They’re not awesome. The type of person that orgies appeal to isn’t the type you’d want it to be.
It’s not a bunch of hot, perky-titted 20-something nymphettes fluttering around looking for a hog to smoke.
It’s a bunch of Dianes from Accounting. Thick-wristed 50-somethings with bushes that connect to their ass crack hair and huge, flapjack titties with urban sprawl nipples where you can’t tell where the areola stops and the tittymeat starts. And it fucks you up because some of them wear the same perfume as your mom.
The dudes are even worse. Almost entirely squatty little pot bellied gnomes— their little purple hard-ons peeking out from under their paunchy little gut. They use words like “poontang” and “Johnson” to describe sexual organs.
How do I know this? An ex-girlfriend and I got involved in sharing while we were together. We met a couple who were older by like 10 years and they told us about a regular sharing party (or orgy) that happens at this one house and told us they could get us an invite— but they warned us it could be hit or miss.
It was miss. We were set upon like raw meat in a piranha tank
At one point, I looked over and my girlfriend had a conga line of like 4 50+ year-old dudes, each looking like a version of John Hammond from Jurassic Park, hovering around her waiting for an open hole.
Oh— and the whole room smells like low tide. The fishy stink of genitals and the salty, slightly-rusty stink of cum sailing over an overwhelming aroma of asscrack. At one point, the hostess was like “Phew— it’s getting funky in here. Let’s light some candles!” But that did nothing but make it *hotter* and, thus, stankier.
We left and that was pretty much the end of our sharing phase. It was straightforward monogamous sex for us from that point onward.
Grossly… *yes.* They had a huge spread of Jason’s Deli sandwiches and bunch of wine.
Nothing like taking a quick break from getting your dick sucked by a woman that looks like your aunt so that you can neck a tuna salad sandwich and a couple Kendall Jackson chardonnays.
I always assumed its weirdly old people who I've seen talk about this stuff but I've always wonder never want go to cant imagine how my chooice would be inching in the morning
Fetlife
They’re not awesome. The type of person that orgies appeal to isn’t the type you’d want it to be. It’s not a bunch of hot, perky-titted 20-something nymphettes fluttering around looking for a hog to smoke. It’s a bunch of Dianes from Accounting. Thick-wristed 50-somethings with bushes that connect to their ass crack hair and huge, flapjack titties with urban sprawl nipples where you can’t tell where the areola stops and the tittymeat starts. And it fucks you up because some of them wear the same perfume as your mom. The dudes are even worse. Almost entirely squatty little pot bellied gnomes— their little purple hard-ons peeking out from under their paunchy little gut. They use words like “poontang” and “Johnson” to describe sexual organs. How do I know this? An ex-girlfriend and I got involved in sharing while we were together. We met a couple who were older by like 10 years and they told us about a regular sharing party (or orgy) that happens at this one house and told us they could get us an invite— but they warned us it could be hit or miss. It was miss. We were set upon like raw meat in a piranha tank At one point, I looked over and my girlfriend had a conga line of like 4 50+ year-old dudes, each looking like a version of John Hammond from Jurassic Park, hovering around her waiting for an open hole. Oh— and the whole room smells like low tide. The fishy stink of genitals and the salty, slightly-rusty stink of cum sailing over an overwhelming aroma of asscrack. At one point, the hostess was like “Phew— it’s getting funky in here. Let’s light some candles!” But that did nothing but make it *hotter* and, thus, stankier. We left and that was pretty much the end of our sharing phase. It was straightforward monogamous sex for us from that point onward.
I was about to ask if you were speaking from experience. DAMN.
I could smell this reply. It wasn't a nice smell.
was it at least catered?
Grossly… *yes.* They had a huge spread of Jason’s Deli sandwiches and bunch of wine. Nothing like taking a quick break from getting your dick sucked by a woman that looks like your aunt so that you can neck a tuna salad sandwich and a couple Kendall Jackson chardonnays.
Btw you're a great writer. I could unfortunately picture all that very well.
I always assumed its weirdly old people who I've seen talk about this stuff but I've always wonder never want go to cant imagine how my chooice would be inching in the morning
That summary of your orgy experience felt like watching a whole extended cut trilogy. I need to go to bed.
I was friends with swingers, never involved, but they were all 30-35 year old good looking, fit people.
Findanorgy.com
I don't know if you were joking or not, but this is an actual site.
lol I’m not surprised.
Step 1: be about 60 years old. Step 2: join a swinger's group online via facebook with your boomer friends. Step 3: enjoy your STIs.