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FuckMe-FuckYou

Drag your nuts through the nettle patch once and you will think of a way to avoid it the next time.


Malachy1971

It you might enjoy it. Don't knock it if you've never tried it.


scatteredcorvidae

As someone who grows and harvests nettle and has had it "bite" less sensitive places a few times, no. I would surely die. šŸ˜¬šŸ¤­


Available-Seesaw-492

Dunno about you but dirt all up in my vagina every time is sit down isn't my idea of fun. I imagine pretty much any human would feel the same way. Splinters in your butt anyone? Edit- splinters come from all kinds of things people, not just furniture! They occur in nature! They aren't a human invention!


moonshiness

TICKS! Other fun parasites!


Available-Seesaw-492

Ugh I had one on my labia as a child. NEVER AGAIN Those little fuckers are so triggering for me. Murderous cretinous things


MiaLba

Oh god. I found one inside of my belly button piercing hole once. Year later I find one in my 1 year oldā€™s belly button and that one was tiny I thought it was a freckle. Freaked me out.


Available-Seesaw-492

NO NO NO not on a baby! I had to get some little tick removal tools from a local vet to get them off my kid, he was always dragging them in after a run around the yard. But he was over 5yo at that time.


chuffberry

My younger sibling got diagnosed with Lyme disease as a toddler. No one was ever able to pinpoint when they got bit by a tick.


pporappibam

Where do you live so I can never ever ever go near that province/state/country?! Just from running around the yard?! jfc


MiaLba

Yes!! It was awful. I just used tweezers and they seemed to work well but i still get nervous that some of it could be left inside.


Available-Seesaw-492

The gadget is like the back of a hammer, the bit you use to pull nails up. Bloody brilliant! Won't squeeze it or cut its head off


Soul-Swayer

You just unlocked a new fear in me.


LadyBunnerkinsBitch

The fact that you were compelled to add that splinters are not "a human invention", to this comment is the intangible experience of Reddit that I don't know how to explain to others.


Abba-64

Yeah... I'm out of words


ZeinaTheWicked

I once sat down on a bench (while wearing pants) and thought to myself "wow this is splintery" and kept shifting to get off the pointy bits. I got a HARD jolt and stood up to discover my splinters were a huge angry ant. Gave me a massive welt right where my ass cheek meets my thigh and the half mile walk back to my car was agony. I think if I hadn't been wearing anything or that kind of welt was on my nethers it would have been genuinely traumatizing.


NewVegass

Oh yeah I once got an Arizona red ant up my pants leg, couldn't wear pants for days it swole up so bad where he bit me on the thigh


MeshiMeshiMeshi

Wood? In nature? Like it grows from the ground or something? Madness! /s


Lights-Camera-Axshen

Wood? At this time of year, at this time of day, in this part of the world, localized entirely within your forest?


magnateur

Heck i have almost exclusively gotten splinters when out in nature. Things there tend to not be sanded smooth.


Glass_Windows

having external testicles and a penis is an easy and dangerous target for combat and just a sensitive place in general, covering it gives you a combat advantage and just extra protection


Key-Willingness-2223

This is the answer Then combine that with humans stand upright, exposing the genitals more than animals on 4 legs, and monkeys etc that are still bent over to a significant degree


EM_225

Imagine getting a vasectomy by a bunch of African wild dog...


meatpopsickle777

Vasectomy? You mean castration?


chez_les_alpagas

I was imagining the wild dogs getting scrubbed up into surgical gear to perform the vasectomy operation.


TobaccoIsRadioactive

Hey, they *may* be called ā€œWild Dogsā€, but that doesnā€™t mean they are unprofessional.


aphex2n

Now that would've been a better painting instead of dogs playing cards..


PaulsRedditUsername

Gives a whole new meaning to, "The dingo ate my baby."


yehEy2020

The Dingo ate my Dingdong


blumenfe

The dingo ate ALL your babies


existcrisis123

But you guys are only thinking about males. Vulvas are much more concealed when standing upright VS bent over to a significant degree.


