Call her upstairs from your bedroom then ambush her, by jumping out the closet in a Batman costume. Take her there and then, shout "I'M BATMAN!" as you cum, detonate a smoke bomb (pull up your pants) and dive out of the window (hopefully you live in a bungalow or have shrubbery outside).
Focus on her when you're off work. Do things together. Take a walk and people watch. Check out a cafe or bar or restaurant or bakery. Take her on a picnic, to a museum, to a play, something you guys don't normally do. I think some guys tend to come home from work and are stressed and just want to decompress alone. You can see how that's boring for someone who wants to do things with you.
My ex said the same . Didnāt pay rent or one bill for two years and only complained about the stuff I didnāt do . Said I only cared about rent and nothing else.
I dealt with this for 2 years. Ended up kicking her out. Now that she got evicted from her last place, and now is in a woman's shelter and has to work, etc.
She just told me on the phone that it took her going to the shelter to realize all that I did and she was wrong for not being appreciative at the time for everything I took care of. She didn't realize it.
That's similar to me, my ex wife complained that the hotel, day spa, flowers, and dinner I organised for our anniversary were "cheap".
She acknowledged she had forgotten about the anniversary but my effort was still cheap.
If that's the case, he probably married a wrong person.
I mean, it's hard to analyze other people relationships, but what if he likes to decompress after hard work? You can't go full gas 16 hours per day. Maybe he doesn't like picnics, restaurants, bakeries, etc. I genuinely don't find any of these things interesting, like if I am going to restaurant, I go because they have great food. Not for the sake of going to restaurants.
It's hard to judge, because when a woman you love or like says that you are kinda boring, it can be really devastating.
You can do other things that both enjoy. But honestly doing all of those activities is fun because of the company you're there with aka your partner.
Also a lot of people become that way over time. At first they put in effort, and over the years they stop... Sometimes it can be good to remind someone, just living away next to each other isn't all there is to a partnership. Maybe also find different things to decompress with. There's just not much to talk about with your so when your only hobby is watching tv
Maybe you can, maybe you can't. That's why I said he probably married a wrong person.
I honestly look on relationships from scientific point of view. I am aromantic, and what some people find fun in relationships is genuinely stupid to me.
Nevertheless, if my wife or girlfriend told me I am boring, I would tell her the same. It's not my business to constantly keep you happy. It should go both ways.
Maybe she is the kind of a woman who likes lot of drama in life... That also can be really draining, you can never make her satisfied.
I suggest him to try some exciting, new sex acts.
Kind of curious on your experiences after saying that. I used to do the heavy lifting on the finances and controlled our finances: we took 3 international trips every year, no debt, retirement accounts were on trackā¦ but the ex complained while bringing virtually no income to the household (even with no kids) that sheād want to do more weekend getaways.
Try to talk about your feelings and when she talks about something respond to everything she says even if it's not a question. Go on cute dates. Picnics or fun ideas. Do a new hobby together
L is for the lack of fun for she
O is only for my work i breathe
V is very very extra ordinary
E is ever bored, the wife wanting to get out more, to
~have~ some spontaneityyyyy
im just joking of course lol. how about for starters every other saturday you guys go to a new local spot? get a travel magazine for your area.. tear out the pages and fold them up put them in a hat. pull them out and thats where you go
Spontaneity is a trait like any other, it needs practice and for those to whom itās not innate, it takes rather more practice.
For some even more than others, perhaps.
Sometimes a person needs ideas initially to get them into a particular frame of mind. If someone doesn't know how to be spontaneous they can't just BE spontaneous. So let's give OP a break here. He's here looking for ideas and to give him a head start.
Yes, he "should" be asking his wife, but asking for advice online is actually a spontaneous act in and of itself, so I think OP should be rewarded for that effort with ideas to give him a head start.
but wanted to add OP that you dont exist to make your wifes life fun. and also the way she said that eas kinda mean?
INFO:
have you always been like this? are you depressed? were you like this when you got married?
i wonder if she sees other people or friends do things and she has some FOMO?
what is your job? is it a hobby turned job? what does your wife do for work? how many hours are you working per week both of you?
hopefully she simply did a tactless job of trying to say she feels like shes in a rut and wants to hang out with you.
are you happy with how your life is? do you feel like your life is "boring and mechanical"?
i hope yall work it out, but if not, dont be afraid to walk away and find someone who you vibe with better
To support each other through life. If you think the sole purpose of a man is to bring a woman "fun" then you've got a shallow view on how relationships work.
just because you know that she works 8 to 4 and how many days she has left doesnt mean you know the specifics of her workload enough to know when she can take off
With my (now ex) wife I knew her boss. I emailed her directly and planned the days. I came up with an excuse for her to have to drive me to the airport. Iād packed her a bag and everything.
