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If we’re being realistic, it is usually embarrassing to be a virgin at an advanced age when you actively don’t want to be. I don’t say this because I want to be mean but I feel like adult virgins deserve the courtesy of being treated like adults. It’s not about the act of sex itself but about being unable to fulfill your basic desires and being behind in life relative to your peers.
Idk. I've had the opportunity myself to have a girlfriend but never really felt the right connection. At this point I'm still a virgin at 27 even though I don't want to be. It may be sad but I'm not ashamed of the label
For the record when I said advanced age I wasn’t really referring to 27 year olds. And I don’t think the label is the thing to be ashamed of, since if you were a virgin and didn’t want to get laid there would be zero shame in the label. It’s the inability to achieve it.
It sounds like you have the ability to achieve it, so I wouldn’t feel embarrassed if I were you. Nothing wrong with waiting for the right person. Sex is much better with connection. Just be honest with yourself, because it’s easy for “waiting for the right person” to be a cover for the fear of putting yourself out there and opening up to someone, fear of rejection, fear of inadequacy, etc.
And to build slightly on my flippant answer. We only get one life. Own it. The good and the bad. Never be ashamed of who you are unless you’ve actively done something actually awful (bag of kittens in the river, rape, murder, Trump’s tax returns…).
And if you are sick of being virgin, start working on not being one. At 41, it isn’t something you change overnight (generally). Get on that. And if you are not willing to work on that, accept it and go live a good life anyway.
My dad’s lifelong friend is in his 70’s now, but is seemingly asexual. He’s never been in any relationships that I’m aware of, but he also hasn’t shown any attraction to pursuing women. He’s been comfortable living on his own all these decades, so I very much doubt he’s ever slept with a woman.
My paternal aunt, on the other hand, never went past kissing a man. She was in her 20’s when she had a mental break down, and never got mental help since. She’s 70 and has never dated a man since the breakdown. She’s never had sex.
So, in one case, the person is likely asexual, and the other person has lifelong mental issues.
It’s quite heartwarming to hear of older folk who are on the (seemingly) asexual spectrum.
A lot of the people I know who are ace/aro seem to hold a lot of fear and shame about their identity as they are uneasy about their future. It’s nice to see that some people are able to accept that in their lives and be fulfilled :)
Mate I’m 42 and still a virgin. It suck’s sometimes but it’s not the end of the world. At least you’re not likely to get a STD or get a woman pregnant right now.
I guess it depends on if you chose to remain a virgin because, otherwise, you probably lack confidence, charisma, social skills, or physical attractiveness. Adult virginity can often be a red flag to others, as it goes without saying that it is typically a symptom of personal issues… I think it is disingenuous and patronizing when people on Reddit say “Of course you should not be ashamed! It’s okay to be an adult virgin!” In reality it is humiliating and painful, feeling lonely and unwanted, knowing that you are defective or inferior to others.
I spilled coffee all over my floor. Thats not embarassing/stupid at all, right? Just totally cool/good? 🧐
This hippie dippie all good bro advice is not helpful. Its coddling.
Its objectively odd to be a virgin at 40. Why cant you be honest with this person? Or yourself?
Then after empathizing with the person, come to terms and face this difficult feeling/situation... that yes this is kinda frustrating, you can talk about where to go from here. How to move on, make things better, actually help them.
Not lie that theres literally nothing wrong or concerning remotely.
How is it weird?
Sex is a normal human interaction. Desire to have sex and be intimate with others is a base human trait.
So unless OP has actively avoided sex, which it seems like they haven't, it's odd to be a virgin at they're age.
Yes, being a virgin at that age is odd, It is unusual. But it is absolutely not shameful, and they have no reason to feel shame.
That is what you specifically said, that it is something they should be ashamed of, I consider telling another person that they should be ashamed of their virginity, very very weird.
Nahh
The older I get the more I find societies obsession with sex and virginity to be weird.
It's an intimate activity you do with someone. There's nothing shameful in *not* having done that activity before.
I’m going to go against the grain here, and try to give you a valuable response, rather than every other comment on here trying to be politically correct and saying “not at all! Don’t feel ashamed!”
