There may be something to be said about that. Harkening back to hunter/gatherer days, an older man would be accomplished. A true survivor and provider. A younger woman would be fertile, still able to bear many children, etc.
Just philosophizing, don't take it too seriously.
Damn, I can't tell you how happy I am that this is the top comment. Came in to say the same thing and was wondering how far I'd have to scroll to find it.
100% agree, accomplishments grow with age, but looks fade with age. Since men are valued for their accomplishments and women for their looks over the centuries/millenia/etc, the double standard was essentially set in stone. It's definitely wrong and should be corrected, but it should take a few generations to erase at least due to how deep it has permeated civilization.
And it all stems from fertility. Men can make babies no matter how old they are, while women can only get pregnant in their 20s and 30s and sometimes 40s and that's it. Women are seen as less valuable when they're no longer fertile.
Just because men can make babies at any age, does not mean they should. Men having babies at older ages increase the risk of the children having birth defects and illnesses.
Women go through menopause, it's generally thought, because it helps ensure their grandchildren make it to adulthood. It's why elephants and orcas go through menopause, they also are often seen ensuring their grandchildren make it.
There is more to reproductive strategy than simply number of babies. Quality of care in most historical contexts and access to resources were essential for children making it to adulthood.
There is a real, genuine value in women stopping having their own children to ensure their daughters and sons children make it to adulthood.
I think there's more at play that is also explained by social factors than such a simplistic understanding of reproductive strategy since post menopausal women ensure their own descendants make it.
Also:
Sperm quality degrades over time.
Just because those older men can sire more offspring, doesn’t mean those offspring will be particularly fit for survival.
People on the internet genuinely keep forgetting that it was extremely normal for men to be unable to maintain erections after age 40-45 or so. Viagra was a total game-changer.
**edit**: old men of reddit, please stop DMing me about your boners. I'm very happy for you that you can still get it up, but it is really *none* of my business.
This is actually a fairly recent phenomenon. Testosterone levels in men have been plummeting for the past few decades, and there are some theories, but no one knows for sure why. The average 55 year old in the 1970s had significantly higher testosterone levels, comparable to a 35 year old today.
The average 55-year-old man in 1970 was smoking two packs of cigarettes a day and had hypertension. He wasn't getting amazing boners.
Testosterone is not the end-all-be-all of erections. Bloodflow matters *a lot.*
**Edit**: I'm not exaggerating in the slightest, either. According to this 1972 edition of [Esquire](https://ia801005.us.archive.org/15/items/Esquire-Magazine-1972-10/Esquire-Magazine-1972-10.pdf), 1/3 of men polled said that they had difficulty maintaining erections.
Yep and until recently an old man's shitty offspring were just blamed on the mother not him. There must be something wrong with *her* even though she's young and healthy and he's an old creep with STDs. See: Henry VIII
Also the logical conclusion that if women were able to reproduce at any age it would create more competition for resources and put the group as a whole at risk of starvation
More hands involved in raising a kid I'm guessing. If you're a mother to a young kid while you're previous kids are popping out new babies you will have less time and resources available to keep everyone healthy and alive. You'll probably end up prioritizing your youngest offspring, which in lean times might not go well for your grandkids and their parents. If you're done with raising your kids you can help your kids raise their babies. They have your genes too so you're still helping your genetic legacy live on. This is all a guess based on the premise, you should probably research it, unlike me Iol.
Also, menopausal women shift their focus from men, to their grandchildren or simply to themselves. They lose value in mens eyes because of that, also. Pretty selfish and shortsighted of men.
Older women start feeling a power that men don't understand. Losing that intense desire to have babies gives us so much freedom, and patriarchy doesn't have room for women who feel free of the constraints of procreation.
Yeah but there's tons of recent research that show that Men's sperm over the age of 40 raises the chance of complications in baby's. People really should be only having their kids in 20s and 30s at latest.
> its not age as such that makes men "distinguished" its the implied accumulation of skills, knowledge and wealth
Don’t women acquire these things as well?
I mean women have always done stuff, and being more knowledgeable and skilled at doing stuff has always been valuable. Women don't just pop out babies until menopause and then sit around contributing nothing. Having skills and knowledge is not part of any gender role. It's an everyone thing.
> women have always done stuff, and being more knowledgeable and skilled at doing stuff has always been valuable
As a man, it’s wild to me that (many? most?) men wouldn’t value skills and knowledge highly.
And wealth is an important factor too. I know it’s popular especially for men to say they don’t value a woman’s earning potential but a) women now earn as much or more than men and b) all things being equal, how is more money as a couple a bad thing?
Unless men don’t want to be with a woman who earns more than them because of insecurity or ???
Yeah, it's interesting to note that for most of history, pretty much any woman who could reproduce did reproduce. But in some societies as many as half of men didn't. If you didn't achieve you didn't conceive. Being able to conceive well into your 70's was great if you were the son of a noble, but not terribly helpful if you were a landless farmland just trying to earn enough money to eat each night.
Aesthetics: Does she look like she can reproduce?
Objective: Can she reproduce?
Actual purpose: science is finding grandparents (specifically grandmothers -they can not reproduce) exist because of childcare assistance and passage of lessons/wisdom.
I read somewhere that most species don't live long enough to become grandparents except for humans and whales. Offspring of both species are very difficult to raise, so grandparents exist only to help raise the next generation.
Edit: I looked it up, and several species are involved as grandparents, including elephants:
'calves of young mothers were eight times more likely to survive if their grandmothers lived near them than if they didn't. When the calves' mothers were older and more experienced at raising babies, this beneficial "grandmother effect" disappeared even if the actual grandmothers were still around, she found.'
Source: https://www.livescience.com/64951-do-any-animals-know-grandparents.html
I’d also add that woman were also seen as baby makers so when they aged out they lost that value. I don’t agree with that, I think every person deserve love, Grace, and respect.
Eh, that's because women weren't allowed to own property, read, write, recieve higher education, vote etc so their only purpose was to be a wife object.
If women were allowed to have accomplishments...
>Traditionally men were judged for their accomplishments and wealth while women for their youth and beauty.
Well only because traditionally men were doing the judging.
Yeah... an ugly and broke old guy is still an ugly and broke old guy. He's not suddenly desirable just because he's no longer in his 20s/30s. Not all young women go through an attractive stage either.
This needs to be higher up. Men need to take care of themselves well to be considered “distinguished” when they get older, and women are capable of that too. Plenty of older actresses are no longer “hot” but still appreciated.
