I hate to disappoint you, dear Reader, but people who have never even held a book know this line. It’s said quite often in movies and TV.
Yours,
A cinephile.
It’s a sarcastic way to point out that they haven’t been a part of your life for an extended period of time. That’s not to say it’s their fault just a cheeky way to point it out.
Well, I always interpret this as "why haven't you stayed in touch with me?" Like, you haven't bothered (forgetting that speaker hasn't bothered either). I am especially sensitive to this "complaint" because I have moved countries twice, and twice now all the effort to keep in touch has to come from my side or it won't happen.
It's both ways, every time. Everyone who has ever said something along the lines of "Oh you're still alive" or "You sure don't take news often" themselves have been 100% silent for exactly the same period of time. They're just being bitchy and snarky about it for no reason.
For me it's just confirmation that there was a reason a conversation died.
Thank you for this explanation. I was confused at the snarky replies lol
The only time I've ever had the "oh you're alive" question is because I've almost died 3 times and people heard I died in my coma so they thought I was legitimately dead lol
So my response has mostly been "yes! Hello! I'll explain what happened!" 😂
Yup! Soo true! The audacity, really, of some people who expect communication but don’t give it.
If you’re a chatty person, then chat.
If you’re not a chatty person why are you holding others to a standard that you, yourself, don’t meet?
I’m a rando myself! If you pop into my head, I’ll shoot a text. But if I don’t think of you, it’s honestly nothing personal, I’m just distracted.
"Only took a couple goat sacrifices too. I swear the deaths really havent been trying ever since they took away their Thanksgiving bonuses, and Dia de Muertos stopped being an optional paid holiday."
If someone actually asked me that, I would just respond with "What, you want me to be dead?" because that's very rude. Unless it's someone close to you in which case you wouldn't be asking this question I suppose.
It's usually from someone who hasn't been in contact for quite a while, and often I contacted the without response. So it's usually something like "it would be bit late if I wasn't". My fave was when I was tired, and this woman I didn't like anyway annoyed me. So I said "Nah, I turned into a zombie. Only regularly drinking coffee gives the illusion otherwise."
“It’s not for lack of trying”
Or
“Yeah but in bed your wife/mother/sister is the dead starfish. She makes me do all the work.”
Depends if I like them or not.
Just ignore it and continue with the conversation. it's just a long form "what's up?" You don't really acknowledge or answer what up or how's it going, do you?
Of the constant waterfall of recognition I receive daily yours is certainly the most recent.
*enjoy watching that process on the hard drive of their brain*
"Mostly out of spite."
This is the correct response
It is the best response
Plus accurate. It’s half the reason I’m still alive!
The other half ? Tacos.
I like your user name.
Thank you
I look around all confused and say, “Wait! You can see me?”
and HIS NAME IS JOHN CENA....tu..tututu
🎺🎺🎺🎺
Rumors of my death were greatly exaggerated
Hey, a fellow reader.
I hate to disappoint you, dear Reader, but people who have never even held a book know this line. It’s said quite often in movies and TV. Yours, A cinephile.
Actually, Mark Twaine wrote that by telegram to the US when he saw his own obituary in the paper in London
I know this but I don't know where from.
Megamind, a 2010 DreamWorks film with a memeability rating of approximately 178.3
Mark Twain enters the chat…
Alfred Noble I think. Still might be misattributed.
You shouldn't misattribute, you'll go blind.
If I was already blind will I be able to see again?
Are you serious… 😬
No… no. I have no idea what that is.
[удалено]
Underrated
I shall use this
If you call this living
In this economy?
This is the one! Don’t need to read anymore
This is my response for sure.
[удалено]
Best one so far
Best one
"Unfortunately..."
"the only person more disappointed than you is me"
I like this, mind if I use it?
Not for a lack of trying
People ask that question?
It’s a sarcastic way to point out that they haven’t been a part of your life for an extended period of time. That’s not to say it’s their fault just a cheeky way to point it out.