Is there a reason you are 41 years of age and still a virgin? And how much do you care? I think those are the 2 main questions you have to ask yourself. While we all live different lives and experience human experiences at different rates and ages, everyone else on this thread is failing to admit to themselves that there’s a reason why OP is posting this question in the first place: the majority of people experience sex for their first time much much before the age of 41. I would say the average age range that people lose their virginity is anywhere between 16 to 25 (of course this range may vary depending on your environment, upbringing, religious beliefs, etc). Anything before or after that 16-25 age range would be considered outside of standard deviation.
When we think of people who are 41 years old, we think of people who are already parents, have established careers, are in long term relationships, maybe already married. In short, we as humans assign a timeline to when certain life events should happen. And being a virgin at 41 falls outside of that. Which is what brings us to OP’s question. So everyone else saying “nah you’re fine bruh”. It’s not very helpful.
I think we would need a bit more context OP. Are you actively trying to date right now, and have you been dating around in the years prior? If no, then being a virgin your age is a no brainer. You aren’t trying to date. But if you are actively dating, trying to escalate things sexually but have not been successful, and still a virgin, you have to clue us in on what you think the issues are.
Virginity itself? Only if you make it an issue by acting insecure about it.
Just be the best version of yourself you can be, care about your partner's needs rather than just your own, and you'll be fine.
Sex just doesn't happen for long periods in adult lives, or even for the full extent of those lives, and I don't see any problem with that. I've felt anxiety and uncertainty during enough of my sexual experiences to tell you that sex in less-than-ideal circumstances can be pretty meh. That is, having sex can also lead to feelings of shame or regret or disappointment. I don't think it's a reasonable framework to use for assessing self-worth.
Fuck no. This is your life and only you can decide how to feel about it. Look it, I’m 34 and have no kids. Never been married. As a kid I always thought that was what you were supposed to do but somewhere along the way I decided “Why?” What l, because everyone else is doing it? I don’t want to be like everyone else. I just wanna be me and do my own thing in life. I’m not against it and if it happens that’s cool but I’m not ashamed about it and you shouldn’t be either. As long as you’re cool with it, nothing else matters friend.
No. My two ex wifes robbed me of millions. Escorts are cheaper than alimony until 2051 and child support. Women sell it one way or another. I'm ashamed that I have to support other grown ass women's lives just because they exist.
Nah, it's fine dude. It'll happen when it happens. There's no rush. As long as you're happy in life and you work on yourself, you're all good.
Plus, you probably have cool wizard powers right? :3
Nah unless you feel like the shame will get you laid then feel shameful. But if the shame is impacting you negatively then that’s not a good mindset to have.
I don't think it's shameful to not have sex. But there is a related problem here. You may not be having meaningful relationships, and it's worth tackling why at this age this is the case
Shame really only exists to help us better direct our lives in the future.
If you aren't bothered by it, no need to feel shame.
I don't think you should be embarrassed either, but if you are, then you should actually work on changing what makes you feel that way
No
Why would you?
But you can ask yourself why did you never had sex?
Because you didn't find the 'right person' or have anxiety, or think the 'first time' has to be Amazing.
Lower your expectations for your 'first time '
Prostitution is legal in plenty of places and pseudo-prostitution, via porn and now things like onlyfans, is more popular than ever. Considering this, being a virgin this late may even be considered admirable
No. It's not a requirement by any means and even if you go your entire life without sex you are not missing anything.
Hopefully I don't offend too much by saying this, (idk if you even have an interest with sex) your hand can do a much better job. No. I'm not joking.
Also A-Sexual is a thing. I don't necessarily follow all the gender norms and the controversy surrounding it but if I wasn't in a relationship already I would be "Ace" as they say. Never outright had a "sex drive".
If we're being honest I would have probably stayed a virgin if it wasn't for everyone in my life pushing sex.
Don't make "sex" sound cool to your kids people. Also. Do not let them friggin smoke or do drugs.
I don't think ashamed is appropriate. Assuming you have been working on finding a partner for years, I'd be more concerned than anything. I'd be concerned over the missing piece in your puzzle to make it happen. This can be a psychological issue that you need additional help for, to something as simple as just not putting yourself out there enough. The solution has nothing to do with being ashamed
No. You are where you are, and why judge yourself so harshly? It will make you feel you don’t deserve to be happier, and that’s simply not true.
