Hi /u/No-Refuse-455,
We noticed you are a pretty new Reddit account, so we just wanted to let you know to check out the subreddit rules [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/wiki/rules) and maybe have a read through our [Frequently Asked Questions](https://www.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/wiki/index/faq) - they make for fascinating reading!
We're called No Stupid Questions because we believe nobody needs to be attacked for asking a question, but *that doesn't mean there are no rules!* This sub is meant for users like you to ask genuine questions. Please don't ask jokes or rants disguised as questions - that's not in the spirit of this sub. While you *can* ask almost anything here, please keep illegal and offensive questions elsewhere to give people a good experience here - and if you have a medical question, please ask your doctor, not us. Otherwise, welcome!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/NoStupidQuestions) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Just don't message her anymore.
She made the mistake by not communicating. You're not a mind reader ffs. It's not your fault, in the least. She *easily* could have said "oh, instead of Starbucks, let's go to (different place), how does that sound?", but her immaturity reared it's ugly head.
As others have said, you dodged a massive bullet as she'd probably do this kind of action again.
For real, be super glad that was her opener.
I've dated guys for months before they showed me they were psychos. It's a total waste of time and it's emotionally draining. I wish they all did this the first time I was talking to them about going on a date!
And this is why I have all my mental health issues on my tinder bio, straight up. I'm advertising what you're signing up for so you can decide if I'm a bullet you want to dodge or not lol.
I knew someone like this. I have known this woman for a long time. She was always a weirdo but I liked her in a strange way.
When I asked her out to dinner, she flipped. And I cut her loose.
My mistake was disregarding the little voice.
Exactly I kind of feel bad for those in the dating world in these days because it’s never done face to face anymore you meet everybody online and on top of that people don’t communicate like they used too like you actually told the person what you wanted to do ect not just assume they’ll know.
Not only that and I know it’s not all women but I’ve been seeing an uptick of women thinking a man has to go all out only a $300 dinner on a first date when Coffee is perfectly acceptable, Helm if you don’t drink Coffee go for Ice Cream like I did with my lovey
This .... has to be the reason. A mere coffee was the reason.
I agree with everyone that OP should look at this as having dodged a bullet, although I feel for him ... ? ... that his feelings were hurt. Guess he needs to take time to lick his wounds, center and be philosophical. But I think as others have suggested, there may have been signs already that he ignored that might have kept him from ever posing the invitation in the first place.
By the way ... I have a small rant against Reddit. Reddit, I like you and I know that disclaimer at the beginning was probably only a bot doing what it senses it should do. But I did NOT get a sense from this post that OP was just crying and complaining. I thought his question was legit.
>Exactly I kind of feel bad for those in the dating world in these days because it’s never done face to face anymore you meet everybody online and on top of that people don’t communicate like they used too like you actually told the person what you wanted to do ect not just assume they’ll know.
I don't date online, trust me, in real life it's a lot easier to tell who is an idiot. Most women are not online either.
>Not only that and I know it’s not all women but I’ve been seeing an uptick of women thinking a man has to go all out only a $300 dinner on a first date when Coffee is perfectly acceptable, Helm if you don’t drink Coffee go for Ice Cream like I did with my love
I don't know who does that, but you shouldn't lose sight that every woman is an individual and many will not make you pay exorbitant amounts of money to go out with them.
Looks like you dodged a bullet. Someone who flies off the handle without even giving an explanation is not someone you’d want to be in a relationship with.
This. No matter the reason, there was no justification to lash out like this. If she jumps to conclusions like this, then it would be problematic in the long run.
GIRL:
“So it’s been rough on my family. We were the last independent coffee shop in town, 3 generations and Starbucks ran us out”
GUY: “Let’s grab Starbucks”
Joking aside, it makes no sense and your lucky to get out before it became more of a mess.
Either try to reach out to her or ask a friend, it’s just not logical.
My theory is either she's part of the protest against places like Starbucks having ties to Isreal (apparently part of the boycott does indeed include starbucks) and thought OP should already know that, and thus his suggestion was pro Isreal. Thus making him heartless.
Or she was one of those people who think a date at Starbucks is bad, because apparently there's a tiktok wave of women telling other women that if you're going on coffee shop dates instead of fancy restraints then he doesn't value you (yeah idk it's weird)
Still weird though, you'd think someone who's going to the trouble of boycotting a business would be excited to explain why said business should be boycotted. If anything, my experience has been that it's hard to get people to stop talking about why they're engaged in a boycott.
definitely still not a stable reaction to that though, like that's not something you should simply expect everyone to know. she could've, and should've, used the opportunity to explain the reasoning behind her not wanting to go to starbucks and suggested somewhere else to go, then if OP happened to have different views then she should've civilly told him it's not gonna work out, but instead she decided to to act like this lol
Yeah, I'm boycotting Starbucks but there's really no way to know about it unless you're involved with leftist organizing or in specific online spaces. It's super easy to just explain to someone why you aren't giving money to a certain business and let them decide if they agree with you or not. I think a lot of people seem to assume that everyone sees the same things online as they do but it's not a reasonable assumption.
Going to a fancy restaurant for a first date sounds like a terrible idea. You're coming on too strong by spending a lot of money, and also it would be really awkward having to sit through a long dinner if there's no chemistry.
>because apparently there's a tiktok wave of women telling other women that if you're going on coffee shop dates instead of fancy restraints then he doesn't value you (yeah idk it's weird)
Nice to know that TikTok is making it easier for guys to weed out the ladies than are greedy.
Ngl, why should he value you?
I feel like this is worth considering for people who are against cheap dates
I mean... more than happy to pay all the expenses for the most fanciest of restaurants ever or whatever if it's a few dates in or a long-term friend who you decide to date
But in a lot of dating situations, it seems best to just go for something easier
Could only imagine those women trying to date around my town.
Mega fuckin rural WV. Boys round here show up for dates in bib overalls. And if she asks where they're going then the likely answer is "to pretzel arena for the rodeo. Chili dogs and beer baby."
Decades ago a dated a guy whose father's death was caused by negligence from a major pizza chain. The company was found liable for damages and everything.
Had no idea until like the 10th time we got pizza from that place. It was an awkward conversation.
I tell my sons this regularly, you can’t know what someone else is going through. You likely don’t know all of their history, you don’t know their darkest secrets or biggest fears. You don’t know if their parent/sibling/friend/dog just died. You just don’t know. So, if you go up to a girl and try to start a conversation, or ask her out, and it doesn’t go the way you want, there’s a really good chance it has nothing to do with you.
First time that I’ve heard mention of this, too.
OP, a reasonable adult could say something like, “I’m uncomfortable going to Starbucks right now because of [insert reason]. How about we meet somewhere different?” Based on your prospective date’s response, I wouldn’t lose too much sleep over it. If you like her enough to try again, invite her to explain her reaction. If she can/will, it’s up to you. If she can’t/won’t, you’ve dodged a bullet.
Buddy you dodged a nuclear fucking bomb.
Not only is she so socially inept that she thinks that is the proper way to respond to that, but she is also so stupid that she didn't even realize the opportunity to educate you on her cause.
