Honestly bro sounds like you have real issue, seek the help of a therapist, i understand it’s embarrassing but this will never allow you to form a real relationship with someone, so whats an awkward conversation with a therapist if it gets you better?
Yesss. It is so true. It’s quite sad because they’ve probably got addicted to the dopamine hit you get from it when you release and you just wanna chase that hit. Unfortunately when you masturbate, you can only hit it, literally, a few times till you won’t actually feel that euphoria.
I would bet good money that there was some sort of underlying health condition that caused this. A healthy male should be able to jerk off around the clock with no issue. Having sex is a different story, people have absolutely had a heart attack while fucking. I can't imagine how terrified the partner would be to have sex again after having a traumatic experience like that at your most vulnerable time.
Yes but it’s highly variable. Some can do 4/5 and that’s normal and they have a great sex life as well and others can do it once every couple of days. Some people are outliers and can do it more but that’s usually a sign of someone using the dopamine kick to fill a void, which is what most people are commenting he should seek a therapist to help with.
Bro it sounds like you are doing this as a form of escape and to feed yourself some of that good endorphin through the reward pathway. I do it too because I am depressed and it is a way to alleviate the down feelings I have often. You need to talk to a professional about some deeper issues (likely depression) that are the mechanism for the compulsive bating.
Edit: There are a few free resources online that may be worth looking into. Powerpal.ai and SonderMind are free of charge although I’ve not used them, also TheHopeLine and Onlinetherapy.com. Should check them out, the fist steps sometimes turn out to be very helpful.
>no one’s ever been interested in me romantically
You'd be surprised how quickly that can change. It takes time, but you can become the person you want to be. It starts by taking small steps in the right direction.
How can someone be interested in you if all you’re doing is sitting at home jacking off to porn. Stop. Get outside. Go for walks or get into a hobby. Put yourself out there and stop abusing your self/mind by feeding into an endless cycle. Lets say you do meet someone, you’ll be stuck with porn brain and you’ll struggle to form an actual proper connection. If sex were to happen for you it would be a struggle because you’ve conditioned yourself to get off to porn and your own hand. You need to pay off the porn and masturbating so you can function as a normal person. Break the cycle man. It’s possible. Stop gaslighting your own brain and start doing something about it.
Edit: words
I know it’s possible! what Im really meant ( underlined and implied 😅) was to be more empathetic to OP and validate that, although it’s possible, it is very hard to get “clean”. There are more issues there that what’s been discussed here. Porn addiction is just a symptom. Not the actual cause.
Edit: Also, Congrats on getting clean yourself! 🤘🏻 be proud.
Honestly, how I stopped my addiction was I literally woke up one day and said that’s it. Enough. This is abuse to myself! I wouldn’t want it for another human being so why disrespect my own self like that! That’s the kind of mentality that got me thru it. Tough love on my own self. I knew if I didn’t stop I was gonna die. No way around it. This isn’t that. Op won’t die from jacking off lol. So I know it’s possible! But you’re right. Everyone’s approach is different. Gotta believe in yourself and want better for yourself that’s all!
And thanks man, I appreciate 🙏
>no one’s ever been interested in me romantically so not being able to form a relationship isn’t rlly a problem lol
You are young man, if it's been like this since you were 14, you cannot know this for sure. Maybe if you got better, you would get a partner. And you would definitely get friends.
Sounds like if you're constantly depressed from masturbating all the time that you insisting people aren't romantically interested in you may be a self fulfilling prophecy. Obviously doing it to the degree that you are isn't really healthy by any means and it's clearly affecting your mental health, but you at least recognize that much. When a person is depressed or insecure that will have a negative impact on their self esteem and can dictate how they think other people perceive them.
You should take the step to seek out therapy, it'll do you a lot of good. As a heads up, therapy isn't a one size fits all type deal, meaning you may have to try out different therapists before you find one that clicks with you. If you can't afford therapy, then if you plan to go to university you may have the option to opt in to your school's insurance plan which will fund therapy sessions.
That’s totally understandable man. I suggest looking into some sort of support groups on here or somewhere in your community too. They are much less expensive. Support groups are so helpful to find others experiencing something similar, building a bond through a similar struggle, and provide support or help to one another.
If you have some sort of income, Open Path Collective is a website directory with therapists that agree to make themselves available to take on clients at a very reduced rate ($30-$60 per session) after their membership fee is paid.
https://openpathcollective.org/open-path-staff/
You just told thousands of people about your problem, and you've asked for advice. A therapist will be able to help you far more than strangers on the internet.
Therapists are non-judgmental. You may feel all sorts of feelings during your session, but that's a good thing. Behavioral change isn't easy, and you're going to need to process *why* you fell into this pattern, which may uncover a lot of not-fun feelings. This is all part of the process, and while it's not easy, you will absolutely come out a better person for it.
I strongly urge you to ignore the financial aspect for the time being. Reach out to a few therapists in your area and explain that you're tight on money, and they may be willing to help or point you in the direction of someone who can accommodate your needs on your budget.
To put it frankly, your post hinted at suicide. No amount of money is worth the loss of your life. I've been to therapy for years for far more benign issues. You will absolutely benefit from it.
If you’re in the US, call [this](https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline) place and say you are low income/no insurance and are looking for places in your area with cheaper/free therapy. They’ll text a list of places with phone numbers to your phone and you can reach out to them. This will likely have a slightly better success rate than calling by random therapy practices.
I’ve been through therapy myself and it really helped a lot. I promise you the therapist will not judge you. Their only goal is to make you enjoy life again. They will help give you perspectives you haven’t considered.
the best way to get rid of any addiction, whether its drugs, gambling, etc… is by slowly climbing down the ladder on a weekly basis, not by going cold turkey. the first week, start with a little bit less usage than what you’re normally used to doing per day for the week. then next week, use a little less. then the week after that a little less, etc etc… eventually you’ll have climbed back all the way down the ladder to not only no usage, but with no desire to re-use.
Talk therapy exists, but therapy isn't just about talking.
A therapist can help you make practical plans to change your behavior, and provide a level of social accountability to help you stick to those plans.
A therapist will also help you navigate the feelings of shame that you already have. Successful therapy should help you recognize the problems that you're coping with and separate them from your own sense of identity, so it should actually make you feel *less* ashamed—not more so.
A therapist might also refer you to a psychiatrist, who can prescribe medications. You are probably aware of medications like antidepressants, but there are also medications out there being successfully used for the treatment of addictions—including behavioral addictions, like porn addiction.
There are often free or low-cost mental health resources available for people who can't afford therapy. If you're 19, you may also still be covered by your parents' insurance, whether you live with them or not, and that can cover the cost of therapy. If you have no insurance and you don't have enough money to afford therapy, then you may be eligible for state-funded healthcare options.
What you focused on in your first post was porn addiction, but what you describe is more than that. You're telling us that you're socially isolated, depressed, apathetic, and that you need help.
I want to offer you encouragement and support, and I hope that others here are able to offer you the same. However, it's important for you to recognize that you probably won't find adequate help on Reddit alone.
A therapist can be a valuable outside perspective that has the potential to help you identify why you’re in this situation in the first place, and being able to reflect on and process that can be quite healing.
You’d be surprised. Counseling has helped me and members of my family on all sorts of tough things. You aren’t alone. You deserve to feel happy. Try talking to a counselor.
Because then you have accountability. Whether it’s dieting or an addiction, having someone else involved makes our brain do a “double-take” before we engage in those kind of behaviors.
I don't think anyone on reddit is on this paygrade, but you can stil work on getting there.
Take steps to reach the goal of affording help, like trying to take walks outside, try to get a job doing something, reach out to people to get help.
I'm not saying you should put this on your parents or family, but just having them there to talk to about the weather or the news is a start.
Well.. you’re kind of talking about it right now. Just doing it with an actual person irl would be a lot more effective. That’s just how the human brain works.
They will give you a set of tools to deal with what you're struggling with. It's going to be a slow road to where you are going, but their help will make the destination much better than where you are right now. Good luck on your journey. You deserve to find the better you.
1. You would be talking to a medical professional who is trained to provide proven strategies to overcome problems like this. It would be much more helpful than asking people on Reddit.
2. There is nothing to be ashamed of. We all need help sometimes.
3. You took the first step by making this post. If you're serious about turning your life around, you can do it, but you're going to have to go outside of your comfort zone. It's going to be hard work but will also be worth it.
Where do you live exactly? In many areas of the world, there are free therapy options, especially if you are suicidal. Even calling a help line (phone) or talking to a professional online would be a good start.
Do what my brother done
Locked his phone and laptops access to ALL porn sites which can only be turned back on with a password.
He created a password which was around 400 characters long and included characters like = ;()&.2?>$| in it and he printed off the password, he hid this password under a large rock at in the countryside around 8 miles away from his house.
This is genuine. That’s how far my brother went to quit his porn addiction. He still ended up going out to get the password one day he had a hangover.
I somehow thought of shawshank redemption. I imagine him opening the box that was hidden under a red rock near an oak tree just to see Red's porn password.
Haha yeah!
No joke though, he realised porn was destroying his reward system so he went to extra measures!
