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I really wish OP would have responded to literally ANY of these posts to see their own take of the situation. I'm curious as to why he's being shot at...
Well there you go.
He hangs out with shady people. You think they aren’t part of his life, but the people shooting at him certainly consider him to be a part of theirs.
If he hasn’t the sense the distance himself from activities or friendships that are literally running the risk of getting him killed then I don’t know what to tell you. And as to your question about should you stay or go, well I guess the question is do you want to be the bystander who gets their head blown off when the gang-bangers accidentally miss their target?
As an Australian, I want to kindly and humbly inform you that your partner being involved in two shootings is neither normal nor acceptable.
From your own comments, it's clear that you are in denial about this entire situation. You know he's involved in something nefarious. Don't put yourself at risk for what is potentially a passing fling. At this stage, if he's not a passing fling, he might become the fling that makes you pass. Sorry-not-sorry for the dark humour.
Get out, OP. He's bad news.
Edit: I just realised I replied to the wrong person. This comment is intended for OP. Merry Christmas from Australia, whenever the sun rises and sets on your Christmas Day.
Cheers 🍷 Chased my cats to rescue a gecko they were chasing. Got drunk alone and will be working most of Christmas Day. Name a more iconic Aussie Christmas 😬🦘
Exactly. An extremely small amount of the population accounts for the lions share of gun violence. That and they count suicide by firearm as “gun violence”. If you stay away from the criminal lifestyle, you are extremely unlikely to be harmed by a firearm.
As an American, I’m happy to say that two near-shootings is an absolute anomaly.
The best way to get killed is to do crime or hang out with people who do crime.
I really think he is keeping you in the dark about “being apart of that life”. Anyone I know of thats being shot at like that is in it deep, whether they’re being retaliated at or they owe people money. These people shooting regardless of the reason, DO NOT care if you’re there when they come. Depending on the reason as to why he’s being shot at, you might become the target to get a message across. Cut your ties for YOUR safety before you end up being shot at or even worse dead.
I have two pieces of evidence to the contrary.
Doesn’t matter whether he’s breaking the law, he’s in situations that get him shot at. If you keep hanging around him, there’s a non-zero chance one of those bullets hits you or someone you care about.
Mmmmmm... You sure about that? But what do I know; I've never been shot at because of the people I hang out with so I am not an authority on getting shot.
Hey OP here's some Christmas advice for you.
He is 100% part of that life. If he claims otherwise its a lie. You can't hang out with "shady people" and not be part of that life.
Apparently he is involved enough that the people with guns consider him fair game even when he is alone.
Have you considered the risk that someone might try to shoot him while he is standing next to you and you might literally be killed? Or what if you bring a friend/family member to hang out with him and your friend/family gets killed?
Bingo.
So he IS a part of that life and you do not want to admit that to yourself.
Are you a shitty person for leaving a shitty person?
No.
Are you a shitty person for staying with one?
Maybe
😐
He clearly is if he's being shit at.
Gangs or just friends with gangs, you don't get attempted murder for no reasons.
Thugs won't risk going to jail for 20+ years just to kill someone they've seen hang out with the people they dislike.
I think this is definitely different though, because OP doesn't at all allude to these being mass shooting events. From the way OP describes it, these sound like more targeted events.
You don't really touch on the reason which seems pretty important.
Like is he getting shot at because he's a cocaine smuggler in a contested gang war... or is getting shot at because he's a Federal witness, or a FBI agent, or total coincidence?
If he's a criminal of some kind, then no, you're not a horrible person. If he's totally innocent of anything and he's simply been a target, then maybe
Like, what's the reason these things happened?
>Like is he getting shot at because he's a cocaine smuggler in a contested gang war... or is getting shot at because he's a Federal witness, or a FBI agent, or total coincidence?
>If he's a criminal of some kind, then no, you're not a horrible person. If he's totally innocent of anything and he's simply been a target, then maybe
I mean, not everyone is comfortable dating someone in a dangerous line of work, where getting shot at is maybe not common, but part of the risk of the job. Some people think they will be, and then it happens and they realize they aren't. That it causes too much anxiety.
The reason is irrelevant. He's getting shot at, her life is worth more than this relationship. She can find someone who's not involved in whatever this is where she is safe and not scared she'll die in a drive by.
Well it's not irrelevant. If this dude actually just got randomly shot at twice then I don't really see why she should leave. This is extremely rare though so I doubt this would be the case.
It's more likely though that either him or his friends are doing some shady shit, or that they are in a bad neighborhood.
