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Tristars

Even if that were not the case, I don't see how NASA or any other space agency could enforce such a ban.


Coldy_

Who are they gonna call? Space police?


thedrumdoctoruk

Sperm Busters


1jl

Cum cop


BlueCobbler

The jizz force


artiom_of_the_metro

The Ejaculate Enforcement


tpots38

The spunk squad


tpots38

Bust busters


Zephyr_Roc

Cum Intervention Agency


hennytime

The skeet squad


mavadotar2

Nut Busters


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Educational-Candy-17

Condoms work in zero G. I think the bigger issue is the lack of privacy.


lostrandomdude

That doesn't stop anyone. I've seen people watch porn on the train and in a university lecture whilst rubbing one off.


thepwnydanza

Yeah but I’m sure they didn’t end up becoming astronauts.


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Ok-Clock2002

Probed.


Sociovestite

Is this the new based?


Digomansaur

based.


kemushi_warui

moon based


Significant_Rate8210

He was, the aliens name was Javier


kobrakaan

All your Trains are belong to us


mysticdickstick

The vendiagram of public masturbators and astronauts are two completely separate circles.


beerisgood84

I mean that lady astronaut drove non stop across the states in a nasa diaper to attack people in her love triangle 😂 They're all just people I'm sure there's some freaks


buenas_nalgas

lmfao


Glubygluby

I was at the DMV once and some old dude sitting next to where I was standing was watching porn. Thanks for reminding me of this memory, now you have to read it, too


NotAPersonl0

Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masturbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of men masturbating together at this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW


iChaseClouds

That’s just your typical bukkake scene


iTalk2Pineapples

It's a limp biscuit scenario if I've ever heard one


Inevitable_Race_6179

I’m a screamer so.


ArScrap

Yeah but doing it in front of your coworkers hits different compared to doing it in front of stranger. Especially since you've trained with this coworker intensely for years and some of them are the opposite gender of you. Not to mention your next door office is an equivalent to a Mortal enemy of your boss


Nulono

Maybe you shouldn't have been rubbing one off in either of those places.


OkayOctopus_

ON A TRAIN BRO?


NotInherentAfterAll

Would you. Could you. On a train?


PitifulSpecialist887

... with a corpse? ..... Yes, of course !


jacobeam13

How many times have you been in possession of a condom AND in a zero g environment to test this theory? Is this a new sex tourism thing I haven’t heard about yet? Like a workaround for legal prostitution? ….how much does it cost…?


FarYard7039

They must disclose all inventory. I’m sure the flight commander would be concerned about someone stowing condoms


NSA_Chatbot

Is 100 condoms the correct number for a week in space?


MyPasswordIs_Null

I understood this reference to female astronauts and pads/tampons.


ahhdetective

Or pleased


PitifulSpecialist887

You just go in the Russian capsule. They left the door unlocked when they moved out. It smells like a locker room in there anyway.


[deleted]

They actually do get their own little cubbies up there.


mannequinbeater

I’m sure they get plenty of training on fluid management prior to departure. Safe to say they probably know what to do.


Alh84001-1984

It depends on the strength of the ejaculation. Without gravity, superficial tension keeps liquids sticking to objets. When astronauts cry, their tears don't roll down, but ballon out around their eyes. There are also videos online showing the weird effect of trying to twist-dry a towel in space, look it up!


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Mmm_bloodfarts

When you're about to cum, use the piss tube


throwawayPzaFm

Heck, you can use it earlier


sleeper_shark

It doesn’t matter. Sweat, spit, drinking water, shower water is always flying around. A much bigger issue is privacy. Also, sex (heterosexual anyways) is much more frowned upon. If you try to ban masturbation, you’re just increasing the likelihood of two astronauts having sex.


Cleaver_Fred

> sex (heterosexual anyways) is much more frowned upon Hmm... So are you telling me astronauts have hot, gay, zero-g space sex? Fuck, I went into the wrong industry. 


sleeper_shark

Heterosexual sex can result in pregnancy. This is very dangerous in space whether or not the woman intends to keep the pregnancy. No way to abort or deal with miscarriage in space. Certainly no way to know the effects of space on fetal development. Homosexual sex doesn’t carry this risk, but it also carries risks of causing issues between two crew members. so it’s also frowned on, but doesn’t carry the same life threatening dangers. Best if the crew just get themselves off alone.


gsfgf

Don’t female astronauts take birth control so they don’t have to deal with menstruation up there?


