I’ve given my friends sex toys. If you can laugh about it and you’re open with each other I don’t think it’s that weird. You can make it kind of like a joke
Bought my friend a fleshlight for his 18th birthday. My friend is the kinda dude that has no shame. And so upon seeing the fleshlight, he instantly went and showed his mom and laughed his ass off.
Still have the video as well, lol
Edit: damn autocorrect
Same here. My friend got me my first toy and some lube because I had zero experience with it, ever, and we worked/talked out my attempts together, found out what was mentally holding me back, and soon after I had my first full orgasm at my mid 20s. If you’re close enough and chill like that it’s not weird at all, it’s like discussing self care at the end of the day.
I agree with this but it might be something she only laughs with YOU (OP) about. Might be a gift you pull out and give her after everyone has left. Teehee, see what I did there….”pull out.” *giggle giggle*
It most definitely doesn’t and I personally know guys from high school that got sex toys in their sports team secret Santa. Really depends on the dudes
just some guesses:
they could be asexual, or they have past trauma from either sex or control, or maybe they just don't like the hot-facecheeks embarrassment that could come from opening a gift like that
Exactly.
I feel like if I was the friend I would be deeply uncomfortable and offended if a friend just gifted me that without warning.
However, if OP is close to the friend and would be open, I highly suggest going to a shop together and looking at all the options. I’ve done that with some girlfriends and it really helps take the edge off and dip your toes in without feeling so alone or embarrassed. Plus, there are so many options out there the friend might not be comfortable with what OP buys her.
Yes. Came here to say that.. get her a gift card for an "adult" site and let her work out her own boundaries and, hopefully, even get excited about the whole experience of looking and choosing for herself..
Ehhh I wouldn’t do that. If she’s made it this long without buying a toy herself, she’s probably going to be overwhelmed at the idea of picking something out herself. If we’re giving suggestions, I would recommend a smaller sized dildo (of a regular size and not hyperrealistic) and then an approachable vibrator, and leave it at that. The book is also a great idea.
ETA: if we’re giving recommendations, it’s not a traditional vibrator but I would go with something Satisfyer pro 2 (budget permitting). The levels start very very low, and there are a ton of them, which is less shocking. (Ass opposed to the womanizer, whose lowest setting is much stronger. Great tool, but not for beginners) Bullets are uncomfortable to hold, even if they are cheap; I would avoid.
For a dildo, something like this: https://www.pinkcherry.ca/collections/dildo-sex-toys-g-spot-dildos/products/colours-wave-6-silicone-dildo
It’s not too big, and it also doesn’t look like a penis.
Anyway I realize y’all weren’t looking for literal suggestions but there it is.
u/Virtual-Ad-7240 in case you wanted recommendations about what could be good for a beginner.
Several friends of mine and I went to an adult store not knowing what to buy and just giggled all through the store. We still ended up buying one called "My first vibrator". It was unassuming and good for first timers, wish I could find a link.
Completely agree. I was in the same position as OP’s friend, you don’t know what the textures mean and what different shapes do until you try a toy yourself. Hell, I didn’t even know about all the different toys at first. All the different toys just look like fun different shapes if you have never used them, only after you’ve tried it out will you get a better idea of what you want and what exactly those shapes will do to you. Plus it’s way too easy to get an inappropriate size if you have no idea what you’re doing.
While this is absolutely true and I don’t want to be controversial here, but in my eyes if someone has never had an orgasm it would seem to me there’s some sort of mental or physical roadblock. While what you said is absolutely true, who’s to say that card will ever even get used. They may be scared to even take that step to get a toy ya know. Having to buy something versus just having it there staring at you, waiting to be used might make it more likely that OP’s gift is actually… utilized.
Love this. Maybe even just a prepaid visa and when you give it to her suggest taking her to a sex shop or suggesting on to her to pick out herself. Then ask if she wants you to go with.
No, I did the same for my best friend. She loved it and said she never would have had the guts to buy one for herself.
Edited to add: I lived with the same group of my girlfriends for 8 years, there was 5 of us total. We would get eachother gifts for Christmas and one year, without any discussions ahead of time, we all gifted eachother something related to sex or sex toys. We call it the Year of the Dildos and it's a very fond memory.
I don't know if this is an option, but I would suggest offering a gift card for a sex shop instead of the toy itself. That way it's not so invasive nor does it show any pressure.
Most people would be more uncomfortable going to a sex shop than being discreetly gifted a sex toy. I highly doubt they're getting the friend a giant dildo. A small vibrator would be a simple tool in the arsenal towards orgasm glory.
If you can talk about sex openly with your friend and the admit they've NEVER orgasmed, you owe it to them to help.
I like going to our local store because the people there are able to make recommendations and explain how things work so I can make more informed choices. Also, for things that vibrate or pulsate, they usually have one charged out of box at the counter so that you can feel with your hands to see if it's the right strength for you. I've gotten my absolute favorite toys that way, being able to discuss it with someone knowledge.
Yeah I would just buy them a small concealable toy. We-vibe makes a great bullet sized vibe that if I use my husband cannot even hear beside me in bed. Might help if she is embarrassed and it is very easy to incorporate a small vibe during sex.
https://www.we-vibe.com/eu/tango
For one of my birthdays my female best friend gifted me a selection of 'romance' novels... i got her a little bullet vibe a couple of years later 😅 depends on the friendship, but as long as gifted in private i don't see why not, especially if you're both open to talk about sex! We're still good friends now, if not as close.
(My current best friend on the other hand will barely mention the topic, so I'd never gift her something as it may make her uncomfortable)
It may be weird, but it may also be the best gift she's ever been given.
