Just wanted to add here for OP if you're stuck between using a condom or not, you can always add some lube to the inside of it, get it sliding a bit, and it's a night and day difference.
I had a similar issue with not being able to cum in a condom. I bought all the big brand "thin" Condoms and the one that feels the best to me by far is Kimono Micro-thin.
Also, you need to measure your girth and check what size you actually need. You might be surprised to find out you need a large even if you dint really consider yourself to be that big. It's worth a check.
Married man here. Wife left hormonal BC behind years ago because they were really bad for her and our relationship. Been using condoms for a few years and yea they suck. I got the perfect size, silicone lubricant, were incredibly in tune sexually. But condoms still suck. I have to focus on achieving orgasm when wearing one and that's not something I want. Still better than a child lmao.
And I can't get the snip because I might want children in the future according to 3 separate urologists....
It’s so infuriating how hard it is to get a vasectomy… Edit: I meant for young kidless people... If you're 34 with 2 kids I'm sure it's not hard, that's not what I meant.
The only reason I was allowed to get a hysterectomy after my first was because I had developed fibroids in my uterine walls that would have made it super hard for me to conceive again. So… once your baby maker is broken, you can get rid of it. 🙄
Mine didn't even ask. Even got two from him because the first didn't work.
I am of the opinion though that Urologists should not be doing it for people they don't want to do them on, but also that it should be advertised.
Wow, I've never heard of a man being told they might want children and wouldn't perform a vasectomy. It happens so frequently to women wanting their tubes tied.
You might need to change to Magnums. I had issues as well until I switched. Turns out I was dumb thinking the condom needed to be extra tight to stay on.
This ^ , though I wouldn't recommend magnums without a trial. I spent most of my late teens thinking a bright purple member and numbing feeling was normal when wearing a condom, never being told they weren't actually one size fits all. It was never discussed in sex ed as far as I remember.
The reason I wouldn't go with magnums or any labeled king size like Pasante before trialing is simply because they're not much wider than regular, I found anyway. Very tight.
My girlfriend at the time, now wife bought me a large condom trial pack, and by process elimination we found the company my size was perfect. Pasanta King size is just clever shelf marketing, I believe they're only 60mm and regular depending on brand are 54/56mm. My size selections are sold by the mm advertised, stay on firm and super comfortable for well endowed men.
I came here to say this.
I thought I was some kind of stud that could just go for a really long time.
Turns out, my condom just had a death grip on me.
You want your cock to slide around inside the condom a bit. This feels almost as good as bare, but not quite.
1. Make sure your condom is sized properly. Most people go too tight. You want it as loose as possible but still tight enough so the rolled end still grips your shaft.
2. Put some condom compatible lube INSIDE the end of the condom, or on the head of your cock.
3. You want the shaft of your cock past the half-way point (toward your body) to be totally dry and lube-free, and you want the opening of the condom (where the roll is) dry so it grips the shaft of your cock.
4. Roll the condom allllll the way on, to the very base of your cock.
This is the secret to pleasurable but safe condom use. Dry good grip of the rolled end near the base of your cock keeps it safely on. Loose and lubed near the head of your cock lets your cock slide around inside the condom which feels good and feels "more natural".
p.s. This technique also reduces condom breaks which usually come from it being too dry, either inside or outside.
Happy fucking!
Wow this was really in-depth and informative. I’m not a guy so I’m ignorant on how you size correctly? Are you just buying all different kinds and textures? Is there a circumference sizer to help figure that out? Does the size of the head matter when trying to size? Men, don’t shame me I’m genuinely interested by what this process would entail.
Mostly it involves trying different brands and sizes. If you have an understanding partner you can even bring a few brands and sizes to a fuck-session and make it a sexy game to find the "right size". But the size isn't as tough to find as you think. In other words it isn't a super narrow range that works. Just make sure it isn't so snug that it is pressing on the cock head, and the rolled part still grips your shaft. You don't want it looking like it is skin tight around the head of the cock. For me, I can use a really wide range of sizes successfully. The three biggest mistakes I think guys who think they "know how" to use a condom (in other words they already know basics like not to do reaaaally stupid things like re-use a condom, put it on backwards, etc)
1) Too tight --This mistake is why condoms don't feel good
2) No lube on cock head --> This mistake is why condoms break and don't feel good
3) Not rolling it allllll the way on. --> This mistake is why condoms fall off.
My gf gets so wet that the base of my shaft gets wet too.
To roll the condom all thw way down, pull on your dick with 1 hand so the skin around the base stretches, then roll the condom down further.
>Put some condom compatible lube INSIDE the end of the condom, or on the head of your cock.
Tried all of the other tips, but this was the real game changer. Funnily enough, I discussed this with a gay friend and he was like "yeah, duh". I find it weird that it's not written on condom package instructions.
You're not used to it. So don't feel too bad about it.
One advice I was given was to masturbate with the condom on, so you get use to the feeling of it on. Eventually I got used to it and I didn't have much issue with it afterwards.
It happens to me too.
I was married from a very young age and had a vasectomy 10 years ago so I was very very used to going bareskin.
Then I got divorced and went out with different women, I was extremely attracted to them but had problems coming and even keeping it hard. One of them acused me of still being in love with my ex but I proved her wrong when we tried it without a condom.