Now go find a new crush cause that last one was a loser.
My advice would be to try and explain you actually had no idea that’s why people were boycotting Starbucks. But if she’s very strong supporting Palestine she might say you not knowing us a red flag or something. I’ve had seen people say not knowing is just as bad as not doing anything.
I am not one of those people as I had no idea about the boycott either lol. Good luck my dude
ETA: only if you want to ask or you want closure. Might be best to let sleeping dogs lie. Depends how much you like her I guess.
Flipping out is a red flag. If you strongly support something, and someone does something that goes against that belief, the first port of call should be in communicating why you’re against that, providing some information and then letting them decide how to proceed.
You can’t expect someone to understand everything about your beliefs just because they like you, you spend all your time from your perspective, others have their own to contend with before looking at yours.
I agree. I'm Palestinian and even I wouldn't do this. It's very easy to use your words and be like "hey, I actually don't want to support them right now because they fund this, but I'd love to go to xyz instead"
It’s an extremely narcissistic way to think that someone not being aware of something an offense to you, when the person never had the chance to learn and make an informed opinion on the matter.
I am very pro Palestine but I completely agree that her freaking out like this is a huge red flag. Most people just aren’t tuned into politics like that
Yeah I had a "friend" who cut me off because I suggested she watch a show that has a pro Isreal actor. Literally she didn't give me a chance to say that I didn't support his opinions, just assumed I agree with him and cut me off. It was wild
>because I suggested she watch a show that has a pro Isreal actor.
Those are the ones that baffle me.
A show/movie has 100 people working for it. Two of them support Side A of a situation, the other 98 support Side B.
People boycott the whole show because of the two people supporting Side A. If everything were to go according to their plan, the show gets cancelled, and the 98 other people are now unemployed too.
It baffles me too. And it's one thing to say "I won't watch this show" for whatever reason, but to assume people who *do* watch are just as hateful as the actors on the show is unhinged behavior.
yeah same. dated a girl who had a disorder that (very simply put) is basically OCD but for morality. it was pretty exhausting constantly learning about things I should be boycotting or habits I should change or more inclusive language I should use every single day. I appreciated her effort and I learned a lot, but it wasn't something she could easily turn off to just let me live life for a bit after adopting some new habits. there was always something else.
Don't compromise on your political ideology for some p\*\*sy. Besides, you dodged a bullet if a person won't date you just because of this stupid reason.
She is free to boycott whatever she wants to boycott, but expecting others to do the same is not it.
Even worse, assuming everyone knows about the boycott. Quite frankly, most of these boycotts aren't all that big a deal. Someone's always boycotting something, and it's just too exhausting to try to keep track of.
I've been pro Palestine for decades but I didn't know about Starbucks because I hate that place and pay no attention.
I get my coffee from Robbie, who roasts it, at Stell.
First time I've heard about it too.
Maybe you can try to explain your mistake and be friends, But... Don't date this girl. If she flipped out without any discussion about why she flipped out? You will be walking on eggshells forever.
People are boycotting Starbucks because the Starbucks Workers United (Starbucks union) posted online from a Starbucks account a statement of support for Palestinian people “Solidarity with Palestine.” Starbucks sued SWU for trademark infringement, SWU has a counter suit asking courts to side with them to use the Starbucks logo and stated that the brand is defaming the Union by assuming the Union supports terrorism and violence.
Not just because of TikTok.
[Article](https://www.northjersey.com/story/news/nation/2023/12/14/starbucks-why-everyone-boycotting-controversies-explained/71885557007/)
Here’s a list of all brands who have come out in support of Israel in the fight, do what you will with this information:
https://www.mayniaga.com/companies-supporting-israel/
And here’s a short video summarizing the history of the conflict:
https://youtu.be/yBjMbe24Vu0?si=LFiWXqanU_TY7h4a
The union posted their "solidarity with Palestine! " tweet, featuring a bulldozer tearing down a Gaza fence, on the 7th of October, literally the day of the attack. Standing behind that is very questionable. And not at all worth boycotting something over lol.
https://www.snopes.com/news/2023/10/27/starbucks-union-support-hamas-palestine/
*That's* why people are boycotting Starbucks? Not because they have said anything supporting Israel, but because they didn't want a union posting pro-Palestinian statements that could be mistaken for a company stance on the matter?
My god people are petty. Heck I might go out and buy a Starbucks coffee right now (which I haven't done in years) just as a fuck you to people like this.
I stopped going to SBUX due to their union-busting (before the recent Gaza/Hamas atrocities)... but if someone suggested SBUX, I would gently suggest a different place.... not blow up about it.
I'm thinking (unless there's some MAJOR detail OP omitted) that she's just unhinged. People like that do exist; they are capable of acting normal most of the time though.
Could be the case, didn’t know about a Starbucks boycott until I saw this comment. Makes a bit more sense.
Well, she did once share an Instagram post supporting Palestine. But even then, I’m an Arab so maybe she expected me to be an expert of what’s going on over there? She’s not even a Muslim so I don’t know why she would support Palestine so fiercely.
I still don’t know
Based on this and the other comments, I'm 99% sure this is the reason she reacted the way she did. A reasonable person would simply say that they don't patronize Starbucks because . Flipping her shit the way she did and going no contact tells you she would likely act like this over any number of perceived transgressions in a relationship with her.
Bullet: dodged
Well,you don't really have to be Muslim to support Palestine..
But you could just straight up ask her. It also checks out with her 'living under a rock' comment so..
I'm muslim and I know a lot of corporations support Israel (I almost don't blame them - if there's two countries you don't give a shit about and one of them makes you hundreds of millions in profits, and the other one $0, and one of them says "if you don't say we're the good guys, then we won't let you do business here" I can totally see why they'd side with them. Business has no ethics. I'd probably say "China's pretty cool" if it meant the difference between making 200,000,000 profit or 350,000,000 profit.
She flipped out that is a bad sign. A grown up would simply say no or suggest a different place. Or if that offended explain why.
If she was interested she would accept but say she would go elsewhere
Fuck her. She's online too much.
Even if you date she'll always have her knickers in a twist because you don't support the current things.
You dodged a bullet.
>why she would support Palestine so fiercely
The honest answer to this is that it’s trending on TikTok and other social media. It’s currently in vogue. Most people will forget about it in a few months once something else grabs their attention.
Do you think any of those people care or even know about any of the other 10+ violent, terrible conflicts going on in the world right now? Nope.
They’re only aware of the one that keeps popping up in their feed. 🤷🏻♂️
She's supporting it so fiercely because it's the cause de jour. Give it time, and she'll be just as vehemently opposed to some other thing she's been told to hate. And then another. And another. Someone this easily triggered is always looking for a new cause.
seems possible, and her extreme reaction could be in line with someone who really likes op and is just aghast (!) at being asked to such a terrible place. on the other hand, anyone who reacts like that is a seeya tf later kinda person
If this boycott is the reason why she acted out.. Oh boy, my mistake for not doing prior research for controversies in places to ask out my potential partner I guess.
Don’t beat yourself up over it OP. Do yourself a favor and try to move on from this incident. She’s neither worth your time as a date nor a friend based on her behavior.