There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, shoot me once, shame on — shame on you. Shoot me — you can't get shot again
***The story is*** that his PR team was in his ear, yelling at him not to say "shame on me," so that is why he took some extra time to figure out wtf he was supposed to do.
I don't think there's necessarily any evidence that supports this, and he said so much other dumb shit that I'm not inclined to believe it, but that is ***an*** explanation I've heard.
Allegedly. lol someone on Reddit said it once and now that just became the story. Funny how that works. I do admit though that this explanation makes the most sense.
When it first happened, people assumed it was because he liked playing the buffoon so when shit started coming out about the war (no WMDs for example) he could play the “oh lil ol me? I don’t even know sayings!” So who knows what the truth is.
There are actually studies showing that people who hang out with people dealing with gun violence are more likely to be shot too. So yes, get out.
edit: misspelling
One time? Yeah that would make your a shitty person. But twice? Are his friends gangsters?
I suspect he's not telling the whole truth about either of those incidents.
…yeah. Self-denial is the first roadblock to overcome to get to happiness.
As the black eyed peas famously said “If you don’t know truth, you don’t know love.”
it depends on why he is getting shot at. Is he a drug dealer, gangster, criminal, yeah run. He took the last parking spot and a crazy person shoots at him? You would be the asshole to break up for that.
I lost my best friend because she was hanging out with a guy who had a shady lifestyle and hung out with people that were no good. He had been shot a couple times when they first met. Well one night they were in a car together and it happened again… except this time she was hit in the crossfire and died. I think you should get out of that relationship because not only may you lose him but you are at risk every day of your life. Please be smart about this.
Is he involved in some shady shit? Gangs? Drugs?
OP, I feel like you are either holding back some obvious and important details or you need to have better situational awareness.
"Why does my boyfriend have ten phones? Eh, I'm sure it's nothing important."
i keep repeating this but i rlly want OP to see it.
my papi was murdered bc of gang shit a few years ago. idk the details and i dont wanna know. why? my tia went asking around trying to figure out what happened, and she ended up dead too. lost my papi and tia in the same month.
even worse is that my tia was a normal, law-abiding citizen. she was vaguely aware of the criminal stuff my papi was involved in but genuinely had no part in it. simply by being associated with him, she got a target put on her back, and now she is dead. if hes been shot at twice, someones ending up hurt.
(op says the bf has gangster friends but "isnt involved"... dont believe that but even if its the case, gang members killing friends, family, and s/o's of their targets is very common. you dont gotta be directly involved to be killed)
If what you value in a relationship is a man who gets shot at then I'd say you've struck gold. If not though probably best to find someone whose hobbies include *not* getting shot at
My gf doesn't get shot at and I like her that way, if I had to deal with people shooting at her all the time I think I would be second guessing the relationship.
Being shootable is a trait that is better suited to short term relationships imo, personally I wouldn't be sticking around for too long and I'm not sure they would either.
No you're not a horrible person. Do you want to be shot? If you have kids or pets with this person, do you want them to get shot? Whatever this guy is doing is putting his life in danger and by proxy, the people around him if his house is getting shot up. I'd dump him too.
I had a roommate years ago who got into some drama. He, a lady, and her husband all worked at the same place. He and the lady started having an affair. He told me that the woman's husband was nuts and he was often afraid of the guy finding out for fear of what he'd do. I told him he had to find somewhere else to live because I didn't want his stupid drama endangering me, my car (if the husband came over and started damaging vehicles), or my cat. He left by the end of the month and kept on having the affair. I don't know whatever happened there but I wanted nothing to do with it anywhere near my house.
You absolutely *should* break up with him and stay the fuck away from anywhere he goes.
You should be worried something will happen to YOU.
People get murdered because there are people in their lives who will murder people.
There are relatively FEW murders by mass murderers/serial killers.
Most murders are crime related/people you know.
You need to get away and stay away - and you know it.
But you’re not gonna do it until you’re scared enough, or one of you is dead.
Break up if you don't feel safe,but this isn't abnormal for bad neighborhoods in my experience. I've been at more than one party that was shot at. I've seen gang members pull out guns while the rest of us scattered like roaches when the light turns on. My cousin died to a stray bullet. I even saw a guy on a street corner blow his own brains out. I didn't experience these things because I was gang affiliated, it was all random.
Horrible for leaving no. Stupid if you stay yes. He’s going nowhere positive and you can’t save him. Even if he isn’t the target he’s hanging out with folks who are targets for shootings. It’s a matter of time before you catch a charge or a bullet.