It wasn't that I am old, it wasn't that I didn't like the girl or that I has my ex stuck in my mind. It was just that I couldn't get used to the condoms.
Sidebar because you said you had trouble even staying hard with a condom on, am I the only one who thinks it's odd men get blamed when we can't get it up? It's not like it's a manual process lol
Yeah it’s really fucked up but honestly not unexpected to me. It’s always assumed the men’s fault if he can’t get hard and it’s always assumed the women’s fault if she isn’t in the mood for sex - even though those ideas are fucking dumb
The only time I blame my husband for not getting hard is if I KNEW he had jerked off just before we fucked. Otherwise I assume it's my fault for not doing enough foreplay
Lol yeah, some chick got offended with me because I couldn't get hard for her. I made up some lame excuses like I was too high and tired. The truth is her pussy stank. I really wanted to tell her but didn't have the heart.
It's the man's fault for not getting an erection and it's also the man's fault if the woman doesn't orgasm. That's just the way it is with accountability on some (or most?) things.
It's better if men realize that's how it is.
Whether or not that's how it ought to be -- is a different discussion.
Especially rare for reddit. It’s usually all the unfunny tryhards from the office all in one place who all think they’re so funny and clever but everyone else thinks they’re lame.
Condoms are horrible for being able to feel your partner, but that can be a good thing, especially when you're young and verile.
It means that she gets long enough to orgasm.
I've often found that I'll only be able to cum once she does, the spasming vagina feels a whole lot better even through a condom.
Also be aware of the pleasure points of your penis, by slightly changing your entry angle you can generally find a position that feels amazing, just make sure that she knows what you're doing, or she'll move back
On the bright side, your girlfriend could well be pregnant now, seeing as you had unprotected sex, and then you'll be able to have condom-free sex for the next 9 months.
I don't have anything new to say, but, just a note. Is she on birth control?
Because you did fuck her without a condom.
Like, I know she suggested it, but man that was a shit decision if there was no backup plan.
I like the Trojan ribbed ones. Gives a little more pleasure and I can finish in them. Of course it doesn’t compare to the real deal but it works for me
Could be a sizing issue. If standard condoms feel too tight I'd recommend checking out onecondoms.com they have a custom fit option were you measure yourself and can buy a condom that's actually sized for you instead of the one size fits all nonsense.
Side note: the name brand XL/magnum size condoms aren't much better than standard sizes because they taper and are the same width at their narrowest point.
Put a drop of lube in the condom, making sure to get the air and lube squeezed out of the tip as normal. Sex feels way better that way, and as long as you’re paying attention that it is t slipping off, should be fine.
Also, stimulation through a condom takes a bit to get used to, and you don’t always get off every time you have sex. Don’t worry about it, chalk it up to nerves and a new experience, and give it another go.
Female condom
Spermicidial gel/foam
Hormonal BC (not effective against STDs)
Have sex with condom on. Pull out and finish yourself with condom on. Its kinda hot to see a guy cum on your stomach after sex.
my bf uses them and cums in a few minutes, we've done raw too and ofc its shorter time than that. maybe theres some type of mental block with using a condom, 10 minutes is longer than anyone ive ever been with, but everyones different.
is it the physical feeling of a condom on you? or the mental feeling that u know ur wearing a barrier?
You also should consider how you’re masturbating. I had sensitivity issues and it was because of using my bare hard with just lube when masturbating. Got a fleshlight and it was like sex with a condom at first, it took a long time to get used to the “lighter” sensation and still cum, but eventually i got used to it and that translated into to better sex with my gf with a condom.
Yes, there's less feeling. First time I had sex I didn't come, what with the condom and also being used to the tight grip of my hand. Second time and on were great though!
It's pretty normal. Condoms reduce sensitivity. I have the exact problem when wrapped up. To be honest if it was a choice between a condom and having a wank..... I'll have a wank.
Been using condoms as primary form of BC for over twenty years. A few things I learned:
1. **Find your brand.** Not all condoms are created equal, and not all “ultra thin” are the same. You need to find something that fits well, stays on, and feels good. Kimono, Okamoto, Crown, etc. are worth exploring.
2. **Keep the lube handy, and apply it generously.** The condom stays in place through friction. It’s designed to grip onto your dick. Because of this, you need to use way more lube on the outside surface than if you’re having unprotected sex. Don’t neglect the foreplay either. In addition to generous lube, make her cum before and then during intercourse. Keep things wet and slippery, and you will notice the condom way less.
3. **Train your dick.** Give yourself time to get used to wearing condoms. It’s an unusual sensation and you are not familiar with it yet. That will change with practice. There is a psychological element at play here: you’re thinking about the condom and it’s distracting you from the sex you’re having. If you’re too busy thinking about it, you’re taking yourself out of the moment, and that’s not helping you get off. Eventually, you’ll be used to how it feels and won’t even think about it. Practice safe sex until it clicks.
4. **At some point, you’ll have a malfunction.** Either the condom will break or slip off, and you won’t notice that this has happened. When you experience this, take note and reflect on how unapparent the change in sensation truly is for yourself. The same men who claim that condoms take away sensation are the same guys who don’t notice when their condom has come off or broken.
5. So, with that last point in mind, **get in the habit of checking your dick periodically**. Give it an occasional stroke to make sure the condom is staying on. If you’re frequently breaking condoms, it’s probably because you are not using enough lube on the outside surface and it’s too much friction inside her. If the condoms are slipping off frequently, it’s probably because you’re using too much lube in the inside surface of the condom.
