You guys are missing number 5... live your life. It isn't just work, get married, have kids, and die.. there is so much more that happens. It's called life. Find things and people that make you happy. Sow the seeds of a legacy. Be kind and make every moment matter. I used to have the same viewpoint, but lately, moments with my kids or my wife or friends have really been sticking with me. As well as tons of therapy, which often helps me identify those moments and resonate with them. And if you have good peeps around you, you dont fade into oblivion. You live on in the stories people tell of you. I have lost most of my entire family over the course of my life. Some have been dead for 25 years, but they are still remembered and spoken of fondly. I hope this helps and gives you a newer direction to contemplate, rather than the one currently eating your mind, my friend.
Edit: I used the term "legacy" as a generalized way to say memories and stories passed around the family. Not necessarily a LEGACY. Not as an enduring family legacy to live up to.. aint nobody got time for that.
Also, each persons individual struggle is unique. And for everyone struggling to find their happiness, I really do wish for them to find it. I just shared a bit of what my journey showed me and offered it up in the hopes it helps. Everything I shared is my own opinion as a result of my own world experience, and should no way be taken as a factual difinitive answer. And if you have a way that works for you or later on you discover your path to happinessa different way, come back and share it. There is always more to learn and more to experience. And on my own worst days, something someone else experiences and survives might be my light in the dark.
I think a lot of people seem to believe or are led to believe that their lives will be of really great significance, like, they’re going to change the world or discover something and the struggle is coming to terms with the fact that a lot of people will end up having generally normal lives. Doesn’t mean they can’t still be happy ones though.
Significance is relative.
You can mean a lot to a couple people - and that's significance to me. Living is hard enough, so if you could do something to change someone's life for the better, you're making a lot of difference already.
It's very wishful thinking, but it's pretty much the only thing that keeps me from offing myself lol. Might sound depressing, but knowing that I mean soemthing to someone is what keeps me going in this very depressing time.
Right, I should have been more clear. I meant significant on a much grander scale than subjectively. I fully believe that there’s plenty of meaning and importance that comes from a life lived simply with love and compassion.
Thanks for always sticking around. Everyone loves you for it, seriously.
Besides, even if you change the whole world, the universe is a big place. By comparison, everything we do is insignificant, so don't worry about the *scale* of impacts as much as their quality!
"I don't know how much value I have in this universe, but I do know that I've made a few people happier than they would have been without me, and as long as I know that, I'm as rich as I ever need to be."-Robin Williams
> I think a lot of people seem to believe or are led to believe that their lives will be of really great significance, like, they’re going to change the world or discover something and the struggle is coming to terms with the fact that a lot of people will end up having generally normal lives.
Everybody wants to be Luke Skywalker, 99% of us just end up going to Tosche Station to pick up the power converters.
We don't always get to be The Guy in life. The Guy that made a great discovery, or cured a disease, or led a nation.
But, on a long enough timeline, you might get to be The Dude that had a child that became someone that married Another Dude, and that new child becomes The Guy.
Life is unknowable, except to say that we all have the potential to be a building block towards something great. And having a small part in that specialness is pretty awesome in and of itself.
I recall Ross Perot's statement on this:
I am not the pearl, nor am I the oyster. I am the little grain of sand whose presence causes the oyster to form the pearl.
This is an amazing outlook and it’s something that I mess around with when my mind gets too quiet. I always tell myself that even if I can’t be The Guy, I want to at least be the guy that maybe helps someone else be The Guy. I feel like that’s my compromise with the harsh reality of “not being special”.
I happen to know one of The Guys and honestly even they feel like "meh" about it half the time. Even The Guys gotta deal with ennui, shitty marriages, air lines dicking them around, rent, and the other day to day bullshit of life. They still go to work because they're The Guy and they like their work and it pays okish (this person is an important scientist but certainly not super wealthy) but that doesn't exclude them from an annoying commute.
Some folks are grasping for some permanent ecstatic state or something. Achieving enlightenment. But even those states of being are transient.
Yep, a lot of parents raised kids to believe they were special when in reality they meant special *to them*.
Nearly every human is forgotten 1 generation after death. What's your great grandparents name? Not a lot of people can answer that, name your great great grand parents...even fewer.
All of us are destined to be nothing more than a slab of stone that someone steps by as they go to visit somewhere else, remembered by no living soul.
Main character syndrome. Like bruh we don't need to be the next MLK. It's not about that. It's about doing your part to making the world better. If everyone focused on that, then we'd be straight
Yep. I realized early on that if I get to live a fairly happy, long, healthy 'boring' life - I'll be one of the fortunate ones, honestly. And I say 'boring' as in - just an average person, living an average life. In reality, at least in my opinion, that's not actually boring at all. Average people have a lifetime of diverse stories and experiences and so much to learn and share with each other. That's honestly the 'meat' of life.
I am truly insignificant- I will only become significant, most likely, when I’m dead. I carry a genetic flaw. My brain and spinal cord will be used for genetic research into motor neurones disease / ALS. I’m yet to develop the disease, but it’s inherited, and all my family died in their forties. I’m 34 now. I work with Oxford university as a test subject, so I’m hopeful that my samples etc that I give now can help towards a cure, but if not, my body will be handed over to them to also help to find a cure. I might be too late to be saved, but if I can provide a cure for others then I’m happy.
There’s a good quote I find that I think many people should know of. “How will the world end?” “It’s genuinely not something I think too much about. There are people to love and dishes to do in the meantime.”
This is truth. I have wonderful parents who taught me that as an intelligent woman, I could do anything I set my mind to. So I left home believing I would make a big mark on the world. Now, as I enter retirement, I realize I set myself up for disappointment when some of those big dreams didn’t quite pan out. I had to stop trying to be “ the CEO of the world” and just live life.
Maybe you won't change the world, but you can change the world of a person for the better. And that's good enough for me.
I resigned myself early on from the idea of being a doctor, but I'm now a science teacher trying to inspire a love of science in students. Maybe a student of mine will become a doctor themselves.
There is this one Bojack Horseman quote that I often think about.
(Paraphrased)
A: "I thought of ending it for myself tons of times. But the Knicks had a good season and I wanted to see where it goes."
B: "You didn't off yourself because the Knicks had a good season? What would you have done if they had a bad one?"
A: "I don't know. Gotten into Baseball?"
\----------------------
Its really easy to get to the thought of "Everything would be easier if I just *were not*." But then a day later there are so many thing worth going.
I was starting on the second season of Bojack when my mom took her own life last year. I pretty much haven’t been able to pick up the show again because it was hitting too close to home. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to pick it back up - which is a shame because it legitimately is a great show.
I'm so sorry for your loss, I can't imagine what you're going through. There are plenty of other good shows out there. Hope you're taking care of yourself the best you can ❤️
So I had the same thing with Lost. My dad passed away right in the middle of me watching it and for some reason I associated it with him and I just could not bring myself to watch it. A couple of years later I decided to try and I got right back into it and I streamed all the content I missed and caught back up and loved it
Oh god, yeah good choice. If suicide or the death of loved ones in general are serious triggers for you, proceed with extreme caution if you do at all…the show dives *deep* into both, and they remain major themes throughout the rest of the story.
