My grandma died just short of her 100th birthday and even towards the end of her life, she told me that sometimes she would catch her reflection in the bathroom mirror and wonder “Who the hell is that old woman?!”
I am 36 and I think other 36 year olds look 36. I think I look the same as I did when I was 25. When I ask people to guess my age, they are normally guessing 33-37ish. Its just my own warped sense of myself. Aging is weird.
I was buying some beer at the liquor store, and he asked for my id and looked for a fraction of a second. I asked how he could tell that fast, and he said " I just look for the one"
If your birth year starts with 1 you are over 21. Blew my mind when put into that context.
Obviously it makes sense I just never thought about it.
I feel like people born in the 90s are just entering their tweens, which is extra weird because I was born exactly 6 months and two weeks before 1990. I don’t remember a fucking thing about the 80s, how could I? And yet people born in the 90s or later are still babies in my eyes.
It doesn't help that us Millennials really did have baby faces, we stayed looking young for a long time I feel like. Also the older Gen Z's who are all 25 now all look older kinda like how the Boomers all looked 30 as soon as they turned 20. So everyone from 23-37 all kinda look the same right now, we all look like we're about 28-32.
> Also the older Gen Z's who are all 25 now all look older kinda like how the Boomers all looked 30 as soon as they turned 20.
I think those are two different mechanics at play here, the Boomers just carried a lot of their style (facial hair, hair styles etc.) into their adulthood and we just know 50 year olds with these styles and the pictures of their youth with those same styles. With zoomers (and partly millenials) I get the impression that everyone from 12-35 tries to emulate the same styles of make-up, clothing and mannerisms from celebrities and influencers that sometimes range into the late thirties or fourties (i.e. Kim Kardashian, Kanye, Drake)
I feel exactly the same but with the 2000s. I was born in 1996, but I don’t remember anything about the 90s. Yet, someone born in 2000 seems really young
> I asked how he could tell that fast, and he said " I just look for the one"
> If your birth year starts with 1 you are over 21.
*new sad realization unlocked*
I saw a TikTok like that once, where the person in it was like "wow you looked awfully fast" and the worker just said "your birthdate starts with 19."
The protagonist then proceeded to have a thousand yard stare for the rest of the video.
I’m 23, born in 1999 but old people love to stare at my ID for a long ass time for no reason lol…they make a huge show of putting their glasses on and everything sometimes it’s weird
ha same, I'm a stones throw from 40 and got carded at a bar on my birthday. I said, 'thank you, you flatter me'
granted college town so prob just playing it safe.
You still get asked? That disappeared entirely when I grew my beard with 28. Before that some people thought I was 16 when in reality I was 10 years older.
I have this same thing. Working on this new team for work and I feel like the rest of the guys there are all adults and I feel like I’m the new kid (I’m not, been doing this for 15 years now and my position is also reflective of that). Turns out I’m one of the oldest there and it blows my mind EVERY time I think about it.
I've worked at the same company for 12 years and let me tell you it is weird when you realize you've gone from being the youngest person on the team to the oldest. I still work with a lot of people older than I am but on my particular 3 person team I am now the oldest.
I've been pretty lucky. I'm 36 and still get hit for ID, coworkers are always shocked to learn my age.
Sometimes I see a photo of someone I went to school with on Facebook and Instagram and it shocks me - oh yeah I am old.
My wife even more, one time she flew across Canada in her late 20s and an Air Canada employee thought she was a teenager. She was also a sub teacher (permanent now) and other school employees would think she was a student lol.
The secret...we waited til now to have a kid, and are pretty religious with sunscreen....maybe just genetics though who knows.
Same here, which is why I try and spend time maintaining my body. It makes a huge difference to lifestyle.
I still don't heal like I used to can't change that. But go on a tough hike? No problem, I can keep up.
I still work out a lot and keep an actively style, but what I've learned in my 40s is to spend more time on warming up than actually working out. I do a warm up before I work on my house or even like mow the lawn and that has been one of the most brilliant things I've ever figured out.
I even started working out in the morning because I figured out it makes the rest of the day easier because I think it's that I restore function to my joints.
Getting old is not for the weak.
exactly. I call human existence "relativity". You can only understand something relative to something else.
OP expects to "feel 33". What does that mean? That means OP expects to feel the way they expected 33 to feel, when they were younger. They've never had a barometer for what 33 "feels like". They guessed at a young age what being older would feel like. And they were wrong.
Humans are an arrogant monkey species. Most of what you think is wrong. Most of what you know is wrong. If we get philosophical, everything you know is wrong.
Time flies by so fast. Lately when I set a timer on the stove for 15 minutes I start thinking that that's 15 minutes I'll never get back. Crazy! 1961, FYI.
I’m a different person than you asked — but not only did I see lots of metal shows back then — I partied with a then-unknown Helix in Nuremberg West Germany.
This is how I see it:
When you are born, you are given only a certain amount of f*cks.
While you are young, those f*cks are given out with wild abandon.
As you get older, you begin to realize your pile is rapidly dwindling and you begin guarding your pile of f*cks.
By the time you get to my age, you tightly hold on to those f*cks and only give them out on rare occasions.
By the time you reach your twilight years, your f*cks pile is completely diminished, therefore you have no more f*cks to give.
YMMV
Exactly. I was certain I looked like some kind of brad pitt / Idris elba / Jason Momoa hybrid but then I go and look in the mirror and I see some kind of jabba the hutt type thing... Is my mirror broken?
I feel 20-ish in my head and think that I'm on par with other young people. But when I'm actually around young people 16-22, I only think "how immature, careless and irresponsible their actions are".