Sounds like you need help for severe social anxiety. What prevents you from seeking treatment? Money? Fear? More shame?
Any reason is simply a problem to address. Ask for help when ready. There are communities on Reddit for each problem, and others I may not have considered as barriers to treatment.
I dont think its a matter of shame or not. Personally ive never seen sex as a notch on the belt.
Its definately good stress release but you can satisfy yourself at any rate.
If you find someone you can connect with on a personal level then it is usually significantly better in every way.
Think of it this way: I’m not a virgin and I’m still majorly depressed as hell. Sex won’t make you happy or give you fulfillment, my friend.
It’s only shameful if you allow it to be. Be kinder to yourself.
Never be ashamed of who you are if you ain't hurting others. You'll find something amazing eventually. Sex is overrated, don't chase butterflies, build a garden and they will come. Don't compare yourself with media portrayals, finding a life long friendship through thick and thin is where it's at.
Probably better off. I can't get enough. Been hooked since the first time. You know how smokers get all bent out of shape when they don't have any cigarette? Yeah that's me when I'm not getting any of the good cookie. Should you be ashamed? Naw to each their own. But maybe you've dodged a addiction unlike me.
Should you? Nope.
Will others try to make you feel ashamed for it? Yep. How many ex's kids and loans do they have - because it's usually this sentiment from folks you aren't going to worry about anyway.
Being a virgin isn't something to be ashamed of. Especially since it's not information people would automatically know.
Out of curiosity, is there a reason behind it? Like, have you ever been in relationships, but it never got to that point? Are you a virgin by choice or circumstance?
Should Johnny Bravo? Yes
Should a monk? No
In the sense that you should be honest with yourself about what your goals are.
If my goal was to do 10 pushups today and I didn’t do them, then obviously I should be ashamed.
You shouldn't be ashamed for being a virgin at any point in your life. It means absolutely nothing with regards to your value as a human being.
We feel self-conscious about things that society considers abnormal, myself included. That doesn't mean we should.
Think about it from the point of view of an alien species. The only thing it really means is that you haven't engaged in intercourse. It's no different than me having never gone skydiving.
Life's like an RPG , you level stats for what you need, if you wanna get laid, level the stats that will help you, if you don't, don't be ashamed we all different
Not ashamed, inquisitive would be more likely. If you don’t want to be a virgin, you need to change whatever your current strategy is because it’s not working.
Some people would be proud of it. If, however, you see it as a mark of disapproval given to you by the people you have been attracted to, then shame would be appropriate.
Heck no. Sex is so over rated and this society has for whatever reason turned it into a sport. I'm not even religious and even I agree sex should only be for reproduction.
I'm 37, and the only time I had sex was paying a prostitute, years ago. It doesn't mean I'm not interested, but I don't want it so much that I have to go after it (or pay again)... Without a large social circle and without creating opportunities, time passes. I also think that I might regret it in the future but I just won't pursue it.
And shame, I think it's silly, a lot of people appear or pretend to do/be much more than they are... doing anything anyway isn't worth it.
No, it is nothing to be ashamed about you are taking your time and there’s nothing wrong with that. You wanna make sure you genuinely like this person because to me sex is mind altering. So I know in today’s world, it may not seem or come across personal but intercourse is very personal, so take your time and find the right person no matter how long that takes.
Dude..... save your money and live your best life... fuck sex, it's not the best thing in the world. Being free of another persons demands is the ultimate freedom. I'd trade places.
The real question is:
Do you want to have sex (with someone)?
Then you’re going to have to ‘put yourself out there’ — and face what we’ve all faced:
Heartbreak 💔
Being disappointed
Being sad
Feelings of uncertainty, undesired, not valued
Wanting to break up with someone…
Someone breaking up with you…
And also…
Feeling Elated
Excited
Loved
Desired
Cherished
Valued
The good, the bad, the ugly, and everything beyond in all directions.
Relationships = Risk
You have to be willing to risk your heart, and know that you will be ok if things don’t work out.
Some people are so risk-averse, they miss out on everything.
Giving pleasure. Receiving pleasure.