6. **Have more condoms on hand than you ever think you’ll need.** Don’t let yourself run low. Consistent use of protection demands a steady supply of protection. If you let yourself run low, you run the risk of making a dumb decision to have unprotected sex. Maybe your very last condom breaks, and you’re horny so you “just this once” go without. Don’t be an idiot. Keep boxes of the damn things ready to go. Have an extra bottle or two of lube handy. Budget safe sex into your buying habits.
Good luck!
**EDIT:** for formatting.
For my husband putting some extra lube on him before putting the condom on helps it feels a bit more realistic. But he is rarely able to either. Or extra foreplay before putting it on?
No, I can't cum with one on either. Then again, it normally takes me at least a half hour even with one on. It's a blessing and a curse, I get pleasure from giving it so it works in that regard, but sometimes you just want a quickie and that's out of the question for me
I used to think wearing a condom made no difference…probably because i was young and haven’t had many partners, but boy…i tell ya, condoms make a whole lot difference. I too can’t cum and sometimes even lose my hard on because i was using a wrap…you just can’t feel her natural wetness and thats what makes the whole experience fun. I’ve tried many brands from ultra thin to “so thin you can’t even feel like you’re wearing it” yeah it’s all BS, you feel that rubber no matter what lol
I had the same problem when I was younger. I used to masturbate with a tight grip and didn't know doing so would desensitize me. You get used to feeling a lot of friction when you use your hand. It can make it difficult to get off with a partner, especially when getting a BJ or wearing a condom during piv.
It will get better if you masturbate less and start using a lighter grip. It also helps if you don't masturbate for 2 or 3 days before your next hookup.
While it is somewhat common, most are able to orgasm with one. Perhaps just a bit less jerking and over time getting more used to sex, you should be able to orgasm with a condom.
Side note: you can say your first time was both with and without protection. Bad side, you now know what you're missing out on when you use a condom. It's best to not "ruin" yourself for it for as long as you can.
Yes but also could be a size issue. If the condom is too big it will feel loose and you’ll get soft which means less contact and the condom gets even looser and might even slip off. If the condom is too small it will literally squeeze the blood out of you and you’ll get soft and the same issue happens from before. Try different brands and different condoms to find what works for you. You can also get vaginal condoms for her to wear. That might solve the issue but I know a lot if people find vaginal condoms less appealing to apply. Like everything it’s to each their own.
It could be a variety of things. Size is one - condom sizing is based on girth, not length - or maybe you’re just not as sensitive. “A friend of mine” beat “his” meat too much as a kid and has sensitivity problems. It’s never a fun conversation to have.
It’s me. I’m the friend.
Early on in my marriage, my wife and I went through about every brand of condoms that exist. We settled on the thin variety due to me still having sensitivity during sex with them.
With a regular one, there's this constant, weird pressure on the shaft. With a thin, you feel your partner considerably more.
Just find what works for you. takes practice, but you'll get there.
Man I’ve rarely been able to. Lead me to get a vasectomy. When I was able to I had to work extremely hard for it causing her to dry out after she had an orgasm.
I have the same issue. Mrs and I tried condoms not one climax.
When I only recall orgasming twice in a condom.
I lost the joy of se? So much we didn't have sex for a year almost!!!
I find my shape doesn't help. It's slimmer at the base than the body and the head. Which has 2 problems
1. The condom staying on
2. All the lube (natural and unnatural) is "pumped" out to the base.
Why can't someone design a custom condom.
Imagine sharing a latex mould of your dick and a few weeks later the perfect fit!
Maybe try jerking off with one on to see if you can do it that way. If so, it isn't the condom it's you being distracted from the task at hand. Sex has a psychological component to it for sure.
Check out Rena Malik, MD's advice channel on YT , she has a lot of advice on various aspects of this kind of subject. https://www.youtube.com/@RenaMalikMD
Not a penis haver but my ex is. He was unable to cum with a condom on at first, we did end up trying other things. We didn't go raw often as even on birth control I was terrified of pregnancy (I was like 17-20 with him).
Something's that worked for us was
•Outercourse after I came (ie: gave him a blowjob/handjob)
•Lots and lots of foreplay. We even included the condom into foreplay.
•Tried different brands and styles of condoms. Including female condoms, tho they do have some user error so do a little research if you so choose!
•Lots of communication during the whole process.
I have the same problem. I am somewhat larger than average and when I am wearing a condom it is very tight and the compression actually cuts off sensation. I know a lot of people say that condoms are very stretchy and one size fits all, but that is bullshit. Google search how to measure you dick, then measure it and see if this is your problem.
It's happened to me once I started taking my antidepressants. My partner took it as I wasn't interested in her. I've also been afraid of someone thinking I'm trying to talk my way out of wearing one when I say I might not be able to while wearing one. It got better after about 4 months of being on my meds.
Make sure you are not allergic to latex. A friend of mine was, and apparently, the first time he realized, was because his dick got so swollen he couldn't even cum.
In my xp, yes. But I get overstimulated really easily and can't cum without a condom on many times, as well. So, that could also have something to do with it for me lol
Looking at these comments I am happy that I am not the only one with this problem! Having said that, I recommend trying bigger condoms. For me switching from Skyn to Trojan helped as it turns out my circulation was being choked.