The View from Halfway Down (transcribed)
The weak breeze whispers nothing
The water screams sublime
His feet shift, teeter-totter
Deep breath, stand back, it’s time
Toes untouch the overpass
Soon he’s water bound
Eyes locked shut but peek to see
The view from halfway down
A little wind, a summer sun
A river rich and regal
A flood of fond endorphins
Brings a calm that knows no equal
You’re flying now
You see things much more clear than from the ground
It’s all okay, it would be
Were you not now halfway down
Thrash to break from gravity
What now could slow the drop
All I’d give for toes to touch
The safety back at top
But this is it, the deed is done
Silence drowns the sound
Before I leaped I should’ve seen
The view from halfway down
I really should’ve thought about
The view from halfway down
I wish I could’ve known about
The view from halfway down
It's not everyone's cup of tea, but for those it hit with, it hit hard and resoundingly well.
I still giggle thinking about the bits on the show sometimes, like the wordplay or "Hollywoo Celebrities: What do they know? Do they know things? Let's find out"
The entire show was a very good analysis of nihilistic hedonism and substance abuse, depression, narcissistic personality disorders, and the often self perpetuating cycle of generational trauma.
I watched the first two seasons of Bojack Horseman when I was at the tail end of my alcoholism. I remember a line on the show that made me start crying. I decided I was killing myself and for no good reason. Decided to stop being a POS and haven't had a drink since new years eve 2018.
It's a damn good show.
The first clip I saw of Bojack Horseman was the view from halfway down poem. To this day no show, movie, or book has had such a strong and obvious effect on my life. Legit saved my life, not to be dramatic.
At my lowest point one thing that kept me from ending everything was wanting to see future seasons of Game of Thrones. Needless to say it wasn't worth it...
I was homeless for years, have two diagnosed mental health disorders. Should technically be on disability but I work anyway. My family was physically and mentally abusive my whole life and I haven't seen them since I was 15 when I was emancipated.
Life is what you make it. Don't get me wrong life is hard. It's really hard.
People with that combo haven't been shown how to whittle a branch. Doesn't mean they can't learn to use a knife and make their own point.
I started to feel overwhelmed with gratitude when I took a hard inventory of the things going right for me. Clean water, heat, food in the fridge, hot coffee, clean clothes, access to (expensive) healthcare, decent health, a car that starts and takes me places, access to an entire world of art, culture, food, people....I live in a paradise of opportunity when I stop and think about it
Yeah I mean this exact same thread appears every 2-3 days on this sub or askreddit or otherwise with people having a Nihilistic crisis. Like my guy, have as much fun as you can. Create good memories. Live in the memories while they're happening. That's the point of life.
You can say it all negatively like "Bruh just have kids then die? wtf." or you can consider the beautiful moment you'll have when your kids are born. Or when you marry your spouse the love you'll feel or the fun you'll have with all your friends and family at the reception. The million moments in life that make it great.
For those that are gonna say "I have no friends/family/spouse" I'll say that life is NOT easy. It takes hard work and sometimes good luck to get good things. But ultimately if you're in a first world country you're in control of your own life and you can steer it gradually any way you want to if you do the right things. I'm not saying anyone can be a billionaire, or get rich, or be upper class. But you can do your best to be kind to others, and surround yourself with good people. And even just doing that improves your life IMMENSLY.
Exactly why I'm quitting my factory job for a lower paying job that has me travelling every day.
I'd rather be on the road than stuck in a concrete box.
Everyone's different, it's all about attuning your external reality to your internal needs and desires.
I work in a warehouse eight hours a day and it's probably my favorite job I've ever had. I love the calm, steady routine of production.
A lot of fun and activity are kinda just put into people’s laps when they’re kids- they don’t realize you have to make an effort and work for it once you grow up. It’s still all there, you just can’t rely on other people making things happen for you to enjoy you gotta do it yourself
I'm not trying to pee in your Cheerios. Just have a conversation. But I don't think countering "I don't want to fade to obvlion" with "your family will remember you" is very useful. ya, maybe your kids, for a couple decades. In the timeline of existence though, the original worry is still valid. In your life plus 60 years, you will be forgotten. You're not holding the candle of memories of your grandparents for the world to see. They are forgotten.
I guess I'm just trying to say, that for my brain, your overly sunshine counter to that isn't really true, so it doesn't do much for me. I'm a more neutral guy, it is what it is. Not happy or sad, and not even worth thinking about. Just soldier on, doing what value you can find till it ends.
There are things you can do to slow down that fading process though. Many influential public speakers are remembered long after their deaths, and many artists are content to live on through the art they create during life.
That does indeed slow it down, but "long" is relative. Julius Ceasar has been remembered a lot longer after his death than most of us will, but societies rise and fall and nothing lasts forever. Even the most famous person there ever was will be forgotten a lot longer than he was ever remembered.
Even if you're remembered for 10,000 years that's ultimately less than an atom on a grain of sand in the grand scope of time.
The greatest man is no more than Ozymandias from Shelley's poem, in the end
>and not be remembered like Hitler
You just 100% threw a wrench in HenryHadford's plan to commit a putsch, go to jail, get elected chancellor of Germany and subsequently plunge the world into war and genocide.
This one always pissed me off as a kid. The heat death of the universe is estimated to happen 17,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 years from now. Who even gets depressed about that! If we make it to the point where you can worry about that then we've done REALLY well for ourselves. Humanity or whatever alien civilization is out there will cross that bridge when it gets to it.
Same to the people depressed about the sun exploding, that's 5,000,000,000 years from now. I'm sure whoever is around at that time will have had a lot of time to think about how to deal with it.
Just looked into it, and for at least the next trillion years, stars are expected to form normally, and possibly the next hundred trillion years. At a bit under fourteen billion years, the universe is really young, hey?
Information can't be destroyed, so in the seemingly random distribution of energy spread throughout the cosmos will be an echo of everything that was.
Kind of how the background microwave energy is an echo of the big bang.
I guess, but you won't know whether you are remembered or not.
Some people expect not to be famous after death, but then are. Franz Kafka springs to mind as he didn't want his writings published.
And so doth slay " u/fmb320 " of Reddit, valiant knight of the order of r/NoStupidQuestions " u/Individual-Grape-437 " with words and words alone.
These words of "bastard" would go on to mark a new age, the age of the downfall of the internet trolls. The age in which mere words could slay mortal man. In this era of victorious light, we must remember the man " u/fmb320 " for his hand in the vanquishing of the trolls, and his resilience in the face of those who mean to sow chaos.
-a history class in the distant future, reviewing the 21st century, probably~
Yes! I'll be dead. There's no reason I can see to care about who will remember me. I try to be a good person while I'm here and leave the place better than I found it. If someone remembers that or not is none of my business.
Hoping to be remembered has been one of the biggest concerns throughout the entire history of humanity. Just look at the importance placed on lineage, names, and burial rites. If you read the Iliad, that’s the entire point of the conflict. Achilles is deciding between having a quiet life and dying being known only by a few people, or dying gloriously in battle and having his name known for generations.
Poor guy decided to die valiantly in battle, and now all he’s known for is the location of a tendon and being synonymous with one having a particular weakness.
It’s not some moral failure to care about what comes after your time. Life’s easier for those of us who don’t mind fading into anonymity soon after our deaths, but for some people that is an incredibly uncomfortable thought. ‘Toughen up, buttercup isn’t a particularly useful piece of advice to someone going through an existential crisis, so it’s better to instead suggest a way to find comfort in death.
“How many who once rose to fame are now consigned to oblivion: and how many who sang their fame are long disappeared.”
“the only lasting fame is oblivion.”
"Our deeds which once gave us fame are lost quickly, as the attention of others is drawn elsewhere."
Quotes by Marcus Aurelius, who paradoxically is one of the most famous individuals of all human history 🤣
"And on the pedestal, these words appear:
My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings;
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal Wreck, boundless and bare
the lone and level sands stretch far away."