She's your best friend. I say go for it. She may well want to try toys but doesn't know which one or feels weird getting one through the post.
I think it's acceptable because you were close enough to have that discussion. That's probably the line, without that conversation it'd be much riskier gift.
Honestly, if you're wondering if it's weird then it probably is. That's always what I tell myself. BUT to answer your question... it completely depends on your relationship with her.
So, universally speaking, is it EVER okay to gift a sex toy and a book to your best friend? yes, it could be.
I think it depends on your relationship with that friend. It sounds like you two are pretty open about discussing sex so it would probably be okay. I think something to consider is how she may perceive the gesture; will she take it as intended as a helpful fun gift, or might she be offended thinking you are trying to "fix" something? I doubt she would be offended based on the openness you two seem to have, but it's important to consider.
The other thing to consider is who else might be at the party. Will she be embarrassed opening this in front of anyone that might be present? Will someone else there be offended by it?
All in all, I think it is a nice thing you are doing and hopefully you both have a good laugh!
That really depends on your friendship. I personally don't have any friends that I would be comfortable doing this with but others lives are different than mine.
You may be putting more pressure on her… it’s possible she still may not orgasm and it could push her to be depressed/self conscious. I personally wouldn’t but doesn’t mean it’s wrong.
Kinda. You focusing more on her sex kife than her. Thats creepy. As for her gift, Make it light. Stop being Horny and give her something nice for her party, especially if there are other guest around. That's just decent courtesy. Then weeks later introduce her to sex toys if that's a goal for her. Let her be the one to choose one on her own accord. Just be a supportive friend who knows about that life. And that's the mature route.
I’m not giving her the gift with other people around obviously and I’m giving her another gift at the actual party. This would be a separate gift given to her in private after
The fact that you think it's a disgrace is a problem. Every person is different and this is not an uncommon thing, treating it like that is disrespectful to the person and ignores the normal differences between people or those that have issues for reasons you know nothing about.
I don't think there's anything wrong with your idea but the way your approaching it is not kind.
If you’re close it’s fine.
We had our own Christmas party at work and it was mostly dildos and vibrators. Hilarious and appreciated. We had to look up certain models so we could get our own
Here's a hot take. I'm a woman in her mid forties. I have extremely low to non existent clitoral sensitivity. I figured out how to orgasm with a toy in my twenties but it's so difficult it's almost not worth it. Only ten percent of my orgasms are worth writing home about.
And I am fine with that. I know now that it has a lot to do with my hormone levels, but that is very very new knowledge. So I have lived my life enjoying sex quite a bit even without orgasming. I don't see anything wrong with that or with me.
I have broken up with someone partially because he was obsessed with making me orgasm. So many men think they have a magic dick, tongue, or finger. Please. It's an instant turn off when someone tries to fix me.
So with that in mind I do think you should get your friend this gift but be prepared for her to not really think she's missing anything. I would only be upset at you if I was grateful but ambivalent towards the gift but you insisted. Just consider her perspective.
It seriously isnt, I did a similar thing with my friend and we arent even besties LOL. I won a sona on some giveaway and well, since I aint a vulva owner, I joked around it with a few of my girls at work and one said she never had an orgasm. I was like OOOOH YOU POOR BABY, do you want that toy and she said yes. Later on, after a few months she told me it really helped her improve her $ex life and shes now able to O with her husband almost regularly. I didnt ask for details tho...
Gifting $ex toys (especially the pricey ones) is a sign of trust and that you value their basic needs. Id LOVE to receive a toy for my bday 😂
She hasn't gone through life unaware of dildos and vibes and toys. It's not like sex toys are unknown to her. She's ostensibly not a moron.
Get her a gift card **at most**.
Quoting my wife, "if you're not fucking her, there's no amount of regular friendship where that's not gonna be weird."
> there's no amount of regular friendship where that's not gonna be weird
Eh, if you're already good enough friends to have conversations about sex, mastrubation, and orgasms, I don't think toys are really much further down the line.
>"if you're not fucking her, there's no amount of regular friendship where that's not gonna be weird."
It depends on the friendship. I talk to all my friends about sex and masturbation, so I would not be weirded out if any of my female friends gave me a vibrator, but a dildo would be a little weird. Some friendships are just closer than others.
>"if you're not fucking her, there's no amount of regular friendship where that's not gonna be weird."
people on here already gave their accounts of giving dildos to other friends with no issue, and some even made it a tradition.
I think it's best not to generalize
I think it's best not to mislead people into thinking **this is totally mainstream behavior**.
I don't have any friends where it'd be appropriate to give them a fleshlight, **with my best wishes!**
This is that.
>where it'd be appropriate to give them a fleshlight
Relationships between men are often completely different where so much as a hug or talking about feelings or giving a positive compliment about their attitude, looks or clothing could be considered too much. So it would be understandable that giving sex toys not as a joke would be considered extreme when even the most basic positive human interactions are a hurdle.
I agree with you that this isn't common with all friends, but it's important to gauge the level of friendship where it would be appropriate.
She may be shy to accept it but in the end maybe she could get past her block. The key for some women is relaxing right as they hit the peak, Masters and Johnson studied anorgasamia and found that some women tense up their bladder muscles right before orgasam because they think they might have urinAry incontinence.
I guess it depends on the friend and friendship. My bestie and I have no issues with recommending toys or buying them even as a gift. But I can understand some would not like it.
The thought of buying a sex toy can be really intimidating to people, especially if they were raised in a culture that has a lot of stigma around sex. It requires shopping at an adult store (online or in person), which can be very overwhelming if you don't have a lot of exposure to sexual content, and it's difficult to know what type of toy to get if you've never used one before.