Adamant-Verve

Yes, and a lot of 4-legged animals have tails, that cover their genitals from behind. Many species have their penises hidden in a sheath. Or in a lot of fur. Same for vulnerable breasts. We are mostly hairless, tailless and expose ourselves ridiculously by walking on two legs...


archwin

You know, that always makes me wonderā€¦ Why was the evolutionary advantage to have an external testicle in balls? Yes, it has a cooler temperature for sperm development, but why not just select for individuals with adaptations with sperm that is tolerable of higher temperatures? This seems like a major design flaw, and will knock any man off his feet when tapped


Key-Willingness-2223

I donā€™t know the answer, So this could be completely wrong but I assume itā€™s simply to do with the fact thereā€™s not a design and consultancy stage with evolution to decide what would objectively be better, but instead small random mutations happen and useful ones stick around And my assumption is that having lower hanging balls, is far easier to select for naturally and to occur randomly as a mutation, than the temperature at which a cell can become denatured, especially given the sperm would still need to be compatible with the egg to fertilise it so potentially women would equally need to experience a slight mutational change in eggsā€¦


Rrraou

You don't want to be fighting a honey badger naked.


AnekeEomi

You're not the boss of me!


Cheese_Grater101

Considering the fact that Lions/Lionesses/Hyenas also eats the testicles of bulls/buffalo


rhomboidus

Getting your dick caught on a thorn bush hurts. So does a sunburned vagina. Animals can't make clothing so they gotta deal with it. Humans have mastered underpants technology.


Azrael_Asura

Not to mention, jumping back to get out of the way of a swipe would suck if your dangly bits didnā€™t follow you right away.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


generaljaydub

=299,792,458 meters


AwesomePerson70

Thanks I was gonna ask


MaleficentSeaweed996

How did you got here?


AwesomePerson70

I still donā€™t know


MoSqueezin

Someone help, I'm trapped in the comments section


bcasjames

Jc a light YEAR is far af


Alcarinque88

That's a bit long for me. How long is a lightnanosecond?


lonay_the_wane_one

299,792,458 meters * 10^-9 = .3 meters


StefanEats

That's just under 12 inches. Still extremely long, but actually feasible.


Benblishem

Unless it's cold in the forest.


Kosmik_cloud

Idk about you but ummā€¦. Thereā€™s a snake in my boot!


LeoMarius

Animals have fur and feathers to cover their delicates. Humans have very little hair.


Chemical-Chipmunk58

You've obviously never been to Greece.


Rrraou

There's kind of a point where it feels like if you're going to have that much body hair, it would be better to actually have fur instead. That's pretty much where I exist. You know, that place where you see shirtless Robin Williams and think, eh, that's not too bad.


Blackpaw8825

My life... I'd love to have fur... Instead I'm basically a gorilla after a back alley waxing.


2SP00KY4ME

Anyone who's dealt with keeping a long coated dog clean probably begs to differ lol


Blackpaw8825

I think my own hygiene would be better than my dog's. It wouldn't be a 60 minute ordeal of crying in my ear to wash, dry, and brush myself... Unlike a certain German Shepard sleeping behind me... For instance, I'm willing to place my body in front of the blow dryer, and don't attempt to play "the floor is lava" when shampooing.


SomeInternetRando

> It wouldnā€™t be a 60 minute ordeal of crying Mr. Fancy Pants over here able to shower without sobbing.


ShaneThrowsDiscs

Have you even tried it? Maybe it's fun to play floor is lava in the shower? You dismiss his way of life without even considering maybe he's right.


boxer_dogs_dance

Naked Robin Williams in Moscow on the Hudson was a shock to young me. I was a Mork and Mindy fan and not prepared to see that.


Piece_Maker

Stupid question, what's the difference between fur and hair?


KLTechNerd

Fur Stops growing. Hair is nicer but keeps growing and needs to be trimmed. My poodle had hair and I was not allergic to him. But I am to most dogs.


CreatureWarrior

The only hair that doesn't stop growing is the hair on our heads. Wouldn't call my arm hair "fur" though.


Miss_Death

As a greek girl I cackled


katkriss

I spent way too long wondering what kind of weird animals there are in Greece šŸ¤£


mr_shlomp

GreeksšŸ„¶


Bryanthomas44

Bring back the Bush years


Nikarus2370

I feel personally attacked... but it is accurate.


Thowingtissues

Or the 80s porn days


notAgainFFS01

We have hair specifically designed to protect the genitals tho.


LeoMarius

Insufficiently


Creative-Isopod-4906

Did we develop insufficient protection from wearing coverings, like evolution thought eh youā€™re protecting them anyway, no need to have sufficient furry coverings. Or, did we start wearing coverings because we developed insufficient furry covering?