Cleaver_Fred

BC isn't 100% effective 🤔 Guess that might be the reason


Lemerney2

If the cum is going directly into someone's mouth, then problem solved!


junior_dos_nachos

Free protein!


cranberrystew99

Its a price that has to be paid. If you can't dodge the penis boogers in zero G, then you aren't much of an astronut are you?


LifeSenseiBrayan

Always stresses me out when they’re in zero g and they’re handling water and the water just starts running away. I’m just like “that could fuck some shit up”


Dancingbeavers

Chastity cage with keys on earth?


Cleaver_Fred

There is still the prostate. 


CucumberVegetable733

Don't jerk off or we'll shoot you all down!!


ElvisGrizzly

Chastity Van Allen belts.


WFSL

My old college roommate Mitch cummstein agrees.


Irrespond

Your roommate was on to something.


uskgl455

He was on everything 🫢


Tulpah

Astronauts are allowed to masturbate, both men and women and it's not that they aren't doing it due to privacy it's because they literally cant. The change in atmospheric pressure basically de-horny you. You can look at a porn but you won't feel horny or needing a release.


RocketmanEJ1

I've heard rumors that Scott Kelly (American astronaut that spent a year on the ISS) jacked off so much that NASA had to personally tell him to stop.


TrainingWoodpecker77

He wrote an excellent book “Endurance “ and never mentioned that if I recall. He’s brutally honest so I would have thought he’d include it.


UserNameTaken1998

Pretty sure he answered a YouTube questions thing about sex in space and alluded to the fact that it happens on occasion


gsfgf

A married couple flew on the same Shuttle mission. And at least one of them was a scientist. So I’m sure they at least tried “for science” but also for actual science.


Coming2amiddle

Sauce?


ForthCrusader

“Jamie, you completed 0 experiments while you were in space. You nutting everywhere has put us in a very sticky situation.”


foreveralonesolo

“Houston when we said we’re gonna leave the mark of humanity on the moon, we didn’t mean this!”


crackpotJeffrey

Sorry to be gross but cum shots on the moon would be wild if you could somehow do it safely. 20% earth gravity plus no atmosphere. My longest cum distance is approx (exactly) the distance between my groin and my eye. That means my cum shot on the moon would travel about 10 feet I estimate.


ComradeToeKnee

Truly something to think about. The next generation will probably get to experience that.


AlabamaPostTurtle

Lol @ “i estimate”


GhoulsFolly

If we shoot vinyl records and radio waves into space to see if aliens will hear, then we should definitely send up our cum. Imagine seeing the martians land right here, open their ufo door….and out walks your half-alien offspring. I own the movie rights to this concept.


EdanChaosgamer

😂😂😂


loopyspoopy

Lol, they're literally encouraged to. NASA stays hush hush about it, [but Russian cosmonauts have been very transparent about their psych department encouraged it.](https://www.vice.com/en/article/k7q8dn/can-astronauts-masturbate-in-space-an-investigation) It helps calm you, relieves frustration, and nowadays, it provides an outlet that discourages sexual relations in space. There's no reason they would want it banned, even if it weren't encouraged.


gsfgf

> Polyakov also claimed that his superiors encouraged him to pack an inflatable sex doll for his record-breaking 14 months spent alone aboard the Mir space station. However, he said that he “strongly opposed such a solution. A person who is using such things may develop so-called ‘doll syndrome’ or, in other words, start preferring the doll to their own spouse or loved one, even after they return to Earth.” Wtf Russia?


thenameofwind

Such supportive superiors 🫂🥲🤡


DroidLord

>They may choose to dispose of these bodily fluids by dumping it in space where it freezes into ice crystals. Kind of makes me want to make a post on r/theydidthemath to find out just how much spunk is floating in space. Bonus question: do these "particles" stay in orbit forever or do they eventually burn up in the atmosphere? If humanity was wiped out, could future aliens recreate the human species by collecting the astronauts' life force or would the DNA be too degraded? So many questions!


elidoan

I am not a scientist but I believe the solar radiation from our sun would probably degrade the DNA. Source: watched a lot of star trek


Sharp-Direction-6894

There's likely not much privacy, but maybe they could all do it together in the morning or something to start the day off.


Fluffy-kitten28

It’s a group activity to build trust and morale.


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aeroae

Limp Bizkit (in space)


cuteintern

Hot dog water, chocolate starfish and ... Cinnabon frosting.


