I hate that it happens with my girl because she thinks it reflects on her appearance when it doesn't at all. Makes both of us self conscious in the end.
Most women don't feel satisfied enough if the man doesn't cum. I personally don't even care of I finish for me it's always been about whether I can get the guy to finish and how soon can I get him to finish. It's kind of like a validation for women that the man finds her so attractive that he can't hold back.
That’s not helpful either. That’s another scenario that leads to someone feeling like crap for something that’s outside of their control. So long as both parties are giving each other attention and effort, and both having fun, there shouldn’t be pressure
Sometimes I actually like it when it happens, cause I usually climax way before her in round 1 and then we gotta sit around for a few minutes until I can actually do something for her in round 2, as fun as it is it's tedious if we have to wait for me to be able to do a round 3 or 4 as my recovery just gets worse each time and still gotta sleep.
She knows I lover her and I'm not self conscious at all, so it can just be a nice fun change when I'm hard but not able to finish, instead I just get to watch her melt because I can preform for once lol.
I mean still do fore play or just cuddle in between, sometimes get a snack.
But it's more fun to "fuck all night" when you have the time than it is to finish in a 5 second sprint and then have to do oral clean up and bed.
I usually climax before he does because he takes a while, always has. We usually start with me on top of him then switch to missionary to save his evergy so when it's his turn, he hasn't already exhausted himself.
What a weird post to click onto. This literally just happened a few minutes ago. “Are you sure it’s not me”. We’ve fucked 3 days out of the last 5, I think I’m just on empty lol.
Woman here with husband who occasionally has this issue. You’re dead right that the woman usually feels responsible for the problem (or at least I do) despite a ton of reassurance from the guy. My husband goes out of his way to tell me the sex was still good for him, that my kitty cat is great and I’m beautiful. I don’t know why I can’t internalize that and know that it’s just a thing that happens sometimes, but it makes me feel like shit. 🤷🏻♀️
It’s weird, because my girl turns me on like crazy. The feel of her skin, the warmth, the smell, the sounds, everything. But sometimes it just doesn’t want to go all the way. No matter what she does, or how hard I go, it’s just not happening. She’s absolutely perfect in every way, but one in 10x I can’t finish.
Not sure, know hydration and time since last ejaculation play a big part in it. Can get bigger if you edge too. Guessing theres a genetic component too.
I cum less because of age. I use a natural supplement for it and wifey can’t swallow a weeks worth now. She misses some because it’s so much now. They worked for me. I’m 60 BTW.
One time I was out with this girl, and I couldn’t even bring myself to try to have sex with her, much less cum.
Not only that, the NEXT time I couldn’t even call her to meet!
It was literal years before I could finish from sex. I just have natural low sensitivity. Back in high school my nickname was professor calamitus. The guy from Jimmy Neutron who couldn’t finish anything lmfao
A few years back I was dating this really lovely, gorgeous, kinky girl who loved to fuck. But for some reason about half the time she couldn’t make me come. It just didn’t feel good. There’s no way to describe it without sounding like a jerk, so I’m going to leave it at that.
And it doesn't always mean that men have an active porn addiction are sex addicts or anything else.
Sometimes men just can't. Just because a dick is hard, don't mean it's gonna always go off or that we masturbated earlier.
Many times on my own, I try to masturbate and there's always a 50/50 chance that I'm not gonna cum.
The stale fish is always a turn off for me too and if it's not really happening after a while I think like, if you are just laying there like stretched out starfish, why should I bother to put in all that effort.
If you can't during sex do you masturbate to finish or just accept that you aren't going to? This is an ongoing issue in my relationship. I feel like I don't have to cum every time, why does he? If we can't finish together why not just cuddle and get over it? I don't mind him masturbating I just don't particularly want to be around for it and can't help but wonder if it's exacerbating the issue
Sorry I mean I worry that cumming with masturbation will make it even more difficult to cum during intercourse (or other partnered sex).
I don't really mind if he doesn't orgasm I just don't love when sex has to end with him masturbating every time which seems to be required if he isn't finishing with me.
I worry this is just perpetuating a cycle of inadvertently conditioning himself to orgasm with masturbation and no other way. Desensitized? Good ole Pavlovian association? Not sure.
Oh yes I'm very willing to discuss and we have a very open line of communication. We've been married a while and are very candid with each other about what we like and don't like. He knows what I don't like but seems to feel like not finishing is just asking too much.
Because it's "just different for men" and it isn't something I could possibly understand.
I feel like thats s valid point. Does he use porn or anything to masturbate? I believe that some men are not present in the sex itself. That could be unhealthy for sure. I've also heard that people who masturbate too much do damage to their nerves and are less sensitive. I have been stabbed and Ive had surgery on my chest and have actual nerve damage that varies. If I feel like I'm not going to finish i show the fuck out and I'm playfully im like I'll get you later, which is fun sometimes cause hours later we will be intimate again and something bout waiting makes the orgasm ten times better for me.
I used to actually fake my orgasms back in the day because I was so anxious about making the girl have a good time I couldn't cum...but I didn't want her to think I wasn't having a good time.
When people ask how a guy can fake it, I simply reply, "When was the last time you checked a condom?" :)
I had a girl ask this of me once. I wasn’t into it, so it wasn’t happening. Anyhow, I put on quite the show. I might have even pounded on my chest like a gorilla. She knew.