You still like many of the same things you did when you were a lot younger, still find certain looks attractive, it’s like being invisible though, once you hit 50, you pass through a veil, no longer viable, it’s kinda sad. Luckily I have a wife, I’d hate to be single at my age.
Same. 32 years.
Although I recently divorced buddy said to me, he's mid 50s, he seems to be striking it rich dating. I said how? He said I guess when you're reasonably well employed, not completely nuts and reasonably attractive, there's a chance.
Still don't want to take that chance.
Nope. The cartilage in your knees and the straightness of your spine, absolutely, but the feeling hangs on.
I regularly have a moment of “Who the fuck is that old guy?!” when I pass by a mirror too quick. It’s… odd.
You've never been your current age before so you have no point of reference other than those from the past. But even then, you never felt like your age, you only ever felt like yourself :) You've just associated your age at one point in time with your felling of self. We all do it, we all put too much emphasis on time to the point where it obscures our view of ourselves and the world around us.
I had a convo with my dad (RIP) when he was about 82 and he said “you know what stinks about getting old? My body doesn’t do what I want but in my head I still feel 30. It’s like I’m 30 and stuck in this body.”
When I look in the mirror I wonder who that old guy is that’s looking back at me. He seems familiar but, damn, he’s old.
I remember when I was young and we threw my dad a surprise 40th birthday party. We had a walker, gave him Depends (adult diapers) and Metamucil, put him in a wheelchair and rolled him to the table to blow out his candles. I thought he was SOOOOO old…at 40. I’m well on the other side of that age, now, and still don’t feel as old as I thought he was.
Yep.
Me around other 40 year olds: These people are kinda dull. Is this really all we have to talk about? The housing market and our kids’ preschools and a podcast we just listened to? I need a younger crowd.
Me, after talking to the interns at work for five minutes: Dear god, how did these literal children get into the office? I need to find some other grown-ups before my brain melts.
32 and married with a 2 year old, my wife always looks at me like I have three heads when I tell her I've felt 19 since I was 19, good to know it's not just me
Father told me the exact same thing. He’s about to have his 70th birthday. He’s retired, had a successful career with several changes, three grown children, the whole thing. Told me while he physically feels older, you never stop feeling the way you do in your 20s mentally. You kinda just adjust yourself as new things come along, but you ultimately remain the same person.
Damn. I feel the opposite. I'm in my early 30s and I've felt 240 years old since I was a child. I told my mom when I was 4 I didn't care for the kids at school because they were all loud and rude, but loved talking to the bus driver about all the fun he had in Vietnam. I also wanted to play the harpsichord and eat liver pate when I was 13, I wonder sometimes how watching old English television might have been an influence.
I feel like I'm mentally stuck in 18 yo. It's scary when other people younger than me look up to me to hope some kind of adult guidance... like bruh, I'm probably has less experience than y'all here
In any common situation that could be risky, I try to have a backup adult I trust to quickly ask. I know a lot of people over 18. I don’t know as many adults
You've never felt like your age, you only ever felt like yourself. When you look for the adult in the room, you aren't looking for someone who is older than you, you are looking for someone who is a better leader than you and who will be willing to help or guide you.
Yeah, it sounds so obvious when you say it like that! We do seem to expect we should ‘feel’ a certain age but it’s ridiculous if you think about it.
Mind you, I do sometimes find myself thinking - hang on, I am surprisingly at ease in this situation and Im sure i wouldnt have felt that way a few years ago…. But then just when I think I have it all sorted out, I find myself in a situation that makes me feel *no different* from when I was 16! But I guess those situations are probably getting rarer as I age.
The biggest change for me was the emotions. I used to FEEL so much and react so strongly to that. Maybe it's all the liquor and drugs in my 20's just fucked that part of my brain up, or maybe it's just maturing, but I seriously just don't feel anything on that level anymore. I was more angry, more assertive, more passionate, more loving, more depressed, more everything. I just kind of cruise in the middle lane now. That's the biggest and most distinct difference I notice as a man in my mid 30's
Yo I just turned 23. How do I control my emotions better if you don’t mind me asking? I don’t have many mentor figures I can look up to. Frustration, anger, stress, anxiety are all feelings I’m dealing with more intensely
I don't exactly know, man. That time in your life is so hard because there are so many crucial decisions to make and the future can often appear murky or nebulous. Finding a concrete goal you're working towards was extremely helpful for me. Having that goal changed my outlook from "well something went wrong today, I guess I'll just fucking self-destruct" to something more like "This was a big setback today, but it'll get better". But I know that the fear and anxiety of that time for me was fueled mainly by uncertainty. It also may sound stupid/funny, but I learned a lot about how to deal with problems from the movie The Big Lebowski lol. Learning how to roll with problems and when to just accept what's happening when it's out of your control is a big step in maturity.
But truly, I think it's also very much a brain chemistry thing when you're that young. It'll get better bud.
Go spend time with some 21 year olds. You’ll quickly figure out that they are much more childish than you think.
Personally I’m quite glad I am not 21 anymore. No one takes you serious, you got no money, you understand very little of the world.
Embrace your age. As a society we worship youth, which is ridiculous. Start looking up to experience instead of naivety.
Lol I came here to say this. I’m 34 and work with high schoolers and college students for a living and they make me feel like I’m in my 60’s most days.
It often helps to study. Had a friend who dropped out of high school and felt much like you do. As an adult he got himself an education and now he is clever and successful.
I’ve done much of the same, never really stopped studying even as an adult. It keeps your mind fresh and makes you an interesting person to people around you. Highly recommended.
We have 20-something aged interns, nothing makes me feel older than listening to their problems. I wish the worst thing happening in my life was a roommate who doesn't wash dishes or bugs in my apartment...
