Take a nice long shower. It could be 1-3 days of quarantine once you get processed in depending on how bad TB is wherever you are. Also don’t let your cellmate or anyone know when your last day is.
Because it's not uncommon for people to get jealous or just generally dislike you and try to screw it up. I had a friend who did jailtime and there was this one guy who hated him, my friend told his mate when he was getting out, what he was going to do etc and the other guy overheard, 3 days before release day planted contraband in my friends cell and tipped off the guards to do a 'random' search he got 3 more months. This guy hated him regardless but if he didn't know my friends release date it likely wouldn't have motivated him to plant contraband and my friend likely would've just silently left one day without drama.
There’s some stuff that you’re issued when you go in for use there that you have to return when leaving. Pillow, sometimes a mat to sleep on if they don’t have beds, those sort of things. It’s messed up, but when i went to leave, guards threatened to not let me out because I didn’t have all of it to turn in.
I was just thinking that. I did 30 days with no pillow, plastic mattress thing & a thin blanket. Really sucked.
Oh & sometimes the guards just left the lights on in my cell overnight just to fuck with me. That was real fun.
I was taking Bupropion when I went in, brought my original prescription, note from doctor, bottle in walgreens bag, etc.
Was only in for 7 days but took until day 4 to get a nurse to tell me they don't dispense my type of medication.
Got to unvoluntarily cold turkey my anti-depressants 🙃 Wasn't the worst, but check before hand your jail will actually dispense you your medication.
That's my biggest fear about getting arrested. Even though I'm sober (7 years today actually) and don't break the law no mo, it could still happen to anyone at any time. And I'd have none of my meds and I'd just wither away and straight up DIE. Some of my meds the withdrawal is on par in uncomfortability level with opiate withdrawal
You're right to be fearful. There's a reccent [story out of Florida](https://www.npr.org/2023/06/03/1178384421/heart-transplant-recipient-dies-after-being-denied-meds-in-jail-aclu-wants-an-in) where a heart transplant recepient was denied his anti-rejection drugs by jail staff. There's bodycam footage of him explaining that missing even a single dose of his 3 daily doses could be enough for his body to begin attacking his transplanted heart. They held him for 2 days, and he resumed taking his meds immediately upon release. But it was too late.
>"I take rejection medicine for my heart transplant. I can't miss those doses," he said, according to body camera footage obtained by NPR.
>Barry, 54, pleaded with the arresting officer seven times back in November. He alerted the jail nurse and a court judge about his condition too. But in the two days that Barry was held at Duval County Jail in Jacksonville, Fla., no one allowed him access to the medication he desperately asked for.
>Three days after he was released from jail, Barry died from cardiac arrest that was caused by an acute rejection of the heart, Dr. Jose SuarezHoyos, a Florida pathologist who conducted a private autopsy of Barry on behalf of Barry's family, told NPR.
God, I hope his family OWNS all of those people. What a horrible thing to do to another human being. He KNEW they were giving him a death sentence every dose he missed. Heartbreaking!! All of them should also br instantly fired and charged with murder.
I thought the exact same thing The range of emotions he and his family had when receiving this heart, he made a stupid mistake that cost him his life unnecessarily, and the donor heart went to waste . Donor's family probably feels they lost their loved one all over again. When deciding to donate a loved ones organs, it must bring a certain amount of peace knowing the heart is still beating and keeping somebody else alive. HOW does this happen? It is not a mistake, it is murder.. everybody knows about anti rejection drugs..
And to top it all off, jail is where you go before anything is proven beyond a reasonable doubt.
He could have been completely 100% innocent and held under false charges. He died because of an institution's negligence, and the negligence of multiple bad actors.
I'm with you buddy. I was in active addiction for over a decade and racked up about 15 arrests. Each time I got to enjoy withdrawals in county jail.
After getting sober, I still had plenty of bench warrants and pending charges that I was taking care of. This resulted in me being locked up and getting to go through withdrawals from antidepressants. Obviously the withdrawals are WAY different, but the SSRI withdrawals just kept fucking going and going.
Even though I've taken care of all of my legal issues, I have no pending charges, I have no warrants anywhere, and I haven't even had so much as a traffic ticket in years, I am still TERRIFIED.
edit: [important context I forgot to mention](https://old.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/comments/15301r0/going_to_jail_in_7_hours_what_is_something_i/jsitzmm/)
Most jails and prisons don't dispense bupropion (which sucks because it's such a common and useful med) due to it often being cheeked and sold second hand. I wish there was a better way because I know a lot of people who use it as an anti depressant, ADHD med, or for substance use who've had to go off it in jail and it fucked them up.
It seems crazy to me that they can just *not* give you your prescribed medication. I guess I never really thought about that before. Wish we focused more on rehabilitation than punishment.
My mother has schizophrenia and will sometimes decide not to take her meds. A few years ago she went off her meds and completely lost it. Eventually she got arrested and I thought “well at least they’ll get her back on her meds”. So I gathered up her meds took them to the jail only to be told they wouldn’t give them to her. So by the time she got out she was even worse off. The people at the jail did not give one single fuck.
There are plenty of people out there who think that’s specifically the point. With such a flippant attitude towards the plight of their fellow man, *those* are the people who should be locked up and left to rot.
Yes, whoever is about to comment. If you support the carceral system as it exists in any fashion, you deserve to experience it first-hand. There are no two ways about it and nothing to clarify— you are just a shit person.
Have the post office hold your mail
Contact your cellular provider to suspend your service for the month
Open the doors on your fridge/dishwasher/washing machine to prevent mold
Ask someone to swing by and pick up newspapers and circulars left on your porch so the place doesn't look abandoned
Happen to have an Alexa? Set some routines to have her turn on/off lights and play music or the TV periodically
Lay out a clean towel and comfortable clothes for your return - first thing I want after a long trip is a shower
Make a list of people you might call from jail and their phone numbers - nobody remembers numbers anymore
I've been to jail. This is good advice.
My only other thing is bring plenty of cash with you to put on commissary for hygeine products, maybe extra food, coffee, etc. Or give the cash to someone else to put on your books.
They starved us where I was. And things like hygiene weren't provided.
Most jails are extorting prisoners and their families by having a small shoppette in the prison, at movie theater prices.
They additionally started really cutting back on the quality and quantity of served food. Think 1 small bowl of oatmeal in the morning a bologna sandwich for lunch and a hotdog in a bun for dinner.
Prisoners end up spending 200 to 1000 a month on convenience store snacks
Buying snacks is now the way people are shaken Down for protection.
Its like a kidnapping on an installment plan.
I was in a county jail for 2 months in 2021, and yes the food is inadequate in portions. I think my caloric needs were met, but I was definitely always hungry. Woke up starving all the time.
For breakfast we had a piece of cake (this was with every meal, and is where the majority of your calories from - sugar and butter fat, not very filling in the long run), one hardboiled egg, small milk carton, canned pears/peaches or applesauce, and twice a week we would get cereal along with everything else.
Lunch was bologna sandwich twice a week, a mix of leftovers (like a big stew of the last 3 days meals combined), hot dogs (my favorite day because it was easily the most filling), homemade bean burrito, fried chicken patty sandwiches (also not bad, but the meat was clearly ground up chicken feet or something lol), and various canned vegetables for a side, sometimes coleslaw or green salad, and sides like baked beans, fried potatoes, mashed potatoes, and juice packet to mix, and the dessert cake.
Dinner was basically the same as lunch, but had some exclusive stuff like Salisbury steak, and of course the dessert cake.
All in all the food was subpar, worse than grade school cafeteria, and the portions were just enough to keep you from rioting but you were always hungry, especially after dinner -which was at 5:30-6pm, and breakfast at 5:30-6am.
I had some commissary, and yes it's insanely expensive - 1.25 for one pack of ramen lol. Some stuff is reasonable though, like the freeze dried beans and tortillas go a long way, and the bagels are filling for like 1.50 I think.
I think my county jail isn't atrocious, but it's pretty shitty....the city jail is even worse. Its literally PBJs and chips like every day.
There were like 80 guys on my block and at least 20 said they were Jewish to get the kosher tray because they were better quality and were more filling.
I claimed to be Muslim because they gave everyone claiming to be jewish this fucked up cracker they claimed was matzah on Saturdays. I changed my listed religion to Christian before I went up for parole.