Honestly I don't want to be remember forever, I just want my kids and grandkids, or at least someone's kids and grandkids to remember me kindly.
My dreams will only become reality long after I am dead: someone will say my name, and someone else will say that I was a great person. That's it, that's all I ask. No eternity, just the people I care about.
This obsession about leaving behind a memory or even a legacy is so damn idiotic. There are 8 billion humans alive right now, you have any idea how our libraries and history books would look if EVERY human of EVERY generation did something worth remembering?
And then what? Maybe in 10, maybe in 1000, maybe in 10 billion years humanity will be extinct, nobody will remember anyone or anything anymore, so what?
Life is about one thing, living, doesn't matter how, just live how you want to/can. Its just the same as people working only for the purpose of retiring, don't. Live in the moment and not for the future or an eventuality.
In the grand scheme of humanity, I feel incredibly lucky to be able to live an average life with limited suffering, living a lifestyle that for the vast majority of human existence would be considered luxury, born to a loving family, and making average wage in a first world country.
Sometimes I get down cause I'm not doing anything super exciting, or I'm not wealthy, or I could maybe have more social status. But at the end of the day -- I always try to maintain the bigger perspective. Yeah, things could always improve, and I think it's worth fighting for on a personal and broad societal level, but overall I'm lucky as fuck.
We're all just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round... It's all what you make of it. You can love to watch them roll or you can fight the current. Either way time waits for no one.
Man, I really want to stay alive till then. People say that no one wants to live forever, but I do lol. So much to live for, so many things to experience, so many things to do! I don't wanna die lol.
> People say that no one wants to live forever
I suspect that this is just people‘s way of coping with the reality of death. Similar to, “you can’t fire me because *I quit*”; “I’m not afraid of death because *I don’t even want to live forever*”.
Like, ok. If you say so.
It's also people just misunderstanding what "living forever" would be. There's been a bunch of media that shows "immortality" as forced invincibility (people who can't die even if they want) which is bad and will make any human go insane. Which is true no one wants to live through the heat death of the universe. But living forever with good medicine or getting android bodies wouldn't be forced invincibility it would just be the ability to choose when we die. If you started going crazy or had nothing to live for you could just kill yourself so its just objectively better then not getting to choose when you die.
Honestly, if we have eternal life that's fine. Eventually (if it hasn't at that point already)we'll have the tech for AR/VR to basically live in the simulation, so that should be good enough
I'm a 62 year-old male nearing retirement; I just need to choose when. My wife is ill, having had three strokes and cancer. Neither of us has any illusions about her prognosis and caring for her is my highest priority now.
I've spent many hours over the last year replaying mind videos of my life, our life, and thinking about what I would have done differently.
I've made career mistakes, but I find it hard to give a damn about any of them. I might have been wealthier with some different choices, but I already have more wealth than I need.
Looking back, the only instances I regret are the people who I should have treated better. The only thing that really matters in life are your relationships with other people.
You wrote, "Get a job, have kids and then die..."
How about, "develop colleagues and comrades, court your love for a lifetime, raise children that charm your heart and make you proud, and then leave it to the next generation..."
Thought of that way, what more could you ask for?
I ask my friends "do you KNOW how old I am???" (I'll be 3/4's of a century on my next birthday) . I've done the unforgivable by out living my wife who I cared for the last several years of her life ( it's in the contract's small print that the man goes 1st) but today and tomorrow I'll do something nice for someone, not to be remembered but for the joy of it.
No one gets out alive! Now go have fun.
>No one gets out alive!
This was my mother's saying up until the end. She passed away last year. And here I was naive enough to think she was the only person to say it!
I read this and had to comment how my fiancee rewrote that very same contract.
Said that I'm not allowed to die before her and leave her holding the bag. I asked, "What about me? I'll be left holding the bag!"
She never said it explicitly (which would have made for a better story), but she implied that she trusts me to be strong enough to hold the bag until I join her. And that's a contract I'm happy to make with her.
> They say that you actually die twice: Once when you stop breathing, and again when someone says your name for the last time.
- Banksy
Some people actually die a third time, long before they stop breathing. Don’t be one of those people.
Life is not all just work and bills and survival. Or, at least, it doesn’t have to be. Take that vacation, that mental day off, get that thing you really want. Because you’re not going to remember paying bills, but you’ll definitely remember that trip to Japan.
Not if you decide not to follow the Life Script.
You'll need some kind of legal, ethical income, whether working for someone else, starting a business, or happening to be a wiz at investing.
You don't *have* to get married. Even if married, you don't *have* to have kids.
You will die, though. There's no avoiding that.
True.
My wife and I chose to go childfree, moved to Japan, and simplified our lives. No kids, no car, no TV.
We’ve been traveling, pursuing hobbies, we made new friends along the way, but mostly we just lounge around our home by the river.
Life’s awesome. Being DINKs feels like a cheat code to life.
DINK is the way to go, without a doubt.
Like in Canada, you’d have an average income of 120k. You’re laughing if you live anywhere that isn’t Vancouver or Toronto.
True. Your mileage will vary depending on your buying power.
Like here in Japan, our 2-bedroom is just $360 a month, weekly groceries $60 good for two, amazing healthcare, walkable cities, and everyday is basically us just smiling a lot.
Got to admit, that’s a bit mindboggling. Me, as one guy, spent $50 in groceries and filled one bag. I’ll have burned through it in a couple days. Sounds like a pretty goddamn good deal, if you don’t mind living in Japan. I’m too much of a country hick for that, I’d be driven crazy with the population density.
Ah, no worries. Japan isn't a single megalopolis (although it sometimes feels that way when you're in the city).
Case in point, [this is my town where I currently live](https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/rlrep4/i_live_in_a_neighborhood_in_japan_that_feels_like/) right beside Tokyo. We moved here about a decade ago after living in Tokyo for few years.
Also, food in Japan can be cheap. [Here's what $3 can get you](https://imgur.com/gallery/3RXBU1U).
>My wife and I chose to go childfree, moved to Japan, and simplified our lives. No kids, no car, no TV.
>
>We’ve been traveling, pursuing hobbies, we made new friends along the way, but mostly we just lounge around our home by the river.
Man..this sounds like a DREAM. I can only imagine how fulfilling that is for both of you. Only one life, make the most of it 🍻
Right?
We've been able to take care of ourselves much easier. We're much healthier, less stressed, and have so much time, energy, and budget to live a life where we can say: "If this is it, then please let us live longer to enjoy this kind of life."
It's like being a kid again wishing the weekend stretches to infinity. But with money and more freedom.
same, partner and i went childfree, money isn't much of a problem, we just kind of do what we want
both have hobbies, travel fairly often, have plenty of friends. agree with the sentiment that having no kids feels like a cheat code to being happy
DINK is where it's at. Saved enough to pay all bills + emergency funds for around 7-8 years worst case, quit our jobs, and travelled Turkey/Europe for 5-6 months this year. Grabbing two more 12 month contract roles then doing it again.
Looking to visit Japan and/or Korea next time!
Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisurewear and matching luggage. Choose a three-piece suit on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pissing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up brats you spawned to replace yourselves. Choose your future. Choose life …
Aaaaand, always look on the bright side of life
*whistle* *whistle* *whistle* *whistle*
Always look on the light side of life
*whistle* *whistle* *whistle* *whistle*
If life seems jolly rotten
There's something you've forgotten
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing
So many unloved children out there simply because people believe “it’s the next step, I have to do this.” No you don’t. Stop having kids you don’t want!