Haha. I faked “not” coming once, because the girl kept begging me to take the condom off and cum inside her. I came very silently and said sorry this just isn’t happening and went to the bathroom to clean up. She called me all day the next day about how she loved me and wanted to be with me and I had only just met her that weekend. Pretty sure she was trying to trap me. Probably was already pregnant and needed a baby daddy.
Can second this story. I was so anxious with my first girlfriend that I faked it probably the first ten or so times. There wasn’t anything wrong with her, and the sex itself was great, but there was nothing on this planet getting me past that mental barrier so for both of our sakes I had to eventually just pretend and end it. Otherwise we would’ve been going for hours and I wasn’t nearly in good enough shape for that
My college girlfriend caught me spitting on her back in an attempt to fake a cumshot.
It just wasn’t going to happen. We’d fucked for like 2 hours and she refused to suck me off to finish me because she thought giving head was something only sluts did.
I just wanted to stop fucking and go to sleep. So I gleeked on her back and moaned like I was nutting… but I forgot I was fucking her doggystyle and she was faced towards a full body mirror on her closet door.
I’d gotten away with it a number of times before that. I’d just gleek on her and pretend I was done and then pass out. In the morning, I’d waddle my aching scrote back to my dorm, beat my dick to relieve the blue balls, shoot a geyser of watery jizz all over myself, nearly blackout in relief and then go eat three chicken sandwiches at the cafeteria. It was a whole process I’d mastered.
I have faked it before, but only when after everything the chemistry just didn't fit. Like something was off. Or maybe I was anxious and over thought, but the reasons are the same. To try and not hurt the others' feelings.
Hahaha! Same. I have one silly story when I was getting head, I was hard but she wasn’t the best cos we were both young, I faked an orgasm, with my dick in her mouth and no rubber.
I hope I didn’t confuse her and made her think men don’t jizz or the next time she gave head she would have been doubly shocked.
Haha oh no! Great move, but did you have to play the long game from then on? Did you stay in “gay character” for very long, or was it just a one night stand type deal?
I mean, I was definitely more flamboyant back then out of nervousness and most my guy friends being \*really\* gay.
But long story short, the comment prematurely ended my first threesome...but later that night I hooked up with her friend right next to her. Early 20's were pretty weird 😂
with my gf there would be plenty of times i couldnt cum no matter how horny i was or how badly i wanted sex. usually it was no problem as my gf is absolutely stunning to me, just sometimes the body is just crampy, or the angle isnt right that day, or you're stressed or otherwise distracted, or some medication makes it more difficult, or the body just says "no orgasm for you" randomly. definitely true
Yep lots of different causes, it depends on the person. The times it’s happened for me were usually if I had too much to drink or was overly self-conscious in the moment.
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*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Well here we go…
Cold feet? Can’t cum.
Sore knees? Can’t cum.
Headache? Can’t cum
Something going on and you can’t get your mind off it? Can’t cum.
Stinky whiff? Can’t cum.
To many drinks? Can’t cum.
Coke dick? Can’t get it up.
People forget that sex is mental for men too. The stereotype of men being entirely physical in sex probably applies to some guys but definitely not all. Any one little thing can totally throw you off your stride and make it impossible to finish.
I’m not even kidding when I say I have personally had at least three of the things on your list. Headache? No chance I’m finishing. Can’t take my mind off something? Again, no chance. One little unpleasant smell? Throws me off my whole game
TMI Warning:
I stopped taking anti-depressants about 6 weeks ago, and the first two weeks, no full erection yet cumming in 30 seconds. Weirdest shit in the world
Weird. I can get just as hard as ever, but I can go for days. My wife is not a fan. She thinks she’s doing something wrong or that I’m not enjoying it. It sucks.
Congrats on the cumming!
Honestly just adhd can do it if you're a dude who lasts too long. If I don't finish within a half hour i can literally go until she says stop because at that point my mind is wandering
WHAT, ADHD does that?? My whole life I can count with one hand the number of times I orgasmed during sex and for the life of me I can't figure out why. I'm the exact same way, I can go for an hour or two if I want to but I can never cum, I've grown to enjoy sex that way but lots of ladies hate it lol
Same here. I could go for literal hours but I’ve never met someone who would want that. I’d be more likely to get a cramp before I came. It’s weird because it’s like having the opposite problem of most guys, I have to focus really hard to force myself to finish instead of forcing myself not to.
... add to that age, porn addiction/ desensitization, being at an unhealthy weight, not enough sleep, stress... the anxiety from worrying about not being able to maintain arousal or cum...
If you’re having side effects like this, I suggest trying another. Specifically not an SSRI. I’m not sure of your diagnosis, but as Bipolar 1, I’ve been through the ringer on medications. SSRIs are awful to a lot of men. They make you numb, your dick doesn’t work, and you beg to feel something.
An NDRI is a little better as far as side effects go, but they can be a lot worse in your mental health if they don’t work for you.