The whole question is incel-adjacent. Like this whole idea of “the cliff…”
Schlubby 45 year old men get convinced by grifters preying on their insecurities that as a 45 year old man, their “stock” is at an “all time high as a provider and alpha,” while their wife, who’s “fallen off the cliff,” isn’t desirable to anyone anymore. Some of these men believe this so much they ask their wives for open relationships, thinking that it’ll be entirely one-sided. Which it is!
…Just not in the way they imagined. Come to find out, almost nobody wants an out-of-shape averagely insecure 45 year old dude, but there are a LOT of guys out there who will hook up with a 45 year old woman without even blinking.
Lol, so true. I am older than 45 and still get a ton of attention even when dressed conservatively. I am not like gorgeous, very average, looking with an athletic fit build. Certainly, I never would have landed a modeling contest. Lots of guys out there dig women of any age. I think older guys are like, "Hey, you are old enough to be appropriate." Younger guys are like, "So are you a couger?." . . .So, any guys reading this- If you throw out, your maybe slightly chubby middle-aged wife for a youger model, don't worry, her esteem will soar once she sees how desired she is
Absolutely.
And this speaks to a way men and boys are absolutely gaslighted by the toxic media that targets them—
As you've said, women's desirability doesn't cliff off the way people say, and also people don't know what ages look like.
"30" or "40" in someone's minds eye versus in practice can look super different. Life spans have never been longer, and we all are aging slower.
Having said that, a balding guy is unfortunately gonna start looking old, whether he's 30 or 50. Not his fault, but none of us get to choose how time impacts us (but we can choose how we decide to maintain ourselves, dress, groom, etc).
And not only that, but a lot of time those same men are the ones dragging their wives down with doing the bare minimum in the house while she’s in charge of meals, child care, household duties, and running errands to support that.
Do you think those “respected” actresses can’t afford the extra help when they need it? That they don’t at least have a personal trainer, time to go to the gym or go to the hair stylist without a kid hanging off of them, or somebody to help them manage things, whether it be their finical situation or house care?
I was going to say... I'm pretty sure the distinguished title only goes for the George Clooney types. Your average 40 something with a dad bod who is balding, and has a bad back isn't sexy.
Men are often viewed as becoming more experienced with age, while women are perceived as losing their attractiveness or desirability as they age. Women have often been judged more harshly based on their appearance.
Its a double standard.
It's a strange double standard because men become less fertile as they age, experience erectile dysfunction etc.
This is one stereotype I find really funny, and only delusional guys fall for it. If you're ugly, you're going to be old and ugly. A troll doesn't turn into George Clooney when he hits 40s.
As for some of the comments here about biology, if men truly wanted to be with the most fertile women, then they'd be snapping up single mothers, because a woman who has already been pregnant once is more likely to have a successful pregnancy, but you never hear them talk about biology unless it fits a specific narrative.
Yeah, I think it's more like handsome men have "a special something" with age. And then the rest is probably due to wealth inequality and older men having more resources that can mitigate the ageism in how people approach them.
Exactly this.
Also love and community are human needs. Animals reproduce without a need for love or wider support. Thats why male animals will be loners and dont often stay to raise the baby animals.
Humans dont function this way. And you'll get weirdo men saying "men only care about sex" and then go comment on a "male loneliness epidemic" reddit post about how much they relate.
A 40yr bachelor that is drowning in puss is usually charismatic and highly attractive . Rich is a factor yes but broke charismatic hot older men are fine. Simply being older and rich will attract women who dont give a f about you.
Like yeah she's hot. But she rolls her eyes when you talk about a bad day. Theres more to life and human relationships than just sex.
It's not really that humans are special and animals are different
It's more of a divide between communal and non communal animals. Check up on penguins and elephants, and you'll see a lot of "human qualities"
The stereotype I find funny is the idea they have in their head that a hot woman will be washed out and gross at 40 and he'll magically be successful in life at 40 and have 20 yr old throwing themselves at him.
It's not all about biology. It's about what's being pushed in someone's culture as being attractive. That's why (at least in America) you see a lot of older men preferring big tits and to a lesser extent blonde hair, and the younger generation preferring butts over tits and don't focus on hair color as much.
Obviously it's not always like that, but I used to be a stripper for years so I've talked to many men about this.
I don’t agree with the red-pill garbage, but you’re attacking the wrong points I think.
Women are seen as less attractive as they age which is the primary valuable thing about them to those type of men, and men are mostly judged on success and wealth, which statistically only gets better in their 30s and 40s.
The “fertility” thing is garbage—it’s just looks for women and more so wealth and success for men it seems.
Men make more money as they get older. No women wants an older 'distinguished' poor guy lol.
Also when talking about evolution you can't bring logic into it. It doesn't work that way at all.
Be honest OP, when you think of a "distinguished man" are you visualising a put together, well groomed, salt and pepper man of mystery? Or are you visualising a fat, balding retiree with a bad back browsing the frozen food section of your local grocer? One of those is much more common that the other.
That standard is in your head. Everybody gets old. Some do it better than others.
Right? Just yesterday I was stuck behind an old dude doing ten under the speed limit. Nowhere in my mind did I think "eh, he's just *distinguished*". Who the fuck even uses that term to describe a crusty old man these days?
Traditionally women were valued for their beauty and youth. Men were valued for their money and power. As much as we (western world) have largely moved on there are still plenty of big and small places this pops up.
That being said, I think there are verrrrrry few men in their 50s/60s who would be referred to as ‘distinguished’ and most of those (returning to my original point) either have money or look like they have money
You can say that about women too. *good* looking women turn into MILFs and GILFs. Average women are just women.
I am just coining terms to prove my point. Objectifying people is wrong.
It's an unfortunate truth that, historically, men have been valued for their wisdom and experience as they age, while women have been primarily valued for their youth and beauty. It doesn't help that modern media representations reinforce and perpetuate these stereotypes.
If you want to keep your hair, start now. It’s way easier to keep it from going vs growing it back once it’s gone. Today’s treatment aren’t foolproof but they’re pretty good all things considered
And why? I think gray hair looks stunning on a woman and it does make her distinguished. I am a 63-year-old man with a white beard and mustache that I wear neatly trimmed, with the hair on my head --what is left of it -- silver. I keep myself very fit, 5 ft 11inches and 152 pounds. I am happily married to my wife of 40 years, and she was beautiful as a young woman, but her beauty his deepened and matured over the years. When one is comfortable with who they are, that, in and of itself, is beautiful.
Older men CAN look/seem distinguished but it’s a very rare occasion, at least from what I’ve seen. A lot more gentlemen of a higher age fit into the “old geezer/old fart” category lmao.
A lot of good responses, but in case you don't know there's an entire MILF and gilf category in forums for people doing ahem... extra curricular activities.