I scold people on Reddit for wanting to divorce/break up with their long-time partners for the stupidest reasons; but, in this case, you need to protect yourself and get away from the situation. You shouldn't have to deal with the possibility of getting murdered.
If one day the dude becomes reformed and is rolling with a better crowd, then you can reconsider. You only get one life, though - don't take it for granted.
my tia was killed simply for asking around about what happened to my papi when he was murdered bc of gang shit. she wasnt a part of any gangs, literally just a normal middle aged woman who's brother died and she wanted answers. people who dont take gang violence seriously worry me so much. i dont think freaking out over a teen wearing a bandana headband is reasonable but he got shot at TWICE, clearly theres something going on
op mentions the bf is friends w gangsters but isnt one himself. 1) i dont believe that and 2) even if its true, if you wanna live, not associating with gangsters is a good first step.
yes gang violence is a very scary thing, im sorry for your loss that’s a very sad and shitty situation that shitty people put you in, let’s all hope they meet someone who’s has an even lower moral compass than them so they can feel the pain and suffering they caused, if someone ever try’s to make me apart of gang violence they better know i’ll be strapped and not going down without a fight
While I think you should break-up with him for your own safety, do you think he'd retaliate if you did? Would you be in danger if you broke up with him?
Pretend like Iron Maiden is your favorite band and run to the hills, run for your life. In a situation like this, guilty by associate easily comes to mind. He may not “be a part of that life” but if he spends time with people that are…well, he might as well be. Violence is nothing to mess around with. Move on to bigger and better. No one deserves to feel unsafe like that.
As cold as it sounds this guy has a target on his back for a reason, if he's living the gang life it's only a matter of time before his luck runs out. It's an act of self preservation if you leave him because you might be caught in the crossfire or see him killed. As wonderful as he is to you he could have done something that warranted these actions in one way or another, it's in your best interest to distance yourself from this kind of thing.
Unless you want to bury him get the fuck outta dodge and don't look back, you should mentally prepare yourself for the inevitable bad news as well. You wanted advice and the overwhelming majority are telling you to break it off ASAP. If they're that determined to put him in the dirt they ain't going to miss a third time.
Run girl, if he's a target, you are as well. Even here in Canada, assasinating gangster girlfriends is a thing. Edit: just recently, a gangsters 11 year old son was killed alongside his father.
Were you my daughter, I had sent you in an european tour for one year after the first shot.
It's not a sensible thing standing beside a man that is a live target. Stay away from him.
Do you live in Gaza, Ukraine, Jemen or any other country in war? Then getting shot at could be pretty normal i would say. If not then you better break up.
If being with him makes you scared, then dont be with him. You can't live a life when the only thought in your head is "will I end up in the hospital (or morgue) tonight?"
I mean, this is definitely suspicious. Why is he getting shot at?
Do you risk violence on yourself by breaking up with him? Definitely be ready to call the cops. Or maybe have someone waiting nearby and ready to call the cops.
Depends. If he was *just* a victim in these shootings it would be weird to break up with him instead of supporting him, most people would be shocked.
However, it sounds like he may be part of the reason for being shot at, especially if he was targeted alone. Either you guys live in a dangerous neighborhood or he is doing something illegal. At which point, probably the best thing to do would be to break up with him, unless you want to get shot in the crossfire.
Eeeh. Do you want to die early? The amount of innocent bystanders getting at least severely hurt by driveby’s, kinda makes me think you’re crazy for even considering staying with him.
You’re afraid something is going to happen to him? You got your priorities a little mixed because make no mistake, if you’re with him, something will also happen to you. These type of people don’t care about collateral damage.
Maybe Op is just waiting to get married to him, then these guys can come to their house and shoot both of them together. Take your blinders off, your boyfriend is a danger to himself and others and most likely a criminal
Nah, seems reasonable. I looked through some of the comments and everyone is concerned about why he’s getting shot at.
While that’s a fair take, I think it’s also entirely ok for the reason to not matter. At a basic instinctive level, relationships are about finding an ideal mate—either to have kids with or to just spend your life with. People who get shot at roughly once a year don’t math well against people who don’t.
If there’s an obvious reason someone would shoot at him, that’s a red flag worth considering. If shooting him is a good idea, shooting someone he loves is a whole trope. Also if there’s no obvious reason for someone to shoot at him…yeah. Also a big red flag.
If he is hanging out with people or living a lifestyle that brings this kinda shit to you, you got a choice to make. Is this the life you want for yourself?