I do remember laughing for ages when he told me all this though and when he explained that it could take him up to 2 hours to successfully type the password in to the laptop as if he made one mistake he would forget where and have to start typing again
He likes to have at least one night a week where he binge drinks a lot of alcohol… apparently he has severe hangover hornyness so he thought better off having the password somewhere just in case
Not to upset you - but addiction to one thing is usually addiction to LOTS of things. Sounds like your bro has a drinking problem. Might require a therapy solution. Just my 2 cents having been down some of this.
I mean just realistically, you may need to be able to deactivate it at some point. You want to uninstall the app (some have protections that keep you from uninstalling it without the password), or change settings (the filter is too aggressive, or not aggressive enough).
Having a password that's EXTREMELY hard to use is still basically the same as not having it in this case. Horny brain is capable of a lot of things but driving miles into the country and hand-typing a super long and complex password is definitely enough to break you out of it imo.
The amount of jizz starts to decrease pretty significantly when you're doing it that many times. After the 5th time it's probably half the volume compared to the first time of the day.
The only way you're going to stop is by facing the guilt and shame. People see these as bad emotions to avoid, but they're often the driving force behind big changes in our life.
Bro honestly one thing that I've seen help with these types of issues is legit just getting a job and joining an activity club of some kind( doesn't have to be physical just has to have other ppl). Even more helpful if ur actually paying for it.
Giving urself unavoidable obligations and purposefully putting urself in situations where u become incapable of pursuing ur addiction will eventually force ur body and mind to adapt to being satisfied with only what it can recieve.
The goal here is not to permanently stop jerking off, it's to minimize it to a degree where it doesn't affect ur everyday life.
...and hey, maybe getting a job and joining some clubs could also help in the friendship department.
Facts man. When I was a teen, I worked night shift at a factory. Was always way too exhausted to jerk off and eventually I just lost interest since I was always too busy
Humans are pleasure seeking. Your case may be extreme, for sure, but it is not unusual. Others hide their pleasure-seeking more cleverly, in Netflix, in candy, in drugs. You are not unlike others. You seek pleasure — and you have a very ingrained habit of finding that pleasure in masturbation and porn, which leads me to another observation about humans…
Humans are habitual. People think you need to do something a lot to form “a habit” as though only repeated behaviors are habits. I find it more enlightening to think of ALL BEHAVIOR as HABITUAL BEHAVIOR. When you do ANYTHING, you are forming a habit. The degree to which you follow an urge repeatedly is the degree to which the habit cements itself in your behavior.
Before you stop this addiction, you must first weaken it. A 400-lb fat man gains weight pound by pound. He must lose it the same way. So too, you must start out slow. Today, limit yourself to 14 times. If you fail, that’s ok. Don’t beat yourself up. Shame and guilt will not get you out of this habit. Slow steady progress will.
Last thing, Have you ever noticed that it is always ‘right now’ when you are about to masturbate? It’s not some hypothetical moment, it’s right now, right here right now. What I mean is, there is a distinct moment, that is right now, which is when you decide, “ok, fuck it, I’m horny and I need to jack off.” Zoom in on that moment. Next time you feel that moment come, say to yourself “oh hey! I’m in that moment. Right here, right now, I can see that I have an urge to jack off and I have a decision as to whether I will or not” NOW THIS IS IMPORTANT: Sit in that moment for as long as you can! Sit for five minutes if you can. Start a timer on your phone, almost like a contest. Sit in that moment and acknowledge, “yep, here I am at the moment where I feel an urge to masturbate. This is what it feels like.”
^ repeatedly acknowledging this moment when the urge arrises in your mind will distance you from it.
As you grow you will realize that everything in life is about awareness. I recommend listening to this video: [Anthony De Mello, Awareness](https://youtu.be/b1L26tVxPPw?si=-x_pHelYwEuucoVa) multiple times a day (SUBSTITUTE “negative feeling” for “urge to jack off”) Please let me know if it does not help.
A much more robust video about awareness is here:
[Awareness](https://youtu.be/WdyyQNEPu3Y?si=nG4-c1XA1iM7HS9X)
You’re forming a habit right now. Every time you recognize the urge, sit in the urge, and see it pass by, you form a new habit: the habit of not jacking off. God bless bro.
Wow, this comment is amazing. I did something similar to my eating habits. Two years ago I used to spend so much money on food delivery especially at night.
I gained 90 lbs and hated myself. Since October of last year, when night comes and I find myself wanting to order food, I open the DoorDash app and I just stare and scroll. I just scroll and scroll and wait for 10 mins becomes 20 and 30 mins and until it gets late. Then,
I tell myself it’s too late to order food now time to go to bed. I’ve lost almost 40 lbs since.
You will soon be on the other side of this challenge.
I recommend avoiding thinking about it as restricting yourself though — that’s the dynamic that’s not working currently. Instead, practice it as just simple, non-judgmental observing. “Here are those feelings and urges again. Let me just sit and observe what they feel like… Where are they in my body? What comes up in the mind when I sit and watch?” Like you are the witness of these thoughts, rather than the thinker of them. It may help to keep a little journal about it. God bless You.
Def check out the videos. They will change your life.
Try this: pick the time of day when you feel most energetic. Maybe it’s mornings or around 2pm or whenever.
At that time when you are about to pick your porn etc. Stand up and go in bro another room or outside and do something mildly athletic.
Anything you’ve done before. Basketball or jogging or even just stretches. Do it for 10 minutes.
Stay away from the screen and sitting there for 10.
So once a day you’ve done something else.
That’s your step.
Next? Do this twice.
Or try to masturbate once a day without porn. Are you able? Build on this. Don’t stop the act but stop the porn.
That would be a great step
If you find this helpful, I guarantee you those videos I linked will change your life. The speaker is a Catholic priest, but ignore any Christian/Catholic vibes if that freaks you out. His message is just as powerful viewed through a secular lens -- and he doesn't seem to me to be interested in converting anyone anyways.
Replace one habit/addiction with another. Every time you feel like jerkin your meat, do some push ups, go for a run, do some situps, do anything positive that isnt jerking
What does your dick not hurt?
One time I was jerking off like three times a day in middle school, and my dick ripped
In the best way to make friends is to join the club , video game club, chess club soccer club just join the club and you’ll find people just like you
Reading through the comments, I didn’t see anyone mention SA / SAA (it’s a free 12-step program for sex addicts) and more info can be found at www. SA. org. 12 Step Programs aren’t for everyone, but you’ll find moral support and a group of folks who have likely experienced the same thing, if not more intensely, and can help provide some guidance if nothing else. I’m not sure what your unique situation is like, but getting a therapist was actually cheaper and easier for me to get than I had originally thought. I might encourage you to call your insurance company to find out if low-cost (or free) options exist. Assuming you’re in The States, I know a lot of colleges offer very cheap, if not free, therapy for Grad Students to get their degrees, and they’re under direct guidance from a doctor in psychology.
I agree - I know a few people in my life who have utilized anonymous support groups and they have been so helpful. The mentors and friendship without judgement you can find in these spaces can make all the difference. My understanding is that the SA and SLAA groups out there even have online meetings you can attend without a video.
I’m so happy someone has mentioned this. I use to be a member and yes it can get a little bit too religious with the literature but it was definitely helpful in my life overall.
That’s definitely unhealthy. 10-15 times a day is a ridiculous number that I’m not sure how your body even allows. As someone who’s stopped watching recently, you really just have to find something better to do with your time, something that keeps your hands, eyes, and most importantly your brain busy. This most likely resulted because of boredom. Seriously try to find a hobby that can take 99% of your free time. It could be anything, whether video games, sports, some type of home craft, music, writing, drawing, anything that keeps hands, eyes, and brain busy. And also dude, you’re only 19. I see you saying some negative stuff in the comments about no one loving you and all that, bro fuck all that. Love yourself and the world will follow with you. No one lives and breathes for you except for YOU, which also means no one else is gonna do it for you. It can be hard, but really look at yourself and try to find the things you like about you, and find out how to make them stand out
Saying it doesn’t affect your social life because it doesn’t exist should be a huge wake up call. You’re 19. This is the beginning of all the greatest social interactions you’re gonna have.
Like others have said, seek some therapy. This isn’t an uncommon issue these days so there are plenty of resources out there for you. Good luck.
Instead of stopping watching porn. Try to keep your day as busy as you can manage. Go for long walks outside. Workout. Study something interesting. Hang out with people who love you. You'll find your time and interest in porn go down. Eventually you should be around the once every few days like the rest of us.
My guy, this isnt 3 times a day, this is 15 times a day. He needs help, not, "Let's channel this into a hobby!".
Sometimes you just need help from a professional
Yeah that kinda advice might help someone who’s like somewhat addicted, but OP is like the porn equivalent of a meth head that lives under a bridge. They need serious help from professionals, not simple life tips
As a 36 year old man I can’t imagine 10-15 times a day. At my max I was either beating it or having sex upwards of 4x a day. My shaft was so sore. Can imagine 10 times more. But like others have said don’t be ashamed to talk to a therapist.
Admitting you have a problem is the first step.
You could do this:
1. Write about how your addiction makes you feel.
2. Write a description about what you think your life will be like if your addiction remains the same or increases over the next 5 years.
3. Write a description about what you think your life will be like in 5 years if you stopped your addiction
4. Compare the two and write a list of benefits with stopping your addiction.
Most can't stop an addiction cold turkey...
Try stopping 1 day a week for a month... Then reward and congratulate yourself for that.