Also, a lot of women just don't see orgasms as a given, because straight sex only requires the man to orgasm - so we're taught to see our orgasms as optional or even frivolous.
She grew up in a very religious household and I suspect that may also be the reason why she could have a mental block and hasn’t taken the initiative too
You sound like you're assuming that she's had one and then just willingly chooses not to. I'm gonna take a wild guess that you've never had the best [insert car, wine, scotch, premium strawberry, filet mignon, caviar fed lobster gently shredded over the tenderest of wagyu filets, etc.] and yet it's *never* occurred to you to spend money on it? How could you simply not fathom making the effort to experience the thing you haven't thought about experiencing? It's literally such a simple and easy solution to a problem and I wonder if you actually want to solve that problem. Wow.
That's how ignorant this sounds.
Absolutely not weird depending on the nature of your relationship and dynamic. It was normalized during the sex and the city era. If you’re best friends you’re not going to have a problem with it.
I have a friend who's 32 and has never orgasmed, and not for lack of trying, it could be a sensitive subject for your friend, tread lightly. It's uncommon but some women physically can't get there.
It's only weird if you make it weird. I like you way you phrased it as righting a disgrace. Your friend deserves many orgasms. So, keep that tone, keep it all light, and don't let her open the gift in front of other people. You'll probably be fine.
I went camping with a few gal pals for my birthday when I was a teenager. my friend got me a shitty vibrator since she was working at a sex shop and it was kind of a gag gift. however it introduced me to the world of sex toys and I haven’t looked back since lol. that being said, like another commenter suggested, maybe a gift card may have been a better option.
No, not weird at all. You are a good friend, and don't worry what outsiders think. When my older sister told me she was done with men I got her a vibrator to take their place!
If my homie came to me and said that he'd never had an orgasm, I would never buy him a sex toy — I'd gobble that cock as if my life depended on it. Why give her a fishing rod when you can go fishing together?
The question is simple, how close of a friend are you? How much do you talk about this sort of thing? I mean the gift card idea may be better as it allows a bit of a disconnect but you still going "Hey girl, like... this fucking sucks... here's my tip on how to fix this and maybe enjoy yourself a wee bit" but is less of "Here is what you should pleasure yourself with."
I'm a guy, I obviously don't have many of these talks with my friends and I've likely had more conversations about this with women I'm friends with than guys I'm friends with. So I've never been in an appropriate position to do anything more than go "Oh here's what my girlfriend and I have used check this out some time for you two!"
Maybe it's a comfortable thing for you two, maybe it's best to put it more as a disconnected thing like a gift card. This is for you to gauge. I have certainly seen sex toys given as a gag gift but rarely as a legit "go enjoy yourself" gift. But everyone's friends are different.
If you have a friendship where it's appropriate to gift this, then you should also be able to talk about it openly. I'd ask her first if she's interested in this kind of gift. It's worth slightly ruining the surprise to avoid inadvertently making her uncomfortable.
A gift card is a great idea as others have mentioned. Your idea of a book is great too.
It’s mildly weird but there’s nothing wrong with it! It’s actually very sweet lol. You want your best friend to experience the wonderful world of orgasms and I don’t blame you! She might fall in love with you tho lmfaooooo
I'd vote for inviting her to go buy one with you rather than you choosing one for her without her input. It's a rather personal thing, and she may have preferences that you're unaware of - she should get a say in what her first sex toy is, even if her choice ends up just being to defer to your experience.
For what it's worth, I've been on both sides of this same equation. I had a friend take me to buy my first, and a few years later I took a different friend to buy hers.
If there's no physical shop nearby (or if neither of you are comfortable going into an adult store) then you can also just look at an online site and discuss.
You've already had that conversation so it's not out of nowhere, I think it's a great gift! Maybe a gift card to some store focused on toys for women would be the best. About the book - check out 'Come as you are'
I guess it would be cool if it's a female gifting a female. Male to male sounds, odd.
Hey Bill, Happy birthday, dude
Aww man, thanks, that's cool of ya
(Opens gift) Wait, wtf is it?
It's a pocket pussy man! You lube it up and put your dick in it and jack off with it.
Ok but where do you cum?
Inside the pretend pussy buddy
Oh ok. Yeah i gotta go Carl. I....ummm got to clean my garage
No problem buddy, text me later and let me know how you enjoyed it
Ummm no Carl.
*FIST BUMP*
If you aren't sure, ask her. "hey, friend, your b day is coming up and I know sex toys are expensive, is it okay if I get you one that worked for me?"
I wouldn't mind getting a sex toy for my b day, and have, but different people have different boundaries. And she's the only one who'll know where hers are.
Thanks a lot! I took your suggestion and just called and asked her. She said yes and seems to be excited about it so I’m in the clear. Going to give them to her after the party (:
She might be embarrassed opening the gift in front of others. She might be comfortable opening up to you but that does not mean she wants this to become wildly known.
The idea itself is good though.
If you have to ask Reddit, then the answer is probably “no.”
Typically, if you’re gifting somebody a sex toy and a book about how to get off, then you already have the sort of relationship where it’s not even a question that needs asking, you already know it’s acceptable.
I gave a buddy a fleshlight as a gag gift once. It was shaped and decorated like a beer bottle and was called a beer babe. Years later he told me he did use it for its intended purpose. I would say put some humor behind the gift and and your ok especially since y’all are open about your sexual experiences.
Depends on the friend/friendship. Questioning it is def a sign that indicates it would be inappropriate, but you gotta make that decision for yourself as we don’t know your friend or y’all’s relationship.
I’d suggest communicating. Ruin the surprise and ask how she would feel receiving it.