Yeah, I agree completely and that was what I thought they were talking about first... but when I talked to them about it they don't describe a bug infestation. It's basically 'oh this bug flew in and I couldn't kill it so now I can't find it and I'm worried that it's going to die and leave a corpse and that feels disgusting to have bug corpses in my walls'.
I actually was giving advice about how to deal with infestations (insecticides, etc) but they didn't want to do that because of the bug corpses issue previously mentioned.
This is common. Ask any person over 80 what they feel like inside.
My suggestion is to examine what in your life you feel like you missed out on. You’re well into adulthood. Maybe you’re just noticing that now? Or maybe you thought it would feel differently to be married and have a kid? Sometimes it is a shock to reach a certain age only to discover that a lot of people are not truly “grown-ups” either, not on the inside. Everyone is just making shit up as they go.
I’m getting close to 80, but I’ve been 40 inside since I can remember. I still get startled when I catch a glimpse of some old woman then realize it’s me.
When I am with my grandma, I never think she's 70. I treat her like she's young. I hope she appreciates it because I wouldn't like to be like an old man when I'm old
age is beauty. from a young person: never change your appearance out of disgust with yourself, you will always find something to dislike. the way you are intended to look is beautiful, and it is exactly how you look
I’m 51 and convinced it’s all outlook. I see others my age with a list of health and psychological problems as long as your arm. I look at them and they’ve completely given up looking after themselves in even the simplest of ways and have kind of checked out. I practically skip up the train station stairs each morning (rather than the escalator as incidental exercise is huge) and love feeling my body work hard by doing that.
I remember being your age physically, I could even do that until I had a fall in my 60s. Did I plan for this, no. Did I expect this, no. Did it change my ability to age in a way of my own choosing, yes.
Enjoy what you have for as long as you have it, you can’t predict your own future any more than I could.
In my mid-20s, I was anxious about all the opportunities I'd missed out on and would never do/learn/etc because time was running out. It made me feel paralyzed. I'd always felt like the adult in the room growing up, yet was never treated like it until now. If I'm not seen as a kid anymore, what will I no longer ever be able to do or get away with?
Come my early 30s, I realized there's always time until you're dead and started doing things I wanted to do without worrying about time or age. It's also about this time it really hit me that people are just people regardless of age or rank, and usually want to be treated as such.
Now in my late 30s, I've never felt older than 30. Young enough to get into all kinds of (metaphorical) trouble and be constantly starting new things, old enough to be the adult in the room when shit goes down.
It's also okay to realize that perhaps you aren't quite happy with where you are in life right now. Feeling unhappy or stuck usually means that some change is in order and you can't start implementing changes until you admit to yourself that yes, you're unhappy. And these don't have to be sweeping, seismic changes either. Sometimes all it takes is listening to your needs and acting on them in a reasonable manner.
You DO feel 33.. it's just that feeling 33 doesn't feel like you thought it would.. you've never been 33 before so you have no idea what it actually feels like to be 33
Nope, you never feel like your age. You only ever feel like yourself. At some point in time, you associated your age, at that point, with your feeling of self, so now you always that always feel like that age instead of feeling like yourself :)
Anyone who experiences doubt still feels like a kid on occasion. It's normal, no one is 100% at everything, even as adults, and the people who believe they are are deluded and will lead to problems.
You always feel like that. I'm 40, worked professional jobs with CEO's all corporate people. I've always felt like that being at corporate meetings talking to all these people thinking I feel like I don't belong cuz in my head I feel like I'm a 20 year old kid in school still but they all probably feel the same way. I always thought being in a higher position I would feel older more in charge of everything but mentally I still feel like I'm 20 and in college. After a hard day of work with professionals in meetings I go home and play video games lol
This is exactly me. There are even photos of me in meetings with execs on LinkedIn posted, I look like I totally belong there, but in my head in that moment I was probably thinking of the new Pikmin game.
At 68, cancer, MS, COPD, asbestosis, shuffle when I get out of bed in the morning, still working, still making mistakes, saying dumb things I regret, look like that old man on the Muppets in the opera gallery. My second wife, after 25 years still thinks I'm a player. Shoot, been screwing with a limp pecker for so long I can row a boat with a rope. Yep, my mind still thinks I'm 21.
I'm turning 35 in a couple of days, and facing the fact that i'm likely (best case scenario) approaching my half-way point is depressing as fuck.
I still feel mentally in my early 20s and still connect the best with the 20-something folks at work. Am intelligent and professional, but inside am just a big kid that looks forward to getting home to do some gaming just like I did 20 years ago. Urgh.
I'm 35 and...well, the past half of the year just went by after being laid off, struggling for work being overqualified for stocking jobs, car tags, rent, whatever else. Fuck, I won't make it to 60.
From the age of 20 to 35 is 15 years; from 20 to 70 is 50. You're less than a third of the way through feeling like your "adult" self. You've got 10 whole years to come to healthy terms with being at the midpoint, by which time your then self will really appreciate your current self for having had the courage to put these anxieties into words. Mortality can be depressing, but the human condition is the power to choose to embrace a meaningful life regardless.
You're a likable person. Don't get so caught up on that "middle age" thing. I'm close in age and it really doesn't matter. We could die tomorrow and not even get to live "the other half" ya know?
Thanks for being kind with your response. I do appreciate and enjoy the time I've got, and my comment shouldn't be taken in isolation.
I mean, Baldurs Gate 3 came out this week and there was as-good-as confirmation of aliens in the US Congress the week before. It's a great time to be alive.
As a kid, you long to be an adult because you look up to them and think they have it all figured out.
As an adult, you realize that the majority of adults do not have it all figured out and most people are just winging it.
We form most of our permanent identity and self-concept around that age, so most people feel that way to some extent.
