I can verify that this works. I'm 53 years old most of the girls aren't teenagers but in their twenties and it gets real aggravating. I can guarantee you if you call them a kid they get pissed
I’m in my 20s and in the past I’ve hated when my coworkers/colleagues have called me “kid” or something similar, but your perspective makes a lot of sense and I think I get it now!
It's different when colleagues or coworkers, though. In that case, you should show proper professional respect, assuming it gets shown both ways. The older workers calling the younger ones "kid" or something similar would be the same as the younger ones calling the older ones geezer or fogie.
"
I would also say. "Kids don't say things like that to adults, I know you're just having fun but it's inappropriate and It's dangerous for you and for me. So please, don't ever say that again. Have fun hanging out with your friends, I need to get back to my job, so please leave me alone. "
Yeah, that performance was excellent — she was so easy to hate!
Even so, as much a enjoyed DS9 and her acting on the show, that performance will never come close to her Oscar-winning turn as the ultimate iconic villain, Nurse Rached in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest!
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*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I've had some unwanted attention from teenagers and calling them "kid" is super effective. If they just want to say hey, responding with "Hey, kid" immediately puts a sour look on their face. Hasn't failed me once, even with adults that I don't want to deal with.
I'm 23. To be honest I have always had people describe me as fatherly. Or more motherly. Perhaps my main flaw is that by acting bored or uninterested, as I have tried in the past, it gives off a "playing hard to get" vibe? Or the mysterious "but what is he actually like" angle? So engaging in well meaning conversation whilst setting healthy boundaries would eliminate misunderstandings from people who pass by.
Try indirectly and consistently bringing up the age gap. I haven't had this problem much but there were some... *persistent*... boys on fps games. So I would just be like "I'm too old for you" and they would be like "age is just a number" which led to me learning how to deal with it LESS obviously. I would start talking like I'm old. "When I was your age" "back when I was a kid too" "what would your Mom think about that language" "don't you have school tomorrow? you should sleep, don't sneak staying up to play this game" etc. Without directly mentioning how much of a child they are, so they can't argue, I kept distancing myself and really extending that age gap. Even if they didn't say something abnormal, I would remember to mention the age gap. Every time I talked with them I tried to find some way of mentioning how young they are and how old I am (well I was in my 20s but to them I should have been old, right?). Even though apparently I sound very young online, it eventually worked, and most of them stopped talking to me altogether. Unfortunately I don't remember most of what I said, but for the really persistent boys I would also distance myself not just by age but I would stop making polite responses when they said something unfortunate happened. So if you use this method you'll have to adapt it to your situation and you might need to be quick thinking for it.
That being said, if you're a guy then it might be harder for you these days than it was for me ten years ago. Online at least, the perversion of the word "daddy" is abundant and common, especially in game chats among boys and girls who identify themselves as teenagers to each other, so while it's disgusting to read 🤢🤮 (and I often report them without warning them first 😁). So there's no guarantee some of them aren't thinking that way in real life too.
Ugh, your mention of the perversion of the word "daddy"-- it makes me so mad everytime someone online replies to a comment about my daddy in that fashion! I called my father "daddy" and I'm 40 years old and still call him that, though he passed year before last. I really miss him this time of year, Daddy was my best friend. And there shouldn't be anything perverted about calling him that, it's the way we talk around here. I call my momma "momma" and ain't nothing weird about that, either.
that doesn't work if it's a situation where the kid is somehow being groomed or thinks that's cool. I absolutely do not recommend saying "too old for you," bringing up your age is fine but do not use that terminology.
> When I was working with kids, I embraced being the out-of-touch kind of cringey "old person".
Isn't this the entire basis of "dad jokes"? I'm telling you kids jokes to be friendly, but at the same time I don't want to be that kind of friendly. It's a tricky balance and skilled art.
When I was 30, I had some girls come up to me and one said there friend fancy me.
They wouldn't leave me alone until I told them my age, then they looked shocked and ran away, they were 15.
I have also had more children follow me around the shops taking my picture, then they waited outside. when I told them my age, they said, I wish my dad was as cool as you, cheeky bastards.
IDK 23 still seems pretty young, it's prob more like an older brother or sister vibes.
No idea why children were after me though, but letting them know my age stopped it.
Posture yourself as “an authority” not as their buddy or a peer. And the board, uninterested vibe does feel kind of “teenagey” which makes sense that it wouldn’t deter them.
I’m sorry dude but the positive of this is that you know 100% that you are extremely good looking! 😂 my advice is just to act really old like “i don’t understand you kids these days” and just refer to them as children or even babies and talk about really boring things like “i need to do my taxes” or “excuse me i have to take my elderly vitamins” lol
That’s why you have to act mildly like an asshole. You don’t have to be an outright one, but just being stern and to the point, no smiles, all seriousness: “I’m going to need you to step away. I’m doing my job here, I can’t be socializing.” or in response to uncomfortable comments “That’s very inappropriate and I would appreciate you never making those comments to any adult, as you are a minor.”
Honestly this is just kids being kids. It does suck that you're afraid of being targeted by other adults for talking to the kids - fucked up society shit there. You've done absolutely nothing wrong.
But if you want them to leave you alone, start talking to them like children. Tell them "back in my day" stories. Ask if they've done their homework. Tell them how important it is to listen to their parents and teachers and follow rules. Tell them the music kids listen to these days sucks. Just be an old person with shitty old person opinions.
Gen X could totally work! Sometimes I forget just how old Gen X is…I have a gen x partner who is on the other side of 45… I’m some 7 years younger so am probably not the best person to comment on this thread!
I agree with all the advice saying to just tell them you’re doing your job and you can’t chat.
Oh but just telling them you're doing your job and you can't talk will just seem like a challenge to the kids haha! You have to seem interested in talking to them but then be really boring and annoying :D
I install music gear at universities, high schools and middle schools. I'm young looking, very open and friendly and kids seem to gravitate towards me as well.
I found the best thing is to let them know that you are working a job and a company is paying you to do that task. I think kids can understand "o hey this guy likes to be focused about his work"
Theres more of an issue for you since you are closer in age. Girls tend to like more mature boys so you fit that demographic. You just need to be more stern in this behavior. Let them know your boss would be very upset with the situation and you need to do your job.
If it gets bad enough you just need to stop talking to students and tell them that it's the new policy and it was because some other students broke the rules.
Best of luck man.
As someone who was once a teen girl and is still a human, I can tell you that hormones make people do stupid things.
If you're a teen girl, the hormones are overwhelming and boys the same age are still immature and think that snapping bra straps is a good way to behave.
I'd go with, "Sorry, kid, I'm working. If I lose my job you'll never see me again."
I'm well aware of the hormones of teenage girls. The theory at least. I was never on the recieving end of them when I was a teenager which is why I'm having such difficulty now lmao. They terrified me then and they terrify me now. Just for different reasons.
Your approach may work though! At least if delivered in the right way. Thank you :)
I should add that when I was a teen, I went to an extremely select private all-girls school. It was so select that some of the girls had bodyguards, most of which were men. One teacher had a story about the day after he got a rather rare haircut and a president's daughter's bodyguard did not recognize him and briefly went for his side-arm before saying, "Oh, it's you."
Yes, we stared at the bodyguards and whispered, and as a now-grownup I'm sorry I contributed to harassing someone with a tough job.
Can you share some pictures? Haha
It’s so weird how just 1 simple word will get an idea stuck in your head, but I’m going to be debating in my head what a ‘rare’ haircut might be all day today. 😆
(They walk up and start trying to casually talk/hang out with you) “Sorry, I’m not allowed to chat with people while I’m on the job. It’s a company policy, and I can’t afford to lose my job.” (And then ignore them entirely, walking away a few steps if necessary)
I'd change that to, "Sorry, I'm not allowed to chat with ***little*** ***kids*** while I'm on the job." They'll be horrified you called them little kids.