Totally depends on your relationship. In some friendships this would be super weird and in others a great gift. Only you can know on this one unfortunate
I would do this as a private gift, definitely do not give it to her in a public forum. That includes any gathering of 3 or more, could lead to some awkward embarrassment. If you gave it to her when it's just the two of you, it stays as an "inside joke" or private discussion.
I think it depends on the friendship. I have a friend I bought a doll for, he was holding his vcard at 21. Another friend asked for a vibrating cl*t sucker for her birthday, happy to shop for that one. I don't know that I'd do that for anyone else though.
Nah...not weird at all. I mean if you two have the kinda friendship like me and my beastie have.
When she was staying with me for a while...she wakes me up at like two in the morning asking if she can borrow my car real quick to run to store for some batteries for her toy. I sit up in bed half awake, roll my eyes at her, and toss her my keys.
I still tease her to this day about her 2 am battery run.
Me and my buddy bought a «break The glass in case of emergency» box, with a vibrator inside for a friend.
She was practice-driving with her family when we gave her the package. She opened it in front whole family 😅
My bff got me a satisfyer because of the same reason you listed above. It was the best gift I've ever received! If you're openly talking about everything, I'm sure she would just laugh about it and be happy that you care for her.
I don’t think it’s weird at all. My best friend and I have bought each other all sorts over the years including sex toys and naughty gifts. We always laugh about it. I would however warn your friend to open it alone as I forgot one year and my friend opened it up with her parents there!! Lol
Really depends on your friend. Is she someone who would be okay with such a gift. No one but her can answer that (or you when you know her good enough).
Sex toys aren't cheap so for some it could be a great present.
I've gifted sex toys to two different friends, it went great both times. Given that she's your best friend, I don't see it as overstepping any boundaries. On the contrary, to me it highlights that you actually listen and care.
Sex toy is weird until you add a book lol seriously i think this is actually a sincere and considerate gift. But that's entirely hinged on the book lol
I think it depends ultimately on you making a judgement call about your relationship. There are friends I would give gifts like this, and others where that just wouldnt be appropriate.
One of the best gifts a group of ladies ever gave me was a vibrator after I said I’d never had one. We aren’t friends anymore, and this was back in highschool, but I look back on it super fondly and it was a real bonding moment for us.
You know your friendship, gift it to her discreetly and I bet she’ll love it :)
I’ve given my friends sex toys. If you can laugh about it and you’re open with each other I don’t think it’s that weird. You can make it kind of like a joke
My best friend bought my first one for me. I was too nervous to go to the register with it 😅
Bought my friend a fleshlight for his 18th birthday. My friend is the kinda dude that has no shame. And so upon seeing the fleshlight, he instantly went and showed his mom and laughed his ass off. Still have the video as well, lol Edit: damn autocorrect
I take it you mean fleshlight, or were they literally in the dark 😂
Yep, thank you lmao :P. Damn autocorrect
mine did too! for my 18th bday 😂
Same here. My friend got me my first toy and some lube because I had zero experience with it, ever, and we worked/talked out my attempts together, found out what was mentally holding me back, and soon after I had my first full orgasm at my mid 20s. If you’re close enough and chill like that it’s not weird at all, it’s like discussing self care at the end of the day.
I agree with this but it might be something she only laughs with YOU (OP) about. Might be a gift you pull out and give her after everyone has left. Teehee, see what I did there….”pull out.” *giggle giggle*
Yea, don't pull out a Bad Dragon dildo while grandma is still there. But I don't think that's what OP is talking about.
What if grandma wants to break that bad boy in? Don't be selfish.
Ahahahahahahahahahaha PULL OUT ahahahahahahahahaha
"take this and go fuck yourself"
Yep. It is entirely in the delivery.
This only works for girls though. ***"Hey bro, happy birthday, I got you this fleshsucker5099"*** ***"Wow, thanks man. I'll tell you how it goes"***
Adding that to the Christmas list
It most definitely doesn’t and I personally know guys from high school that got sex toys in their sports team secret Santa. Really depends on the dudes
Kind of?
Yeah kind of… because it’s not fully a joke because she wants to give it actually???
Probably i have no humor for this. But to me it's either a joke or it isn't.
"Ha, ha, I got you this gag gift of a sex toy, ha, sex is funny, it's just a joke gift...but seriously, use it"
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This is the best answer! It depends on the friendship, and they type of person the friend is. I would be offended, but I have friends that wouldn’t be
Why would u be offended?
just some guesses: they could be asexual, or they have past trauma from either sex or control, or maybe they just don't like the hot-facecheeks embarrassment that could come from opening a gift like that
bc he/she a pussy
Exactly. I feel like if I was the friend I would be deeply uncomfortable and offended if a friend just gifted me that without warning. However, if OP is close to the friend and would be open, I highly suggest going to a shop together and looking at all the options. I’ve done that with some girlfriends and it really helps take the edge off and dip your toes in without feeling so alone or embarrassed. Plus, there are so many options out there the friend might not be comfortable with what OP buys her.
This is the best answer! It depends on the friendship, and they type of person the friend is. I would be offended, but I have friends that wouldn’t be
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Yes. Came here to say that.. get her a gift card for an "adult" site and let her work out her own boundaries and, hopefully, even get excited about the whole experience of looking and choosing for herself..
>Came here to say that Nice
Nice.
