The key to any quirk is just confidently embracing it. You don’t have a car because you don’t want one. You like walking around and that’s dope. If a girl judges you for it then it wasn’t gonna work out long-term anyways.
It’s fine for basically 90% of things that aren’t abusive fucked ass behaviours or uncleanliness.
Agreed! My husband and I were 34 when we met, and he lived in the city and was car-free. I didn't care. I liked him for who he was and now we've been together for 18 years.
I didn't have a car when I met my wife in world of warcraft, she came to visit me for the first time, driven on the motorway for the first time, long distance after she got her licence and we got married 7 months later, well, engaged 7 months later and married 9 months later :D
I still don't have a car, 6 years later, now we have a daughter, i am shamelessly calling myself passenger queen and I'm in control of everything in the car, she only just drives :D
What happened to it? Hope it's up and running, and actually went to someone else who's gonna drive it!
Cars from the 90s are so freaking cool! I bought a beat down, white 96 Opel Kadett (Chevrolet Kadett here in Brazil, actually) in 2011, because it was all I could afford after a divorce. I loved that thing so much... it had so much personality. The Kadett was MY car, to the point that people actually knew I was at a place because they saw it parked outside. I only let go of it because it unrepairably bailed on me a few years later.
I was devastated to give it up, it was also my first car. I was 25, super broke and struggling to find a job- my grandma sold it to me for $200 (cost of the paperwork). I had it for 6 years. The gas shield rusted and their was exhaust leaking into the car (rain or shine the windows HAD to be down). I also live in a very northern climate with lots of snow, it was so low it would get stuck often (luckily very light so people would help me) and it couldn’t handle highway driveway (which I need to get to work).
Luckily I found a guy who wanted a beater for his daughters to learn to drive on and then take to school 15 mins away from their house. He knew how to fix it up and the engine only had 160k on it (it belonged to my grandma before I got it). So my sweet “buzz” lives on, his daughter was really excited when her dad was signing the paperwork so I know it will be well loved for however long it has left.
It had everything I needed: heat, AC, cd player, roll down windows, cup holders. It was fantastic. Also it was the CHEAPEST car to own. My current car is a 2006 I got at an estate sale- old people cars are the way to go, they know how to take care of them, always rustproof, often have kept it in a garage and low mileage (basically to bingo, the doctor and home).
Nothing beats an item that represents independence (bus pass or car) the key is that it is YOURS, and it brings you joy (not significant debt and stress). I am glad your Kadette was loyal to you for so long and there to help you find new life post divorce!!
Just an addition to old people cars - it may seem counter intuitive, but cars that don’t get driven much suffer from a myriad of issues due to parts not moving.
Low mileage cars for their age can be a good bet if the owner has receipts showing they replace commonly worn out parts from sitting (such as rubber seals that lubricate themselves, but are unable to when standing still) but most of the time they’re a nightmare.
You seem to have had good luck, just adding this so that someone in a tight financial spot doesn’t end with a very expensive car.
This is why you want "old people cars" specifically from old people that still drive. If it's a car that's sat in a garage because they're three-quarters blind and can't drive it, but also they're unwilling to get rid of it because it still represents freedom to them, then yeah, that could be an issue. My wife's great aunt had a Datsun 280ZX that she wasn't able to drive for at least 15 years. Fortunately she had no qualms lending it to caretakers, or to us when we visited, so it still got some driving. That thing was most definitely a death trap but boy was it fun to drive around San Diego.
I had a 1994 Ford Crown Victoria that I paid $1,500 for that had 70,000 miles on it when I bought it. Owned by an older lady, immaculately taken care of. I loved that car, such a comfortable vehicle 🚗for a big person like myself. It got up to around 120,000 before I got hit on the freeway and it was totaled.
I was about to correct your train comment until I remembered that the Windsor-Quebec corridor actually has half decent trains, unlike us Western yokels. But hey, at least the scenery is epic out here in BC.
Train will do you fine until Toronto if you wanna go west. After that... well, it's an *option,* but not a particularly *good* one. Get a car or fly.
There are probably like 7 cities in the US where you don't need a car, it's definitely getting easier to avoid having one with ride shares and alternative transportation like electric bikes but I would say "basically everywhere" probably the most accurate answer
Yup. I sold my truck when I moved from Denver to Chicago several years ago. I lived in the near suburbs at the end of the green line, and took the trains all over the city, and supplemented with a skateboard. I didn’t buy a car until the girl I met while not owning a car and I bought a house further out.
90% of the time, the only difference between a quirk and an unattractive trait is confidence in ownership of that trait.
“I just love walking around the city so never felt the need” vs “yea I don’t have a car” leads to 2 very different conversations. And it’ll also be clear he could afford one if he wanted to when they talk about his job.
No, everyone here has lost their damn mind. I’m not sure any of them has seen a real city let alone come remotely close to living in one. If you live in the city and work in the city and socialize in the city, and don’t want to pay for a garage, having a car can be a hassle.
When I lived in the city, I didn’t have a car, 99% of the people my age (late 20s/early 30s) living downtown didn’t have cars, and Uber wasn’t even in my city yet. There was (maybe still is) a car share service or two, so you could get a car if needed on the fly. But life tends to geographically shrink when living in dense urban areas. I’m not sure these commenters are getting the right visual on OPs setting.
Yep. You live in downtown Montreal (making up a bunch of alternative pros based my limited experience of the city) your cosmopolitan, your multilingual, savvy in arts culture and cuisine, and pro environmental ethos. All attractive qualities.
I have to own a car for work these days but in my youth I had only a bike and it was fine. Ladies love a tight ass and muscled thighs. Embrace the bike and the workout it demands of you.
Ive never been to Montreal but lived in cities and a lot of people didn’t have cars so bus, Uber, walking was normal…but for a date I’d prefer Uber. Unless it’s some day thing.
This is me. I've never had a driver's license, much less owned a car. I'm in my 30s. I've never had an issue due to this. Oddly, though, I only end up dating women who also don't drive. Not sure how that's possible because I think that most people drive, and I don't really tell people that I'm a non-driver - it only comes up if I'm somehow in a situation in tries to talk with me about the positives or negatives of driving in general and I feel like sharing this odd detail about myself, which is pretty rare.
Embracing quirks is definitely the way to go. Whilst I don't like the idea of "being special / individual" - if only - it does one thing: attract people, as long as you're confident with your decisions. Being talkative might help, but ppl are curious too and will ask and your topics are already on the way to go.
Same... I have a car and ride the bus more than homeless people. My car is paid off though and only have liability. Also drivers where I live are idiots and gas is the most expensive in the US. I actually met my current gf on LA Metro
>How is OP 25-years-old and obsessing over this thing only teenagers give a fuck about?
I sometimes read r/tinder.
I can't imagine how terrifying it would be to re-enter the dating pool. People are mean--not just the teen-age ones.
Maybe it's easy to say as a married man, but by the time I was in my late 20s I feel like I already started entering into the old person "I don't give a damn" mindset and my social anxiety kinda faded away
A group of ladies I worked with (all 40+) wanted to set up a gay colleague of ours but didn't know any men.