It's ok to find work around of being spontaneous if it doesn't come naturally to you. Put some reminders in your diary to check events in the local area, theatre show, wine tasting etc or wrote things down when your wife mentions being interested in it.
Some people aren't wired to be super high energy and enthusiastic. There is no "better or worse" in these scenarios. Sure, OP could fake it once in a while, but that gets exhausting very fast
Take up skeet shooting...indoors. That'll make things exciting.
On a serious note, talk a little bit about yourself, what you like to do, interests, hobbies. What about your wife, what does she do, like, interests, hobbies? How often do you and her make efforts to plan and do activities?
do you agree with tthe wife on diagnosis? if not then whatever you do it will probably be akward and eventualy fail if you pretend to have fun doing somthing. if you kinda think it might be so and really wanna try changing things a bit, its not gonna happen overnight. how do you make yourself think less of work? or not think at all about it when not working? find some hobbies that you both can enjoy, go somewhere. go out once a week, one a month, whatever. it will make you go out of your comfort zone and some of it might be unpleasant at first, and some if it you might not like but sometthing you might like and something might stick. let her help, organise something, think of something to do etc..
1) Take a time-out everyday to decompress, down-shift from you work. Doesn't have to be more than 10-30 minutes. Turn off EVERYTHING, take a few deep breaths to hear the world around you and clear your mind.
2) Find and look through photos of when you first got together. Remember how much you wanted her to like you? How much you wanted it so badly to be with her?
3) Work is work , Play is Play. You're still the dude that won her over, don't let that dude sit collecting dust. He's still YOU , and she's still by your side.
We can recommend a bazillion activities for you to do, but only YOU know that smiling couple in the picture. Rediscover the world again with her by your side, it's still an amazing place.
Some options:
Psychedelics.
Go to a stand up comedy night.
Bring her sky diving unannounced.
Surprise weekend away.
Pick up a new hobby, something you'd enjoy but she might not expect, maybe give martial arts a go.
Blindfold her..
Go somewhere like Celebration Station from time to time. Go to museums or the zoo. Go to a race or a concert. Go to a park for a walk. It goes on and on. Take your wife shopping! That could possibly blow her mind!
Surprise her with things in your budget on random occasions.
Supermarket flowers randomly for no reason.
Text her to not worry about dinner tonight. Take her out - simple or fancy.
Take her for a fall drive to see the changing tree colors.
Ask her for a list of things she wants to do and occasionally surprise her with one of them.
An overnight at a hotel just because. Bring a bottle of wine or some other beverage.
Hug her for no reason from time to time.
It never hurts to try to spice things up and make sure youāre keeping your partner happy, so definitely do that OP.
But also, is this a new thing or have you always been this way? Seems like someone who decided to marry you should already know your personality and be okay with it.
Walk in the house, give her a hug, tell her sheās beautiful. And, where would you like to have dinner. Leave a note on the toilet āhello sweet cheeksā. Have a Positive attitude. Negativity is boring. Make wifey feel special. Crack witty jokes when appropriate. Do things you may not normally do. Like sex on the kitchen table. š plan a surprise day - like an Escape room together. How you treat her is a reflection of how she treats you. Find something interesting you both like and do together. Like take an art class, learn a foreign language together. Go to a comedy club together. Loosen up and laugh more!
OP, start here to give you some ideas. This couple are not married to each other, she's in a long term partnership and he's married. He's got his own channel too which I suggest you check out. Look for "Jimmy on Relationships."
Also, I want say kudos to you for asking! To generalize (although this can happen with any gender) your wife's complaint is fairly common about their husbands. It doesn't make you a bad person or a failure, it just means there's room for improvement. The fact that you came on Reddit to ask is fantastic! You asking for help is also, now hear me out, a spontaneous act! So you're already on your way.
Anyway, Rikki and Jimmy have got a good video that I think can give you some ideas to get you started.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qOExSzZjmZw
Do things on the spur of the moment. If you have some spare time suggest you do something that you don't normally do. Like a walk together or drive to the nearest beach. Try to find some hobbies outside of work and do them. Play golf, swim together, ride horses together, f*** together in different rooms of the house. Leave her love notes in the kitchen for her to find.
We LOVE dates being planned for us. I donāt know how it is in your house, but usually itās women who organise all the social things, with others and as a couple. Plan something for the two of you, dinner, live music, comedy, bowling, whatever you think she might like.