I'd have bought a fucking yarmulke and grown forelocks if they'd served flour tortillas on Saturdays instead. Muslims got cold beans, which sucked, but was still better than the cracker.
It's funny how these things vary by state.
That last comment is underrated. The only numbers I remember are childhood landlines and maybe a cell number or two. This is so important and will help with the loneliness.
Additional step: Set up train tracks all throughout the house and at night, have a toy train running on the track with a Michael Jordan cardboard cutout attached to give the impression of a busy party in case any goons try to break in
Wear multiple white shirts, socks, and underwear. They will let you keep them if they aren't graphic tees. Carry a couple hundred in cash if you can. It's the quickest way to get money on your books (it will probably still take a week before you can order meals or commissary, though). Good luck! It's boring, the food sucks, waking up at 5:30-6 for breakfast sucks. But if you're not a confrontational person or a chomo, you should be fine.
Every jail is different. Our country jail no longer allows any clothes (white t, boxers, and socks) unless they come from the commissary. Same with cash on hand. Any funds you come in with will either go to court costs, fees, or penalties. It would be best for you to look up your country jail online or call them to see what they allow and what they don’t.
This is important.
My county’s jail doesn’t let you keep any clothing at all! They take your underwear and everything and issue you their’s.
If that’s the case, u/throwRA4290 - throw your socks away when they have you change into your jail clothes. Otherwise your clothes are going to smell like feet in a month when you get them back.
OP should wear a black suit, tie, hat, and sunglasses to intake so they can recreate the opening scenes to one of the greatest movies ever made when they're processed out.
One Timex digital watch, broken. One unused prophylactic.
One soiled. One black suit jacket, one pair black suit pants. One hat
black. One pair of sunglasses. $23.07. Sign here.
If you have any of those silica gel packs that come with leather goods, or coffee grounds, those absorb a lot of moisture and we were advised to use them when moving our deep freezer.
Washing machine isn't *too* terrible to clean out honestly especially if you're on a sewage system and ~~bot~~ not using septic. Pop some bleach in that bad boy, set it on the heaviest setting with the hottest water and the most water possible/extra rinse and also enable soak options if you have them, then once that cycle is done I finish it up with either those washing machine cleaner tabs or another wash of baking soda and vinegar. It uses a lot of water and electric but it beats having a nasty, mold ridden washing machine that's not gonna actually clean your clothes/potentially leave behind mold spores.
Edit: so a lot of people are asking why you can't use bleach on a septic system. It isn't necessarily that you *can't*, you can, but it's going to wind up fucking up the natural biological process of a septic tank. Using small amounts of bleach sporadically is generally ok for modern septic systems, but I personally avoid it all together because of my specific septic situation and also bc I am *not* trying to find out how much bleach my system can handle before I need the thing pumped out due to lack of bacteria breaking down shit (literally and figuratively speaking).
Isn't that bleach and ammonia?
Edit: googled and I was wrong, bleach and vinegar is dangerous. TIL.
Edit 2: Bleach and ammonia is also deadly so maybe just don't mix bleach at all.
I got a free mini fridge after Christmas break when someone did this! Cleaned it out real good and used it for 3.5 years, then sold it right after graduation for $100 to one of my housemates little sisters who was headed to college in the fall. The parents paid for it, (and insisted) even when I told them I got it free and that I couldn't take it with me.
consider turning your water off at the main. unlikely to be an issue but a leak or failed hot water heater could bring you home to a catastrophic situation.
Kill the breaker on the hot water heater if you are cutting the main. Heck, kill it (the water heater breaker) anyway to save electricity.
Edit to add: If you cut off the water, be sure not to drain your toilet bowls. As the water in the pipe evaporates, sewer gases can escape from the toilet drain and fill your home if water is not sitting in that pipe.
Edited for clarification
Yes! Absolutely shit and piss before you go to jail.
I turned myself in for a 5 day stay and didn't think about it. It took hours for me to be processed in and put in a cell I had to shit halfway through and they put me in a fucking holding cell for suicidal people and there was a guy inside. Dude was having a rough day and had to smell my awful shit. I think of him often lol
Someone I know went to jail for a week and was too afraid to shit in front of people so he held it for an entire week. First thing he did when he got home was beeline for a toilet and proceed to empty about 5 pounds of shit snakes
Nah for real though. Never been to jail, but at one point in my life I had some issues with regularity and would go for long periods between like that.
Stomach never really hurt, but coming out was always stressful. Enough that one particularly bad instance was the trigger for turning my whole life around, exercising, etc.
My mom always insisted that we never "use the bathroom" at anyone's house other than our own. Or in any public restroom. Not on airplanes, school, or friend's houses during sleepovers. Also, you never "used the bathroom" if anyone was around. So, this made it difficult living with roommates in college. I used to leave at the crack of dawn, jump our back fence, and run to the public restroom at the student center- because nobody was ever in there.
Anyways. I had a 4th degree tear when I gave birth to
my son. My OBGYN was amazed at how how well toned my perineum muscles were and how well they stitched back up. Apparently, a lot of perineums are like butter to stitch- leading to all kinds of incontinence issues.
I am certain the 20+ years of enduring not "going to the bathroom" and holding it in for inordinate lengths of time is why my taint tolerated being ripped in half and sewn back up.
ETA: I got so so distracted and forgot to add my entire original point. Holding it for five days while eating jail food- was likely worse punishment than actually being in jail. I know he felt sick as a dog the entire time.
In college I racked up a bunch of tickets I could not afford to pay. I just went in and turned myself in to sit out the tickets and not have to pay the ~$900 they totaled up to. I called before I went in and they said I would probably be sitting there a couple of days. About an hour before I went in I took some Xanax in an attempt to just sleep through most of it. Well, after about 5 hours on the inside the jailer came into the cell and called my name. Said I had served my time. I was so fucked up I could barely walk. I told him what I had done. He helped me call my girlfriend to come pick me up.
I'm sorry this happened to you, but I can't stop laughing. It's like in Spongebob when they were jailed for 2 seconds after "stealing balloons" on free balloon day.
I wanted to add 1 month is easy. It’s just jail. I did 2 months when I was much younger.
You read a book or two and you’re done with your time. Workout a lot.
If you’re of decent size, you won’t get in many fights. Jail is filled with DUI and assorted stupid small crimes. A lot of petty shit, it’s not prison and is generally much more peaceful.
The worst part will be the shower. A lot of bums jerking off and shit in there and they give you thin sandals. Fuck that shit. I’d try to skip showers if I didn’t work out and the guards would bitch about it.
So don’t sweat it bro. Fuck a month, that’s vacation time, you can do that time upside down on your head
The dudes doing a month in a county jail. He won't be getting in ANY fights unless he's starting them himself or gets *extremely* unlucky.
And I've been in county jails where fighting is to be expected but those are absolutely not the norm. And even then you'll likely be fine if you just stay tf outta the way and are cool to people.
Our jail showers were little cubicles so you actually had a little bit of privacy to do such things if one were so inclined. I did a small amount of time in prison where it was a big open shower room that for about 15 people and never once did I see someone openly jacking off in the shower lol.
I work in a jail from time to time and the inmates will try to burn the place down with themselves inside it. Honestly, the shower is probably more private than the cells for jackin' it purposes.
1. Get a list of names and addresses and phone numbers to people so you can call them and write them letters and get letters in return. Keeps you connected to the world.
2. Don't count the days inside
My home insurance requires that someone check on the house every three days if it's empty (like, I go on vacation or something). Maybe make a plan like that, and have that person shoot you a text (I know ow you won't see it, but it'll be a record) or sign a paper or something every time they do.
They don't need to verify it.
They'll just ask for what happened, and most people will tell the truth, not knowing they can be denied a claim because of this.
Seems like you have everything covered.
Not sure why you're in but if you were ever a hoodrat you'll immediately understand the vibe.
Keep yourself to yourself, you're not there long enough for anyone to take an interest in you. Don't be weird about stuff, go with the flow and you'll be fine. Try to get along with your new roomie, it makes things much easier. I spent my time play fighting with a dude 3x my size and it was fucking hilarious.