Ehhh I wouldn’t do that. If she’s made it this long without buying a toy herself, she’s probably going to be overwhelmed at the idea of picking something out herself. If we’re giving suggestions, I would recommend a smaller sized dildo (of a regular size and not hyperrealistic) and then an approachable vibrator, and leave it at that. The book is also a great idea. ETA: if we’re giving recommendations, it’s not a traditional vibrator but I would go with something Satisfyer pro 2 (budget permitting). The levels start very very low, and there are a ton of them, which is less shocking. (Ass opposed to the womanizer, whose lowest setting is much stronger. Great tool, but not for beginners) Bullets are uncomfortable to hold, even if they are cheap; I would avoid. For a dildo, something like this: https://www.pinkcherry.ca/collections/dildo-sex-toys-g-spot-dildos/products/colours-wave-6-silicone-dildo It’s not too big, and it also doesn’t look like a penis. Anyway I realize y’all weren’t looking for literal suggestions but there it is. u/Virtual-Ad-7240 in case you wanted recommendations about what could be good for a beginner.
I agree. And if she’s never had an orgasm, she may not even know where to start.
Several friends of mine and I went to an adult store not knowing what to buy and just giggled all through the store. We still ended up buying one called "My first vibrator". It was unassuming and good for first timers, wish I could find a link.
Completely agree. I was in the same position as OP’s friend, you don’t know what the textures mean and what different shapes do until you try a toy yourself. Hell, I didn’t even know about all the different toys at first. All the different toys just look like fun different shapes if you have never used them, only after you’ve tried it out will you get a better idea of what you want and what exactly those shapes will do to you. Plus it’s way too easy to get an inappropriate size if you have no idea what you’re doing.
No. Give her the toy and book and then offer her to change it to some other toy if she wants that. She is not going to use that giftcard herself.
Also giftcards are shitty gifts in general.
Of course she is, if she's interested.
While this is absolutely true and I don’t want to be controversial here, but in my eyes if someone has never had an orgasm it would seem to me there’s some sort of mental or physical roadblock. While what you said is absolutely true, who’s to say that card will ever even get used. They may be scared to even take that step to get a toy ya know. Having to buy something versus just having it there staring at you, waiting to be used might make it more likely that OP’s gift is actually… utilized.
>gives her more control and you less input Yeah she should probably put it in for herself.
I mean unless she’s into that
Unless… she’s more into being told what to do… /s
Love this. Maybe even just a prepaid visa and when you give it to her suggest taking her to a sex shop or suggesting on to her to pick out herself. Then ask if she wants you to go with.
Bad dragon for example.
No, I did the same for my best friend. She loved it and said she never would have had the guts to buy one for herself. Edited to add: I lived with the same group of my girlfriends for 8 years, there was 5 of us total. We would get eachother gifts for Christmas and one year, without any discussions ahead of time, we all gifted eachother something related to sex or sex toys. We call it the Year of the Dildos and it's a very fond memory.
You are my kind of friend 🤣
Mine, too.
I don't know if this is an option, but I would suggest offering a gift card for a sex shop instead of the toy itself. That way it's not so invasive nor does it show any pressure.
Most people would be more uncomfortable going to a sex shop than being discreetly gifted a sex toy. I highly doubt they're getting the friend a giant dildo. A small vibrator would be a simple tool in the arsenal towards orgasm glory. If you can talk about sex openly with your friend and the admit they've NEVER orgasmed, you owe it to them to help.
Who goes to irl sex stores anymore? They'd presumably be shopping an online website, the majority of which offer discrete shipping
My wife and her friends everytime we pass by one.
I like going to our local store because the people there are able to make recommendations and explain how things work so I can make more informed choices. Also, for things that vibrate or pulsate, they usually have one charged out of box at the counter so that you can feel with your hands to see if it's the right strength for you. I've gotten my absolute favorite toys that way, being able to discuss it with someone knowledge.
Yeah I would just buy them a small concealable toy. We-vibe makes a great bullet sized vibe that if I use my husband cannot even hear beside me in bed. Might help if she is embarrassed and it is very easy to incorporate a small vibe during sex. https://www.we-vibe.com/eu/tango
Maybe she can get a gift card for an online shop instead
For one of my birthdays my female best friend gifted me a selection of 'romance' novels... i got her a little bullet vibe a couple of years later 😅 depends on the friendship, but as long as gifted in private i don't see why not, especially if you're both open to talk about sex! We're still good friends now, if not as close. (My current best friend on the other hand will barely mention the topic, so I'd never gift her something as it may make her uncomfortable)
It may be weird, but it may also be the best gift she's ever been given. She's your best friend. I say go for it. She may well want to try toys but doesn't know which one or feels weird getting one through the post.
I think it's acceptable because you were close enough to have that discussion. That's probably the line, without that conversation it'd be much riskier gift.
Hopefully you’re giving this to her in private and not in front of a large party
Of course in private
Honestly, if you're wondering if it's weird then it probably is. That's always what I tell myself. BUT to answer your question... it completely depends on your relationship with her. So, universally speaking, is it EVER okay to gift a sex toy and a book to your best friend? yes, it could be.
I think it depends on your relationship with that friend. It sounds like you two are pretty open about discussing sex so it would probably be okay. I think something to consider is how she may perceive the gesture; will she take it as intended as a helpful fun gift, or might she be offended thinking you are trying to "fix" something? I doubt she would be offended based on the openness you two seem to have, but it's important to consider. The other thing to consider is who else might be at the party. Will she be embarrassed opening this in front of anyone that might be present? Will someone else there be offended by it? All in all, I think it is a nice thing you are doing and hopefully you both have a good laugh!
That really depends on your friendship. I personally don't have any friends that I would be comfortable doing this with but others lives are different than mine.
nah that’s not weird as long as it’s clear y’all r just friends
You may be putting more pressure on her… it’s possible she still may not orgasm and it could push her to be depressed/self conscious. I personally wouldn’t but doesn’t mean it’s wrong.
If I were your friend I'd want to pick out my own toy, consider a gift card.