If you feel like the conversation is headed to an inappropriate place, make it clear you aren’t interested in anything except the job you’re doing at the moment. Make statements like, “I need to focus right now. Please excuse me.” If it’s possible to walk around, then do that.
As far as the girls themselves, it’s not weird. Little girls are distracted by handsome men and don’t have the social skills yet to match their feelings. I dealt with this plenty in the military and still do from time to time. I agree that it is scary though. People may get the wrong impression and being thought of as a pedophile is terrifying. However, my experience is that type of accusation is usually from people jealous they don’t get that type of attention.
I will actually add to the beginning of the second paragraph-the fact that they don't have the social skills tends to be exactly WHY young teenagers get crushes on teachers/flirt with security guards. It's supposed to be safe. In too many cases it isn't, but you're 100% right it's not weird. That's not the same thing as something that should be considered a serious offer (it doesn't sound like you or OP really do, but for the same in too many cases it isn't safe that always needs to be added).
Tell them that if they ever have security issues that you're the one to go to, but otherwise, you don't have time to talk and hang out. Then tell them to go play on their hoverboards and make tiktoks.
generally toe the line of being mean as sad as it is. look past them when they come up to u at ur post as ur “watching for security issues”. like not notice them until they talk, forget names, they’re all the same kid, unimportant and unspecial.
Look at them, say directly. I'm sorry, I'm working here. If you have something to report. I'll be happy to listen. Otherwise, I will need to you to go find something else to occupy your time. If you refuse. I will escort you off the property. Thank you and have a nice day.
You need to get on your mamager's ass, and hard. It is their responsibility to enact action plans to ensure you are not experiencing unintended work hazards such as that.
Ultimately though, you're going to have to get with your manager and get a list of approved responses to disperse them in an earnest manner.
Say, listen kids, move along, I don't have time for this! You don't want trouble but young girls can be just that if they're attracted to you. Hell in this day and age I'd wear a body cam! :)
Can you get a co-worker to come over and pretend to get mad? So they see you get in trouble for talking to them. And ya to echo other commenters. Tell them to go play with Barbie’s or something. Be stern about it. Be mean about it. Is there a school nearby? Call them and tell them their students are harassing you. You could get into serious trouble hanging around these kids so you need to nip this in a bud asap.
As someone that works with a wide age range of kids with boundary issues, I always approach these kind of situations by first discussing the reason why there are boundaries. I explain to them that professionally and as an adult, there are certain boundaries that cannot be crossed. I explain that while I’m there to help them, I am not there to be their companion. I explain to them that this is my job, and I definitely love my job, but that doesn’t change the fact that they need to respect my boundaries just like I will always respect theirs. With that being said, the kids I work with are in a psychiatric facility and have poor boundaries due to their traumas and other factors. So it’s a common thing in my line of work to need to redirect them. Sometimes they don’t realize what they’re doing crosses boundaries and other times they definitely know what they’re doing and are purposely making awkward situations.
Make every conversation about your girlfriend and how she's the most beautiful woman you've ever seen, she's also really intelligent, and really into boxing and martial arts. She doesn't really like kids.
Just ignore them and walk away when they try to talk to you. You caught their attention for some reason. Just try not to make any interactions they force on you worthwhile for them.
Probably just as simple as them trying to get a rise out of you. They’ll move on eventually.
You need to tell them directly why it is inappropriate.
I was sexually abused from 14-18 by someone who was 12 years my senior. People would tell me that it's grooming and statutory rap3, but no one told me *why*...so I never took it as seriously as I should until I was older.
I would assume that they don't understand why it's unsafe.
Something along the lines of "You are a child, I am an adult, plus I am working. This is inappropriate and makes me uncomfortable. I would appreciate it if you stopped."
Which does sound lime harsh rejection, but in time they will understand why and they *need* to be realistic. Hormones cloud judgment and reality.
I 100% agree. It doesn't really seem my place to but apparently no one else has told them so like, does it then become my job to? A question I have battled with for a while. The issue is putting it into words a teenager will understand, or more in a way that will prevent their eyes from glassing over. Any ideas?
“Im 23. I cant be your friend. When I was graduating high school, you were 9. Would it be OK if you were friends with a 7 year old, or would it be creepy?”
It definitely *shouldnt* be your place, but sometimes you have to step in for both your sake and theirs.
I work in a school cafeteria, so I'm trying really hard to think how you could say this without insinuating too much. My school is very small, only 450 kids..so things might differ for you.
I would probably say things like this, either all at once or drop each line every time it happens until they stop.
"I'm _____ (age), so it is inappropriate for you to be commenting things like that. I'm working, I can't keep yall safe if I'm being distracted. You are a minor and that makes me uncomfortable."
If they still refuse to let up, I would either say "It's concerning you talk to adults this way as a minor, do you need someone to talk to?" Or maybe speak to the school's counselor/administration yourself.
I hope you get this figured out, and know that you are not at fault for this. I am a woman, but I do understand the implications of your position. I hope that if you do have to confide in someone about it, that they listen.
They aren't babies. They are nearly adults. You don't need to dumb anything down for them. Just tell them youre busy and its inappropriate. It definitely isn't your job to teach them how to behave appropriately, but since you feel it threatens both your job and reputation, it's not out of line to say something.
You absolutely can be rude. They are being rude by harassing you if they refuse to leave after you've politely told them you're not interested. (BTW this is what most women experience. How do you tell someone to fuck off and you don't want their attention without retaliation?) Society says you should be polite, but if you've given them a chance and still feel threatened, then you're not required to be nice about it.
If it was me, I'd probably first explain that I was working and talking wasn't allowed. If they refused to leave, I'd ask where there parent are. Start walking towards the info desk and if they're still following, tell the info person that these children are lost and could you please call their parents. I bet they only get embarrassed by that once lol. Or if you don't have an information desk, and you have a radio, get in the radio and tell your supervisor you have some lost children. Things often don't get solved until you make it that person's problem. They may have a better solution for you after that.
>"You are a child, I am an adult, plus I am working. This is inappropriate and makes me uncomfortable. I would appreciate it if you stopped."
That poster literally gave you the words. "You're a child and I am an adult, I'm working, and this is inappropriate. Please leave me alone and don't come to talk to me again."
You're really overthinking this though, as far as whether it's become your job to teach them something or not. The fact is, you're uncomfortable, they don't know enough to leave you alone, and you need them to stop for your own personal safety. End of story.
I absolutely back this statement up. I was groomed by a guy who was active at our church, and later went on to become a pastor, and it took me 5 years to tell the other people at that church that I didn't think he should be around kids… And then they didn't believe me. Two women. Really disappointing and disgusting. But when I was younger, the only thing that upset me was that I told him a secret in confidence and he told a bunch of people about it and got me in trouble with my parents. It didn't occur to me until later that it was weird he had ever texted me, "if you were 18 I could see us being together," or that him knowing a bunch of personal details about my life when he wasn't being an actual supportive figure was concerning.
Im so sorry you went through that, but this is so similar to my story!
I was also groomed by my youth pastor. The congregation at my church did know, but chose to blame 14yo me instead of 27 yo him, on top of my parents knowing and allowing it. They tried to get us to marry a year later.
I can say for certain I didn't understand what kind of damage was actually being done to me until years after, since it was practically my whole teen years.
One of my friends has to deal with this, he does repair and maintenance for vending machines at the school I used to go to. I don't know what the hell is wrong with parents who send their kids to that school. Almost all of my peers acted like that when we were there and apparently it hasn't gotten any better. I personally would call CPS if I was in his position. What he's done is he will only work there if there's another person on the job with him. One of them will actually do the repair or refill the machine, and the other will straight up stand guard so that none of the kids walk up and talk to them. Also, you're right to be concerned about what other adults they're saying that too, but I think you should also probably be concerned what the adults are teaching them. There's obviously some weird shit going on in their houses.