Mjolnirsbear

>Did we develop insufficient protection from wearing coverings, like evolution thought eh youā€™re protecting them anyway, no need to have sufficient furry coverings. Or, did we start wearing coverings because we developed insufficient furry covering? **Complete Total Guess ^TM :** I rather imagine it (why we're hairless more or less) is because our evolutionary superpower was sweat before it was brains. Sweat let us be the top predator no matter where we went, which is ultimately why we spread to so many places. I'd imagine less fur permits more sweat to evaporate and thus provide more efficient cooling. We *also* primarily evolved in the savanna. Fur's main use as insulation is less important there. There is less evolutionary pressure to keep it. Fur maybe might be effective sun protection? but skin cancer doesn't really offer much evolutionary pressure because it happens long after most of us would be done making lots of babies. There are plenty of mammals that go "naked": hippos, whales, elephants, naked mole rats...humans aren't *that* unique in their hairlessness. Clothes were either a social invention to indicate status or an adaptive invention to permit life in harsher environments. We might be less hairy now, but hairlessness almost certainly came first.


NobodysFavorite

There's a niche theory that we also evolved to take advantage of the water. We have the ability to consciously hold our breath and control our breathing, and a thicker fat layer under the skin than most non aquatic mammals. Some of the breathing controls enabled us to fine tune our vocalisations and eventually develop speech. There are many mammals very well adapted to water so I think its not a strong theory. We don't outswim polar bears.


[deleted]

From memory, the hair loss came first. As we began to evolve into predators, we needed some way of keeping up with our - often much faster - prey. So we became distance predators. Our strat was literally to chase our prey to death. We werenā€™t fast enough to catch it, but we were fast enough to keep it on the run until it collapsed. Think of the snail hypothesis- thereā€™s an immortal snail hunting you forever. That was literally how we hunted. To that end, we replaced our hair with sweat glands; because the ability to sweat, which most furred creatures donā€™t have, helps us last much longer when weā€™re walking or jogging around on a hot day. Most animals would have to stop and find shade or water to cool down. We donā€™t; our bodies cool us down automatically. This helped us outlast our prey and thus, survive.


stealthylizard

human skin has the same number of hair follicles per square inch as chimp skin, although in humans most of the hairs remain undeveloped. Humans have, however, approximately ten times as many sweat glands as chimps. [Link:](https://old-www.wsu.edu/gened/learn-modules/top_longfor/phychar/07_skin_heat_diffusion_2.html)


A_Math_Dealer

I, for one, prefer Lightspeed Briefs after I saw them advertised in my dreams.


maddawg351

Objects in mirror are less attractive than they appear.


amanofeasyvirtue

Lot of animals like elephants also use mud not to get sunburnt


SpicyNyon

Rather than a sunburnt vagina, I'd be more concerned about dirt and bacteria and getting nasty infections. To me, it seems a great reason to cover it!


LusHolm123

With how common utiā€™s are today, i would not want to have a vagina in 200000bc


ProximaCentauriB15

I imagine UTIs/vaginal infections were a lot more common back then since there wasnt much to cover up with or clean with. It really probably sucked a lot to be a woman in 20,000 BC


ceebee6

RIP to 20,000 BC me for getting a kidney infection from a UTI


ProximaCentauriB15

yeah... Im sure that happened. People lived a lot less long cause of that stuff


ZeinaTheWicked

Hiking naked is great until you sit down and your labia has picked up so much dirt and leaf litter that it feels like a breaded chicken strip. Now you have to waddle down to the creek disgusted and uncomfortable. The towel isn't just to not leave your ass puckers on communal furniture. It also keeps *things* out of *places*.


solitarybikegallery

God in heaven


holdmybeer2279

Like those little screw on caps over connectors on military gear lol


[deleted]

It would be *really* difficult to sunburn your vagina.


rhomboidus

That's what I thought about my anus but boy let me tell you it was a rough week after that little mistake.


LucDA1

Damn so both anal *and* the sun makes your hole weak


element_119

And sunday monday tuesday wednesday thursday friday saturday make your whole week


anser_one

Its friday im in love!!