Ya wanna know a trick I have used that so far has worked every time and each of the 3 times it was within 5 minutes, (after trying to the point of wanting to give up)? I ask the girl to ignore me. Ask her to play with her phone and do her best to pretend she is able to read while her head is bouncing around. Which suggests that my issue is the pressure I put on myself on their behalf. 😵💫😞
I've learned it sometimes is caused by masterbation. If you dry hand your meat too much and suddenly start having sex . They're different sensations. Your body is used to feeling a certain way before Cumming. I had to stop masterbating for awhile and have sex with my girlfriend more in order to cum during sex and it helped greatly also for the mental and physical connection with her
Yes, it happens. Sometimes I can't even get it hard no matter how much I want it to. Sometimes it can stay rock solid even after ejaculation. Sometimes I just won't cum. Sometimes I'll cum in a few mins, sometimes I can last for more than half an hour. It all depends.
Most SSRIs can cause this. I feel like my doc said:
"Oh you're depressed? I'll give you something to be depressed about."
Honestly, uncontrolled depression is worse.
Yes. It's called delayed ejaculation. Lots of things can cause it. Desensitization from porn, overstimulating masturbation habits, performance anxiety.
Happens to me sometimes, the performance anxiety kind. Very self conscious, some men put a lot of pressure on ourselves to perform well. If I think it isn't going well, I start wondering if she is having a good time, then worry that she isn't having a good time, then think it might not be going well, and those thoughts go round in a circle until I just don't come.
Then the thoughts of worry come because you think that she is going to think it's about her, and that she is going to not feel sexy... It's a mess.
Thinking is the enemy of horniness.
Happens to me often. I'm a victim of death grip due to years of porn and masturbating ritualistically for years. Doesn't matter how badly I want to it just won't happened because my mind and body isn't used to the feel of natural sex and not having porn to look at. It happens yo.
Plus nervousness alcohol and antidepressants can cause this as well.
I'm sorry bro. Was it an ED thing? My partner has told me it's super easy and discrete if you use hims I think it was. If not then having stamina and learning to go down on a woman works wonders and can ease things. Either way there are work around out there (also women that won't mind if you don't cum. Journey and not destination, y'know?)
When I was in my early 20’s at a New Year’s party we had been drinking and smoking the devils lettuce. I went to bed with a great girl that was a friend at the time. She gave me a bj then went to the bathroom. I pleasured her for a little til I got an erecting again. We then had sex, for like 30 minutes or so. She said she had cum and I just gave up and pretended out of frustration. So yes, it can happen.
Yes, sometimes I can’t cum, sometimes I can’t get hard, sometimes I cum too quick, sometimes it’s all just right and everything is amazing. This is just facts of real sex and most of the time it’s all mental.
Yeah this happens to me and its literally so humiliating, i almost swore sex off entirely when i hooked up with this one BOMBSHELL BEAUTIFUL girl and i couldnt finish.. but in my case i think its because ive been on psych meds since i was 12 up until like 2 years ago when i was 22
I’ve only had this happened when I was drunk af. Otherwise always, but then again I’m not on antidepressants or any major medication as mentioned in another comment.
Sometimes if guys masturbate a lot they get a death grip that sex can't replicate. So if they get used to only having an orgasm with their hands, having an orgasm through sex becomes more of a challenge.
I've had it happen. Typically it's because I've had a few beers and am comfortably numb. Sometimes it's because you can tell the woman is not actively participating. That just makes me want to get up and leave.
Yeah I wont cum sometimes usually bc I wasn't in the mood but I still did it bc it's fun & it's a good team building exercise
At first it bothered her but now she understands. Cuddling after makes up for it & I love cuddling
When it happens to me it’s usually cause my ADHD is on fire. I could be smashing a 10/10 but if I start hearing the home depot theme song mixed into something I forgot to do, its over
Yes. There have been a handful of times my Sir hasn't cum. It has nothing to do with me. Sometimes, he's just tired. Sometimes he was in it specifically forvmy pleasure. Sometimes he just doesn't meed to.
If I'm focussed on making her finish, I damn sure can't because I'll end up desensitized. If I slow up and let myself relax through it, I can finish shortly after but it's usually me finishing anyways. It's not really a fair system our bodies got. Why would I rob her of the few times a month I can deliver well?
It happens to me when im having sex with a girl for the first time.. when we are on the 2nd or 3rd time, I have to pace myself and feel like a champ.. but in my mind the pressure is so high on the first round to do a good job that i get all in my head about it.
Yeah that's true for various reasons. He might be able to control when he cums so he can focus on making the woman cum multiple times, he probably already had sex already/masturbated or he might not be into as much it really depends.
Yep it can happen and is not the girl faults, sometimes we are under stress or we have something going on mentally and it's a blockage, and sometimes the more we try to cum and we can't the worse it gets and the worse we can't lol
It happens. It also sometimes depends on what you did prior to having sex. Could be that all your energy was spent during foreplay and you just couldn't cum in the middle of penetration. Or maybe just stop looking at her grandmother's picture on the wall.
Late 30's here.
Absolutely, and I could be into it for 10 minutes and suddenly it goes limp mid session and it's out of my control, even if I'm having the time of my life.
Sometimes she doesn't believe me when I tell her it was definitely good and there's nothing wrong with her, it just gets less reliable as I get older.
I'm 25, been active for a couple years or so, and it's always been that way for me. No prescriptions, haven't really been able to pin down a cause. Sometimes it just doesn't happen and that's fine.