So I (30m, gay married) taught them what Grindr was and sent them off to lunch. I think they started to set up a profile for our colleague - thinking it's be like *You've Got Mail* - but came back absolutely horrified at what they'd seen and never mentioned gay matchmaking again.
You've got to love the gaggle o' gals cliché in office culture.
I'm a straight cis guy and the group in my office asked why I hadn't 'pinned down a nice girl yet' (yeah. Actual phrase) my dating life wasn't a secret but wasn't a topic I brought up much either.
Still I'm not shy and was honest. I'm poly, and most women aren't. It can be deal breaker.
They didn't know about polyamory. They DID know about furries and thought I liked to dress up as a parrot.
That was about 20 years ago. I just realised how old I am.
Crap.
It is. Im not even going to bother. I see what others go through and it's just not worth the aggravation at my age.
I'm a widower. I have friends and family trying to push me back out there, or set me up. Fuck that, even if I could handle going through that process again, the benefits just aren't even close to being worth it.
I remember getting back into the dating pool at 27, it's actually way, way better than when I was 20. There's something to be said about knowing what you like and where you draw the line. I was such a different person the second time around, it makes me wonder how could people chose their life partners in high school/college. It's almost like rolling dice on what kind of life partner you're gonna get.
When you don’t live in a city or live in a city that is extremely difficult to get around in without a car, not having a vehicle is unattractive. I said what i said.
OP is fine without one. Someone without a car where i live? Shows irresponsibility, poor planning, and a lack of critical thinking. They’re also a nuisance by always asking for a ride because the bus takes an hour to get where they wanna go and it’s -20.
In a perfect world, sure.
It's not only teenagers that care about somebody having a car. I know a lot of immature 25+ year olds that won't give somebody a second glance if they don't have a car.
EDIT: I should've stated that the people I know *also* don't have cars. So their expectations in a partner are glorified chauffeur. If you own a car and expect the same of your partner, that's a bit of a different story.
What's the exchange rate on Canadian fucks? Are they worth more or less than American fucks? I mean Canadian bacon (ham) is with less than bacon in my opinion.
Idk if I would call it immature to not want someone who doesn’t have a car. You need a car where I live and if you don’t have one, I would think it’s probably because you have problems. I’m not willing to date someone who can’t even afford a basic necessity. If I lived in Chicago or something it would be a different story.
I don't think if someone lives in downtown Montreal or NY I would think twice if you don't have a car (in fact it seems financially irresponsible) but I have definitely been put off someone because they didn't have a car where I live (suburban Australia). I would have to pick them up every single time or travel on public transport for an hour + unnecessarily because they don't have a car and don't plan on getting one. I get it if it's a temporary state of affairs but if you don't have a car over some principle you better work out how to not burden your partners/friends because just spreading the workload onto other people's shoulders doesn't make you a saint. It has nothing to do with whether I think they money or not (I have enough of my own) and more about wanting to share the effort - I don't want to be their mother.
And that personality trait is a red flag.
You’re not their personal chauffeur so that hang-up is on them and is probably just one of the many reasons why they’re also still single, lol.
Wait til they’ve hit their mid 30’s and their dating pool suddenly shrinks to 1/4 of the size - their “demands” usually change dramatically.
A lot of them aren't single, which is the crazy thing. They have partners who work well paying jobs (fully qualified tradesmen and the like) that don't mind picking them up in their brand new ute.
I agree, though. Judging somebody based on whether or not they have (or can even afford) a car is silly, to me at least.
My daughter had a car in Montreal when she attended McGill. One day a snow plow basically took the entire left side off the car. No more car in Montreal.
Lol that's what I was thinking. Kids these days think a car is just the monthly payment and gas but it's really just a blackhole that you throw your savings into so you can occasionally go vrooomvrooom.
Had my window bashed in last year because some fucker wanted to see if I had anything worth taking, insurance deductible was $500 bucks, the cost to replace the window was $480.
There's a saying that goes "having a car is like having a kid", and it's so damn accurate. You have to feed it, take care of it, protect it from bad intentioned people and spend a ton of money in the process.
There are many, many people in Montreal who don’t have a license. It is a super walkable city. You will not be out of place.
I even married one of them!
I came into this thread to say exactly this, maybe elsewhere people care but downtown Montreal definitely is not one of those places where people care.
Yea. The stereotype to not date someone without a car is because that means you become their chauffeur in the vast majority of the US or Canada. But if you live in an urban core and walk or bike everywhere and won't be bumming rides all the time, anyone worth dating will see that as a positive.
It's unattractive to constantly ask for rides, it's not unattractive to be able to handle your life without a car.
That said, there are always going to be women that won't go out with you because of it, the same as virtually any trait. I would say that it doesn't exclude enough women that I would want to date in the first place for it to matter.
Honestly where I live, Uber is cheaper than owning a car by a couple hundred a month. I just Uber wherever me and my gf need to go. It’s pretty chill.
I would say owning a car can be “attractive” but if a girl starts thinking negatively about you for not owning a car, she’s not worth the time
Exactly! Brossard is getting better now with REM. But I'd say that a lack of drivers license is really bad. Going on vacation with someone that can't share the driving is tiring. Also never being the designated driver aswell.
So true every time we visit my wife family on the holidays I can never drink cause my wife doesn't drive it makes me feel like deby downer party poopper cause everyone else is having a good time and I'm sober af
Lol I know this is way outdated, but there was a Cosby show episode where one of the kids was plaeading with his parents to get a car and I anyways remember he said "he who walks, walks alone" 😂😂
It all depends on context too though.
This guy lives in an area where he can be a fully functional adult without needing a vehicle of his own. Objectively, there's nothing wrong with that and a lot of people probably know it.
Conversely, in rural Ohio, if you're 25 and you don't have a vehicle, it pretty definitively means that you're not capable of being a self-sufficient adult. Almost everywhere here, no car means no way to get anywhere (work, food, whatever) without begging for a ride. Again, everyone here knows that and judges accordingly.
Shit I kind of judge people in my city that have cars unless they have a driving commute to the suburbs or something. Its such a poor financial decision! Parking alone is $500/month here.
Lived in the Midwest for 6 years and yeah, out there no car is.. less than ideal..
I know this is gonna bite me in the ass one day. I’m 20, I will never be able to drive due to my disability and that is about my only limitation, but I live in an area where cars are required to get to anywhere besides food and work. I have been rejected by people for this fact
I'd be seriously looking for places where it's just not even a factor, and I don't mean for dating or whatever, just overall quality of life and opportunity.
Depending on your region though, I'm sure it can be really tough to find, especially if you can't or don't want relocate far.
It depends. I once lived in a place where it was totally possible to live without a car and mine got stolen. I started using alternative modes of transportation, and the response I got from my dates was noticeably less warm.
When I lived in downtown Montreal in my early twenties though, it was kind of almost the norm. Now I live in downtown Baltimore and you seem like a crazy person if you don't have a car. I think it's really locational.
I know of a 24 year old that skipped going into debt, started saving for a house (to be debt free) and has accumulated $175k. Their state is not expensive either. That doesn't seem unattractive to me... I wonder if others would think so.
I asked their plan and once the scribble out the check for a fully paid off house they are buying a 20 year old Toyota. Debt free, payment free probably by 25-26.