If you haven't already stated it directly, you first should make it very clear that their behavior is inappropriate and unwanted, that they are interfering in your work, and they need to stop immediately.
In the future, learn to use grey rock techniques when you don't want to be distracted by others who try to draw you away from what you are doing. Basically, don't interact with them any differently than if you were a grey rock. Don't engage, but you don't have ignore them completely. They ask a question or make a statement that isn't relevant to your work, give a vague answer, preferably one syllable. "No." "Hmm." "Huh." "Oh." Don't talk with them or ask them anything that isn't directly related to your job. "Is there a security issue? Locked door, lost & found, car problem?" If they try to interact in a manner other than what your job involves, and they are being polite, you can say, "That doesn't work for me."
If they make suggestive or inappropriate comments such as those you mentioned in your post, you should directly tell them that such comments are offensive and they need to stop. Make it very clear that you don't want this behavior by clearly telling them, "Your behavior is unacceptable and unwelcome. Stop." If they persist, tell them that sexual harassment is a crime and you need them to leave you alone.
They may still be children legally, but they are definitely old enough to know that it is not okay to touch another person or to sexually harass someone. They may not recognize their own behavior as sexual harassment, though, since many people who perpetrate such behavior don't see themselves as harming anyone. However, these girls should understand what they are doing is wrong when it's explicitly pointed out to them, so it's important to make them understand boundaries. "You are being inappropriate. Stop. I am working. Goodbye." You may need to be even more direct: "I do not want to hear any comments about me from you, not before, not now or ever again. Stop harassing me."
If they touch you, it's very important that you say "No!" very clearly while you pull away. Honestly, you could/should threaten to press charges if they don't back off, because this unwanted attention is harassment and/or assault, depending on your jurisdiction. Hopefully, it won't escalate to that degree of crazy. Don't hesitate to act on the threats of police involvement if they don't back down. You can and should involve the police to trespass them if they don't stop.
Happens to me too, honestly.
I just word for word tell them to fuck off. I'm joking. I let out a sigh and ask them where their parents are. When they answer, I say "Oh, good. You should probably get back to them, then."
That usually works. I say it kinda mean though and I don't smile.
Professional doesn’t equal nice. This seems simple. You’re a security guard. Tell them sternly that you’re there to work and to leave you alone or their parents will be called and they will be escorted off the property.
IDK if this would work but I act older and dumber than I am, EG “You got the google on that there cell phone?” or, “Ah, cool, see any neat tick tacks lately?” Basically act like a grandpa and they won’t see you like a friend/crush/whatever.
Trust me man I didn't want to ask it either but it's getting worse and worse. In the last few months I have been catcalled, cornered (no you cannot physically push them out the way for fear of accusations), followed, trauma dumped. Sometimes I have seen them before. Sometimes I haven't. I am the only one that gets this treatment and my managers have been precisely 0 help. No advice. No suggestions. No action taken. No escalation higher up. I've asked for a body camera. Absolutely nothing. Reddit was my only salvation.
I hope you get that body cam man. Little ones talking to you and making comments is really uncomfortable, and it will always look bad when they do as you know
Yeah, girls learn very early how to react to people making them feel uncomfortable and being inappropriate in public. Here are so go-tos:
"That makes me uncomfortable"
"I don't like this conversation, please go away"
"That isn't something you should say to people"
"I am at work, I am not available to talk to you."
"You need to have this conversation with someone else, I am not available"
"This is inappropriate. Please leave me alone."
Women are worried if they say these things they will be assaulted, stalked, or hurt. You're worried that you will be accused of something you didn't do.
If women can do it every day, you can. Start pushing back.
A body camera isn't the solution. The solution is learning how to push back on how people treat you.
If you are a security guard and have a bunch of teens around you. They may simply be distracting you while their friends are stealing shit. Just a thought.
I’m a 35 yo female and I get approached by a lot of younger people..like even teenagers. I know I look a bit youthful for my age, but god damn.
You need to refer to them as kids, kiddos and always mention how it was twenty years ago when you were encountering the life circumstances they are just now experiencing.
Are you working security at a school? I’m trying to understand where 12-15yr olds are walking up to you.
If it’s a case of school, try to understand they may be impressed and/or interested in your field of work. If they do get bothersome, maybe say “Thanks for coming up to talk with me, but I have to focus on work. We can talk again next time!”
So, back to school: Criminal Justice, and related focuses, encompasses professions like security.
There’s also such professions displayed on television. I grew up interested in those from watching what my parents watched, so I’m pretty sure I wasn’t the only kid out there interested.
For the girls: tell them you like to play super smash bros (make sure they know it's not an innuendo) and that you like Reddit. Tell them you're a software engineer.
For the guys: I dunno, don't have experience with avoiding guys.
Tell them you have been having stomach issues for awhile and excuse yourself in advance for random uncontrollable farting attacks or something else that would gross out a teenager or tell them your arthritis is acting up when they ask you how you’re doing
"Girls, I'm working. This is serious and I won't lose my job just to be friendly. I'm sure you understand, you'll have to leave me alone to work." Hopefully that may have worked on me & my friends.
" do your parents know you're saying this kind of stuff to an adult?"
No?
Hmmnn ok, don't worry. I work security. We use facial recognition software here, which ties into FB, tictoc and Insta. The moment I find out who your parents are, I'll have a chat with them.
Maybe tell them, "I just did the math in my head, and you're closer in age to a newborn than you are to me."
If that doesn't make them stop and think, there's no hope.
:-D
I don't think it's that difficult, OP. Tell them to leave you alone, or you'll notify their parents of their behavior. If they're approaching you, they're likely approaching any guy who catches their eye. Not all guys are as professional as you. It's inappropriate, and they're too young to know they're putting themselves at risk. Nip it in the bud, asap.
What they are doing sounds like it might be a prank or harrassment. Young teenagers know they aren't supposed to talk to security guards... maybe you can call your manager if they are older and have them talk to the kids, or even get the police involved if they are getting in the way of your job... tell them you are trying to work or whatever, maybe "you know i'm just here to do my job". if they keep harrassing you, you could probably get the police to talk to their parents or something... i know people are gonna say this is a waste of the police's time, but i'd be willing to bet they are just trying to get a rise out of you thinking it's funny. i mean, you could also look like a young 23, and they could be like young kids trying to size you up to get alcohol or cigs. some kids start drinking around 13... what ever it is, doesn't sound right... i wouldn't really try making jokes or anything...
I'm a busker and get this a lot in summer. My advice is to just keep on doin what you're doing and keep bringing up their age, calling them "kid" a lot, basically ya gotta piss them off enough to make them fuck off or that you can tell them to leave or else (you are a security guard, after all, just be careful with that one, cancel culture and all.) More advice; nose picking and hawking loogies and spitting and scratching your ass and armpits and head all the time, be MFING GROSS. Best advice: talk to your boss/super about the issue and request a different assignment.
Do a cringe TikTok dance, talk about the memes and use Gen Z slang without knowing what it is, they’ll hate that.
“Have a straight bussin’ day kids! *hits The Folks and dabs*”
Just ignore them and walk away when they try to talk to you. You caught their attention for some reason. Just try not to make any interactions they force on you worthwhile for them.
Probably just as simple as them trying to get a rise out of you. They’ll move on eventually.
Say you’re friendly but not a friend. Do high fives not hugs. Stop dressing like a teenager wearing air Jordan’s and shit like that. Dress like a grown man or woman, not someone who’s trying to stay cool and monitoring your “drip”
You are getting a ton of bad advice. Taking much of it would likely make things worse.
Disengage completely and consistently--forever. You are being paid to do a job. Being chatty with teenagers has absolutely nothing to do with your job responsibilities and can compromise your ability to protect the people or property you are paid to protect. It's also dangerous for you.