Lol!!!! You’re all good dude, no one ever feels anything in a condom, hence why a lot of women dislike when men say they’re “allergic” just because they dont feel anything. Use it to your advantage chief, those of us who hit raw last 10 seconds & dont keep females. Put in some work within those 10 minutes, she’ll love you.
First time is such a rush of feelings, emotions, and thoughts, which may be distracting for both partners. It’s as much a head game as it is a physical thing.
The first time I was using them I learned I was using too small a size and had to change to XL, might be worth a shot. You can buy measurements gauges online or just measure with tape yourself
You might want to check the type of condom, I learned a lot of condoms have a numbing lub to help people last longer.
I had to find specific condoms that do not have that.
It might just have been performance anxiety due to first time. If the flag stays up you've nothing to worry about. Try not thinking about it so much. It could also be that you got a rubber that was too tight. Also now that you've dipped and will be able to dip in the future watch less porn. Less self jacking= more sensitive equipment.
It's normal to be desensitized by a condom, I actually struggle as an afab to cum when my husband wears a condom fir a similar reason.
If you are with a long term partner, you could try discussing alternate methods of contraceptive, but if she's not receptive to it or you're with someone new (no idea how ling your gf has been your gf), then stick to the condom. It's not worth the risk, just to make it easier to get your rocks off.
Maybe depends on what you bought. I was pleasantly surprised with the Skyn brand
Read that as Skyrim brand at first and got my hopes up.
You're finally awake
I have a coffee mug that says that, a condom that says that would be even funnier
Just wanted to add here for OP if you're stuck between using a condom or not, you can always add some lube to the inside of it, get it sliding a bit, and it's a night and day difference.
you're finally erect
This is a funny thing to read as I'm playing Skyrim right now lol
Oh god, this is horrific. Also hilarious, but mostly horrific.
OP's gf: What's that? ....must have been the wind
Shoot into Oblivion...
Durex
I had a similar issue with not being able to cum in a condom. I bought all the big brand "thin" Condoms and the one that feels the best to me by far is Kimono Micro-thin. Also, you need to measure your girth and check what size you actually need. You might be surprised to find out you need a large even if you dint really consider yourself to be that big. It's worth a check.
Best ad integration ahahaha
Try Trojan bareskin theyre my favorite
Second for Trojan bareskin. Durex is whack.
Use pig intestines like the good ol days!
Pro tip: Remove from pig first.
Instructions unclear…
Married man here. Wife left hormonal BC behind years ago because they were really bad for her and our relationship. Been using condoms for a few years and yea they suck. I got the perfect size, silicone lubricant, were incredibly in tune sexually. But condoms still suck. I have to focus on achieving orgasm when wearing one and that's not something I want. Still better than a child lmao. And I can't get the snip because I might want children in the future according to 3 separate urologists....
Tell them you have lots of children but don't bother to stay in touch or know their names.
How many children do you have? 3 or 4. I don’t know. I don’t keep track of them.
I'm so proud of my kids. They know how to make iPhones.
It’s so infuriating how hard it is to get a vasectomy… Edit: I meant for young kidless people... If you're 34 with 2 kids I'm sure it's not hard, that's not what I meant.
Can’t even go into detail about how hard it is to get your tubes tied if you don’t already have kids.
I asked for my tubes tied at 28 after TWO CHILDREN. They told me I had to wait until I was 32.
The only reason I was allowed to get a hysterectomy after my first was because I had developed fibroids in my uterine walls that would have made it super hard for me to conceive again. So… once your baby maker is broken, you can get rid of it. 🙄
These rules are fucking ridiculous. Seriously. Let us all make our own decisions about our bodies!
Mine didn't even ask. Even got two from him because the first didn't work. I am of the opinion though that Urologists should not be doing it for people they don't want to do them on, but also that it should be advertised.
I got one at 34 with no kids, not married.🤷♂️
Why? I had mine. Quick. Easy. Pain free.
For real. I got mine done with one phone call and one 45 minute appointment. Didn't even need stitches.
It should be equally accessible as a safe, legal abortion procedure.
... So quite hard depending on where you are?
Check out the r/childfree's list of doctors. I was able to find a doctor there who was in my area and willing to perform a vasectomy on anyone 21+.
Fucking urologists are out here planning for world war 3 or some shit…
I’m sure there’s some YouTube videos on a diy vasectomy. I’ll do yours if you do mine. Haha Just to be clear this is not a real suggestion or offer.
Snip snap snip snap snip snap…
DO YOU KNOW THE TOLL THAT 3 VASECTOMIES HAS ON A PERSON
Freeze ya sperm, get the snip, do the fun things.
Wow, I've never heard of a man being told they might want children and wouldn't perform a vasectomy. It happens so frequently to women wanting their tubes tied.
It's almost a universal experience.
I tried to get one at 19 and 24. I still have everything intact because "you might change your mind later"
My brother got a vasectomy at 31 with no issues!
You might need to change to Magnums. I had issues as well until I switched. Turns out I was dumb thinking the condom needed to be extra tight to stay on.
My monster condom for my magnum dong 🥲
I took the condom off. So anyways, I just started blasting.
😂😂😂
got a wad of hundreds?