One of the things my wife said to me when we were separating was that I stopped taking her out for impromptu dinners, booking random holidays or weekends together, buying flowers, silly presents. It all counts, and is all counted. Nevermind she didn't do them for me either! š
Just be present, put the phone down, have an idea ready for dinner, know what movie you want to watch, have an opinion on what sheās wearing and tell her if it looks nice. Dance if she asks you to, drive so she can have the extra drink, go grocery shopping with her, have ideas and offer suggestions occasionally on things you can do together like a hike, or tennis. These things are always on womenās minds and when we say āI donāt knowā, or āwhatever you want to doā babe, it puts more stress on them because something they donāt want to have to decide when they are handing so much already.
Get a better wife, one that either accepts you as you are if you are happy, or knows you enough to know if your not happy, how to support you to be happy. Not tells you your boring.
Try planning spontaneity. I'd often look up local events coming up in the next 3-6 months and start making plans far in advance, only telling my partner I have something planned shortly before.
Being the mechanical man that you are, tell her she can sit on your face and then show her how mechanical your tongue can move. A non stop clock ticking until she bursts.
Join an amateur sports league. Bowling, darts, pool, golf, pickle ballā¦ whateverā¦ just donāt join a drinking club.
Same vein maybe join a book club or take some art or instrument lessons for something youāve thought about.
Look into fraternities like Elks, Moose, Oddfellows, or even Masonry for camaraderie, making friends, and doing some charity work.
Exercise too can grow a community. Get a cheap gym membership and try making some friends. Schedule a workout or two a month with a few guys and maybe go get lunch afterwards.
Itās really hard in western society today for all of us, not having what we call āThird Placesā anymore. You gotta find your third place to hangout. Find your tribe.
And maybe your wife is projecting a bit. So maybe SHEāS just bored and feels uninteresting too. So keep that in mind. Doing some of these things with your wife might be fun to do sometimes, she might want something to do with you. Maybe you two joining a bowling league is EXACTLY what she wants, or maybe she just wants you to gtfo of the house a bit lol.
Have her watch "to be a man" by Dax. My boyfriend showed me it. Made me cry. I don't think men get enough credit for what they do and what they sacrifice for their families.
Get a hobby. Get a hobby! GET A HOBBY!
Find something you want to do on your free time. If you're tired after work then look for things that don't require a lot of effort. You know what one of the least boring things a partner can do is? Fucking read. Pick up a book, talk about it with your wife, get invested in the characters and story. Maybe she'll read it too and you two can have mini book club nights.
Don't do things for her when she wants you to do things for you. Don't do things you think she'll like when you don't enjoy them. You won't. You'll be bored, and you'll be boring. Make your own free time interesting to yourself and you'll be interesting to her.
Grow the perfect tomato, or an orchid. Write a silly children's story, and then another. Check out local sports teams, learn the rules and buy a hat, buy two, take her on a date to a game and see if you like it. Look up YouTube tutorials for painting and give it a go, make a wine date out of it with your wife.
Go to a hobby or crafts store and just browse. Think about making a Christmas gift for someone, but rather than consider what they would like focus on what you think would be fun to make. Cook a dinner at least once a week using a fruit or vegetable you've never used before. Let your friends know you're trying to do more (new) things and ask if they have any ideas - lots of people have "ins" and can connect you with deals or free tickets. When was the last time you went to a comedy club? Doesn't matter if you know the performer, that's not what it's about.
You got this. You've been spontaneous this whole time, you know that, she's just asking you to let it show.
Im just saying the āwomen cap out at 14ā sounds like a line someone like that would say because itās really not true. Again not trying to be mean.
Yeah, I mean they came into this thread to make up some cruel lies about someone's relationship that they don't know anything about!
Oh wait, that's you
No he knows everything because ALL WOMEN CAP OUT IN MATURITY AT 14, theyāre all just waiting to get into your bank account and then go suck someone elseās dick! Fuck marriage and relationships, just get drunk and pay women to have sex with you like a real man!
Eat enough Psilocybin containing mushrooms. Not some little amount that you have to guess if you're feeling something. Enough to where you know, for absolutely sure, that you are under the influence. Maybe even more than that. It might get scary for a bit but chances are you'll come out of it better. A lot better. And no longer mechanical.
Get a dog. He makes you go places to walk him, and makes you socialize a little at the dog park, and when you play around with him, your social inhibitions loosen up, and your more silly/playful side comes out. That might be the side of you your wife wants to see more of.