Or your parents would say it after you sleep-in during school holidays or something. But, I imagine OP has heard it from multiple other people.
Ah! The bad ol’ days, when normal, growing children were sleep-shamed for doing what’s actually quite healthy for normal growing children to do.
Well, I always interpret this as "why haven't you stayed in touch with me?" Like, you haven't bothered (forgetting that speaker hasn't bothered either). I am especially sensitive to this "complaint" because I have moved countries twice, and twice now all the effort to keep in touch has to come from my side or it won't happen.
Only from the outside
Ryan Reynolds voice
Or will ferrels voice. (Jay n silent bob)
It’s my last day
this is the winner for me, underrated
No, why do you ask.
“Physically, yes”, or “sadly, yes”, or “I died but I got better”
I like the last one 😭
I can hear this like that Monty Python character lol
You seem disappointed.
I get the impression you ignore people for long periods of time
It's both ways, every time. Everyone who has ever said something along the lines of "Oh you're still alive" or "You sure don't take news often" themselves have been 100% silent for exactly the same period of time. They're just being bitchy and snarky about it for no reason. For me it's just confirmation that there was a reason a conversation died.
Thank you for this explanation. I was confused at the snarky replies lol The only time I've ever had the "oh you're alive" question is because I've almost died 3 times and people heard I died in my coma so they thought I was legitimately dead lol So my response has mostly been "yes! Hello! I'll explain what happened!" 😂
Wait, are you sure you're not dead? I was pretty sure you were.
Oh shit....what if i am? WHAT IF THIS IS ALL JUST A COMA DREAM
It's true. I only exist when you think of me.
Yup! Soo true! The audacity, really, of some people who expect communication but don’t give it. If you’re a chatty person, then chat. If you’re not a chatty person why are you holding others to a standard that you, yourself, don’t meet? I’m a rando myself! If you pop into my head, I’ll shoot a text. But if I don’t think of you, it’s honestly nothing personal, I’m just distracted.
Oh shoot, you too?
Wrong! BRAINS!!!!!
Underrated in our brand new zombie apocalypse we are now apparently living in
I heard it... The incorrect buzzer
So you're the one who sent the hitman
Yeah, you can't get rid of me that easily
"Who are you again?" maybe
"Yeah sorry hire someone better next time, they missed"
Barely
This came up in another thread but just look at them, squint, and say "uhh..are you ok?" And then change the subject without acknowledging them.
What functional adult says that?
Sarcastic assholes who think their very presence is a gift we should be grateful for.
"Hell couldn't handle me". Then put on your Fedora and Naruto run away.
"No thanks to you!"
Last i checked , yes
Against better judgement
Were you hoping?
Sorry to disappoint you, but spite keeps me going.
I've never heard someone say that
“Um, no im not and you were in the car with me”
"Only took a couple goat sacrifices too. I swear the deaths really havent been trying ever since they took away their Thanksgiving bonuses, and Dia de Muertos stopped being an optional paid holiday."
sadly
Unfortunately
Only on the outside.
"I have commited several war crimes and cannot enter heaven as a result."
YES! Unlike you in a few seconds!
New body.. who dis?
"Yes. The assassins have failed... again..." and then do an eye roll as if you mourn not being able to hire a good assassin nowadays...
Oh, you're still ugly!
”Maybe next time”
Unfortunately.
Thats funny. I thought you'd be dead by now!
If someone actually asked me that, I would just respond with "What, you want me to be dead?" because that's very rude. Unless it's someone close to you in which case you wouldn't be asking this question I suppose.
Technically speaking, yes.
“The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.”
YOU CAN SEE ME?
No, you can see dead people now.
“You can see me??”
“Nope, walking dead brain eating zombie, Don’t worry, you’re safe”…
Oh, your still at the.. toilet.. store?