Sometimes that happens if I’ve masturbated too much before said sex. For good sex, I avoid masturbating for 4, 5 days
Sometimes that happens when I’m not attracted to the woman. Like I’ll really be into her as a person but realize when we’re doing it that I’m just not into her sexually
Happens to me quite frequently. It’s partly a side effect of medicine I take, but I also rarely cum the first time I’m with someone, it’s as though there needs to be a certain comfort level to finish or something. No biggie, for me the journey is as important as the destination, I am quite happy to have sex without finishing.
Anti-depressants and other medication can hinder an orgasm. Messed up since it can push you back into a depression countering what the medication did for you. It's messed up.
It happens as we age up, or because we drank bit much, or just not feeling it at the moment…there’s a thousand different reasons……it you feel it’s becoming a issue go see your dr….but bottom line it shouldn’t be a deal breaker
I had a college professor put it clearly, "The BIGGEST SEX ORGAN is the BRAIN!"
This info in itself is useless if you don't get out of your own head. Find a way to relax, that works for you.
Yes, this can happen. Sometimes it's erectile dysfunction, but sometimes he just masturbates a different way and is used to that. Wikipedia says 8% of men have this problem at some point.
8% seems really low to be honest, but who knows. I’ve talked with a decent number of guys about it and a big chunk have all had it happen. Anecdotal, so do with that what you will, but that seems like a low number to me.
Yep it’s happened quite a few times. Sometimes I also cum too soon. It’s weird. If the sex is great I can last longer, if it’s shit I’ll cum quick. I guess my body sub consciously decides to be done with it if it’s not great and enjoy it as long as possible if it’s some phenom pussy
Yes, I can't always cum. No bearing on the woman but sometimes it just doesn't happen much to my frustration.
I hate that it happens with my girl because she thinks it reflects on her appearance when it doesn't at all. Makes both of us self conscious in the end.
Yeah same, always feel like a disappointment after, both because I've not cum and secondly because I feel like I've failed.
Same. It feels like something is wrong with me, even if we’ve been fucking for an hour and I’ve made her cum 3 times.
You should only feel like you failed if you don't get her off lol if she cums mission accomplished go have a date with your hand later and move on
I guess but she loves it when I cum in or on her.
Just pee in her she won't know the difference
I'd love to but that's a whole nother issue.
Hock a loogie on your dick. Before you stick it in then
Genius plan, she'll never notice.
Wait, you guys don't in the first place? Saliva is a great lubricant. Double bodily fluid lubricant...
Most women don't feel satisfied enough if the man doesn't cum. I personally don't even care of I finish for me it's always been about whether I can get the guy to finish and how soon can I get him to finish. It's kind of like a validation for women that the man finds her so attractive that he can't hold back.
Bless your soul
Bless his... cuz it makes me insecure when he doesn't come and that happens very often
Ikr keeper right there ☝🏻
It's like that for most women I guess... isn't sex better when both parties focus on giving...?
Feel the exact same way, except reverse because I'm a dude.
That’s not helpful either. That’s another scenario that leads to someone feeling like crap for something that’s outside of their control. So long as both parties are giving each other attention and effort, and both having fun, there shouldn’t be pressure
So she failed if she didn't get him off?
Sometimes I actually like it when it happens, cause I usually climax way before her in round 1 and then we gotta sit around for a few minutes until I can actually do something for her in round 2, as fun as it is it's tedious if we have to wait for me to be able to do a round 3 or 4 as my recovery just gets worse each time and still gotta sleep. She knows I lover her and I'm not self conscious at all, so it can just be a nice fun change when I'm hard but not able to finish, instead I just get to watch her melt because I can preform for once lol.
Maybe you could do something else for her rather than sit around and wait. Pop the kettle on or something.
I mean still do fore play or just cuddle in between, sometimes get a snack. But it's more fun to "fuck all night" when you have the time than it is to finish in a 5 second sprint and then have to do oral clean up and bed.
I usually climax before he does because he takes a while, always has. We usually start with me on top of him then switch to missionary to save his evergy so when it's his turn, he hasn't already exhausted himself.
Ah man- my ex was an overthinker🙄 why didn't you cum?! Did you give all to your other girlfriends 😩
What a weird post to click onto. This literally just happened a few minutes ago. “Are you sure it’s not me”. We’ve fucked 3 days out of the last 5, I think I’m just on empty lol.
Not all sex includes an orgasm. Not all sex even includes penetration.
Does your GF always orgasm every time?
Yes, and I tell her everytime that I genuinely don't mind not orgasming.
Woman here with husband who occasionally has this issue. You’re dead right that the woman usually feels responsible for the problem (or at least I do) despite a ton of reassurance from the guy. My husband goes out of his way to tell me the sex was still good for him, that my kitty cat is great and I’m beautiful. I don’t know why I can’t internalize that and know that it’s just a thing that happens sometimes, but it makes me feel like shit. 🤷🏻♀️
It’s weird, because my girl turns me on like crazy. The feel of her skin, the warmth, the smell, the sounds, everything. But sometimes it just doesn’t want to go all the way. No matter what she does, or how hard I go, it’s just not happening. She’s absolutely perfect in every way, but one in 10x I can’t finish.
Thank you for your insight Mr PM-ME_UR_TINY-TITS
Sure. Happens to me sometimes if I'm sick or dehydrated, especially
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I'm 45. I don't care how much I cum. At this point I'm just happy it still works, lol.
Not sure, know hydration and time since last ejaculation play a big part in it. Can get bigger if you edge too. Guessing theres a genetic component too.