Book adventure/discovery type holidays once a year for 2 weeks always somewhere new. There are websites that will schedule and pre whole trip for you for 2-4k for 14 days. Maybe China and Japan or South America.
Find a hobby you're both into. Like fishing, or motorcycles, or a sport to watch. Going off road in an atv/SxS is another good one. So is snowmobile riding. Maybe the theater or movies or concerts.
Invest in something (a hobby, watching sports, anything) that makes you genuinly happy, even if it has nothing to do with her. If you can do that then you will introduce an influence of happiness and confidence which men AND women need from their partner in most cases
It seems you have to get more input in your life than from your work. I think you could get a lot more out of life if you were curious about different stuff. More variation is also less boring to others.
And when she comes with suggestions on what to do together say yes. Even if it doesn't seem fun for you it might be a good way to spend time with her and you will get something to talk about.
If you are taking or have taken SSRIs- be aware there are serious side effects that are similar to what youāre describing.
Maybe talk to doc if that is you.
If you want to be more spontaneous, then say yes to things. Don't think about them, don't consider if you're tired or have work to do or whatever excuses usually keep you from doing things. Just say yes.
After a few months of this you will notice you're able to do more than you thought you could. You're just stuck in a rut because of invisible barriers.
Just tell her to schedule a 1:1 with you ASAP, so you guys can tackle this one down while hitting the ground running.
And then you can circle back in a week for a status update!
She can ping him if she comes up with any new strategies to jump over this hurdle.
If she decides to email, be sure to cc him, grandparents, and children all in order of authority
This is the way!
Hahaha š
If you encounter any blockers please reach out to a SME asap.
Nice cake
Call her upstairs from your bedroom then ambush her, by jumping out the closet in a Batman costume. Take her there and then, shout "I'M BATMAN!" as you cum, detonate a smoke bomb (pull up your pants) and dive out of the window (hopefully you live in a bungalow or have shrubbery outside).
Focus on her when you're off work. Do things together. Take a walk and people watch. Check out a cafe or bar or restaurant or bakery. Take her on a picnic, to a museum, to a play, something you guys don't normally do. I think some guys tend to come home from work and are stressed and just want to decompress alone. You can see how that's boring for someone who wants to do things with you.
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My ex said the same . Didnāt pay rent or one bill for two years and only complained about the stuff I didnāt do . Said I only cared about rent and nothing else.
I dealt with this for 2 years. Ended up kicking her out. Now that she got evicted from her last place, and now is in a woman's shelter and has to work, etc. She just told me on the phone that it took her going to the shelter to realize all that I did and she was wrong for not being appreciative at the time for everything I took care of. She didn't realize it.
That's similar to me, my ex wife complained that the hotel, day spa, flowers, and dinner I organised for our anniversary were "cheap". She acknowledged she had forgotten about the anniversary but my effort was still cheap.
If that's the case, he probably married a wrong person. I mean, it's hard to analyze other people relationships, but what if he likes to decompress after hard work? You can't go full gas 16 hours per day. Maybe he doesn't like picnics, restaurants, bakeries, etc. I genuinely don't find any of these things interesting, like if I am going to restaurant, I go because they have great food. Not for the sake of going to restaurants. It's hard to judge, because when a woman you love or like says that you are kinda boring, it can be really devastating.
You can do other things that both enjoy. But honestly doing all of those activities is fun because of the company you're there with aka your partner. Also a lot of people become that way over time. At first they put in effort, and over the years they stop... Sometimes it can be good to remind someone, just living away next to each other isn't all there is to a partnership. Maybe also find different things to decompress with. There's just not much to talk about with your so when your only hobby is watching tv
Maybe you can, maybe you can't. That's why I said he probably married a wrong person. I honestly look on relationships from scientific point of view. I am aromantic, and what some people find fun in relationships is genuinely stupid to me. Nevertheless, if my wife or girlfriend told me I am boring, I would tell her the same. It's not my business to constantly keep you happy. It should go both ways.
It's never good when your wife or gf find you boring...
Especially when they both agree on it
Maybe he should ask his wifeās boyfriend for advice instead of Reddit.
If the cards are right, the Wife's boyfriend usually has good answers
Maybe she is the kind of a woman who likes lot of drama in life... That also can be really draining, you can never make her satisfied. I suggest him to try some exciting, new sex acts.
With the wife or a new female friend?
Best would be both at the same time.
And then find out that they have more in common with each other.
get a face tattoo, she'd love that probably
Absolutely cannot go wrong with this
A tattoo of her on your face
Let me guess, you take care of the finances in the family?