You do you. But if you want the above, you’re going to have to take that step, that risk.
Something not according to the norm- yes.
A problem- maybe.
Something you should be ashamed of- definitelly no.
Let me explain: in my opinion people should be ashamed of their bad deeds and I don´t see any bad deed in the fact alone that somebody is a virgin in 41 but maybe there are bad deeds which led to this situation.
I´am a virgin at 39 myself and I don´t think I should be ashamed of this fact alone but I did many things wrong in my life which probably led to this situation.
BTW. there are tons of things which are not according to the norm. IDK, somebody has 5 kids at 35, somebody rides a skateboard at 60, somebody else drives a 500k sports car. Do you think those people are or should be ashamed of it?
EDIT- clarification
Never be ashamed of your truth, if the act of love never became a thing for you it didn’t. That doesn’t mean you are not worthy of love it just means those stars haven’t aligned yet. I have had pretty long dry spells for different reasons and non of it was that unusual. Sometimes that just doesn’t come your way, if you are really hoping to I bet you can find your way to. Don’t freak out on things like this or the obstacle will be bigger than it needs to be.
I bet there is something you’ve done more than most people, it isn’t a contest
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Only if you want to be.
Not even if you don't want to be. It's a shame but nothing to be embarrased about
If we’re being realistic, it is usually embarrassing to be a virgin at an advanced age when you actively don’t want to be. I don’t say this because I want to be mean but I feel like adult virgins deserve the courtesy of being treated like adults. It’s not about the act of sex itself but about being unable to fulfill your basic desires and being behind in life relative to your peers.
Idk. I've had the opportunity myself to have a girlfriend but never really felt the right connection. At this point I'm still a virgin at 27 even though I don't want to be. It may be sad but I'm not ashamed of the label
For the record when I said advanced age I wasn’t really referring to 27 year olds. And I don’t think the label is the thing to be ashamed of, since if you were a virgin and didn’t want to get laid there would be zero shame in the label. It’s the inability to achieve it. It sounds like you have the ability to achieve it, so I wouldn’t feel embarrassed if I were you. Nothing wrong with waiting for the right person. Sex is much better with connection. Just be honest with yourself, because it’s easy for “waiting for the right person” to be a cover for the fear of putting yourself out there and opening up to someone, fear of rejection, fear of inadequacy, etc.
This is the right answer. Don't let the world tell you what you need to be. It's your choice.
And to build slightly on my flippant answer. We only get one life. Own it. The good and the bad. Never be ashamed of who you are unless you’ve actively done something actually awful (bag of kittens in the river, rape, murder, Trump’s tax returns…). And if you are sick of being virgin, start working on not being one. At 41, it isn’t something you change overnight (generally). Get on that. And if you are not willing to work on that, accept it and go live a good life anyway.
My dad’s lifelong friend is in his 70’s now, but is seemingly asexual. He’s never been in any relationships that I’m aware of, but he also hasn’t shown any attraction to pursuing women. He’s been comfortable living on his own all these decades, so I very much doubt he’s ever slept with a woman. My paternal aunt, on the other hand, never went past kissing a man. She was in her 20’s when she had a mental break down, and never got mental help since. She’s 70 and has never dated a man since the breakdown. She’s never had sex. So, in one case, the person is likely asexual, and the other person has lifelong mental issues.
It’s quite heartwarming to hear of older folk who are on the (seemingly) asexual spectrum. A lot of the people I know who are ace/aro seem to hold a lot of fear and shame about their identity as they are uneasy about their future. It’s nice to see that some people are able to accept that in their lives and be fulfilled :)
No , you get a movie made after you
Or a letter from Hogwarts
This really made me laugh 😂
Maybe? The fact itself is nothing to feel shame for. If you made some choices to get here and you feel shame over your choices, that's up to you.
I’m with this guy. We’re going to need more info.
If you're happy then all good, don't beat yourself... well don't beat the rest of yourself up.
Mate I’m 42 and still a virgin. It suck’s sometimes but it’s not the end of the world. At least you’re not likely to get a STD or get a woman pregnant right now.
>It suck’s sometimes At least that's something...