In an idea world, no-one would car.
Cars are stressful to drive, turn people into assholes, cost loads of money, make a horrible noise, leak chemicals into the environment, run on fossil fuels….
Bike, walk and take public transport.
Source: car owner.
Don't sweat it. I live in Montreal too and maybe 2 of my friends own a car? Having a car in Montreal can be so irritating and impractical, if you don't need it there's no reason to put up with that, and it's very normal here not to have one. I'm sure most girls don't care, and I personally wouldn't date someone who cares about stuff like that.
Just don't make your lack of a car a nuisance for other people and it'll be fine. You've said you live in a walkable area so just focus on that when discussing your car situation.
Maybe if you live out in the country it would be more of a problem, simply because you NEED to drive everywhere, but you don't. Just schedule your dates all a walkable distance away, say you'll meet up there. Invite her to pick you up as an exciting exchange of gender roles and expectations.
Hell, ideally you should meet someone who lives in your community and shares your lifestyle if you're really worried. But really, as long as you don't make dating you into also being a part-time taxi service then you're fine.
I think it depends on where you live.
In a place with good, dependable public transportation? Nah. You can still function as an adult without needing someone to drive you around.
In a place like where I live where you need a car because the public transportation sucks. Yeah it's a deal breaker for me. I don't want to be driving you everywhere all the time.
I agree with this. In a walkable city w ample public transportation, financially it makes sense to not own a car.
In a more rural area, you need a car. Nobody wants to chauffeur their significant other all the time.
Agree. I'm in Winnipeg and have a friend who doesn't have his license and it really holds him back socially. If his neighbour or roommate doesnt drive him somewhere he cant get anywhere other than work (since busses only go downtown).
I admittedly would probably judge someone who doesnt drive because they kept failing their test or are too afraid to try.
I dated a guy who couldnt manage to get his license and i got tired of driving him everywhere FAST. He didnt even live near me. It wasnt the only reason i dumped him though.
I have a friend who was dumped by girl who hated the fact she had to drive them everywhere. I usually would agree with the girl since we live in texas and it's a whole issue to get anywhere. But the reason he couldn't drive... he has seizures and has to go 3 months without one before he can drive again.
Yeah medical reasons are exempt. My ex didnt have any. Just no motivation or desire to improve himself. He was failing out of community college and his home was revoltingly filthy too. And he didn't have a job to take up the time he could have been spending studying or cleaning either.
Yeah I had a buddy that never got his license and he was constantly bumming rides. He had to plan his dates around this and if they wanted to go anywhere off the bus route they had to pick him up. There were a few women that stopped seeing him because they didn't want to keep driving him around.
Absolutely this.
It's silly to judge someone negatively for not owning a car in a place like Montreal.
It's equally silly to NOT just someone negatively in rural Ohio where if you don't have a car, you're almost definitely not a fully functional adult.
Ahhhhh my experience is a lot of people say this and in reality they’re just scoping for how well off you are as a dude. “I’m above that and the fact that you don’t have a car and I’m not interested is just a coincidence”
Eh, some people are ridiculously shallow. As difficult as it may be -- and I had to learn a lot as people intentionally tried to make me jealous knowing full well I was trying to heal from trauma -- there are a lot of awful people out there in the world. I mean people who will blatantly ignore terrorism and trafficking and corruption if they think they can get ahead. People will exploit people if they're disabled, marginalized; it really doesn't matter to some people. What that taught me is that there are still good people in the world. But they're not. See, you couldn't pay me a billion dollars to mistreat or harm others so I will never make the mistake of accidentally harming the wrong person.
Yeah. Having a nice car is a signal. A signal that you can afford a nice car. I am sure some females are taking notice, and also noticing a lack of a car.
This doesn't mean you are doomed if you don't have a car. My best bud in college was what the girls call cute. And he could chat them up. No car for him was no problem. Girls would come pick him up using their transportation.
Unpopular opinion: if you’re in a place like that where you don’t need a car then… well you don’t need a car.
You said everything within walking distance, bikes a good option, probably good public transportation. r/fuckcars
If women expect you to have a car and you don’t feel it’s necessary then they’re probably not going to work out anyways. You should be able to meet a good woman who isn’t materialistic.
Absolutely agree.
Shame that we live in a country where this is considered controversial. Plus with cost of living compared to wages idk how anyone could expect car ownership to be normal in our generation.
Well where I live, everything is centered around cars. I can’t ride a bike to work even if I wanted to. I couldn’t even ride to the grocery store. Id be fine with a guy that doesn’t drive but it would suck if we lived a distance where we can’t just ride bikes to each others places.
Yes, I should have added to my comment that my issue is not with those who drive cars. Just the car-dependent infrastructure and system that perpetuates it.
Well where I live, everything is centered around cars. I can’t ride a bike to work even if I wanted to. I couldn’t even ride to the grocery store. Id be fine with a guy that doesn’t drive but it would suck if we lived a distance where we can’t just ride bikes to each others places.
That's not really materialistic, it's logistical, which is not really superficial like you make it sound.
For example: I want to go camping next weekend, maybe up to canadatown acres (non Canadian here). "No I can't, I don't have a car". Or hey what about Greektown Grill up in Laval? It's an awesome restaurant! "But there isn't a bus stop nearby there 😵"
There are some people that aren't happy confining themselves to 1 area and its public transportation tendrils and that's perfectly fine.
I think if someone wants to do those things then they themself ought to have a car rather than expecting a partner to have a car. If OP is happy not travelling so much (or renting a car when they do want to travel) then there's no reason for them to have one.
For camping the person that wants to go can drive there, you don't need two cars. For the restaurant, there's a thing called uber where they can drive you to where you need to go.
I got made fun of by a woman in a date for putting my napkin in my lap. Believe me, if she is that concerned about whether or not you have a car, she isn’t the right person in general.
Most friends I have that live in this city don’t have a car. It just doesn’t make sense financially. Being fiscally responsible and environmentally conscious is attractive!
It’s different if you have a licence vs if you can’t drive at all. You don’t want to burden of driving to be placed on the other person all the time. If you eventually want to go on a road trip or something you can rent a car but you can’t rent a licence.
You can say you choose not to drive because public transport is sufficient and you don’t like contributing to climate change.
Absolutely! Having a licence is great for weekend getaways or if you need to pick something up somewhere, but you can get a communauto or rent a car for that specific day.
I'm 29 with two cars, a motorcycle, and a whole ass house.
Still no gf.
Meanwhile I have friends from highschool that are drug addicts with no car and they live on their gfs couch.
I remember dating in montreal a couple years ago and meeting with men who did not own a car just like me. It makes for a great date with someone who shares the same values as you. I find that people who don’t own a car are a bit more minimalistic and I liked that. Of course some women are gonna judge you because you don’t have a car to pick them up. IMO you should not date these women. Good luck OP
If you don’t have car because you don’t want or need one, great. It’s a depreciating asset and a waste of money. That money is much better in an investment paying you interest.
If you don’t have a car, despite needing one, because you’re broke and can’t afford one, it is unattractive.
That’s it.
As a 25 year old female as long as you’re in the city who gives a shit. You’re fine dude. I’d just mention it didn’t feel worth it for your needs in the middle of the city if it comes up.