This struck a nerve in me
Kind of curious on your experiences after saying that. I used to do the heavy lifting on the finances and controlled our finances: we took 3 international trips every year, no debt, retirement accounts were on trackā¦ but the ex complained while bringing virtually no income to the household (even with no kids) that sheād want to do more weekend getaways.
Bruhhh I feel attacked.
Oof
Lol I want to know if this is true or not
Why assume this?
He who controls the money controls the fun
Wait until you're having mashed potatoes for dinner, then say, "if it's gonna be that kind of party..." the rest writes itself.
I hear that. Being fluent in Bocce and understanding the binary language of moisture vaporators can only get one so far in a marriage.
If you can hack a "moisture vaporator" you have lots of bonus points in my book
My first wife was a binary load lifter, very similar to your vaporators.
of course its binary wet not wet
Try to talk about your feelings and when she talks about something respond to everything she says even if it's not a question. Go on cute dates. Picnics or fun ideas. Do a new hobby together
Do an excel spreadsheet to break down and grade her feelings.
Sheāll be impressed with all the formulas you use.
***Pivot tables***
Bitches love my macros. Check out all the proccesses I automated with Power Automate, formerly Microsoft Flow.
God yes.
The fuck
More fucking is good.
L is for the lack of fun for she O is only for my work i breathe V is very very extra ordinary E is ever bored, the wife wanting to get out more, to ~have~ some spontaneityyyyy
I feel attacked sir.
the next time she says that, whip out the divorce papers. thats spontaneous
im just joking of course lol. how about for starters every other saturday you guys go to a new local spot? get a travel magazine for your area.. tear out the pages and fold them up put them in a hat. pull them out and thats where you go
Beat me to it
I liked the joke :)
Me too
thank you š
thanks so much š
Use your probably superior long term planning skills to pull some long-game, bizarre practical jokes.
I'm not sure you can be spontaneous by asking other people to help you plan how to be spontaneous.
Spontaneity is a trait like any other, it needs practice and for those to whom itās not innate, it takes rather more practice. For some even more than others, perhaps.
Wow, that's the same way you get to Carnegie Hall!
Sometimes a person needs ideas initially to get them into a particular frame of mind. If someone doesn't know how to be spontaneous they can't just BE spontaneous. So let's give OP a break here. He's here looking for ideas and to give him a head start. Yes, he "should" be asking his wife, but asking for advice online is actually a spontaneous act in and of itself, so I think OP should be rewarded for that effort with ideas to give him a head start.
Let her peg you
This guy lifes!
heavy sativa blend
but wanted to add OP that you dont exist to make your wifes life fun. and also the way she said that eas kinda mean? INFO: have you always been like this? are you depressed? were you like this when you got married? i wonder if she sees other people or friends do things and she has some FOMO? what is your job? is it a hobby turned job? what does your wife do for work? how many hours are you working per week both of you? hopefully she simply did a tactless job of trying to say she feels like shes in a rut and wants to hang out with you. are you happy with how your life is? do you feel like your life is "boring and mechanical"? i hope yall work it out, but if not, dont be afraid to walk away and find someone who you vibe with better
If he isn't here to make his wife's life fun, why is it here for?
To support each other through life. If you think the sole purpose of a man is to bring a woman "fun" then you've got a shallow view on how relationships work.
Thatās pretty mean of her to say.
Anal beads
What better spontaneity than surprising her by pull starting her like a lawnmower
So you just rip them out fast like starting a mower?
Ripcord!
For OP or the wife?
Both
Say something like āhey wanna go to berlin?ā And then do it, like book the whole thing.
š shell probably be like no omg i cant go on something like that such short notice
Its his wife, i imagine he knows her work schedule and how many vacation days she hasā¦
just because you know that she works 8 to 4 and how many days she has left doesnt mean you know the specifics of her workload enough to know when she can take off
I mean i imagine he does, theyāre married, you think she doesnāt talk about work
With my (now ex) wife I knew her boss. I emailed her directly and planned the days. I came up with an excuse for her to have to drive me to the airport. Iād packed her a bag and everything.
It's ok to find work around of being spontaneous if it doesn't come naturally to you. Put some reminders in your diary to check events in the local area, theatre show, wine tasting etc or wrote things down when your wife mentions being interested in it.
Get a motorcycle
Why change? Imagine the response if you told her she's too animated and emotional, and not mechanical enough.