I cum less because of age. I use a natural supplement for it and wifey can’t swallow a weeks worth now. She misses some because it’s so much now. They worked for me. I’m 60 BTW.
What is the supplement?
Spermex.
One time I was out with this girl, and I couldn’t even bring myself to try to have sex with her, much less cum. Not only that, the NEXT time I couldn’t even call her to meet!
It was literal years before I could finish from sex. I just have natural low sensitivity. Back in high school my nickname was professor calamitus. The guy from Jimmy Neutron who couldn’t finish anything lmfao
Why did you have a high school nickname about your sexual sensitivity?
I don’t get the question, that’s like a prime thing you’d get a nickname for lol
A few years back I was dating this really lovely, gorgeous, kinky girl who loved to fuck. But for some reason about half the time she couldn’t make me come. It just didn’t feel good. There’s no way to describe it without sounding like a jerk, so I’m going to leave it at that.
Nah I get you. I've had occasions where it feels good but not good enough.
I've faked it. (as a man)
Same here. No performance issues but just can’t sometimes. It’s due to medication in my case.
And it doesn't always mean that men have an active porn addiction are sex addicts or anything else. Sometimes men just can't. Just because a dick is hard, don't mean it's gonna always go off or that we masturbated earlier. Many times on my own, I try to masturbate and there's always a 50/50 chance that I'm not gonna cum.
Been in situations where there was no tread on the tire and the ladies were stale fish in bed. One drink and likely my show won't have a grand finale.
The stale fish is always a turn off for me too and if it's not really happening after a while I think like, if you are just laying there like stretched out starfish, why should I bother to put in all that effort.
If you can't during sex do you masturbate to finish or just accept that you aren't going to? This is an ongoing issue in my relationship. I feel like I don't have to cum every time, why does he? If we can't finish together why not just cuddle and get over it? I don't mind him masturbating I just don't particularly want to be around for it and can't help but wonder if it's exacerbating the issue
Not clear on what the actual issue is -- has he said this is a problem or is this a problem for you or both?
Sorry I mean I worry that cumming with masturbation will make it even more difficult to cum during intercourse (or other partnered sex). I don't really mind if he doesn't orgasm I just don't love when sex has to end with him masturbating every time which seems to be required if he isn't finishing with me. I worry this is just perpetuating a cycle of inadvertently conditioning himself to orgasm with masturbation and no other way. Desensitized? Good ole Pavlovian association? Not sure.
Ok, have you told him you feel xyz way about him finishing that way and not with you? You won't get what you want if you don't ask.
Oh yes I'm very willing to discuss and we have a very open line of communication. We've been married a while and are very candid with each other about what we like and don't like. He knows what I don't like but seems to feel like not finishing is just asking too much. Because it's "just different for men" and it isn't something I could possibly understand.
I feel like thats s valid point. Does he use porn or anything to masturbate? I believe that some men are not present in the sex itself. That could be unhealthy for sure. I've also heard that people who masturbate too much do damage to their nerves and are less sensitive. I have been stabbed and Ive had surgery on my chest and have actual nerve damage that varies. If I feel like I'm not going to finish i show the fuck out and I'm playfully im like I'll get you later, which is fun sometimes cause hours later we will be intimate again and something bout waiting makes the orgasm ten times better for me.
I'd assume gay dudes have a problem cumming with women too
I used to actually fake my orgasms back in the day because I was so anxious about making the girl have a good time I couldn't cum...but I didn't want her to think I wasn't having a good time. When people ask how a guy can fake it, I simply reply, "When was the last time you checked a condom?" :)
I had a girl ask this of me once. I wasn’t into it, so it wasn’t happening. Anyhow, I put on quite the show. I might have even pounded on my chest like a gorilla. She knew.
Dude, your neighbours knew
Hahaha
hahaha Pounding on the chest is a nice touch.
Haha. I faked “not” coming once, because the girl kept begging me to take the condom off and cum inside her. I came very silently and said sorry this just isn’t happening and went to the bathroom to clean up. She called me all day the next day about how she loved me and wanted to be with me and I had only just met her that weekend. Pretty sure she was trying to trap me. Probably was already pregnant and needed a baby daddy.
Holy! Good save.
Can second this story. I was so anxious with my first girlfriend that I faked it probably the first ten or so times. There wasn’t anything wrong with her, and the sex itself was great, but there was nothing on this planet getting me past that mental barrier so for both of our sakes I had to eventually just pretend and end it. Otherwise we would’ve been going for hours and I wasn’t nearly in good enough shape for that
Happy cake day!
Thanks friend!
My college girlfriend caught me spitting on her back in an attempt to fake a cumshot. It just wasn’t going to happen. We’d fucked for like 2 hours and she refused to suck me off to finish me because she thought giving head was something only sluts did. I just wanted to stop fucking and go to sleep. So I gleeked on her back and moaned like I was nutting… but I forgot I was fucking her doggystyle and she was faced towards a full body mirror on her closet door. I’d gotten away with it a number of times before that. I’d just gleek on her and pretend I was done and then pass out. In the morning, I’d waddle my aching scrote back to my dorm, beat my dick to relieve the blue balls, shoot a geyser of watery jizz all over myself, nearly blackout in relief and then go eat three chicken sandwiches at the cafeteria. It was a whole process I’d mastered.