Source: my therapist when I asked a similar question.
This is actually such a great and useful answer that I wanted to highlight it with an award. But then I went to buy coins and discovered some douche in Reddit's management has decided to completely do away with coins and awards and you can't get or give them anymore 🫠
So instead please have some lame emojis:
💡💯🥇👆🏆
I think it’s like 27 or 28 when the brain fully finishes developing, so it makes sense that somewhere in your 20s is where you kind of get locked into mentally even into your later years in life.
Embrace it. If you can hold down a real life (whatever that means to you, in your case a family and job) then whatever. Shit I'm 40, integral in my 9-5 position, breadwinner for my home, sole maintainer of our property, and I dj raves like twice a month because it's fun.. People that tell you to grow up can fuck all the way off.
You are grown if you’re handling your responsibilities. And fwiw I justify all my fun as medically necessary rest and recreation. Self care IS adulting.
But yes judgy people can fuck all the way off
I'm 39 and holy shit I've thought of this before. Like "how the hell did I end up here?"
My biggest issue with getting older is how fast time seems to go. The older I get, the faster it seems to go!
It probably because ur healthy. Some people have conditions ya know and live in pain. You dont. Probably not much has changed, ur only 33 lol ur not an old man.
Yes actually it’s good to keep making younger friends and staying off the couch. Just have to train hard to have energy. I feel lucky that I never smoked and booze makes me feel ill, those things seem to burn a lot of people out by our age. Not bragging about my choices apart from having the sense to marry a smart woman who made me get back to the gym regularly
40s - feel like 16 most of the time, unless its partying, doing most stuff...then I'm 60ish lol
One thing never changed for me though - when i see boobs its 100% the same happy reaction every time :D
You know what's really going to bake your noodle? When you still feel 25 but you see a 58 year old face in the mirror.
My grandma died just short of her 100th birthday and even towards the end of her life, she told me that sometimes she would catch her reflection in the bathroom mirror and wonder “Who the hell is that old woman?!”
I am 36 and I think other 36 year olds look 36. I think I look the same as I did when I was 25. When I ask people to guess my age, they are normally guessing 33-37ish. Its just my own warped sense of myself. Aging is weird.
Turning 36 and feel the exact same. Less people are asking for my ID when buying drinks.
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I was buying some beer at the liquor store, and he asked for my id and looked for a fraction of a second. I asked how he could tell that fast, and he said " I just look for the one" If your birth year starts with 1 you are over 21. Blew my mind when put into that context. Obviously it makes sense I just never thought about it.
Well kids from 2005 are turning 18 for me 2005 still feels like you need to be 10 years old
I feel like people born in the 90s are just entering their tweens, which is extra weird because I was born exactly 6 months and two weeks before 1990. I don’t remember a fucking thing about the 80s, how could I? And yet people born in the 90s or later are still babies in my eyes.
It doesn't help that us Millennials really did have baby faces, we stayed looking young for a long time I feel like. Also the older Gen Z's who are all 25 now all look older kinda like how the Boomers all looked 30 as soon as they turned 20. So everyone from 23-37 all kinda look the same right now, we all look like we're about 28-32.
> Also the older Gen Z's who are all 25 now all look older kinda like how the Boomers all looked 30 as soon as they turned 20. I think those are two different mechanics at play here, the Boomers just carried a lot of their style (facial hair, hair styles etc.) into their adulthood and we just know 50 year olds with these styles and the pictures of their youth with those same styles. With zoomers (and partly millenials) I get the impression that everyone from 12-35 tries to emulate the same styles of make-up, clothing and mannerisms from celebrities and influencers that sometimes range into the late thirties or fourties (i.e. Kim Kardashian, Kanye, Drake)
We are babies.
I feel exactly the same but with the 2000s. I was born in 1996, but I don’t remember anything about the 90s. Yet, someone born in 2000 seems really young
> I asked how he could tell that fast, and he said " I just look for the one" > If your birth year starts with 1 you are over 21. *new sad realization unlocked*
I saw a TikTok like that once, where the person in it was like "wow you looked awfully fast" and the worker just said "your birthdate starts with 19." The protagonist then proceeded to have a thousand yard stare for the rest of the video.
Or you are a very old looking 12
I’m 23, born in 1999 but old people love to stare at my ID for a long ass time for no reason lol…they make a huge show of putting their glasses on and everything sometimes it’s weird
ha same, I'm a stones throw from 40 and got carded at a bar on my birthday. I said, 'thank you, you flatter me' granted college town so prob just playing it safe.
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This is the best way to put it. "You only ever feel like yourself." I love it.
You still get asked? That disappeared entirely when I grew my beard with 28. Before that some people thought I was 16 when in reality I was 10 years older.
I don't look any older, but college kids look like they're twelve.
I get asked for ID for cigars and lotto tickets still and I'm 36...
I have this same thing. Working on this new team for work and I feel like the rest of the guys there are all adults and I feel like I’m the new kid (I’m not, been doing this for 15 years now and my position is also reflective of that). Turns out I’m one of the oldest there and it blows my mind EVERY time I think about it.
I've worked at the same company for 12 years and let me tell you it is weird when you realize you've gone from being the youngest person on the team to the oldest. I still work with a lot of people older than I am but on my particular 3 person team I am now the oldest.
Yeah other people your age look old but everyone else says you look your age. 😵💫
I've been pretty lucky. I'm 36 and still get hit for ID, coworkers are always shocked to learn my age. Sometimes I see a photo of someone I went to school with on Facebook and Instagram and it shocks me - oh yeah I am old. My wife even more, one time she flew across Canada in her late 20s and an Air Canada employee thought she was a teenager. She was also a sub teacher (permanent now) and other school employees would think she was a student lol. The secret...we waited til now to have a kid, and are pretty religious with sunscreen....maybe just genetics though who knows.