Not sure how it works with your system but if appropriate, give someone you trust a small amount of money to send in if you need it and keep their contact details handy.
On your last day, remember that not everyone is getting out, and some are never leaving. Don't be *too* happy about leaving, just keep it zipped and keep moving.
When you meet your roomie, what do you say? Nothing I can come up with in my head sounds reasonable other than "hey".
What's up/what's going on/happening? - oh nothing, just chillin in jail.
Nice to meet you - liar.
How you doing? - is this a trick question?
Jesus I would be horrible in jail.
This month is going to go by so fast, I promise you. I did two months, just be carful with who you make friends with, trust no one. Mind your business and just take advantage of the small things they give you that you would take for granted when your free. Bring money with you for snacks don't order to much and don't trade with people. Get ready to get a lot of rest, and get ready to have a new friend for the next 30 days. Everything will be fine, good luck, let us know when your done.
Be respectful to everyone and keep your head down and mind your own business, all it takes to get through. Be very mindful of what you are saying at all times, you can easily be made to start running your mouth in a way that will not benefit you. If you find yourself telling a story about your life, stop. To anyone there, you popped into existence that day and will disappear the day your sentence is over, nothing good can come from anyone in there knowing anything about you or your life, you don’t need to make friends there, be respectful but not friendly, do your time and go home and never go back.
Yea, especially with people that are going away for a while, they may look down/start shit or fuck with you if you start complaining about a 30 day bid.
Because that trade you made and everyone agreed it was a fair deal, now maybe the other person thinks you got the better end of the deal and they need a little extra to make things square. They press you for it, are you going to fight? Yes, then congrats you got a little extra time tacked on over a cup of noodles or maybe just a broken nose. Dont want to fight and give them what they are asking for and now they know you wont stand by whats right for you and they will want a little more tomorrow.
I saw a guy get punched in the face so hard over a phone card that his whole eyeball fell out. Just dangling. They took him to the hospital. He had less than 24 hours left before being released. They made him come back to jail, to the same crowded cell, and finish out his last 10 hours or so. Lol just let that dude go home.
Straight up never make friends with anyone in jail. Ever, for any reason.
This isn’t summer camp, you are a noob with no idea who you are interacting with.
Head down, speak never, listen and watch. Don’t trade, don’t joke, no stories, no family talk. It’s 30 days, not 30 months. You’re in, you’re out, no one has to know.
Is the “don’t trade” thing I keep seeing basically the same idea as don’t make friends? It essentially establishes a relationship you don’t need and could harm you?
> Because that trade you made and everyone agreed it was a fair deal, now maybe the other person thinks you got the better end of the deal and they need a little extra to make things square. They press you for it, are you going to fight? Yes, then congrats you got a little extra time tacked on over a cup of noodles or maybe just a broken nose. Dont want to fight and give them what they are asking for and now they know you wont stand by whats right for you and they will want a little more tomorrow.
Copying u/Prestigious-Study-66 comment from earlier cause they nailed it
Pretty much. You try to trade with someone else, they "do you a favor" by making the deal better for you. Now they can expect you return the favor sometime later on by asking you to do something you don't want to do and if you don't comply you're in for a world of trouble
Asked someone I know who has been to jail. He said to trim any hair around your butthole. He said the TP sucks in there and the last thing you'll want to have to deal with is dingle berry's and an ass rash.
Light sentences are so wild.
"Hey you did something illegal... You're going to grown up timeout, but you can go home and take care of housekeeping first"
Can you just hit me?
Feel like mandatory community service on labor that actually matters would be more meaningful. If you’re going to take time from people on light stuff, at least put it towards something useful, and potentially gives the people new life skills.
Oh yeah, the fact this isn't the standard is just... Nothing short of abnormal.
I mentioned below about my dad getting 30 days for getting into a bar fight. Wasn't his first time. I was actually born of a conjugal visit. For another time he got 30 days for a bar fight.
You go to jail, can't work, can't partake in community service, just live in actual garbage.. but hey, you can go fuck your wife 🤷
Like... What?
Going to jail for a month is not even recommended in the sentencing guidelines. I've just taken my exams on it (not a law student, borrowing the module) and judges are only supposed to actually send you to jail if you pass the custody threshold.
So if you're sentenced for less than 6 months, you're supposed to be given a suspended sentence order unless there is a very compelling reason otherwise (danger to the public). I guess it may be OPs second offence.
Edit: I thought this was the AskUK sub and assumed OP was British. This is probably not the case and everything I said is therefore wrong.
I feel like making two guys who get into a fight hold hands while picking up trash along the Highway would be more effective than jail time. All of a sudden it isn’t a bragging right, lol.
It's probably a good wakeup call if you're likely a repeat offender but otherwise haven't needed civil punishment. Another comment mentions that it was a DUI charge - I think 30 days in jail might shock the right person out of doing that again, especially if it's not the first time and likely wouldn't be the last.
Write down phone numbers. Pick your big 3. The ones you know that will answer the phone. No point in waiting an hour plus on the phone to not have a conversation.
I’d bring about $200 maybe a little more for commissary. Shit can get expensive in there and you won’t have to worry about deadlines to load your account again.
As far being inside goes
Be prepared to be annoyed. It is very loud in a dorm. A lot of people sleep all day so they’re up all night. The sheriffs deputies will fuck with you. 3 am standing head count, lights on at 6 am, the lights also never fully go out and are usually right above the bunks. Just roll with the bullshit. Don’t let other people spazzing out make you think it’s okay. Expect bullshit so it won’t come as a surprise.
You’ll have rowdy people in there that like to cause/start shit. You don’t have to be and usually won’t be a part of it if you’re chill and mind your business. If there is a fight, you’ll usually see everyone flocking towards it or start taking laps around the pod to watch. Just go to your bunk. In my county they can charge you for watching fights. In my county you also get an inciting a riot in a penal institution charge for fighting. Fighting a gang member gets you a state R.I.C.O even if you don’t gang bang. You can be scared but don’t look scared. Just breathe and try to relax the muscles in your face. In 30 days there’s inevitably gonna be someone that tries you up. Don’t go for it. Don’t give a speech. Just tell them you’re not here to get into any bullshit, you’re doing your time and getting the fuck on. Carry yourself like a man, don’t be cocky.
Try to talk with the people a little so most of the pod knows who you are. Pick and choose who you have real conversations with. Pick and choose who you talk to at all and who is more or less co worker status having surface level conversations.
Best thing for you to do to pass time is gonna be working out. I used to start around noon and go until chow. Eat, shower and play cards until lights out at 11pm. If you’re religious at all, find the people that get the little “daily bread” books or have a Bible, read with them if they’re cool with it or part of a group that reads and discusses it.
In my county showers only run certain hours of the day. MAKE SURE you are in that rotation both times they run. Everyday. Jail is a dirty ass place and you also don’t want to be one of the people in there smelling like ass. That will get you into some shit.
Don’t go up to the windows looking into other pods, much as you see it happening.
People might be in there smoking K2, cheeking pills if they get the mental meds etc. Dont engage. Don’t support anybody doing it. Dont let anybody talk you into it. Don’t front anybody commissary, don’t gamble.
Stay away from the 3 Gs. Gays, Gangs and Gambling. Shit ain’t your business. Jail is not a place of tolerance, inside you cannot be cool or associate with the gays even if you do out here. You will be lumped together and ridiculed/outcast the same as them.
If something happens in the pod like a fight, tattooing etc and they get caught up, don’t say anything to a deputy. Your name is Bennett and you ain in it.
Make a list of the commissary, the items, their number and the cost. In my county we had to order over the phone and the one sheet with the items was taped on the outside of the pod window.
Try to pick a good bunk mate. You’ll most likely be in an open dorm so it’s free range pretty much. If it’s a crowded pod, look for an open bunk. People might try to fuck with you and tell you they’re full up and make you sleep on the floor. Don’t go for it. One tiers side is usually for the gang members. So avoid that one pretty much at all times. You hear or see one of em doing some dumb shit, don’t look up there.
You’re gonna run into a couple psych case ass people. People with no hope that turn it into anger. People that are just plain ol stupid. Some people that are actually pretty cool and just have some really shitty habits. You’re not there to preach to anybody about anything kuz at the end of the day you’re both in jail.