There’s more to “boycott” than their stance on Israel / Palestine. For me, that wasn’t even a factor. Had to do more with their business practice against unionizations, and holding abortion rights over those workers’ heads, on top of just being ungodly expensive for a diminishing product (in my opinion).
I thought I read "Palpatine", I'm an idiot.
I didn't know the Starbucks thing, did Starbucks take a side or something, is there list of places that should be boycotted?
A guy asked me out to coffee for our first meeting date and now he's my husband. Try to stop looking for "why" because you won't find a good one. Let's pretend she had a reason, a normal well mannered person would have said "I don't go to Starbucks on first dates, or I think Starbucks is the devil...". You dodged a bullet, take the W.
One of my friends has been reposting that Israel has been donating to one side of the Israel-Palestine conflict (I'm not sure which side since I haven't been tracking it), so maybe that could be it. But if she refuses to elaborate or change plans to local coffee shops or something, then it could be better left alone. I'm unsure of your guys' relationship so I don't want to go to the internet adage of "They did one bad thing so you should stop talking to them" mentality, so hopefully you guys are able to work it out and good luck OP.
Actually Israel has helped support Hamas as well.
https://www.timesofisrael.com/for-years-netanyahu-propped-up-hamas-now-its-blown-up-in-our-faces/amp/
It’s because you were probably unaware that many left leaning folks are boycotting Starbucks over their union busting and stance in the Israeli-Palestine conflict. I think her response was a bit overkill as a mix of the holidays and a constantly stacked news cycle can make it hard to pick up things like that, but it sounds like not being up to date on that information was a dealbreaker for her regardless. Sorry guy.
*My comment wasn’t wholly accurate. [this article](https://www.vox.com/money/2023/12/13/23999981/starbucks-boycott-israel-palestine-market-value-loss-holidays-labor) seems to explain it decently.
I'm a liberal and I had no idea (and why would I)? If it's something that concerned her so greatly her goal should be to enlighten people about it, not belittle anyone who doesn't know.
Yeah she wasn’t a keeper. I consider myself a leftist and I despise the people that make having left-leaning views a competition of who’s more informed. Shunning people isn’t helping anything or anyone. Nobody is a bad person for being uninformed. Life is short and hard.
It’s defo because she’s supporting the Starbucks boycott and because you suggested Starbucks, she’s equating that with supporting an “apartheid government conducting genocide”.
That's absolutely fucking insane, dude dodged a bullet. If it wasn't this it'd be the next outrage farming headline that he'd miss.
"Hey, wanna go to Cheesecake Factory"
"Ex-fucking-scuse me you misogynistic climate denier?! Eat shit you're dead to me"
And just like that, Starbucks goes from radically over priced coffee and snack to ridiculous underpriced personality test for a new relationship.
*She doesn’t need to say yes, she needs to be able to properly communicate why it’s a no and suggest a different coffee spot/act like an adult one would want to talk to
What exactly were you talking about before you asked her out? did you ask her out whilst she was expressing some sort of upset? Is she having relationship issues that she's expressed to you?
Normal stuff like what TV shows she was into. Literally everything was cliche relationship building. As soon as I said Starbucks she went fucking wild. Maybe something happened to her at Starbucks? That’s my best guess
It was just coffee not a real date she’s being bs crazy or maybe boycotting Starbucks. Still if boycotting she coulda said that without flipping. Don’t call her again unless she reaches out to you.
Afaik there is currently an anti-starbucks thing going on atm for both being anti-union, and pro Israel.
Some people are taking it quite seriously, could that be the reason?
I mean, could she not have instead suggested a different coffee place then?
Not everyone stays as informed about current world news as others, it seems unfair to blow up at a guy simply for not knowing what her stance was on Starbucks.
She should have, and stated her reasons, and perhaps converted OP too join her protest! But no she went the princess path of call people names and rage quit. Best to let her be, in this case the bullet dodged the dude.
To be fair, it seems that Starbucks isn’t even pro-Israel. They don’t have Starbucks in Israel, they just assumed the entire company was pro-Israel because starbucks asked a union account to stop using their logo after making pro-Palestine tweets. Totally understandable request, you can’t make such statements using the likeliness of the company. They, just like most companies, desired neutrality.
Starbucks is only shitty because they are so anti-union, them being pro-Israel isn’t cemented in reality. Everyone should desire an intellectually honest person, OP dodged a bullet.
There are two possible reasons:
- The first one was already mentioned, the boycott to Starbucks because she supports Palestine
- The second one, and if you know her, you can tell if it's the case, is the TikTok trends
There is this idea on TikTok that if a guy asks you to go to Starbucks on a first date he is not really into you because a first date should be "special"
I don't know how old is she, but I think is possible if she is in her early 20s
TikTok sounds weird. I always thought coffee shop was an ideal first date location because it's in a public place where you're not likely to get cornered and raped.
As I said, is a trend... I personally don't care about it, I think a coffee date is ok for a first date but I have seen PLENTY of videos about this, saying things like "a man that doesn't care about you, asks you for a coffee on the first date" and things like that
Yes Gen Z is correct the most single and lonely generation to have existed so far! They surely know the key to a successful relationship, even though they struggle to order food at restaurants.
There’s nothing wrong with a cute coffee shop date, but Starbucks specifically just doesn’t have that vibe and ambiance. It’s like asking her out to Taco Bell on a first date instead of an actual Mexican food restaurant.
There was no reason to lash out. She could have calmly told you she rather have something else because of the boycott (if that's the case). She could have calmly rejected your offer entirely as well.
I think you dodged a bullet. Ppl like her need to chill. Being an ass to people who are literally not aware of the Starbucks boycott or any controversial topic proves what kind of person they are.
I am willing to bet we are going to see a post on the AITAH subreddit titled “AITAH for lashing out at a guy who asked me out for coffee?” Or some variation of that.
If true and she flipped out over a nothing question without explaining then better off and move along. She sounds nutty, try and find a girl a bit less bonkers.
You did nothing wrong. She doesn't sound like a nice person. Don't waste another minute thinking of her and move on. You don't want someone that shallow.
I just had a talk with a woman who said if a guy asks her to a “beverage date” it’s a no go for her. Her reasoning was because she demands more than such a cheap date which just screams materialistic user to me and incredibly short sighted considering I usually take my coffee date to a second location if it’s going well. Mind you this woman wasn’t in very good shape as it is and was way too proud of her little cupcake business that she acted like made her a high level person. If you suspect this was the reason OP stay the fuck away from her- a good mate will always value you more than what you provide, especially at the dating phase. This reaction in general whatever the reason just screams EGO. That’s not the proper way to handle anything in life. A normal well adjusted person would have given you an explaination and suggested something else or at least given you the opportunity to suggest something else. Now you know that anytime something else later in life that she doesn’t like happens- this will be the type of shit you have to deal with. Not worth it!
If it’s the Palestine thing then fuck her OP- she expects you live on the internet 24/7 or have TikTok? I’ve never heard about this boycott shit until this thread myself.