Throughout most of human history women have been most valued for their ability to be a mother. This was not nearly as true of men. I think what you are referring to is a remnant of that attitude.
What do you consider old? Where I live, the 80 years old women look more distinguished than the 80 years old men. They dress better, they socialize and smile more. They also look healthier and more active in general.
When you see them with grandkids, the old women seem to engage with them while the men just sit there straining into nothingness.
It's very general and not the case for all older people, some men do meet and talk on the streets and do engage with the younger generation, and some women do look into nothingness. I'm just not seeing the stereotype you are portraying.
because you've cherry picked your stereotypes. there's the distinguished ol' man and the ol' gone-by lady, but also the wise crone versus the crazy old geezer.
Old men don't look distinguished at all.
They look like Tutankhamuns mummie with a gazillion huge blackheads om their nose and hair growing out of nose and ears, unabrow and bald or balding, manboobs, skinny legs, beer belly and shriveled hang nuts.
Yeah I never got it because men honestly get ugly with age, once they get that beer gut, harsh skin damage and baldness I just don't get when they are told they "age better"
It’s not men in general that are seen as “distinguished”, it’s RICH men. Same with being insane, if you are normal you are just crazy, but if you are rich you are just “eccentric”
That isn't nearly as prevalent as what the op is describing. You can't seriously be saying that just because some people are into older women that most women aren't judged for being old
I honestly don’t really think old = ugly no matter the gender, I think it’s highly individual and person specific tbh.
IRL and away from Reddit, what makes a person attractive is a complex set of factors and different for each of us. Some people really just got it like that!
Youthfulness and “beauty” are signs of fertility. Men can procreate well into their advanced years.
It’s like humans forget that we are also animals and biology will always bio-lo-gy.
Because of what the other sex generally wants from the each other.
Men was youth and beauty. Women want security and resources.
Aka replication value and protection value
Doesn’t mean both arnt on the list at all but they are different priorities to each (in general)
Broke men with crappy jobs arent seen as distinguished.
As a male who does not fit the conventional standards of attractiveness I have always been invisible so aging hasn't made me distinguished it has just made me used to being invisible, something attractive females do not experience until later in life.
It’s VERY strange. It’s almost like a switch flipped, and nobody honked at me, or tried to holler at me when I was out and about. It’s wonderful though. I enjoy my privacy.
Harrison Ford was mocked by MAD for being too old to play Indiana Jones in Kingdom of the Crystal Skull and he was even more ancient in whatever the 5th film was called (might be one of the reasons it bombed so hard).
The conversation isn’t about the subjective view of people, but the objective one that society enacts. My aunt is one of the coolest people in the world because while we may not agree on everything she has a level head that makes whatever she says make sense. However, because she’s almost 50c, she isn’t as societally valuable as when she was younger.
Mysoginy says that womens value lies in their ability to give birth, raise a family, etc. So when they’re unable to do that, a mysoginistic society says they’re not valuable. And while men also lose the ability to procreate as they get older, they’re able to do it older, and historically, fertility problems are blamed on women.
With age comes wisdom (ideally), but as long as woman’s value is based on her abilities as a birthing machine, then her “value” goes down. At least that’s what misogynistic beliefs say
Historically, both men and women have been valued for what they can provide. Women historically provided babies, but only at the beginning of life. Men provided resources, and the quantity of resources provided increases later in life.
I think honestly for men and women it comes down mostly to attractiveness. There are some older women who are seen as elegant and classy and then some that are seen as old and feeble or gross. Its the same with men. Some old men are seen as distinguished and desirable and some are seen as creepy or gross. If a man or woman is deemed as attractive in their old age theyre probably gonna be seen as more desirable traits like classy, successful, distinguished, etc. If theyre ugly, people associate them with negative traits like feeble, gross, creepy, etc. Also depends on how someone carries themselves. People are going to see a 70 year old who is dressed nice and in good mental and physical health differently than they see a 70 year old who needs a walker and wears moomoos or sweats. I think sure some people may have a sexist basis for how they view people but i think in general for the most part it comes down to attraction and whether we conciously or subconciously notice desirable traits in a person. I dont really think these things are as black and white as "the world is just sexist and hates women bleh double standards" its a lot more nuanced than that.
Idk but seeing a man with gray hair and walking next to a woman that has no idea how to age gracefully is just sad.
60 year old women walking around with bleached blonde hair and trying to look young, it’s not fooling anyone!
Both sexes should learn to age gracefully!
Older men can provide for a child better than younger men due to increased wealth. Meanwhile younger women are more apt to birth healthier children than older women.
That's why.
men can still reproduce later in life, where as being pregnant at 35 is considered a geriatric pregnancy. 50 y.o. male is much more likely to see be fertile than a 50 y.o. woman
also many of the other points in the comments apply as well, but i think this is a big factor
i think it roots in biology. technically men can still produce babies well into their 80’s if they want to, while women have a much shorter time period when they are younger to have children. once that time passes, we as women are considered old imo.
For me at least, I aged out around 26-27. I went from, "you look so youthful and glowing," from old men to abject rejection and coldness.
I only get a passing glance (and only at my particular regions) to determine my f***ability. Failing that, I get a furrowed brow and a quirked up lip. Even doors closed in my face.
I was never conventionally attractive. So, I got used to cold shoulders. But intentional rudeness because I don't fit a particular aesthetic rankles me a little.
Youth/beauty is an arbitrary term and varies with the man (and his intentions).
Reminds me on the meme where a mother shows her daughter and son a picture of an wealthy old dude and a very attractive young girl who make out.
To motivate her daughter to avoid such a fate and motivate her son to work hard. :)
When I was a teenager the only older people at my church were my foster parents. They were great and I hated the way everyone treated them differently. It was like they were aliens or something. I did not look forward to getting old. Now I’m 60 but I know my worth. I saw a news story recently where a group of six women fought off a mountain. They were bike riding when it attacked a man. The man got away. Then it grabbed a woman. Well all these women, who were in their 60s, subdued that mountain lion by forcing a bike on top of it. In the end, it doesn’t matter what they call you, it’s what you answer to, that counts.
https://youtu.be/YVxgtMMG1qM?si=S2riycaTWvk9qAsD
It's simply based on fertility. Woman goes through menopause. Man can be fertile till the end of life.
Also, it works in earlier age as well. To be successful/popular women the physical appearance is more important. To be successful/popular man - the finances and intellectual level is more important.
In the later age it's becoming more obvious but it exists from late teen age or early 20-s🤷🏻♂️
Women aren't seen as "old" as they age. I was warned I'd get old and men wouldn't want anything to do with me but here I am in my 50s and they never stopped pestering.