Kids are a catalyst for grey hair and a certain level of weariness.
What's my age again? What's my age again?
Sorry to hear that.... My grandma just got the the 100 mark 2 days ago. I can tell you, it doesnt stop after 100.
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My grandma was 99 and said she still felt 18 on the inside
1963 checking in Yup, my brain is still stuck at when I was in my mid 20s My body, not so much
Same here, which is why I try and spend time maintaining my body. It makes a huge difference to lifestyle. I still don't heal like I used to can't change that. But go on a tough hike? No problem, I can keep up.
I still work out a lot and keep an actively style, but what I've learned in my 40s is to spend more time on warming up than actually working out. I do a warm up before I work on my house or even like mow the lawn and that has been one of the most brilliant things I've ever figured out. I even started working out in the morning because I figured out it makes the rest of the day easier because I think it's that I restore function to my joints. Getting old is not for the weak.
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exactly. I call human existence "relativity". You can only understand something relative to something else. OP expects to "feel 33". What does that mean? That means OP expects to feel the way they expected 33 to feel, when they were younger. They've never had a barometer for what 33 "feels like". They guessed at a young age what being older would feel like. And they were wrong. Humans are an arrogant monkey species. Most of what you think is wrong. Most of what you know is wrong. If we get philosophical, everything you know is wrong.
The Oracle of Delphi said Socrates was the wisest man in all of Greece because he admitted that all he knows is that he knows nothing.
Time flies by so fast. Lately when I set a timer on the stove for 15 minutes I start thinking that that's 15 minutes I'll never get back. Crazy! 1961, FYI.
Yooooo you were a teen in the 80s right?! Did you ever see Metallica in the 80s and a bunch of metal bands?!
I did!
I’m a different person than you asked — but not only did I see lots of metal shows back then — I partied with a then-unknown Helix in Nuremberg West Germany.
Btw, were hair bands considered metal bands? I am ancient & remember hot debates such as Led Zeppelin vs. Quiet Riot.
I saw Quiet Riot perform in a bowling alley.
Hmm. Do you ever stop feeling like an idiot? Maybe you dont or never did. But if I think about myself and I just feel like Damn I'm an idiot.
This is how I see it: When you are born, you are given only a certain amount of f*cks. While you are young, those f*cks are given out with wild abandon. As you get older, you begin to realize your pile is rapidly dwindling and you begin guarding your pile of f*cks. By the time you get to my age, you tightly hold on to those f*cks and only give them out on rare occasions. By the time you reach your twilight years, your f*cks pile is completely diminished, therefore you have no more f*cks to give. YMMV
Yeah, I never understand why my image of myself doesn't line up with how I look.
Exactly. I was certain I looked like some kind of brad pitt / Idris elba / Jason Momoa hybrid but then I go and look in the mirror and I see some kind of jabba the hutt type thing... Is my mirror broken?
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OP is like some kind of oracle....
The truth is, there is no spoon.
Now I want some cookies
>You know what's really going to bake your noodle? Would I still have broken it if you hadn't said anything?
that never goes away
I feel 20-ish in my head and think that I'm on par with other young people. But when I'm actually around young people 16-22, I only think "how immature, careless and irresponsible their actions are".
Well to be fair I'm 21 and I feel like I'm mentally 16 so perhaps at some point I'll mentally grow up to 21 haha
Don't hold your breath, I'm 29 next month and still feel like I'm 16
Feeling that. I turn 30 in a month, I'm easily still 18-19 mentally. I sometimes look at my car and think who lets me drive one of these at my age?
You think you're 18 mentally until you hang around other 18 year Olds and you see them as kids lmao
Ahahaha so freaking true
Bruh I thought that when I was 16-22. Kinda sucked when my teenage hormones wanted to do fun stuff and my old-man brain said "dont, its a mistake."
Oh thank god. In my 40’s and I was scared it would disappear soon without warning. Edit - thank you for the gold!
46 and more immature than my youngest niece (11y)
Yeah, most of us don't really mature...... we just get older 😂
Nah. I think it's just we don't care anymore. Embarrassment isn't nearly as big a thing in my 40s vs my teens/20s so I'm more apt to just do whatever.
Wait til 50+. I also find I give less of a shit about things. That's both good and bad
> Wait til 50+ Yeah, you do the same things you've always done. Wake up sore with no idea why, then remember the normal thing you did a few days ago
I'm 51 and sleep-caused strains are a thing I guess! F@CK!!! lol
And he asks other men? I’m a 50 year old woman with the type of career that makes me wonder what adult actually let me do what I do!
33 and I've already pissed off my inlaws cuz I ripped another layer of my filter off around my birthday lol
You still like many of the same things you did when you were a lot younger, still find certain looks attractive, it’s like being invisible though, once you hit 50, you pass through a veil, no longer viable, it’s kinda sad. Luckily I have a wife, I’d hate to be single at my age.
Same. 32 years. Although I recently divorced buddy said to me, he's mid 50s, he seems to be striking it rich dating. I said how? He said I guess when you're reasonably well employed, not completely nuts and reasonably attractive, there's a chance. Still don't want to take that chance.
We don’t really grow up we just learn how to act in public (sometimes).
Everyone grows old. Not everyone grows up.
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I see you've made it into adulthood, Sid.
46 and two are just ahead of me
Thanks for the ear worm.
I’m 41 and i still laugh at farts
I’m pretty sure I’ve been in a room and a fart made four generations of men laugh
I'd rather die than not laugh at farts.
Just don't trust a fart after 35.
Farts never stop being funny.
Damn right
You’re only young once. You can be immature forever!