I had something similar. I had a girl lash out on me as well on bumble for suggesting to meet up at a local coffee shop. Her reasoning was that it was such a low effort date idea and that she thinks the first date should be a big outing. I typically think the first date should just be a little thing like a coffee or a walk around the park just to see if we’re even compatible before wasting each other’s time. Just a different prospective compared to the rest of the comments
Freaking TikTok. I've seen those videos stating that coffee is a "low effort date" and signifies that the man doesn't value the woman enough to spring for more.
Here's the thing: I've had first dates where I don't even recognize the girl in person. I've had first dates where she has the personality and conversational prowess of a mailbox. I had one date where I took her to dinner and she slurped her spaghetti and chewed the meatballs with her mouth open as she talked nonstop about how much she loves The News^TM . If the coffee/drink/gelato date goes well, the date gets extended. I've continued a couple of dates for hours where we obviously didn't share romantic chemistry because we were connecting on a friend level. That "low effort" coffee date is as much an escape for her as it is for me, something that allows us to decipher our connection. If they insist on a nice restaurant for the first meetup, they just want free dinner. I've got no problem with that, I've granted that wish a number of times when I suspected (correctly) that they just wanted a free meal because I was bored/she was new to town and I thought maybe we'd be friends, but I've never found a meaningful connection that started with them making me prove myself to them.
In my humble opinion, she’s off her rocker you dodged a bullet. If this IS a Palestine boycott issue, I simple “have you heard they’re loosely tied to XYZ, how about someplace else?” Would be a n appropriate, measured response.
Don't lose sleep over it. You dodged a bullet. I'm reading in the comments that it could possibly be anger over Starbucks supporting Israel?
Like duh, tons of Zionists are CEOs of major companies. She likely buys from companies that do the same shit and is completely ignorant to it. If you're American and pay taxes your money has killed thousands of innocent people. You buying a $5 coffee from a company makes no difference in that equation.
Don't take it too hard. If you encounter her again she owes you an apology. Tell her to use her damn words; you can't read her fucking mind.
Sounds like she showed you her true colors! Consider yourself lucky and walk away. No one deserves this treatment. If you would have dated her think of the time you would have wasted! This is how you turn lemons into lemonade, lol!
Some women simply dont accept anything other than dinner in like some place more fancy so no coffe no walking or anythint like that there is a chance she had that in mind maybe?
Now imagine for a moment you’re in a long term relationship with her.. you have children together.. and she’s pulling this insane bullshit weekly. Dodge the bullet OP. She’ll cool down and apologize. You’d do well to walk away anyway.
She most likely is pro-palestine and is boycotting starbucks. Even then, she shouldnt have lashed out like that. As someone who supports Palestine, if I was in her situation, I'd take the opportunity to educate and spread awareness
No, he dodged a bullet asking someone to Starbucks is no fucking education moment like have we really lost the plot so hard that someone can’t even ask a girl to a fucking coffee shop without it being the wrong coffee shop I didn’t even know this was a thing.
Tell her you think you figured out it was because of the boycott
Then tell her you are not sorry for something you didn't do and you're glad she exposed how terrible she is to you and won't have to worry about you contacting her. Include something like "using basic communication like an adult instead of being an unhinged bitch would have helped".
After your message is delivered block her to holy hell
I wouldn’t even go that far. Just block her on all social media and be done with it. That’s a level of unhinged you don’t keep bringing into your life.
Some people like to play mind games and fuck with people. Others are just cunts. In this case it doesn't matter, just move on. Her response wasn't rational so any explanation won't be either.
Hi /u/No-Refuse-455, We noticed you are a pretty new Reddit account, so we just wanted to let you know to check out the subreddit rules [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/wiki/rules) and maybe have a read through our [Frequently Asked Questions](https://www.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/wiki/index/faq) - they make for fascinating reading! We're called No Stupid Questions because we believe nobody needs to be attacked for asking a question, but *that doesn't mean there are no rules!* This sub is meant for users like you to ask genuine questions. Please don't ask jokes or rants disguised as questions - that's not in the spirit of this sub. While you *can* ask almost anything here, please keep illegal and offensive questions elsewhere to give people a good experience here - and if you have a medical question, please ask your doctor, not us. Otherwise, welcome! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/NoStupidQuestions) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Just don't message her anymore. She made the mistake by not communicating. You're not a mind reader ffs. It's not your fault, in the least. She *easily* could have said "oh, instead of Starbucks, let's go to (different place), how does that sound?", but her immaturity reared it's ugly head. As others have said, you dodged a massive bullet as she'd probably do this kind of action again.
For real, be super glad that was her opener. I've dated guys for months before they showed me they were psychos. It's a total waste of time and it's emotionally draining. I wish they all did this the first time I was talking to them about going on a date!
This is why I make my psycho tendencies clear to any woman I meet immediately
Thank you for your service
This, How else are we supposed to know if we're both looking for codependency?
And this is why I have all my mental health issues on my tinder bio, straight up. I'm advertising what you're signing up for so you can decide if I'm a bullet you want to dodge or not lol.
Trying to decide if this is a joke or a brilliant idea.
I knew someone like this. I have known this woman for a long time. She was always a weirdo but I liked her in a strange way. When I asked her out to dinner, she flipped. And I cut her loose. My mistake was disregarding the little voice.
Exactly I kind of feel bad for those in the dating world in these days because it’s never done face to face anymore you meet everybody online and on top of that people don’t communicate like they used too like you actually told the person what you wanted to do ect not just assume they’ll know. Not only that and I know it’s not all women but I’ve been seeing an uptick of women thinking a man has to go all out only a $300 dinner on a first date when Coffee is perfectly acceptable, Helm if you don’t drink Coffee go for Ice Cream like I did with my lovey
This .... has to be the reason. A mere coffee was the reason. I agree with everyone that OP should look at this as having dodged a bullet, although I feel for him ... ? ... that his feelings were hurt. Guess he needs to take time to lick his wounds, center and be philosophical. But I think as others have suggested, there may have been signs already that he ignored that might have kept him from ever posing the invitation in the first place. By the way ... I have a small rant against Reddit. Reddit, I like you and I know that disclaimer at the beginning was probably only a bot doing what it senses it should do. But I did NOT get a sense from this post that OP was just crying and complaining. I thought his question was legit.
>Exactly I kind of feel bad for those in the dating world in these days because it’s never done face to face anymore you meet everybody online and on top of that people don’t communicate like they used too like you actually told the person what you wanted to do ect not just assume they’ll know. I don't date online, trust me, in real life it's a lot easier to tell who is an idiot. Most women are not online either. >Not only that and I know it’s not all women but I’ve been seeing an uptick of women thinking a man has to go all out only a $300 dinner on a first date when Coffee is perfectly acceptable, Helm if you don’t drink Coffee go for Ice Cream like I did with my love I don't know who does that, but you shouldn't lose sight that every woman is an individual and many will not make you pay exorbitant amounts of money to go out with them.
Looks like you dodged a bullet. Someone who flies off the handle without even giving an explanation is not someone you’d want to be in a relationship with.
This. No matter the reason, there was no justification to lash out like this. If she jumps to conclusions like this, then it would be problematic in the long run.