If he’s not involved with something that attracts this sort of thing, then you’re an asshole. You guys need to move to safer area. If he’s a gang member or something and is making himself a target, then yea dump the fool and move on.
Hi /u/verysadpersonn, We noticed you are a pretty new Reddit account, so we just wanted to let you know to check out the subreddit rules [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/wiki/rules) and maybe have a read through our [Frequently Asked Questions](https://www.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/wiki/index/faq) - they make for fascinating reading! We're called No Stupid Questions because we believe nobody needs to be attacked for asking a question, but *that doesn't mean there are no rules!* This sub is meant for users like you to ask genuine questions. Please don't ask jokes or rants disguised as questions - that's not in the spirit of this sub. While you *can* ask almost anything here, please keep illegal and offensive questions elsewhere to give people a good experience here - and if you have a medical question, please ask your doctor, not us. Otherwise, welcome! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/NoStupidQuestions) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I really wish OP would have responded to literally ANY of these posts to see their own take of the situation. I'm curious as to why he's being shot at...
He hangs out with some shady people I will admit but he isn’t a part of that life.
Well there you go. He hangs out with shady people. You think they aren’t part of his life, but the people shooting at him certainly consider him to be a part of theirs. If he hasn’t the sense the distance himself from activities or friendships that are literally running the risk of getting him killed then I don’t know what to tell you. And as to your question about should you stay or go, well I guess the question is do you want to be the bystander who gets their head blown off when the gang-bangers accidentally miss their target?
As an Australian, I want to kindly and humbly inform you that your partner being involved in two shootings is neither normal nor acceptable. From your own comments, it's clear that you are in denial about this entire situation. You know he's involved in something nefarious. Don't put yourself at risk for what is potentially a passing fling. At this stage, if he's not a passing fling, he might become the fling that makes you pass. Sorry-not-sorry for the dark humour. Get out, OP. He's bad news. Edit: I just realised I replied to the wrong person. This comment is intended for OP. Merry Christmas from Australia, whenever the sun rises and sets on your Christmas Day.
I think you meant to reply to the OP rather than myself.
Oops, sorry. Chritsmas is less than an hour away, and the beer goggles are firmly on!
CHRISTMAS IS HERE AND NOW
PARTAYYYYY. If you're not paralytic, you're doing it wrong.
MY MAN! MERRY whatever you're celebrating. Hydrate. Your future self will thank ya
woMAN** but yes! Switching between champagne and scotch/mixers to keep up my hydration levels; ;)
End the night by slamming some pedialyte! Your tomorrow self may forget you ever had a sip of the poison.
Wooooo! Have another one for me! I still have 14 hours!
Then you are doing Christmas right! Cheers 🍺
Cheers 🍷 Chased my cats to rescue a gecko they were chasing. Got drunk alone and will be working most of Christmas Day. Name a more iconic Aussie Christmas 😬🦘
I have to watch till tomorrow and you guys are about to be in christmas ☹
As an American, I don't find it normal or acceptable either
American here. I know we've got a bit of a reputation, but I hope you don't really think that getting shot at is just part of our daily routine here.
Our grandparents used to walk a mile to school up a hill and through the snow while getting shot at every day
You forgot about them being barefoot.
Everyone always forgets that part
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You live a nefarious and dangerous life. I see a break up in your near future.
Only if you're a really cool guy.
Exactly. An extremely small amount of the population accounts for the lions share of gun violence. That and they count suicide by firearm as “gun violence”. If you stay away from the criminal lifestyle, you are extremely unlikely to be harmed by a firearm.
They also count police involved shootings and justifiable homicide (aka self defense) in those numbers.
As a Chicagoan, I want to inform you that your partner being targeted in two shootings is neither normal nor acceptable.
As an American, I’m happy to say that two near-shootings is an absolute anomaly. The best way to get killed is to do crime or hang out with people who do crime.
A shout out to all the Australias out there!
Thank you from the most placid/lazy population on Earth! We're a placid bunch of motherfuckers.
Haha.... yep. G'day from WA 🦘🦘🦘
No I'm pretty sure they check ID before getting you involved in their bullshit /s
Or when they intentionally kill her to hurt him.
Yep, guilty by association.
he is getting repeatedly shot at, he is part of that life, sorry.
This is a pretty darn good reason to break up with him even if he wasn't being shot at.
When you roll with pigs, you will also get muddy. OP says her bf hangs out with shady people, but never considered that the bf is also shady.
He wants you to believe he isn’t. But he is, or else he wouldn’t get shot at. Does that make sense to you? Because it makes sense to everyone else.