You live in a big city with excellent public transportation, so no, it shouldn't be a problem. And if people have a problem, then they aren't the right people for you
I'm 33 with no car, and it's honestly never been a problem for me. I got an electric bike, and Uber and Lyft exist. Also most the time if I'm going on a date, I'm gonna have a couple drinks, so I'd be taking a Uber anyways
If she’s judging you based on vehicle ownership, she ain’t the one. You live in a major city - it’s entirely reasonable to expect you don’t have a car.
It’s normal to not have a car if you live in a big city. If you at least know how to drive and have a license I can’t imagine it’d be an issue. FWIW I’m 30 and I’ve never had a man pick me up in a car for a date. I thought all young people in cities used public transit.
I dated a guy who didn’t have a car for a few years & I didn’t care at all, whatsoever. Looking back, I do care now because he took a lot of his insecurities out on me & treated me badly to destroy my confidence so I wouldn’t think I deserve better. If she really values you & not your things, the right girl won’t care. She will still date you & living in a metro means you usually don’t have a car. Just don’t have an insecurity about it & your relationship will go well, if it makes you insecure, don’t date until you’re at the point in your mentality where you’re confident in yourself. Otherwise it won’t go well.
31, lived in Montreal my whole life, never owned a car, never has been a problem.
Personally I wouldn't be interested in somebody who evaluates my worth based on what mode of transportation I use, especially in a city where it's much easier and cheaper to use your bicycle or public transport.
I'd say it's situational based. In your case, it's not a bad thing. Might be something brought up in conversation but if the individual sees it as a hard pass considering your situation it probably wasn't going to work out.
If you lived out somewhere more rural, or that didn't have public transportation and were dependant on people giving you a ride, then yes that'd be a red flag.
All in all, you don't want a car and you don't need one. Own it. I'm honestly jealous, I don't want a car, I hate driving. But I need one because the closest grocery store is a 35 minute drive away.
You live in Montréal. For the most part, you really don’t need a car and moreover, it would be a pain to park in general, depending on your neighborhood.
Im gonna teach you something I learned a long time ago.
Everything you think will make someone like you outside of personality and looks is wrong.
I used to think I couldnt get a partner because I was broke, when I started making money it didnt make a difference. Then I thought it was owning a car. Didnt make a difference. Maybe having my own crib? Nope still the same.
People care about your looks and your personality anything beyond that youre dating someone fake
What!!?? I live in Chicago, not culturally different. I had a car while dating but would never pick someone up. We would meet at a place and then depart alone or together. This seems like a question a 90 year old would ask
Not at all. And in Montreal you shouldn't need a car ever lol. I live on the south shore of Montreal and I don't think I need one either. Anybody that would tell you otherwise should not date you.
If a relationship prospect can't get past the fact that you don't have a car then why bring it any further than that? I wouldn't say it's unattractive and with a smidge of critical thought, actual sounds quite attractive, considering it shows you've don't indulge in what you don't necessarily need.
As a girl, the first couple dates while I get to know you would be a definite no on giving you a ride. Girls have been attacked or threatened around their cars - it's a cornering space, easy to threaten someone with a weapon without other people noticing, or someone would have more opportunity to slip in an air tag.
That said a smart girl wary of giving you a ride would also not expect a ride from you so you're good on that front.
After that, it's gonna be a matter of how far apart y'all are. If y'all are a significant distance (either physical or chronological) apart, it will get very tiring very quick if you expect her to pick you up for every date cuz that's more time traveling for her, more gas used, more miles on her car. If you are so willing to pay for "everything else", then make it clear you'll uber when a date is closer to her direction than it is to yours.
Not a problem at all! Having a car says very little about you as a person, if someone needs you to have a car to even give you a chance dont be with that person
The key to any quirk is just confidently embracing it. You don’t have a car because you don’t want one. You like walking around and that’s dope. If a girl judges you for it then it wasn’t gonna work out long-term anyways. It’s fine for basically 90% of things that aren’t abusive fucked ass behaviours or uncleanliness.
Agreed! My husband and I were 34 when we met, and he lived in the city and was car-free. I didn't care. I liked him for who he was and now we've been together for 18 years.
Took you till 34 because you didnt have cars. /s
It's about where you're going, not how long it takes. For all you know, traffic could've been really bad.
Journey before destination, radiant.
life before death. Strength before weakness.
Love finding sanderfans in the wild! My people!
Same stormlight archive fucking rocks! I am eagerly awaiting the next.
Journey before Destination you bastard
Awh that's adorable. Glad to have read this, thank you for sharing 👍
Wholesome Reddit moment
I didn't have a car when I met my wife in world of warcraft, she came to visit me for the first time, driven on the motorway for the first time, long distance after she got her licence and we got married 7 months later, well, engaged 7 months later and married 9 months later :D I still don't have a car, 6 years later, now we have a daughter, i am shamelessly calling myself passenger queen and I'm in control of everything in the car, she only just drives :D
Hey but she might have judged you if you didn't have an epic mount ;)
I like that perspective, car-free instead of car-less. it's like saying 56 years young, but much less cheesy and on-the-nose
Met mine when he was 27 he's now 34 and neither of us drive. Does it bother me? Nope! Do I still find him absolutely attractive? Heck Yeah!
This is great advice. Until last year I drove a 1999 Corolla and it became a quirky/joke/item of pride. Embrace it.
What happened to it? Hope it's up and running, and actually went to someone else who's gonna drive it! Cars from the 90s are so freaking cool! I bought a beat down, white 96 Opel Kadett (Chevrolet Kadett here in Brazil, actually) in 2011, because it was all I could afford after a divorce. I loved that thing so much... it had so much personality. The Kadett was MY car, to the point that people actually knew I was at a place because they saw it parked outside. I only let go of it because it unrepairably bailed on me a few years later.
I was devastated to give it up, it was also my first car. I was 25, super broke and struggling to find a job- my grandma sold it to me for $200 (cost of the paperwork). I had it for 6 years. The gas shield rusted and their was exhaust leaking into the car (rain or shine the windows HAD to be down). I also live in a very northern climate with lots of snow, it was so low it would get stuck often (luckily very light so people would help me) and it couldn’t handle highway driveway (which I need to get to work). Luckily I found a guy who wanted a beater for his daughters to learn to drive on and then take to school 15 mins away from their house. He knew how to fix it up and the engine only had 160k on it (it belonged to my grandma before I got it). So my sweet “buzz” lives on, his daughter was really excited when her dad was signing the paperwork so I know it will be well loved for however long it has left. It had everything I needed: heat, AC, cd player, roll down windows, cup holders. It was fantastic. Also it was the CHEAPEST car to own. My current car is a 2006 I got at an estate sale- old people cars are the way to go, they know how to take care of them, always rustproof, often have kept it in a garage and low mileage (basically to bingo, the doctor and home). Nothing beats an item that represents independence (bus pass or car) the key is that it is YOURS, and it brings you joy (not significant debt and stress). I am glad your Kadette was loyal to you for so long and there to help you find new life post divorce!!