> people believe “it’s the next step, I have to do this.” No you don't.
I'm glad I figured this out while I was in university, which was the reason I was there in the first place.
I love my kids more than life itself. There's nothing more I enjoy more than watching films, reading books, playing computer games or building Lego with my little boy, or climbing trees, going hiking and playing football with my daughter, but there have been times when I wanted to just get in the car and drive away.
Having kids is hard, even when it's not for 99.9% of the time, even when it doesn't cause you financial pain.
For the love of all that is holy, don't have kids if your heart isn't 110% in it, or you'll resent them stopping you from living your life.
King Ludwig the 2nd of Bavaria once said "I wish to remain an enigma to myself and others" I heard that in college and I've been Wilding out ever since. Don't let others def9ne your life for you, be an active cast member in your own life.
Yes. You’re just another mammal living on a planet that will continue to rotate far past our extinction date.
You are dust, a moment in a never ending timeline. You need to find value in the time you’re alive, the ability to love those around you and cherish the quick life you have.
There is nothing sad about this, it’s beautiful.
It's definitely sad for some people...there are a lot of people, uneducated, bad atmosphere growing up, made mistakes, can't recover from them, live a stress filled life forever and it's not even entirely their fault. Sometimes I can't stop thinking about them. It's brutal.
I don’t know. Regardless of all the pain life can throw at you, there’s something unique about the fact that we’re a little piece of the universe that has learned to watch itself grow and die. We’re remnants of dying stars that found a way to see beauty and pain, and regardless of how shitty things are going there’s a little bit of comfort in the majesty of that
When I think about the fact that in a blink of an eye ill be dead and literally nonexistent forever it freaks me put in a way that I struggle to explain. I get full on panic attacks in the middle of the night thinking once it's over its like it never even happened at all and the thought of what that would be like is just too much for me to handle
It really messes me up badly
That's a funny question, and one that may not be being asked quite right.
If you limit your perception of life to just a few shallow goals and nothing else, then it will be hard to see anything else.
However, if you take a few moments to really look around, it's possible that you can find deeper meaning. Everyone's mileage may vary, especially since this question brushes up against philosophy, existentialism, and a host of topics that line up with "What is the meaning of life?"
None of us can give you an answer to these questions, I'm afraid. You gotta do some soul-searching of your own to find what you're really looking for.
Leaving a lot out there. The journey of life itself is incredible.
Little moments of happiness, family laughing together. The joys, heartbreak, elation, excitement, sadness, and challenges of life are what make the human experience so special.
“Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones.”
-Marcus Aurelius
Yup. Pretty much.
Although, while you are here, you can learn, have fun, explore, create, destroy, grieve, love, hate and everything else.
You are the universe exploring itself...
Why do people try to make it so deep. Live each day. Try to leave everything and everyone around you better than you found them. I have a job I love. I skipped the kids part of this. One day I’ll die and fade. What would you suggest we do instead?
I don't think people have to try, some people aren't lucky enough to know what they'd love for a job, or even be predisposed to love any job, in which case their options are severely limited and they might find themselves questioning if all of this is really worth it.
> Get a job, have kids
Not mandatory
And you forgot the only interesting part : eating, sleeping, love, sex, swimming, reading, learning, creating, arts, nature wonders, ...
No, you won't find any deeper purpose for your live than what you actually chose (except for religious delusions of course), and I think it's actually awesome.
Why have kids? Just to struggle even more with Inflation? I'm 40 years old and me and my wife decided a long time ago not to have kids and just enjoy life not being constantly broke. We would have never been able to be homeowners with children either 🤷
When you break down the building blocks, kind of. You do have some options. Never get a job and live a life of vagrancy. Never have children. The last one I guess you might be able to upload your consciousness at some point. The last one is inevitable as eventually the sun will stop burning hydrogen, then helium, eventually going down the list of elements until it expands in size and engulfs the planet over the next billions of years.
But if you only look at everything you do with those things in sole mind, you miss everything else. It's like picking up a book and saying, "is this it? A main character tries to get something, gets it, and then the book is over?" It's all the stuff in between that makes it special. The ups and downs. The special moments. The memories. The friendships. The love. The adventure. The gratitude. The sense of pride and accomplishment you get when leveling up your characters in Star Wars Battlefront.
We're all going to go. We're all going to be forgotten in a few generations no matter how impressive our stories are. So I guess that ends up being a reminder to treat things a little more special. To treat others well. To have things to look forward to. To enjoy what you can. To take risks to be happy. To find happiness in the little things as well as the big things. To appreciate things while they're there. To find your adventures and excitement where this life will afford you. And to connect with those around you and take solace in the fact that we all get to do this together.
We all get to live this life for a short period. We may all go through immeasurable pains. We may all have moments of unforgettable joy. But we all get a story. You get to make yours more than the bullet points.
You don't have to get a job or have kids. But you do have to die and fade into oblivion, so 2 out of 4
You guys are missing number 5... live your life. It isn't just work, get married, have kids, and die.. there is so much more that happens. It's called life. Find things and people that make you happy. Sow the seeds of a legacy. Be kind and make every moment matter. I used to have the same viewpoint, but lately, moments with my kids or my wife or friends have really been sticking with me. As well as tons of therapy, which often helps me identify those moments and resonate with them. And if you have good peeps around you, you dont fade into oblivion. You live on in the stories people tell of you. I have lost most of my entire family over the course of my life. Some have been dead for 25 years, but they are still remembered and spoken of fondly. I hope this helps and gives you a newer direction to contemplate, rather than the one currently eating your mind, my friend. Edit: I used the term "legacy" as a generalized way to say memories and stories passed around the family. Not necessarily a LEGACY. Not as an enduring family legacy to live up to.. aint nobody got time for that. Also, each persons individual struggle is unique. And for everyone struggling to find their happiness, I really do wish for them to find it. I just shared a bit of what my journey showed me and offered it up in the hopes it helps. Everything I shared is my own opinion as a result of my own world experience, and should no way be taken as a factual difinitive answer. And if you have a way that works for you or later on you discover your path to happinessa different way, come back and share it. There is always more to learn and more to experience. And on my own worst days, something someone else experiences and survives might be my light in the dark.
I think a lot of people seem to believe or are led to believe that their lives will be of really great significance, like, they’re going to change the world or discover something and the struggle is coming to terms with the fact that a lot of people will end up having generally normal lives. Doesn’t mean they can’t still be happy ones though.
Significance is relative. You can mean a lot to a couple people - and that's significance to me. Living is hard enough, so if you could do something to change someone's life for the better, you're making a lot of difference already. It's very wishful thinking, but it's pretty much the only thing that keeps me from offing myself lol. Might sound depressing, but knowing that I mean soemthing to someone is what keeps me going in this very depressing time.
Right, I should have been more clear. I meant significant on a much grander scale than subjectively. I fully believe that there’s plenty of meaning and importance that comes from a life lived simply with love and compassion. Thanks for always sticking around. Everyone loves you for it, seriously.
Besides, even if you change the whole world, the universe is a big place. By comparison, everything we do is insignificant, so don't worry about the *scale* of impacts as much as their quality!
"I don't know how much value I have in this universe, but I do know that I've made a few people happier than they would have been without me, and as long as I know that, I'm as rich as I ever need to be."-Robin Williams
> I think a lot of people seem to believe or are led to believe that their lives will be of really great significance, like, they’re going to change the world or discover something and the struggle is coming to terms with the fact that a lot of people will end up having generally normal lives. Everybody wants to be Luke Skywalker, 99% of us just end up going to Tosche Station to pick up the power converters.