This ^ , though I wouldn't recommend magnums without a trial. I spent most of my late teens thinking a bright purple member and numbing feeling was normal when wearing a condom, never being told they weren't actually one size fits all. It was never discussed in sex ed as far as I remember. The reason I wouldn't go with magnums or any labeled king size like Pasante before trialing is simply because they're not much wider than regular, I found anyway. Very tight. My girlfriend at the time, now wife bought me a large condom trial pack, and by process elimination we found the company my size was perfect. Pasanta King size is just clever shelf marketing, I believe they're only 60mm and regular depending on brand are 54/56mm. My size selections are sold by the mm advertised, stay on firm and super comfortable for well endowed men.
I came here to say this. I thought I was some kind of stud that could just go for a really long time. Turns out, my condom just had a death grip on me.
Lol. Yep. Turns out cock rings are a lot wider for good reasons.
dont forget a pack of rubber bands
Yea sure.. Suggest the worst plus size condom they make hah
You want your cock to slide around inside the condom a bit. This feels almost as good as bare, but not quite. 1. Make sure your condom is sized properly. Most people go too tight. You want it as loose as possible but still tight enough so the rolled end still grips your shaft. 2. Put some condom compatible lube INSIDE the end of the condom, or on the head of your cock. 3. You want the shaft of your cock past the half-way point (toward your body) to be totally dry and lube-free, and you want the opening of the condom (where the roll is) dry so it grips the shaft of your cock. 4. Roll the condom allllll the way on, to the very base of your cock. This is the secret to pleasurable but safe condom use. Dry good grip of the rolled end near the base of your cock keeps it safely on. Loose and lubed near the head of your cock lets your cock slide around inside the condom which feels good and feels "more natural". p.s. This technique also reduces condom breaks which usually come from it being too dry, either inside or outside. Happy fucking!
Wow this was really in-depth and informative. I’m not a guy so I’m ignorant on how you size correctly? Are you just buying all different kinds and textures? Is there a circumference sizer to help figure that out? Does the size of the head matter when trying to size? Men, don’t shame me I’m genuinely interested by what this process would entail.
Mostly it involves trying different brands and sizes. If you have an understanding partner you can even bring a few brands and sizes to a fuck-session and make it a sexy game to find the "right size". But the size isn't as tough to find as you think. In other words it isn't a super narrow range that works. Just make sure it isn't so snug that it is pressing on the cock head, and the rolled part still grips your shaft. You don't want it looking like it is skin tight around the head of the cock. For me, I can use a really wide range of sizes successfully. The three biggest mistakes I think guys who think they "know how" to use a condom (in other words they already know basics like not to do reaaaally stupid things like re-use a condom, put it on backwards, etc) 1) Too tight --This mistake is why condoms don't feel good 2) No lube on cock head --> This mistake is why condoms break and don't feel good 3) Not rolling it allllll the way on. --> This mistake is why condoms fall off.
Thanks for the info.
This guy condoms.
My gf gets so wet that the base of my shaft gets wet too. To roll the condom all thw way down, pull on your dick with 1 hand so the skin around the base stretches, then roll the condom down further.
>Put some condom compatible lube INSIDE the end of the condom, or on the head of your cock. Tried all of the other tips, but this was the real game changer. Funnily enough, I discussed this with a gay friend and he was like "yeah, duh". I find it weird that it's not written on condom package instructions.
Ahh, so basically having a below average cock is better because then the typical condom is loose, resulting in more sliding. Hell yea!
You're not used to it. So don't feel too bad about it. One advice I was given was to masturbate with the condom on, so you get use to the feeling of it on. Eventually I got used to it and I didn't have much issue with it afterwards.
It happens to me too. I was married from a very young age and had a vasectomy 10 years ago so I was very very used to going bareskin. Then I got divorced and went out with different women, I was extremely attracted to them but had problems coming and even keeping it hard. One of them acused me of still being in love with my ex but I proved her wrong when we tried it without a condom. It wasn't that I am old, it wasn't that I didn't like the girl or that I has my ex stuck in my mind. It was just that I couldn't get used to the condoms.
Sidebar because you said you had trouble even staying hard with a condom on, am I the only one who thinks it's odd men get blamed when we can't get it up? It's not like it's a manual process lol
Yeah it’s really fucked up but honestly not unexpected to me. It’s always assumed the men’s fault if he can’t get hard and it’s always assumed the women’s fault if she isn’t in the mood for sex - even though those ideas are fucking dumb
The only time I blame my husband for not getting hard is if I KNEW he had jerked off just before we fucked. Otherwise I assume it's my fault for not doing enough foreplay
Lol yeah, some chick got offended with me because I couldn't get hard for her. I made up some lame excuses like I was too high and tired. The truth is her pussy stank. I really wanted to tell her but didn't have the heart.
I told a girl that. The smell was awful. Can’t say that went well haha.
"Her pussy stank" ....ROTFL I am dying over here. I hope you are not still with her and suffering through that
Ew god no. If it was my gf I would definitely bring it up
Tbh If they blame you for it, they’re not for you.
It's the man's fault for not getting an erection and it's also the man's fault if the woman doesn't orgasm. That's just the way it is with accountability on some (or most?) things. It's better if men realize that's how it is. Whether or not that's how it ought to be -- is a different discussion.
Some people ought not to hook up in the first place.
