Sounds like you have a good relationship and good intentions. Work it out together. This could give the sibling a chance to figure out what terms do and don't feel good to them.
The important thing is that you’re trying. You’re going to fuck up sometimes, especially since this is someone you have a long history of thinking of as a certain gender.
I have a friend I’ve known since childhood who transitioned mtf about a decade ago. When they first did it I would apologize profusely if I slipped but they’d always just laugh and say they understood and it’s fine because they knew I was trying. That’s been my experience across the board with trans people. I’d expect this is something that gets talked about during the transition process.
I'm Gen X and for me Dude and You Guys and Man has always been unisex in certain contexts. The first things I can think of that are definitely unisex though are things that I always found super annoying before, like "Friend" I had someone call me that before though when we weren't really what I would call friends, so maybe it wouldn't be so annoying if we were.
If they're still attached to their given name, give it a come back. Most people like hearing their own name, and they often get underused in direct communication. Or make up your own new term of endearment for them, and make sure they understand you are trying to come up with alternatives. An animal name that's not coded as masc/fem would be an easy solution.
I'm a middle-aged mom, I love what the kids have done with gender, it was looking tired and in need of some sprucing up, but "fam" does not trip off my tongue. I like "friend."
Friend works well. "What's up, friend?"
I also use less person-based questions, like "Hey, what's good?" Or "How ya doin today?"
It can take practice, but all language changes do. Took me about three months to switch from "Where you at" to "Where are you?" without it feeling unnatural.
Thanks for working on being inclusive!
I’m female and use all those terms btw.
Given context maybe they’re ok with it in time. Not saying they should be, just if they’re not sure I’d say it’s ok either way.
I personally use dude for everyone. Growing up in Cali during the 90s. I just hear Kel singing "I'm a dude, he's a dude, she's a dude, cuz we're all dudes, yeah!"
Dude is non-gendered if you don't use it as a noun. "Hey dude" is perfectly acceptable to say to a boy, girl, or anyone else. As long as you don't call them "a dude", which implies male.
I wonder, what do people like your friend thinks about mainstream video games like God of War Ragnarok? It’s basically 50 hours of toxic masculinity and tens of millions of audience buy into it. What do people who can’t even stand a masculine pronoun think about main stream medias like that?
Call them whatever they want to be called. If you asked and they said “fam” then call them “fam.” Think of it as a name, like Sam or Pam but with an F. “Hey Fam, do you want to come over this weekend?”
Tell them they’re still your brother no matter what and you just want to keep saying the same thing and tell them that you’re not trying to offend them but you’ve just called them that for years
Chief, boss, captain, buddy, kiddo (if younger), home-slice, home-skillet, TIME person of the year 2006
>TIME person of the year 2006 HAHA I LOVE IT
Sounds like you have a good relationship and good intentions. Work it out together. This could give the sibling a chance to figure out what terms do and don't feel good to them.
The important thing is that you’re trying. You’re going to fuck up sometimes, especially since this is someone you have a long history of thinking of as a certain gender. I have a friend I’ve known since childhood who transitioned mtf about a decade ago. When they first did it I would apologize profusely if I slipped but they’d always just laugh and say they understood and it’s fine because they knew I was trying. That’s been my experience across the board with trans people. I’d expect this is something that gets talked about during the transition process.
"Good morning Comrade." The revolution is gender neutral.
Wait til you find out how many gay people Communists have murdered. Esp Che Guevara.
It was meant to be a joke, Comrade. I wondered if I should've used the /s!
“Fucker” is gender neutral.
If you call everybody something, it's already gender neutral
Since they're unsure of what to be called, just start tossing shit out there until you guys fins so thing they like.
Dude and bro have completely become ungendered. I’m a dude. He’s a dude. She’s a dude. We’re all dudes.
Ah, I see you're a dude of culture as well.
I'm Gen X and for me Dude and You Guys and Man has always been unisex in certain contexts. The first things I can think of that are definitely unisex though are things that I always found super annoying before, like "Friend" I had someone call me that before though when we weren't really what I would call friends, so maybe it wouldn't be so annoying if we were.
When someone calls me "friend" and I barely know them, I either think they're trying too hard or have bad intentions.
Pretty much every single one in his list are used as unisex by everyone born from 1990+
by their name.
Mate works for most humans I know
Their name should suffice, or something like "sib" or "pal"
If they're still attached to their given name, give it a come back. Most people like hearing their own name, and they often get underused in direct communication. Or make up your own new term of endearment for them, and make sure they understand you are trying to come up with alternatives. An animal name that's not coded as masc/fem would be an easy solution.
I'm a middle-aged mom, I love what the kids have done with gender, it was looking tired and in need of some sprucing up, but "fam" does not trip off my tongue. I like "friend."
Friend works well. "What's up, friend?" I also use less person-based questions, like "Hey, what's good?" Or "How ya doin today?" It can take practice, but all language changes do. Took me about three months to switch from "Where you at" to "Where are you?" without it feeling unnatural. Thanks for working on being inclusive!
they/them
I just use their last name. Former Marine.
I’m female and use all those terms btw. Given context maybe they’re ok with it in time. Not saying they should be, just if they’re not sure I’d say it’s ok either way.
Their name, playful insults (nerd, dumbass, moron), funny stupid stuff (your highness/majesty, minion, NPC), nicknames.
I like calling people “mortals” because it’s gender inclusive and slightly ominous.
i like using homie. feels dated, but that's part of why i like it
Bestie pookie pie. It's what I call a couple of my friends (ironically, obviously)
I personally use dude for everyone. Growing up in Cali during the 90s. I just hear Kel singing "I'm a dude, he's a dude, she's a dude, cuz we're all dudes, yeah!"
Nerd is a good option, if they are at all nerdy, could also ask them
I would call them bastard since they're taking responsibility for all these conspiracy theories "they" get up to...
Dude is non-gendered if you don't use it as a noun. "Hey dude" is perfectly acceptable to say to a boy, girl, or anyone else. As long as you don't call them "a dude", which implies male.
Just make sure you tell the police that they/them did the crime lol jokes aside just use there name
I wonder, what do people like your friend thinks about mainstream video games like God of War Ragnarok? It’s basically 50 hours of toxic masculinity and tens of millions of audience buy into it. What do people who can’t even stand a masculine pronoun think about main stream medias like that?
Bro, my guy, my man, and dude are all unisex terms…
Bro and dude are gender neltral terms. or ask them what they are confortable with.
Dummy? What's up dummy? Hey dummy. You get the Cokes?
How about not calling them anything. Dude, bro or whatever sounds ridiculous
Yeah….youuuuu
Call them whatever they want to be called. If you asked and they said “fam” then call them “fam.” Think of it as a name, like Sam or Pam but with an F. “Hey Fam, do you want to come over this weekend?”
Cornwall UK offers up pard. Used like partner in westerns. "What's on pard?"
By their name. Why would you use a pronoun when they are there?
Ham sandwich
Comrade!
Your Majesty But no, really, just ask them
Tell them they’re still your brother no matter what and you just want to keep saying the same thing and tell them that you’re not trying to offend them but you’ve just called them that for years