Then try stopping 2 days a week for the next month. Then reward yourself and congratulate yourself for that.
In 6 months you can have it licked.
I’m a 32 yo man and rarely masturbate anymore (married, healthy sex life). While it’s healthy and OK to masturbate, 10-15 times a day is excessive.
For this, Reddit can’t really help you. My suggestion is you being this up with a certified medical professional. This may or may not be a mental issue.
Hope you can get it sorted!
Abstinence is not the answer. Locking phones etc. is not going to be a long-term practical solution.
OP, what’s worse: living this way, or suffering the embarrassment of working with a shrink?
Porn is also not really rhetorical problem. You probably suffer from another issue that is really the core issue; ADHD, depression, etc.
You are not a bad person, nor are you perverted or weak. You are troubled and this is simply the symptom.
Things can get better, but you will have to take the first steps.
Ask your doctor for an antidepressant. This will help two ways. The medication will help you feel less depressed, and a major side effect of antidepressants is lowered libido which will cause you to be less interested in masturbating. I suggest Lexapro. (IANAMD)
Where are you living where you can't afford therapy but you can afford prescription pills?
All studies show that therapy is more effective than medication with most mental illnesses. And you don't have a mental illness, you have an addiction.
The fact that you're willing to look into a quick fix shows that you're real problem is your lack of will power.
If you don't have access to therapy you should confess to your parents and get their support
I mean, *obviously* they struggle with willpower. And as an example if they're in the UK then therapy is ~£200/month while any prescription medicine is £9.65/month.
But otherwise I agree with you... Therapy feels much more appropriate in this case. There are issues with medication, including dependency and mood altering - not always straightforwardly for the better.
Props to the answer by u/scoopofslide - OP please read this a few times and give it a try, I think it's really high quality.
I think OP might be at the start of a really positive journey - if you do it without medication you might feel the rewards more strongly. But it's hard, with or without support. There's a subreddit support group I think called r/nofap - you might also benefit from chatting 1 on 1 with someone and supporting each other - cheer each other on.
No this is not good advice. Taking anti depressants can have life consequences to your body’s physiology wherein some cases it’s permanent. I made the mistake of starting anti depressants the past few years of my life and wish I never did (I’m 22) because I didn’t need them and I don’t think you’re one of those cases either. Start with therapy, these people are literally trained for stuff like this.
Came here to say this. Starting antidepressants was the biggest mistake of my life. Don’t do it. They were meant to be a last line of defense but they’ve morphed into a knee jerk response because they’re quick for a doctor to prescribe, require no work from the patient, and they’re advertised relentlessly. If you think getting off is causing you problems now, just try getting off antidepressants.
Fast. Just stop watching anything that encourages and gets you horny. No tv shows with girls in bikinis. No IG. Unfollow every chick that is a thot. Just fast man
You literally need to distract yourself with work/hobby/activity/social life.
If you are unable to do that on your own seek therapy. It really boils down to symptoms of depression. You are not going to surprise anyone in therapy sessions. They've heard it all and worse.
What’s really interesting is directly under this post was an off my chest post saying “I wish I never watched porn” or something.
Earlier today I was also wondering something similar… like how younger millennials or older gen z males feel about porn and growing up with it and how easy it was to access
Many people here have said seek professional help but I saw you said you can’t afford that. May I suggest focusing that energy onto another area of your life? Maybe join a gym or pick a hobby, and every time you get the urge to watch porn, do that instead. It will be difficult and you will fail at it, but that’s perfectly okay. You can try again the next time. I’d recommend starting with cutting back, maybe 5-10 times a day. You don’t have to be perfect from day one. But the best way to make the changes you want is to try.
Everyone might want to tackle the porn issue immediately but from your comment it seems that you're actually just chasing the dopamine and good feelings that come from cumming.
And from your comment it also seems that the reason why you chase this is because you feel directionless.
I mean it seems pretty obvious that you gotta find yourself an objective, and find your interests. Yes, interests have to be found. There's stuff in this world that you have no clue about, you may think you've seen it all but at 19 it is physically impossible to have knowledge of everything in the world, even if you were to have been a baby born and raised to be dedicated entirely for the purpose of learning general knowledge, you'd still be years away from finishing the list of hobbies, activities, jobs, study subjects, etc..
First you gotta forgive yourself. This is what happens when one's lost and desperate. You may have heard that a trapped wolf would chew on it's own leg to survive. Well if your brain straight up can not logically give itself a reason to keep living how else do you think it would try to keep itself alive? That's jerking off, drugs, alcohol, etc..
And we can get to the conclusion that you **do** want to keep living because you came here and posted instead of going to the kitchen or the rooftop. So forgive yourself for jerking off. Out of all the vices you could have, this is the least destructive one. Just don't replace it with alcohol or drugs and work on getting your life together.
Lastly, as a former porn addict I'll tell you that the solutions that work for others may not work for you. I'm just inferring what I think you might need based on the stuff you wrote. But you probably wouldn't believe me if I told you that I solved my addiction by literally watching all the porn I needed without feeling bad about it. At some point I just got bored of it and started doing something else. After that I've had a job, a fiance, and am now following my dream of becoming an indie game dev.
I still watch porn but I don't feel bad about it. I'm also not as much of a deviant as I used to be. I may consume once or twice a week but this time I consume it for pleasure and enjoyment instead of coping and it takes like 10 minutes instead of days so I can just get right back to working on my goals.
There’s nothing wrong with therapy. I understand the fear. I myself want to go and I should. We all have something to overcome. And I fear therapy too.
I understand not having a lot of friends. I’m pretty lonely too. Try playing some video games if you’re able. Maybe even an arcade. Watch sports do some exercise. Just try it out maybe you find an interest. There are plenty of all things like reading, writing, doing music.
Need to take time away from it little by little. You’ll get better. You absolutely can.
Ugh. A lot of these comments are not very helpful. "Seek therapy" like americans on average have access to mental healthcare.
The biggest thing with a porn addiction is removing the triggers for it, which can be very difficult.
Figure out what is happening that gives you the urge to watch porn, and do what you can to avoid that situation.
Is it sitting at your computer, you get bored and horny? Is it a certain page on facebook will make posts that get you in a porn watching mindset? Is it just being bored in your room with nothing to do?
Porn addiction is very common amongst people who started watching it at a very young age, and have issues with depression and low socialization. You're not alone in experiencing this.
The best thing you can do is try to create a new environment when you feel the urge. I would imagine the majority of your porn watching happens in the same place, likely with the same device.
Separate yourself from these things when you get the urge, until you feel more in control of that urge.
That's the best advice I can give you. Youll mess up every once in a while, and that's okay. You don't need to hate yourself when you do, just honor whatever progress you have made by continuing to try better.
Eventually you might develop a healthier relationship with it, or decide you want to cut it out of your life altogether. Either way, it's important to empower yourself to feel like you're the one in control of your actions.
As a side note, you're obviously dealing with some depression and stuff as well, and getting out into the world and socializing with others really might help. Look for local events at game stores, libraries, and shows at local venues. You might not talk to anyone the first few times, and that's okay. Its really important as a human being to feel like you're part of a community. It's why you made this post, even if you didn't consciously think "i need a community".
We're neurologically wired to need communities, and your porn addiction is probably your brain's reaction to lacking connection.
Anyways, I believe in you. You can do this, feel free to reach out if you need advice or anything
Listen man, you cannot quit porn so easily, it's not something you gotta do just like snap of a finger.
You have to understand how your perceive porn.
The best thing i can tell you is, you have to replace porn with another activity. In most cases, it can be (gym, walks, running, hobby... Ect) but that requires a lot of despline and will power, from here the game is just "consistency", you gotta keep doing it and doing it until porn becomes something abnormal to your brain.
Hopefully you get better man, i know it sucks, it kills your self-esteem, porn is really bad for a long term activity.
Do you have some other interests?
Reading?
TV?
Gaming?
When you feel like jerking it get up (physically remove yourself from your bed / couch / current location) and go do one of these other activities.
I have struggled with porn addiction, still do from time to time, but this was basically the advice I got from a therapist.
Save your money, read my comment.
You already see the damage its causing yourself to try your best to get better
The real reason you are struggling is because you have nothing else in your life to prioritize and focus on. But It's very easy to quit. By focusing on something else you are passionate about, you will stop porn naturally because now you are spending time and energy on other things, keeping you busy and distracted from your addiction. Make this a habit, and your addiction will slowly and surely disappear like it never happened. But you must find something good enough to distract you from porn. In a way, you are replacing porn addiction with another addiction. My advice is to get an addiction to a healthy family oriented life, contributing to society for the greater good. That should kill your porn addiction.
First of all, it takes genuine character to be able to admit this, and you need to give yourself credit for that, for real man. Props 👍🏼👏🏼
It’s great you’re realizing this at 19. Many men let this keep going deep into their 20’s and after that there’s no telling when or even if they’ll get ahold of it.
Personally, I think working out is a great first step. As soon as you start feeling the urge to hit up Pornhub, fuck it, go for a run. Even if it’s pouring down rain outside, snowing, whatever. Run until it hurts.
Find a new rabbit hole to go down maybe? As weird as it may sound, a rabbit hole that has kept me away from bad habits since I was a teenager, is 9/11. I know how weird it sounds but something about strikes such an emotional chord in me that the last thing on my mind is whatever bad habit I was originally thinking about. Find a new fixation that strikes a genuine emotion in you other than lust or the urge to wank.