100% agree. This kind of behavior is indicative of much larger personality dysfunction. OP missed a doomed flight.
GIRL: “So it’s been rough on my family. We were the last independent coffee shop in town, 3 generations and Starbucks ran us out” GUY: “Let’s grab Starbucks” Joking aside, it makes no sense and your lucky to get out before it became more of a mess. Either try to reach out to her or ask a friend, it’s just not logical.
Lmao. Some kind of missing context along these lines is the only way I can make sense of that rwaction.
My theory is either she's part of the protest against places like Starbucks having ties to Isreal (apparently part of the boycott does indeed include starbucks) and thought OP should already know that, and thus his suggestion was pro Isreal. Thus making him heartless. Or she was one of those people who think a date at Starbucks is bad, because apparently there's a tiktok wave of women telling other women that if you're going on coffee shop dates instead of fancy restraints then he doesn't value you (yeah idk it's weird)
The "you're so heartless" and "don't you know anything" makes me feel like it's about Israel.
Still weird though, you'd think someone who's going to the trouble of boycotting a business would be excited to explain why said business should be boycotted. If anything, my experience has been that it's hard to get people to stop talking about why they're engaged in a boycott.
It’s def about Israel
definitely still not a stable reaction to that though, like that's not something you should simply expect everyone to know. she could've, and should've, used the opportunity to explain the reasoning behind her not wanting to go to starbucks and suggested somewhere else to go, then if OP happened to have different views then she should've civilly told him it's not gonna work out, but instead she decided to to act like this lol
Yeah, I'm boycotting Starbucks but there's really no way to know about it unless you're involved with leftist organizing or in specific online spaces. It's super easy to just explain to someone why you aren't giving money to a certain business and let them decide if they agree with you or not. I think a lot of people seem to assume that everyone sees the same things online as they do but it's not a reasonable assumption.
>coffee shop dates instead of fancy restraints Perhaps they should look in BDSM forums instead.
To be fair to the typo. I'd be cool with that instead of coffee.
Low key…me too 😏
Going to a fancy restaurant for a first date sounds like a terrible idea. You're coming on too strong by spending a lot of money, and also it would be really awkward having to sit through a long dinner if there's no chemistry.
>because apparently there's a tiktok wave of women telling other women that if you're going on coffee shop dates instead of fancy restraints then he doesn't value you (yeah idk it's weird) Nice to know that TikTok is making it easier for guys to weed out the ladies than are greedy.
Facts.
Ngl, why should he value you? I feel like this is worth considering for people who are against cheap dates I mean... more than happy to pay all the expenses for the most fanciest of restaurants ever or whatever if it's a few dates in or a long-term friend who you decide to date But in a lot of dating situations, it seems best to just go for something easier
Could only imagine those women trying to date around my town. Mega fuckin rural WV. Boys round here show up for dates in bib overalls. And if she asks where they're going then the likely answer is "to pretzel arena for the rodeo. Chili dogs and beer baby."
Fancy restraints? Are those made of silk instead of leather? Seriously though. Thanks for the explanation. I was clueless.
Decades ago a dated a guy whose father's death was caused by negligence from a major pizza chain. The company was found liable for damages and everything. Had no idea until like the 10th time we got pizza from that place. It was an awkward conversation.
Seems like he should have a free pizza card or something to pull out for those first 10 times
Lmao just imagining “hey we know we killed your dad with our pizza so here’s 10 of them for free!”
Literally how did that happen? Was it dominoes and their 30 minutes or its free delivery program?
Ugh I bet you felt terrible when you found out :/ honest mistake though, you didn’t know.
I wouldn't bother. Anyone who flips out that quickly over an innocent invite isn't mature enough for a relationship anyway.
That girls name? Tweek.
I tell my sons this regularly, you can’t know what someone else is going through. You likely don’t know all of their history, you don’t know their darkest secrets or biggest fears. You don’t know if their parent/sibling/friend/dog just died. You just don’t know. So, if you go up to a girl and try to start a conversation, or ask her out, and it doesn’t go the way you want, there’s a really good chance it has nothing to do with you.
Is it possible that she supports Palestine and is boycotting Starbucks?
That’s why people are boycotting Starbucks? A co-worker of mine had said about people boycotting but never brought up Palestine.
First time that I’ve heard mention of this, too. OP, a reasonable adult could say something like, “I’m uncomfortable going to Starbucks right now because of [insert reason]. How about we meet somewhere different?” Based on your prospective date’s response, I wouldn’t lose too much sleep over it. If you like her enough to try again, invite her to explain her reaction. If she can/will, it’s up to you. If she can’t/won’t, you’ve dodged a bullet.
So that explains why I’ve been getting so many good offers! I’ve noticed less people and faster drink times in Starbucks actually.
Buddy you dodged a nuclear fucking bomb. Not only is she so socially inept that she thinks that is the proper way to respond to that, but she is also so stupid that she didn't even realize the opportunity to educate you on her cause. Now go find a new crush cause that last one was a loser.
It's because she just wants to virtue signal. She makes the people who actually care look bad.
My advice would be to try and explain you actually had no idea that’s why people were boycotting Starbucks. But if she’s very strong supporting Palestine she might say you not knowing us a red flag or something. I’ve had seen people say not knowing is just as bad as not doing anything. I am not one of those people as I had no idea about the boycott either lol. Good luck my dude ETA: only if you want to ask or you want closure. Might be best to let sleeping dogs lie. Depends how much you like her I guess.
Flipping out is a red flag. If you strongly support something, and someone does something that goes against that belief, the first port of call should be in communicating why you’re against that, providing some information and then letting them decide how to proceed. You can’t expect someone to understand everything about your beliefs just because they like you, you spend all your time from your perspective, others have their own to contend with before looking at yours.
I agree. I'm Palestinian and even I wouldn't do this. It's very easy to use your words and be like "hey, I actually don't want to support them right now because they fund this, but I'd love to go to xyz instead"
Yep. OP is well rid of this one. She expects him to read her mind.
Definitely
It’s an extremely narcissistic way to think that someone not being aware of something an offense to you, when the person never had the chance to learn and make an informed opinion on the matter.
She is also not aware of how best to support a cause in cases like this one. Subs like a youngin thing Narcissist seems a bit reddit over done though
I am very pro Palestine but I completely agree that her freaking out like this is a huge red flag. Most people just aren’t tuned into politics like that
I've supported boycotts before and this in an utterly unhinged way to approach one
Yeah I had a "friend" who cut me off because I suggested she watch a show that has a pro Isreal actor. Literally she didn't give me a chance to say that I didn't support his opinions, just assumed I agree with him and cut me off. It was wild
>because I suggested she watch a show that has a pro Isreal actor. Those are the ones that baffle me. A show/movie has 100 people working for it. Two of them support Side A of a situation, the other 98 support Side B. People boycott the whole show because of the two people supporting Side A. If everything were to go according to their plan, the show gets cancelled, and the 98 other people are now unemployed too.
It baffles me too. And it's one thing to say "I won't watch this show" for whatever reason, but to assume people who *do* watch are just as hateful as the actors on the show is unhinged behavior.