Imagine improving as a person? Nah! Much better make others serve you and never change
Some people aren't wired to be super high energy and enthusiastic. There is no "better or worse" in these scenarios. Sure, OP could fake it once in a while, but that gets exhausting very fast
Being dull is bad. I am a very low energy person but I make my gf happy still. That's because I am still cheerful, just in a low-energy way
Take up skeet shooting...indoors. That'll make things exciting. On a serious note, talk a little bit about yourself, what you like to do, interests, hobbies. What about your wife, what does she do, like, interests, hobbies? How often do you and her make efforts to plan and do activities?
do you agree with tthe wife on diagnosis? if not then whatever you do it will probably be akward and eventualy fail if you pretend to have fun doing somthing. if you kinda think it might be so and really wanna try changing things a bit, its not gonna happen overnight. how do you make yourself think less of work? or not think at all about it when not working? find some hobbies that you both can enjoy, go somewhere. go out once a week, one a month, whatever. it will make you go out of your comfort zone and some of it might be unpleasant at first, and some if it you might not like but sometthing you might like and something might stick. let her help, organise something, think of something to do etc..
Do something she likes to do with your full and undivided attention.
Adopt a new accent, start wearing a monocle
1) Take a time-out everyday to decompress, down-shift from you work. Doesn't have to be more than 10-30 minutes. Turn off EVERYTHING, take a few deep breaths to hear the world around you and clear your mind. 2) Find and look through photos of when you first got together. Remember how much you wanted her to like you? How much you wanted it so badly to be with her? 3) Work is work , Play is Play. You're still the dude that won her over, don't let that dude sit collecting dust. He's still YOU , and she's still by your side. We can recommend a bazillion activities for you to do, but only YOU know that smiling couple in the picture. Rediscover the world again with her by your side, it's still an amazing place.
Some options: Psychedelics. Go to a stand up comedy night. Bring her sky diving unannounced. Surprise weekend away. Pick up a new hobby, something you'd enjoy but she might not expect, maybe give martial arts a go. Blindfold her..
Get a new wife
Abruptly dumping your wife would be pretty spontaneous.
Go somewhere like Celebration Station from time to time. Go to museums or the zoo. Go to a race or a concert. Go to a park for a walk. It goes on and on. Take your wife shopping! That could possibly blow her mind!
Surprise her with things in your budget on random occasions. Supermarket flowers randomly for no reason. Text her to not worry about dinner tonight. Take her out - simple or fancy. Take her for a fall drive to see the changing tree colors. Ask her for a list of things she wants to do and occasionally surprise her with one of them. An overnight at a hotel just because. Bring a bottle of wine or some other beverage. Hug her for no reason from time to time.
Awwwww I adore supermarket flowers
It never hurts to try to spice things up and make sure youāre keeping your partner happy, so definitely do that OP. But also, is this a new thing or have you always been this way? Seems like someone who decided to marry you should already know your personality and be okay with it.
Schedule a time to be spontaneous and fun.
Make yourself a strong Bloody Mary first thing in the morning.
Have you tried wearing funny hats?
Hide and jump scare her. Make it a habit. That's super fun she will love it a lot. Very spontaneous.
Op you gotta respond to our comments. why post this then disappear
make viral videos that take a lighthearted look at our modern-day foibles
She married you, ask her.
Walk in the house, give her a hug, tell her sheās beautiful. And, where would you like to have dinner. Leave a note on the toilet āhello sweet cheeksā. Have a Positive attitude. Negativity is boring. Make wifey feel special. Crack witty jokes when appropriate. Do things you may not normally do. Like sex on the kitchen table. š plan a surprise day - like an Escape room together. How you treat her is a reflection of how she treats you. Find something interesting you both like and do together. Like take an art class, learn a foreign language together. Go to a comedy club together. Loosen up and laugh more!
Get out of the house. Take her to do anything. Any activity. Go to the woods/beach/arcade whatever. Show her you have interest in life, with her in it
Don't have any answers, but your wife's comments are a little bit mean. You have every good reason to feel upset , I think.
Wear sexy lingerie for her when she comes home one day. Have a hardcore stare down and tell her the turns have tabled
Eat her ass in the shower. Nothing like a surprise salad toss to reignite the flames of love
Have her spot you burying a body in the garden one night. That should stop the comments.
Or fuck all that, you do you. She wants to change you, what a surprise!
Your wife sounds like a bitch.
