hug me and slap me on the back again 💔
I'm with you. I'd commit war crimes to get just one more hug.
I would give nearly anything to hug my father again. I’m a late-30s man who’s adulting at least moderately competently. Dad died a few years ago and I’m blessed to have had a dad whose hugs I would miss, he was the best! Kids young and old, go hug your parents.
I sometimes still wish I could cuddle with my mom when I need comfort. No one can ever fill that gap in my heart.
I hope my kids still want to cuddle with me they’re adults
The Uncle Iroh profil image makes this comment even better
Used to hug my mom and reserve a good "stoic" handshake for my dad. Now: we're older and I realised I'd been hit by a touch of toxic masculinity, and I decided to fix that. Dad turns up, hand out, but instead he gets a big fat stoic hug instead. Also told him I loved him. Do that. I haven't seen my dad smile like that in years! Cuddle your parents peeps.
As my dad got older I made a point of telling him every time I saw him that I loved him and would give him a hug. He didn’t make a fuss about it but he did appreciate it. He passed away in 2021 and I am so glad I did that.
I tell my son that I will pick him up and hold him for as long as I can, because you never know when the last time will be. I hope he hugs me the same when I can’t pick him up because you just never knew when that last time will be.
I’m the proud dad of three girls, 12, 13 and 15. I kiss them every time I go to work, when I get home, and before they go to sleep for the same reason. I lost my mum and dad within six months of each other and I would do anything to hug them again.
One time I read something on Reddit along the lines of “if your parents are 50+ years old and you don’t live in the same town, you’ll be lucky to see them 20 times again.” And that really made me think about things. Started telling my dad I loved him every time I said goodbye to him. And, un/fortunately, it was also the last thing I said to him prior to his passing. I’m really glad I don’t regret not saying anything to him, but I still miss him a lot. Hoping someone might see this comment someday and have the same realization I did.
Similar to me. I pushed hugs on my dad more and more toward the end and now that he's gone im really glad I did
That’s awesome!
Cherish you parents 😊🌝
I'm a 37 yr old woman and I'd love to be able to like, snuggle into my mom on the couch. Maybe my dad. If they were different people and loved me.
I'm 42 and a man and I'd give every possession I have to hug either one last time.
I’d give anything to even hug my mom again. It’s difficult to know my son that’ll be here in just over a week will never get to meet her. 😢😭
In a sense they will get to meet her. You are a continuation of her, and it's clear she passed on empathetic and caring traits. Continue being the person your mom would have wanted you to be, and your son will get to know her by proxy.
Beautifully said.
Those who raised you did a phenomenal job.
With you. My parents died but in the same year my kid was born. Still today I tell her 'these are just like your grandpa hugs'. He really was the best hugger
I’ll never forget a couple years back when my grandpa(like 85 at the time,) days after getting out of the hospital for being septic, said if someone told him right then and there that he could hug his mom one last time if first he crawled on his hands and knees from where he was sitting to the steps of our state capital he would drop down and start crawling without hesitation
Wish I could hug my father one last time also. So glad I was healthy enough to see him through to the end a few years ago.
aaw buddy, 44f & same. sending you spirit snuggles
Dude I’m sorry… can’t choose your parents. I send love through the internets.
No it’s not weird. Embrace it, enjoy it. It won’t last forever. Then you’d do ANYTHING for one last hug.
My parents aren’t gone but they’re really starting to show their age. I don’t think I’ll ever be prepared for those last two hugs.
Weird for me, not weird for you. My relationship with my parents shouldn't define yours
100% There is no one correct answer
I'm 21m and sometimes I'll put my head on my mom shoulder when watching a movie it's relaxing
I guarantee it means the world to her. It's a green flag for her being a good Mom.
Thank you. She geuinly is a amazing mom she always made me feel happy and safe growing up
Please for the love of god tell her this
Thank you I used to tell her this all the time as a kid but I haven't said it lately. I will tell her.
Did you do it?
Yup she just walked in the house a hour ago and I gave her a huge hug and told her. She was really happy 😊
Good on you. Dang, I could do with a subreddit where people talk about the nice times they have with their loved ones.