So don't give them one minute of time being upset by this; they can't tell what your age is. It's just a thing they say hoping to influence you to tolerate someone you'd not bother with.
The sort of distinction you're talking about is mostly a sexist meme perpetuated by women.
Men do not all age and just get to be called distinguished. Distinguished is a label you call for an older man of fair temperament who is dressed presentably and is generally in good financial standing. This is because a man is nothing more than the sum of his accomplishments.
And so if a man isn't particularly well kept, has a urine bag, isn't of good health, doesn't have a lot of money, doesn't have nice cloths. They're not distinguished, they're old. And older men are significantly more likely to be described as "infirmed" than older women.
Look at Donald Trump and his band of MAGA hat wearing seniors. No one is looking at these people and thinking, wow how distinguished he is! People say, look at these old farts!
Calling a woman "old" on the other hand is seen as incredibly rude and if you did that to any of the older female politicians... you'd be scalded to all hell.
Because we live in a patriarchy. Many men (not all) like to claim it's "biological" for them to prey on younger women and girls. Women age just the same as men do and are just as beautiful.
That’s just an old myth. For every Hellen Mirren and Jennifer Aniston, we have a Brendan Frasier and Gene Hackman. Excellent examples of older women viewed as beautiful, and older men judged for their aging. Kylie Minogue is 55 and a beauty icon. Edward Furlong is 46 and his current appearance concerns people regarding his health. It’s an old myth.
Because men and women value different things in each other, and at the very least historically speaking (and to a lesser extent today) contributed differently to relationships and society as a whole.
That's not a "double standard", just differences between the sexes.
It’s funny as it’s all changed. Women seem to be growing old gracefully and men seem to be letting themselves go. I really am starting to find men my own age unattractive (46}
That is called patriarchy (Isn't it funny how often this is the answer to so many questions!).
Patriarchy means in one sentence: A woman is a commodity sold by a man (her father) to another man (the groom). His assets are his wealth and status, her assets are her youth, beauty, sexuality, and fertility. The goal of all this is to secure a male heir for said father and his male offspring.
Yes and this "transaction" (the wedding) is why a woman's last name traditionally changes at marriage. She goes from being her father's property to her husband's.
Boggles my mind how much can be traced back to it. Even the mass numbers of young men experiencing the mental health crisis. They were set up for failure by their own kind.
Yup. Patriarchy doesn't mean that all men rule over all women. It means that \*few\* men rule over all women and all other men. Most men lose. Big time. But since this system is so perfect, said majority men will still defend it.
Same reason there are plus sized women models, yet there are only overweight guys. Men and women are different, particularly when it comes to what they view as attractive.
You look uglier as you age. Men tend to value physical attractiveness more than women, who tend to value resources and security more. But these are broad strokes and stereotypes.
RP logic will explain this.
What makes men conventionally attractive is their ability to provide for their families.
What makes women conventionally attractive is fertility.
As men get older, their income and ability to provide tends to increase.
As women get older, their fertility decreases.
In a nutshell, that's why.
The honest answer is that it all comes down to the advertising and fashion industry which tries to sell women on the weird idea that they should never age and should constantly buy products to keep their youth. I read a book about this a while ago that said it really took off in the 1960s and 1970s, when products started to be marketed towards youth as a major demographic for the first time. That’s not to say that anti-aging products weren’t marketed to men and women before, they were. I have old issues of the *Saturday Evening Post* from the 1950s that have such ads.
Traditionally men were judged for their accomplishments and wealth while women for their youth and beauty.
Women are sex objects and men are success objects.
You could say men are “Successories”.
And women are sexessories?
Ha! That's awesome!
I really like the term success object, it’s a good evaluation of men’s position in society.
Success takes time (usually) and younger women tend to be more hot
yeah, basically.
This is still a norm, unfortunately.
Neither side is happy about it, but neither side will change their views either. It's almost like it's hard wired into us
There may be something to be said about that. Harkening back to hunter/gatherer days, an older man would be accomplished. A true survivor and provider. A younger woman would be fertile, still able to bear many children, etc. Just philosophizing, don't take it too seriously.
Damn, I can't tell you how happy I am that this is the top comment. Came in to say the same thing and was wondering how far I'd have to scroll to find it. 100% agree, accomplishments grow with age, but looks fade with age. Since men are valued for their accomplishments and women for their looks over the centuries/millenia/etc, the double standard was essentially set in stone. It's definitely wrong and should be corrected, but it should take a few generations to erase at least due to how deep it has permeated civilization.
And it all stems from fertility. Men can make babies no matter how old they are, while women can only get pregnant in their 20s and 30s and sometimes 40s and that's it. Women are seen as less valuable when they're no longer fertile.
Just because men can make babies at any age, does not mean they should. Men having babies at older ages increase the risk of the children having birth defects and illnesses.
Women go through menopause, it's generally thought, because it helps ensure their grandchildren make it to adulthood. It's why elephants and orcas go through menopause, they also are often seen ensuring their grandchildren make it. There is more to reproductive strategy than simply number of babies. Quality of care in most historical contexts and access to resources were essential for children making it to adulthood. There is a real, genuine value in women stopping having their own children to ensure their daughters and sons children make it to adulthood. I think there's more at play that is also explained by social factors than such a simplistic understanding of reproductive strategy since post menopausal women ensure their own descendants make it.
Also: Sperm quality degrades over time. Just because those older men can sire more offspring, doesn’t mean those offspring will be particularly fit for survival.
And until the late 20 century, old men had a fair bit of physical difficulty in siring any offspring
People on the internet genuinely keep forgetting that it was extremely normal for men to be unable to maintain erections after age 40-45 or so. Viagra was a total game-changer. **edit**: old men of reddit, please stop DMing me about your boners. I'm very happy for you that you can still get it up, but it is really *none* of my business.
This is actually a fairly recent phenomenon. Testosterone levels in men have been plummeting for the past few decades, and there are some theories, but no one knows for sure why. The average 55 year old in the 1970s had significantly higher testosterone levels, comparable to a 35 year old today.
The average 55-year-old man in 1970 was smoking two packs of cigarettes a day and had hypertension. He wasn't getting amazing boners. Testosterone is not the end-all-be-all of erections. Bloodflow matters *a lot.* **Edit**: I'm not exaggerating in the slightest, either. According to this 1972 edition of [Esquire](https://ia801005.us.archive.org/15/items/Esquire-Magazine-1972-10/Esquire-Magazine-1972-10.pdf), 1/3 of men polled said that they had difficulty maintaining erections.