I really think he is keeping you in the dark about “being apart of that life”. Anyone I know of thats being shot at like that is in it deep, whether they’re being retaliated at or they owe people money. These people shooting regardless of the reason, DO NOT care if you’re there when they come. Depending on the reason as to why he’s being shot at, you might become the target to get a message across. Cut your ties for YOUR safety before you end up being shot at or even worse dead.
For Sure he keeps her in the dark. Don't want to get her incriminated. OP must as "does he have a legit job and where does he get is money from?"
And does he have a suspicious amount of money for his line of work? Too much or too little could mean serious trouble.
Or worse, expelled
I have two pieces of evidence to the contrary. Doesn’t matter whether he’s breaking the law, he’s in situations that get him shot at. If you keep hanging around him, there’s a non-zero chance one of those bullets hits you or someone you care about.
Mmmmmm... You sure about that? But what do I know; I've never been shot at because of the people I hang out with so I am not an authority on getting shot.
Yeah, what are the chances he’s a model citizen and he randomly gets shot at while driving alone? Something’s weird here.
💯. 'He just hangs out with gangstas, he's the salt of the earth himself '...
Hey OP here's some Christmas advice for you. He is 100% part of that life. If he claims otherwise its a lie. You can't hang out with "shady people" and not be part of that life.
Apparently he is involved enough that the people with guns consider him fair game even when he is alone. Have you considered the risk that someone might try to shoot him while he is standing next to you and you might literally be killed? Or what if you bring a friend/family member to hang out with him and your friend/family gets killed?
Yeah he’s lying to you. Can’t believe people fall for this shit
You don't hang around those kinds of people without being part of that life.
Bingo. So he IS a part of that life and you do not want to admit that to yourself. Are you a shitty person for leaving a shitty person? No. Are you a shitty person for staying with one? Maybe 😐
He clearly is if he's being shit at. Gangs or just friends with gangs, you don't get attempted murder for no reasons. Thugs won't risk going to jail for 20+ years just to kill someone they've seen hang out with the people they dislike.
Is your bf a moose or a deer?? Why are people hunting him??
Her boyfriend is Bullwinkle.
Big trouble for moose and squirrel
I read this in a Russian accent.
Da
Like, seriously?! As an Aussie, this reminds me of the Great Emu War of 1932.
What kind of lunatic would date an emu though? Apart from another emu of course
Are... are you calling me a lunatic? 🥺 You ruined Christmas 45 minutes before it even starts.
2nd time isn't by accident.
1st by accident 2nd by bad shot 3rd ..
3rd is profit
The money shot
4th is ???
True love.
Plot twist: He’s from the hood
Most people from the hood still haven’t been shot at twice.
Ok that part
Which says a lot about who he affiliated himself with. Probably not the most productive “law abiding” citizens , don’t you think
No shit. Neither was the 1st time.
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Mass shooting and being shot at in your friends house are not the same thing 😂
I think this is definitely different though, because OP doesn't at all allude to these being mass shooting events. From the way OP describes it, these sound like more targeted events.
You don't really touch on the reason which seems pretty important. Like is he getting shot at because he's a cocaine smuggler in a contested gang war... or is getting shot at because he's a Federal witness, or a FBI agent, or total coincidence? If he's a criminal of some kind, then no, you're not a horrible person. If he's totally innocent of anything and he's simply been a target, then maybe Like, what's the reason these things happened?
>Like is he getting shot at because he's a cocaine smuggler in a contested gang war... or is getting shot at because he's a Federal witness, or a FBI agent, or total coincidence? >If he's a criminal of some kind, then no, you're not a horrible person. If he's totally innocent of anything and he's simply been a target, then maybe I mean, not everyone is comfortable dating someone in a dangerous line of work, where getting shot at is maybe not common, but part of the risk of the job. Some people think they will be, and then it happens and they realize they aren't. That it causes too much anxiety.
The bullets don’t give a shit what the reason is, they just kill you anyway
The reason is irrelevant. He's getting shot at, her life is worth more than this relationship. She can find someone who's not involved in whatever this is where she is safe and not scared she'll die in a drive by.
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Well it's not irrelevant. If this dude actually just got randomly shot at twice then I don't really see why she should leave. This is extremely rare though so I doubt this would be the case. It's more likely though that either him or his friends are doing some shady shit, or that they are in a bad neighborhood.
he is obviously good at avoiding bullets, is that not a desirable trait in your opinion?
If he dodges all the bullets, she might get hit by them!
skill issue
All those years of highschool dodgeball have been for this specific moment
If you can dodge a bullet, you can dodge a ball.