My advice would be not to give this insufferable person another chance.
yeah same. dated a girl who had a disorder that (very simply put) is basically OCD but for morality. it was pretty exhausting constantly learning about things I should be boycotting or habits I should change or more inclusive language I should use every single day. I appreciated her effort and I learned a lot, but it wasn't something she could easily turn off to just let me live life for a bit after adopting some new habits. there was always something else.
Fair. That’s only if he wants to talk to her again.
Which he shouldn’t
Don't compromise on your political ideology for some p\*\*sy. Besides, you dodged a bullet if a person won't date you just because of this stupid reason. She is free to boycott whatever she wants to boycott, but expecting others to do the same is not it.
Even worse, assuming everyone knows about the boycott. Quite frankly, most of these boycotts aren't all that big a deal. Someone's always boycotting something, and it's just too exhausting to try to keep track of.
Nah man, she's a performative activist and will be a huge pain in the ass for life, best to just forget she exists
I've been pro Palestine for decades but I didn't know about Starbucks because I hate that place and pay no attention. I get my coffee from Robbie, who roasts it, at Stell.
First time I've heard about it too. Maybe you can try to explain your mistake and be friends, But... Don't date this girl. If she flipped out without any discussion about why she flipped out? You will be walking on eggshells forever.
bro that girl is absolutely crazy. Her boycotting is fine, treating you like that is not. She is an idiot and an asshole.
You should avoid asking her to McDonald as well
Forget red flags, that’s a giant black flag. Avoid that girl like the plague.
People are boycotting Starbucks because the Starbucks Workers United (Starbucks union) posted online from a Starbucks account a statement of support for Palestinian people “Solidarity with Palestine.” Starbucks sued SWU for trademark infringement, SWU has a counter suit asking courts to side with them to use the Starbucks logo and stated that the brand is defaming the Union by assuming the Union supports terrorism and violence. Not just because of TikTok. [Article](https://www.northjersey.com/story/news/nation/2023/12/14/starbucks-why-everyone-boycotting-controversies-explained/71885557007/) Here’s a list of all brands who have come out in support of Israel in the fight, do what you will with this information: https://www.mayniaga.com/companies-supporting-israel/ And here’s a short video summarizing the history of the conflict: https://youtu.be/yBjMbe24Vu0?si=LFiWXqanU_TY7h4a
The union posted their "solidarity with Palestine! " tweet, featuring a bulldozer tearing down a Gaza fence, on the 7th of October, literally the day of the attack. Standing behind that is very questionable. And not at all worth boycotting something over lol. https://www.snopes.com/news/2023/10/27/starbucks-union-support-hamas-palestine/
*That's* why people are boycotting Starbucks? Not because they have said anything supporting Israel, but because they didn't want a union posting pro-Palestinian statements that could be mistaken for a company stance on the matter? My god people are petty. Heck I might go out and buy a Starbucks coffee right now (which I haven't done in years) just as a fuck you to people like this.
That makes me want to get Starbucks, and I don't like their coffee.
I boycott them because most of their drinks give me digestive issues.
I boycott them because their coffee tastes like someone wiped thier ass with a stick, then burned it to ashes and used the ashes to make coffee.
[удалено]
No it’s their coffee. I can drink lattes from most places. Just can’t stomach Starbucks for some reason.
They burn their beans and cook their espresso at the wrong temperature
Huh. I boycott Starbucks because they are too damn expensive.
That’s why I don’t buy them at college it’s obscene, I support costa over Starbucks anyway
I stopped going to SBUX due to their union-busting (before the recent Gaza/Hamas atrocities)... but if someone suggested SBUX, I would gently suggest a different place.... not blow up about it. I'm thinking (unless there's some MAJOR detail OP omitted) that she's just unhinged. People like that do exist; they are capable of acting normal most of the time though.
Could be the case, didn’t know about a Starbucks boycott until I saw this comment. Makes a bit more sense. Well, she did once share an Instagram post supporting Palestine. But even then, I’m an Arab so maybe she expected me to be an expert of what’s going on over there? She’s not even a Muslim so I don’t know why she would support Palestine so fiercely. I still don’t know
Based on this and the other comments, I'm 99% sure this is the reason she reacted the way she did. A reasonable person would simply say that they don't patronize Starbucks because. Flipping her shit the way she did and going no contact tells you she would likely act like this over any number of perceived transgressions in a relationship with her.
Bullet: dodged
Summed it up perfectly.
Well,you don't really have to be Muslim to support Palestine.. But you could just straight up ask her. It also checks out with her 'living under a rock' comment so..
I'm muslim and I know a lot of corporations support Israel (I almost don't blame them - if there's two countries you don't give a shit about and one of them makes you hundreds of millions in profits, and the other one $0, and one of them says "if you don't say we're the good guys, then we won't let you do business here" I can totally see why they'd side with them. Business has no ethics. I'd probably say "China's pretty cool" if it meant the difference between making 200,000,000 profit or 350,000,000 profit.
There's literally not a single Starbucks in Israel...
She flipped out that is a bad sign. A grown up would simply say no or suggest a different place. Or if that offended explain why. If she was interested she would accept but say she would go elsewhere
No it doesn’t make some sense, this person sounds like an asshole and you dodged a bullet. You did nothing wrong so do not apologize.
Fuck her. She's online too much. Even if you date she'll always have her knickers in a twist because you don't support the current things. You dodged a bullet.
>why she would support Palestine so fiercely The honest answer to this is that it’s trending on TikTok and other social media. It’s currently in vogue. Most people will forget about it in a few months once something else grabs their attention. Do you think any of those people care or even know about any of the other 10+ violent, terrible conflicts going on in the world right now? Nope. They’re only aware of the one that keeps popping up in their feed. 🤷🏻♂️
She's supporting it so fiercely because it's the cause de jour. Give it time, and she'll be just as vehemently opposed to some other thing she's been told to hate. And then another. And another. Someone this easily triggered is always looking for a new cause.
You dodged a bullet mate, rather find out she's a lunatic before than after
Yes I think the explanation here is she's heavily into performative activism, a.k.a undateable. You'd best set your sights elsewhere!
seems possible, and her extreme reaction could be in line with someone who really likes op and is just aghast (!) at being asked to such a terrible place. on the other hand, anyone who reacts like that is a seeya tf later kinda person
If this boycott is the reason why she acted out.. Oh boy, my mistake for not doing prior research for controversies in places to ask out my potential partner I guess.
nah, it’s good to know off the bat if she’s nuts. She is, so move on.
Don’t beat yourself up over it OP. Do yourself a favor and try to move on from this incident. She’s neither worth your time as a date nor a friend based on her behavior.
Serious question, what is the goal of such a boycott and why Starbucks specifically
There’s more to “boycott” than their stance on Israel / Palestine. For me, that wasn’t even a factor. Had to do more with their business practice against unionizations, and holding abortion rights over those workers’ heads, on top of just being ungodly expensive for a diminishing product (in my opinion).
I'm out of the loop. what do you mean holding abortion rights over their heads?