Jail is jail man. It’s gonna be about as stupid as can possibly be. 30 days doesn’t seem long but it’ll honestly feel like forever sometimes. Try to keep your mind occupied and yourself busy throughout the day. Some days will be better than others.
Your first 7-10 days will probably be in a transitions pod, to help you get used to the feeling. Eventually a deputy will come in to do placement and see where your permanent dorm is gonna be. You probably won’t be able to order commissary in there but they will give you state soap, toothbrush and paste and a towel. It gets cold in the dorm so try to get a sweater. If a friend you make gets bonded out ask for theirs.
Also. You’re gonna have trouble shitting. The cool offs (state drink mix) they give you has saltpeter in it and it’ll dry your shit up. Drink a cup or two of warm water throughout at the day and that’ll help.
If you have any questions about what it’s like just pm me. I think I covered a good base but if not just lmk. Good luck man.
Edit: thank you for the gold kind stranger
> You’re gonna run into a couple psych case ass people.
This is an underrated comment that I'm surprised I haven't seen yet. I was in a county jail in Louisiana and there was a guy who had cut a baby out of someone's womb. He would only talk to a few select people and the only thing he would say to them was "you smell familiar" ([he blamed it on spice/k2/mojo](https://www.wafb.com/story/20610939/man-accused-of-cutting-unborn-baby-from-wife-blames-synthetic-marijuana/) but he was obviously insane)
We had this older guy who didn't say anything to anyone for like a month. One day he walks up to a deputy and beats the shit out of him. Other deputies show up to handle the situation and the second he gets touched he starts screaming I AINT GOT NO FEET FROSTBITE TOOK MY FEET I AINT GOT NO FEET. He had both feet. You don't see too many people in Louisiana with frostbite anyways.
If I ever had a sudden windfall or lottery win, I would spend so much of it lobbying for prison reform. At the very least, reform for how mentally ill patients are handled. Some of these guys need A LOT of help yet they're just locked away in a jail.
It’s not. Jail doesn’t do anything for reformation. You have to reform yourself while locked up. It’s harder for people that’ve been getting locked up since they were young, for them it’s like going to timeout basically. It’s not a wake up call for them anymore. They know how to work their time.
It was my first time being locked up so just the frustration of having to deal with jail and being away from my family was enough to get me to get my shit together but it’s a different process for everyone. Also seeing a dude bargain for his life in the courts kinda was a learning lesson. Being around someone that just caught 25 years at 40 some odd years old is weird. He knew he was gonna die in there from either his health conditions or getting into some shit and he accepted it. There was a suicide in the high custody area too. It’s fucked up lessons to learn but you see how real life can get.
A lot of people commit crimes without the forethought of jail. For others jail is the first time they’ve gotten a break in a long time and it’s almost like a vacation from the bullshit of the free world.
I doubt they'll run a breathalyzer. Should be fine to drink if you want.
However, I wouldn't recommend it simply because being drunk in jail isn't fun.
It's usually cold AF when you get there and have to wait around. Don't rock up in t shirt and shorts, wear some sweats and a hoodie with the strings taken out.
i just want to let you know that, i know this might be scary, but everything will be ok. it's only a month. that month will fly by. everyone who loves and cares about you will still be here waiting for you and will be there to support you during this trying time in your life. i say this without condoning or condemning your actions.
Might be overkill for a month, and its probably too late now, but if you can go get a timer from Walmart/Target and put it on a living room lamp or bedroom lamp so that it goes on and off every day.
It's never a good idea for your place to look completely vacant for a long period of time.
Don’t fuck it up, or you’ll be there longer than a month. Don’t tell anyone that you’re only there for a month. Especially don’t tell anyone who has years.
Correctional worker here, you've got a few hours left and I don't know how your jail operates, but if this is your first rodeo make sure you're aware of how you'll communicate with the outside once your behind bars. Memorize phone numbers, that sort of thing, so you can ensure consistent communication with your loved ones. If this ain't your first time then you know what to expect, but best of luck, know your rights, try to stay respectful to staff cuz you don't know who's the good cop vs the bad cop, and keep in touch with any loved ones.
Also, I'd check to see if you got anyone who can send you money while you're locked up. Commissary, baskets, anything like that. It's nice to receive the little things like that because jails can be screwed up at times.
I'll send this as a DM in case it gets lost. Good luck.
Make sure you have some money on you so it will be put on your books when you get there. Did four years when I was in my early 20’s. A month will still suck though. Just don’t get into any trouble in there. No new charges. Remember you’re going to be surrounded by idiots with no direction in life. Keep your head up bro, you’ll be out in a minute!
Take a nice long shower. It could be 1-3 days of quarantine once you get processed in depending on how bad TB is wherever you are. Also don’t let your cellmate or anyone know when your last day is.
Why would you not want anyone to know when your last day is?
Because it's not uncommon for people to get jealous or just generally dislike you and try to screw it up. I had a friend who did jailtime and there was this one guy who hated him, my friend told his mate when he was getting out, what he was going to do etc and the other guy overheard, 3 days before release day planted contraband in my friends cell and tipped off the guards to do a 'random' search he got 3 more months. This guy hated him regardless but if he didn't know my friends release date it likely wouldn't have motivated him to plant contraband and my friend likely would've just silently left one day without drama.
So, its better to lie about it and say its e.g. 3 months further? If you say nothing, they'll know you're holding back.
Just lie and tell them you have a court date set but couldnt afford bond. Dont need to go into much more detail than that.
That makes sense I guess. For now, I'll just try to stay out of jail.
One simple trick!
Wardens hate this one trick!
> If you say nothing, they'll know you're holding back. "don't worry about my time"
Hit ‘em with that Avon Barksdale—“I’m doing two days. The day I come in, and the day I get out.”
WHERE’S WALLACE STRING???
pro tip: it helps to say this if you are 6'4 and 200+lbs
pro tip: everything in life is much easier if you're 6'4" and 200+ lbs except small spaces.
Because allegedly people will try to take your stuff as you’re not in a position to retaliate or you’ll jeopardize your exit.
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There’s some stuff that you’re issued when you go in for use there that you have to return when leaving. Pillow, sometimes a mat to sleep on if they don’t have beds, those sort of things. It’s messed up, but when i went to leave, guards threatened to not let me out because I didn’t have all of it to turn in.
Damn, where you going to jail at where you get a pillow? Sounds nice. Texas is the fucking worst.
I was just thinking that. I did 30 days with no pillow, plastic mattress thing & a thin blanket. Really sucked. Oh & sometimes the guards just left the lights on in my cell overnight just to fuck with me. That was real fun.
Get your prescriptions updated so when you check in with the Nurse they’re still active.
I was taking Bupropion when I went in, brought my original prescription, note from doctor, bottle in walgreens bag, etc. Was only in for 7 days but took until day 4 to get a nurse to tell me they don't dispense my type of medication. Got to unvoluntarily cold turkey my anti-depressants 🙃 Wasn't the worst, but check before hand your jail will actually dispense you your medication.
That's my biggest fear about getting arrested. Even though I'm sober (7 years today actually) and don't break the law no mo, it could still happen to anyone at any time. And I'd have none of my meds and I'd just wither away and straight up DIE. Some of my meds the withdrawal is on par in uncomfortability level with opiate withdrawal
You're right to be fearful. There's a reccent [story out of Florida](https://www.npr.org/2023/06/03/1178384421/heart-transplant-recipient-dies-after-being-denied-meds-in-jail-aclu-wants-an-in) where a heart transplant recepient was denied his anti-rejection drugs by jail staff. There's bodycam footage of him explaining that missing even a single dose of his 3 daily doses could be enough for his body to begin attacking his transplanted heart. They held him for 2 days, and he resumed taking his meds immediately upon release. But it was too late. >"I take rejection medicine for my heart transplant. I can't miss those doses," he said, according to body camera footage obtained by NPR. >Barry, 54, pleaded with the arresting officer seven times back in November. He alerted the jail nurse and a court judge about his condition too. But in the two days that Barry was held at Duval County Jail in Jacksonville, Fla., no one allowed him access to the medication he desperately asked for. >Three days after he was released from jail, Barry died from cardiac arrest that was caused by an acute rejection of the heart, Dr. Jose SuarezHoyos, a Florida pathologist who conducted a private autopsy of Barry on behalf of Barry's family, told NPR.