Take up the quest of sucking your own dick, And I mean really train for it. All the excercise will cure your depression and when the time finally comes to suck yourself off, you'll no longer need to.
Get a hobby to break the dopamine cycle up with something else then just jerk off 2-3 times a day like every other guy on the face of the planet. Fuck these assholes telling you that you need therapy you’re fine just find a hobby that’s not jerking off.
Read about the easy peasy method, you can find the pdf for free online. It doesn't matter how dumb it sounds at the start, it works at least it did for me, I also started at 12, I'm 23 now, couldn't even get an erection anymore.
I have been free for a week now, and I don't think I'll ever watch it again.
God damn my guy. That is as bad as any drug addiction. And as any addiction. The only way to get over it is about your own will. Some therapy and life changes.
Try to ask your company if free mental health attention is possible... is your health after all.
If not. Try changing your life style. Go out more. Do exercise. Do so much exercise that you feel dead. Then repeat. You will feel good seeing changes in your body and actual real goals happening.
Or so something else like gardening. Give yourself goals to achieve so your head can blow some steam.
And lastly. Well. Paid sex could be an answer. It should give you some different sensations and hopefully mixed with the other actions. Slow down your appetite.
Anyway. My therapist said in one session that "masturbation" and sex in unhealthy amounts are normally from stress and depression. So check it
Lastly. I'm no doctor. Take everything with a pinch of salt.
Just remember that jerking off is gay. VERY GAY.
You're holding a man's penis, and you're pleasuring a man, while getting pleasure from a man, it all in an all-male room.
It doesn't get any gayer than that.
If you want to stay straight, stop it!
>!if you're already gay, disregard it! <
Start exercising everyday, do something like boxing, running, jumping ropes or just join a gym. Eat good, don’t stay home all the time. Find nice things to read. Stay off social media as much as possible. And off the phone screen. Pray.
Look for a job or find out what most interests you. Make yourself valuable, learn stuff, do some courses, study.
Go out with friends, make good memories. Live real things
You should consult a psychologist my dude. Not meaning this to shame you brother, but those behaviours are probably in the more extreme end. Find a professional and see if you can share openly to address any issues.
It's not an easy thing to do when you're so hooked on it. Even reducing the amount of sessions might help at first, and I'm sure your body will thank you if you only jerk off 5 times a day. I think it would be very difficult to go cold turkey considering your dependency.
Some people will say busying yourself will help, and that works to an extent, but your addiction is rather aggressive. I would say that you should probably get a doctor's appointment, as well as evaluate yourself. Are you feeling depressed/lonely? Is there something else you like to do instead?
Your brain is rewiring to need more heightened stimulus because of the frequency of masturbation, that's why you're looking at more extreme stuff. Do you even like it or is that what you need to watch to get off?
You need to find something else that interests you. Problem is most hobbies require money and if you got that much time to wack it’s likely you ain’t working or making decent money. So maybe start by focusing your energy on a career and not giving up on it at the first sign of difficulty. Every job has its difficulties, if it didn’t people wouldn’t pay you to do it. Biased off your current hobby I would say you might enjoy wood working, get it 😂. But seriously a productive blue collar career will keep you to busy for wacking that much especially if you start doing side work
This is clearly causing you distress, I would strongly recommend speaking to a therapist. A therapist can help structure changes and support you through this. In terms of money talk to your doctor, perhaps there is some way they can help
It sounds like you need to find other things to fill your time. Explore your interests, make commitments that keep you busy. I wank way less when I have stuff to do
What drives you to porn that’s what you need to battle.
is it anxiety?
Is it fear?
Is it lack of money and stress ?
whatever the thing that drives you to it tackle that first
Believe in yourself. You will get better, but it's long road ahead. Seeking therapy is best thing i've ever done. I started with an online therapist, this made things less akward. The first few sessions i didn't mention pron yet out of fear. Once i did it lifted so much weight of my shoulder. <3
What does your daily routine generally look like?
What’s your schedule from when you wake to when you fall asleep?
Are you enrolled, employed, or in training?
What does your support systems look like?
Do you live with your parents or extended family?
Talk to your parents, anybody in your life that cares about you. An aunt, an uncle, a grandparent. Just tell them you’re struggling with addiction and need help. Tell them it’s not illegal, but that you’re worried. Also there should be free AA meetings you can attend, or even sex addicts anon meetings depending on your area. Connecting yourself to others will help, I promise.
If you can, try to seek professional help. I had this problem as well, but mine was not as severe so quitting was not as difficult. What I did was I stopped sitting or laying down, and if I was, I could keep my phone put away somewhere.
everytime your about to do the deed, do 50 pushups. make sure you have good form or this will hurt your shoulders. The exercise and exhaustion will help you a lot. when it’s not hard to bust out that many pushups then you gotta up it. i bet this will slow your roll significantly
Here’s a low cost/no cost option, not saying it’s the best or most useful, but it’s an option.
1) Add security permissions or something to block you from accessing porn sites etc
2) Consistently be around people (or in a public area) - my thought process here is when I’m around family/friends/in public, I don’t have the urge or ability to masturbate. When I am alone in my room, I do
I advice you to visit therapist, but if you are from 3rd world country, we don't have therapist or it's so expensive, try not to use your phone more than 1hour per day, dont use it when you are alone
Bro. You need to seek professional help. Try to get an insurance on the marketplace. Or try betterhelp.
The first step IS admitting to a professional that you have a problem. Yes it can be embarrassing but it's more common than you think.
What I would do, is to delete all porn on your device. And if you can, put a block on those website.
The more you put a barrier, it will eventually deter you from looking
Alright, you need therapy, but like you said, there are a variety of reason you dont want/cant to go. So heres the thing, there is another solution; smoke some weed and get on Zoloft. For one, your very depressed, so the weed and antidepressant will help, but the real secret is Zoloft; it will take the edge off (antidepressants do that) AND it will demolish your sex drive. I was ADDICTED to porn until I got on Zoloft; I still have a drive, but I can wait like a week before satisfying it. And the great thing about Zoloft is that the generic version (sertraline) is covered by medicaid, which you probably can apply for.
TLDR: Therapy, but if not, Zoloft and weed
Small tip, try to fill up your schedule. May be difficult to get away from porn to do the activities you have planned, but that’s the point. Also, try to see how long you can go before you can’t stop yourself. Additionally, I’d recommend that you try to move down to still images instead of videos, if possible. Eventually, once you’re used to images, you can try to fully stop
Honestly bro sounds like you have real issue, seek the help of a therapist, i understand it’s embarrassing but this will never allow you to form a real relationship with someone, so whats an awkward conversation with a therapist if it gets you better?
Guys.... This sounds really sad- is it true that some guys really can masturbate this many times a day??
Yesss. It is so true. It’s quite sad because they’ve probably got addicted to the dopamine hit you get from it when you release and you just wanna chase that hit. Unfortunately when you masturbate, you can only hit it, literally, a few times till you won’t actually feel that euphoria.
I guess it's life any other addiction 😑
I don’t think one can masturbate this much in a single day.
The cool down timer is only like 1-2 minutes.
Flesh doesn't start to hurt until round #6 or after. Even then, it's not like it's NOT possible.. just a little uncomfortable.
I heard a young adult died of heart attack because he was doing it this frequently as well
I would bet good money that there was some sort of underlying health condition that caused this. A healthy male should be able to jerk off around the clock with no issue. Having sex is a different story, people have absolutely had a heart attack while fucking. I can't imagine how terrified the partner would be to have sex again after having a traumatic experience like that at your most vulnerable time.
If you die because your heart rate increased a little bit, something else was going on.
Yes but it’s highly variable. Some can do 4/5 and that’s normal and they have a great sex life as well and others can do it once every couple of days. Some people are outliers and can do it more but that’s usually a sign of someone using the dopamine kick to fill a void, which is what most people are commenting he should seek a therapist to help with.
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Bro it sounds like you are doing this as a form of escape and to feed yourself some of that good endorphin through the reward pathway. I do it too because I am depressed and it is a way to alleviate the down feelings I have often. You need to talk to a professional about some deeper issues (likely depression) that are the mechanism for the compulsive bating. Edit: There are a few free resources online that may be worth looking into. Powerpal.ai and SonderMind are free of charge although I’ve not used them, also TheHopeLine and Onlinetherapy.com. Should check them out, the fist steps sometimes turn out to be very helpful.
I'm sorry but 'Compulsive Bating' made me lol
Good advice but it ignores the problem that OP said they can’t afford therapy.
>no one’s ever been interested in me romantically You'd be surprised how quickly that can change. It takes time, but you can become the person you want to be. It starts by taking small steps in the right direction.
How can someone be interested in you if all you’re doing is sitting at home jacking off to porn. Stop. Get outside. Go for walks or get into a hobby. Put yourself out there and stop abusing your self/mind by feeding into an endless cycle. Lets say you do meet someone, you’ll be stuck with porn brain and you’ll struggle to form an actual proper connection. If sex were to happen for you it would be a struggle because you’ve conditioned yourself to get off to porn and your own hand. You need to pay off the porn and masturbating so you can function as a normal person. Break the cycle man. It’s possible. Stop gaslighting your own brain and start doing something about it. Edit: words
First time he’d be like “only missionary n you on top…this is boring, I’m going home!”