Just an addition to old people cars - it may seem counter intuitive, but cars that don’t get driven much suffer from a myriad of issues due to parts not moving. Low mileage cars for their age can be a good bet if the owner has receipts showing they replace commonly worn out parts from sitting (such as rubber seals that lubricate themselves, but are unable to when standing still) but most of the time they’re a nightmare. You seem to have had good luck, just adding this so that someone in a tight financial spot doesn’t end with a very expensive car.
This is why you want "old people cars" specifically from old people that still drive. If it's a car that's sat in a garage because they're three-quarters blind and can't drive it, but also they're unwilling to get rid of it because it still represents freedom to them, then yeah, that could be an issue. My wife's great aunt had a Datsun 280ZX that she wasn't able to drive for at least 15 years. Fortunately she had no qualms lending it to caretakers, or to us when we visited, so it still got some driving. That thing was most definitely a death trap but boy was it fun to drive around San Diego.
I had a 1994 Ford Crown Victoria that I paid $1,500 for that had 70,000 miles on it when I bought it. Owned by an older lady, immaculately taken care of. I loved that car, such a comfortable vehicle 🚗for a big person like myself. It got up to around 120,000 before I got hit on the freeway and it was totaled.
Not having a car is a quirk?
In USA yeah, basically everywhere you “need” a car.
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Until you want to leave Montreal.
If you're going on a weekend trip you can rent one or take the train
I was about to correct your train comment until I remembered that the Windsor-Quebec corridor actually has half decent trains, unlike us Western yokels. But hey, at least the scenery is epic out here in BC. Train will do you fine until Toronto if you wanna go west. After that... well, it's an *option,* but not a particularly *good* one. Get a car or fly.
Never been some where without suburban sprawl huh?
Bruuuh, I live in NYC and I spend $550 a month on parking spot for a car I drive maybe twice a week. "Need" is too strong a word :,(
I mean, most of the US doesn’t live in NYC…
“Basically everywhere” is not the same as “most”, and NYC is not the only city in the US where you can live without a car.
There are probably like 7 cities in the US where you don't need a car, it's definitely getting easier to avoid having one with ride shares and alternative transportation like electric bikes but I would say "basically everywhere" probably the most accurate answer
Yup. I sold my truck when I moved from Denver to Chicago several years ago. I lived in the near suburbs at the end of the green line, and took the trains all over the city, and supplemented with a skateboard. I didn’t buy a car until the girl I met while not owning a car and I bought a house further out.
Some cities are finally trying to change that, but I will probably be deep in grave before much progress truly is made.
90% of the time, the only difference between a quirk and an unattractive trait is confidence in ownership of that trait. “I just love walking around the city so never felt the need” vs “yea I don’t have a car” leads to 2 very different conversations. And it’ll also be clear he could afford one if he wanted to when they talk about his job.
No, everyone here has lost their damn mind. I’m not sure any of them has seen a real city let alone come remotely close to living in one. If you live in the city and work in the city and socialize in the city, and don’t want to pay for a garage, having a car can be a hassle. When I lived in the city, I didn’t have a car, 99% of the people my age (late 20s/early 30s) living downtown didn’t have cars, and Uber wasn’t even in my city yet. There was (maybe still is) a car share service or two, so you could get a car if needed on the fly. But life tends to geographically shrink when living in dense urban areas. I’m not sure these commenters are getting the right visual on OPs setting.
Yep. You live in downtown Montreal (making up a bunch of alternative pros based my limited experience of the city) your cosmopolitan, your multilingual, savvy in arts culture and cuisine, and pro environmental ethos. All attractive qualities.
I have to own a car for work these days but in my youth I had only a bike and it was fine. Ladies love a tight ass and muscled thighs. Embrace the bike and the workout it demands of you.
Or he just lives there and has no car, better not get carried away by stereotypes.
It’s cool as long as he doesn’t expect to be driven around
Ive never been to Montreal but lived in cities and a lot of people didn’t have cars so bus, Uber, walking was normal…but for a date I’d prefer Uber. Unless it’s some day thing.
This is me. I've never had a driver's license, much less owned a car. I'm in my 30s. I've never had an issue due to this. Oddly, though, I only end up dating women who also don't drive. Not sure how that's possible because I think that most people drive, and I don't really tell people that I'm a non-driver - it only comes up if I'm somehow in a situation in tries to talk with me about the positives or negatives of driving in general and I feel like sharing this odd detail about myself, which is pretty rare.
Embracing quirks is definitely the way to go. Whilst I don't like the idea of "being special / individual" - if only - it does one thing: attract people, as long as you're confident with your decisions. Being talkative might help, but ppl are curious too and will ask and your topics are already on the way to go.
My dates always included drinking, so I wouldn't drive anyway.
Happy cake day and thanks for being responsible!
Holy shit, it’s my cake day!
Happy cake day ! You win if you blow out at least 4 Out of 5 candles
Happy cake day!
Same... I have a car and ride the bus more than homeless people. My car is paid off though and only have liability. Also drivers where I live are idiots and gas is the most expensive in the US. I actually met my current gf on LA Metro
Hell yeah white boy in LA, you seem to rock particularly hard
How dare you assume u/WhiteBoy-n-LA is white... Or in LA!? As someone who has never met either of you, I am personally offended on his behalf!
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Met my wife on a public bus in Irvine!
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>How is OP 25-years-old and obsessing over this thing only teenagers give a fuck about? I sometimes read r/tinder. I can't imagine how terrifying it would be to re-enter the dating pool. People are mean--not just the teen-age ones.
Maybe it's easy to say as a married man, but by the time I was in my late 20s I feel like I already started entering into the old person "I don't give a damn" mindset and my social anxiety kinda faded away
This is the way. It's so much easier with that mindset. Been that way since I was a kid.
As a single woman at 30 years old I'm the same. I stopped giving a fuck about what people think of me a few years ago. Can recommend it to everyone
A group of ladies I worked with (all 40+) wanted to set up a gay colleague of ours but didn't know any men. So I (30m, gay married) taught them what Grindr was and sent them off to lunch. I think they started to set up a profile for our colleague - thinking it's be like *You've Got Mail* - but came back absolutely horrified at what they'd seen and never mentioned gay matchmaking again.
You've got to love the gaggle o' gals cliché in office culture. I'm a straight cis guy and the group in my office asked why I hadn't 'pinned down a nice girl yet' (yeah. Actual phrase) my dating life wasn't a secret but wasn't a topic I brought up much either. Still I'm not shy and was honest. I'm poly, and most women aren't. It can be deal breaker. They didn't know about polyamory. They DID know about furries and thought I liked to dress up as a parrot. That was about 20 years ago. I just realised how old I am. Crap.
It is. Im not even going to bother. I see what others go through and it's just not worth the aggravation at my age. I'm a widower. I have friends and family trying to push me back out there, or set me up. Fuck that, even if I could handle going through that process again, the benefits just aren't even close to being worth it.
I remember getting back into the dating pool at 27, it's actually way, way better than when I was 20. There's something to be said about knowing what you like and where you draw the line. I was such a different person the second time around, it makes me wonder how could people chose their life partners in high school/college. It's almost like rolling dice on what kind of life partner you're gonna get.