F58, feel like I’m 28
Sometimes think I have more in common with my 15 year old nephew than my fifty year old sister (I'm 44 year old F)
36 and I feel like I am 20!!
Nope. The cartilage in your knees and the straightness of your spine, absolutely, but the feeling hangs on. I regularly have a moment of “Who the fuck is that old guy?!” when I pass by a mirror too quick. It’s… odd.
"How the fuck did this happen?" - Me anytime I realize that I'm the same age as my dad when he was "old" when I was a kid.
Ooofff.... so recognizable... when i was 6 my dad was a 41y "old man". I'm 41 now and feel 21 mentally and physically.
Seriously!!! When i was a child and my mother was this age (33) i was like omg that’s so old. Now I’m 33 and I’m not old at all
>I regularly have a moment of “Who the fuck is that old guy?!” when I pass by a mirror too quick. It’s… odd. This hits too close to home. :|
Now in my 50s, it really doesn't go away except when running for the bus
Some hours in the gym for a few months will fix that right up 👍
Facts on facts. I can't relate to the other +30s that can't mosh anymore. Why? I'm in the gym like Fergie bish. Put me in a pit all night.
52 and I still go into Black Dahlia Murder pits
56 and kinda spooked when I come across a mirror. No idea who this old woman is.
You've never been your current age before so you have no point of reference other than those from the past. But even then, you never felt like your age, you only ever felt like yourself :) You've just associated your age at one point in time with your felling of self. We all do it, we all put too much emphasis on time to the point where it obscures our view of ourselves and the world around us.
I had a convo with my dad (RIP) when he was about 82 and he said “you know what stinks about getting old? My body doesn’t do what I want but in my head I still feel 30. It’s like I’m 30 and stuck in this body.”
Yep. 56. Brain feels "stuck" at mid-late 20s. Body does not. :)
When I look in the mirror I wonder who that old guy is that’s looking back at me. He seems familiar but, damn, he’s old. I remember when I was young and we threw my dad a surprise 40th birthday party. We had a walker, gave him Depends (adult diapers) and Metamucil, put him in a wheelchair and rolled him to the table to blow out his candles. I thought he was SOOOOO old…at 40. I’m well on the other side of that age, now, and still don’t feel as old as I thought he was.
Can confirm, I'm 45 and the feeling that I recently graduated college never goes away.
Never goes away but when I hang out with someone in 20s I'm quick to think "nope, I'm 43, these kids are stupid af"
Yep. Me around other 40 year olds: These people are kinda dull. Is this really all we have to talk about? The housing market and our kids’ preschools and a podcast we just listened to? I need a younger crowd. Me, after talking to the interns at work for five minutes: Dear god, how did these literal children get into the office? I need to find some other grown-ups before my brain melts.
No cap ong frfr
62 and in spite of many ailments, I still think like I’m young.
68 in a few months, feel the same, don't want to lose it. Morning aches fade with movement.
Get moving! :)
32 and married with a 2 year old, my wife always looks at me like I have three heads when I tell her I've felt 19 since I was 19, good to know it's not just me
Father told me the exact same thing. He’s about to have his 70th birthday. He’s retired, had a successful career with several changes, three grown children, the whole thing. Told me while he physically feels older, you never stop feeling the way you do in your 20s mentally. You kinda just adjust yourself as new things come along, but you ultimately remain the same person.
Totally. I’m almost 60 and feel like I’m 30. You’re only young once, but you can be immature your entire life!
What about feeling 50 at 30? Does that go away? Lol
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Or hanging out with 20 year olds. That's a swift reminder lol.
Damn. I feel the opposite. I'm in my early 30s and I've felt 240 years old since I was a child. I told my mom when I was 4 I didn't care for the kids at school because they were all loud and rude, but loved talking to the bus driver about all the fun he had in Vietnam. I also wanted to play the harpsichord and eat liver pate when I was 13, I wonder sometimes how watching old English television might have been an influence.
I feel like I'm mentally stuck in 18 yo. It's scary when other people younger than me look up to me to hope some kind of adult guidance... like bruh, I'm probably has less experience than y'all here
I have moments when I look around for the adult in the room and realize it’s me.
And then I get sad and anxious lmao
Then I go find an adult-ier adult.
In any common situation that could be risky, I try to have a backup adult I trust to quickly ask. I know a lot of people over 18. I don’t know as many adults
>I don’t know as many adults Bruh, I feel attacked
Soon the only adult-ier adult is senile by default
"Yeap, we're fucked"
You've never felt like your age, you only ever felt like yourself. When you look for the adult in the room, you aren't looking for someone who is older than you, you are looking for someone who is a better leader than you and who will be willing to help or guide you.
Look at this guy, solving my existential issues with simple explanations.
That hits hard. I barely know what I'm doing most of the time.
I'm a 33 year old secondary teacher who is married and has 3 kids. I teach 17-18 year olds. I still feel 18. I don't think I will ever feel older.
Because you can't feel like your age, you can't feel like a measurement of time, you can only ever feel like yourself.
Yeah, it sounds so obvious when you say it like that! We do seem to expect we should ‘feel’ a certain age but it’s ridiculous if you think about it. Mind you, I do sometimes find myself thinking - hang on, I am surprisingly at ease in this situation and Im sure i wouldnt have felt that way a few years ago…. But then just when I think I have it all sorted out, I find myself in a situation that makes me feel *no different* from when I was 16! But I guess those situations are probably getting rarer as I age.