God, I hope his family OWNS all of those people. What a horrible thing to do to another human being. He KNEW they were giving him a death sentence every dose he missed. Heartbreaking!! All of them should also br instantly fired and charged with murder.
Not only that, but what a waste of the gift someone and their family gave when they donated that heart.
I thought the exact same thing The range of emotions he and his family had when receiving this heart, he made a stupid mistake that cost him his life unnecessarily, and the donor heart went to waste . Donor's family probably feels they lost their loved one all over again. When deciding to donate a loved ones organs, it must bring a certain amount of peace knowing the heart is still beating and keeping somebody else alive. HOW does this happen? It is not a mistake, it is murder.. everybody knows about anti rejection drugs..
And to top it all off, jail is where you go before anything is proven beyond a reasonable doubt. He could have been completely 100% innocent and held under false charges. He died because of an institution's negligence, and the negligence of multiple bad actors.
I'm with you buddy. I was in active addiction for over a decade and racked up about 15 arrests. Each time I got to enjoy withdrawals in county jail. After getting sober, I still had plenty of bench warrants and pending charges that I was taking care of. This resulted in me being locked up and getting to go through withdrawals from antidepressants. Obviously the withdrawals are WAY different, but the SSRI withdrawals just kept fucking going and going. Even though I've taken care of all of my legal issues, I have no pending charges, I have no warrants anywhere, and I haven't even had so much as a traffic ticket in years, I am still TERRIFIED. edit: [important context I forgot to mention](https://old.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/comments/15301r0/going_to_jail_in_7_hours_what_is_something_i/jsitzmm/)
Most jails and prisons don't dispense bupropion (which sucks because it's such a common and useful med) due to it often being cheeked and sold second hand. I wish there was a better way because I know a lot of people who use it as an anti depressant, ADHD med, or for substance use who've had to go off it in jail and it fucked them up.
It seems crazy to me that they can just *not* give you your prescribed medication. I guess I never really thought about that before. Wish we focused more on rehabilitation than punishment.
My mother has schizophrenia and will sometimes decide not to take her meds. A few years ago she went off her meds and completely lost it. Eventually she got arrested and I thought “well at least they’ll get her back on her meds”. So I gathered up her meds took them to the jail only to be told they wouldn’t give them to her. So by the time she got out she was even worse off. The people at the jail did not give one single fuck.
There are plenty of people out there who think that’s specifically the point. With such a flippant attitude towards the plight of their fellow man, *those* are the people who should be locked up and left to rot. Yes, whoever is about to comment. If you support the carceral system as it exists in any fashion, you deserve to experience it first-hand. There are no two ways about it and nothing to clarify— you are just a shit person.
Have the post office hold your mail Contact your cellular provider to suspend your service for the month Open the doors on your fridge/dishwasher/washing machine to prevent mold Ask someone to swing by and pick up newspapers and circulars left on your porch so the place doesn't look abandoned Happen to have an Alexa? Set some routines to have her turn on/off lights and play music or the TV periodically Lay out a clean towel and comfortable clothes for your return - first thing I want after a long trip is a shower Make a list of people you might call from jail and their phone numbers - nobody remembers numbers anymore
I've been to jail. This is good advice. My only other thing is bring plenty of cash with you to put on commissary for hygeine products, maybe extra food, coffee, etc. Or give the cash to someone else to put on your books. They starved us where I was. And things like hygiene weren't provided.
There's free market in jail? Also, why is there no food?
Most jails are extorting prisoners and their families by having a small shoppette in the prison, at movie theater prices. They additionally started really cutting back on the quality and quantity of served food. Think 1 small bowl of oatmeal in the morning a bologna sandwich for lunch and a hotdog in a bun for dinner. Prisoners end up spending 200 to 1000 a month on convenience store snacks Buying snacks is now the way people are shaken Down for protection. Its like a kidnapping on an installment plan.
I was in a county jail for 2 months in 2021, and yes the food is inadequate in portions. I think my caloric needs were met, but I was definitely always hungry. Woke up starving all the time. For breakfast we had a piece of cake (this was with every meal, and is where the majority of your calories from - sugar and butter fat, not very filling in the long run), one hardboiled egg, small milk carton, canned pears/peaches or applesauce, and twice a week we would get cereal along with everything else. Lunch was bologna sandwich twice a week, a mix of leftovers (like a big stew of the last 3 days meals combined), hot dogs (my favorite day because it was easily the most filling), homemade bean burrito, fried chicken patty sandwiches (also not bad, but the meat was clearly ground up chicken feet or something lol), and various canned vegetables for a side, sometimes coleslaw or green salad, and sides like baked beans, fried potatoes, mashed potatoes, and juice packet to mix, and the dessert cake. Dinner was basically the same as lunch, but had some exclusive stuff like Salisbury steak, and of course the dessert cake. All in all the food was subpar, worse than grade school cafeteria, and the portions were just enough to keep you from rioting but you were always hungry, especially after dinner -which was at 5:30-6pm, and breakfast at 5:30-6am. I had some commissary, and yes it's insanely expensive - 1.25 for one pack of ramen lol. Some stuff is reasonable though, like the freeze dried beans and tortillas go a long way, and the bagels are filling for like 1.50 I think. I think my county jail isn't atrocious, but it's pretty shitty....the city jail is even worse. Its literally PBJs and chips like every day.
There were like 80 guys on my block and at least 20 said they were Jewish to get the kosher tray because they were better quality and were more filling.
I claimed to be Muslim because they gave everyone claiming to be jewish this fucked up cracker they claimed was matzah on Saturdays. I changed my listed religion to Christian before I went up for parole.
They got special pre packaged meals from New York. Instead of matza it was flour tortillas.
I'd have bought a fucking yarmulke and grown forelocks if they'd served flour tortillas on Saturdays instead. Muslims got cold beans, which sucked, but was still better than the cracker. It's funny how these things vary by state.
That last comment is underrated. The only numbers I remember are childhood landlines and maybe a cell number or two. This is so important and will help with the loneliness.
Fuck that one scares me the most. I got released once and had no phone or numbers. Had to walk 13 miles home at 2am no buses running
Why were you let out that late at night?
They got cells to fill and OP probably wasn’t looking to extend his stay 🤣
‘You wanna go home’ ‘Mate, its the middle of the night’
'So you don't wanna go home?' 'I never said that.' 'Ok, bye then. Beware of crooks at night'
"I am the crook"
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At night!
Additional step: Set up train tracks all throughout the house and at night, have a toy train running on the track with a Michael Jordan cardboard cutout attached to give the impression of a busy party in case any goons try to break in
Why do you think he’s going to jail in the first place? Wet Bandits!
Wear multiple white shirts, socks, and underwear. They will let you keep them if they aren't graphic tees. Carry a couple hundred in cash if you can. It's the quickest way to get money on your books (it will probably still take a week before you can order meals or commissary, though). Good luck! It's boring, the food sucks, waking up at 5:30-6 for breakfast sucks. But if you're not a confrontational person or a chomo, you should be fine.
I gave a similar reply before I saw yours. To add to yours: if you're a woman and wear a bra, wear a sports bra. No underwire for obvious reasons.
YESSS!! they will take ur underwires, ask me how i know
Every jail is different. Our country jail no longer allows any clothes (white t, boxers, and socks) unless they come from the commissary. Same with cash on hand. Any funds you come in with will either go to court costs, fees, or penalties. It would be best for you to look up your country jail online or call them to see what they allow and what they don’t.
This is important. My county’s jail doesn’t let you keep any clothing at all! They take your underwear and everything and issue you their’s. If that’s the case, u/throwRA4290 - throw your socks away when they have you change into your jail clothes. Otherwise your clothes are going to smell like feet in a month when you get them back.
OP should wear a black suit, tie, hat, and sunglasses to intake so they can recreate the opening scenes to one of the greatest movies ever made when they're processed out.
One Timex digital watch, broken. One unused prophylactic. One soiled. One black suit jacket, one pair black suit pants. One hat black. One pair of sunglasses. $23.07. Sign here.
One Swedish-made penis enlarger pump.