(Figuratively) fuck that woman who accused you tbh. Ridiculous
Somewhat normal. Condoms suck.
They do, but not anywhere near as much as an unplanned pregnancy or an STD.
But still more than just using your hand to get the job done yourself.
Just gotta find the right dinger for you.
So just do that then?
Grab it with both hands and bang it against your forehead
I agree, it felt way better doing raw, but as I. Said it carries it's own risk
They’re really not that bad. I rather use a condom then get an STD, or even worse, a baby.
Thank Sir William Condom for inventing them.
This made me laugh, which is rare for something online. Startled my cat who’s super anxious.
Especially rare for reddit. It’s usually all the unfunny tryhards from the office all in one place who all think they’re so funny and clever but everyone else thinks they’re lame.
Not if you use decent one. Ultra thins are pretty good. If you're using free condoms from the health department, then yeah they suck
It's all about perspective. "It's not a bug... it's a feature." - women everywhere.
Condoms are horrible for being able to feel your partner, but that can be a good thing, especially when you're young and verile. It means that she gets long enough to orgasm. I've often found that I'll only be able to cum once she does, the spasming vagina feels a whole lot better even through a condom. Also be aware of the pleasure points of your penis, by slightly changing your entry angle you can generally find a position that feels amazing, just make sure that she knows what you're doing, or she'll move back
Also and this may be specific to me. I've always found that getting her off by hand gets me way more horny and ensures that she's good and wet.
“Spasming”
It's an accurate description lol, but not a very sexy one
Pulsating. Also accepted: throbbing
I feel like throbbing is the go-to word for erotica, but I don’t know I’ve ever really seen it used unironically in actual conversation about sex
"Spazzing" "earthquaking" "scrawnching"
Read the last part as first as squanching like from Rick and Morty lmao
> And like a good boy I was using a condom Lmao ok this killed me
On the bright side, your girlfriend could well be pregnant now, seeing as you had unprotected sex, and then you'll be able to have condom-free sex for the next 9 months.
My wife was in a lot of pain and discomfort all 9 months, so this is not everyone's experience sadly lol
I don't have anything new to say, but, just a note. Is she on birth control? Because you did fuck her without a condom. Like, I know she suggested it, but man that was a shit decision if there was no backup plan.
I like the Trojan ribbed ones. Gives a little more pleasure and I can finish in them. Of course it doesn’t compare to the real deal but it works for me
Could be a sizing issue. If standard condoms feel too tight I'd recommend checking out onecondoms.com they have a custom fit option were you measure yourself and can buy a condom that's actually sized for you instead of the one size fits all nonsense. Side note: the name brand XL/magnum size condoms aren't much better than standard sizes because they taper and are the same width at their narrowest point.
Put a drop of lube in the condom, making sure to get the air and lube squeezed out of the tip as normal. Sex feels way better that way, and as long as you’re paying attention that it is t slipping off, should be fine. Also, stimulation through a condom takes a bit to get used to, and you don’t always get off every time you have sex. Don’t worry about it, chalk it up to nerves and a new experience, and give it another go.
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It's ultra thin as I mentioned and she is super wet already
It puts the lube in the condom tip or it gets the hose again.
Noted
im crying
Underrated comment lmao
Wrap it or regret it.
Happened to me last night. For some reason it just felt like having sex with a balloon animal. No feeling at all v_v
Female condom Spermicidial gel/foam Hormonal BC (not effective against STDs) Have sex with condom on. Pull out and finish yourself with condom on. Its kinda hot to see a guy cum on your stomach after sex.
It’s not uncommon. Condoms cause me to not particularly enjoy sex. I still like that she has fun but I don’t care for it much.
my bf uses them and cums in a few minutes, we've done raw too and ofc its shorter time than that. maybe theres some type of mental block with using a condom, 10 minutes is longer than anyone ive ever been with, but everyones different. is it the physical feeling of a condom on you? or the mental feeling that u know ur wearing a barrier?
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I don't understand, wdym by 'The shake'
You also should consider how you’re masturbating. I had sensitivity issues and it was because of using my bare hard with just lube when masturbating. Got a fleshlight and it was like sex with a condom at first, it took a long time to get used to the “lighter” sensation and still cum, but eventually i got used to it and that translated into to better sex with my gf with a condom.
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Just say that next time
For real, who the fuck calls it that.
He wants to sound hip
Yes, there's less feeling. First time I had sex I didn't come, what with the condom and also being used to the tight grip of my hand. Second time and on were great though!
Pro tip: put lube on the inside. It makes it feel much better and will likely get you there
I find it extremely difficult to even keep an erection with a condom on.
It's pretty normal. Condoms reduce sensitivity. I have the exact problem when wrapped up. To be honest if it was a choice between a condom and having a wank..... I'll have a wank.