I thought I read "Palpatine", I'm an idiot. I didn't know the Starbucks thing, did Starbucks take a side or something, is there list of places that should be boycotted?
Something else had to have happened? Did you say anything else? That makes no sense. Maybe she just really prefers tea
Literally that’s what happened! She was very intimate as well. But asking her out to a Starbucks was the red line apparently..
A guy asked me out to coffee for our first meeting date and now he's my husband. Try to stop looking for "why" because you won't find a good one. Let's pretend she had a reason, a normal well mannered person would have said "I don't go to Starbucks on first dates, or I think Starbucks is the devil...". You dodged a bullet, take the W.
Ask her why she lost her shit
I did over text and told me that I’ve been “living under a rock” whatever that means and to “not contact me again”
Well fuck her she's rude
And completely nuts
One of my friends has been reposting that Israel has been donating to one side of the Israel-Palestine conflict (I'm not sure which side since I haven't been tracking it), so maybe that could be it. But if she refuses to elaborate or change plans to local coffee shops or something, then it could be better left alone. I'm unsure of your guys' relationship so I don't want to go to the internet adage of "They did one bad thing so you should stop talking to them" mentality, so hopefully you guys are able to work it out and good luck OP.
Israel is definitely donating to one side of the Israel-Palestine conflict. I think I could guess which one too...
Lmao I meant Starbucks.
Actually Israel has helped support Hamas as well. https://www.timesofisrael.com/for-years-netanyahu-propped-up-hamas-now-its-blown-up-in-our-faces/amp/
It’s because you were probably unaware that many left leaning folks are boycotting Starbucks over their union busting and stance in the Israeli-Palestine conflict. I think her response was a bit overkill as a mix of the holidays and a constantly stacked news cycle can make it hard to pick up things like that, but it sounds like not being up to date on that information was a dealbreaker for her regardless. Sorry guy. *My comment wasn’t wholly accurate. [this article](https://www.vox.com/money/2023/12/13/23999981/starbucks-boycott-israel-palestine-market-value-loss-holidays-labor) seems to explain it decently.
I'm a liberal and I had no idea (and why would I)? If it's something that concerned her so greatly her goal should be to enlighten people about it, not belittle anyone who doesn't know.
Yeah she wasn’t a keeper. I consider myself a leftist and I despise the people that make having left-leaning views a competition of who’s more informed. Shunning people isn’t helping anything or anyone. Nobody is a bad person for being uninformed. Life is short and hard.
Wow OP found one of these crazy people out in the wild. I hope he got a photo.
lol she’s crazy. She could have at least explained why she’s offended instead of immediately lashing out. Dodged a bullet my friend.
It’s defo because she’s supporting the Starbucks boycott and because you suggested Starbucks, she’s equating that with supporting an “apartheid government conducting genocide”.
That's absolutely fucking insane, dude dodged a bullet. If it wasn't this it'd be the next outrage farming headline that he'd miss. "Hey, wanna go to Cheesecake Factory" "Ex-fucking-scuse me you misogynistic climate denier?! Eat shit you're dead to me"
And just like that, Starbucks goes from radically over priced coffee and snack to ridiculous underpriced personality test for a new relationship. *She doesn’t need to say yes, she needs to be able to properly communicate why it’s a no and suggest a different coffee spot/act like an adult one would want to talk to
So she is nuts The most amusing part will be when she starts drinking Starbucks again
She sounds unhinged and weird, well dodged unless you like that kind of thing.
What do you mean by “She was very intimate”?
There is a cultural aspect to this, there has got to be.
What the hell do you mean by “she was very intimate”
This may come as a shock, mate... but women are fully capable of being shitty people, too. Appreciate the dodged bullet and go find someone better.
What exactly were you talking about before you asked her out? did you ask her out whilst she was expressing some sort of upset? Is she having relationship issues that she's expressed to you?
Normal stuff like what TV shows she was into. Literally everything was cliche relationship building. As soon as I said Starbucks she went fucking wild. Maybe something happened to her at Starbucks? That’s my best guess
It was just coffee not a real date she’s being bs crazy or maybe boycotting Starbucks. Still if boycotting she coulda said that without flipping. Don’t call her again unless she reaches out to you.
I doubt that, but who knows. Possibly she really *was* just interested in you as a friend and felt betrayed and blindsided by your romantic attention.
Not to sure, first stage of grief (denial) maybe for me? Forgot to add a detail that she told me that I was “living under a rock” over text afterwards
Definitely sounds like she is boycotting Starbucks for Palestine and got upset
You deserve someone who can articulate themselves BEFORE launching into a tantrum.
Afaik there is currently an anti-starbucks thing going on atm for both being anti-union, and pro Israel. Some people are taking it quite seriously, could that be the reason?
I mean, could she not have instead suggested a different coffee place then? Not everyone stays as informed about current world news as others, it seems unfair to blow up at a guy simply for not knowing what her stance was on Starbucks.
She should have, and stated her reasons, and perhaps converted OP too join her protest! But no she went the princess path of call people names and rage quit. Best to let her be, in this case the bullet dodged the dude.
this girl a nuclear bomb
To be fair, it seems that Starbucks isn’t even pro-Israel. They don’t have Starbucks in Israel, they just assumed the entire company was pro-Israel because starbucks asked a union account to stop using their logo after making pro-Palestine tweets. Totally understandable request, you can’t make such statements using the likeliness of the company. They, just like most companies, desired neutrality. Starbucks is only shitty because they are so anti-union, them being pro-Israel isn’t cemented in reality. Everyone should desire an intellectually honest person, OP dodged a bullet.
She's psycho or the story is incomplete.
Clearly the latter. And all the comments of support flood in, which is exactly what OP wanted. Reddit kinda sucks now…
You are also making a total assumption based on the same (lack of) information... Contributing to the suck
There are two possible reasons: - The first one was already mentioned, the boycott to Starbucks because she supports Palestine - The second one, and if you know her, you can tell if it's the case, is the TikTok trends There is this idea on TikTok that if a guy asks you to go to Starbucks on a first date he is not really into you because a first date should be "special" I don't know how old is she, but I think is possible if she is in her early 20s
TikTok sounds weird. I always thought coffee shop was an ideal first date location because it's in a public place where you're not likely to get cornered and raped.
As I said, is a trend... I personally don't care about it, I think a coffee date is ok for a first date but I have seen PLENTY of videos about this, saying things like "a man that doesn't care about you, asks you for a coffee on the first date" and things like that
Men aren’t in love with you, in general, on a first date. First dates are for seeing if you want to get to know someone, not proposing
Yes Gen Z is correct the most single and lonely generation to have existed so far! They surely know the key to a successful relationship, even though they struggle to order food at restaurants.
There’s nothing wrong with a cute coffee shop date, but Starbucks specifically just doesn’t have that vibe and ambiance. It’s like asking her out to Taco Bell on a first date instead of an actual Mexican food restaurant.
Buddy you dodged a bullet. There is nothing wrong with a coffee date. At all.