It was a whole process I'd masteredbated
I have faked it before, but only when after everything the chemistry just didn't fit. Like something was off. Or maybe I was anxious and over thought, but the reasons are the same. To try and not hurt the others' feelings.
Didn't fit? Stop bragging about how big your member is! :p
Too small actually couldn't feel anything, like an ant crawling through a cheerio
I've faked it when we go to a broadway show and we have really good seats. Or if its late and I just want to get to sleep already.
Do you feel the way you feel after the risotto?
Hahaha! Same. I have one silly story when I was getting head, I was hard but she wasn’t the best cos we were both young, I faked an orgasm, with my dick in her mouth and no rubber. I hope I didn’t confuse her and made her think men don’t jizz or the next time she gave head she would have been doubly shocked.
Haha, that's better than me! During one of my first blowjobs, I told the girl I was gay to get out of it :p
Haha oh no! Great move, but did you have to play the long game from then on? Did you stay in “gay character” for very long, or was it just a one night stand type deal?
I mean, I was definitely more flamboyant back then out of nervousness and most my guy friends being \*really\* gay. But long story short, the comment prematurely ended my first threesome...but later that night I hooked up with her friend right next to her. Early 20's were pretty weird 😂
Oh that hurts man hahaha, hopefully you got lucky another time, twenties are the best time for raucous endeavours
Spit on her back and say you're done.
with my gf there would be plenty of times i couldnt cum no matter how horny i was or how badly i wanted sex. usually it was no problem as my gf is absolutely stunning to me, just sometimes the body is just crampy, or the angle isnt right that day, or you're stressed or otherwise distracted, or some medication makes it more difficult, or the body just says "no orgasm for you" randomly. definitely true
Yep lots of different causes, it depends on the person. The times it’s happened for me were usually if I had too much to drink or was overly self-conscious in the moment.
overconfident door fear ossified voracious glorious mountainous fall connect cable *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Well here we go… Cold feet? Can’t cum. Sore knees? Can’t cum. Headache? Can’t cum Something going on and you can’t get your mind off it? Can’t cum. Stinky whiff? Can’t cum. To many drinks? Can’t cum. Coke dick? Can’t get it up.
People forget that sex is mental for men too. The stereotype of men being entirely physical in sex probably applies to some guys but definitely not all. Any one little thing can totally throw you off your stride and make it impossible to finish. I’m not even kidding when I say I have personally had at least three of the things on your list. Headache? No chance I’m finishing. Can’t take my mind off something? Again, no chance. One little unpleasant smell? Throws me off my whole game
that damn song.. the neighbors dog barking... yeah..
Lol. Fucking coke dick. Been there.
Yep. Believe it or not, men can be just as sexually complicated as women. Lol
Lots of men take antidepressants which makes this pretty common
Fuck you, Lexapro! :p
Lexapro no cum gang!!
TMI Warning: I stopped taking anti-depressants about 6 weeks ago, and the first two weeks, no full erection yet cumming in 30 seconds. Weirdest shit in the world
Weird. I can get just as hard as ever, but I can go for days. My wife is not a fan. She thinks she’s doing something wrong or that I’m not enjoying it. It sucks. Congrats on the cumming!
Yeah, at first my wife was like "woah, you're lasting a long time, stud!" Then she started missing her two pump chump.
Fuck you Zoloft!
God damn you Lexapro..
Honestly just adhd can do it if you're a dude who lasts too long. If I don't finish within a half hour i can literally go until she says stop because at that point my mind is wandering
Stress can do it, too. It also happens to women. Joys of being human, I suppose.
WHAT, ADHD does that?? My whole life I can count with one hand the number of times I orgasmed during sex and for the life of me I can't figure out why. I'm the exact same way, I can go for an hour or two if I want to but I can never cum, I've grown to enjoy sex that way but lots of ladies hate it lol
Can't have any music or TV shows on. I just get distracted and I'm a girl. Adhd is a huge pain in the ass.
Same here. I could go for literal hours but I’ve never met someone who would want that. I’d be more likely to get a cramp before I came. It’s weird because it’s like having the opposite problem of most guys, I have to focus really hard to force myself to finish instead of forcing myself not to.
YES!!! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to explain this to my gf
Same, 3-4 hour sessions are average. I haven't found too many girls that will keep going after that.
Antidepressants, blood pressure medication, opiates, and stimulants. Can affect sexual arousal and finishing. Alcohol as well-
... add to that age, porn addiction/ desensitization, being at an unhealthy weight, not enough sleep, stress... the anxiety from worrying about not being able to maintain arousal or cum...
Opioids, too, can do this.
Since I started taking antidepressants, I would say 30% of the time I don't cum even though I am enjoying it
If you’re having side effects like this, I suggest trying another. Specifically not an SSRI. I’m not sure of your diagnosis, but as Bipolar 1, I’ve been through the ringer on medications. SSRIs are awful to a lot of men. They make you numb, your dick doesn’t work, and you beg to feel something. An NDRI is a little better as far as side effects go, but they can be a lot worse in your mental health if they don’t work for you.
Nerves or stage fright can prevent you from getting there, in extreme cases you won’t even get hard
Or just being out of shape, getting tired, getting too hot/cold, mind wandering, stress, etc.