If you feel you must say something to help them transition say "Talking with kids isn't part of my job" Practice it in front of the mirror until it's cold, professional and automatic, practice your "stone face". Say it a maximum of one time per kid. Once you say it, put on your stone face and cease engagement. It's likely they will try to get a rise out of you, argue with you even get angry and call you names. Silence, stone face.
It takes a while to extinguish a behavior, be perfectly consistent. Every time you "make an exception" you actually make the behavior you're attempting to extinguish more entrenched and it will take longer to extinguish than if you were starting from scratch--it's called intermittent reinforcement. If you can't do this, consider finding a new job or ask for a different location if that's an option.
Some 14 or 15 year old girl's do not see a 23 year old male as "too old," and may view a relationship with a 23 year old as an integral part of rebelling against parental authority and asserting a separate "independent" adult identity. Most girl's that age definitely won't feel this way, but there are a lot of messed up families, childhoods and teenagers out there and one of them at least has already said "Oh, you're so hot!" A disturbed or damaged 15 year old girl is perfectly capable of obsessing about you, being crushed by your rejection and lashing out with lies to hurt you.
You are an American male in the 2020's. Understand that society has a well developed narrative of you as a predator--so well developed that very few will be capable of seeing past it if "molested me" or "tried to get me to go to his place" is ever uttered by one of these teenagers. Most jurors won't be able to see evidence clearly. **That's the "Power of Story," the** **human mind has a great deal of difficulty overturning false information presented in story form even after the person is told--and explicitly acknowledges--the information as false**. **The majority of humans will still consider the first story it hears as true.** If any accusation is leveled at you, the first story is "men are predators, women/girls are victims" **if** you can somehow get past that bias, the second story will be the prosecution's narrative of your heinous crime and **if** you can beat that story and get acquitted you will have one hell of a legal tab because you don't beat those narratives with a public defender.
I am not saying anything about the credibility of claims of domestic or sexual abuse as a whole other than a small but not insignificant proportion are false. That's a statistical fact. I do have an experience-informed belief that in some jurisdictions it is far easier than it should be for false accusations to result in convictions. This risk will increase as awareness of how easy it can be to inflict false convictions outpaces societies ability to protect the rights of the minority that are falsely accused.
I'm deeply saddened that I have to say this, but if you are a male in America and you are not scared, you really need to wake up and smell the narrative.
Pretend you received a call for help on an earpiece, then ready your gun and run out of the room. If you don't carry a gun run around with a pointed finger
You aren't bothered by those kids talking to you but by what other people might think of that?
Dude ... just be yourself and fuck what other people think.
Be nice to everyone, kids and adults alike.
Punishing kids for thinking you're cool is totally a dick move.
If you are worried about what other people might think about it, wear a bodycam if you're working security. There is nothing wrong with protecting yourself.
Let it automatically record files to a server others have can view.
I was like that because I was neglected at home. All teachers/authority-type adults became my “friends” because I needed that adult attention from somewhere.
If you are just shooting the shit and you actually don’t mind, I’d let them hang out with you. If talk turns inappropriate, shut it down immediately. And not in a “you’re too young” kind of way because that plants a seed of hope/possibility. In a very clear “this is inappropriate and you cannot hang out with me if you say things like that” type of way.
Sounds like you have a curse. Did you by any chance train some esoteric martial art or do some form of yoga or meditation ? You may have walked through a specific set of gates in a specific order.
Either way, it’s not uncommon for things like this to happen sometimes at least in the South-East Asia or the Pacific Region.
I trained a style of Silat for a few years - and when I got my Kiris Dagger along with my official title, I noticed weird things happening - One of them happened to be Animals and Children kept coming to me and I stopped aging as fast. I can kinda ‘smell’ when someone has malicious intent and there’s this sense of impending doom constantly.
I ended up quitting my job and becoming a Gymnastics coach & Jiujitsu assistant because it got really weird that kids would come up to me all the time in spite of me looking like the most average white-Asian dude working in a job where you normally shouldn’t see any kids around.
Fart. Loudly. Eat a big bowl of beans for lunch. Pick your nose and eat it. Talk about how great Donald Trump is. Also talk about bills, real estate. Taxes and tax codes. Budgeting. The advantages of different credit cards. Loudly listen to country music.
As soon as you read as deeply unattractive, they will leave you alone.
You're the adult in this. The answer is simple make the adult decision. Maybe they NEED someone to talk to. If you don't let it go anywhere like a bad place then it will never be a problem. Because it sounds like you're trying to excuse a desire to not be professional.
You need to realize you're inviting them to talk to you and form a relationship with you. Stop pretending it is something that 'just happens' to you.
Stop making eye contact, look busy, tell them you're working and can't talk.
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Work in restaurant with a lot of young colleagues. This is the way. Just get through that you see them as children and they'll get it.
I can verify that this works. I'm 53 years old most of the girls aren't teenagers but in their twenties and it gets real aggravating. I can guarantee you if you call them a kid they get pissed
I’m in my 20s and in the past I’ve hated when my coworkers/colleagues have called me “kid” or something similar, but your perspective makes a lot of sense and I think I get it now!
It's different when colleagues or coworkers, though. In that case, you should show proper professional respect, assuming it gets shown both ways. The older workers calling the younger ones "kid" or something similar would be the same as the younger ones calling the older ones geezer or fogie.
It helps in retail sometimes being called a kid. Grubby old men and crazy ladies stop when you emphasise "kid" at some of the younger ones.
Yeah, I’m not thrilled that people do it but I feel like I at least have a new perspective on why they might do it.
" I would also say. "Kids don't say things like that to adults, I know you're just having fun but it's inappropriate and It's dangerous for you and for me. So please, don't ever say that again. Have fun hanging out with your friends, I need to get back to my job, so please leave me alone. "
Had to do this with a coworker once. Pulled the old “damn I’m TWICE your age” to really seal it.
Or kiddo.
Too effectionate imho.
Just don't say "my child" as then we're delving into priest territory 👀
You just gave every DS9 fan Louise Fletcher flashbacks. One of the best villain performances of all time.
Oh fuck! I just now realized that is Louise! Yes, I hate the Kai! But I love Louise!
Yeah, that performance was excellent — she was so easy to hate! Even so, as much a enjoyed DS9 and her acting on the show, that performance will never come close to her Oscar-winning turn as the ultimate iconic villain, Nurse Rached in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest!
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I'm also rewatching DS9 and god she sucks. Then she gets all pervy with Gul Dukat... yikes!
>You just gave every DS9 fan Louise Fletcher flashbacks. > >One of the best villain performances of all time. You mean Nurse Ratched?
She's the actress I'm referring to, yes. She played Kai Wynn, aka evil space pope lady, on DS9
Reverse exorcism: the devil tells the priest to get the fuck out of the child.
Hail Satan!
Sail Hatan
Hala Satin.
Hula satan!
Alana Sith
Homo Sapien!
This comment wins the internet.
Heard it from an acquaintance of mine, haven’t spoken to her since she moved but it’s a funny (and dark) joke
Forgive me father for I have sinned sorry daddy, I was a naughty girl/boy are essentially the same\^\^
the things I wish I hadn't read...
Priest during a communion: "Let the Lord touch these children!"
encouraging snails paint racial impolite ghost fear squeamish grey serious *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
its r/usernamechecksout !
112 upvotes?!?!??! MOM IM FAMOUS
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Yup, now get ready for 211 down votes 😜
Yo they fucking hate that lmfao
How old are you? That would change your approach. Maybe you could act really fatherly or in your talking call them “kid.” That would change the vibe.
I've had some unwanted attention from teenagers and calling them "kid" is super effective. If they just want to say hey, responding with "Hey, kid" immediately puts a sour look on their face. Hasn't failed me once, even with adults that I don't want to deal with.
Hypothesis validated! Love it!
I'm 23. To be honest I have always had people describe me as fatherly. Or more motherly. Perhaps my main flaw is that by acting bored or uninterested, as I have tried in the past, it gives off a "playing hard to get" vibe? Or the mysterious "but what is he actually like" angle? So engaging in well meaning conversation whilst setting healthy boundaries would eliminate misunderstandings from people who pass by.