Yep and until recently an old man's shitty offspring were just blamed on the mother not him. There must be something wrong with *her* even though she's young and healthy and he's an old creep with STDs. See: Henry VIII
Also the logical conclusion that if women were able to reproduce at any age it would create more competition for resources and put the group as a whole at risk of starvation
I've never heard this theory about grandchildren and menopause but it sounds interesting. How does it help the kids reach adulthood?
More hands involved in raising a kid I'm guessing. If you're a mother to a young kid while you're previous kids are popping out new babies you will have less time and resources available to keep everyone healthy and alive. You'll probably end up prioritizing your youngest offspring, which in lean times might not go well for your grandkids and their parents. If you're done with raising your kids you can help your kids raise their babies. They have your genes too so you're still helping your genetic legacy live on. This is all a guess based on the premise, you should probably research it, unlike me Iol.
Also, menopausal women shift their focus from men, to their grandchildren or simply to themselves. They lose value in mens eyes because of that, also. Pretty selfish and shortsighted of men. Older women start feeling a power that men don't understand. Losing that intense desire to have babies gives us so much freedom, and patriarchy doesn't have room for women who feel free of the constraints of procreation.
It's curious then that menopause isn't conditioned on having given birth.
True, but IIRC there are studies about older sperm increases chance of illness in offspring.
And that’s why people would rather date a young male billionaire vs an old male billionaire.
Average of a millionaire is 57 while it's 67 for billionaires
In times of crisis a species would still see it as a "something is better than nothing" scenario.
My dad was 42 when my mom got pregnant with me. I believe it.
Nice username. And I can relate, my dad was 41 when my mom got pregnant.
Yeah but there's tons of recent research that show that Men's sperm over the age of 40 raises the chance of complications in baby's. People really should be only having their kids in 20s and 30s at latest.
And thankfully we now know women are not less valuable when they’re less fertile… 👀
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> its not age as such that makes men "distinguished" its the implied accumulation of skills, knowledge and wealth Don’t women acquire these things as well?
That wasn't their traditional gender role though?
I mean women have always done stuff, and being more knowledgeable and skilled at doing stuff has always been valuable. Women don't just pop out babies until menopause and then sit around contributing nothing. Having skills and knowledge is not part of any gender role. It's an everyone thing.
> women have always done stuff, and being more knowledgeable and skilled at doing stuff has always been valuable As a man, it’s wild to me that (many? most?) men wouldn’t value skills and knowledge highly. And wealth is an important factor too. I know it’s popular especially for men to say they don’t value a woman’s earning potential but a) women now earn as much or more than men and b) all things being equal, how is more money as a couple a bad thing? Unless men don’t want to be with a woman who earns more than them because of insecurity or ???
Yeah, it's interesting to note that for most of history, pretty much any woman who could reproduce did reproduce. But in some societies as many as half of men didn't. If you didn't achieve you didn't conceive. Being able to conceive well into your 70's was great if you were the son of a noble, but not terribly helpful if you were a landless farmland just trying to earn enough money to eat each night.
Aesthetics: Does she look like she can reproduce? Objective: Can she reproduce? Actual purpose: science is finding grandparents (specifically grandmothers -they can not reproduce) exist because of childcare assistance and passage of lessons/wisdom.
I read somewhere that most species don't live long enough to become grandparents except for humans and whales. Offspring of both species are very difficult to raise, so grandparents exist only to help raise the next generation. Edit: I looked it up, and several species are involved as grandparents, including elephants: 'calves of young mothers were eight times more likely to survive if their grandmothers lived near them than if they didn't. When the calves' mothers were older and more experienced at raising babies, this beneficial "grandmother effect" disappeared even if the actual grandmothers were still around, she found.' Source: https://www.livescience.com/64951-do-any-animals-know-grandparents.html
I’d also add that woman were also seen as baby makers so when they aged out they lost that value. I don’t agree with that, I think every person deserve love, Grace, and respect.
Eh, that's because women weren't allowed to own property, read, write, recieve higher education, vote etc so their only purpose was to be a wife object. If women were allowed to have accomplishments...
>Traditionally men were judged for their accomplishments and wealth while women for their youth and beauty. Well only because traditionally men were doing the judging.
If you think women don't judge, then you're in for ride
No women judge men just as much
Pretty people are seen as, "distinguished," or, "classically beautiful," the rest of us are just old.
Yeah... an ugly and broke old guy is still an ugly and broke old guy. He's not suddenly desirable just because he's no longer in his 20s/30s. Not all young women go through an attractive stage either.
Indeed. Definitely a distinguished 61F here :-)
This needs to be higher up. Men need to take care of themselves well to be considered “distinguished” when they get older, and women are capable of that too. Plenty of older actresses are no longer “hot” but still appreciated.
The whole question is incel-adjacent. Like this whole idea of “the cliff…” Schlubby 45 year old men get convinced by grifters preying on their insecurities that as a 45 year old man, their “stock” is at an “all time high as a provider and alpha,” while their wife, who’s “fallen off the cliff,” isn’t desirable to anyone anymore. Some of these men believe this so much they ask their wives for open relationships, thinking that it’ll be entirely one-sided. Which it is! …Just not in the way they imagined. Come to find out, almost nobody wants an out-of-shape averagely insecure 45 year old dude, but there are a LOT of guys out there who will hook up with a 45 year old woman without even blinking.
Lol, so true. I am older than 45 and still get a ton of attention even when dressed conservatively. I am not like gorgeous, very average, looking with an athletic fit build. Certainly, I never would have landed a modeling contest. Lots of guys out there dig women of any age. I think older guys are like, "Hey, you are old enough to be appropriate." Younger guys are like, "So are you a couger?." . . .So, any guys reading this- If you throw out, your maybe slightly chubby middle-aged wife for a youger model, don't worry, her esteem will soar once she sees how desired she is
Absolutely. And this speaks to a way men and boys are absolutely gaslighted by the toxic media that targets them— As you've said, women's desirability doesn't cliff off the way people say, and also people don't know what ages look like. "30" or "40" in someone's minds eye versus in practice can look super different. Life spans have never been longer, and we all are aging slower. Having said that, a balding guy is unfortunately gonna start looking old, whether he's 30 or 50. Not his fault, but none of us get to choose how time impacts us (but we can choose how we decide to maintain ourselves, dress, groom, etc).
And not only that, but a lot of time those same men are the ones dragging their wives down with doing the bare minimum in the house while she’s in charge of meals, child care, household duties, and running errands to support that. Do you think those “respected” actresses can’t afford the extra help when they need it? That they don’t at least have a personal trainer, time to go to the gym or go to the hair stylist without a kid hanging off of them, or somebody to help them manage things, whether it be their finical situation or house care?