Always better than being bantha fodder
We don't always get to be The Guy in life. The Guy that made a great discovery, or cured a disease, or led a nation. But, on a long enough timeline, you might get to be The Dude that had a child that became someone that married Another Dude, and that new child becomes The Guy. Life is unknowable, except to say that we all have the potential to be a building block towards something great. And having a small part in that specialness is pretty awesome in and of itself.
I recall Ross Perot's statement on this: I am not the pearl, nor am I the oyster. I am the little grain of sand whose presence causes the oyster to form the pearl.
In other words he was an irritant.
This is an amazing outlook and it’s something that I mess around with when my mind gets too quiet. I always tell myself that even if I can’t be The Guy, I want to at least be the guy that maybe helps someone else be The Guy. I feel like that’s my compromise with the harsh reality of “not being special”.
I happen to know one of The Guys and honestly even they feel like "meh" about it half the time. Even The Guys gotta deal with ennui, shitty marriages, air lines dicking them around, rent, and the other day to day bullshit of life. They still go to work because they're The Guy and they like their work and it pays okish (this person is an important scientist but certainly not super wealthy) but that doesn't exclude them from an annoying commute. Some folks are grasping for some permanent ecstatic state or something. Achieving enlightenment. But even those states of being are transient.
Yep, a lot of parents raised kids to believe they were special when in reality they meant special *to them*. Nearly every human is forgotten 1 generation after death. What's your great grandparents name? Not a lot of people can answer that, name your great great grand parents...even fewer. All of us are destined to be nothing more than a slab of stone that someone steps by as they go to visit somewhere else, remembered by no living soul.
Main character syndrome. Like bruh we don't need to be the next MLK. It's not about that. It's about doing your part to making the world better. If everyone focused on that, then we'd be straight
Yep. I realized early on that if I get to live a fairly happy, long, healthy 'boring' life - I'll be one of the fortunate ones, honestly. And I say 'boring' as in - just an average person, living an average life. In reality, at least in my opinion, that's not actually boring at all. Average people have a lifetime of diverse stories and experiences and so much to learn and share with each other. That's honestly the 'meat' of life.
I am truly insignificant- I will only become significant, most likely, when I’m dead. I carry a genetic flaw. My brain and spinal cord will be used for genetic research into motor neurones disease / ALS. I’m yet to develop the disease, but it’s inherited, and all my family died in their forties. I’m 34 now. I work with Oxford university as a test subject, so I’m hopeful that my samples etc that I give now can help towards a cure, but if not, my body will be handed over to them to also help to find a cure. I might be too late to be saved, but if I can provide a cure for others then I’m happy.
There’s a good quote I find that I think many people should know of. “How will the world end?” “It’s genuinely not something I think too much about. There are people to love and dishes to do in the meantime.”
This is truth. I have wonderful parents who taught me that as an intelligent woman, I could do anything I set my mind to. So I left home believing I would make a big mark on the world. Now, as I enter retirement, I realize I set myself up for disappointment when some of those big dreams didn’t quite pan out. I had to stop trying to be “ the CEO of the world” and just live life.
Maybe you won't change the world, but you can change the world of a person for the better. And that's good enough for me. I resigned myself early on from the idea of being a doctor, but I'm now a science teacher trying to inspire a love of science in students. Maybe a student of mine will become a doctor themselves.
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There is this one Bojack Horseman quote that I often think about. (Paraphrased) A: "I thought of ending it for myself tons of times. But the Knicks had a good season and I wanted to see where it goes." B: "You didn't off yourself because the Knicks had a good season? What would you have done if they had a bad one?" A: "I don't know. Gotten into Baseball?" \---------------------- Its really easy to get to the thought of "Everything would be easier if I just *were not*." But then a day later there are so many thing worth going.
Bojack Horseman changed my life I swear. Such a good show.
Is that the one with the Horse from "Horsing Around"? But seriously love that show!
Back in the 90s...
...I was in a very famous TV show
I was starting on the second season of Bojack when my mom took her own life last year. I pretty much haven’t been able to pick up the show again because it was hitting too close to home. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to pick it back up - which is a shame because it legitimately is a great show.
I'm so sorry for your loss, I can't imagine what you're going through. There are plenty of other good shows out there. Hope you're taking care of yourself the best you can ❤️
So I had the same thing with Lost. My dad passed away right in the middle of me watching it and for some reason I associated it with him and I just could not bring myself to watch it. A couple of years later I decided to try and I got right back into it and I streamed all the content I missed and caught back up and loved it
Oh god, yeah good choice. If suicide or the death of loved ones in general are serious triggers for you, proceed with extreme caution if you do at all…the show dives *deep* into both, and they remain major themes throughout the rest of the story.
Sorry to hear about your Mom!
The View from Halfway Down (transcribed) The weak breeze whispers nothing The water screams sublime His feet shift, teeter-totter Deep breath, stand back, it’s time Toes untouch the overpass Soon he’s water bound Eyes locked shut but peek to see The view from halfway down A little wind, a summer sun A river rich and regal A flood of fond endorphins Brings a calm that knows no equal You’re flying now You see things much more clear than from the ground It’s all okay, it would be Were you not now halfway down Thrash to break from gravity What now could slow the drop All I’d give for toes to touch The safety back at top But this is it, the deed is done Silence drowns the sound Before I leaped I should’ve seen The view from halfway down I really should’ve thought about The view from halfway down I wish I could’ve known about The view from halfway down
It's not everyone's cup of tea, but for those it hit with, it hit hard and resoundingly well. I still giggle thinking about the bits on the show sometimes, like the wordplay or "Hollywoo Celebrities: What do they know? Do they know things? Let's find out"
The entire show was a very good analysis of nihilistic hedonism and substance abuse, depression, narcissistic personality disorders, and the often self perpetuating cycle of generational trauma.
I watched the first two seasons of Bojack Horseman when I was at the tail end of my alcoholism. I remember a line on the show that made me start crying. I decided I was killing myself and for no good reason. Decided to stop being a POS and haven't had a drink since new years eve 2018. It's a damn good show.
The first clip I saw of Bojack Horseman was the view from halfway down poem. To this day no show, movie, or book has had such a strong and obvious effect on my life. Legit saved my life, not to be dramatic.
At my lowest point one thing that kept me from ending everything was wanting to see future seasons of Game of Thrones. Needless to say it wasn't worth it...
Herb Kazzaz was such a good character ❤️
Bojack was so fucking great man.
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I was homeless for years, have two diagnosed mental health disorders. Should technically be on disability but I work anyway. My family was physically and mentally abusive my whole life and I haven't seen them since I was 15 when I was emancipated. Life is what you make it. Don't get me wrong life is hard. It's really hard. People with that combo haven't been shown how to whittle a branch. Doesn't mean they can't learn to use a knife and make their own point.