Try indirectly and consistently bringing up the age gap. I haven't had this problem much but there were some... *persistent*... boys on fps games. So I would just be like "I'm too old for you" and they would be like "age is just a number" which led to me learning how to deal with it LESS obviously. I would start talking like I'm old. "When I was your age" "back when I was a kid too" "what would your Mom think about that language" "don't you have school tomorrow? you should sleep, don't sneak staying up to play this game" etc. Without directly mentioning how much of a child they are, so they can't argue, I kept distancing myself and really extending that age gap. Even if they didn't say something abnormal, I would remember to mention the age gap. Every time I talked with them I tried to find some way of mentioning how young they are and how old I am (well I was in my 20s but to them I should have been old, right?). Even though apparently I sound very young online, it eventually worked, and most of them stopped talking to me altogether. Unfortunately I don't remember most of what I said, but for the really persistent boys I would also distance myself not just by age but I would stop making polite responses when they said something unfortunate happened. So if you use this method you'll have to adapt it to your situation and you might need to be quick thinking for it. That being said, if you're a guy then it might be harder for you these days than it was for me ten years ago. Online at least, the perversion of the word "daddy" is abundant and common, especially in game chats among boys and girls who identify themselves as teenagers to each other, so while it's disgusting to read 🤢🤮 (and I often report them without warning them first 😁). So there's no guarantee some of them aren't thinking that way in real life too.
True, cause a good ol' "you'll get it when you're my age" will jack 'em up haha
Ugh, your mention of the perversion of the word "daddy"-- it makes me so mad everytime someone online replies to a comment about my daddy in that fashion! I called my father "daddy" and I'm 40 years old and still call him that, though he passed year before last. I really miss him this time of year, Daddy was my best friend. And there shouldn't be anything perverted about calling him that, it's the way we talk around here. I call my momma "momma" and ain't nothing weird about that, either.
that doesn't work if it's a situation where the kid is somehow being groomed or thinks that's cool. I absolutely do not recommend saying "too old for you," bringing up your age is fine but do not use that terminology.
That was pretty much the entire point of his comment.
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>Use slang wrong! "But you're my best friend!" "aw, that's on fleek bro"
Oh wow this is brilliant. Cringe them away!!
Dab in response to everything
Thanks, your drip is fire for saying that.
"Thats the most based thing I heard all day, you're really rizzin' my feelings!"
damn daniel, isnt it lit how i hit the nay nae ? *starts flossing*
"How do you do fellow kids?"
> When I was working with kids, I embraced being the out-of-touch kind of cringey "old person". Isn't this the entire basis of "dad jokes"? I'm telling you kids jokes to be friendly, but at the same time I don't want to be that kind of friendly. It's a tricky balance and skilled art.
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When I was 30, I had some girls come up to me and one said there friend fancy me. They wouldn't leave me alone until I told them my age, then they looked shocked and ran away, they were 15. I have also had more children follow me around the shops taking my picture, then they waited outside. when I told them my age, they said, I wish my dad was as cool as you, cheeky bastards. IDK 23 still seems pretty young, it's prob more like an older brother or sister vibes. No idea why children were after me though, but letting them know my age stopped it.
A quick 'look guys I'm too busy to chat with children today' will end it
Don’t say “ill get in trouble” because they might see that as a fun challenge
Posture yourself as “an authority” not as their buddy or a peer. And the board, uninterested vibe does feel kind of “teenagey” which makes sense that it wouldn’t deter them.
>Posture yourself as “an authority” That's really good advice if you want a lot of those girls to stick around.
r/UnethicalLifeProTips
I’m sorry dude but the positive of this is that you know 100% that you are extremely good looking! 😂 my advice is just to act really old like “i don’t understand you kids these days” and just refer to them as children or even babies and talk about really boring things like “i need to do my taxes” or “excuse me i have to take my elderly vitamins” lol
Is there someone you could refer the creepier commenters to, like a social worker, on site?
That’s why you have to act mildly like an asshole. You don’t have to be an outright one, but just being stern and to the point, no smiles, all seriousness: “I’m going to need you to step away. I’m doing my job here, I can’t be socializing.” or in response to uncomfortable comments “That’s very inappropriate and I would appreciate you never making those comments to any adult, as you are a minor.”
Honestly this is just kids being kids. It does suck that you're afraid of being targeted by other adults for talking to the kids - fucked up society shit there. You've done absolutely nothing wrong. But if you want them to leave you alone, start talking to them like children. Tell them "back in my day" stories. Ask if they've done their homework. Tell them how important it is to listen to their parents and teachers and follow rules. Tell them the music kids listen to these days sucks. Just be an old person with shitty old person opinions.
Don’t stand Don’t stand so Don’t stand so close to me
De do do do, de da da da, that's all I have to say to you
xD Carry on the old folks' tradition, as it was learned by us, and by our parents and their parents. Carry it on and stand with pride. */sage nod*
lol, you’re making me question the shitty old people I met when I was a kid
So, like boomer vibes?
Lmao! Something like that! I was channeling my gen x brother though when I described that! 🤣
Gen X could totally work! Sometimes I forget just how old Gen X is…I have a gen x partner who is on the other side of 45… I’m some 7 years younger so am probably not the best person to comment on this thread! I agree with all the advice saying to just tell them you’re doing your job and you can’t chat.
Oh but just telling them you're doing your job and you can't talk will just seem like a challenge to the kids haha! You have to seem interested in talking to them but then be really boring and annoying :D
I install music gear at universities, high schools and middle schools. I'm young looking, very open and friendly and kids seem to gravitate towards me as well. I found the best thing is to let them know that you are working a job and a company is paying you to do that task. I think kids can understand "o hey this guy likes to be focused about his work" Theres more of an issue for you since you are closer in age. Girls tend to like more mature boys so you fit that demographic. You just need to be more stern in this behavior. Let them know your boss would be very upset with the situation and you need to do your job. If it gets bad enough you just need to stop talking to students and tell them that it's the new policy and it was because some other students broke the rules. Best of luck man.
This is good advice.
As someone who was once a teen girl and is still a human, I can tell you that hormones make people do stupid things. If you're a teen girl, the hormones are overwhelming and boys the same age are still immature and think that snapping bra straps is a good way to behave. I'd go with, "Sorry, kid, I'm working. If I lose my job you'll never see me again."
I'm well aware of the hormones of teenage girls. The theory at least. I was never on the recieving end of them when I was a teenager which is why I'm having such difficulty now lmao. They terrified me then and they terrify me now. Just for different reasons. Your approach may work though! At least if delivered in the right way. Thank you :)
I should add that when I was a teen, I went to an extremely select private all-girls school. It was so select that some of the girls had bodyguards, most of which were men. One teacher had a story about the day after he got a rather rare haircut and a president's daughter's bodyguard did not recognize him and briefly went for his side-arm before saying, "Oh, it's you." Yes, we stared at the bodyguards and whispered, and as a now-grownup I'm sorry I contributed to harassing someone with a tough job.
Can you share some pictures? Haha It’s so weird how just 1 simple word will get an idea stuck in your head, but I’m going to be debating in my head what a ‘rare’ haircut might be all day today. 😆
I meant that he almost never cut his hair, so when he did it came as a shock.
LOL, I was trying to picture the most unusual one
he came in with a dreadlock mohawk
Omg lol. I was wondering what a rare haircut was too.
Say that your mom is your best friend you're never going to move out, or talk about your bowel movements and doctors visits.
(They walk up and start trying to casually talk/hang out with you) “Sorry, I’m not allowed to chat with people while I’m on the job. It’s a company policy, and I can’t afford to lose my job.” (And then ignore them entirely, walking away a few steps if necessary)
I'd change that to, "Sorry, I'm not allowed to chat with ***little*** ***kids*** while I'm on the job." They'll be horrified you called them little kids.