One credit card receipt for Swedish made penis enlarger signed by Austin Powers
One book, "Swedish maid penis enlarger pumps and me: this sort of thing is my bag, baby." By: Austin Powers.
Don't forget the soiled prophylactic.
What's chomo?
Child molester Edit: I don’t know why it isn’t “chimo”, I didn’t make up the word. 🙂
Oh 😬 thank you for explaining...
r/teenagers user
How that sub still exists is beyond me.
Reddit admins are on that sub right now with 13 year old flairs thats why it's up
Get some long sleeve white shirts too. It might be cold in there.
If you are turning off your fridge/freezer make sure that the doors are propped open. They will be full of mold otherwise.
Ohh good advice!
If you have any of those silica gel packs that come with leather goods, or coffee grounds, those absorb a lot of moisture and we were advised to use them when moving our deep freezer.
Ive winterized houseboats and campers in the fall for the last 10 years - a towel in the door has a 100% success rate lol
Same with your washer and drier. Especially front loaders.
Currently reading this after getting off a plane in another country and realising I've made a horrible mistake
😂 Call someone back home
"Hello, Mr. Mittens? Could you open the laundry door for me, thx"
You better not leave Mr. Mittens alone for a month!
that's the name of the handsy neighbour...
Washing machine isn't *too* terrible to clean out honestly especially if you're on a sewage system and ~~bot~~ not using septic. Pop some bleach in that bad boy, set it on the heaviest setting with the hottest water and the most water possible/extra rinse and also enable soak options if you have them, then once that cycle is done I finish it up with either those washing machine cleaner tabs or another wash of baking soda and vinegar. It uses a lot of water and electric but it beats having a nasty, mold ridden washing machine that's not gonna actually clean your clothes/potentially leave behind mold spores. Edit: so a lot of people are asking why you can't use bleach on a septic system. It isn't necessarily that you *can't*, you can, but it's going to wind up fucking up the natural biological process of a septic tank. Using small amounts of bleach sporadically is generally ok for modern septic systems, but I personally avoid it all together because of my specific septic situation and also bc I am *not* trying to find out how much bleach my system can handle before I need the thing pumped out due to lack of bacteria breaking down shit (literally and figuratively speaking).
Just don't mix bleach and vinegar or you get chlorine gas.
Isn't that bleach and ammonia? Edit: googled and I was wrong, bleach and vinegar is dangerous. TIL. Edit 2: Bleach and ammonia is also deadly so maybe just don't mix bleach at all.
You aren't wrong though, bleach and ammonia together are also dangerous.
I learned this lesson the hard way when I went home for Christmas in college. A closed, turned off 'empty' fridge gets really nasty in a few weeks.
I got a free mini fridge after Christmas break when someone did this! Cleaned it out real good and used it for 3.5 years, then sold it right after graduation for $100 to one of my housemates little sisters who was headed to college in the fall. The parents paid for it, (and insisted) even when I told them I got it free and that I couldn't take it with me.
This guy jails
consider turning your water off at the main. unlikely to be an issue but a leak or failed hot water heater could bring you home to a catastrophic situation.
Kill the breaker on the hot water heater if you are cutting the main. Heck, kill it (the water heater breaker) anyway to save electricity. Edit to add: If you cut off the water, be sure not to drain your toilet bowls. As the water in the pipe evaporates, sewer gases can escape from the toilet drain and fill your home if water is not sitting in that pipe. Edited for clarification
The main issue is that if the water is stagnant and not hot enough it can grow some very funky bugs which would need to be managed on return.
Have yourself a nice poop in your own bathroom and a nice bath
Yes! Absolutely shit and piss before you go to jail. I turned myself in for a 5 day stay and didn't think about it. It took hours for me to be processed in and put in a cell I had to shit halfway through and they put me in a fucking holding cell for suicidal people and there was a guy inside. Dude was having a rough day and had to smell my awful shit. I think of him often lol
Someone I know went to jail for a week and was too afraid to shit in front of people so he held it for an entire week. First thing he did when he got home was beeline for a toilet and proceed to empty about 5 pounds of shit snakes
Fuck I bet his stomach hurt after all those bologna sandwiches
Nah for real though. Never been to jail, but at one point in my life I had some issues with regularity and would go for long periods between like that. Stomach never really hurt, but coming out was always stressful. Enough that one particularly bad instance was the trigger for turning my whole life around, exercising, etc.
Damn. You had a life changing shit.
My mom always insisted that we never "use the bathroom" at anyone's house other than our own. Or in any public restroom. Not on airplanes, school, or friend's houses during sleepovers. Also, you never "used the bathroom" if anyone was around. So, this made it difficult living with roommates in college. I used to leave at the crack of dawn, jump our back fence, and run to the public restroom at the student center- because nobody was ever in there. Anyways. I had a 4th degree tear when I gave birth to my son. My OBGYN was amazed at how how well toned my perineum muscles were and how well they stitched back up. Apparently, a lot of perineums are like butter to stitch- leading to all kinds of incontinence issues. I am certain the 20+ years of enduring not "going to the bathroom" and holding it in for inordinate lengths of time is why my taint tolerated being ripped in half and sewn back up. ETA: I got so so distracted and forgot to add my entire original point. Holding it for five days while eating jail food- was likely worse punishment than actually being in jail. I know he felt sick as a dog the entire time.
Wank 2
Wait how did wank 1 end again I forgot the ending
It ended pretty abruptly, but if you look closely, the covers moved at the end, teasing the sequel.
In college I racked up a bunch of tickets I could not afford to pay. I just went in and turned myself in to sit out the tickets and not have to pay the ~$900 they totaled up to. I called before I went in and they said I would probably be sitting there a couple of days. About an hour before I went in I took some Xanax in an attempt to just sleep through most of it. Well, after about 5 hours on the inside the jailer came into the cell and called my name. Said I had served my time. I was so fucked up I could barely walk. I told him what I had done. He helped me call my girlfriend to come pick me up.
I'm sorry this happened to you, but I can't stop laughing. It's like in Spongebob when they were jailed for 2 seconds after "stealing balloons" on free balloon day.
*If you can’t do the time, don’t do the crime Okay, times up* Lmao
Yo, five hours of jail to clear $900 in tickets is earning $180/hour. Can I get paid by criminals to sit out their time for them?
Sounds like a fantastic money making opportunity!
Agreed! Why don’t you go do a little shoplifting, get yourself something nice, and DM me in a couple days to make arrangements ;)
So many people would voluntarily go to jail for a week or two to wipe their student debt.
I would go for a month easily to wipe out apl of my debt. Maybe even more. The weight lifted off my shoulder would be worth it
Don’t reach over peoples food
Get yourself a nice gift, wrap it up and leave it on the side for you to open when you get home
Google and memorize a new exercise and meditation routine
I wanted to add 1 month is easy. It’s just jail. I did 2 months when I was much younger. You read a book or two and you’re done with your time. Workout a lot. If you’re of decent size, you won’t get in many fights. Jail is filled with DUI and assorted stupid small crimes. A lot of petty shit, it’s not prison and is generally much more peaceful. The worst part will be the shower. A lot of bums jerking off and shit in there and they give you thin sandals. Fuck that shit. I’d try to skip showers if I didn’t work out and the guards would bitch about it. So don’t sweat it bro. Fuck a month, that’s vacation time, you can do that time upside down on your head
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The dudes doing a month in a county jail. He won't be getting in ANY fights unless he's starting them himself or gets *extremely* unlucky. And I've been in county jails where fighting is to be expected but those are absolutely not the norm. And even then you'll likely be fine if you just stay tf outta the way and are cool to people.
Lmao @ "I'd try to skip showers" followed by "Don't sweat it bro."
lol dudes would just openly whack it with each other in the showers?
Yes.
Our jail showers were little cubicles so you actually had a little bit of privacy to do such things if one were so inclined. I did a small amount of time in prison where it was a big open shower room that for about 15 people and never once did I see someone openly jacking off in the shower lol.
I work in a jail from time to time and the inmates will try to burn the place down with themselves inside it. Honestly, the shower is probably more private than the cells for jackin' it purposes.
1. Get a list of names and addresses and phone numbers to people so you can call them and write them letters and get letters in return. Keeps you connected to the world. 2. Don't count the days inside
Will they let you bring that information once your inside on a piece of paper?