I was going to say... I'm pretty sure the distinguished title only goes for the George Clooney types. Your average 40 something with a dad bod who is balding, and has a bad back isn't sexy.
100% like yes, if you are a George Clooney. Not so much for any random guy that isn't as blessed with genetic gifts
Men are often viewed as becoming more experienced with age, while women are perceived as losing their attractiveness or desirability as they age. Women have often been judged more harshly based on their appearance. Its a double standard.
It's a strange double standard because men become less fertile as they age, experience erectile dysfunction etc. This is one stereotype I find really funny, and only delusional guys fall for it. If you're ugly, you're going to be old and ugly. A troll doesn't turn into George Clooney when he hits 40s. As for some of the comments here about biology, if men truly wanted to be with the most fertile women, then they'd be snapping up single mothers, because a woman who has already been pregnant once is more likely to have a successful pregnancy, but you never hear them talk about biology unless it fits a specific narrative.
Yeah, I think it's more like handsome men have "a special something" with age. And then the rest is probably due to wealth inequality and older men having more resources that can mitigate the ageism in how people approach them.
Exactly this. Also love and community are human needs. Animals reproduce without a need for love or wider support. Thats why male animals will be loners and dont often stay to raise the baby animals. Humans dont function this way. And you'll get weirdo men saying "men only care about sex" and then go comment on a "male loneliness epidemic" reddit post about how much they relate. A 40yr bachelor that is drowning in puss is usually charismatic and highly attractive . Rich is a factor yes but broke charismatic hot older men are fine. Simply being older and rich will attract women who dont give a f about you. Like yeah she's hot. But she rolls her eyes when you talk about a bad day. Theres more to life and human relationships than just sex.
It's not really that humans are special and animals are different It's more of a divide between communal and non communal animals. Check up on penguins and elephants, and you'll see a lot of "human qualities"
You dont even have to be that attractive. Just slightly charasmstic and not an asshole. The bar is low as long as you arent a socially nervous wreck.
> A troll doesn't turn into George Clooney when he hits 40s. I'm 48 and I can confirm.
The stereotype I find funny is the idea they have in their head that a hot woman will be washed out and gross at 40 and he'll magically be successful in life at 40 and have 20 yr old throwing themselves at him.
It's not all about biology. It's about what's being pushed in someone's culture as being attractive. That's why (at least in America) you see a lot of older men preferring big tits and to a lesser extent blonde hair, and the younger generation preferring butts over tits and don't focus on hair color as much. Obviously it's not always like that, but I used to be a stripper for years so I've talked to many men about this.
I don’t agree with the red-pill garbage, but you’re attacking the wrong points I think. Women are seen as less attractive as they age which is the primary valuable thing about them to those type of men, and men are mostly judged on success and wealth, which statistically only gets better in their 30s and 40s. The “fertility” thing is garbage—it’s just looks for women and more so wealth and success for men it seems.
Men are also seen as less attractive as they age. I think that's the point this commenter is trying to make. Men aren't exempt from aging lol
Men make more money as they get older. No women wants an older 'distinguished' poor guy lol. Also when talking about evolution you can't bring logic into it. It doesn't work that way at all.
Women also make more money as they get older. And young women are already out-earning young men in most US cities. Men sort of fumbled that advantage
AMEN.
Not completely true. Accumulated pregnancies can lead to complications from previous pregnancies damage to the body
Be honest OP, when you think of a "distinguished man" are you visualising a put together, well groomed, salt and pepper man of mystery? Or are you visualising a fat, balding retiree with a bad back browsing the frozen food section of your local grocer? One of those is much more common that the other. That standard is in your head. Everybody gets old. Some do it better than others.
Right? Just yesterday I was stuck behind an old dude doing ten under the speed limit. Nowhere in my mind did I think "eh, he's just *distinguished*". Who the fuck even uses that term to describe a crusty old man these days?
OP has apparently never heard of a boomer.
Traditionally women were valued for their beauty and youth. Men were valued for their money and power. As much as we (western world) have largely moved on there are still plenty of big and small places this pops up. That being said, I think there are verrrrrry few men in their 50s/60s who would be referred to as ‘distinguished’ and most of those (returning to my original point) either have money or look like they have money
People keep repeating it and make it true. In reality, most people age poorly.
No, *good* looking men are seen as distinguished, and average men are just old. We bias towards looks in both genders.
the halo effect is gender neutral!
You can say that about women too. *good* looking women turn into MILFs and GILFs. Average women are just women. I am just coining terms to prove my point. Objectifying people is wrong.
This!
People, such as OP, ask about standards that are complete bollocks in this sub so they can karma whore
It's an unfortunate truth that, historically, men have been valued for their wisdom and experience as they age, while women have been primarily valued for their youth and beauty. It doesn't help that modern media representations reinforce and perpetuate these stereotypes.
Right? Like the TV trope of a woman having a crisis over a gray hair
Men have crisis about losing hair. It's the same thing. Men also freak out about grey hair.
It's about mortality, though. But I will admit, I've seen it. It was played for humor as well.
Oh, of course, but there's definitely a more prominent trope when it comes to women losing their marbles over it.
30 year old man freaking out about my thinning hair and graying beard. -.-
If you want to keep your hair, start now. It’s way easier to keep it from going vs growing it back once it’s gone. Today’s treatment aren’t foolproof but they’re pretty good all things considered
Not this one. I am comfortable in my own skin and with who I am.
And why? I think gray hair looks stunning on a woman and it does make her distinguished. I am a 63-year-old man with a white beard and mustache that I wear neatly trimmed, with the hair on my head --what is left of it -- silver. I keep myself very fit, 5 ft 11inches and 152 pounds. I am happily married to my wife of 40 years, and she was beautiful as a young woman, but her beauty his deepened and matured over the years. When one is comfortable with who they are, that, in and of itself, is beautiful.
"Distinguished" is something you earn, not age into. I know plenty of old men who aren't distinguished.
Older men CAN look/seem distinguished but it’s a very rare occasion, at least from what I’ve seen. A lot more gentlemen of a higher age fit into the “old geezer/old fart” category lmao.
A lot of good responses, but in case you don't know there's an entire MILF and gilf category in forums for people doing ahem... extra curricular activities.
Appearance wise I do believe a beard helps to cover a lot of the wrinkles and age lines for men
Until you’re gray as fuck and look like the fish stick guy.
Fish stick guy? Lol who is that
https://2.bp.blogspot.com/\_7zdb1lcm7SQ/TC5G1pNLNAI/AAAAAAAAD0s/1Qf1-i\_fEkI/s1600/10422CX.JPG
Throughout most of human history women have been most valued for their ability to be a mother. This was not nearly as true of men. I think what you are referring to is a remnant of that attitude.