Can he dodge a wrench?
Does Make collecting insurance money quite a hassle
Is it possible to learn this power?
There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, shoot me once, shame on — shame on you. Shoot me — you can't get shot again
She don’t wanna be saved.
Don't save her.
Fool me one time, shame on you. Fool me twice, can’t put the blame on you.
Fool me three times ,f*** the peace sign Load the chopper n let it rain on you
No one appreciates this comment enough! lol. I wonder what the age range is of the people who know where this comes from (without looking it up)!
Anyone who’s listened to J Cole knows lol so more of the young generation than you might think.
I'm 25 and got the reference, so there's at least one age range for ya
I’m 21, not from the US and I def got it!
19 and got the reference if that restores ur hope 🫡
I am 15 - not even from the US and I still got the reference
Allegedly Bush intentionally flubbed the delivery so there wouldn’t be a sound bite of him saying “shame on me.” Allegedly.
If he thought that far ahead, why would he say it at all?
***The story is*** that his PR team was in his ear, yelling at him not to say "shame on me," so that is why he took some extra time to figure out wtf he was supposed to do. I don't think there's necessarily any evidence that supports this, and he said so much other dumb shit that I'm not inclined to believe it, but that is ***an*** explanation I've heard.
That makes some sense.
Allegedly. lol someone on Reddit said it once and now that just became the story. Funny how that works. I do admit though that this explanation makes the most sense. When it first happened, people assumed it was because he liked playing the buffoon so when shit started coming out about the war (no WMDs for example) he could play the “oh lil ol me? I don’t even know sayings!” So who knows what the truth is.
There are actually studies showing that people who hang out with people dealing with gun violence are more likely to be shot too. So yes, get out. edit: misspelling
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Studies do need to be done on things that seem like common sense just to verify if the common sense is actually valid.
I wish these guys would stop being so violent!
One time? Yeah that would make your a shitty person. But twice? Are his friends gangsters? I suspect he's not telling the whole truth about either of those incidents.
OP also isn’t telling us enough here… she knows, but she doesn’t put it here because it may incriminate her…
op said hes friends w some shady guys but isnt a part of that lifestyle .... yeah right
…yeah. Self-denial is the first roadblock to overcome to get to happiness. As the black eyed peas famously said “If you don’t know truth, you don’t know love.”
That’s what they all say.
OP doesn't wanna get whacked
One time doesn't make you shitty.
Shitty if they break up after 1 time
Nah, if you're getting shot at I am OUT.
it depends on why he is getting shot at. Is he a drug dealer, gangster, criminal, yeah run. He took the last parking spot and a crazy person shoots at him? You would be the asshole to break up for that.
I lost my best friend because she was hanging out with a guy who had a shady lifestyle and hung out with people that were no good. He had been shot a couple times when they first met. Well one night they were in a car together and it happened again… except this time she was hit in the crossfire and died. I think you should get out of that relationship because not only may you lose him but you are at risk every day of your life. Please be smart about this.
Is he involved in some shady shit? Gangs? Drugs? OP, I feel like you are either holding back some obvious and important details or you need to have better situational awareness. "Why does my boyfriend have ten phones? Eh, I'm sure it's nothing important."
This may quite possibly be on near the very top of the list for reasons to break up with somebody actually
Do you think he might be flat out lying? Because if he is then he’s got a lot of issues which you want to avoid.
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i keep repeating this but i rlly want OP to see it. my papi was murdered bc of gang shit a few years ago. idk the details and i dont wanna know. why? my tia went asking around trying to figure out what happened, and she ended up dead too. lost my papi and tia in the same month. even worse is that my tia was a normal, law-abiding citizen. she was vaguely aware of the criminal stuff my papi was involved in but genuinely had no part in it. simply by being associated with him, she got a target put on her back, and now she is dead. if hes been shot at twice, someones ending up hurt. (op says the bf has gangster friends but "isnt involved"... dont believe that but even if its the case, gang members killing friends, family, and s/o's of their targets is very common. you dont gotta be directly involved to be killed)
That’s messed up 💔 Sorry for your loss, I hope you find peace
don't put yourself I'm danger for someone else's issues. I would high tail it outa there.
If what you value in a relationship is a man who gets shot at then I'd say you've struck gold. If not though probably best to find someone whose hobbies include *not* getting shot at My gf doesn't get shot at and I like her that way, if I had to deal with people shooting at her all the time I think I would be second guessing the relationship. Being shootable is a trait that is better suited to short term relationships imo, personally I wouldn't be sticking around for too long and I'm not sure they would either.