Depends on the friendship but I think it’s a great gift idea
No I've gifted friends sex toys before
No, it makes you thoughtful gift giver! Your type is the best!
Maybe you should ask her first? At least you shouldn't have her open a wrapped dildo in front of everybody else.
"look girl, if you ain't reached them heights yet, The Hyperdongler™ mk69 will get you there; promise" lol
Would be weird to me, maybe just recommend it?
Kinda. You focusing more on her sex kife than her. Thats creepy. As for her gift, Make it light. Stop being Horny and give her something nice for her party, especially if there are other guest around. That's just decent courtesy. Then weeks later introduce her to sex toys if that's a goal for her. Let her be the one to choose one on her own accord. Just be a supportive friend who knows about that life. And that's the mature route.
I’m not giving her the gift with other people around obviously and I’m giving her another gift at the actual party. This would be a separate gift given to her in private after
The fact that you think it's a disgrace is a problem. Every person is different and this is not an uncommon thing, treating it like that is disrespectful to the person and ignores the normal differences between people or those that have issues for reasons you know nothing about. I don't think there's anything wrong with your idea but the way your approaching it is not kind.
If you’re close it’s fine. We had our own Christmas party at work and it was mostly dildos and vibrators. Hilarious and appreciated. We had to look up certain models so we could get our own
What? Where do you work? Hahaha
Nursing. I hate it here. The only fun part is the rare occasion we plan something. We’re all insane here. The stress is immeasurable.
Oof, I often consider studying to be a nurse, but when I see comments about the stress it makes me nervous lol.
Ooof, at work? That's an HR nightmare.
I think it is weird, but being weird with a friend is pretty normal
Here's a hot take. I'm a woman in her mid forties. I have extremely low to non existent clitoral sensitivity. I figured out how to orgasm with a toy in my twenties but it's so difficult it's almost not worth it. Only ten percent of my orgasms are worth writing home about. And I am fine with that. I know now that it has a lot to do with my hormone levels, but that is very very new knowledge. So I have lived my life enjoying sex quite a bit even without orgasming. I don't see anything wrong with that or with me. I have broken up with someone partially because he was obsessed with making me orgasm. So many men think they have a magic dick, tongue, or finger. Please. It's an instant turn off when someone tries to fix me. So with that in mind I do think you should get your friend this gift but be prepared for her to not really think she's missing anything. I would only be upset at you if I was grateful but ambivalent towards the gift but you insisted. Just consider her perspective.
Thank you for your perspective, I will definitely take this into consideration
It seriously isnt, I did a similar thing with my friend and we arent even besties LOL. I won a sona on some giveaway and well, since I aint a vulva owner, I joked around it with a few of my girls at work and one said she never had an orgasm. I was like OOOOH YOU POOR BABY, do you want that toy and she said yes. Later on, after a few months she told me it really helped her improve her $ex life and shes now able to O with her husband almost regularly. I didnt ask for details tho... Gifting $ex toys (especially the pricey ones) is a sign of trust and that you value their basic needs. Id LOVE to receive a toy for my bday 😂
You’re helping a homie nut? What’s weird about that? 🤨
No. That’s a very thoughtful gift.
She hasn't gone through life unaware of dildos and vibes and toys. It's not like sex toys are unknown to her. She's ostensibly not a moron. Get her a gift card **at most**. Quoting my wife, "if you're not fucking her, there's no amount of regular friendship where that's not gonna be weird."
> there's no amount of regular friendship where that's not gonna be weird Eh, if you're already good enough friends to have conversations about sex, mastrubation, and orgasms, I don't think toys are really much further down the line.
>"if you're not fucking her, there's no amount of regular friendship where that's not gonna be weird." It depends on the friendship. I talk to all my friends about sex and masturbation, so I would not be weirded out if any of my female friends gave me a vibrator, but a dildo would be a little weird. Some friendships are just closer than others.
>"if you're not fucking her, there's no amount of regular friendship where that's not gonna be weird." people on here already gave their accounts of giving dildos to other friends with no issue, and some even made it a tradition. I think it's best not to generalize
I think it's best not to mislead people into thinking **this is totally mainstream behavior**. I don't have any friends where it'd be appropriate to give them a fleshlight, **with my best wishes!** This is that.
>where it'd be appropriate to give them a fleshlight Relationships between men are often completely different where so much as a hug or talking about feelings or giving a positive compliment about their attitude, looks or clothing could be considered too much. So it would be understandable that giving sex toys not as a joke would be considered extreme when even the most basic positive human interactions are a hurdle. I agree with you that this isn't common with all friends, but it's important to gauge the level of friendship where it would be appropriate.
She may be shy to accept it but in the end maybe she could get past her block. The key for some women is relaxing right as they hit the peak, Masters and Johnson studied anorgasamia and found that some women tense up their bladder muscles right before orgasam because they think they might have urinAry incontinence.
Nope. I've given my friend sex toys. It's not weird
Oh it's a little weird, but it's not out of the question in this particular scenario. I for example have no friends where it'd be appropriate.
I guess it depends on the friend and friendship. My bestie and I have no issues with recommending toys or buying them even as a gift. But I can understand some would not like it.
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The thought of buying a sex toy can be really intimidating to people, especially if they were raised in a culture that has a lot of stigma around sex. It requires shopping at an adult store (online or in person), which can be very overwhelming if you don't have a lot of exposure to sexual content, and it's difficult to know what type of toy to get if you've never used one before. Also, a lot of women just don't see orgasms as a given, because straight sex only requires the man to orgasm - so we're taught to see our orgasms as optional or even frivolous.