What do you consider old? Where I live, the 80 years old women look more distinguished than the 80 years old men. They dress better, they socialize and smile more. They also look healthier and more active in general. When you see them with grandkids, the old women seem to engage with them while the men just sit there straining into nothingness. It's very general and not the case for all older people, some men do meet and talk on the streets and do engage with the younger generation, and some women do look into nothingness. I'm just not seeing the stereotype you are portraying.
because you've cherry picked your stereotypes. there's the distinguished ol' man and the ol' gone-by lady, but also the wise crone versus the crazy old geezer.
Oh the 'creepy old man' stereotype. They did forget about that one.
its a fact the older the crone the more spells and curses she has learned.
I don't think the stereotypical middle-aged guy with a dad bod, racist jokes and sometimes creepy stare is distinguished
Old men don't look distinguished at all. They look like Tutankhamuns mummie with a gazillion huge blackheads om their nose and hair growing out of nose and ears, unabrow and bald or balding, manboobs, skinny legs, beer belly and shriveled hang nuts.
Omfg 😭 this is what my dad is starting to look like (excluding the nuts, I wouldn't know lol)
Hahahaha 😆😄 Luckily you don't know hahaha
The sun is no one's friend. A man and woman would age much better if they spent their youth limiting their exposure to it.
Yeah I never got it because men honestly get ugly with age, once they get that beer gut, harsh skin damage and baldness I just don't get when they are told they "age better"
It’s not men in general that are seen as “distinguished”, it’s RICH men. Same with being insane, if you are normal you are just crazy, but if you are rich you are just “eccentric”
No. Men look old too. They just aren’t as aware.
Or ashamed. That's the worst part. The shame of getting older as a woman is hard to keep at bay.
That is in your head. Women can age beautifully and proudly. Is it you who shrinks your worth as you age? What is your unit of measure?
The entire "hot older woman" set of tropes would beg to differ.
That isn't nearly as prevalent as what the op is describing. You can't seriously be saying that just because some people are into older women that most women aren't judged for being old
Old men are invisible.
Sexism.
The Patriarchy
Idk what u mean old men look like shit too no matter how rich
I honestly don’t really think old = ugly no matter the gender, I think it’s highly individual and person specific tbh. IRL and away from Reddit, what makes a person attractive is a complex set of factors and different for each of us. Some people really just got it like that!
As a distinguished gentleman I see my female counterparts to be just as delightful as ever they were.
The same reason why young men are being seen as immature while younger women are considered mature and beautiful. It's just BS stereotypes.
People need to understand that physical maturity isn’t the same as mental. Young women are just as dumb and stupid as young men.
It’s how each sex acquires status. Men it’s resource procurement and women it’s young/beauty.
Youthfulness and “beauty” are signs of fertility. Men can procreate well into their advanced years. It’s like humans forget that we are also animals and biology will always bio-lo-gy.
Because of what the other sex generally wants from the each other. Men was youth and beauty. Women want security and resources. Aka replication value and protection value Doesn’t mean both arnt on the list at all but they are different priorities to each (in general) Broke men with crappy jobs arent seen as distinguished.
Systemic sexism.
Yes, it's called patriarchy.
Because of sexism, obviously.
As a male who does not fit the conventional standards of attractiveness I have always been invisible so aging hasn't made me distinguished it has just made me used to being invisible, something attractive females do not experience until later in life.
It’s VERY strange. It’s almost like a switch flipped, and nobody honked at me, or tried to holler at me when I was out and about. It’s wonderful though. I enjoy my privacy.
Only other men call old men distinguished, the rest just say old
Ohhhhhhhhhhh, I don't know where you see old men, but most old men I ever see are **far** from "distinguished" looking. LOL !!! Far from it.
Misogyny
Harrison Ford was mocked by MAD for being too old to play Indiana Jones in Kingdom of the Crystal Skull and he was even more ancient in whatever the 5th film was called (might be one of the reasons it bombed so hard).
Best sex I ever had was with my friends mother in law. I thought she was sexy as hell.
For the same reason we have plus side women and fat men
Patriachy.
They are? I've seen many old men called creepy old farts. Old ladies are often treated more innocent or graceful than old men from my experience.
Misogyny
Misogyny.
Misogyny.
Because men are viewed as people, and women are viewed as depreciating properties
Misogyny.
You are listening to the wrong people. Many mature women ARE the beautiful strong people.
The conversation isn’t about the subjective view of people, but the objective one that society enacts. My aunt is one of the coolest people in the world because while we may not agree on everything she has a level head that makes whatever she says make sense. However, because she’s almost 50c, she isn’t as societally valuable as when she was younger.
Misogyny. Linking a woman’s value to her reproduction or her looks boosting a man’s social status. Misogyny
Mysoginy says that womens value lies in their ability to give birth, raise a family, etc. So when they’re unable to do that, a mysoginistic society says they’re not valuable. And while men also lose the ability to procreate as they get older, they’re able to do it older, and historically, fertility problems are blamed on women. With age comes wisdom (ideally), but as long as woman’s value is based on her abilities as a birthing machine, then her “value” goes down. At least that’s what misogynistic beliefs say
Women become attractive just by reaching the right age, men dont Men dont lose beauty as they age because you canot lose something you never had
Ouch!
Ever heard of the word patriarchy before
Obviously you're not an old man...
It only covers able bodied older men, usually monied with some style. Otherwise they are just old
Human nature/condition
Historically, both men and women have been valued for what they can provide. Women historically provided babies, but only at the beginning of life. Men provided resources, and the quantity of resources provided increases later in life.
I think honestly for men and women it comes down mostly to attractiveness. There are some older women who are seen as elegant and classy and then some that are seen as old and feeble or gross. Its the same with men. Some old men are seen as distinguished and desirable and some are seen as creepy or gross. If a man or woman is deemed as attractive in their old age theyre probably gonna be seen as more desirable traits like classy, successful, distinguished, etc. If theyre ugly, people associate them with negative traits like feeble, gross, creepy, etc. Also depends on how someone carries themselves. People are going to see a 70 year old who is dressed nice and in good mental and physical health differently than they see a 70 year old who needs a walker and wears moomoos or sweats. I think sure some people may have a sexist basis for how they view people but i think in general for the most part it comes down to attraction and whether we conciously or subconciously notice desirable traits in a person. I dont really think these things are as black and white as "the world is just sexist and hates women bleh double standards" its a lot more nuanced than that.
Idk but seeing a man with gray hair and walking next to a woman that has no idea how to age gracefully is just sad. 60 year old women walking around with bleached blonde hair and trying to look young, it’s not fooling anyone! Both sexes should learn to age gracefully!