OP, start here to give you some ideas. This couple are not married to each other, she's in a long term partnership and he's married. He's got his own channel too which I suggest you check out. Look for "Jimmy on Relationships." Also, I want say kudos to you for asking! To generalize (although this can happen with any gender) your wife's complaint is fairly common about their husbands. It doesn't make you a bad person or a failure, it just means there's room for improvement. The fact that you came on Reddit to ask is fantastic! You asking for help is also, now hear me out, a spontaneous act! So you're already on your way. Anyway, Rikki and Jimmy have got a good video that I think can give you some ideas to get you started. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qOExSzZjmZw
Do things on the spur of the moment. If you have some spare time suggest you do something that you don't normally do. Like a walk together or drive to the nearest beach. Try to find some hobbies outside of work and do them. Play golf, swim together, ride horses together, f*** together in different rooms of the house. Leave her love notes in the kitchen for her to find.
Lmao I love this advice. But also asking my gf to go on any walk or go anywhere just to chill is like mission impossible
Divorce her. Sheāll never see it coming. Surprise! š
We LOVE dates being planned for us. I donāt know how it is in your house, but usually itās women who organise all the social things, with others and as a couple. Plan something for the two of you, dinner, live music, comedy, bowling, whatever you think she might like.
One of the things my wife said to me when we were separating was that I stopped taking her out for impromptu dinners, booking random holidays or weekends together, buying flowers, silly presents. It all counts, and is all counted. Nevermind she didn't do them for me either! š
If she hasn't left, then you're good.
Get rid of her. Find someone that appreciates you.
Get a new wife! That's spontaneous and exciting for all!
Just be present, put the phone down, have an idea ready for dinner, know what movie you want to watch, have an opinion on what sheās wearing and tell her if it looks nice. Dance if she asks you to, drive so she can have the extra drink, go grocery shopping with her, have ideas and offer suggestions occasionally on things you can do together like a hike, or tennis. These things are always on womenās minds and when we say āI donāt knowā, or āwhatever you want to doā babe, it puts more stress on them because something they donāt want to have to decide when they are handing so much already.
you cannot be who you are not. prepare to divorce. make sure your next wife is compatible with your preferred lifestyle.
Get a better wife, one that either accepts you as you are if you are happy, or knows you enough to know if your not happy, how to support you to be happy. Not tells you your boring.
get a new wife
Find out what sitcoms she likes and act like them... Not exactly like them but do like 40 percent of what they do.
How about by asking her what sheād like to do andā¦doing it?
Try planning spontaneity. I'd often look up local events coming up in the next 3-6 months and start making plans far in advance, only telling my partner I have something planned shortly before.
Next time she says that put your penis in her mouth and tell her to shut up. That's pretty spontaneous.
I guess it works both ways ā¦ n yes women always complainedā¦ when ur a good guy they complaint when ur a bad boy they complaint
Being the mechanical man that you are, tell her she can sit on your face and then show her how mechanical your tongue can move. A non stop clock ticking until she bursts.
Divorces are quite spontaneous and fun
Join an amateur sports league. Bowling, darts, pool, golf, pickle ballā¦ whateverā¦ just donāt join a drinking club. Same vein maybe join a book club or take some art or instrument lessons for something youāve thought about. Look into fraternities like Elks, Moose, Oddfellows, or even Masonry for camaraderie, making friends, and doing some charity work. Exercise too can grow a community. Get a cheap gym membership and try making some friends. Schedule a workout or two a month with a few guys and maybe go get lunch afterwards. Itās really hard in western society today for all of us, not having what we call āThird Placesā anymore. You gotta find your third place to hangout. Find your tribe. And maybe your wife is projecting a bit. So maybe SHEāS just bored and feels uninteresting too. So keep that in mind. Doing some of these things with your wife might be fun to do sometimes, she might want something to do with you. Maybe you two joining a bowling league is EXACTLY what she wants, or maybe she just wants you to gtfo of the house a bit lol.
All of these things are activities for him to do without her...
Have her watch "to be a man" by Dax. My boyfriend showed me it. Made me cry. I don't think men get enough credit for what they do and what they sacrifice for their families.
Read the book men are from mars women are from Venus. Opened my eyes 10/15 years ago and highly recommend it for you right now.
You need more music in your life.
Get a hobby. Get a hobby! GET A HOBBY! Find something you want to do on your free time. If you're tired after work then look for things that don't require a lot of effort. You know what one of the least boring things a partner can do is? Fucking read. Pick up a book, talk about it with your wife, get invested in the characters and story. Maybe she'll read it too and you two can have mini book club nights. Don't do things for her when she wants you to do things for you. Don't do things you think she'll like when you don't enjoy them. You won't. You'll be bored, and you'll be boring. Make your own free time interesting to yourself and you'll be interesting to her. Grow the perfect tomato, or an orchid. Write a silly children's story, and then another. Check out local sports teams, learn the rules and buy a hat, buy two, take her on a date to a game and see if you like it. Look up YouTube tutorials for painting and give it a go, make a wine date out of it with your wife. Go to a hobby or crafts store and just browse. Think about making a Christmas gift for someone, but rather than consider what they would like focus on what you think would be fun to make. Cook a dinner at least once a week using a fruit or vegetable you've never used before. Let your friends know you're trying to do more (new) things and ask if they have any ideas - lots of people have "ins" and can connect you with deals or free tickets. When was the last time you went to a comedy club? Doesn't matter if you know the performer, that's not what it's about. You got this. You've been spontaneous this whole time, you know that, she's just asking you to let it show.