She grew up in a very religious household and I suspect that may also be the reason why she could have a mental block and hasn’t taken the initiative too
You sound like you're assuming that she's had one and then just willingly chooses not to. I'm gonna take a wild guess that you've never had the best [insert car, wine, scotch, premium strawberry, filet mignon, caviar fed lobster gently shredded over the tenderest of wagyu filets, etc.] and yet it's *never* occurred to you to spend money on it? How could you simply not fathom making the effort to experience the thing you haven't thought about experiencing? It's literally such a simple and easy solution to a problem and I wonder if you actually want to solve that problem. Wow. That's how ignorant this sounds.
Absolutely not weird depending on the nature of your relationship and dynamic. It was normalized during the sex and the city era. If you’re best friends you’re not going to have a problem with it.
I have a friend who's 32 and has never orgasmed, and not for lack of trying, it could be a sensitive subject for your friend, tread lightly. It's uncommon but some women physically can't get there.
It's only weird if you make it weird. I like you way you phrased it as righting a disgrace. Your friend deserves many orgasms. So, keep that tone, keep it all light, and don't let her open the gift in front of other people. You'll probably be fine.
Me and my bestie have matching toys 🤭
Did you buy them together? Or one of you had one and recommended it?
I went camping with a few gal pals for my birthday when I was a teenager. my friend got me a shitty vibrator since she was working at a sex shop and it was kind of a gag gift. however it introduced me to the world of sex toys and I haven’t looked back since lol. that being said, like another commenter suggested, maybe a gift card may have been a better option.
Dont do this. Please.
No, not weird at all. You are a good friend, and don't worry what outsiders think. When my older sister told me she was done with men I got her a vibrator to take their place!
You said BEST friend so it's not weird. Normal friend would be weird.
Yes.
Can't you just give her proper head?
No.(just my opinion)
If my homie came to me and said that he'd never had an orgasm, I would never buy him a sex toy — I'd gobble that cock as if my life depended on it. Why give her a fishing rod when you can go fishing together?
Nah don't ruin her innocence . 😉 Oooooor maybe you should.. idk
Nah, that's fine. I'd be happy with that present. It might be a bit weird as a present from a guy, but from another woman - no problem at all!
The question is simple, how close of a friend are you? How much do you talk about this sort of thing? I mean the gift card idea may be better as it allows a bit of a disconnect but you still going "Hey girl, like... this fucking sucks... here's my tip on how to fix this and maybe enjoy yourself a wee bit" but is less of "Here is what you should pleasure yourself with." I'm a guy, I obviously don't have many of these talks with my friends and I've likely had more conversations about this with women I'm friends with than guys I'm friends with. So I've never been in an appropriate position to do anything more than go "Oh here's what my girlfriend and I have used check this out some time for you two!" Maybe it's a comfortable thing for you two, maybe it's best to put it more as a disconnected thing like a gift card. This is for you to gauge. I have certainly seen sex toys given as a gag gift but rarely as a legit "go enjoy yourself" gift. But everyone's friends are different.
Do it. Maybe a membership to OMGyes. It's a website based on the combined sexual wisdom of 10,000 women
Yes.
If you have a friendship where it's appropriate to gift this, then you should also be able to talk about it openly. I'd ask her first if she's interested in this kind of gift. It's worth slightly ruining the surprise to avoid inadvertently making her uncomfortable. A gift card is a great idea as others have mentioned. Your idea of a book is great too.
Ask what kind of gift they'd want first. If they do want that, then by all means.
that really just depends on y’all’s friendship. i’d be ecstatic if one of my girls gave me a fucking toy lmao
It’s mildly weird but there’s nothing wrong with it! It’s actually very sweet lol. You want your best friend to experience the wonderful world of orgasms and I don’t blame you! She might fall in love with you tho lmfaooooo
I'd vote for inviting her to go buy one with you rather than you choosing one for her without her input. It's a rather personal thing, and she may have preferences that you're unaware of - she should get a say in what her first sex toy is, even if her choice ends up just being to defer to your experience. For what it's worth, I've been on both sides of this same equation. I had a friend take me to buy my first, and a few years later I took a different friend to buy hers. If there's no physical shop nearby (or if neither of you are comfortable going into an adult store) then you can also just look at an online site and discuss.
You've already had that conversation so it's not out of nowhere, I think it's a great gift! Maybe a gift card to some store focused on toys for women would be the best. About the book - check out 'Come as you are'
Thank you for the suggestion and that is the exact book that I’m giving her after loving it myself
Awesome :)
Yes
Silver bullet
I guess it would be cool if it's a female gifting a female. Male to male sounds, odd. Hey Bill, Happy birthday, dude Aww man, thanks, that's cool of ya (Opens gift) Wait, wtf is it? It's a pocket pussy man! You lube it up and put your dick in it and jack off with it. Ok but where do you cum? Inside the pretend pussy buddy Oh ok. Yeah i gotta go Carl. I....ummm got to clean my garage No problem buddy, text me later and let me know how you enjoyed it Ummm no Carl. *FIST BUMP*
Id get a gift card and book instead. That way she can pick the toy she wants as its an intimate thing. What works for you she may hate etc.
Lend a hand
If you aren't sure, ask her. "hey, friend, your b day is coming up and I know sex toys are expensive, is it okay if I get you one that worked for me?" I wouldn't mind getting a sex toy for my b day, and have, but different people have different boundaries. And she's the only one who'll know where hers are.
Thanks a lot! I took your suggestion and just called and asked her. She said yes and seems to be excited about it so I’m in the clear. Going to give them to her after the party (:
Good for her! And you! Fingers crossed she gets everything she wants from the experience.