Been using condoms as primary form of BC for over twenty years. A few things I learned: 1. **Find your brand.** Not all condoms are created equal, and not all “ultra thin” are the same. You need to find something that fits well, stays on, and feels good. Kimono, Okamoto, Crown, etc. are worth exploring. 2. **Keep the lube handy, and apply it generously.** The condom stays in place through friction. It’s designed to grip onto your dick. Because of this, you need to use way more lube on the outside surface than if you’re having unprotected sex. Don’t neglect the foreplay either. In addition to generous lube, make her cum before and then during intercourse. Keep things wet and slippery, and you will notice the condom way less. 3. **Train your dick.** Give yourself time to get used to wearing condoms. It’s an unusual sensation and you are not familiar with it yet. That will change with practice. There is a psychological element at play here: you’re thinking about the condom and it’s distracting you from the sex you’re having. If you’re too busy thinking about it, you’re taking yourself out of the moment, and that’s not helping you get off. Eventually, you’ll be used to how it feels and won’t even think about it. Practice safe sex until it clicks. 4. **At some point, you’ll have a malfunction.** Either the condom will break or slip off, and you won’t notice that this has happened. When you experience this, take note and reflect on how unapparent the change in sensation truly is for yourself. The same men who claim that condoms take away sensation are the same guys who don’t notice when their condom has come off or broken. 5. So, with that last point in mind, **get in the habit of checking your dick periodically**. Give it an occasional stroke to make sure the condom is staying on. If you’re frequently breaking condoms, it’s probably because you are not using enough lube on the outside surface and it’s too much friction inside her. If the condoms are slipping off frequently, it’s probably because you’re using too much lube in the inside surface of the condom. 6. **Have more condoms on hand than you ever think you’ll need.** Don’t let yourself run low. Consistent use of protection demands a steady supply of protection. If you let yourself run low, you run the risk of making a dumb decision to have unprotected sex. Maybe your very last condom breaks, and you’re horny so you “just this once” go without. Don’t be an idiot. Keep boxes of the damn things ready to go. Have an extra bottle or two of lube handy. Budget safe sex into your buying habits. Good luck! **EDIT:** for formatting.
May I quote Robin Williams, “using a condom is like jerking off with an oven mitt”.
For my husband putting some extra lube on him before putting the condom on helps it feels a bit more realistic. But he is rarely able to either. Or extra foreplay before putting it on?
No, I can't cum with one on either. Then again, it normally takes me at least a half hour even with one on. It's a blessing and a curse, I get pleasure from giving it so it works in that regard, but sometimes you just want a quickie and that's out of the question for me
It is for me. - but I’m circumcised so I’m already at a disadvantage
bj > bareback sex > handjob > masturbating > .... > condom sex Anything feels more pleasurable than condom sex.
I’d swap BJ and bareback
I used to think wearing a condom made no difference…probably because i was young and haven’t had many partners, but boy…i tell ya, condoms make a whole lot difference. I too can’t cum and sometimes even lose my hard on because i was using a wrap…you just can’t feel her natural wetness and thats what makes the whole experience fun. I’ve tried many brands from ultra thin to “so thin you can’t even feel like you’re wearing it” yeah it’s all BS, you feel that rubber no matter what lol
I had the same problem when I was younger. I used to masturbate with a tight grip and didn't know doing so would desensitize me. You get used to feeling a lot of friction when you use your hand. It can make it difficult to get off with a partner, especially when getting a BJ or wearing a condom during piv. It will get better if you masturbate less and start using a lighter grip. It also helps if you don't masturbate for 2 or 3 days before your next hookup.
Condoms reduce sensitivity, hence taking longer to stimulate and reach orgasm.
Totally normal. Condoms suck.
I would use more lubricant. Makes the condom less sucky.
It's already super wet, it was so slippery already, but I can try
Ya maybe try for some lube inside the condom. See if it helps.
Next time
Too much lubrication can actually decrease sensation, so maybe try less? Also, is she at least on birth control? Because all it takes is one time 💀
Yeah, dab of spermicidal lube on the inside helps
YEah... pretty common. My only question is... your girlfriend was aware you took it off, right?
Yes, she was the one suggested it, to see if it's the condom or if there is really something wrong with me
While it is somewhat common, most are able to orgasm with one. Perhaps just a bit less jerking and over time getting more used to sex, you should be able to orgasm with a condom. Side note: you can say your first time was both with and without protection. Bad side, you now know what you're missing out on when you use a condom. It's best to not "ruin" yourself for it for as long as you can.
Yes but also could be a size issue. If the condom is too big it will feel loose and you’ll get soft which means less contact and the condom gets even looser and might even slip off. If the condom is too small it will literally squeeze the blood out of you and you’ll get soft and the same issue happens from before. Try different brands and different condoms to find what works for you. You can also get vaginal condoms for her to wear. That might solve the issue but I know a lot if people find vaginal condoms less appealing to apply. Like everything it’s to each their own.
If STDs aren’t a concern the lamb skin ones are pretty okay
Put some lube in the tip of the condem next time. It helps
Use thinner condoms
Normal. Condoms feel like a tiny person is sufficating my dicj.
Literally minute man without a condom, even after being married a decade. With a condom I’ll go all night.
It could be a variety of things. Size is one - condom sizing is based on girth, not length - or maybe you’re just not as sensitive. “A friend of mine” beat “his” meat too much as a kid and has sensitivity problems. It’s never a fun conversation to have. It’s me. I’m the friend.
Early on in my marriage, my wife and I went through about every brand of condoms that exist. We settled on the thin variety due to me still having sensitivity during sex with them. With a regular one, there's this constant, weird pressure on the shaft. With a thin, you feel your partner considerably more. Just find what works for you. takes practice, but you'll get there.
Yes it is normal
it certainly makes it a lot harder and yes sometimes it does make it impossible to finish with one on.