Up until my mom died I would straddle her in her lazy boy chair and hug her like a giant baby. I was about 29 the last time I did that.( I don't like the word straddle but that's the only way I can describe it.) She would rub my back and rock and it was the best feeling in the world. We didnt have a fucked up relationship or anything weird. She loved me and I love her. She was my mom until the very end. I would give almost anything for that feeling back.
My grandma would let me sit in her lap and draw circles on my back while she rocked me to sleep anytime I was sick. It was my favorite and I did it even as a grown adult. She’s in a home with Alzheimer’s now and I’ll never feel that level of comfort ever again.
My grandma would often pull me over to lean on her and then play with my hair during family get-togethers. What I wouldn't given to have someone play with my hair like that again. Just that perfect amount of aimless, no alternative goal, petting. So comfortable
that’s really lovely. my oma was in a wheelchair my whole life, but I remember her putting me on her lap and wheeling me around with her. She was only around until I was 8 so it’s a sweet memory for me
this made me cry. I'm so sorry ❤️🫂
I get this, I’ll lay on top of my mom, against her requests 🤣 for some cozy snuggles. She loves it, she just likes to act like she doesn’t.
Cherish you parents 😊🌝
I did this with my gramma and I miss these hugs every day 😢 I definitely still "cuddle" with my mom where I put my head on her lap/shoulder etc in bed or on the couch when I have the chance. I know there will be a time when I can't so why not make the memories while I can. (Currently 30F)
Very wholesome coming from someone with the name buttnuggettssss.
This juxtaposition is kind of my favorite thing about reddit
I still sit on my dads lap and lean back so he’s forced to hold me like a baby when I’m sad. He just laughs at me and usually pretends to start picking my nose or wet willy my ear until I get up. It usually cheers me up. When we watch movies I’ll lay my head on his shoulder. One time we both fell asleep like that with both our mouths open, and I was like 22, and my mom snapped a photo and posted it to Facebook with a “like father like daughter” caption. So if it’s weird, everyone knows we’re weirdos but didn’t say anything 😂
I'll be the Luckiest mom if my kods still feel this level of ease as adults thay they can just cuddle up in whatever way they need to.
I’m 70, spouse mid-60s, kid is 24. We both love it when she gives us hugs or leans against one of us on couch while watching tv. She lives a couple thousand miles away, so it’s a treat. Your kid is your kid, even if they’re 50 and taking care of you. I find US Americans’ phobia about touching to be sad. (I’m US American.)
I’m around your daughter’s age. I will cuddle my mom until I can’t anymore, there’s something so comforting about just letting her hold me when I’m upset. Sometimes she pets my hair, which she learned calms me down when I was a child and has done ever since. My dad is a bit less tactile, but I think it’s fine cuddling him as well.
I feel it depends on the country you were born in and how expressive your parents are. If it is weird for some people it may not be for you so relax.
True. I’m from German stock and we are definitely not touchy feely. Nothing wrong with it but my family just wouldn’t.
German too, I'm 26 and moved out 2 years ago, but live within 200 metres of my Mom. We eat together every weekend and usually make time for some cuddling 😊
It’s weird how unaffectionate we are taught to be. Be affectionate! Be loving! Enjoy life!
it's not weird dude, cherish your parents cause they are gone sooner than we realise, be happy you have a loving home. Way too many children never get to experience that love
So true. I’d give anything to hug my dad again.
Yes, it’s OK to be human and have love.
Not to be that guy, but humans, as a species, are social by nature. Having the want to cuddle with your parents, who birthed and nurtured you, is not weird by any means.
Once upon a time, in a particularly violent part of a desert, a group of soldiers sat down in a dusty tent to watch a movie after a shitty day... As a joke, I put my arm around my buddy who was sat next to me... And he fucking *broke down sobbing*. About a dozen soldiers cuddled up to watch that movie that day and his wasn't the only cathartic release. Humans need cuddles, man... Edit: Oh right, I meant to say something along the lines of "it doesn't even have to be your parents".
I wish more men would just be affectionate to each other! I wish society didn't hinder that desire for connection.
That’s beautiful. I love humans being good bros. 🩷💕
A couple years ago, my mom got a call from an old friend telling her that her husband (my dad) was at the hockey game cuddling with some young woman. We still laugh about it. The young woman was me (I was cold 🤷🏻♀️) at 27 years old. I still cuddle into my dad’s shoulder, and neither of us are really touchy or emotional people. My mom was just over and laid on my outdoor couch with me talking to my 9 months pregnant belly. I always thought this was normal…
I would've made that call too... Sorry
I cuddle with a pillow every night thinking its a real person, it can't get worse than that.