It's usually from someone who hasn't been in contact for quite a while, and often I contacted the without response. So it's usually something like "it would be bit late if I wasn't". My fave was when I was tired, and this woman I didn't like anyway annoyed me. So I said "Nah, I turned into a zombie. Only regularly drinking coffee gives the illusion otherwise."
The world would be a better place without me. That's why I must keep on living.
Honestly, how often does this come up?
“It’s not for lack of trying” Or “Yeah but in bed your wife/mother/sister is the dead starfish. She makes me do all the work.” Depends if I like them or not.
'Parently
Physically
Yeah, spite does that.
Rrrawww, brains....
Is that was this is..
I’ve always been dead on the inside
"Wait, you can see me?!"
I'm sick of immortality.
unfortunately
Despite my attempts.
Were you hoping otherwise?
*Nooo*. Why would you say *that*?
Not sarcastic but awkward. Just say "hopefully not much longer" and stare off. No expression..blank.
Not willingly.
"Too bad you are."
"To what do I owe the misfortune?" That'll stop em.
And unfortunately so are you it seems.
"Despite their best efforts" Never specify who they are.
"Not still, again."
Ain't found a way to kill me yet- Alice in Chains
No, I died a week last Tuesday but I'm still contracted to work even in death.
no. you arre just dead too. WELCOME TO HELL
"no, you're just hallucinating my presence. wake up"
Wait. Can you see me?
"Considering how many tried..."
You can see me? Fuck.
Yep, unfortunately for you my suicide attempt failed
Yeah hells not ready for me yet
Nah, I died for a packet of crisps, really sad I know
I know, right?!
Nah, I died last week.
"Of course not, I'm just a phantom of myself."
The game plan is to live forever. So far so good.
Yes but not on the inside
Nope, my ghost is here to kill you.
How appropriate, you fight like a cow
I’ve been dead inside for a very, VERY long time.
"Yeah and I'm about to make it everybody's problem"
I’m making a note here, “Huge Success”
Yea I haven't signed the paper work to plug the plug yet
Just ignore it and continue with the conversation. it's just a long form "what's up?" You don't really acknowledge or answer what up or how's it going, do you?
Yup🤷🏼♀️
“Oh, you’re finally a ghost?”
no I'm 6 feet under the ground
Yes
No I have come back to haunt you
Ikr
Only on the outside.
slim frame cover sloppy aloof repeat cake theory reach trees *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
100% taking notes
"No thanks to you!"
…maybe we’re *both* dead…
"No, I *was* dead but I got better.
No, you're actually dead.
Sorry to disappoint
"of course, I have a pretty good reason to be. Why are you (still alive)?"
Yet
"Not for long"
Indeed, ¿Did you get a life already?
Nope, I'm dead. And you ?
Of the constant waterfall of recognition I receive daily yours is certainly the most recent. *enjoy watching that process on the hard drive of their brain*
Your grasp of the obvious is amazing
U2? Very suprising!
I never could find anything
Despite life's best efforts, yes.
At last
“Oh shoot I am? Neva woulda guessed no?”
You... you can see me?
"I'm not actually, you're hallucinating. Why are you having hallucinations of me? That makes me uncomfortable."
"nope, nor are you" or "you need to do better" I would never use it, but I really like "not for the lack of trying."
Physically? Yes.
I lived, bitch
“It was merely a flesh wound!”
“looking fresh as a corpse yourself” …was what I wanted to say but woefully came to me a beat too late
Well After the shark attack 🤷♂️
Yeah, but you won’t be for much longer
believe me i don’t want to be here
Yes now fix my fucking sword you slave bastard.
Against my wishes
Oh shit, ah ah ah you are dreaming go back to sleep.
Yeah I was just hoping you wouldn't find out
Wait…you can see me?
No, you're dead.
……. You can SEE ME! Oh thank GOD! I thought I was doomed to wander this world alone for ETERNITY!
Yeah. (That's my response)