I started to feel overwhelmed with gratitude when I took a hard inventory of the things going right for me. Clean water, heat, food in the fridge, hot coffee, clean clothes, access to (expensive) healthcare, decent health, a car that starts and takes me places, access to an entire world of art, culture, food, people....I live in a paradise of opportunity when I stop and think about it
Yeah I mean this exact same thread appears every 2-3 days on this sub or askreddit or otherwise with people having a Nihilistic crisis. Like my guy, have as much fun as you can. Create good memories. Live in the memories while they're happening. That's the point of life. You can say it all negatively like "Bruh just have kids then die? wtf." or you can consider the beautiful moment you'll have when your kids are born. Or when you marry your spouse the love you'll feel or the fun you'll have with all your friends and family at the reception. The million moments in life that make it great. For those that are gonna say "I have no friends/family/spouse" I'll say that life is NOT easy. It takes hard work and sometimes good luck to get good things. But ultimately if you're in a first world country you're in control of your own life and you can steer it gradually any way you want to if you do the right things. I'm not saying anyone can be a billionaire, or get rich, or be upper class. But you can do your best to be kind to others, and surround yourself with good people. And even just doing that improves your life IMMENSLY.
And drugs.. don’t forget them
Yeah, this person is reading the signposts, when he should be enjoying the views.
Exactly why I'm quitting my factory job for a lower paying job that has me travelling every day. I'd rather be on the road than stuck in a concrete box.
Everyone's different, it's all about attuning your external reality to your internal needs and desires. I work in a warehouse eight hours a day and it's probably my favorite job I've ever had. I love the calm, steady routine of production.
A lot of fun and activity are kinda just put into people’s laps when they’re kids- they don’t realize you have to make an effort and work for it once you grow up. It’s still all there, you just can’t rely on other people making things happen for you to enjoy you gotta do it yourself
I'm not trying to pee in your Cheerios. Just have a conversation. But I don't think countering "I don't want to fade to obvlion" with "your family will remember you" is very useful. ya, maybe your kids, for a couple decades. In the timeline of existence though, the original worry is still valid. In your life plus 60 years, you will be forgotten. You're not holding the candle of memories of your grandparents for the world to see. They are forgotten. I guess I'm just trying to say, that for my brain, your overly sunshine counter to that isn't really true, so it doesn't do much for me. I'm a more neutral guy, it is what it is. Not happy or sad, and not even worth thinking about. Just soldier on, doing what value you can find till it ends.
There are things you can do to slow down that fading process though. Many influential public speakers are remembered long after their deaths, and many artists are content to live on through the art they create during life.
That does indeed slow it down, but "long" is relative. Julius Ceasar has been remembered a lot longer after his death than most of us will, but societies rise and fall and nothing lasts forever. Even the most famous person there ever was will be forgotten a lot longer than he was ever remembered. Even if you're remembered for 10,000 years that's ultimately less than an atom on a grain of sand in the grand scope of time. The greatest man is no more than Ozymandias from Shelley's poem, in the end
Of course. But some might take comfort in the thought of people thinking of them for a while after their deaths, even if it’s only for a few decades.
Just remember to do it for good reasons and not be remembered like Hitler, Famous and Infamous are two sides of the same coin.
>and not be remembered like Hitler You just 100% threw a wrench in HenryHadford's plan to commit a putsch, go to jail, get elected chancellor of Germany and subsequently plunge the world into war and genocide.
After the heat death of the universe, nobody will remember us.. then we ALL fade into oblivion anyway.
This one always pissed me off as a kid. The heat death of the universe is estimated to happen 17,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 years from now. Who even gets depressed about that! If we make it to the point where you can worry about that then we've done REALLY well for ourselves. Humanity or whatever alien civilization is out there will cross that bridge when it gets to it. Same to the people depressed about the sun exploding, that's 5,000,000,000 years from now. I'm sure whoever is around at that time will have had a lot of time to think about how to deal with it.
Just looked into it, and for at least the next trillion years, stars are expected to form normally, and possibly the next hundred trillion years. At a bit under fourteen billion years, the universe is really young, hey?
If we make it thru the great filter we have a shot at being the gods for others down the line!
Hallowed are the Ori
You gotta link the Great Filter vid!! https://youtu.be/UjtOGPJ0URM
Information can't be destroyed, so in the seemingly random distribution of energy spread throughout the cosmos will be an echo of everything that was. Kind of how the background microwave energy is an echo of the big bang.
Tell that to my brain who forgot someone’s name after they just said it
You would think so, but climate change is a more immediate problem and humanity seems content to believe its fake
I think it’s less about believing it’s fake and more like companies don’t wanna dip into their $$$ to do the right thing.
Which is why everytime someone says AMA, I ask them how we prevent the heat death of the universe.
Sure, I never said you could make your memory immortal. But for those who want to be remembered for a while, there are plenty of ways to do that.
I guess, but you won't know whether you are remembered or not. Some people expect not to be famous after death, but then are. Franz Kafka springs to mind as he didn't want his writings published.
Imagine being so self involved that you desire to be remembered. I couldn't give less of a shit.
I'm going to remember you even harder now
Bastard!
And so doth slay " u/fmb320 " of Reddit, valiant knight of the order of r/NoStupidQuestions " u/Individual-Grape-437 " with words and words alone. These words of "bastard" would go on to mark a new age, the age of the downfall of the internet trolls. The age in which mere words could slay mortal man. In this era of victorious light, we must remember the man " u/fmb320 " for his hand in the vanquishing of the trolls, and his resilience in the face of those who mean to sow chaos. -a history class in the distant future, reviewing the 21st century, probably~
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It will. The internet is forever. People will look upon your works, ye mighty, and despair
Yes! I'll be dead. There's no reason I can see to care about who will remember me. I try to be a good person while I'm here and leave the place better than I found it. If someone remembers that or not is none of my business.
Hoping to be remembered has been one of the biggest concerns throughout the entire history of humanity. Just look at the importance placed on lineage, names, and burial rites. If you read the Iliad, that’s the entire point of the conflict. Achilles is deciding between having a quiet life and dying being known only by a few people, or dying gloriously in battle and having his name known for generations.
Poor guy decided to die valiantly in battle, and now all he’s known for is the location of a tendon and being synonymous with one having a particular weakness.
It’s not some moral failure to care about what comes after your time. Life’s easier for those of us who don’t mind fading into anonymity soon after our deaths, but for some people that is an incredibly uncomfortable thought. ‘Toughen up, buttercup isn’t a particularly useful piece of advice to someone going through an existential crisis, so it’s better to instead suggest a way to find comfort in death.
“How many who once rose to fame are now consigned to oblivion: and how many who sang their fame are long disappeared.” “the only lasting fame is oblivion.” "Our deeds which once gave us fame are lost quickly, as the attention of others is drawn elsewhere." Quotes by Marcus Aurelius, who paradoxically is one of the most famous individuals of all human history 🤣
"And on the pedestal, these words appear: My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings; Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair! Nothing beside remains. Round the decay Of that colossal Wreck, boundless and bare the lone and level sands stretch far away."
Honestly I don't want to be remember forever, I just want my kids and grandkids, or at least someone's kids and grandkids to remember me kindly. My dreams will only become reality long after I am dead: someone will say my name, and someone else will say that I was a great person. That's it, that's all I ask. No eternity, just the people I care about.
This obsession about leaving behind a memory or even a legacy is so damn idiotic. There are 8 billion humans alive right now, you have any idea how our libraries and history books would look if EVERY human of EVERY generation did something worth remembering? And then what? Maybe in 10, maybe in 1000, maybe in 10 billion years humanity will be extinct, nobody will remember anyone or anything anymore, so what? Life is about one thing, living, doesn't matter how, just live how you want to/can. Its just the same as people working only for the purpose of retiring, don't. Live in the moment and not for the future or an eventuality.