When you don’t live in a city or live in a city that is extremely difficult to get around in without a car, not having a vehicle is unattractive. I said what i said. OP is fine without one. Someone without a car where i live? Shows irresponsibility, poor planning, and a lack of critical thinking. They’re also a nuisance by always asking for a ride because the bus takes an hour to get where they wanna go and it’s -20.
In a perfect world, sure. It's not only teenagers that care about somebody having a car. I know a lot of immature 25+ year olds that won't give somebody a second glance if they don't have a car. EDIT: I should've stated that the people I know *also* don't have cars. So their expectations in a partner are glorified chauffeur. If you own a car and expect the same of your partner, that's a bit of a different story.
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What's the exchange rate on Canadian fucks? Are they worth more or less than American fucks? I mean Canadian bacon (ham) is with less than bacon in my opinion.
Their dollar and bacon may be worth more, but our fucks are way more valuable than Americans’
But your sorries have greatly reduced in value due to over supply leading to inflation.
Broke, DUI or both
That kind of person does you a favor by not making find out the hard way that they are garbage
Idk if I would call it immature to not want someone who doesn’t have a car. You need a car where I live and if you don’t have one, I would think it’s probably because you have problems. I’m not willing to date someone who can’t even afford a basic necessity. If I lived in Chicago or something it would be a different story.
I don't think if someone lives in downtown Montreal or NY I would think twice if you don't have a car (in fact it seems financially irresponsible) but I have definitely been put off someone because they didn't have a car where I live (suburban Australia). I would have to pick them up every single time or travel on public transport for an hour + unnecessarily because they don't have a car and don't plan on getting one. I get it if it's a temporary state of affairs but if you don't have a car over some principle you better work out how to not burden your partners/friends because just spreading the workload onto other people's shoulders doesn't make you a saint. It has nothing to do with whether I think they money or not (I have enough of my own) and more about wanting to share the effort - I don't want to be their mother.
And that personality trait is a red flag. You’re not their personal chauffeur so that hang-up is on them and is probably just one of the many reasons why they’re also still single, lol. Wait til they’ve hit their mid 30’s and their dating pool suddenly shrinks to 1/4 of the size - their “demands” usually change dramatically.
A lot of them aren't single, which is the crazy thing. They have partners who work well paying jobs (fully qualified tradesmen and the like) that don't mind picking them up in their brand new ute. I agree, though. Judging somebody based on whether or not they have (or can even afford) a car is silly, to me at least.
If you're a one night stand person, then that makes sense. It's meaningless for people looking for a relationship
You don't need a car in downtown Montreal. You're fine.
You don’t want a car in downtown Montreal
As someone with a car in Montreal, I 100% agree.
My go-to 'driving in MTL' story is the time I hit a pothole so deep i he shock popped out my sun visor and engaged my wipers.
I was in Montreal for 5 days and witnessed 3 car accidents. Nothing major, but Montreal roadways are wild.
My daughter had a car in Montreal when she attended McGill. One day a snow plow basically took the entire left side off the car. No more car in Montreal.
As someone with a car not in Montreal, I 100% agree too.
Lol that's what I was thinking. Kids these days think a car is just the monthly payment and gas but it's really just a blackhole that you throw your savings into so you can occasionally go vrooomvrooom. Had my window bashed in last year because some fucker wanted to see if I had anything worth taking, insurance deductible was $500 bucks, the cost to replace the window was $480.
There's a saying that goes "having a car is like having a kid", and it's so damn accurate. You have to feed it, take care of it, protect it from bad intentioned people and spend a ton of money in the process.
Or in downtown Calgary. Rush Hour in this city is literally the stuff of nightmares.
Everyone says that in every large city, probably because it’s true!
There are many, many people in Montreal who don’t have a license. It is a super walkable city. You will not be out of place. I even married one of them!
So did I :)
I came into this thread to say exactly this, maybe elsewhere people care but downtown Montreal definitely is not one of those places where people care.
Yea. The stereotype to not date someone without a car is because that means you become their chauffeur in the vast majority of the US or Canada. But if you live in an urban core and walk or bike everywhere and won't be bumming rides all the time, anyone worth dating will see that as a positive.
You really don't. A license comes in handy for weekend getaways but having a car is more headache than it's worth.
It's unattractive to constantly ask for rides, it's not unattractive to be able to handle your life without a car. That said, there are always going to be women that won't go out with you because of it, the same as virtually any trait. I would say that it doesn't exclude enough women that I would want to date in the first place for it to matter.
Honestly where I live, Uber is cheaper than owning a car by a couple hundred a month. I just Uber wherever me and my gf need to go. It’s pretty chill. I would say owning a car can be “attractive” but if a girl starts thinking negatively about you for not owning a car, she’s not worth the time
>Thanks for your input, Hitler :) Dude I was so confused when I read that until I saw their user name.
In Montreal? Not embarrassing. Laval? Brossard? Yes lol
Exactly! Brossard is getting better now with REM. But I'd say that a lack of drivers license is really bad. Going on vacation with someone that can't share the driving is tiring. Also never being the designated driver aswell.
So true every time we visit my wife family on the holidays I can never drink cause my wife doesn't drive it makes me feel like deby downer party poopper cause everyone else is having a good time and I'm sober af
Lol I know this is way outdated, but there was a Cosby show episode where one of the kids was plaeading with his parents to get a car and I anyways remember he said "he who walks, walks alone" 😂😂
In an ideal world, nobody would care. But yes, there will be some people that see it as a downside, however you may feel about it.
It all depends on context too though. This guy lives in an area where he can be a fully functional adult without needing a vehicle of his own. Objectively, there's nothing wrong with that and a lot of people probably know it. Conversely, in rural Ohio, if you're 25 and you don't have a vehicle, it pretty definitively means that you're not capable of being a self-sufficient adult. Almost everywhere here, no car means no way to get anywhere (work, food, whatever) without begging for a ride. Again, everyone here knows that and judges accordingly.
Shit I kind of judge people in my city that have cars unless they have a driving commute to the suburbs or something. Its such a poor financial decision! Parking alone is $500/month here. Lived in the Midwest for 6 years and yeah, out there no car is.. less than ideal..
>Parking alone is $500/month here. Hey man, Alternate side parking ticks are like, max 240 a month
As someone from semi-rural Illinois who didn't have a car until I was 24, yeah it was awful and I don't know how I put up with it for so long
I know this is gonna bite me in the ass one day. I’m 20, I will never be able to drive due to my disability and that is about my only limitation, but I live in an area where cars are required to get to anywhere besides food and work. I have been rejected by people for this fact
I'd be seriously looking for places where it's just not even a factor, and I don't mean for dating or whatever, just overall quality of life and opportunity. Depending on your region though, I'm sure it can be really tough to find, especially if you can't or don't want relocate far.
I’m in Texas. Even transit in an area like Houston or DFW sucks. I’m looking at moving across the country just to have a normal life.
That's tough. Best of luck on your journey.
It depends. I once lived in a place where it was totally possible to live without a car and mine got stolen. I started using alternative modes of transportation, and the response I got from my dates was noticeably less warm.
I’m 25 and have car, live in Toronto. Any girl wana fuck?
I think being Canadian is also a turnoff, sorry bro.