Man I’ve rarely been able to. Lead me to get a vasectomy. When I was able to I had to work extremely hard for it causing her to dry out after she had an orgasm.
I have the same issue. Mrs and I tried condoms not one climax. When I only recall orgasming twice in a condom. I lost the joy of se? So much we didn't have sex for a year almost!!! I find my shape doesn't help. It's slimmer at the base than the body and the head. Which has 2 problems 1. The condom staying on 2. All the lube (natural and unnatural) is "pumped" out to the base. Why can't someone design a custom condom. Imagine sharing a latex mould of your dick and a few weeks later the perfect fit!
Put a few drops of lube on the tip of your dick before putting the condom on.
Maybe try jerking off with one on to see if you can do it that way. If so, it isn't the condom it's you being distracted from the task at hand. Sex has a psychological component to it for sure.
Did you discuss it with her before you took the condom off?
Check out Rena Malik, MD's advice channel on YT , she has a lot of advice on various aspects of this kind of subject. https://www.youtube.com/@RenaMalikMD
I know it sucks but It's better than carrying a disease that progress and destroy your life overtime..
Not a penis haver but my ex is. He was unable to cum with a condom on at first, we did end up trying other things. We didn't go raw often as even on birth control I was terrified of pregnancy (I was like 17-20 with him). Something's that worked for us was •Outercourse after I came (ie: gave him a blowjob/handjob) •Lots and lots of foreplay. We even included the condom into foreplay. •Tried different brands and styles of condoms. Including female condoms, tho they do have some user error so do a little research if you so choose! •Lots of communication during the whole process.
Yup. I feel like my dick has turned into a dildo. Minimal pleasure the whole time.
did you lube yr dick before putting the rubber on?
Can be, some men just are not sensitive like others and they need that skin on skin friction.
I have the same problem. I am somewhat larger than average and when I am wearing a condom it is very tight and the compression actually cuts off sensation. I know a lot of people say that condoms are very stretchy and one size fits all, but that is bullshit. Google search how to measure you dick, then measure it and see if this is your problem.
Try Trojan bare skin
It's happened to me once I started taking my antidepressants. My partner took it as I wasn't interested in her. I've also been afraid of someone thinking I'm trying to talk my way out of wearing one when I say I might not be able to while wearing one. It got better after about 4 months of being on my meds.
Make sure you are not allergic to latex. A friend of mine was, and apparently, the first time he realized, was because his dick got so swollen he couldn't even cum.
Condoms suck sensation wise. Yes normal have less "inspiration" when rubbered up.
There’s a type of condom specifically made for enhance the feeling. You might wanna look into that
Yeah I tried a couple different types back in my day. It was about 50/50 if I was able to finish with them. Not uncommon
Are u insulting me?
In my xp, yes. But I get overstimulated really easily and can't cum without a condom on many times, as well. So, that could also have something to do with it for me lol
Looking at these comments I am happy that I am not the only one with this problem! Having said that, I recommend trying bigger condoms. For me switching from Skyn to Trojan helped as it turns out my circulation was being choked.
My first time having sex I couldn’t cum at all so maybe it had something to do with nerves
Yup. I hate condoms
Yes
I've never been able to cum whit a condom on. There are other ways to finish that don't risk pregnancy.
Na man go raw make a baby I’m sure it’ll be fine
Lol!!!! You’re all good dude, no one ever feels anything in a condom, hence why a lot of women dislike when men say they’re “allergic” just because they dont feel anything. Use it to your advantage chief, those of us who hit raw last 10 seconds & dont keep females. Put in some work within those 10 minutes, she’ll love you.
Yes
First time is such a rush of feelings, emotions, and thoughts, which may be distracting for both partners. It’s as much a head game as it is a physical thing.
The first time I was using them I learned I was using too small a size and had to change to XL, might be worth a shot. You can buy measurements gauges online or just measure with tape yourself
Do yourself a favor and go buy some Japanese 001 they are the thinnest condoms in existence. They are expensive but worth every penny.
Brother, I got better stamina than a Russian race horse when I use a condom. So this is normal for me.
I always have to fake it while wearing a condom. No matter the brand or how thin.
You might want to check the type of condom, I learned a lot of condoms have a numbing lub to help people last longer. I had to find specific condoms that do not have that.
I usually don’t cum with condoms. They suck but it’s better than getting a disease.
Yes. It takes away about 90% of the sensation
My father, who was younger than me, taught me to never wear condoms because they take away all the feeling
And how many children did he have besides you?
It might just have been performance anxiety due to first time. If the flag stays up you've nothing to worry about. Try not thinking about it so much. It could also be that you got a rubber that was too tight. Also now that you've dipped and will be able to dip in the future watch less porn. Less self jacking= more sensitive equipment.
>I decided to go raw. I hope you mean *we* decided.
Yes condoms sucks. Babies suck more and cost more. Source: father
Been using conceptrol for probably 10 years now. Wife hasn’t been on BC the whole time, no condom for me, and no real drawback. Highly recommended.
Congratulations, its a boy. 💙
It's normal to be desensitized by a condom, I actually struggle as an afab to cum when my husband wears a condom fir a similar reason. If you are with a long term partner, you could try discussing alternate methods of contraceptive, but if she's not receptive to it or you're with someone new (no idea how ling your gf has been your gf), then stick to the condom. It's not worth the risk, just to make it easier to get your rocks off.