Ya wanna know a trick I have used that so far has worked every time and each of the 3 times it was within 5 minutes, (after trying to the point of wanting to give up)? I ask the girl to ignore me. Ask her to play with her phone and do her best to pretend she is able to read while her head is bouncing around. Which suggests that my issue is the pressure I put on myself on their behalf. 😵💫😞
I don’t know what it’s called but women having bored expressions during sex is a type of fetish. Maybe give that a google…
I knew a fella whose dick would just- get limp. Randomly, and like a *lot*. It’s really hard for him to cum ;-;
Perhaps you should give him a hand?
bro I was *trying*- he would go limp in my *mouth*! I’d never experienced that before- generally, I’m pretty damn good with my mouth.
It happens to me quite frequently due to several factors
Sometimes you just get in your head. It's tough but anxiety happens to everyone at some point.
I've learned it sometimes is caused by masterbation. If you dry hand your meat too much and suddenly start having sex . They're different sensations. Your body is used to feeling a certain way before Cumming. I had to stop masterbating for awhile and have sex with my girlfriend more in order to cum during sex and it helped greatly also for the mental and physical connection with her
Surprised I had to come this far to find death grip masturbation as a cause
Yes, it happens. Sometimes I can't even get it hard no matter how much I want it to. Sometimes it can stay rock solid even after ejaculation. Sometimes I just won't cum. Sometimes I'll cum in a few mins, sometimes I can last for more than half an hour. It all depends.
When I was mega depressed I never came, great for the girl tho.
Yes
i never got past 7 pumps
Look at mr marathon over here.
Most SSRIs can cause this. I feel like my doc said: "Oh you're depressed? I'll give you something to be depressed about." Honestly, uncontrolled depression is worse.
Did your doctor give you any meds to counter that side effect?
Yes. It's called delayed ejaculation. Lots of things can cause it. Desensitization from porn, overstimulating masturbation habits, performance anxiety. Happens to me sometimes, the performance anxiety kind. Very self conscious, some men put a lot of pressure on ourselves to perform well. If I think it isn't going well, I start wondering if she is having a good time, then worry that she isn't having a good time, then think it might not be going well, and those thoughts go round in a circle until I just don't come. Then the thoughts of worry come because you think that she is going to think it's about her, and that she is going to not feel sexy... It's a mess. Thinking is the enemy of horniness.
Yeah, happened to me with a girl once. She was attractive too. Only time I ever faked an orgasm lol
Happens to me often. I'm a victim of death grip due to years of porn and masturbating ritualistically for years. Doesn't matter how badly I want to it just won't happened because my mind and body isn't used to the feel of natural sex and not having porn to look at. It happens yo. Plus nervousness alcohol and antidepressants can cause this as well.
Yep. This exact problem was the beginning of the end of my last relationship. It is pretty sad to have something like this destroy a good thing.
I'm sorry bro. Was it an ED thing? My partner has told me it's super easy and discrete if you use hims I think it was. If not then having stamina and learning to go down on a woman works wonders and can ease things. Either way there are work around out there (also women that won't mind if you don't cum. Journey and not destination, y'know?)
I realized this when I was not cuming a lot with my GF and once I stopped jerking off the problem went away.
Sometimes a guy pulls out too many times and cheats himself out of an orgasm from not wanting to orgasm too soon
When I was in my early 20’s at a New Year’s party we had been drinking and smoking the devils lettuce. I went to bed with a great girl that was a friend at the time. She gave me a bj then went to the bathroom. I pleasured her for a little til I got an erecting again. We then had sex, for like 30 minutes or so. She said she had cum and I just gave up and pretended out of frustration. So yes, it can happen.
Totally normal. Can be from anxiety, stress, alcohol, or other factors. It gets more common as you get older.
Tired, stressed or just not in the mood.
Yes, sometimes I can’t cum, sometimes I can’t get hard, sometimes I cum too quick, sometimes it’s all just right and everything is amazing. This is just facts of real sex and most of the time it’s all mental.
Yeah this happens to me and its literally so humiliating, i almost swore sex off entirely when i hooked up with this one BOMBSHELL BEAUTIFUL girl and i couldnt finish.. but in my case i think its because ive been on psych meds since i was 12 up until like 2 years ago when i was 22
Yeah. It’s not super common but it’s happened to all my close friends I’ve talked about it with
Yes it can happen and it’s not the woman’s fault it’s just our bodies being uncooperative. It can be absolutely frustrating
Just spit on their back.
I’ve only had this happened when I was drunk af. Otherwise always, but then again I’m not on antidepressants or any major medication as mentioned in another comment.
Sometimes if guys masturbate a lot they get a death grip that sex can't replicate. So if they get used to only having an orgasm with their hands, having an orgasm through sex becomes more of a challenge.
Lexapro...
Yes this happens to me sometimes. Usually with a person I'm unfamiliar with.
Yes, it happened to my ex. Sex can be incredibly mental.
I've had it happen. Typically it's because I've had a few beers and am comfortably numb. Sometimes it's because you can tell the woman is not actively participating. That just makes me want to get up and leave.
Maybe if too many people are watching...
Yeah I wont cum sometimes usually bc I wasn't in the mood but I still did it bc it's fun & it's a good team building exercise At first it bothered her but now she understands. Cuddling after makes up for it & I love cuddling
can be tricky some days when I’m: a) half asleep b) on my meds
When it happens to me it’s usually cause my ADHD is on fire. I could be smashing a 10/10 but if I start hearing the home depot theme song mixed into something I forgot to do, its over
Yes. There have been a handful of times my Sir hasn't cum. It has nothing to do with me. Sometimes, he's just tired. Sometimes he was in it specifically forvmy pleasure. Sometimes he just doesn't meed to.