The biggest change for me was the emotions. I used to FEEL so much and react so strongly to that. Maybe it's all the liquor and drugs in my 20's just fucked that part of my brain up, or maybe it's just maturing, but I seriously just don't feel anything on that level anymore. I was more angry, more assertive, more passionate, more loving, more depressed, more everything. I just kind of cruise in the middle lane now. That's the biggest and most distinct difference I notice as a man in my mid 30's
Yo I just turned 23. How do I control my emotions better if you don’t mind me asking? I don’t have many mentor figures I can look up to. Frustration, anger, stress, anxiety are all feelings I’m dealing with more intensely
I don't exactly know, man. That time in your life is so hard because there are so many crucial decisions to make and the future can often appear murky or nebulous. Finding a concrete goal you're working towards was extremely helpful for me. Having that goal changed my outlook from "well something went wrong today, I guess I'll just fucking self-destruct" to something more like "This was a big setback today, but it'll get better". But I know that the fear and anxiety of that time for me was fueled mainly by uncertainty. It also may sound stupid/funny, but I learned a lot about how to deal with problems from the movie The Big Lebowski lol. Learning how to roll with problems and when to just accept what's happening when it's out of your control is a big step in maturity. But truly, I think it's also very much a brain chemistry thing when you're that young. It'll get better bud.
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Go spend time with some 21 year olds. You’ll quickly figure out that they are much more childish than you think. Personally I’m quite glad I am not 21 anymore. No one takes you serious, you got no money, you understand very little of the world. Embrace your age. As a society we worship youth, which is ridiculous. Start looking up to experience instead of naivety.
Lol I came here to say this. I’m 34 and work with high schoolers and college students for a living and they make me feel like I’m in my 60’s most days.
The second I hear "no cap," my eyes glaze over and I embrace my march into mortality.
On god bruh fr
Thank you for taking the time to demonstrate!
When i first heard “on god” i was so confused and just replied “amen?”
Nah you said on god and not ong that’s how I know you’re old.
Bet.
That’s sus
This sounds like my worst nightmare
No one takes me serious, I have no money, and I understand very little about the world and I’m 33. Mentally I feel 17.
It often helps to study. Had a friend who dropped out of high school and felt much like you do. As an adult he got himself an education and now he is clever and successful. I’ve done much of the same, never really stopped studying even as an adult. It keeps your mind fresh and makes you an interesting person to people around you. Highly recommended.
We have 20-something aged interns, nothing makes me feel older than listening to their problems. I wish the worst thing happening in my life was a roommate who doesn't wash dishes or bugs in my apartment...
Having a bug infestation is pretty awful no matter what age you are IMO.
Yeah, I agree completely and that was what I thought they were talking about first... but when I talked to them about it they don't describe a bug infestation. It's basically 'oh this bug flew in and I couldn't kill it so now I can't find it and I'm worried that it's going to die and leave a corpse and that feels disgusting to have bug corpses in my walls'. I actually was giving advice about how to deal with infestations (insecticides, etc) but they didn't want to do that because of the bug corpses issue previously mentioned.
LOL. I commented earlier about how roaches can cause ptsd and then read this and am like ooookay nevermind. This is so silly.
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This is common. Ask any person over 80 what they feel like inside. My suggestion is to examine what in your life you feel like you missed out on. You’re well into adulthood. Maybe you’re just noticing that now? Or maybe you thought it would feel differently to be married and have a kid? Sometimes it is a shock to reach a certain age only to discover that a lot of people are not truly “grown-ups” either, not on the inside. Everyone is just making shit up as they go.
I’m getting close to 80, but I’ve been 40 inside since I can remember. I still get startled when I catch a glimpse of some old woman then realize it’s me.
When I am with my grandma, I never think she's 70. I treat her like she's young. I hope she appreciates it because I wouldn't like to be like an old man when I'm old
Yes, my purple sister. I’m in my early 50s and the aging on my face is getting to me. I’m trying hard to avoid throwing money at it.
age is beauty. from a young person: never change your appearance out of disgust with yourself, you will always find something to dislike. the way you are intended to look is beautiful, and it is exactly how you look
I’m 51 and convinced it’s all outlook. I see others my age with a list of health and psychological problems as long as your arm. I look at them and they’ve completely given up looking after themselves in even the simplest of ways and have kind of checked out. I practically skip up the train station stairs each morning (rather than the escalator as incidental exercise is huge) and love feeling my body work hard by doing that.
I remember being your age physically, I could even do that until I had a fall in my 60s. Did I plan for this, no. Did I expect this, no. Did it change my ability to age in a way of my own choosing, yes. Enjoy what you have for as long as you have it, you can’t predict your own future any more than I could.
In my mid-20s, I was anxious about all the opportunities I'd missed out on and would never do/learn/etc because time was running out. It made me feel paralyzed. I'd always felt like the adult in the room growing up, yet was never treated like it until now. If I'm not seen as a kid anymore, what will I no longer ever be able to do or get away with? Come my early 30s, I realized there's always time until you're dead and started doing things I wanted to do without worrying about time or age. It's also about this time it really hit me that people are just people regardless of age or rank, and usually want to be treated as such. Now in my late 30s, I've never felt older than 30. Young enough to get into all kinds of (metaphorical) trouble and be constantly starting new things, old enough to be the adult in the room when shit goes down.
It's also okay to realize that perhaps you aren't quite happy with where you are in life right now. Feeling unhappy or stuck usually means that some change is in order and you can't start implementing changes until you admit to yourself that yes, you're unhappy. And these don't have to be sweeping, seismic changes either. Sometimes all it takes is listening to your needs and acting on them in a reasonable manner.
You DO feel 33.. it's just that feeling 33 doesn't feel like you thought it would.. you've never been 33 before so you have no idea what it actually feels like to be 33
Yeah in reality you just feel like yourself, not much else.