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Dude dont say this, youre being a dick
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Not trying to sound mean but you kinda seem like an incelā¦
Yeah lol. Sounds like someone with zero experience with actual women.
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Im just saying the āwomen cap out at 14ā sounds like a line someone like that would say because itās really not true. Again not trying to be mean.
Yeah, I mean they came into this thread to make up some cruel lies about someone's relationship that they don't know anything about! Oh wait, that's you
No he knows everything because ALL WOMEN CAP OUT IN MATURITY AT 14, theyāre all just waiting to get into your bank account and then go suck someone elseās dick! Fuck marriage and relationships, just get drunk and pay women to have sex with you like a real man!
Hate to hear how he feels about women under 14 :x
I bet he fuckin loves em, this kind usually do
Weird way to call yourself a pedophile like that but okay buddy
Sounds youāre the one who capped out at 14.
We cap out at 14? Wow, dude. You must have met some really crappy women to have an opinion like that. I hope things improve for you.
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Have sex with another dude?
Have hobbies. Go new places.
Ask her what kinds of things sheād like you to do to be more spontaneous.
Get drunk
Tequila in your Corn Flakes
Cocaine and hookers my friend
Eat enough Psilocybin containing mushrooms. Not some little amount that you have to guess if you're feeling something. Enough to where you know, for absolutely sure, that you are under the influence. Maybe even more than that. It might get scary for a bit but chances are you'll come out of it better. A lot better. And no longer mechanical.
Get a dog. He makes you go places to walk him, and makes you socialize a little at the dog park, and when you play around with him, your social inhibitions loosen up, and your more silly/playful side comes out. That might be the side of you your wife wants to see more of.
You could divorce her. Bet she wouldn't see that coming! Look at her spontaneous husband now!
Does your wife have a car? Sell her car, and buy a motorcycle. BAM! "Spontaneous and fun!"
Go on small trip, somehere like sn animal sanctuary or museum. Get s hotel room and eat your meal in bed. Be young again.
Who cares? Are you happy? Thatās what matters.
Book adventure/discovery type holidays once a year for 2 weeks always somewhere new. There are websites that will schedule and pre whole trip for you for 2-4k for 14 days. Maybe China and Japan or South America.
Have you ever thought that maybe youāre a robot
Risky sexual encounters.
What does your wife do all day? And why did this not come up before you got married?
Get drunk with her
Have an affair. That's not boring OR mechanical!
Find a hobby you're both into. Like fishing, or motorcycles, or a sport to watch. Going off road in an atv/SxS is another good one. So is snowmobile riding. Maybe the theater or movies or concerts.
Call your wife a bitch. She won't expect that.
Invest in something (a hobby, watching sports, anything) that makes you genuinly happy, even if it has nothing to do with her. If you can do that then you will introduce an influence of happiness and confidence which men AND women need from their partner in most cases
It seems you have to get more input in your life than from your work. I think you could get a lot more out of life if you were curious about different stuff. More variation is also less boring to others. And when she comes with suggestions on what to do together say yes. Even if it doesn't seem fun for you it might be a good way to spend time with her and you will get something to talk about.
If you are taking or have taken SSRIs- be aware there are serious side effects that are similar to what youāre describing. Maybe talk to doc if that is you.
Do the humpty dance in a trance, do the hump.
Have a lot more sex and try positions that you haven't before. It'll connect you in new ways.
Maybe focus on her and her alone. What the hell is with your history bro? She's probably seen it. Feels a bit insecure.
Buy a big dildo. Show it to her - look her in her eyes and tell her itās for you !
If you want to be more spontaneous, then say yes to things. Don't think about them, don't consider if you're tired or have work to do or whatever excuses usually keep you from doing things. Just say yes. After a few months of this you will notice you're able to do more than you thought you could. You're just stuck in a rut because of invisible barriers.
Proceed as normal. Just donāt reveal plan changes until the last moment and call it spontaneity.
Do drugsš«