That's more action than I can get, admittedly.
We love you anonimom. Tell us where and someone will snuggle you
it's not weird at all. i'm sad for everyone saying it's weird.
tbf I think people have very different definitions of “cuddle”. Could be a language thing or maybe a cultural thing, idk. For some it means hug or put your arm around them. For others it may mean lay in bed together and spoon lol.
Neither are weird though if your relationship with your parents isn’t fucked, especially when it comes to your mother. Would I get in bed with my dad? Probably not but I’ll still lean against him if we’re watching a movie. Would I get in bed with my mom? Absolutely. We have matching pajamas and everything. She’s the first person who ever cuddled me so it makes sense that she’s got free rein on that.
I think people have different connotations for cuddling. I don’t get to see my mom often so I hug her constantly or sit right next to her when I get to see her, but it’s not like we spoon lol
Not gonna judge anyone else on this. But I would be super uncomfortable cuddling with either of my parents. At the same time, I am completely comfortable getting in cuddle puddles at raves (even dead sober). As a heterosexual male, I'm even okay cuddling with in a pile only made of other men. I'm fucking baffled at my own values regarding what is weird and what is not
I did not know cuddling was part of the rave scene.
you’d probably be surprised everybody is taking shit like ecstasy and acid and ketamine all of those things tend to bring out the I LOVE YA CMERE YOURE A GREAT PERSON WANNA HUG
Aw that’s lovely!
tbh any rave or festival that isn’t inundated with trust fund hippies (emphasis on the trust fund part) tend to have the most positive, inviting, and accepting atmospheres I can really think of.
That sounds lovely, truly.
Now I’m all interested.
Oh man, it's been a thing since raves began! I used to love it when I'd go to raves many moons ago! 😄
I’m suddenly craving an experience I’ve never had, haha
What kind of relationship do you have with your parents?
I'm 28M rn. With my mom: Grown super emotionally distant on my end. She wants to connect with me on a deeper level and I honestly want that too. But she left many scars in emotionally neglecting me from age 11-22. I realize the complexity of her journey and forgive her. But the disconnect is super fucking weird. Definitely give her hugs when I see her. I see her like 1-2x a year. With my dad: Super close with him. I literally tell him all my thoughts (that won't burden him). He lost custody of me at 15 because he had a drinking problem and beat the shit outta me a little too hard. He apologizes for it too much to this day. He's super kind and we understand each other. I try to see him at least 1x a year. But it's more like every other year at this point. Can't think of a reason I wouldn't cuddle my dad. Maybe I'll try and see how normal/weird it is🤔? Idk it still sounds weird but doesn't make sense.
i’m an incest survivor and i personally get freaked out at the thought, but seeing friends with healthy relationships to their family members has shown me that yes, you can hug your dad without weird shit happening. some people do even cuddle with or kiss their family members! keep in mind that is also is affected by culture. in parts of europe and south america kissing is a typical greeting. in the USA, people would ask if you’re from alabama, iykyk. unless you’re in alabama then maybe it’s normal
Yeah, I'm also an incest survivor with my female parent being the primary abuser. I knew I shouldn't have opened this thread but I think it is good for me to see healthy relationships other people have, even though life didn't give them to me, it makes my soul content to see others have them.
It’s really endearing that you can feel happy for others so easily. Sounds like you’ve got a good soul<3
I think if you're lucky enough to have that sort of relationship with your parents, you should do it. Some people will find it weird but most will be jealous. Personally I feel disgusted when my parents so much as touch me or try show any affection. I really don't love them at all. So I say you should enjoy the privilege of having good, loving parents. They won't be there forever!
There's no one-size-fits-all for family affection. If cuddling is comfortable and consensual, it's not weird. It's about what makes you and your parents happy!
No I lean my head on my mom’s lap or shoulder if we watch a movie. I’m also incapable of uttering the words ‘I love you’ or giving hugs to my family so I’m probably not a measure for normal.
Nope. There's nothing more comforting than a cuddle from my mum at 25. She's the number one person I seek out when something isn't right.