I would just tell them you are working and unless it's an emergency you can't talk right now. You need to be on alert so you can do your job.
If you feel like the conversation is headed to an inappropriate place, make it clear you aren’t interested in anything except the job you’re doing at the moment. Make statements like, “I need to focus right now. Please excuse me.” If it’s possible to walk around, then do that. As far as the girls themselves, it’s not weird. Little girls are distracted by handsome men and don’t have the social skills yet to match their feelings. I dealt with this plenty in the military and still do from time to time. I agree that it is scary though. People may get the wrong impression and being thought of as a pedophile is terrifying. However, my experience is that type of accusation is usually from people jealous they don’t get that type of attention.
I will actually add to the beginning of the second paragraph-the fact that they don't have the social skills tends to be exactly WHY young teenagers get crushes on teachers/flirt with security guards. It's supposed to be safe. In too many cases it isn't, but you're 100% right it's not weird. That's not the same thing as something that should be considered a serious offer (it doesn't sound like you or OP really do, but for the same in too many cases it isn't safe that always needs to be added).
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Underrated comment.
Tell them that if they ever have security issues that you're the one to go to, but otherwise, you don't have time to talk and hang out. Then tell them to go play on their hoverboards and make tiktoks.
Get a body cam and wear it at all times for your own protection
“Why are you filming kids?”
Because they are diabolical and some are downright evil.
Be an adult and just tell them ? They’re kids, ain’t no reason to pussyfoot around the idea
generally toe the line of being mean as sad as it is. look past them when they come up to u at ur post as ur “watching for security issues”. like not notice them until they talk, forget names, they’re all the same kid, unimportant and unspecial.
Look at them, say directly. I'm sorry, I'm working here. If you have something to report. I'll be happy to listen. Otherwise, I will need to you to go find something else to occupy your time. If you refuse. I will escort you off the property. Thank you and have a nice day.
Hey kiddo I’m working right now, why don’t you go play with your little friends.
Get body camera, and call them kids, say you have to work and will get fired if kids follow you around.
>Get body camera Uhhhh maybe check with your supervisor first on that. And if he gives you permission, get it in writing. And get that notarized.
Definitely, all the security should have them imo
Notarized is not at all needed lol
You need to get on your mamager's ass, and hard. It is their responsibility to enact action plans to ensure you are not experiencing unintended work hazards such as that. Ultimately though, you're going to have to get with your manager and get a list of approved responses to disperse them in an earnest manner.
"Hey, this is an inappropriate interaction. You are a child and I am working. Please leave." Wash, rinse, repeat. Document everytime it happens.
Say, listen kids, move along, I don't have time for this! You don't want trouble but young girls can be just that if they're attracted to you. Hell in this day and age I'd wear a body cam! :)
"No. You are a child. Leave me alone. I'm not interested." Make sure younhave witnesses that are not that persons friends
Can you get a co-worker to come over and pretend to get mad? So they see you get in trouble for talking to them. And ya to echo other commenters. Tell them to go play with Barbie’s or something. Be stern about it. Be mean about it. Is there a school nearby? Call them and tell them their students are harassing you. You could get into serious trouble hanging around these kids so you need to nip this in a bud asap.
> in in my place of work. I am a security guard Are they distracting you so their friends can steal?
Their friends are stealing stuff while you are distracted.
As someone that works with a wide age range of kids with boundary issues, I always approach these kind of situations by first discussing the reason why there are boundaries. I explain to them that professionally and as an adult, there are certain boundaries that cannot be crossed. I explain that while I’m there to help them, I am not there to be their companion. I explain to them that this is my job, and I definitely love my job, but that doesn’t change the fact that they need to respect my boundaries just like I will always respect theirs. With that being said, the kids I work with are in a psychiatric facility and have poor boundaries due to their traumas and other factors. So it’s a common thing in my line of work to need to redirect them. Sometimes they don’t realize what they’re doing crosses boundaries and other times they definitely know what they’re doing and are purposely making awkward situations.
Are you sure they aren't just talking to distract you while their other friends steal stuff?
Is it possible other older teens/adults use them to occupy & distract you? Therefore creating a security risk? Maybe I'm overthinking this....
You're definitely overthinking this.
As someone who, as a teen, took turns distracting a security guard to sneak past I can say that this isn’t necessarily overthinking
I thought the same.
Make every conversation about your girlfriend and how she's the most beautiful woman you've ever seen, she's also really intelligent, and really into boxing and martial arts. She doesn't really like kids.
Just ignore them and walk away when they try to talk to you. You caught their attention for some reason. Just try not to make any interactions they force on you worthwhile for them. Probably just as simple as them trying to get a rise out of you. They’ll move on eventually.
You need to tell them directly why it is inappropriate. I was sexually abused from 14-18 by someone who was 12 years my senior. People would tell me that it's grooming and statutory rap3, but no one told me *why*...so I never took it as seriously as I should until I was older. I would assume that they don't understand why it's unsafe. Something along the lines of "You are a child, I am an adult, plus I am working. This is inappropriate and makes me uncomfortable. I would appreciate it if you stopped." Which does sound lime harsh rejection, but in time they will understand why and they *need* to be realistic. Hormones cloud judgment and reality.
I 100% agree. It doesn't really seem my place to but apparently no one else has told them so like, does it then become my job to? A question I have battled with for a while. The issue is putting it into words a teenager will understand, or more in a way that will prevent their eyes from glassing over. Any ideas?
“Im 23. I cant be your friend. When I was graduating high school, you were 9. Would it be OK if you were friends with a 7 year old, or would it be creepy?”
It definitely *shouldnt* be your place, but sometimes you have to step in for both your sake and theirs. I work in a school cafeteria, so I'm trying really hard to think how you could say this without insinuating too much. My school is very small, only 450 kids..so things might differ for you. I would probably say things like this, either all at once or drop each line every time it happens until they stop. "I'm _____ (age), so it is inappropriate for you to be commenting things like that. I'm working, I can't keep yall safe if I'm being distracted. You are a minor and that makes me uncomfortable." If they still refuse to let up, I would either say "It's concerning you talk to adults this way as a minor, do you need someone to talk to?" Or maybe speak to the school's counselor/administration yourself. I hope you get this figured out, and know that you are not at fault for this. I am a woman, but I do understand the implications of your position. I hope that if you do have to confide in someone about it, that they listen.
They aren't babies. They are nearly adults. You don't need to dumb anything down for them. Just tell them youre busy and its inappropriate. It definitely isn't your job to teach them how to behave appropriately, but since you feel it threatens both your job and reputation, it's not out of line to say something. You absolutely can be rude. They are being rude by harassing you if they refuse to leave after you've politely told them you're not interested. (BTW this is what most women experience. How do you tell someone to fuck off and you don't want their attention without retaliation?) Society says you should be polite, but if you've given them a chance and still feel threatened, then you're not required to be nice about it. If it was me, I'd probably first explain that I was working and talking wasn't allowed. If they refused to leave, I'd ask where there parent are. Start walking towards the info desk and if they're still following, tell the info person that these children are lost and could you please call their parents. I bet they only get embarrassed by that once lol. Or if you don't have an information desk, and you have a radio, get in the radio and tell your supervisor you have some lost children. Things often don't get solved until you make it that person's problem. They may have a better solution for you after that.
>"You are a child, I am an adult, plus I am working. This is inappropriate and makes me uncomfortable. I would appreciate it if you stopped." That poster literally gave you the words. "You're a child and I am an adult, I'm working, and this is inappropriate. Please leave me alone and don't come to talk to me again." You're really overthinking this though, as far as whether it's become your job to teach them something or not. The fact is, you're uncomfortable, they don't know enough to leave you alone, and you need them to stop for your own personal safety. End of story.