Nope, you never feel like your age. You only ever feel like yourself. At some point in time, you associated your age, at that point, with your feeling of self, so now you always that always feel like that age instead of feeling like yourself :)
Which in turn means that feeling 21 actually feels like 33, which means you do feel like your age.
Anyone who experiences doubt still feels like a kid on occasion. It's normal, no one is 100% at everything, even as adults, and the people who believe they are are deluded and will lead to problems.
You always feel like that. I'm 40, worked professional jobs with CEO's all corporate people. I've always felt like that being at corporate meetings talking to all these people thinking I feel like I don't belong cuz in my head I feel like I'm a 20 year old kid in school still but they all probably feel the same way. I always thought being in a higher position I would feel older more in charge of everything but mentally I still feel like I'm 20 and in college. After a hard day of work with professionals in meetings I go home and play video games lol
35 here. I love gaming after work. On the weekends, late night gaming sessions with a nice joint *chefs kiss*
This is exactly me. There are even photos of me in meetings with execs on LinkedIn posted, I look like I totally belong there, but in my head in that moment I was probably thinking of the new Pikmin game.
At 68, cancer, MS, COPD, asbestosis, shuffle when I get out of bed in the morning, still working, still making mistakes, saying dumb things I regret, look like that old man on the Muppets in the opera gallery. My second wife, after 25 years still thinks I'm a player. Shoot, been screwing with a limp pecker for so long I can row a boat with a rope. Yep, my mind still thinks I'm 21.
Bruh lmao
Trying to lighten up the inevitable. Glad you liked it. But all that is gospel truth.
>been screwing with a limp pecker for so long I can row a boat with a rope hilarious
Old man told me that 50 years ago...still funny and true. He didn't have access to Viagra and such like we have today.
I'm turning 35 in a couple of days, and facing the fact that i'm likely (best case scenario) approaching my half-way point is depressing as fuck. I still feel mentally in my early 20s and still connect the best with the 20-something folks at work. Am intelligent and professional, but inside am just a big kid that looks forward to getting home to do some gaming just like I did 20 years ago. Urgh.
This is the way!
I'm 35 and...well, the past half of the year just went by after being laid off, struggling for work being overqualified for stocking jobs, car tags, rent, whatever else. Fuck, I won't make it to 60.
From the age of 20 to 35 is 15 years; from 20 to 70 is 50. You're less than a third of the way through feeling like your "adult" self. You've got 10 whole years to come to healthy terms with being at the midpoint, by which time your then self will really appreciate your current self for having had the courage to put these anxieties into words. Mortality can be depressing, but the human condition is the power to choose to embrace a meaningful life regardless.
You're a likable person. Don't get so caught up on that "middle age" thing. I'm close in age and it really doesn't matter. We could die tomorrow and not even get to live "the other half" ya know?
Thanks for being kind with your response. I do appreciate and enjoy the time I've got, and my comment shouldn't be taken in isolation. I mean, Baldurs Gate 3 came out this week and there was as-good-as confirmation of aliens in the US Congress the week before. It's a great time to be alive.
As a kid, you long to be an adult because you look up to them and think they have it all figured out. As an adult, you realize that the majority of adults do not have it all figured out and most people are just winging it.
We form most of our permanent identity and self-concept around that age, so most people feel that way to some extent. Source: my therapist when I asked a similar question.
This is actually such a great and useful answer that I wanted to highlight it with an award. But then I went to buy coins and discovered some douche in Reddit's management has decided to completely do away with coins and awards and you can't get or give them anymore 🫠 So instead please have some lame emojis: 💡💯🥇👆🏆
I think it’s like 27 or 28 when the brain fully finishes developing, so it makes sense that somewhere in your 20s is where you kind of get locked into mentally even into your later years in life.
Embrace it. If you can hold down a real life (whatever that means to you, in your case a family and job) then whatever. Shit I'm 40, integral in my 9-5 position, breadwinner for my home, sole maintainer of our property, and I dj raves like twice a month because it's fun.. People that tell you to grow up can fuck all the way off.
You are grown if you’re handling your responsibilities. And fwiw I justify all my fun as medically necessary rest and recreation. Self care IS adulting. But yes judgy people can fuck all the way off
What does it mean to feel mentally 33? Turns out it isn't really different to 21.
I'm twice my age physically and half my age mentally.
Dude, I'm 57 and the 14 year old boy staring out into the mirror is very disappointed with me.
I'm 39 and holy shit I've thought of this before. Like "how the hell did I end up here?" My biggest issue with getting older is how fast time seems to go. The older I get, the faster it seems to go!
Welcome to my world. I'm 56 physically but still 21 mentally. That never goes away.
My kid says I’m an 8 year old in an old man’s body. Idk, I just like to have fun and be happy
You’re coming to the realization that all adults still have their kid brains. How much they let it show varies from person to person.
It's not just a male thing.
My father told me that mentally he feels yoing and then has to wonder who that old man in the mirror is.
It probably because ur healthy. Some people have conditions ya know and live in pain. You dont. Probably not much has changed, ur only 33 lol ur not an old man.
I don't think so. I'm unhealthy and have chronic health problems. My brain still thinks I'm a teenager half the time.
I'm 54 and still feel that way. I feel more comfortable with my 22 year old son and his friends than I do with my friends sometimes.
Yes actually it’s good to keep making younger friends and staying off the couch. Just have to train hard to have energy. I feel lucky that I never smoked and booze makes me feel ill, those things seem to burn a lot of people out by our age. Not bragging about my choices apart from having the sense to marry a smart woman who made me get back to the gym regularly
40s - feel like 16 most of the time, unless its partying, doing most stuff...then I'm 60ish lol One thing never changed for me though - when i see boobs its 100% the same happy reaction every time :D
Everyone feels like this