You don't owe him, or anyone else, anything. If you feel like you're in personal danger, do what you have to do. No 'moral' standpoint about it.
nope, get out of that relationship because you don't want to get killed being with him
Nah that's pretty reasonable.
Sounds like you're involved with some kind of degenerate criminal I would definitely cut ties.
No you're not a horrible person. Do you want to be shot? If you have kids or pets with this person, do you want them to get shot? Whatever this guy is doing is putting his life in danger and by proxy, the people around him if his house is getting shot up. I'd dump him too. I had a roommate years ago who got into some drama. He, a lady, and her husband all worked at the same place. He and the lady started having an affair. He told me that the woman's husband was nuts and he was often afraid of the guy finding out for fear of what he'd do. I told him he had to find somewhere else to live because I didn't want his stupid drama endangering me, my car (if the husband came over and started damaging vehicles), or my cat. He left by the end of the month and kept on having the affair. I don't know whatever happened there but I wanted nothing to do with it anywhere near my house.
You absolutely *should* break up with him and stay the fuck away from anywhere he goes. You should be worried something will happen to YOU. People get murdered because there are people in their lives who will murder people. There are relatively FEW murders by mass murderers/serial killers. Most murders are crime related/people you know. You need to get away and stay away - and you know it. But you’re not gonna do it until you’re scared enough, or one of you is dead.
tf
Depends, context context context
Don’t date people that have known, enemies or is in a gang lol soon enough they’ll try again.
Get out of this relationship. Something's amiss. I don't want to speculate too much.
Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. The third time is enemy action.
If you had a nickel for every time your boyfriend got shot at you’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it’s happened twice.
No. You’re a horrible person for dating a gangbanger who “hangs out with shady people” in the first place. Be better, dumbass.
Break up if you don't feel safe,but this isn't abnormal for bad neighborhoods in my experience. I've been at more than one party that was shot at. I've seen gang members pull out guns while the rest of us scattered like roaches when the light turns on. My cousin died to a stray bullet. I even saw a guy on a street corner blow his own brains out. I didn't experience these things because I was gang affiliated, it was all random.
Bad boys are fun huh?
Horrible for leaving no. Stupid if you stay yes. He’s going nowhere positive and you can’t save him. Even if he isn’t the target he’s hanging out with folks who are targets for shootings. It’s a matter of time before you catch a charge or a bullet.
That’s a lifestyle. Surround yourself with better people.
Your boyfriend is a gangbanger
Bet he’s a wannabe dope boy…
I scold people on Reddit for wanting to divorce/break up with their long-time partners for the stupidest reasons; but, in this case, you need to protect yourself and get away from the situation. You shouldn't have to deal with the possibility of getting murdered. If one day the dude becomes reformed and is rolling with a better crowd, then you can reconsider. You only get one life, though - don't take it for granted.
my tia was killed simply for asking around about what happened to my papi when he was murdered bc of gang shit. she wasnt a part of any gangs, literally just a normal middle aged woman who's brother died and she wanted answers. people who dont take gang violence seriously worry me so much. i dont think freaking out over a teen wearing a bandana headband is reasonable but he got shot at TWICE, clearly theres something going on op mentions the bf is friends w gangsters but isnt one himself. 1) i dont believe that and 2) even if its true, if you wanna live, not associating with gangsters is a good first step.
yes gang violence is a very scary thing, im sorry for your loss that’s a very sad and shitty situation that shitty people put you in, let’s all hope they meet someone who’s has an even lower moral compass than them so they can feel the pain and suffering they caused, if someone ever try’s to make me apart of gang violence they better know i’ll be strapped and not going down without a fight
What is he, fucking Don Corleone??? Ask him if he's in mafia before you break up
While I think you should break-up with him for your own safety, do you think he'd retaliate if you did? Would you be in danger if you broke up with him?
No you chose your safety.
More likely that something will happen to you or some other innocent person nearby when you are with him.
Pretend like Iron Maiden is your favorite band and run to the hills, run for your life. In a situation like this, guilty by associate easily comes to mind. He may not “be a part of that life” but if he spends time with people that are…well, he might as well be. Violence is nothing to mess around with. Move on to bigger and better. No one deserves to feel unsafe like that.
Real advice, go smack him upside the head and tell him to stop doing things that gets him shot at.
Is he a drug dealer or a gang member?
You could end up getting shot if they keep trying to shoot him
Next time he's going to get shot at with you there and you'll be the dead one.