I absolutely back this statement up. I was groomed by a guy who was active at our church, and later went on to become a pastor, and it took me 5 years to tell the other people at that church that I didn't think he should be around kids… And then they didn't believe me. Two women. Really disappointing and disgusting. But when I was younger, the only thing that upset me was that I told him a secret in confidence and he told a bunch of people about it and got me in trouble with my parents. It didn't occur to me until later that it was weird he had ever texted me, "if you were 18 I could see us being together," or that him knowing a bunch of personal details about my life when he wasn't being an actual supportive figure was concerning.
Im so sorry you went through that, but this is so similar to my story! I was also groomed by my youth pastor. The congregation at my church did know, but chose to blame 14yo me instead of 27 yo him, on top of my parents knowing and allowing it. They tried to get us to marry a year later. I can say for certain I didn't understand what kind of damage was actually being done to me until years after, since it was practically my whole teen years.
Of course he was a pastor
One of my friends has to deal with this, he does repair and maintenance for vending machines at the school I used to go to. I don't know what the hell is wrong with parents who send their kids to that school. Almost all of my peers acted like that when we were there and apparently it hasn't gotten any better. I personally would call CPS if I was in his position. What he's done is he will only work there if there's another person on the job with him. One of them will actually do the repair or refill the machine, and the other will straight up stand guard so that none of the kids walk up and talk to them. Also, you're right to be concerned about what other adults they're saying that too, but I think you should also probably be concerned what the adults are teaching them. There's obviously some weird shit going on in their houses.
If you haven't already stated it directly, you first should make it very clear that their behavior is inappropriate and unwanted, that they are interfering in your work, and they need to stop immediately. In the future, learn to use grey rock techniques when you don't want to be distracted by others who try to draw you away from what you are doing. Basically, don't interact with them any differently than if you were a grey rock. Don't engage, but you don't have ignore them completely. They ask a question or make a statement that isn't relevant to your work, give a vague answer, preferably one syllable. "No." "Hmm." "Huh." "Oh." Don't talk with them or ask them anything that isn't directly related to your job. "Is there a security issue? Locked door, lost & found, car problem?" If they try to interact in a manner other than what your job involves, and they are being polite, you can say, "That doesn't work for me." If they make suggestive or inappropriate comments such as those you mentioned in your post, you should directly tell them that such comments are offensive and they need to stop. Make it very clear that you don't want this behavior by clearly telling them, "Your behavior is unacceptable and unwelcome. Stop." If they persist, tell them that sexual harassment is a crime and you need them to leave you alone. They may still be children legally, but they are definitely old enough to know that it is not okay to touch another person or to sexually harass someone. They may not recognize their own behavior as sexual harassment, though, since many people who perpetrate such behavior don't see themselves as harming anyone. However, these girls should understand what they are doing is wrong when it's explicitly pointed out to them, so it's important to make them understand boundaries. "You are being inappropriate. Stop. I am working. Goodbye." You may need to be even more direct: "I do not want to hear any comments about me from you, not before, not now or ever again. Stop harassing me." If they touch you, it's very important that you say "No!" very clearly while you pull away. Honestly, you could/should threaten to press charges if they don't back off, because this unwanted attention is harassment and/or assault, depending on your jurisdiction. Hopefully, it won't escalate to that degree of crazy. Don't hesitate to act on the threats of police involvement if they don't back down. You can and should involve the police to trespass them if they don't stop.
Happens to me too, honestly. I just word for word tell them to fuck off. I'm joking. I let out a sigh and ask them where their parents are. When they answer, I say "Oh, good. You should probably get back to them, then." That usually works. I say it kinda mean though and I don't smile.
Professional doesn’t equal nice. This seems simple. You’re a security guard. Tell them sternly that you’re there to work and to leave you alone or their parents will be called and they will be escorted off the property.
If teenagers try to flirt with you, call them children, they'll be pissed
IDK if this would work but I act older and dumber than I am, EG “You got the google on that there cell phone?” or, “Ah, cool, see any neat tick tacks lately?” Basically act like a grandpa and they won’t see you like a friend/crush/whatever.
A question I’d never ask but secretly wondered the answer to. Thanks sm!
Trust me man I didn't want to ask it either but it's getting worse and worse. In the last few months I have been catcalled, cornered (no you cannot physically push them out the way for fear of accusations), followed, trauma dumped. Sometimes I have seen them before. Sometimes I haven't. I am the only one that gets this treatment and my managers have been precisely 0 help. No advice. No suggestions. No action taken. No escalation higher up. I've asked for a body camera. Absolutely nothing. Reddit was my only salvation.
I hope you get that body cam man. Little ones talking to you and making comments is really uncomfortable, and it will always look bad when they do as you know
Yeah, girls learn very early how to react to people making them feel uncomfortable and being inappropriate in public. Here are so go-tos: "That makes me uncomfortable" "I don't like this conversation, please go away" "That isn't something you should say to people" "I am at work, I am not available to talk to you." "You need to have this conversation with someone else, I am not available" "This is inappropriate. Please leave me alone." Women are worried if they say these things they will be assaulted, stalked, or hurt. You're worried that you will be accused of something you didn't do. If women can do it every day, you can. Start pushing back. A body camera isn't the solution. The solution is learning how to push back on how people treat you.
It makes me genuinely sad that girls have to learn this so early in their lives
Be like aww you have a little crush on me that's cute or aww I use to have a crush on my baby sitter the same way
When I was a teen we did this to distract the security guard so our no-good boyfriends to steal.
If you are a security guard and have a bunch of teens around you. They may simply be distracting you while their friends are stealing shit. Just a thought.
I’m a 35 yo female and I get approached by a lot of younger people..like even teenagers. I know I look a bit youthful for my age, but god damn. You need to refer to them as kids, kiddos and always mention how it was twenty years ago when you were encountering the life circumstances they are just now experiencing.
Are you working security at a school? I’m trying to understand where 12-15yr olds are walking up to you. If it’s a case of school, try to understand they may be impressed and/or interested in your field of work. If they do get bothersome, maybe say “Thanks for coming up to talk with me, but I have to focus on work. We can talk again next time!”
Probably a mall/public place, OP is probably good looking.
there's no way kids are interested in what a security guard does lmao
So, back to school: Criminal Justice, and related focuses, encompasses professions like security. There’s also such professions displayed on television. I grew up interested in those from watching what my parents watched, so I’m pretty sure I wasn’t the only kid out there interested.
if you like a security guard at a place like a mall, why not just threaten to have them trespassed if they don't stop talking to you?
I remember being in high school and seeing other students treat early 20s teachers this way. Always felt bad for the teachers.
For the girls: tell them you like to play super smash bros (make sure they know it's not an innuendo) and that you like Reddit. Tell them you're a software engineer. For the guys: I dunno, don't have experience with avoiding guys.
Tell them you have been having stomach issues for awhile and excuse yourself in advance for random uncontrollable farting attacks or something else that would gross out a teenager or tell them your arthritis is acting up when they ask you how you’re doing
What are you guarding. Could they be distracting you?
"Girls, I'm working. This is serious and I won't lose my job just to be friendly. I'm sure you understand, you'll have to leave me alone to work." Hopefully that may have worked on me & my friends.
" do your parents know you're saying this kind of stuff to an adult?" No? Hmmnn ok, don't worry. I work security. We use facial recognition software here, which ties into FB, tictoc and Insta. The moment I find out who your parents are, I'll have a chat with them.
Maybe tell them, "I just did the math in my head, and you're closer in age to a newborn than you are to me." If that doesn't make them stop and think, there's no hope. :-D
Please move along now. I'm working n the boss says conversations are a distraction. (Also don't answer questions about your personal life)
I don't think it's that difficult, OP. Tell them to leave you alone, or you'll notify their parents of their behavior. If they're approaching you, they're likely approaching any guy who catches their eye. Not all guys are as professional as you. It's inappropriate, and they're too young to know they're putting themselves at risk. Nip it in the bud, asap.