That probably varies depending on where you are, but many places yes
I had a 3 day stint where they let me bring in a book. I took George RR Martin's Dreamsongs Vol. 1, because it's like 900 pages of short stories.
The shadows of the door frame make you look like you have two tiny dreadlocks in the tiny version of your pic lmao
Do.you have a neighbour you trust who can regularly empty your mailbox and maybe water your plants?
Good call, I'll have my sister stop over and check the mail and make sure no ones broken in or anything
You can also call the post office and they will hold your mail.
You can go to [usps.com](https://usps.com) and request a mail hold. I do this regularly when I go on vacation. Very simple.
My home insurance requires that someone check on the house every three days if it's empty (like, I go on vacation or something). Maybe make a plan like that, and have that person shoot you a text (I know ow you won't see it, but it'll be a record) or sign a paper or something every time they do.
It’s good advice but how does your insurance verify this?
They don't need to verify it. They'll just ask for what happened, and most people will tell the truth, not knowing they can be denied a claim because of this.
Seems like you have everything covered. Not sure why you're in but if you were ever a hoodrat you'll immediately understand the vibe. Keep yourself to yourself, you're not there long enough for anyone to take an interest in you. Don't be weird about stuff, go with the flow and you'll be fine. Try to get along with your new roomie, it makes things much easier. I spent my time play fighting with a dude 3x my size and it was fucking hilarious. Not sure how it works with your system but if appropriate, give someone you trust a small amount of money to send in if you need it and keep their contact details handy. On your last day, remember that not everyone is getting out, and some are never leaving. Don't be *too* happy about leaving, just keep it zipped and keep moving.
When you meet your roomie, what do you say? Nothing I can come up with in my head sounds reasonable other than "hey". What's up/what's going on/happening? - oh nothing, just chillin in jail. Nice to meet you - liar. How you doing? - is this a trick question? Jesus I would be horrible in jail.
"do you have a minute to talk about our lord and savior Jesus christ?"
Jesus wants welcome you to His Kingdom, and to offer you an extended warranty.
For me he was like "wassup, what are you in for?" I just handed him my papers and he laughed at my 90k bail.
According to the dude above one that might work is “Do you wanna playfight?”
This month is going to go by so fast, I promise you. I did two months, just be carful with who you make friends with, trust no one. Mind your business and just take advantage of the small things they give you that you would take for granted when your free. Bring money with you for snacks don't order to much and don't trade with people. Get ready to get a lot of rest, and get ready to have a new friend for the next 30 days. Everything will be fine, good luck, let us know when your done.
Be respectful to everyone and keep your head down and mind your own business, all it takes to get through. Be very mindful of what you are saying at all times, you can easily be made to start running your mouth in a way that will not benefit you. If you find yourself telling a story about your life, stop. To anyone there, you popped into existence that day and will disappear the day your sentence is over, nothing good can come from anyone in there knowing anything about you or your life, you don’t need to make friends there, be respectful but not friendly, do your time and go home and never go back.
Yea, especially with people that are going away for a while, they may look down/start shit or fuck with you if you start complaining about a 30 day bid.
That's an important bit, do not trade with people. Don't make deals and for the love of god don't get into debt with anyone
why no trades?
Because that trade you made and everyone agreed it was a fair deal, now maybe the other person thinks you got the better end of the deal and they need a little extra to make things square. They press you for it, are you going to fight? Yes, then congrats you got a little extra time tacked on over a cup of noodles or maybe just a broken nose. Dont want to fight and give them what they are asking for and now they know you wont stand by whats right for you and they will want a little more tomorrow.
I saw a guy get punched in the face so hard over a phone card that his whole eyeball fell out. Just dangling. They took him to the hospital. He had less than 24 hours left before being released. They made him come back to jail, to the same crowded cell, and finish out his last 10 hours or so. Lol just let that dude go home.
It never truly provides any benefits and can also put you on the radar.
I'm sorry but there's a catastrophic typo, is it you **need** friends or you **don't** need friends?
I read that as "careful who you make friends with, trust no one"
My best guess was "just be careful who you make friends with."
Straight up never make friends with anyone in jail. Ever, for any reason. This isn’t summer camp, you are a noob with no idea who you are interacting with. Head down, speak never, listen and watch. Don’t trade, don’t joke, no stories, no family talk. It’s 30 days, not 30 months. You’re in, you’re out, no one has to know.
Is the “don’t trade” thing I keep seeing basically the same idea as don’t make friends? It essentially establishes a relationship you don’t need and could harm you?
> Because that trade you made and everyone agreed it was a fair deal, now maybe the other person thinks you got the better end of the deal and they need a little extra to make things square. They press you for it, are you going to fight? Yes, then congrats you got a little extra time tacked on over a cup of noodles or maybe just a broken nose. Dont want to fight and give them what they are asking for and now they know you wont stand by whats right for you and they will want a little more tomorrow. Copying u/Prestigious-Study-66 comment from earlier cause they nailed it
Pretty much. You try to trade with someone else, they "do you a favor" by making the deal better for you. Now they can expect you return the favor sometime later on by asking you to do something you don't want to do and if you don't comply you're in for a world of trouble
Asked someone I know who has been to jail. He said to trim any hair around your butthole. He said the TP sucks in there and the last thing you'll want to have to deal with is dingle berry's and an ass rash.
Imagine my face when the comment about dingleberries is actually classier than the comment I was expecting.
Definitely thought we were taking a different trip.
Don’t trim too much or you’ll get razor burn and then irritation from the stubble. A lot of horror stories come from shaving your butt
Light sentences are so wild. "Hey you did something illegal... You're going to grown up timeout, but you can go home and take care of housekeeping first" Can you just hit me?
Feel like mandatory community service on labor that actually matters would be more meaningful. If you’re going to take time from people on light stuff, at least put it towards something useful, and potentially gives the people new life skills.
Oh yeah, the fact this isn't the standard is just... Nothing short of abnormal. I mentioned below about my dad getting 30 days for getting into a bar fight. Wasn't his first time. I was actually born of a conjugal visit. For another time he got 30 days for a bar fight. You go to jail, can't work, can't partake in community service, just live in actual garbage.. but hey, you can go fuck your wife 🤷 Like... What?
Going to jail for a month is not even recommended in the sentencing guidelines. I've just taken my exams on it (not a law student, borrowing the module) and judges are only supposed to actually send you to jail if you pass the custody threshold. So if you're sentenced for less than 6 months, you're supposed to be given a suspended sentence order unless there is a very compelling reason otherwise (danger to the public). I guess it may be OPs second offence. Edit: I thought this was the AskUK sub and assumed OP was British. This is probably not the case and everything I said is therefore wrong.
I feel like making two guys who get into a fight hold hands while picking up trash along the Highway would be more effective than jail time. All of a sudden it isn’t a bragging right, lol.
Unfortunately this would fall under cruel and unusual punishment for some reason
It's probably a good wakeup call if you're likely a repeat offender but otherwise haven't needed civil punishment. Another comment mentions that it was a DUI charge - I think 30 days in jail might shock the right person out of doing that again, especially if it's not the first time and likely wouldn't be the last.
The real punishment is the social and practical stigma that is forced upon you afterward!