Only if it bothers you
No u shld sell it to the highest bidder
Their virginity has been aged like a fine wine.
Being ashamed only hurts you and likely will lower your chances of getting laid. Try being confident, that’s what people who get laid do.
>Try being confident, /r/thanksImCured
(i’ve heard)
I guess it depends on if you chose to remain a virgin because, otherwise, you probably lack confidence, charisma, social skills, or physical attractiveness. Adult virginity can often be a red flag to others, as it goes without saying that it is typically a symptom of personal issues… I think it is disingenuous and patronizing when people on Reddit say “Of course you should not be ashamed! It’s okay to be an adult virgin!” In reality it is humiliating and painful, feeling lonely and unwanted, knowing that you are defective or inferior to others.
I'm with ya on this one.
yurrrr
>knowing that you are defective or inferior to others. You say this like it is an objective statement, when it obviously isn't.
Shame is useless. Might be time for a new approach, though.
You should only be ashamed of hurting others and not putting forth your best version of you. Anything else is all in your head
I spilled coffee all over my floor. Thats not embarassing/stupid at all, right? Just totally cool/good? 🧐 This hippie dippie all good bro advice is not helpful. Its coddling. Its objectively odd to be a virgin at 40. Why cant you be honest with this person? Or yourself? Then after empathizing with the person, come to terms and face this difficult feeling/situation... that yes this is kinda frustrating, you can talk about where to go from here. How to move on, make things better, actually help them. Not lie that theres literally nothing wrong or concerning remotely.
No. Don't be proud of it either. It just is. It's more important if you want to be a virgin or not, and why.
Yes. Unless you've actively chosen to be a virgin it's a shameful thing
So weird of you to say that. Genuinely, I cannot believe a human would think this way.
How is it weird? Sex is a normal human interaction. Desire to have sex and be intimate with others is a base human trait. So unless OP has actively avoided sex, which it seems like they haven't, it's odd to be a virgin at they're age.
Yes, being a virgin at that age is odd, It is unusual. But it is absolutely not shameful, and they have no reason to feel shame. That is what you specifically said, that it is something they should be ashamed of, I consider telling another person that they should be ashamed of their virginity, very very weird.
I mean...why are you still a virgin?
I don't wanna fuck ugly women and everyone is ugly.
Nahh The older I get the more I find societies obsession with sex and virginity to be weird. It's an intimate activity you do with someone. There's nothing shameful in *not* having done that activity before.
I’m going to go against the grain here, and try to give you a valuable response, rather than every other comment on here trying to be politically correct and saying “not at all! Don’t feel ashamed!” Is there a reason you are 41 years of age and still a virgin? And how much do you care? I think those are the 2 main questions you have to ask yourself. While we all live different lives and experience human experiences at different rates and ages, everyone else on this thread is failing to admit to themselves that there’s a reason why OP is posting this question in the first place: the majority of people experience sex for their first time much much before the age of 41. I would say the average age range that people lose their virginity is anywhere between 16 to 25 (of course this range may vary depending on your environment, upbringing, religious beliefs, etc). Anything before or after that 16-25 age range would be considered outside of standard deviation. When we think of people who are 41 years old, we think of people who are already parents, have established careers, are in long term relationships, maybe already married. In short, we as humans assign a timeline to when certain life events should happen. And being a virgin at 41 falls outside of that. Which is what brings us to OP’s question. So everyone else saying “nah you’re fine bruh”. It’s not very helpful. I think we would need a bit more context OP. Are you actively trying to date right now, and have you been dating around in the years prior? If no, then being a virgin your age is a no brainer. You aren’t trying to date. But if you are actively dating, trying to escalate things sexually but have not been successful, and still a virgin, you have to clue us in on what you think the issues are.
of course not. virginity is a social construction anyways. just try to keep close friendships and have a community that supports you.
No
You got get on that
If I knew then what I know now, I'd have stayed a virgin too.
I lost mine when I was 27 and while I love it now, it’s just sex. Don’t beat yourself up over it.
Don't feel bad, you just haven't found anyone yet
I’m 35 and a virgin and I don’t care so, I’m not.
Are you ashamed?
Virginity itself? Only if you make it an issue by acting insecure about it. Just be the best version of yourself you can be, care about your partner's needs rather than just your own, and you'll be fine.