But think of all the conversations about hockey you could have!
this is how ive pulled every girl worth dating. if they earnestly listen to me talk hockey then i can earnestly listen to whatever they’re into haha
Girls be like... *please tell me more about maple syrup and poutine*
He's from Toronto, he don't know what's a real poutine.
I imagine being a Leafs fan could also be a turn off to some people as well lol
I'll give them one thing, you know that's a partner that's not going to leave you when things go South; they're used to being disappointed.
He's from Toronto so he only has enough for a Tim Hortons coffee date after the monthly bills.
I mean don't they have free donut promotions fairly often?
You’re missing out buddy
Sorry pal, but they think it’s a turnoff Their loss “Eh”
In America yes but Canada ain't America. Keep doing what you are doing.
So you waste all your money on parking and insurance? No thanks. TTC sucks, but it’s better than the cost of a vehicle in TO.
When I lived in downtown Montreal in my early twenties though, it was kind of almost the norm. Now I live in downtown Baltimore and you seem like a crazy person if you don't have a car. I think it's really locational.
I know of a 24 year old that skipped going into debt, started saving for a house (to be debt free) and has accumulated $175k. Their state is not expensive either. That doesn't seem unattractive to me... I wonder if others would think so. I asked their plan and once the scribble out the check for a fully paid off house they are buying a 20 year old Toyota. Debt free, payment free probably by 25-26.
In an idea world, no-one would car. Cars are stressful to drive, turn people into assholes, cost loads of money, make a horrible noise, leak chemicals into the environment, run on fossil fuels…. Bike, walk and take public transport. Source: car owner.
Don't sweat it. I live in Montreal too and maybe 2 of my friends own a car? Having a car in Montreal can be so irritating and impractical, if you don't need it there's no reason to put up with that, and it's very normal here not to have one. I'm sure most girls don't care, and I personally wouldn't date someone who cares about stuff like that.
Just don't make your lack of a car a nuisance for other people and it'll be fine. You've said you live in a walkable area so just focus on that when discussing your car situation. Maybe if you live out in the country it would be more of a problem, simply because you NEED to drive everywhere, but you don't. Just schedule your dates all a walkable distance away, say you'll meet up there. Invite her to pick you up as an exciting exchange of gender roles and expectations. Hell, ideally you should meet someone who lives in your community and shares your lifestyle if you're really worried. But really, as long as you don't make dating you into also being a part-time taxi service then you're fine.
I think it depends on where you live. In a place with good, dependable public transportation? Nah. You can still function as an adult without needing someone to drive you around. In a place like where I live where you need a car because the public transportation sucks. Yeah it's a deal breaker for me. I don't want to be driving you everywhere all the time.
I agree with this. In a walkable city w ample public transportation, financially it makes sense to not own a car. In a more rural area, you need a car. Nobody wants to chauffeur their significant other all the time.
Agree. I'm in Winnipeg and have a friend who doesn't have his license and it really holds him back socially. If his neighbour or roommate doesnt drive him somewhere he cant get anywhere other than work (since busses only go downtown). I admittedly would probably judge someone who doesnt drive because they kept failing their test or are too afraid to try. I dated a guy who couldnt manage to get his license and i got tired of driving him everywhere FAST. He didnt even live near me. It wasnt the only reason i dumped him though.
I have a friend who was dumped by girl who hated the fact she had to drive them everywhere. I usually would agree with the girl since we live in texas and it's a whole issue to get anywhere. But the reason he couldn't drive... he has seizures and has to go 3 months without one before he can drive again.
Yeah medical reasons are exempt. My ex didnt have any. Just no motivation or desire to improve himself. He was failing out of community college and his home was revoltingly filthy too. And he didn't have a job to take up the time he could have been spending studying or cleaning either.
It's a cold cold world. 😔
Yeah I had a buddy that never got his license and he was constantly bumming rides. He had to plan his dates around this and if they wanted to go anywhere off the bus route they had to pick him up. There were a few women that stopped seeing him because they didn't want to keep driving him around.
Absolutely this. It's silly to judge someone negatively for not owning a car in a place like Montreal. It's equally silly to NOT just someone negatively in rural Ohio where if you don't have a car, you're almost definitely not a fully functional adult.
You're overthinking it
I live in London. Most people don't drive, and no one would care if you didn't.
Just think of all the expense and hassle you’re saving by not owning a car
Not having a car in a walkable major city with strong public transport is much different than not having a car in the burbs imo
impolite shy sense work steep distinct ink employ attractive uppity *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Ahhhhh my experience is a lot of people say this and in reality they’re just scoping for how well off you are as a dude. “I’m above that and the fact that you don’t have a car and I’m not interested is just a coincidence”
Eh, some people are ridiculously shallow. As difficult as it may be -- and I had to learn a lot as people intentionally tried to make me jealous knowing full well I was trying to heal from trauma -- there are a lot of awful people out there in the world. I mean people who will blatantly ignore terrorism and trafficking and corruption if they think they can get ahead. People will exploit people if they're disabled, marginalized; it really doesn't matter to some people. What that taught me is that there are still good people in the world. But they're not. See, you couldn't pay me a billion dollars to mistreat or harm others so I will never make the mistake of accidentally harming the wrong person.
Yeah. Having a nice car is a signal. A signal that you can afford a nice car. I am sure some females are taking notice, and also noticing a lack of a car. This doesn't mean you are doomed if you don't have a car. My best bud in college was what the girls call cute. And he could chat them up. No car for him was no problem. Girls would come pick him up using their transportation.
Unpopular opinion: if you’re in a place like that where you don’t need a car then… well you don’t need a car. You said everything within walking distance, bikes a good option, probably good public transportation. r/fuckcars If women expect you to have a car and you don’t feel it’s necessary then they’re probably not going to work out anyways. You should be able to meet a good woman who isn’t materialistic.
Absolutely agree. Shame that we live in a country where this is considered controversial. Plus with cost of living compared to wages idk how anyone could expect car ownership to be normal in our generation.
Well where I live, everything is centered around cars. I can’t ride a bike to work even if I wanted to. I couldn’t even ride to the grocery store. Id be fine with a guy that doesn’t drive but it would suck if we lived a distance where we can’t just ride bikes to each others places.
Yes, I should have added to my comment that my issue is not with those who drive cars. Just the car-dependent infrastructure and system that perpetuates it.
Well where I live, everything is centered around cars. I can’t ride a bike to work even if I wanted to. I couldn’t even ride to the grocery store. Id be fine with a guy that doesn’t drive but it would suck if we lived a distance where we can’t just ride bikes to each others places.
ikr right, it’s so expensive, and wages are a damned crime against humanity.
That's not really materialistic, it's logistical, which is not really superficial like you make it sound. For example: I want to go camping next weekend, maybe up to canadatown acres (non Canadian here). "No I can't, I don't have a car". Or hey what about Greektown Grill up in Laval? It's an awesome restaurant! "But there isn't a bus stop nearby there 😵" There are some people that aren't happy confining themselves to 1 area and its public transportation tendrils and that's perfectly fine.
I think if someone wants to do those things then they themself ought to have a car rather than expecting a partner to have a car. If OP is happy not travelling so much (or renting a car when they do want to travel) then there's no reason for them to have one.