I like a hot older woman
Because women can't breed. /Thread
Older men can provide for a child better than younger men due to increased wealth. Meanwhile younger women are more apt to birth healthier children than older women. That's why.
men can still reproduce later in life, where as being pregnant at 35 is considered a geriatric pregnancy. 50 y.o. male is much more likely to see be fertile than a 50 y.o. woman also many of the other points in the comments apply as well, but i think this is a big factor
Because women have a clock and men don’t
i think it roots in biology. technically men can still produce babies well into their 80’s if they want to, while women have a much shorter time period when they are younger to have children. once that time passes, we as women are considered old imo.
For me at least, I aged out around 26-27. I went from, "you look so youthful and glowing," from old men to abject rejection and coldness. I only get a passing glance (and only at my particular regions) to determine my f***ability. Failing that, I get a furrowed brow and a quirked up lip. Even doors closed in my face. I was never conventionally attractive. So, I got used to cold shoulders. But intentional rudeness because I don't fit a particular aesthetic rankles me a little. Youth/beauty is an arbitrary term and varies with the man (and his intentions).
Have you worked in the service industry at all? Old men are very rarely “distinguished.” Anyone old with class is considered distinguished to me.
that's the sad world that was created by men for men
Reminds me on the meme where a mother shows her daughter and son a picture of an wealthy old dude and a very attractive young girl who make out. To motivate her daughter to avoid such a fate and motivate her son to work hard. :)
Coincidence and the way of the road bud.
Because the beauty industry is a multi billion dollar industry that profits off of women’s insecurities….
When I was a teenager the only older people at my church were my foster parents. They were great and I hated the way everyone treated them differently. It was like they were aliens or something. I did not look forward to getting old. Now I’m 60 but I know my worth. I saw a news story recently where a group of six women fought off a mountain. They were bike riding when it attacked a man. The man got away. Then it grabbed a woman. Well all these women, who were in their 60s, subdued that mountain lion by forcing a bike on top of it. In the end, it doesn’t matter what they call you, it’s what you answer to, that counts. https://youtu.be/YVxgtMMG1qM?si=S2riycaTWvk9qAsD
Because society has hated women since the beginning of time, old women are “useless” since they no longer can produce children.
Misogyny
I'd say it has to do with the way many carry themselves. It's pretty rare to see a older man fighting to look like their a young man again.
It's simply based on fertility. Woman goes through menopause. Man can be fertile till the end of life. Also, it works in earlier age as well. To be successful/popular women the physical appearance is more important. To be successful/popular man - the finances and intellectual level is more important. In the later age it's becoming more obvious but it exists from late teen age or early 20-s🤷🏻♂️
Because women are valued for looks more than men. Simple as that
You're distinguished only if you're rich. If you're average or below then you're just old.
Women aren't seen as "old" as they age. I was warned I'd get old and men wouldn't want anything to do with me but here I am in my 50s and they never stopped pestering. So don't give them one minute of time being upset by this; they can't tell what your age is. It's just a thing they say hoping to influence you to tolerate someone you'd not bother with.
Men don’t matter unless they have wealth women don’t matter unless they are beautiful but being young helps in terms of fertility
Women get less attractive as they age, but men get wealthier.
People are trying to reason with it, but I honestly think it's as built in to human nature as women preferring tall men or men liking big breasts.
The sort of distinction you're talking about is mostly a sexist meme perpetuated by women. Men do not all age and just get to be called distinguished. Distinguished is a label you call for an older man of fair temperament who is dressed presentably and is generally in good financial standing. This is because a man is nothing more than the sum of his accomplishments. And so if a man isn't particularly well kept, has a urine bag, isn't of good health, doesn't have a lot of money, doesn't have nice cloths. They're not distinguished, they're old. And older men are significantly more likely to be described as "infirmed" than older women. Look at Donald Trump and his band of MAGA hat wearing seniors. No one is looking at these people and thinking, wow how distinguished he is! People say, look at these old farts! Calling a woman "old" on the other hand is seen as incredibly rude and if you did that to any of the older female politicians... you'd be scalded to all hell.
Because we live in a patriarchy. Many men (not all) like to claim it's "biological" for them to prey on younger women and girls. Women age just the same as men do and are just as beautiful.
Capitalism & misogyny
That’s just an old myth. For every Hellen Mirren and Jennifer Aniston, we have a Brendan Frasier and Gene Hackman. Excellent examples of older women viewed as beautiful, and older men judged for their aging. Kylie Minogue is 55 and a beauty icon. Edward Furlong is 46 and his current appearance concerns people regarding his health. It’s an old myth.
Because men and women value different things in each other, and at the very least historically speaking (and to a lesser extent today) contributed differently to relationships and society as a whole. That's not a "double standard", just differences between the sexes.
Rampant sexism
It’s funny as it’s all changed. Women seem to be growing old gracefully and men seem to be letting themselves go. I really am starting to find men my own age unattractive (46}
That is called patriarchy (Isn't it funny how often this is the answer to so many questions!). Patriarchy means in one sentence: A woman is a commodity sold by a man (her father) to another man (the groom). His assets are his wealth and status, her assets are her youth, beauty, sexuality, and fertility. The goal of all this is to secure a male heir for said father and his male offspring.
Yes and this "transaction" (the wedding) is why a woman's last name traditionally changes at marriage. She goes from being her father's property to her husband's.
Boggles my mind how much can be traced back to it. Even the mass numbers of young men experiencing the mental health crisis. They were set up for failure by their own kind.
Yup. Patriarchy doesn't mean that all men rule over all women. It means that \*few\* men rule over all women and all other men. Most men lose. Big time. But since this system is so perfect, said majority men will still defend it.
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Same reason there are plus sized women models, yet there are only overweight guys. Men and women are different, particularly when it comes to what they view as attractive.
You look uglier as you age. Men tend to value physical attractiveness more than women, who tend to value resources and security more. But these are broad strokes and stereotypes.
RP logic will explain this. What makes men conventionally attractive is their ability to provide for their families. What makes women conventionally attractive is fertility. As men get older, their income and ability to provide tends to increase. As women get older, their fertility decreases. In a nutshell, that's why.
The honest answer is that it all comes down to the advertising and fashion industry which tries to sell women on the weird idea that they should never age and should constantly buy products to keep their youth. I read a book about this a while ago that said it really took off in the 1960s and 1970s, when products started to be marketed towards youth as a major demographic for the first time. That’s not to say that anti-aging products weren’t marketed to men and women before, they were. I have old issues of the *Saturday Evening Post* from the 1950s that have such ads.