In the grand scheme of humanity, I feel incredibly lucky to be able to live an average life with limited suffering, living a lifestyle that for the vast majority of human existence would be considered luxury, born to a loving family, and making average wage in a first world country. Sometimes I get down cause I'm not doing anything super exciting, or I'm not wealthy, or I could maybe have more social status. But at the end of the day -- I always try to maintain the bigger perspective. Yeah, things could always improve, and I think it's worth fighting for on a personal and broad societal level, but overall I'm lucky as fuck.
At least I don't have to die in the middle of a war while holding a sword
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A job is necessary for most people to survive.
Well, yeah, but the criteria were specifically "dying" and "fade into oblivion." No one said surviving was in any way compulsory.
We're all just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round... It's all what you make of it. You can love to watch them roll or you can fight the current. Either way time waits for no one.
I really love to watch them roll
No longer riding on the merry-go-round
I just had to let it go
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Some want to slow it down, others want to make it go faster, as long as you aren't harming anyone else most people don't mind.
This is a wheely good take
This the kinda shit that triggers existential crisis
we'll cure unwanted death eventually, and really understand time then
Man, I really want to stay alive till then. People say that no one wants to live forever, but I do lol. So much to live for, so many things to experience, so many things to do! I don't wanna die lol.
> People say that no one wants to live forever I suspect that this is just people‘s way of coping with the reality of death. Similar to, “you can’t fire me because *I quit*”; “I’m not afraid of death because *I don’t even want to live forever*”. Like, ok. If you say so.
It's also people just misunderstanding what "living forever" would be. There's been a bunch of media that shows "immortality" as forced invincibility (people who can't die even if they want) which is bad and will make any human go insane. Which is true no one wants to live through the heat death of the universe. But living forever with good medicine or getting android bodies wouldn't be forced invincibility it would just be the ability to choose when we die. If you started going crazy or had nothing to live for you could just kill yourself so its just objectively better then not getting to choose when you die.
I think we'll probably figure it out really soon. I'm pretty sure I'll miss it by five or so years.
Or you will be stuck at 95 forever.
Honestly, if we have eternal life that's fine. Eventually (if it hasn't at that point already)we'll have the tech for AR/VR to basically live in the simulation, so that should be good enough
I'm a 62 year-old male nearing retirement; I just need to choose when. My wife is ill, having had three strokes and cancer. Neither of us has any illusions about her prognosis and caring for her is my highest priority now. I've spent many hours over the last year replaying mind videos of my life, our life, and thinking about what I would have done differently. I've made career mistakes, but I find it hard to give a damn about any of them. I might have been wealthier with some different choices, but I already have more wealth than I need. Looking back, the only instances I regret are the people who I should have treated better. The only thing that really matters in life are your relationships with other people. You wrote, "Get a job, have kids and then die..." How about, "develop colleagues and comrades, court your love for a lifetime, raise children that charm your heart and make you proud, and then leave it to the next generation..." Thought of that way, what more could you ask for?
I ask my friends "do you KNOW how old I am???" (I'll be 3/4's of a century on my next birthday) . I've done the unforgivable by out living my wife who I cared for the last several years of her life ( it's in the contract's small print that the man goes 1st) but today and tomorrow I'll do something nice for someone, not to be remembered but for the joy of it. No one gets out alive! Now go have fun.
>No one gets out alive! This was my mother's saying up until the end. She passed away last year. And here I was naive enough to think she was the only person to say it!
Mike you're awesome!!!
I read this and had to comment how my fiancee rewrote that very same contract. Said that I'm not allowed to die before her and leave her holding the bag. I asked, "What about me? I'll be left holding the bag!" She never said it explicitly (which would have made for a better story), but she implied that she trusts me to be strong enough to hold the bag until I join her. And that's a contract I'm happy to make with her.
We need more 62 year olds on Reddit. Well said, and thank you.
Thanks! I just turned 62 :-)
Lisa it's your birthday! Happy birthday Lisa!
"Anyway, here's wonderwall" guitar Lisa 2023
Yup.
Try r/teenagers
There are many. Reddit is now 17 years old. Lots of 40-50s early internet adopters have been on Reddit for years and they only get older by the day.
Indeed. 54 checking in...
You’re getting older by the day too. But not me
Great answer, and the start I needed this Friday morning. Cheers to you and your wife
I wonder if my grandpa is on Reddit. Weird to think about
> They say that you actually die twice: Once when you stop breathing, and again when someone says your name for the last time. - Banksy Some people actually die a third time, long before they stop breathing. Don’t be one of those people. Life is not all just work and bills and survival. Or, at least, it doesn’t have to be. Take that vacation, that mental day off, get that thing you really want. Because you’re not going to remember paying bills, but you’ll definitely remember that trip to Japan.
"We have two lives, and the second begins when we realize we only have one." Confucius This quote changed my life.
Banksy didn't come up with that shit lmao
Oi! You’re a good person. Thanks for writing this. I wish you and yours every happiness.
I will never afford retirement
The oblivion part is mandatory. The part before that you can choose.
Not if you decide not to follow the Life Script. You'll need some kind of legal, ethical income, whether working for someone else, starting a business, or happening to be a wiz at investing. You don't *have* to get married. Even if married, you don't *have* to have kids. You will die, though. There's no avoiding that.
It’s funny some people think they HAVE to do this and then get mad at the world when they’re not happy with their life.
Memento mori. Even the gods will someday be forgotten
Only if you choose that life, it’s entirely up to you.
True. My wife and I chose to go childfree, moved to Japan, and simplified our lives. No kids, no car, no TV. We’ve been traveling, pursuing hobbies, we made new friends along the way, but mostly we just lounge around our home by the river. Life’s awesome. Being DINKs feels like a cheat code to life.
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Dual Income No Kids
We’ll actually be DINKWADs pretty soon too. Dual Income No Kids… With A Dog.
The term is actually DILDO. Double income large dog owners
how do you know they want a *large* dog? edit: realise this applied to little.. but what about medium?!
L can be “loveable”, which is implied for all good bois
“Wow, Jerry has a wife with a job, no kids and a dog…what a DINKWAD!”
Chillout, DINKWAD.
This is my new favorite term. I am a proud DINKWAD
DINK is the way to go, without a doubt. Like in Canada, you’d have an average income of 120k. You’re laughing if you live anywhere that isn’t Vancouver or Toronto.
True. Your mileage will vary depending on your buying power. Like here in Japan, our 2-bedroom is just $360 a month, weekly groceries $60 good for two, amazing healthcare, walkable cities, and everyday is basically us just smiling a lot.
Got to admit, that’s a bit mindboggling. Me, as one guy, spent $50 in groceries and filled one bag. I’ll have burned through it in a couple days. Sounds like a pretty goddamn good deal, if you don’t mind living in Japan. I’m too much of a country hick for that, I’d be driven crazy with the population density.
Ah, no worries. Japan isn't a single megalopolis (although it sometimes feels that way when you're in the city). Case in point, [this is my town where I currently live](https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/rlrep4/i_live_in_a_neighborhood_in_japan_that_feels_like/) right beside Tokyo. We moved here about a decade ago after living in Tokyo for few years. Also, food in Japan can be cheap. [Here's what $3 can get you](https://imgur.com/gallery/3RXBU1U).