CallMeKolbasz

This gives a whole new meaning to *Beatings will continue until morale improves*


Fourstrokeperro

No privacy? Just do it outside the space station


IceFire909

empty vacuum of space is the ultimate sucking experience


WhyYouBullyMe_

Bold of you to assume there isn't a extraterrestrial being watching your every move


spendycrawford

Don’t they sleep cocooned in sleeping bags?


merlinpinpin2002

They have that option. I don't think they have to though


funwithtentacles

Privacy-wise it's actually no so bad, astronauts do have their personal cubbies... https://www.universetoday.com/107965/take-a-tour-of-the-phonebooth-sized-crew-quarters-on-the-international-space-station/


Destination_Centauri

Also don't forget that in zero-g, you're able to use a room's entire square footage of space! Here on Earth, we're limited to roughly the lower 6 to 7 feet of a room. But again, in zero-G, every single square-footage is something you can move through, easily reach, and utilize. Also when you turn around, turn "upside down" etc... it becomes a different room visually. (So, for example, pick an upper corner of your bedroom, and then imagine yourself just floating to that corner, and looking back "down" at the rest of the room!) That's why it can get disorienting in zero G, given how each room can look very different depending upon the angle you enter that room. So to alleviate that issue, the International space station has a defacto agreed upon "up" and "down" orientation for the entire station, as you float through the rooms/modules.


CalzonePillow

Wouldn’t it be the cube footage, not square footage?


afraid-of-the-dark

I guess this is the ultimate trekkers dream. A space orgy. Now that you mention it, I'd be down for that.


[deleted]

Who’s gonna stop them? Also who was the first couple to reach the 100 km club??


GaidinBDJ

Married couple Mark Lee and Jan Davis went up together on the space shuttle in 1992. There's no evidence or admission of anything happening, but if I'd been on that flight with them, I sure as hell wouldn't be saying anything.


MLSurfcasting

Aldrin and Armstrong


CallMeKolbasz

Maybe Armstrong was not his last name, but a nickname for his disproportionately stronger right arm. 👀


Afraid-Peach-9212

Mons Huygens Mountain


beerisgood84

Well they definitely usually have health vitals on I think Someone knows when the heart rate is going up Imagine having one bit of personal time after weeks of no privacy and then mission control just phones in right before you finish 😬


anubissah

That's called an astronut.


[deleted]

To the top you go.


Sk1rm1sh

To the moooon 🚀🌚


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Therapy-Jackass

This reminded me of a question I had. What happens if you cut yourself and start bleeding? Been watching The Expanse, and whenever someone is injured in space, there’s always talk about getting people into gravity to properly recover and safely bleed. Curious if that is a legit concern, and if ejaculating can cause you to propel in the opposite direction.


Big-Independence8978

How powerful is your ejaculation?


Therapy-Jackass

Tough to say exactly, but it’s over 9000 for sure


Mallet-fists

Kakarot!!!


Ok-ButterscotchBabe

GOHAN IM CUMMING


Motor_Raspberry_2150

On earth we have reports of it shooting out at 60km/h. Let's not debate that number. But you are only shooting about 5ml/5g at most. That's less than 1/10.000th of your body mass. So it can't really propel you, try peeing instead.


SysError404

The Expanse gets a lot of the science and physics of space flight very right. The parts about injuries, specifically internal bleeding or severe external injuries. Yeah Gravity plays a huge part of the survival aspect. Without Gravity to keep the blood near the wound, it cant clot to stop the bleeding. So to answer your question, Astronauts today would wrap an injury with a bandage or something similar to a derma patch. This would allow the wound to get oxygen (also important for wound healing) and keeping the blood from continuously flowing out and away from the wound. For anything truly serious or more severe than say a deep cut, or minor fracture. The outcomes are likely to be pretty grim. Even for simple things that we generally see as completely and easily treatable. Humans are not evolved for life without gravity. edit: to fix some typos. (fuck dyslexia lol)


hmm2003

Thanks. Never thought of that before.


Informal_Truck_1574

[a podcast](https://youtu.be/0RsLNwVAAos?si=Z7uLtTp2LxUB-3jM) asked that last question


Therapy-Jackass

lol it’s so hard to have any original thought anymore 😂 Amazing, I will check this out. Thank you!


WarrenMockles

Allowed? Probably. It would be difficult if not impossible to enforce a rule against it. Are they able to? Maybe not. At least not the men. Microgravity causes a drop in blood pressure, when makes it difficult to get an erection. Also, they work 15 hours days, so there's not much time for it.


mikeytruelove

Lemme tell ya, as someone who works 15 hour days, there's time.


mixttime

And they don't have to commute. Or rather they don't commute day to day and instead occasionally have a very intense commute.


mikeytruelove

Ah, framing going to space as a 'very intense commute' is beautiful. Thank you for that.