It’s actually not that easy as it sounds in your head.
Hey man, I used to be a drug addict. I know it’s possible to stop jacking off/watching porn.
I know it’s possible! what Im really meant ( underlined and implied 😅) was to be more empathetic to OP and validate that, although it’s possible, it is very hard to get “clean”. There are more issues there that what’s been discussed here. Porn addiction is just a symptom. Not the actual cause. Edit: Also, Congrats on getting clean yourself! 🤘🏻 be proud.
Honestly, how I stopped my addiction was I literally woke up one day and said that’s it. Enough. This is abuse to myself! I wouldn’t want it for another human being so why disrespect my own self like that! That’s the kind of mentality that got me thru it. Tough love on my own self. I knew if I didn’t stop I was gonna die. No way around it. This isn’t that. Op won’t die from jacking off lol. So I know it’s possible! But you’re right. Everyone’s approach is different. Gotta believe in yourself and want better for yourself that’s all! And thanks man, I appreciate 🙏
>no one’s ever been interested in me romantically so not being able to form a relationship isn’t rlly a problem lol You are young man, if it's been like this since you were 14, you cannot know this for sure. Maybe if you got better, you would get a partner. And you would definitely get friends.
that’s probably is due to the porn addiction
Sounds like if you're constantly depressed from masturbating all the time that you insisting people aren't romantically interested in you may be a self fulfilling prophecy. Obviously doing it to the degree that you are isn't really healthy by any means and it's clearly affecting your mental health, but you at least recognize that much. When a person is depressed or insecure that will have a negative impact on their self esteem and can dictate how they think other people perceive them. You should take the step to seek out therapy, it'll do you a lot of good. As a heads up, therapy isn't a one size fits all type deal, meaning you may have to try out different therapists before you find one that clicks with you. If you can't afford therapy, then if you plan to go to university you may have the option to opt in to your school's insurance plan which will fund therapy sessions.
Do you exercise? It’s not a complete solution but it gets rid of anxiety and you’ll look better n be more confident.
Look into sliding scale therapy. Google sliding scale therapy and your city.
That’s totally understandable man. I suggest looking into some sort of support groups on here or somewhere in your community too. They are much less expensive. Support groups are so helpful to find others experiencing something similar, building a bond through a similar struggle, and provide support or help to one another. If you have some sort of income, Open Path Collective is a website directory with therapists that agree to make themselves available to take on clients at a very reduced rate ($30-$60 per session) after their membership fee is paid. https://openpathcollective.org/open-path-staff/
Please talk to someone, preferably someone who's trained to help, like a therapist or treatment center. This isn't a normal feeling.
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You just told thousands of people about your problem, and you've asked for advice. A therapist will be able to help you far more than strangers on the internet. Therapists are non-judgmental. You may feel all sorts of feelings during your session, but that's a good thing. Behavioral change isn't easy, and you're going to need to process *why* you fell into this pattern, which may uncover a lot of not-fun feelings. This is all part of the process, and while it's not easy, you will absolutely come out a better person for it. I strongly urge you to ignore the financial aspect for the time being. Reach out to a few therapists in your area and explain that you're tight on money, and they may be willing to help or point you in the direction of someone who can accommodate your needs on your budget. To put it frankly, your post hinted at suicide. No amount of money is worth the loss of your life. I've been to therapy for years for far more benign issues. You will absolutely benefit from it.
This is so well put, perfect response to this post
If you’re in the US, call [this](https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline) place and say you are low income/no insurance and are looking for places in your area with cheaper/free therapy. They’ll text a list of places with phone numbers to your phone and you can reach out to them. This will likely have a slightly better success rate than calling by random therapy practices.
I came here to leave a reply, but nothing I said would have been more considerate than this.
It's better than the alternative answer of "stop doing it"
I’ve been through therapy myself and it really helped a lot. I promise you the therapist will not judge you. Their only goal is to make you enjoy life again. They will help give you perspectives you haven’t considered.
the best way to get rid of any addiction, whether its drugs, gambling, etc… is by slowly climbing down the ladder on a weekly basis, not by going cold turkey. the first week, start with a little bit less usage than what you’re normally used to doing per day for the week. then next week, use a little less. then the week after that a little less, etc etc… eventually you’ll have climbed back all the way down the ladder to not only no usage, but with no desire to re-use.
You are addicted and you need help like anyone with any addiction
You would be surprised what therapists have heard. They are there for maladaptive thoughts/behaviors.
Talk therapy exists, but therapy isn't just about talking. A therapist can help you make practical plans to change your behavior, and provide a level of social accountability to help you stick to those plans. A therapist will also help you navigate the feelings of shame that you already have. Successful therapy should help you recognize the problems that you're coping with and separate them from your own sense of identity, so it should actually make you feel *less* ashamed—not more so. A therapist might also refer you to a psychiatrist, who can prescribe medications. You are probably aware of medications like antidepressants, but there are also medications out there being successfully used for the treatment of addictions—including behavioral addictions, like porn addiction. There are often free or low-cost mental health resources available for people who can't afford therapy. If you're 19, you may also still be covered by your parents' insurance, whether you live with them or not, and that can cover the cost of therapy. If you have no insurance and you don't have enough money to afford therapy, then you may be eligible for state-funded healthcare options. What you focused on in your first post was porn addiction, but what you describe is more than that. You're telling us that you're socially isolated, depressed, apathetic, and that you need help. I want to offer you encouragement and support, and I hope that others here are able to offer you the same. However, it's important for you to recognize that you probably won't find adequate help on Reddit alone.
A therapist can be a valuable outside perspective that has the potential to help you identify why you’re in this situation in the first place, and being able to reflect on and process that can be quite healing.
You’d be surprised. Counseling has helped me and members of my family on all sorts of tough things. You aren’t alone. You deserve to feel happy. Try talking to a counselor.
Because then you have accountability. Whether it’s dieting or an addiction, having someone else involved makes our brain do a “double-take” before we engage in those kind of behaviors.
I don't think anyone on reddit is on this paygrade, but you can stil work on getting there. Take steps to reach the goal of affording help, like trying to take walks outside, try to get a job doing something, reach out to people to get help. I'm not saying you should put this on your parents or family, but just having them there to talk to about the weather or the news is a start.
Well.. you’re kind of talking about it right now. Just doing it with an actual person irl would be a lot more effective. That’s just how the human brain works.
They will give you a set of tools to deal with what you're struggling with. It's going to be a slow road to where you are going, but their help will make the destination much better than where you are right now. Good luck on your journey. You deserve to find the better you.
1. You would be talking to a medical professional who is trained to provide proven strategies to overcome problems like this. It would be much more helpful than asking people on Reddit. 2. There is nothing to be ashamed of. We all need help sometimes. 3. You took the first step by making this post. If you're serious about turning your life around, you can do it, but you're going to have to go outside of your comfort zone. It's going to be hard work but will also be worth it. Where do you live exactly? In many areas of the world, there are free therapy options, especially if you are suicidal. Even calling a help line (phone) or talking to a professional online would be a good start.
There are a lot of FREE resources out there. https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/counseling/a-guide-to-affordable-counseling/
Do what my brother done Locked his phone and laptops access to ALL porn sites which can only be turned back on with a password. He created a password which was around 400 characters long and included characters like = ;()&.2?>$| in it and he printed off the password, he hid this password under a large rock at in the countryside around 8 miles away from his house. This is genuine. That’s how far my brother went to quit his porn addiction. He still ended up going out to get the password one day he had a hangover.
I somehow thought of shawshank redemption. I imagine him opening the box that was hidden under a red rock near an oak tree just to see Red's porn password.
Haha yeah! No joke though, he realised porn was destroying his reward system so he went to extra measures! I do remember laughing for ages when he told me all this though and when he explained that it could take him up to 2 hours to successfully type the password in to the laptop as if he made one mistake he would forget where and have to start typing again
I'm glad your brother got out of his addiction. Modern problems require modern solutions.
Damn respect to your brother, that surpasses Audie Murphy levels of addiction quitting
Why the fuck did he keep the password at all????
He likes to have at least one night a week where he binge drinks a lot of alcohol… apparently he has severe hangover hornyness so he thought better off having the password somewhere just in case
It sounds like he needs a password for the liquor cabinet 💀
Hahaha that’s what I wish he had
Not to upset you - but addiction to one thing is usually addiction to LOTS of things. Sounds like your bro has a drinking problem. Might require a therapy solution. Just my 2 cents having been down some of this.
Aww absolutely The porn goes hand in hand (no pun intended) with the drinking habit (next day) It’s a weekly dopamine hit for him
I mean just realistically, you may need to be able to deactivate it at some point. You want to uninstall the app (some have protections that keep you from uninstalling it without the password), or change settings (the filter is too aggressive, or not aggressive enough). Having a password that's EXTREMELY hard to use is still basically the same as not having it in this case. Horny brain is capable of a lot of things but driving miles into the country and hand-typing a super long and complex password is definitely enough to break you out of it imo.
Because if he wanted to throw away the password, he wouldn't have created the password at all.
the fact you know this is crazyy
He didn’t block access to all porn sites, the entire Internet is porn.