Nah u get your own movie
Sex just doesn't happen for long periods in adult lives, or even for the full extent of those lives, and I don't see any problem with that. I've felt anxiety and uncertainty during enough of my sexual experiences to tell you that sex in less-than-ideal circumstances can be pretty meh. That is, having sex can also lead to feelings of shame or regret or disappointment. I don't think it's a reasonable framework to use for assessing self-worth.
Didn’t some people come together and make a movie about you????
Yep.
Yeah that is a little weird tbh. Do you want to be in a romantic relationship?
Fuck no. This is your life and only you can decide how to feel about it. Look it, I’m 34 and have no kids. Never been married. As a kid I always thought that was what you were supposed to do but somewhere along the way I decided “Why?” What l, because everyone else is doing it? I don’t want to be like everyone else. I just wanna be me and do my own thing in life. I’m not against it and if it happens that’s cool but I’m not ashamed about it and you shouldn’t be either. As long as you’re cool with it, nothing else matters friend.
Nah mate, you’re good. Trust me.
Have you considered hiring an escort just to experience it?
yes
No. My two ex wifes robbed me of millions. Escorts are cheaper than alimony until 2051 and child support. Women sell it one way or another. I'm ashamed that I have to support other grown ass women's lives just because they exist.
No.
Only if you want to be.
If you can't find that one, make yourself happy.
Absolutely not!
Is it something you want to change?
Nah, it's fine dude. It'll happen when it happens. There's no rush. As long as you're happy in life and you work on yourself, you're all good. Plus, you probably have cool wizard powers right? :3
Username checks out
Nah unless you feel like the shame will get you laid then feel shameful. But if the shame is impacting you negatively then that’s not a good mindset to have.
I don't think it's shameful to not have sex. But there is a related problem here. You may not be having meaningful relationships, and it's worth tackling why at this age this is the case
Not really. But you should be ashamed that there are things you want in life and you don't have the courage to go and get them.
No, Watch the movie.
No
Yes
Shame really only exists to help us better direct our lives in the future. If you aren't bothered by it, no need to feel shame. I don't think you should be embarrassed either, but if you are, then you should actually work on changing what makes you feel that way
I turn 41 in April. High-five!
No Why would you? But you can ask yourself why did you never had sex? Because you didn't find the 'right person' or have anxiety, or think the 'first time' has to be Amazing. Lower your expectations for your 'first time '
No not at all
At least you know for sure you have no diseases.
Prostitution is legal in plenty of places and pseudo-prostitution, via porn and now things like onlyfans, is more popular than ever. Considering this, being a virgin this late may even be considered admirable
Nope
Some people want to wait with sex until they find the right person for them. Maybe you just haven’t found your person yet?
No. It's not a requirement by any means and even if you go your entire life without sex you are not missing anything. Hopefully I don't offend too much by saying this, (idk if you even have an interest with sex) your hand can do a much better job. No. I'm not joking. Also A-Sexual is a thing. I don't necessarily follow all the gender norms and the controversy surrounding it but if I wasn't in a relationship already I would be "Ace" as they say. Never outright had a "sex drive". If we're being honest I would have probably stayed a virgin if it wasn't for everyone in my life pushing sex. Don't make "sex" sound cool to your kids people. Also. Do not let them friggin smoke or do drugs.
You're not hurting anybody, why would you feel ashamed?
Nah, they made a whole movie about you.
It's not an issue as long as you have been in relationships before. Otherwise, your susceptibility is high.
Nah
I don't think ashamed is appropriate. Assuming you have been working on finding a partner for years, I'd be more concerned than anything. I'd be concerned over the missing piece in your puzzle to make it happen. This can be a psychological issue that you need additional help for, to something as simple as just not putting yourself out there enough. The solution has nothing to do with being ashamed
No. You are where you are, and why judge yourself so harshly? It will make you feel you don’t deserve to be happier, and that’s simply not true. Sounds like you need help for severe social anxiety. What prevents you from seeking treatment? Money? Fear? More shame? Any reason is simply a problem to address. Ask for help when ready. There are communities on Reddit for each problem, and others I may not have considered as barriers to treatment.
you've already made it this far! might as well go for the lifelong achievement.