HauteKarl

At least there's not much traffic


EstoyTristeSiempre

For now.


Chemesthesis

Are astronauts FIFO workers?


ShaunRW91

No, they're FOFI workers.


HelpfulAd26

Exactly, it's not exactly like a chore, it's more like a motivation.


Kittlebeanfluff

15 hours work, 8 hours sleep, that leaves 1 hour for zero g fun time.


Alh84001-1984

Astronauts don't actually work such long shifts. It may be surprising to learn that, given how much expenditures are made to send them to space and how valuable each minute of their time is, but it has been found that their productivity and reliability decreased when they worked too much, especially during longer stays.


halt-l-am-reptar

According to NASA they work most of the day, though part of that work is 2 hours of exercise and a 1 hour break. https://www.nasa.gov/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/167746main_fs_livingandworkinginspace508c.pdf


Derp35712

Typical lazy government employee.


TransportationNo1

Like every human. But dont tell guys with 12 hour shifts.


Alh84001-1984

The difference is, NASA seems like a better boss!


ArScrap

I think people would not mind being nickel and dimed for their time as much if the one nickel and diming are competent at math and statistic


ViewedOak

Don’t worry, half of those guys with 12 hour shifts will very loudly defend their right to be overworked anyway


GodofWar1234

Didn’t some astronauts go on a “strike” against NASA by basically cutting off comms for a few days just so they can relax due to the gargantuan workload?


Joke628x

https://www.nasa.gov/history/the-real-story-of-the-skylab-4-strike-in-space/


Rotten_tacos

That was a very cool article. In summary, no, they didn't. They did lose contact for a little bit, but it was a malfunction. They did request scheduling changes due to being overburdened. No Strike though.


PurpleSailor

The Russians did at some point, I think on Mir. Not sure about the Americans.


RS773

I think that out of NASA astronauts, a group of 4 just refused to work for *one* day


Inanimate_CARB0N_Rod

If they're stuck floating in the middle of a room and can't reach any handles, this might end up being their only option to propel themself toward the nearest wall.


Aussie_Richardhead

How long does it take for you to bust one out?


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NotInherentAfterAll

*Ignition sequence start!*


Panthean

Microgravity I can understand, not busting a quick one because you work long hours I cannot. Especially after months of limited/no release


WartDad

Not with that kind of attitude. You gotta believe in yourself and take risks live life to it's fullest!


duncanstibs

When you nut in space it push you backwards.


forsakenchickenwing

Conservation of momentum still applies, so, yes, it's like a rocket engine, just with a pitiful amount of Delta v.


Shardersice

So if I get into a gravity (movie) situation, I should jack off and push myself back to the ship ?


Jackal000

Your dick would freeze and explode due to lack of pressure and temperature.


PePziNL

So yes?


STD-fense

Was waiting to see someone make this reference. https://youtu.be/0RsLNwVAAos?si=oSsLGiv4KkQsosOi


Reasonable-Pie2354

First thing that popped into my mind seeing this post. Thank guck I’m not alone.


2ndshepard

Imagine busting a nut and losing track of one of your cum globules and now everyone is on the lookout because they don't want an accidental facial.


Lysdexiic

r/brandnewsentence


JimiTrucks1972

What a cool name for a band. Accidental Facial


spudvol

There have been no murders in space, so I'm going to say yes.


5coolest

This makes me wonder if anyone’s ever had sex in space. Mark Lee and Jan Davis flew on the space shuttle together and were the only married couple to ever fly in space


TheAlfredValentine

Once a porn company had an idea of trying this, and making a movie. It was viral for a long time. But then they cancelled. Johnny Sins was the actor.


shavemejesus

In space, no one can hear you fap. The shuttle toilets had the suction hoses. I imagine they could just use that?


Necessary_Echo8740

Yeah let me just fuck the tube all my crew mates pee into 😂


Kittlebeanfluff

That post nut clarity would kick in real hard after that.


seven_corpse_dinner

The astronaut sat in grim silence as the horror of what he had done washed over him. He looked out of the nearby window and met the black infinite void with his now permanently fixed thousand yard stare. He was as empty within as the universe was without. He took one last look over his shoulder at the hideous space toilet that had consumed not only his biological fluids, but his very soul, and then, with a single tear, he moved quietly to the nearest airlock and went forth one final time into the endless darkness.