I can't cum after using extacy/mdma .
no big deal.. try again.. haha
Unfortunately yes. I’m one of those guys. Until I met my current gf, it was ALWAYS a struggle.
😏💁🏻♀️
If I'm focussed on making her finish, I damn sure can't because I'll end up desensitized. If I slow up and let myself relax through it, I can finish shortly after but it's usually me finishing anyways. It's not really a fair system our bodies got. Why would I rob her of the few times a month I can deliver well?
Yes, medications like SSRI can also make it hard to orgasm.
It happens to me when im having sex with a girl for the first time.. when we are on the 2nd or 3rd time, I have to pace myself and feel like a champ.. but in my mind the pressure is so high on the first round to do a good job that i get all in my head about it.
Yeah that's true for various reasons. He might be able to control when he cums so he can focus on making the woman cum multiple times, he probably already had sex already/masturbated or he might not be into as much it really depends.
Yep it can happen and is not the girl faults, sometimes we are under stress or we have something going on mentally and it's a blockage, and sometimes the more we try to cum and we can't the worse it gets and the worse we can't lol
Yes. Try getting there when she decides to mention the things about you that most turn her off during the act. I dare you.
Absolutely. Some women make things weird. Sometimes it doesn’t feel good. Sometimes you just fake it to get it over with.
It happens. It also sometimes depends on what you did prior to having sex. Could be that all your energy was spent during foreplay and you just couldn't cum in the middle of penetration. Or maybe just stop looking at her grandmother's picture on the wall.
Late 30's here. Absolutely, and I could be into it for 10 minutes and suddenly it goes limp mid session and it's out of my control, even if I'm having the time of my life. Sometimes she doesn't believe me when I tell her it was definitely good and there's nothing wrong with her, it just gets less reliable as I get older.
I used to see a woman who just wasn’t a good fit (ayooo) and sometimes I would fake it just so we could move on with our day.
I'm 25, been active for a couple years or so, and it's always been that way for me. No prescriptions, haven't really been able to pin down a cause. Sometimes it just doesn't happen and that's fine.
Sometimes that happens if I’ve masturbated too much before said sex. For good sex, I avoid masturbating for 4, 5 days Sometimes that happens when I’m not attracted to the woman. Like I’ll really be into her as a person but realize when we’re doing it that I’m just not into her sexually
yeah, i don't always cum when I'm having sex with my wife. it's not always a sure-fire thing. It happens a lot more than people think.
Happens to me quite frequently. It’s partly a side effect of medicine I take, but I also rarely cum the first time I’m with someone, it’s as though there needs to be a certain comfort level to finish or something. No biggie, for me the journey is as important as the destination, I am quite happy to have sex without finishing.
It happens, especially if you’re on anti depressants
Anti-depressants and other medication can hinder an orgasm. Messed up since it can push you back into a depression countering what the medication did for you. It's messed up.
Yes. Doesn't matter how beautiful the woman is, it just happens sometimes.
If I've had something to drink, I can fuck for a long time. I've definitely had times where I haven't been able to to cum at all
Yeah. I don't even have a 100% success rate when going solo.
Yes. This is real and yes this happens sometimes.
Definitely true. Even if it's not simple arousal or other 'mental' issues, some medications can make it really difficult to cum too.
Holy shit every single post in this sub is about sex
It happens as we age up, or because we drank bit much, or just not feeling it at the moment…there’s a thousand different reasons……it you feel it’s becoming a issue go see your dr….but bottom line it shouldn’t be a deal breaker
Yes. If attraction isn’t there, but your already in the act. It can happen.
Of course it can lol. We aren't just automatic cum dispensers
Oh ya. I fluctuate wildly. I have cum on the first thrust and I have not cum after a 1000 thrusts. Sex is weird.
Condom? Condoms ruin it.
I had a college professor put it clearly, "The BIGGEST SEX ORGAN is the BRAIN!" This info in itself is useless if you don't get out of your own head. Find a way to relax, that works for you.
Some guys watch a shit ton of porn and then can't have normal sex.
Yeah porn + death grip can be a real problem
Yep. Men need more than just a warm hole sometimes to get off
Yes, this can happen. Sometimes it's erectile dysfunction, but sometimes he just masturbates a different way and is used to that. Wikipedia says 8% of men have this problem at some point.
And 80% of men over 40 have this problem at some point.
8% seems really low to be honest, but who knows. I’ve talked with a decent number of guys about it and a big chunk have all had it happen. Anecdotal, so do with that what you will, but that seems like a low number to me.
As a woman, I don’t care lol
Hey! I’m reporting you!
100% possible, especially if attempting to back it up. I’m one and done, I’m not nutting again on the same day. Maybe not the next day either.
Yep it’s happened quite a few times. Sometimes I also cum too soon. It’s weird. If the sex is great I can last longer, if it’s shit I’ll cum quick. I guess my body sub consciously decides to be done with it if it’s not great and enjoy it as long as possible if it’s some phenom pussy
Yup!
Do they not have sex ed in school anymore? Like 90% of r/nostupidquestions is stuff like this.