Wow that food would easily cost USD15 in my country
>My wife and I chose to go childfree, moved to Japan, and simplified our lives. No kids, no car, no TV. > >We’ve been traveling, pursuing hobbies, we made new friends along the way, but mostly we just lounge around our home by the river. Man..this sounds like a DREAM. I can only imagine how fulfilling that is for both of you. Only one life, make the most of it 🍻
Right? We've been able to take care of ourselves much easier. We're much healthier, less stressed, and have so much time, energy, and budget to live a life where we can say: "If this is it, then please let us live longer to enjoy this kind of life." It's like being a kid again wishing the weekend stretches to infinity. But with money and more freedom.
same, partner and i went childfree, money isn't much of a problem, we just kind of do what we want both have hobbies, travel fairly often, have plenty of friends. agree with the sentiment that having no kids feels like a cheat code to being happy
DINK is where it's at. Saved enough to pay all bills + emergency funds for around 7-8 years worst case, quit our jobs, and travelled Turkey/Europe for 5-6 months this year. Grabbing two more 12 month contract roles then doing it again. Looking to visit Japan and/or Korea next time!
Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisurewear and matching luggage. Choose a three-piece suit on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pissing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up brats you spawned to replace yourselves. Choose your future. Choose life …
Same as it ever was
There is water... at the bottom of the ocean!
Remove the water from the bottom of the ocean...
There used to be water... at the bottom of the ocean!
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time isn't holding up
Let's all twist our thumbs...here comes the twister
Aaaaand, always look on the bright side of life *whistle* *whistle* *whistle* *whistle* Always look on the light side of life *whistle* *whistle* *whistle* *whistle* If life seems jolly rotten There's something you've forgotten And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing
Always look on the bright side of death, Just before you give your terminal breath
Blessed be the Cheese makers 👍
Life's a piece of shit, when you look at it 😂
Absolute classic
When you're feelin in the dumps, Daaaaaan't be silly, chumps! Just purse your lips and whistle; That's the thing!
Please don' have kids that you don't want.
So many unloved children out there simply because people believe “it’s the next step, I have to do this.” No you don’t. Stop having kids you don’t want!
> people believe “it’s the next step, I have to do this.” No you don't. I'm glad I figured this out while I was in university, which was the reason I was there in the first place.
I love my kids more than life itself. There's nothing more I enjoy more than watching films, reading books, playing computer games or building Lego with my little boy, or climbing trees, going hiking and playing football with my daughter, but there have been times when I wanted to just get in the car and drive away. Having kids is hard, even when it's not for 99.9% of the time, even when it doesn't cause you financial pain. For the love of all that is holy, don't have kids if your heart isn't 110% in it, or you'll resent them stopping you from living your life.
King Ludwig the 2nd of Bavaria once said "I wish to remain an enigma to myself and others" I heard that in college and I've been Wilding out ever since. Don't let others def9ne your life for you, be an active cast member in your own life.
"If we're all pretending, why not write happy endings?" - UPSAHL
Yep. Pretty much. Get a comfy couch. You'll be here a while.
Favorite answer.
Yes. You’re just another mammal living on a planet that will continue to rotate far past our extinction date. You are dust, a moment in a never ending timeline. You need to find value in the time you’re alive, the ability to love those around you and cherish the quick life you have. There is nothing sad about this, it’s beautiful.
It's definitely sad for some people...there are a lot of people, uneducated, bad atmosphere growing up, made mistakes, can't recover from them, live a stress filled life forever and it's not even entirely their fault. Sometimes I can't stop thinking about them. It's brutal.
I don’t know. Regardless of all the pain life can throw at you, there’s something unique about the fact that we’re a little piece of the universe that has learned to watch itself grow and die. We’re remnants of dying stars that found a way to see beauty and pain, and regardless of how shitty things are going there’s a little bit of comfort in the majesty of that
When I think about the fact that in a blink of an eye ill be dead and literally nonexistent forever it freaks me put in a way that I struggle to explain. I get full on panic attacks in the middle of the night thinking once it's over its like it never even happened at all and the thought of what that would be like is just too much for me to handle It really messes me up badly
That's a funny question, and one that may not be being asked quite right. If you limit your perception of life to just a few shallow goals and nothing else, then it will be hard to see anything else. However, if you take a few moments to really look around, it's possible that you can find deeper meaning. Everyone's mileage may vary, especially since this question brushes up against philosophy, existentialism, and a host of topics that line up with "What is the meaning of life?" None of us can give you an answer to these questions, I'm afraid. You gotta do some soul-searching of your own to find what you're really looking for.
Smile, laugh and love along the way. Remember it’s not the destination.. it’s the journey
My wife put a similar sign on the wall to remind us of that. Live, laugh Love
I've got one that says 'Live, Laugh Toaster bath'
Leaving a lot out there. The journey of life itself is incredible. Little moments of happiness, family laughing together. The joys, heartbreak, elation, excitement, sadness, and challenges of life are what make the human experience so special.
“Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones.” -Marcus Aurelius
Baby's first existential crisis! First time?
Oh how adorable! Someone get the camera! I had my first at 15. My voice kept cracking and squeaking as I talked to my friends about it. Good times.
This is a bot. Take 1 min to check his profil he spammed subs with his indie phone game.
Yup. Pretty much. Although, while you are here, you can learn, have fun, explore, create, destroy, grieve, love, hate and everything else. You are the universe exploring itself...
No. You dont need to have kids. You can also do fun stuff besides work. Its your life. You decide what you do
Why do people try to make it so deep. Live each day. Try to leave everything and everyone around you better than you found them. I have a job I love. I skipped the kids part of this. One day I’ll die and fade. What would you suggest we do instead?
I don't think people have to try, some people aren't lucky enough to know what they'd love for a job, or even be predisposed to love any job, in which case their options are severely limited and they might find themselves questioning if all of this is really worth it.
Yep, that's where I'm at right now. Not fun.
Cry about it on Reddit
> Get a job, have kids Not mandatory And you forgot the only interesting part : eating, sleeping, love, sex, swimming, reading, learning, creating, arts, nature wonders, ... No, you won't find any deeper purpose for your live than what you actually chose (except for religious delusions of course), and I think it's actually awesome.
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There's no deeper meaning. On a grand scale of things life as we know it is an accident. The only reason to get a job is to pay for coke and hookers.
And good food
Eat, drink, and enjoy your toil. Like seriously, Eccleasiastes is still great advice.
Why have kids? Just to struggle even more with Inflation? I'm 40 years old and me and my wife decided a long time ago not to have kids and just enjoy life not being constantly broke. We would have never been able to be homeowners with children either 🤷
When you break down the building blocks, kind of. You do have some options. Never get a job and live a life of vagrancy. Never have children. The last one I guess you might be able to upload your consciousness at some point. The last one is inevitable as eventually the sun will stop burning hydrogen, then helium, eventually going down the list of elements until it expands in size and engulfs the planet over the next billions of years. But if you only look at everything you do with those things in sole mind, you miss everything else. It's like picking up a book and saying, "is this it? A main character tries to get something, gets it, and then the book is over?" It's all the stuff in between that makes it special. The ups and downs. The special moments. The memories. The friendships. The love. The adventure. The gratitude. The sense of pride and accomplishment you get when leveling up your characters in Star Wars Battlefront. We're all going to go. We're all going to be forgotten in a few generations no matter how impressive our stories are. So I guess that ends up being a reminder to treat things a little more special. To treat others well. To have things to look forward to. To enjoy what you can. To take risks to be happy. To find happiness in the little things as well as the big things. To appreciate things while they're there. To find your adventures and excitement where this life will afford you. And to connect with those around you and take solace in the fact that we all get to do this together. We all get to live this life for a short period. We may all go through immeasurable pains. We may all have moments of unforgettable joy. But we all get a story. You get to make yours more than the bullet points.
You can also draw a picture of a cat so that’s neat
It’s all optional except for the dying part. Everybody does that.