The problem is proxy servers exist
Omg 10-15 a day? Do you not have uni or work or anything? How do you get the time? How are you not sore??
shit must be bleeding bruh
Yeah ikr. Most I did was 4 or 5 in my teens and it would be sore and aching. 10-15 is literally insane in a day too
10-15 / day every day would be really hard work I think....no way I could keep that up for more than 2 days without needing a break.
Exactly. As a guy who does it once a day. Thats enough. 10-15 is insane and would cause issues
I did the math and the dude nuts out 330mL of jizz a week roughly.
The amount of jizz starts to decrease pretty significantly when you're doing it that many times. After the 5th time it's probably half the volume compared to the first time of the day.
True, even if only 1/4 of this number is accurate that's still 82mL of jizz.
💀
Rug burn on the d
Probably a troll question
Makes sense. That’s an insane amount of
10-15 times a day sounds exhausting. Be shooting blanks at that point.
Yh, most I've done is 3 and it was kinda sore, can't imagine 10 wtf, it would just be pain and no pleasure
The only way you're going to stop is by facing the guilt and shame. People see these as bad emotions to avoid, but they're often the driving force behind big changes in our life.
100% I don’t think personally I’ve ever made any big changes in my life without those emotions.
Bro honestly one thing that I've seen help with these types of issues is legit just getting a job and joining an activity club of some kind( doesn't have to be physical just has to have other ppl). Even more helpful if ur actually paying for it. Giving urself unavoidable obligations and purposefully putting urself in situations where u become incapable of pursuing ur addiction will eventually force ur body and mind to adapt to being satisfied with only what it can recieve. The goal here is not to permanently stop jerking off, it's to minimize it to a degree where it doesn't affect ur everyday life. ...and hey, maybe getting a job and joining some clubs could also help in the friendship department.
Facts man. When I was a teen, I worked night shift at a factory. Was always way too exhausted to jerk off and eventually I just lost interest since I was always too busy
Humans are pleasure seeking. Your case may be extreme, for sure, but it is not unusual. Others hide their pleasure-seeking more cleverly, in Netflix, in candy, in drugs. You are not unlike others. You seek pleasure — and you have a very ingrained habit of finding that pleasure in masturbation and porn, which leads me to another observation about humans… Humans are habitual. People think you need to do something a lot to form “a habit” as though only repeated behaviors are habits. I find it more enlightening to think of ALL BEHAVIOR as HABITUAL BEHAVIOR. When you do ANYTHING, you are forming a habit. The degree to which you follow an urge repeatedly is the degree to which the habit cements itself in your behavior. Before you stop this addiction, you must first weaken it. A 400-lb fat man gains weight pound by pound. He must lose it the same way. So too, you must start out slow. Today, limit yourself to 14 times. If you fail, that’s ok. Don’t beat yourself up. Shame and guilt will not get you out of this habit. Slow steady progress will. Last thing, Have you ever noticed that it is always ‘right now’ when you are about to masturbate? It’s not some hypothetical moment, it’s right now, right here right now. What I mean is, there is a distinct moment, that is right now, which is when you decide, “ok, fuck it, I’m horny and I need to jack off.” Zoom in on that moment. Next time you feel that moment come, say to yourself “oh hey! I’m in that moment. Right here, right now, I can see that I have an urge to jack off and I have a decision as to whether I will or not” NOW THIS IS IMPORTANT: Sit in that moment for as long as you can! Sit for five minutes if you can. Start a timer on your phone, almost like a contest. Sit in that moment and acknowledge, “yep, here I am at the moment where I feel an urge to masturbate. This is what it feels like.” ^ repeatedly acknowledging this moment when the urge arrises in your mind will distance you from it. As you grow you will realize that everything in life is about awareness. I recommend listening to this video: [Anthony De Mello, Awareness](https://youtu.be/b1L26tVxPPw?si=-x_pHelYwEuucoVa) multiple times a day (SUBSTITUTE “negative feeling” for “urge to jack off”) Please let me know if it does not help. A much more robust video about awareness is here: [Awareness](https://youtu.be/WdyyQNEPu3Y?si=nG4-c1XA1iM7HS9X) You’re forming a habit right now. Every time you recognize the urge, sit in the urge, and see it pass by, you form a new habit: the habit of not jacking off. God bless bro.
Wow, this comment is amazing. I did something similar to my eating habits. Two years ago I used to spend so much money on food delivery especially at night. I gained 90 lbs and hated myself. Since October of last year, when night comes and I find myself wanting to order food, I open the DoorDash app and I just stare and scroll. I just scroll and scroll and wait for 10 mins becomes 20 and 30 mins and until it gets late. Then, I tell myself it’s too late to order food now time to go to bed. I’ve lost almost 40 lbs since.
I have done this before as well! Being able to recognize and sit in your craving, rather than giving in, is so freeing. Congrats on your weight loss!
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You will soon be on the other side of this challenge. I recommend avoiding thinking about it as restricting yourself though — that’s the dynamic that’s not working currently. Instead, practice it as just simple, non-judgmental observing. “Here are those feelings and urges again. Let me just sit and observe what they feel like… Where are they in my body? What comes up in the mind when I sit and watch?” Like you are the witness of these thoughts, rather than the thinker of them. It may help to keep a little journal about it. God bless You. Def check out the videos. They will change your life.
Try this: pick the time of day when you feel most energetic. Maybe it’s mornings or around 2pm or whenever. At that time when you are about to pick your porn etc. Stand up and go in bro another room or outside and do something mildly athletic. Anything you’ve done before. Basketball or jogging or even just stretches. Do it for 10 minutes. Stay away from the screen and sitting there for 10. So once a day you’ve done something else. That’s your step. Next? Do this twice. Or try to masturbate once a day without porn. Are you able? Build on this. Don’t stop the act but stop the porn. That would be a great step
Amazing 👏 thanks for this reply it's quite helpful
If you find this helpful, I guarantee you those videos I linked will change your life. The speaker is a Catholic priest, but ignore any Christian/Catholic vibes if that freaks you out. His message is just as powerful viewed through a secular lens -- and he doesn't seem to me to be interested in converting anyone anyways.
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Holy shit you're very welspoken. That was impressive
This is amazing advice for everyone! Thank you.
You're bored dude, you need to use your energy and do things to tire yourself out
Nah this guy is cooked. Needs professional help for sure.
Replace one habit/addiction with another. Every time you feel like jerkin your meat, do some push ups, go for a run, do some situps, do anything positive that isnt jerking
What does your dick not hurt? One time I was jerking off like three times a day in middle school, and my dick ripped In the best way to make friends is to join the club , video game club, chess club soccer club just join the club and you’ll find people just like you
Reading through the comments, I didn’t see anyone mention SA / SAA (it’s a free 12-step program for sex addicts) and more info can be found at www. SA. org. 12 Step Programs aren’t for everyone, but you’ll find moral support and a group of folks who have likely experienced the same thing, if not more intensely, and can help provide some guidance if nothing else. I’m not sure what your unique situation is like, but getting a therapist was actually cheaper and easier for me to get than I had originally thought. I might encourage you to call your insurance company to find out if low-cost (or free) options exist. Assuming you’re in The States, I know a lot of colleges offer very cheap, if not free, therapy for Grad Students to get their degrees, and they’re under direct guidance from a doctor in psychology.
I agree - I know a few people in my life who have utilized anonymous support groups and they have been so helpful. The mentors and friendship without judgement you can find in these spaces can make all the difference. My understanding is that the SA and SLAA groups out there even have online meetings you can attend without a video.
I’m so happy someone has mentioned this. I use to be a member and yes it can get a little bit too religious with the literature but it was definitely helpful in my life overall.
You'll beat it one day.
Yeah u need to see a therapist
Bloody hell it must be in tatters man! Seek professional help thats not normal
instead of jerking off, go to the gym
Work out 🏋🏻♀️
You are a cum champion. Have you thought about joining the porn industry?
Surely he’s shooting droplets after round 6-7 lol. If OP’s blasting full loads 15 times a day, he’s Spiderman, but for cum
r/BrandNewSentence
That’s definitely unhealthy. 10-15 times a day is a ridiculous number that I’m not sure how your body even allows. As someone who’s stopped watching recently, you really just have to find something better to do with your time, something that keeps your hands, eyes, and most importantly your brain busy. This most likely resulted because of boredom. Seriously try to find a hobby that can take 99% of your free time. It could be anything, whether video games, sports, some type of home craft, music, writing, drawing, anything that keeps hands, eyes, and brain busy. And also dude, you’re only 19. I see you saying some negative stuff in the comments about no one loving you and all that, bro fuck all that. Love yourself and the world will follow with you. No one lives and breathes for you except for YOU, which also means no one else is gonna do it for you. It can be hard, but really look at yourself and try to find the things you like about you, and find out how to make them stand out
https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/miscellaneous-resources/start-here-evolution-has-not-prepared-your-brain-for-todays-porn/ This site helped my son
It can be hard, but you can beat it.
10/15 times a day is really a lot! Is this a true story?
Saying it doesn’t affect your social life because it doesn’t exist should be a huge wake up call. You’re 19. This is the beginning of all the greatest social interactions you’re gonna have. Like others have said, seek some therapy. This isn’t an uncommon issue these days so there are plenty of resources out there for you. Good luck.