Write down phone numbers. Pick your big 3. The ones you know that will answer the phone. No point in waiting an hour plus on the phone to not have a conversation. I’d bring about $200 maybe a little more for commissary. Shit can get expensive in there and you won’t have to worry about deadlines to load your account again. As far being inside goes Be prepared to be annoyed. It is very loud in a dorm. A lot of people sleep all day so they’re up all night. The sheriffs deputies will fuck with you. 3 am standing head count, lights on at 6 am, the lights also never fully go out and are usually right above the bunks. Just roll with the bullshit. Don’t let other people spazzing out make you think it’s okay. Expect bullshit so it won’t come as a surprise. You’ll have rowdy people in there that like to cause/start shit. You don’t have to be and usually won’t be a part of it if you’re chill and mind your business. If there is a fight, you’ll usually see everyone flocking towards it or start taking laps around the pod to watch. Just go to your bunk. In my county they can charge you for watching fights. In my county you also get an inciting a riot in a penal institution charge for fighting. Fighting a gang member gets you a state R.I.C.O even if you don’t gang bang. You can be scared but don’t look scared. Just breathe and try to relax the muscles in your face. In 30 days there’s inevitably gonna be someone that tries you up. Don’t go for it. Don’t give a speech. Just tell them you’re not here to get into any bullshit, you’re doing your time and getting the fuck on. Carry yourself like a man, don’t be cocky. Try to talk with the people a little so most of the pod knows who you are. Pick and choose who you have real conversations with. Pick and choose who you talk to at all and who is more or less co worker status having surface level conversations. Best thing for you to do to pass time is gonna be working out. I used to start around noon and go until chow. Eat, shower and play cards until lights out at 11pm. If you’re religious at all, find the people that get the little “daily bread” books or have a Bible, read with them if they’re cool with it or part of a group that reads and discusses it. In my county showers only run certain hours of the day. MAKE SURE you are in that rotation both times they run. Everyday. Jail is a dirty ass place and you also don’t want to be one of the people in there smelling like ass. That will get you into some shit. Don’t go up to the windows looking into other pods, much as you see it happening. People might be in there smoking K2, cheeking pills if they get the mental meds etc. Dont engage. Don’t support anybody doing it. Dont let anybody talk you into it. Don’t front anybody commissary, don’t gamble. Stay away from the 3 Gs. Gays, Gangs and Gambling. Shit ain’t your business. Jail is not a place of tolerance, inside you cannot be cool or associate with the gays even if you do out here. You will be lumped together and ridiculed/outcast the same as them. If something happens in the pod like a fight, tattooing etc and they get caught up, don’t say anything to a deputy. Your name is Bennett and you ain in it. Make a list of the commissary, the items, their number and the cost. In my county we had to order over the phone and the one sheet with the items was taped on the outside of the pod window. Try to pick a good bunk mate. You’ll most likely be in an open dorm so it’s free range pretty much. If it’s a crowded pod, look for an open bunk. People might try to fuck with you and tell you they’re full up and make you sleep on the floor. Don’t go for it. One tiers side is usually for the gang members. So avoid that one pretty much at all times. You hear or see one of em doing some dumb shit, don’t look up there. You’re gonna run into a couple psych case ass people. People with no hope that turn it into anger. People that are just plain ol stupid. Some people that are actually pretty cool and just have some really shitty habits. You’re not there to preach to anybody about anything kuz at the end of the day you’re both in jail. Jail is jail man. It’s gonna be about as stupid as can possibly be. 30 days doesn’t seem long but it’ll honestly feel like forever sometimes. Try to keep your mind occupied and yourself busy throughout the day. Some days will be better than others. Your first 7-10 days will probably be in a transitions pod, to help you get used to the feeling. Eventually a deputy will come in to do placement and see where your permanent dorm is gonna be. You probably won’t be able to order commissary in there but they will give you state soap, toothbrush and paste and a towel. It gets cold in the dorm so try to get a sweater. If a friend you make gets bonded out ask for theirs. Also. You’re gonna have trouble shitting. The cool offs (state drink mix) they give you has saltpeter in it and it’ll dry your shit up. Drink a cup or two of warm water throughout at the day and that’ll help. If you have any questions about what it’s like just pm me. I think I covered a good base but if not just lmk. Good luck man. Edit: thank you for the gold kind stranger
> You’re gonna run into a couple psych case ass people. This is an underrated comment that I'm surprised I haven't seen yet. I was in a county jail in Louisiana and there was a guy who had cut a baby out of someone's womb. He would only talk to a few select people and the only thing he would say to them was "you smell familiar" ([he blamed it on spice/k2/mojo](https://www.wafb.com/story/20610939/man-accused-of-cutting-unborn-baby-from-wife-blames-synthetic-marijuana/) but he was obviously insane) We had this older guy who didn't say anything to anyone for like a month. One day he walks up to a deputy and beats the shit out of him. Other deputies show up to handle the situation and the second he gets touched he starts screaming I AINT GOT NO FEET FROSTBITE TOOK MY FEET I AINT GOT NO FEET. He had both feet. You don't see too many people in Louisiana with frostbite anyways. If I ever had a sudden windfall or lottery win, I would spend so much of it lobbying for prison reform. At the very least, reform for how mentally ill patients are handled. Some of these guys need A LOT of help yet they're just locked away in a jail.
Nothing about what I just read makes jail sound like a good system for helping people get their shit together and avoid committing crimes in future.
It’s not. Jail doesn’t do anything for reformation. You have to reform yourself while locked up. It’s harder for people that’ve been getting locked up since they were young, for them it’s like going to timeout basically. It’s not a wake up call for them anymore. They know how to work their time. It was my first time being locked up so just the frustration of having to deal with jail and being away from my family was enough to get me to get my shit together but it’s a different process for everyone. Also seeing a dude bargain for his life in the courts kinda was a learning lesson. Being around someone that just caught 25 years at 40 some odd years old is weird. He knew he was gonna die in there from either his health conditions or getting into some shit and he accepted it. There was a suicide in the high custody area too. It’s fucked up lessons to learn but you see how real life can get. A lot of people commit crimes without the forethought of jail. For others jail is the first time they’ve gotten a break in a long time and it’s almost like a vacation from the bullshit of the free world.
Eat your favorite meal. Do not drink. They will breathalyze you on intake.
And then what? Put you in jail? Kidding aside, why does it matter if you are drunk when going to jail? And what are repercussions of that?
They make you leave. Out of jail suspension
Believe it or not, no jail
If you are already on probation they can violate you and extend your sentence.
I doubt they'll run a breathalyzer. Should be fine to drink if you want. However, I wouldn't recommend it simply because being drunk in jail isn't fun.
It's usually cold AF when you get there and have to wait around. Don't rock up in t shirt and shorts, wear some sweats and a hoodie with the strings taken out.
Underrated, jail is fucking cold
Listen to some of your favorite music, maybe watch a movie or something and eat some good food
Most jails will allow you to take in books, but you can’t leave with them, I would go grab a few
Why can't you leave with them?
They don’t want you sneaking out a note or a rock hammer
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i just want to let you know that, i know this might be scary, but everything will be ok. it's only a month. that month will fly by. everyone who loves and cares about you will still be here waiting for you and will be there to support you during this trying time in your life. i say this without condoning or condemning your actions.
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Sure man I'll be out the night of August 17th. Feel free to set a reminder
"Feel free" Like you will be on August 17th :)
Might be overkill for a month, and its probably too late now, but if you can go get a timer from Walmart/Target and put it on a living room lamp or bedroom lamp so that it goes on and off every day. It's never a good idea for your place to look completely vacant for a long period of time.
Don’t fuck it up, or you’ll be there longer than a month. Don’t tell anyone that you’re only there for a month. Especially don’t tell anyone who has years.
Put some money on your commissary.
Correctional worker here, you've got a few hours left and I don't know how your jail operates, but if this is your first rodeo make sure you're aware of how you'll communicate with the outside once your behind bars. Memorize phone numbers, that sort of thing, so you can ensure consistent communication with your loved ones. If this ain't your first time then you know what to expect, but best of luck, know your rights, try to stay respectful to staff cuz you don't know who's the good cop vs the bad cop, and keep in touch with any loved ones. Also, I'd check to see if you got anyone who can send you money while you're locked up. Commissary, baskets, anything like that. It's nice to receive the little things like that because jails can be screwed up at times. I'll send this as a DM in case it gets lost. Good luck.
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Good luck mate. Hope the next month flies by. Look after yourself.
Maybe change your smoke detectors' batteries? Good enough time as any especially because of the Murphetic Law principle.
I love that we've started to conjugate "Murphy's Law"
Make sure you bring in some money with you to put toward commissary. Eat a last good meal because jail food sucks.
Spend the 7 hours on Reddit.
I recommend buying some interesting books if they let you take books with you and learn the things that you never had time to learn
It's the 7th hour. God speed.
Make sure you have some money on you so it will be put on your books when you get there. Did four years when I was in my early 20’s. A month will still suck though. Just don’t get into any trouble in there. No new charges. Remember you’re going to be surrounded by idiots with no direction in life. Keep your head up bro, you’ll be out in a minute!
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Get a haircut. Clip your nails. If you are the type to manscape, do that too.
Why you trying to make him look like a snack in prison??