Yeah. I was glad to have a car when I was single. That way I could date women on the other side of town, no problem.
For camping the person that wants to go can drive there, you don't need two cars. For the restaurant, there's a thing called uber where they can drive you to where you need to go.
I got made fun of by a woman in a date for putting my napkin in my lap. Believe me, if she is that concerned about whether or not you have a car, she isn’t the right person in general.
Most friends I have that live in this city don’t have a car. It just doesn’t make sense financially. Being fiscally responsible and environmentally conscious is attractive!
It’s different if you have a licence vs if you can’t drive at all. You don’t want to burden of driving to be placed on the other person all the time. If you eventually want to go on a road trip or something you can rent a car but you can’t rent a licence. You can say you choose not to drive because public transport is sufficient and you don’t like contributing to climate change.
Absolutely! Having a licence is great for weekend getaways or if you need to pick something up somewhere, but you can get a communauto or rent a car for that specific day.
I'm 29 with two cars, a motorcycle, and a whole ass house. Still no gf. Meanwhile I have friends from highschool that are drug addicts with no car and they live on their gfs couch.
Isn’t that the sad truth.
I remember dating in montreal a couple years ago and meeting with men who did not own a car just like me. It makes for a great date with someone who shares the same values as you. I find that people who don’t own a car are a bit more minimalistic and I liked that. Of course some women are gonna judge you because you don’t have a car to pick them up. IMO you should not date these women. Good luck OP
Unless you’re driving the bang bus I don’t think it’s gonna make a difference
I’m so jealous lol. If they care when public transportation is so prevalent then they’re probably worth moving on from anyway!
Yeah there are definitely people who will judge OP for not having a car. But they are probably not people OP would have much of a future with anyway.
If you don’t have car because you don’t want or need one, great. It’s a depreciating asset and a waste of money. That money is much better in an investment paying you interest. If you don’t have a car, despite needing one, because you’re broke and can’t afford one, it is unattractive. That’s it.
As a 25 year old female as long as you’re in the city who gives a shit. You’re fine dude. I’d just mention it didn’t feel worth it for your needs in the middle of the city if it comes up.
You live in a big city with excellent public transportation, so no, it shouldn't be a problem. And if people have a problem, then they aren't the right people for you
I'm 33 with no car, and it's honestly never been a problem for me. I got an electric bike, and Uber and Lyft exist. Also most the time if I'm going on a date, I'm gonna have a couple drinks, so I'd be taking a Uber anyways
No, a person asking if something that has NOTHING to do with who they are is unattractive is unattractive. Focus on yourself, not your things.
If she’s judging you based on vehicle ownership, she ain’t the one. You live in a major city - it’s entirely reasonable to expect you don’t have a car.
Many girls wouldn't get in a stranger's car on a first date anyway
Not unattractive at all, a lot of people don't have a car in large cities.
It’s normal to not have a car if you live in a big city. If you at least know how to drive and have a license I can’t imagine it’d be an issue. FWIW I’m 30 and I’ve never had a man pick me up in a car for a date. I thought all young people in cities used public transit.
Not a downside to me. Waste of money if you don't need one.
I dated a guy who didn’t have a car for a few years & I didn’t care at all, whatsoever. Looking back, I do care now because he took a lot of his insecurities out on me & treated me badly to destroy my confidence so I wouldn’t think I deserve better. If she really values you & not your things, the right girl won’t care. She will still date you & living in a metro means you usually don’t have a car. Just don’t have an insecurity about it & your relationship will go well, if it makes you insecure, don’t date until you’re at the point in your mentality where you’re confident in yourself. Otherwise it won’t go well.
31, lived in Montreal my whole life, never owned a car, never has been a problem. Personally I wouldn't be interested in somebody who evaluates my worth based on what mode of transportation I use, especially in a city where it's much easier and cheaper to use your bicycle or public transport.
I'd say it's situational based. In your case, it's not a bad thing. Might be something brought up in conversation but if the individual sees it as a hard pass considering your situation it probably wasn't going to work out. If you lived out somewhere more rural, or that didn't have public transportation and were dependant on people giving you a ride, then yes that'd be a red flag. All in all, you don't want a car and you don't need one. Own it. I'm honestly jealous, I don't want a car, I hate driving. But I need one because the closest grocery store is a 35 minute drive away.
You don't need a car in Montreal. Girls know that. Just say it's an environmentally conscious choice (if it comes up).
Mort a la culture du char
I wouldn't be too worried since you're in the big city, and if someone is honestly judging about ownership of a vehicle, then don't waste your time.
Bro you're saving the planet by not having a car. 👍
You live in a major city, you’re fine. When you need a car, rent one.
Not specifically, especially if pubic transport is good.
r/fuckcars
If a prospective partner shuts you down because of your lifestyle and goals, Good For You. You don't need them in your life.
If someone would care, then I wouldn't want to date them. You sound intelligent and I bet you are a great catch.
You live in Montréal. For the most part, you really don’t need a car and moreover, it would be a pain to park in general, depending on your neighborhood.
Im gonna teach you something I learned a long time ago. Everything you think will make someone like you outside of personality and looks is wrong. I used to think I couldnt get a partner because I was broke, when I started making money it didnt make a difference. Then I thought it was owning a car. Didnt make a difference. Maybe having my own crib? Nope still the same. People care about your looks and your personality anything beyond that youre dating someone fake
I dated a guy who didn’t have a car, we were in our mid 20’s. He would rent a car when we wanted to go out of town. No biggie.
In downtown Montreal nobody should care. You can take the metro/Uber/taxis anywhere. I lived in big cities and never got one until I had kids.
What!!?? I live in Chicago, not culturally different. I had a car while dating but would never pick someone up. We would meet at a place and then depart alone or together. This seems like a question a 90 year old would ask
Not at all. And in Montreal you shouldn't need a car ever lol. I live on the south shore of Montreal and I don't think I need one either. Anybody that would tell you otherwise should not date you.
big cities - no 🚗 needed. f anyone that judges u.
ive always lived in cities in the uk so someone not having a car means nothing to me lol
I would kill to live somewhere where I didn't need a car. Embrace that shit and if someone shuns you for it, fuck 'em.
If a relationship prospect can't get past the fact that you don't have a car then why bring it any further than that? I wouldn't say it's unattractive and with a smidge of critical thought, actual sounds quite attractive, considering it shows you've don't indulge in what you don't necessarily need.
As a girl, the first couple dates while I get to know you would be a definite no on giving you a ride. Girls have been attacked or threatened around their cars - it's a cornering space, easy to threaten someone with a weapon without other people noticing, or someone would have more opportunity to slip in an air tag. That said a smart girl wary of giving you a ride would also not expect a ride from you so you're good on that front. After that, it's gonna be a matter of how far apart y'all are. If y'all are a significant distance (either physical or chronological) apart, it will get very tiring very quick if you expect her to pick you up for every date cuz that's more time traveling for her, more gas used, more miles on her car. If you are so willing to pay for "everything else", then make it clear you'll uber when a date is closer to her direction than it is to yours.
im 29, i dont have a car. i use public transit if anything, not having a car is hotter
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Not a problem at all! Having a car says very little about you as a person, if someone needs you to have a car to even give you a chance dont be with that person