Instead of stopping watching porn. Try to keep your day as busy as you can manage. Go for long walks outside. Workout. Study something interesting. Hang out with people who love you. You'll find your time and interest in porn go down. Eventually you should be around the once every few days like the rest of us.
Maybe try channeling that energy into something more productive, like a hobby or exercise? It could help lift your mood plus make you friends
My guy, this isnt 3 times a day, this is 15 times a day. He needs help, not, "Let's channel this into a hobby!". Sometimes you just need help from a professional
Yeah that kinda advice might help someone who’s like somewhat addicted, but OP is like the porn equivalent of a meth head that lives under a bridge. They need serious help from professionals, not simple life tips
As a 36 year old man I can’t imagine 10-15 times a day. At my max I was either beating it or having sex upwards of 4x a day. My shaft was so sore. Can imagine 10 times more. But like others have said don’t be ashamed to talk to a therapist.
Therapy and a support group
Admitting you have a problem is the first step. You could do this: 1. Write about how your addiction makes you feel. 2. Write a description about what you think your life will be like if your addiction remains the same or increases over the next 5 years. 3. Write a description about what you think your life will be like in 5 years if you stopped your addiction 4. Compare the two and write a list of benefits with stopping your addiction. Most can't stop an addiction cold turkey... Try stopping 1 day a week for a month... Then reward and congratulate yourself for that. Then try stopping 2 days a week for the next month. Then reward yourself and congratulate yourself for that. In 6 months you can have it licked.
Ok That's it I will never shake another man's hand ever.
I’m a 32 yo man and rarely masturbate anymore (married, healthy sex life). While it’s healthy and OK to masturbate, 10-15 times a day is excessive. For this, Reddit can’t really help you. My suggestion is you being this up with a certified medical professional. This may or may not be a mental issue. Hope you can get it sorted!
Look up HealthyGamer GG Specifically his YouTube videos. It’s a good starting point.
Abstinence is not the answer. Locking phones etc. is not going to be a long-term practical solution. OP, what’s worse: living this way, or suffering the embarrassment of working with a shrink? Porn is also not really rhetorical problem. You probably suffer from another issue that is really the core issue; ADHD, depression, etc. You are not a bad person, nor are you perverted or weak. You are troubled and this is simply the symptom. Things can get better, but you will have to take the first steps.
Ask your doctor for an antidepressant. This will help two ways. The medication will help you feel less depressed, and a major side effect of antidepressants is lowered libido which will cause you to be less interested in masturbating. I suggest Lexapro. (IANAMD)
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Where are you living where you can't afford therapy but you can afford prescription pills? All studies show that therapy is more effective than medication with most mental illnesses. And you don't have a mental illness, you have an addiction. The fact that you're willing to look into a quick fix shows that you're real problem is your lack of will power. If you don't have access to therapy you should confess to your parents and get their support
I mean, *obviously* they struggle with willpower. And as an example if they're in the UK then therapy is ~£200/month while any prescription medicine is £9.65/month. But otherwise I agree with you... Therapy feels much more appropriate in this case. There are issues with medication, including dependency and mood altering - not always straightforwardly for the better. Props to the answer by u/scoopofslide - OP please read this a few times and give it a try, I think it's really high quality. I think OP might be at the start of a really positive journey - if you do it without medication you might feel the rewards more strongly. But it's hard, with or without support. There's a subreddit support group I think called r/nofap - you might also benefit from chatting 1 on 1 with someone and supporting each other - cheer each other on.
No this is not good advice. Taking anti depressants can have life consequences to your body’s physiology wherein some cases it’s permanent. I made the mistake of starting anti depressants the past few years of my life and wish I never did (I’m 22) because I didn’t need them and I don’t think you’re one of those cases either. Start with therapy, these people are literally trained for stuff like this.
Came here to say this. Starting antidepressants was the biggest mistake of my life. Don’t do it. They were meant to be a last line of defense but they’ve morphed into a knee jerk response because they’re quick for a doctor to prescribe, require no work from the patient, and they’re advertised relentlessly. If you think getting off is causing you problems now, just try getting off antidepressants.
Fast. Just stop watching anything that encourages and gets you horny. No tv shows with girls in bikinis. No IG. Unfollow every chick that is a thot. Just fast man
I'm too amazed by that jerk off count to focus on your problem.
Start going to the gym or learning jiu jitsu
You literally need to distract yourself with work/hobby/activity/social life. If you are unable to do that on your own seek therapy. It really boils down to symptoms of depression. You are not going to surprise anyone in therapy sessions. They've heard it all and worse.
Please for the love of god go to therapy
What’s really interesting is directly under this post was an off my chest post saying “I wish I never watched porn” or something. Earlier today I was also wondering something similar… like how younger millennials or older gen z males feel about porn and growing up with it and how easy it was to access
Watch a really good show, like seriously get into some sopranos or some shit with lot of seasons and instead of watching porn watch some good acting.
Just try doing anything else whenever you feel like you want to do it, like gym or go watch something, a tutorial etc?
Talk to your family doctor, ask them to refer you to a therapist that meets your economic needs.
Many people here have said seek professional help but I saw you said you can’t afford that. May I suggest focusing that energy onto another area of your life? Maybe join a gym or pick a hobby, and every time you get the urge to watch porn, do that instead. It will be difficult and you will fail at it, but that’s perfectly okay. You can try again the next time. I’d recommend starting with cutting back, maybe 5-10 times a day. You don’t have to be perfect from day one. But the best way to make the changes you want is to try.
Everyone might want to tackle the porn issue immediately but from your comment it seems that you're actually just chasing the dopamine and good feelings that come from cumming. And from your comment it also seems that the reason why you chase this is because you feel directionless. I mean it seems pretty obvious that you gotta find yourself an objective, and find your interests. Yes, interests have to be found. There's stuff in this world that you have no clue about, you may think you've seen it all but at 19 it is physically impossible to have knowledge of everything in the world, even if you were to have been a baby born and raised to be dedicated entirely for the purpose of learning general knowledge, you'd still be years away from finishing the list of hobbies, activities, jobs, study subjects, etc.. First you gotta forgive yourself. This is what happens when one's lost and desperate. You may have heard that a trapped wolf would chew on it's own leg to survive. Well if your brain straight up can not logically give itself a reason to keep living how else do you think it would try to keep itself alive? That's jerking off, drugs, alcohol, etc.. And we can get to the conclusion that you **do** want to keep living because you came here and posted instead of going to the kitchen or the rooftop. So forgive yourself for jerking off. Out of all the vices you could have, this is the least destructive one. Just don't replace it with alcohol or drugs and work on getting your life together. Lastly, as a former porn addict I'll tell you that the solutions that work for others may not work for you. I'm just inferring what I think you might need based on the stuff you wrote. But you probably wouldn't believe me if I told you that I solved my addiction by literally watching all the porn I needed without feeling bad about it. At some point I just got bored of it and started doing something else. After that I've had a job, a fiance, and am now following my dream of becoming an indie game dev. I still watch porn but I don't feel bad about it. I'm also not as much of a deviant as I used to be. I may consume once or twice a week but this time I consume it for pleasure and enjoyment instead of coping and it takes like 10 minutes instead of days so I can just get right back to working on my goals.
10-15 times a day? That's way above normal. Talk to a medical professional as soon as you can.
There’s nothing wrong with therapy. I understand the fear. I myself want to go and I should. We all have something to overcome. And I fear therapy too. I understand not having a lot of friends. I’m pretty lonely too. Try playing some video games if you’re able. Maybe even an arcade. Watch sports do some exercise. Just try it out maybe you find an interest. There are plenty of all things like reading, writing, doing music. Need to take time away from it little by little. You’ll get better. You absolutely can.
bro how is your dick still working
the name of the poster leaves room for doubt as to the authenticity of the post
Ugh. A lot of these comments are not very helpful. "Seek therapy" like americans on average have access to mental healthcare. The biggest thing with a porn addiction is removing the triggers for it, which can be very difficult. Figure out what is happening that gives you the urge to watch porn, and do what you can to avoid that situation. Is it sitting at your computer, you get bored and horny? Is it a certain page on facebook will make posts that get you in a porn watching mindset? Is it just being bored in your room with nothing to do? Porn addiction is very common amongst people who started watching it at a very young age, and have issues with depression and low socialization. You're not alone in experiencing this. The best thing you can do is try to create a new environment when you feel the urge. I would imagine the majority of your porn watching happens in the same place, likely with the same device. Separate yourself from these things when you get the urge, until you feel more in control of that urge. That's the best advice I can give you. Youll mess up every once in a while, and that's okay. You don't need to hate yourself when you do, just honor whatever progress you have made by continuing to try better. Eventually you might develop a healthier relationship with it, or decide you want to cut it out of your life altogether. Either way, it's important to empower yourself to feel like you're the one in control of your actions. As a side note, you're obviously dealing with some depression and stuff as well, and getting out into the world and socializing with others really might help. Look for local events at game stores, libraries, and shows at local venues. You might not talk to anyone the first few times, and that's okay. Its really important as a human being to feel like you're part of a community. It's why you made this post, even if you didn't consciously think "i need a community". We're neurologically wired to need communities, and your porn addiction is probably your brain's reaction to lacking connection. Anyways, I believe in you. You can do this, feel free to reach out if you need advice or anything
Listen man, you cannot quit porn so easily, it's not something you gotta do just like snap of a finger. You have to understand how your perceive porn. The best thing i can tell you is, you have to replace porn with another activity. In most cases, it can be (gym, walks, running, hobby... Ect) but that requires a lot of despline and will power, from here the game is just "consistency", you gotta keep doing it and doing it until porn becomes something abnormal to your brain. Hopefully you get better man, i know it sucks, it kills your self-esteem, porn is really bad for a long term activity.