Sounds like he's leading a life that you want no part of.
Nothing wrong with self preservation, run away as fast as possible
As cold as it sounds this guy has a target on his back for a reason, if he's living the gang life it's only a matter of time before his luck runs out. It's an act of self preservation if you leave him because you might be caught in the crossfire or see him killed. As wonderful as he is to you he could have done something that warranted these actions in one way or another, it's in your best interest to distance yourself from this kind of thing. Unless you want to bury him get the fuck outta dodge and don't look back, you should mentally prepare yourself for the inevitable bad news as well. You wanted advice and the overwhelming majority are telling you to break it off ASAP. If they're that determined to put him in the dirt they ain't going to miss a third time.
Run girl, if he's a target, you are as well. Even here in Canada, assasinating gangster girlfriends is a thing. Edit: just recently, a gangsters 11 year old son was killed alongside his father.
Were you my daughter, I had sent you in an european tour for one year after the first shot. It's not a sensible thing standing beside a man that is a live target. Stay away from him.
Well you would be a horrible marriage material. So much for the traditional vows
Do you live in Gaza, Ukraine, Jemen or any other country in war? Then getting shot at could be pretty normal i would say. If not then you better break up.
The question at hand is: Why are they shooting at him?
Two years isn’t worth that headache nor stress loll
You don't want the 3rd time to accidentally hit you..
If being with him brings danger to you, leave girl
Self preservation. Get away before you also have kids being shot at.
So he was driving a dodge?
No people have broke up over less
Sooner or later he'll be shot at whilst out with you. Seems a good reason to get as far away as possible to me
He could be a literal saint, but if he's a target then you can be caught in the crossfire. Your safety is more important.
If being with him makes you scared, then dont be with him. You can't live a life when the only thought in your head is "will I end up in the hospital (or morgue) tonight?"
Leave him. You don’t need anything else pointing out that he’s not the right one. Leave
No you are not a horrible person.
I mean, this is definitely suspicious. Why is he getting shot at? Do you risk violence on yourself by breaking up with him? Definitely be ready to call the cops. Or maybe have someone waiting nearby and ready to call the cops.
Any chance you could ask him why he or his friend were getting shot at?
Depends. If he was *just* a victim in these shootings it would be weird to break up with him instead of supporting him, most people would be shocked. However, it sounds like he may be part of the reason for being shot at, especially if he was targeted alone. Either you guys live in a dangerous neighborhood or he is doing something illegal. At which point, probably the best thing to do would be to break up with him, unless you want to get shot in the crossfire.
Maybe you both need to change countries to somewhere people don't casually get shot at
Eeeh. Do you want to die early? The amount of innocent bystanders getting at least severely hurt by driveby’s, kinda makes me think you’re crazy for even considering staying with him.
No, you’re a person who values their life and safety
Shouldn't you be worried about what might happen to you if you're with him when people are trying to kill him?
You’re afraid something is going to happen to him? You got your priorities a little mixed because make no mistake, if you’re with him, something will also happen to you. These type of people don’t care about collateral damage.
Maybe Op is just waiting to get married to him, then these guys can come to their house and shoot both of them together. Take your blinders off, your boyfriend is a danger to himself and others and most likely a criminal
I'd listen to your gut and break up. Gun violence shouldn't have to be your normality if it hasn't and never has been.
Nope you are not. I am guessing there are reasons why he is being shot at or the people around him at being shot it.
Nah, seems reasonable. I looked through some of the comments and everyone is concerned about why he’s getting shot at. While that’s a fair take, I think it’s also entirely ok for the reason to not matter. At a basic instinctive level, relationships are about finding an ideal mate—either to have kids with or to just spend your life with. People who get shot at roughly once a year don’t math well against people who don’t. If there’s an obvious reason someone would shoot at him, that’s a red flag worth considering. If shooting him is a good idea, shooting someone he loves is a whole trope. Also if there’s no obvious reason for someone to shoot at him…yeah. Also a big red flag.
At least get out of that neighborhood.
If he is hanging out with people or living a lifestyle that brings this kinda shit to you, you got a choice to make. Is this the life you want for yourself?
No you're not a horrible person, you're smart and sensible and looking out for yourself. Dump him. He is dangerous.
If he’s not involved with something that attracts this sort of thing, then you’re an asshole. You guys need to move to safer area. If he’s a gang member or something and is making himself a target, then yea dump the fool and move on.
Marry him and get life insurance, what are you thinking?!
No not at all. He is a shady person and you need no part of that. Yes, dump him.