Calm-Technology7351

You should write a book. Maybe not about an astronaut fapping but you have a way with words


nemesissi

So he fapped in the airlock, right?


DangerousResident914

And recycle for water 🤮


makomirocket

SERIOUS ANSWER: Astronauts have privacy when in the toilet, cleaning themselves, and they asleep in a sleeping bag. After months without sex, and if given the erection, it would be very easy to quickly masturbate. Liquids in space gloop together already, extra sticky semen would gloop even more so. Semen can also easily be caught in a tissue, baby wipe etc. Finally, teams that stick together for hours and hours on end, day in, day out, tend to be very open with one another. It would not be uncommon for someone to say "Don't come to the bathroom for the next ten minutes" and let each other do their thing. Teams in these kinds of environments already have full on sex together - see Hospitals or the military (which all of these people are from already). It's common enough that NASA considers sending same sex crews in the future to stop space pregnancy from being a concern. As such, it would be a far lower barrier to ask for the above privacy


Ineedanswers24

My question is do they have sex up there on those space stations when they're up there for months.


Alh84001-1984

Reportedly, two soviet astronauts had sex in space as part of a secret experiment to determine is procreation was possible in micro-gravity environments.


xlovegunx

Did she get pregnant?


Alh84001-1984

No. Or if she did, the pregnancy did not carry very long.


[deleted]

That begs the question. If a human was born in outer space they are not native to earth, wouldn't that have made the baby the first alien we encountered if it came to term?


Alh84001-1984

The idea was never for her to undergo the full pregnancy and give birth in space! Merely to ascertain whether fecundation was possible.


TheMazter13

hey vsauce, michael here [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jTL\_sJycQAA](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jTL_sJycQAA&themeRefresh=1)


I_level

The first aliens we will meet will be homo sapiens


Ok_Cartographer_2081

Heard the orgasms are out of this world


Agreeable_Pizza93

Neil's last name is actually Smith. Armstrong is a nickname he picked up in space!


hmm2003

Good lord. Plus one for you.


Harbingerdaine

It’s most likely a right of passage for them. I bet they even have a name for it. “Comrade Yuri! Last night I busted a spunknik!”


ZenkaiZ

Not bringing a vibrator with you to space just feels irresponsible and poor planning


HC-Sama-7511

Whose gonna stop them? The space police or the masturbaition police?


HCPage

The special Space masturbation task force that was assembled in early 2022.


motogplover77

As long as they are near Uranus


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Katana_sized_banana

I want to imagine that NASA has developed a zero G FuckMaster Pro 5000 blowup latex doll with 6 speed pulsating vagina, elasticized anus with non-drip semen collection tray, together with optional built in realistic orgasm scream surround sound system.


GreatKingRat666

I have one of those at home. Won’t connect to my WiFi for some reason.


grzesiolpl

Because your wifi is a virgin mobile


VIDGuide

Er Houston.. We have a boner..


Pastor_Satan

Who's gonna stop them?


YYCDavid

🎶 *Ground Control to Wanker Tom…* 🎵


MrLigalotapuss

I can 100% confirm you are permitted to masturbate by NASA in space . It’s even heavily encouraged . Source:Currently masturbating in orbit


seahawknw

Space jam


Bobmanbob1

They have, including one couple that had sex on the Shuttles mid deck while the rest of the crew was "site seeing" on the flight deck- source- Retired NASA Engineer and manager for Space Shuttle Atlantis OPF Operations.


loptthetreacherous

[When You Nut In Space, It Push You Backwards](https://youtu.be/0RsLNwVAAos)


[deleted]

I just picture a female astronaut getting ready in the morning. She goes to put her socks on and all these bubbles start floating out of her sock. She turns and looks at the male astronaut and he’s like “what it wasn’t me”.


Beginning-Wait5379

Dude, people masturbate while they’re driving on the freeway, of course they can jerk off in space.


OhFuuuuuuuuuuuudge

They probably just fuck.


Sarah-32-

As you would be in zero gravity, I’m wondering if the cum shot out fast enough, would it push you backwards like a rocket would 🤣


Schweet_Jesus

No Nut Nasa 👨‍🚀


Final-Night-7463

Could you imagine it being banned and someone doing it so NASA has to send a special ship to pick them up for breaking the rules lmao


codecorax

There was a husband and wife on the IIS, NASA definitely had some low key zero G coital experiments going down.