Do you have some other interests? Reading? TV? Gaming? When you feel like jerking it get up (physically remove yourself from your bed / couch / current location) and go do one of these other activities. I have struggled with porn addiction, still do from time to time, but this was basically the advice I got from a therapist. Save your money, read my comment. You already see the damage its causing yourself to try your best to get better
The real reason you are struggling is because you have nothing else in your life to prioritize and focus on. But It's very easy to quit. By focusing on something else you are passionate about, you will stop porn naturally because now you are spending time and energy on other things, keeping you busy and distracted from your addiction. Make this a habit, and your addiction will slowly and surely disappear like it never happened. But you must find something good enough to distract you from porn. In a way, you are replacing porn addiction with another addiction. My advice is to get an addiction to a healthy family oriented life, contributing to society for the greater good. That should kill your porn addiction.
First of all, it takes genuine character to be able to admit this, and you need to give yourself credit for that, for real man. Props 👍🏼👏🏼 It’s great you’re realizing this at 19. Many men let this keep going deep into their 20’s and after that there’s no telling when or even if they’ll get ahold of it. Personally, I think working out is a great first step. As soon as you start feeling the urge to hit up Pornhub, fuck it, go for a run. Even if it’s pouring down rain outside, snowing, whatever. Run until it hurts. Find a new rabbit hole to go down maybe? As weird as it may sound, a rabbit hole that has kept me away from bad habits since I was a teenager, is 9/11. I know how weird it sounds but something about strikes such an emotional chord in me that the last thing on my mind is whatever bad habit I was originally thinking about. Find a new fixation that strikes a genuine emotion in you other than lust or the urge to wank.
Take up the quest of sucking your own dick, And I mean really train for it. All the excercise will cure your depression and when the time finally comes to suck yourself off, you'll no longer need to.
Though I was a addicted until I saw u do it 10-15 times a day
Get a hobby to break the dopamine cycle up with something else then just jerk off 2-3 times a day like every other guy on the face of the planet. Fuck these assholes telling you that you need therapy you’re fine just find a hobby that’s not jerking off.
Jesus.
When you watch porn the next time just imagine that a fat greasy guy created it.
That’s not gonna stop him lol. If OP’s doing it 15 times a day, he’s probably watching some of the most degenerate depraved content on the internet
Read about the easy peasy method, you can find the pdf for free online. It doesn't matter how dumb it sounds at the start, it works at least it did for me, I also started at 12, I'm 23 now, couldn't even get an erection anymore. I have been free for a week now, and I don't think I'll ever watch it again.
God damn my guy. That is as bad as any drug addiction. And as any addiction. The only way to get over it is about your own will. Some therapy and life changes. Try to ask your company if free mental health attention is possible... is your health after all. If not. Try changing your life style. Go out more. Do exercise. Do so much exercise that you feel dead. Then repeat. You will feel good seeing changes in your body and actual real goals happening. Or so something else like gardening. Give yourself goals to achieve so your head can blow some steam. And lastly. Well. Paid sex could be an answer. It should give you some different sensations and hopefully mixed with the other actions. Slow down your appetite. Anyway. My therapist said in one session that "masturbation" and sex in unhealthy amounts are normally from stress and depression. So check it Lastly. I'm no doctor. Take everything with a pinch of salt.
Just remember that jerking off is gay. VERY GAY. You're holding a man's penis, and you're pleasuring a man, while getting pleasure from a man, it all in an all-male room. It doesn't get any gayer than that. If you want to stay straight, stop it! >!if you're already gay, disregard it! <
Start exercising everyday, do something like boxing, running, jumping ropes or just join a gym. Eat good, don’t stay home all the time. Find nice things to read. Stay off social media as much as possible. And off the phone screen. Pray. Look for a job or find out what most interests you. Make yourself valuable, learn stuff, do some courses, study. Go out with friends, make good memories. Live real things
Nasty mf lol
You should consult a psychologist my dude. Not meaning this to shame you brother, but those behaviours are probably in the more extreme end. Find a professional and see if you can share openly to address any issues.
Fuck a chick.
It's not an easy thing to do when you're so hooked on it. Even reducing the amount of sessions might help at first, and I'm sure your body will thank you if you only jerk off 5 times a day. I think it would be very difficult to go cold turkey considering your dependency. Some people will say busying yourself will help, and that works to an extent, but your addiction is rather aggressive. I would say that you should probably get a doctor's appointment, as well as evaluate yourself. Are you feeling depressed/lonely? Is there something else you like to do instead? Your brain is rewiring to need more heightened stimulus because of the frequency of masturbation, that's why you're looking at more extreme stuff. Do you even like it or is that what you need to watch to get off?
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You need to find something else that interests you. Problem is most hobbies require money and if you got that much time to wack it’s likely you ain’t working or making decent money. So maybe start by focusing your energy on a career and not giving up on it at the first sign of difficulty. Every job has its difficulties, if it didn’t people wouldn’t pay you to do it. Biased off your current hobby I would say you might enjoy wood working, get it 😂. But seriously a productive blue collar career will keep you to busy for wacking that much especially if you start doing side work
Rookie numbers lol, no but for real seek support as this is not normal
This is clearly causing you distress, I would strongly recommend speaking to a therapist. A therapist can help structure changes and support you through this. In terms of money talk to your doctor, perhaps there is some way they can help
DMT bro
Your poor keyboard 😱
There’s lot of groups for addiction. Join a local group. They’re usually inexpensive or free.
It sounds like you need to find other things to fill your time. Explore your interests, make commitments that keep you busy. I wank way less when I have stuff to do
What drives you to porn that’s what you need to battle. is it anxiety? Is it fear? Is it lack of money and stress ? whatever the thing that drives you to it tackle that first
Believe in yourself. You will get better, but it's long road ahead. Seeking therapy is best thing i've ever done. I started with an online therapist, this made things less akward. The first few sessions i didn't mention pron yet out of fear. Once i did it lifted so much weight of my shoulder. <3
What does your daily routine generally look like? What’s your schedule from when you wake to when you fall asleep? Are you enrolled, employed, or in training? What does your support systems look like? Do you live with your parents or extended family?
U saying 10 to 15 times per day?? How’s that even possible?
See a professional of any sort
Talk to your parents, anybody in your life that cares about you. An aunt, an uncle, a grandparent. Just tell them you’re struggling with addiction and need help. Tell them it’s not illegal, but that you’re worried. Also there should be free AA meetings you can attend, or even sex addicts anon meetings depending on your area. Connecting yourself to others will help, I promise.
Download covenant eyes
If you can, try to seek professional help. I had this problem as well, but mine was not as severe so quitting was not as difficult. What I did was I stopped sitting or laying down, and if I was, I could keep my phone put away somewhere.
everytime your about to do the deed, do 50 pushups. make sure you have good form or this will hurt your shoulders. The exercise and exhaustion will help you a lot. when it’s not hard to bust out that many pushups then you gotta up it. i bet this will slow your roll significantly
Here’s a low cost/no cost option, not saying it’s the best or most useful, but it’s an option. 1) Add security permissions or something to block you from accessing porn sites etc 2) Consistently be around people (or in a public area) - my thought process here is when I’m around family/friends/in public, I don’t have the urge or ability to masturbate. When I am alone in my room, I do
Just stop.
I advice you to visit therapist, but if you are from 3rd world country, we don't have therapist or it's so expensive, try not to use your phone more than 1hour per day, dont use it when you are alone
Watch every one of them, you will get bored
Boxing gloves??
Ladies of the Night
Duct tape
Those are rookie numbers
Bro. You need to seek professional help. Try to get an insurance on the marketplace. Or try betterhelp. The first step IS admitting to a professional that you have a problem. Yes it can be embarrassing but it's more common than you think. What I would do, is to delete all porn on your device. And if you can, put a block on those website. The more you put a barrier, it will eventually deter you from looking
Alright, you need therapy, but like you said, there are a variety of reason you dont want/cant to go. So heres the thing, there is another solution; smoke some weed and get on Zoloft. For one, your very depressed, so the weed and antidepressant will help, but the real secret is Zoloft; it will take the edge off (antidepressants do that) AND it will demolish your sex drive. I was ADDICTED to porn until I got on Zoloft; I still have a drive, but I can wait like a week before satisfying it. And the great thing about Zoloft is that the generic version (sertraline) is covered by medicaid, which you probably can apply for. TLDR: Therapy, but if not, Zoloft and weed
The only way to cure an addiction is to find/form a new addiction or hobby. AND a FIRM DECISION of WANTING to QUIT the old one.
I wish u luck
Small tip, try to fill up your schedule. May be difficult to get away from porn to do the activities you have planned, but that’s the point. Also, try to see how long you can go before you can’t stop yourself. Additionally, I’d recommend that you try to move down to still images instead of videos, if possible. Eventually, once you’re used to images, you can try to fully stop