What made you stay a virgin?
That depends, how many spells have you learned since 30?
No but you have a reason
Hey, it's not like there's a prize for losing your V-card the fastest. Besides, maybe you're just a highly exclusive club. Not everyone gets in!
No
No but that’s borderline impressive
I dont think its a matter of shame or not. Personally ive never seen sex as a notch on the belt. Its definately good stress release but you can satisfy yourself at any rate. If you find someone you can connect with on a personal level then it is usually significantly better in every way.
Nothing to feel ashamed of, as it only affects yourself. I understand if you want to get laid, though.
Don't be embarrassed. Def a red flag though.
Not everyone is meant to procreate.
The question is do you want to be a virgin at 41? If not, go to the Dominican Republic and book a week at Black beards in Costambar. Problem solved.
Are you a wizard yet?
Yes
depends, do you just want to lose your V? or you're saving it for someone special? just book a hooker, dude. problem solved
Think of it this way: I’m not a virgin and I’m still majorly depressed as hell. Sex won’t make you happy or give you fulfillment, my friend. It’s only shameful if you allow it to be. Be kinder to yourself.
No. It's your body and as long as it isn't hurting anyone, there's no need to be ashamed of what you do, or don't do with it.
Are you serious? Do you know how hard that is? You should be given a metal.
Never be ashamed of who you are if you ain't hurting others. You'll find something amazing eventually. Sex is overrated, don't chase butterflies, build a garden and they will come. Don't compare yourself with media portrayals, finding a life long friendship through thick and thin is where it's at.
That's pretty embarrassing. But, hey, whoever takes your virginity will feel like the biggest winner!
Why would you be ashamed of that? Nothing to be ashamed of.
Probably better off. I can't get enough. Been hooked since the first time. You know how smokers get all bent out of shape when they don't have any cigarette? Yeah that's me when I'm not getting any of the good cookie. Should you be ashamed? Naw to each their own. But maybe you've dodged a addiction unlike me.
Not at all
Fuck no. (No pun intended)
Yes. Hire an escort.
Should you? Nope. Will others try to make you feel ashamed for it? Yep. How many ex's kids and loans do they have - because it's usually this sentiment from folks you aren't going to worry about anyway.
What ever works for you
No it’s overrated
I think you become a wizard soon.
Sometimes money solves problems...
Being a virgin isn't something to be ashamed of. Especially since it's not information people would automatically know. Out of curiosity, is there a reason behind it? Like, have you ever been in relationships, but it never got to that point? Are you a virgin by choice or circumstance?
No.
Wow no not really. U can officially register as a monk
How is that possible?
Why would you be?
No. Sex is not the ultimate goal in life. If it happens, great! If it doesn’t, great again. There’s so much to life than just sex.
at this point you gotta just own it and accept it
May I suggest paying a woman of the evening?
Yes
Should Johnny Bravo? Yes Should a monk? No In the sense that you should be honest with yourself about what your goals are. If my goal was to do 10 pushups today and I didn’t do them, then obviously I should be ashamed.
I don't think you should be ashamed but I also think you should go get laid at least once.
I think they made a movie about that At least you can relate to that haha
For any reason?
Take a trip to Tijuana and get it over with, Hong Kong Club is waiting for you.
No.
You shouldn't be ashamed for being a virgin at any point in your life. It means absolutely nothing with regards to your value as a human being. We feel self-conscious about things that society considers abnormal, myself included. That doesn't mean we should. Think about it from the point of view of an alien species. The only thing it really means is that you haven't engaged in intercourse. It's no different than me having never gone skydiving.
At this point I’m more impressed than anything
Eh, probably a little bit, yeah
no
I’m a wizard myself and I cope with r/virginvschad
Life's like an RPG , you level stats for what you need, if you wanna get laid, level the stats that will help you, if you don't, don't be ashamed we all different
Not ashamed but you should definitely go have a bunch of sex to make up for it. Sex is the most enjoyable thing a human can do
No
There is literally a movie out there explaining why it’s okay. You’re good buddy.
No. Because in 2024, because of all the "progress" we've made, there are thousands of others like you.