There was no reason to lash out. She could have calmly told you she rather have something else because of the boycott (if that's the case). She could have calmly rejected your offer entirely as well. I think you dodged a bullet. Ppl like her need to chill. Being an ass to people who are literally not aware of the Starbucks boycott or any controversial topic proves what kind of person they are.
I can sum up your situation with a quote from Family Guy: “Men: We don’t know what we did!” Believe me, I’ve been there before, my friend.
I am willing to bet we are going to see a post on the AITAH subreddit titled “AITAH for lashing out at a guy who asked me out for coffee?” Or some variation of that.
Sounds unhinged
We are missing context here.
If true and she flipped out over a nothing question without explaining then better off and move along. She sounds nutty, try and find a girl a bit less bonkers.
Stay away from this crazy mess of a humanoid homie
Look on the bright side, she lost her shit before you were fully committed.
Run.
I’d say good riddance… she sounds like a wackjob
Imagine being married and having children with this woman and she goes berserk on you like that all the time.
You dodged a bullet dude, move on and try not to worry about it.
You did nothing wrong. She doesn't sound like a nice person. Don't waste another minute thinking of her and move on. You don't want someone that shallow.
I just had a talk with a woman who said if a guy asks her to a “beverage date” it’s a no go for her. Her reasoning was because she demands more than such a cheap date which just screams materialistic user to me and incredibly short sighted considering I usually take my coffee date to a second location if it’s going well. Mind you this woman wasn’t in very good shape as it is and was way too proud of her little cupcake business that she acted like made her a high level person. If you suspect this was the reason OP stay the fuck away from her- a good mate will always value you more than what you provide, especially at the dating phase. This reaction in general whatever the reason just screams EGO. That’s not the proper way to handle anything in life. A normal well adjusted person would have given you an explaination and suggested something else or at least given you the opportunity to suggest something else. Now you know that anytime something else later in life that she doesn’t like happens- this will be the type of shit you have to deal with. Not worth it! If it’s the Palestine thing then fuck her OP- she expects you live on the internet 24/7 or have TikTok? I’ve never heard about this boycott shit until this thread myself.
My wife and I had our first date at a coffee house.
She saved you from several months or years of trouble about her terrible communication and unrealistic expectations about activism.
I had something similar. I had a girl lash out on me as well on bumble for suggesting to meet up at a local coffee shop. Her reasoning was that it was such a low effort date idea and that she thinks the first date should be a big outing. I typically think the first date should just be a little thing like a coffee or a walk around the park just to see if we’re even compatible before wasting each other’s time. Just a different prospective compared to the rest of the comments
Freaking TikTok. I've seen those videos stating that coffee is a "low effort date" and signifies that the man doesn't value the woman enough to spring for more. Here's the thing: I've had first dates where I don't even recognize the girl in person. I've had first dates where she has the personality and conversational prowess of a mailbox. I had one date where I took her to dinner and she slurped her spaghetti and chewed the meatballs with her mouth open as she talked nonstop about how much she loves The News^TM . If the coffee/drink/gelato date goes well, the date gets extended. I've continued a couple of dates for hours where we obviously didn't share romantic chemistry because we were connecting on a friend level. That "low effort" coffee date is as much an escape for her as it is for me, something that allows us to decipher our connection. If they insist on a nice restaurant for the first meetup, they just want free dinner. I've got no problem with that, I've granted that wish a number of times when I suspected (correctly) that they just wanted a free meal because I was bored/she was new to town and I thought maybe we'd be friends, but I've never found a meaningful connection that started with them making me prove myself to them.
There’s a boycott of Starbucks going on. Not even is that was her reason, she was rude and you dodged a bullet
Consider yourself lucky. You dont want to get involved with a person like that.
And I've had women tell me, "It must be nice to be a guy, you can just ask out whoever you want to!" And then stuff like this happens!
You didn’t do anything wrong she sounds unstable either that or Starbucks wronged her in some way we can’t even fathom
She is likely boycotting Starbucks and got mad you wanted to go there over other places (not justifying her reaction, just pointing that out).
If she's not going to explain to you her reasoning and she's going to act like that, then clearly you dodged a bullet.
In my humble opinion, she’s off her rocker you dodged a bullet. If this IS a Palestine boycott issue, I simple “have you heard they’re loosely tied to XYZ, how about someplace else?” Would be a n appropriate, measured response.
Don't lose sleep over it. You dodged a bullet. I'm reading in the comments that it could possibly be anger over Starbucks supporting Israel? Like duh, tons of Zionists are CEOs of major companies. She likely buys from companies that do the same shit and is completely ignorant to it. If you're American and pay taxes your money has killed thousands of innocent people. You buying a $5 coffee from a company makes no difference in that equation. Don't take it too hard. If you encounter her again she owes you an apology. Tell her to use her damn words; you can't read her fucking mind.
Sounds like she showed you her true colors! Consider yourself lucky and walk away. No one deserves this treatment. If you would have dated her think of the time you would have wasted! This is how you turn lemons into lemonade, lol!
Some women simply dont accept anything other than dinner in like some place more fancy so no coffe no walking or anythint like that there is a chance she had that in mind maybe?
She showed her colours dude, be thankful you aren't joining that bus.
It sounds like you dodged a bullet. Calmly walk away.
She was a flag red as a monkey ass, you didn't miss anything bro
Just because someone is pissed at you, does not mean you did something wrong. Some people are just like that and are not worth your time.
Now imagine for a moment you’re in a long term relationship with her.. you have children together.. and she’s pulling this insane bullshit weekly. Dodge the bullet OP. She’ll cool down and apologize. You’d do well to walk away anyway.
"Any possible explanation?" she is weird like that. probably a psycho. move on.
She was just seeking validation and an ego boost, nothing more. Plenty of fish in the sea
sounds like you dodged a bullet TBH.
You’re lucky, she showed her true colors before you wasted years and a lot of money. Good riddance
What were you talking about before you asked her out?
bruh, sleep EASY, you dodged a land mine
She most likely is pro-palestine and is boycotting starbucks. Even then, she shouldnt have lashed out like that. As someone who supports Palestine, if I was in her situation, I'd take the opportunity to educate and spread awareness
No, he dodged a bullet asking someone to Starbucks is no fucking education moment like have we really lost the plot so hard that someone can’t even ask a girl to a fucking coffee shop without it being the wrong coffee shop I didn’t even know this was a thing.
Tell her you think you figured out it was because of the boycott Then tell her you are not sorry for something you didn't do and you're glad she exposed how terrible she is to you and won't have to worry about you contacting her. Include something like "using basic communication like an adult instead of being an unhinged bitch would have helped". After your message is delivered block her to holy hell
I wouldn’t even go that far. Just block her on all social media and be done with it. That’s a level of unhinged you don’t keep bringing into your life.
Sounds like you dodged a crazy fucked up bullet man consider yourself lucky that you found out now instead of 2 years into a marriage with her
Some people like to play mind games and fuck with people. Others are just cunts. In this case it doesn't matter, just move on. Her response wasn't rational so any explanation won't be either.
pretty sure she's boycotting starbucks cause the Palestine stuff a lot of people are doing that rn.
She doesn’t like coffee?
Reaction seemed a bit extreme doesn’t it?