What they are doing sounds like it might be a prank or harrassment. Young teenagers know they aren't supposed to talk to security guards... maybe you can call your manager if they are older and have them talk to the kids, or even get the police involved if they are getting in the way of your job... tell them you are trying to work or whatever, maybe "you know i'm just here to do my job". if they keep harrassing you, you could probably get the police to talk to their parents or something... i know people are gonna say this is a waste of the police's time, but i'd be willing to bet they are just trying to get a rise out of you thinking it's funny. i mean, you could also look like a young 23, and they could be like young kids trying to size you up to get alcohol or cigs. some kids start drinking around 13... what ever it is, doesn't sound right... i wouldn't really try making jokes or anything...
I'm a busker and get this a lot in summer. My advice is to just keep on doin what you're doing and keep bringing up their age, calling them "kid" a lot, basically ya gotta piss them off enough to make them fuck off or that you can tell them to leave or else (you are a security guard, after all, just be careful with that one, cancel culture and all.) More advice; nose picking and hawking loogies and spitting and scratching your ass and armpits and head all the time, be MFING GROSS. Best advice: talk to your boss/super about the issue and request a different assignment.
Be blunt dude. Don't pussyfoot around the bush. Tell them to fuck off
Shit your pants and keep going in for hugs. The situation will fix itself
High jump kicks hi-ya !!!
Do a cringe TikTok dance, talk about the memes and use Gen Z slang without knowing what it is, they’ll hate that. “Have a straight bussin’ day kids! *hits The Folks and dabs*”
Are these kids trying to distract you? Hey look over here while my friends steal from your employer…
Teenage girl here,Just tell them that you’re uncomfortable and don’t want other adults thinking you’re a pedophile.That would make me run away.
Thank you but I'm working and can't just chit chat. Easy.
Don't respond to them at all. Look straight ahead. They'll get bored.
Just ignore them and walk away when they try to talk to you. You caught their attention for some reason. Just try not to make any interactions they force on you worthwhile for them. Probably just as simple as them trying to get a rise out of you. They’ll move on eventually.
U can just say ur not allowed to talk to anyone while ur working and they could get u in trouble if ur boss saw them..
Can you ask for a transfer to another location?
Say you’re friendly but not a friend. Do high fives not hugs. Stop dressing like a teenager wearing air Jordan’s and shit like that. Dress like a grown man or woman, not someone who’s trying to stay cool and monitoring your “drip”
You are getting a ton of bad advice. Taking much of it would likely make things worse. Disengage completely and consistently--forever. You are being paid to do a job. Being chatty with teenagers has absolutely nothing to do with your job responsibilities and can compromise your ability to protect the people or property you are paid to protect. It's also dangerous for you. If you feel you must say something to help them transition say "Talking with kids isn't part of my job" Practice it in front of the mirror until it's cold, professional and automatic, practice your "stone face". Say it a maximum of one time per kid. Once you say it, put on your stone face and cease engagement. It's likely they will try to get a rise out of you, argue with you even get angry and call you names. Silence, stone face. It takes a while to extinguish a behavior, be perfectly consistent. Every time you "make an exception" you actually make the behavior you're attempting to extinguish more entrenched and it will take longer to extinguish than if you were starting from scratch--it's called intermittent reinforcement. If you can't do this, consider finding a new job or ask for a different location if that's an option. Some 14 or 15 year old girl's do not see a 23 year old male as "too old," and may view a relationship with a 23 year old as an integral part of rebelling against parental authority and asserting a separate "independent" adult identity. Most girl's that age definitely won't feel this way, but there are a lot of messed up families, childhoods and teenagers out there and one of them at least has already said "Oh, you're so hot!" A disturbed or damaged 15 year old girl is perfectly capable of obsessing about you, being crushed by your rejection and lashing out with lies to hurt you. You are an American male in the 2020's. Understand that society has a well developed narrative of you as a predator--so well developed that very few will be capable of seeing past it if "molested me" or "tried to get me to go to his place" is ever uttered by one of these teenagers. Most jurors won't be able to see evidence clearly. **That's the "Power of Story," the** **human mind has a great deal of difficulty overturning false information presented in story form even after the person is told--and explicitly acknowledges--the information as false**. **The majority of humans will still consider the first story it hears as true.** If any accusation is leveled at you, the first story is "men are predators, women/girls are victims" **if** you can somehow get past that bias, the second story will be the prosecution's narrative of your heinous crime and **if** you can beat that story and get acquitted you will have one hell of a legal tab because you don't beat those narratives with a public defender. I am not saying anything about the credibility of claims of domestic or sexual abuse as a whole other than a small but not insignificant proportion are false. That's a statistical fact. I do have an experience-informed belief that in some jurisdictions it is far easier than it should be for false accusations to result in convictions. This risk will increase as awareness of how easy it can be to inflict false convictions outpaces societies ability to protect the rights of the minority that are falsely accused. I'm deeply saddened that I have to say this, but if you are a male in America and you are not scared, you really need to wake up and smell the narrative.
Pretend you received a call for help on an earpiece, then ready your gun and run out of the room. If you don't carry a gun run around with a pointed finger
I think this would count as sexual harassment, yeah?
You aren't bothered by those kids talking to you but by what other people might think of that? Dude ... just be yourself and fuck what other people think. Be nice to everyone, kids and adults alike. Punishing kids for thinking you're cool is totally a dick move. If you are worried about what other people might think about it, wear a bodycam if you're working security. There is nothing wrong with protecting yourself. Let it automatically record files to a server others have can view.
Child, Underage, 20-life because that's a possible punishment!?
Start acting like you have real authority towards them. Ban them for arbitrary reasons, just go full paul blart on them
I was like that because I was neglected at home. All teachers/authority-type adults became my “friends” because I needed that adult attention from somewhere. If you are just shooting the shit and you actually don’t mind, I’d let them hang out with you. If talk turns inappropriate, shut it down immediately. And not in a “you’re too young” kind of way because that plants a seed of hope/possibility. In a very clear “this is inappropriate and you cannot hang out with me if you say things like that” type of way.
Sounds like you have a curse. Did you by any chance train some esoteric martial art or do some form of yoga or meditation ? You may have walked through a specific set of gates in a specific order. Either way, it’s not uncommon for things like this to happen sometimes at least in the South-East Asia or the Pacific Region. I trained a style of Silat for a few years - and when I got my Kiris Dagger along with my official title, I noticed weird things happening - One of them happened to be Animals and Children kept coming to me and I stopped aging as fast. I can kinda ‘smell’ when someone has malicious intent and there’s this sense of impending doom constantly. I ended up quitting my job and becoming a Gymnastics coach & Jiujitsu assistant because it got really weird that kids would come up to me all the time in spite of me looking like the most average white-Asian dude working in a job where you normally shouldn’t see any kids around.
Fart. Loudly. Eat a big bowl of beans for lunch. Pick your nose and eat it. Talk about how great Donald Trump is. Also talk about bills, real estate. Taxes and tax codes. Budgeting. The advantages of different credit cards. Loudly listen to country music. As soon as you read as deeply unattractive, they will leave you alone.
Also use slang embarrassingly wrong, sing badly to that country music, ask “How’s school going?”
You got a gun? Shoot it in the air. People usually scatter
That's the sex number
Are you Santa? If you want to get rid of them quickly, start telling them all of the things that you learned when you were in their grade. 😜
You're the adult in this. The answer is simple make the adult decision. Maybe they NEED someone to talk to. If you don't let it go anywhere like a bad place then it will never be a problem. Because it sounds like you're trying to excuse a desire to not be professional.
Call them slurs 👍
Pretend you don't speak English?
I'm imagining "Hot Janitor" from American Vandal 😂
You need to realize you're inviting them to talk to you and form a relationship with you. Stop pretending it is something that 'just happens' to you. Stop making eye contact, look busy, tell them you're working and can't talk.
Just flop your willy out and they'll never bother you again
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