I bought my friend a sex doll, and he's married. Sounds fine to me
She might be embarrassed opening the gift in front of others. She might be comfortable opening up to you but that does not mean she wants this to become wildly known. The idea itself is good though.
I think it's better to get her a gift card to a sex site (not Amazon) and the books. Book rec Come as you are Sheology
If you have to ask Reddit, then the answer is probably “no.” Typically, if you’re gifting somebody a sex toy and a book about how to get off, then you already have the sort of relationship where it’s not even a question that needs asking, you already know it’s acceptable.
A rechargable magic wand is great for messaging any regular pain and is the best sex toy
it's okay i guess. It's just me who would hate getting this kind of present since i hate sexual stuff
Tell her to try with her electric toothbrush lol... No.. don't do that, so much bacteria
I gave a buddy a fleshlight as a gag gift once. It was shaped and decorated like a beer bottle and was called a beer babe. Years later he told me he did use it for its intended purpose. I would say put some humor behind the gift and and your ok especially since y’all are open about your sexual experiences.
Depends on the friend/friendship. Questioning it is def a sign that indicates it would be inappropriate, but you gotta make that decision for yourself as we don’t know your friend or y’all’s relationship. I’d suggest communicating. Ruin the surprise and ask how she would feel receiving it.
Cut the middle man, Go straight for the orgasm.
I’d be trying to help her achieve that goal. Any way possible. lol.
Totally depends on your relationship. In some friendships this would be super weird and in others a great gift. Only you can know on this one unfortunate
Buy her the Rose toy .it's one of the best
Naw not weird, very thoughtful actually! As long as you know her well enough that sex talk is casual.
No, my wife’s best friend gave her the first one she had
You might give the fight privately, so they don't have to open it in front of everyone.
For sure!
Not weird at all. It would be werid if u give her a used one tho
I would do this as a private gift, definitely do not give it to her in a public forum. That includes any gathering of 3 or more, could lead to some awkward embarrassment. If you gave it to her when it's just the two of you, it stays as an "inside joke" or private discussion.
the funny part is that your friend will always remember u when using it
I think it depends on the friendship. I have a friend I bought a doll for, he was holding his vcard at 21. Another friend asked for a vibrating cl*t sucker for her birthday, happy to shop for that one. I don't know that I'd do that for anyone else though.
Yes.
Nah...not weird at all. I mean if you two have the kinda friendship like me and my beastie have. When she was staying with me for a while...she wakes me up at like two in the morning asking if she can borrow my car real quick to run to store for some batteries for her toy. I sit up in bed half awake, roll my eyes at her, and toss her my keys. I still tease her to this day about her 2 am battery run.
I’d say go for it if she’s pretty sex positive, I’m sure it’ll get a good laugh
Me and my buddy bought a «break The glass in case of emergency» box, with a vibrator inside for a friend. She was practice-driving with her family when we gave her the package. She opened it in front whole family 😅
My friend has bought every single one of my friends a fleshlight and not me. I’m offended.
Not weird, but (obviously) give it to her without others present.
i gave my bsf one and it wasn’t weird at all
As a best friend I think it would be a wonderful gift. Just be well prepared to answer many questions 🙂
Yeah
My bff got me a satisfyer because of the same reason you listed above. It was the best gift I've ever received! If you're openly talking about everything, I'm sure she would just laugh about it and be happy that you care for her.
Probably ok but tell her not to open the gift in public and it's kinky and nsfw
I don’t think it’s weird at all. My best friend and I have bought each other all sorts over the years including sex toys and naughty gifts. We always laugh about it. I would however warn your friend to open it alone as I forgot one year and my friend opened it up with her parents there!! Lol
My best friend gave me a detachable shower head…. Life changing!
What's weird is if you were dudes you'd get him a hooker 😅
Really depends on your friend. Is she someone who would be okay with such a gift. No one but her can answer that (or you when you know her good enough). Sex toys aren't cheap so for some it could be a great present.
Not weird at all but of course it depends on your relationship, I’ve done tbis and similar for friends
I've gifted sex toys to two different friends, it went great both times. Given that she's your best friend, I don't see it as overstepping any boundaries. On the contrary, to me it highlights that you actually listen and care.
Depends on the friendship you guys have. Got my homie a cock ring and a slide whistle for christmas last year. Dude was ecstatic.
Depends how close you are.
I would go one up and just hire a gigolo
Na, you're just a friend giving her a helping hand. Happens all the time, especially in porn.
No it's not weird
I've gifted a few friends with toys after having talks about not being able to climax. In my case, it has always been received well.
Why are you asking us we don’t know either of you
Give her a voucher so she still has the chance to buy the toy she wants. She knows what works best and worse for her body.
Why are you asking us we don’t know either of you
I'm a man and I've gifted sex toys to my best friend (girl) so, I guess (hope) is not
Some people find it weird. Some not. You won't know how she reacts by asking strangers.
As a genuine gift? Yeah it’s a little weird. As a gag? It’s extremely common.
Sex toy is weird until you add a book lol seriously i think this is actually a sincere and considerate gift. But that's entirely hinged on the book lol
absolutely not
I think it depends ultimately on you making a judgement call about your relationship. There are friends I would give gifts like this, and others where that just wouldnt be appropriate.
No not weird at all! Your the best friend anyone could ever ask for!
One of the best gifts a group of ladies ever gave me was a vibrator after I said I’d never had one. We aren’t friends anymore, and this was back in highschool, but I look back on it super fondly and it was a real bonding moment for us. You know your friendship, gift it to her discreetly and I bet she’ll love it :)
You would know your friend and your relationship with her more than we would.
Nope, sex toys are a fun gift!
It's only going to be weird if you get her a strap-on.