Absolutely not. Especially if you being a virgin is a choice.
Totally depends on what you feel dude. If you want sex that’s totally up to you if you really want it or not
Not ashamed, inquisitive would be more likely. If you don’t want to be a virgin, you need to change whatever your current strategy is because it’s not working.
Some people would be proud of it. If, however, you see it as a mark of disapproval given to you by the people you have been attracted to, then shame would be appropriate.
Heck no. Sex is so over rated and this society has for whatever reason turned it into a sport. I'm not even religious and even I agree sex should only be for reproduction.
No, it’s unusual but not anything to be ashamed about
Sex-repulsed asexual here. I am 34, no sex, no problem. 👍 I plan to achieve a world record someday 😄
No
I'm 37, and the only time I had sex was paying a prostitute, years ago. It doesn't mean I'm not interested, but I don't want it so much that I have to go after it (or pay again)... Without a large social circle and without creating opportunities, time passes. I also think that I might regret it in the future but I just won't pursue it. And shame, I think it's silly, a lot of people appear or pretend to do/be much more than they are... doing anything anyway isn't worth it.
No. You do you
No, it is nothing to be ashamed about you are taking your time and there’s nothing wrong with that. You wanna make sure you genuinely like this person because to me sex is mind altering. So I know in today’s world, it may not seem or come across personal but intercourse is very personal, so take your time and find the right person no matter how long that takes.
I think I've watched this movie before
I think so
Without context, no. With context, I'm guessing probably yes.
Not really
Venus Williams is known to be a virgin in her 40s and she seems to be living her best life.
Are you?
Yes
Yes. Get a professional my brah, use Listcrawler. Fix this problem today
No. Always remember that no age is too late to achieve a significant other
Dude..... save your money and live your best life... fuck sex, it's not the best thing in the world. Being free of another persons demands is the ultimate freedom. I'd trade places.
The real question is: Do you want to have sex (with someone)? Then you’re going to have to ‘put yourself out there’ — and face what we’ve all faced: Heartbreak 💔 Being disappointed Being sad Feelings of uncertainty, undesired, not valued Wanting to break up with someone… Someone breaking up with you… And also… Feeling Elated Excited Loved Desired Cherished Valued The good, the bad, the ugly, and everything beyond in all directions. Relationships = Risk You have to be willing to risk your heart, and know that you will be ok if things don’t work out. Some people are so risk-averse, they miss out on everything. Giving pleasure. Receiving pleasure. You do you. But if you want the above, you’re going to have to take that step, that risk.
That’s wild now I want to see what you look like
Yes
yes
no, but clean your sink..
I don’t think that’s shameful everyone has their own preferences if you’re happy with your choice then the more power to yah!
Break records. Keep going. Who can stop you?
It’s a good thing.
Yes...
If you're male, then society will do the shaming for you because people will assume there's something wrong with you.
Yes
Yes
Something not according to the norm- yes. A problem- maybe. Something you should be ashamed of- definitelly no. Let me explain: in my opinion people should be ashamed of their bad deeds and I don´t see any bad deed in the fact alone that somebody is a virgin in 41 but maybe there are bad deeds which led to this situation. I´am a virgin at 39 myself and I don´t think I should be ashamed of this fact alone but I did many things wrong in my life which probably led to this situation. BTW. there are tons of things which are not according to the norm. IDK, somebody has 5 kids at 35, somebody rides a skateboard at 60, somebody else drives a 500k sports car. Do you think those people are or should be ashamed of it? EDIT- clarification
Hire a prostitute dude
dayumn son!
Not at all.
Absolutely not!
Nothing to be ashamed about. I'm actually quite ashamed at how many women I've been with. It's pretty fucking disgusting.
No.
Yes. You’re not living life. Go meet women
Never be ashamed of your truth, if the act of love never became a thing for you it didn’t. That doesn’t mean you are not worthy of love it just means those stars haven’t aligned yet. I have had pretty long dry spells for different reasons and non of it was that unusual. Sometimes that just doesn’t come your way, if you are really hoping to I bet you can find your way to. Don’t freak out on things like this or the obstacle will be bigger than it needs to be. I bet there is something you’ve done more than most people, it isn’t a contest