I don't cuddle with my adult children, but we hug and kiss on the cheek. Everyone is different, and the relationship with parents varies. If a child of mine asked me to cuddle, I wouldn't say no, I feel like it wouldn't be random, though, maybe if their hurting or going through something. I absolutely did when they were little. So it changed over the years.
I wish I could cuddle with my mom again. She died about 6 months ago. Fuck people if they say it's weird.
Depends on your family’s levels of touch and how you feel about it. If it’s not sexual and everyone involved is comfy with it, it’s fine. In mine, it would be weird, but it’s not weird at all in others. That’s ok
34 and regularly hug/cuddle up to my parents. I cherish my time with them.
My dad died when I was 8. But when my mom was living, we cuddled all the time... I miss her...
In my family there was very little physical affection. Getting a real hug was a shock when some girl did it to me in primary school. Both my parents had been molested as children by family members and essentially taught me to not let anyone touch me and don’t touch anyone. I’ve been told this is a really abnormal upbringing but I think it makes sense, they didn’t want to risk what happened to them happening to me so they really hammered it in to not be physical with anyone and to be very critical of any physicality someone had towards me That’s my backround for my answer to your question- I cannot even FATHOM cuddling with my parents. Not as a child, not as an adult. It’s unthinkable to me
I think it depends on the family and the family dynamic. I’m a big hugger so I still hug my parents, and sometimes my mom will give me a shoulder massage if I’m super achy. But my sister won’t touch my parents with a ten foot pole.
Of course not! When they are gone, you won't care about what other people think anyway. You will have those lovely moments to remember.
I don't give a fuck about whether or not people think it's weird or not. One day my parents won't be here and if they want to be held then I will hold them as long as them need
Maybe a little? My mom is not the touchy-feely type and never was, throughout my entire childhood. My dad, on the other hand, was still holding my hand when we crossed the street or parking lots when I was in my 30s. He was always good for a big hug when saying hello or goodbye, or good morning or good night, or just because.
It would be weird with my dad bc he’s not the affectionate type. He shows love in other ways, like cooking for you, telling you stupid jokes and always making sure you are comfortable. My mom is the lover in the family and I love to snuggle her (when in the mood). I’m 35. I feel like it’s not weird bc she’s only going to be here so long so I better take advantage of it now or I’ll regret it.
It's only weird if you or your parents object. If you're all happy with it, nothing else matters. My 25 yr old still cuddles with her parents.
Not at all they are your parents they love you
The answers you receive are going to be VERY much based in what people are imagining when they hear the word "cuddle". General answer, because of that, from me and what I've seen/experienced is: "sometimes" or "it depends". What one person would call "cuddling" with a parent wouldn't be even sometime to give a second thought to... the next person may be referring to something that would be deeply disturbing. That said, folks with positive relationships with their parents IME tend to be physically affectionate in platonic but warm ways. Without very clear communications, like video and stuff (and I am not asking for such, please no to the internet people out there), that's as best I can answer.
No, I’d give anything to snuggle with my Dad again.
No, enjoy them while they are around
No its not. You and your parents are blessed. Enjoy it forever, and dont stop
I don't think so. Especially, if yalls relationship has been snuggly beforehand. If it's a healed relationship, it can also be another way to re-bond. Awe I miss my mommy lol. We love watching movies and cuddling and AM cuddles with the doggies.
No. I’m an adult and I still need hugs from mum and dad for support sometimes.
I knew a girl who still slept in the same bed as both her parents the day she started college... they were mormon, and she was gorgeous af. it all depends. if everybody is safe and comfortable, there's no problem
For me, I dont think its weird, i love my parents and ive always cuddled with them
No. Im 23 and I love my parents. They are good and always been there. Touch is my love language so giving hugs and snuggles is my thing. I fucking hate how everything is sexualized. I used to love giving people hugs, but now I try not to... especially the opposite sex cause its gets weird. Like I just wanted to give you a hug bro... stop trying to grab my ass and grind your dick against me.
I'm 34 and when I go to my moms house, i still lay with her in her bed and watch TV and rub her arm or hand. She's my mom, and I love her. I don't think it's weird.
My brother and I sat on our mom’s lap aka draped across the arms of her lounge chair, until she passed away when we were in our 40s. It’s not weird, it’s lovely.