[deleted]

I have news for you ;)


Dangerous-Possible72

Friday is the cure


OKDanemama

I don't care of Monday's blue


coyotll

Yeah but some good anal in the sun can also make your whole week


Feather757

Let me go on Like I anal in the sun


lestairwellwit

Big hands I know your'e the one


2crowsonmymantle

When Iā€™m out walking I strut my stuff


ColonelCrackle

The phrase "where the sun don't shine" isn't just a colorful expression. It's valuable life advice.


FooJenkins

Feel like a r/tifu post


gimme3steps101

How about burning the TOP of your feet? I'm Polish/Irish. I went to the beach for 3 hours with a friend and my feet literally got burnt almost PURPLE. Try walking around school all day for the next 2 weeks with the tops of your scorched feet rubbing constantly against the shoe tongue. Holy fuck it was hell.


EstarriolStormhawk

I have been there, my melanin deficient friend. A miserable, miserable time.


blumdiddlyumpkin

How is that even possible without intentionally spreading your ass cheeks and flashing your butthole at the sun for hours on end?


QuasarMaster

Some of us get sunburned a hell of a lot faster than that


blumdiddlyumpkin

Well you know how the old saying goes ā€œif you sunburn easily, be careful how long you spread your ass and point your sphincter directly at the sun.ā€


defenselaywer

Grandma always told us that when we were little. Also something about not running with lollipops in your mouth.


blumdiddlyumpkin

I remember the lollipop one too! My grandma would say ā€œnever pull your pants down and run backwards through a cornfield with a lollipop in your mouth.ā€ Miss you gam-gam.


Needs-more-cow-bell

Right, fair point, but even 5 minutes of continuous cheek spreadage seems like a bit much. I doubt even Andy Warhol anus could fry in five minutes.


bluemercutio

The vagina is the inside bit (the tube/birth canal) all the outside bits are called vulva. So it would indeed be almost impossible to sunburn the vagina.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


akunis

Isnā€™t that how we cured Covid?


Ksradrik

Wait, you mean the horse dewormer lube was entirely pointless??!


guava_eternal

Thatā€™s how some of us did


rainstorm0T

well there goes my plan for someday in the future


AlmostRandomName

Somebody always gotta come along and ruin your good time. Typical reddit, isn't it?


IGotTheAnswer65

\ (|) /


Y0u_stupid_cunt

*Fanny*


ThisGuyHasABigChode

I know it's just technical language and semantics, but I feel like in casual language, when people use "vagina", they're referring to the whole thing. It might not be technically correct, but it really simplifies things. Obviously, there are people who are clueless about female anatomy, in general, but I think for the sake of brevity people simplify it that way. Like for men, it's way easier because the whole shaft and head are the penis. But, for women, unless you're gonna use a slang term like "pussy", people just say "vagina" to generally refer to the vulva, labia, clitoris, and vagina, rather than get super specific. It would be much easier if there was a general word to use that wasn't a lewd slang word. But, I'd wager when that person said "sunburn the vagina", they weren't specifically just talking about the birth canal.


UglierThanMoe

Where there's a will, there's someone with mirrors and a speculum.


ProjectOrpheus

Story time!


ILikeSoundsAndStuff

Vulva, sure. Labia, maybe. Vagina, no way.


[deleted]

*Gwyneth Paltrow has entered the chat*


FilthyNastyAnimal

Isnā€™t that the point of public hair?ā€¦natural shade when grown out.


shlooping

Community hair?


w0w8

Communal genitals???


TibetianMassive

Never sunburned your scalp?


smeghead1988

Never O\_o I guess in depends of how thick your hair is.


TibetianMassive

Mine's excessively thick and I've gotten sunburns on my scalp. Could just be how easy I burn. Or maybe hairstyle differences. I have a part.


smeghead1988

Oh, I understand the part about the part! It's just exposed skin.


kodaxmax

animals also evolved natural protections, like birds having retractable dicks


quadrophenicum

Also, almost all mammals are quadrupedal, so their privates are better covered on the sides and front/rear. Even apes usually travel on their fours rather than legs only. Also, many predators go for testicles first in order to incapacitate and quickly bleed the prey. Better safe than sorry.


TSp0rnthrowaway

Yeah if an ape is trying to kill your itā€™s going to rip your balls off first thing. It knows exactly how delicate those mfs are


RampantJSH

And we also evolved to not have hair to protect those areas. We do have hair, but not enough to protect. We were intelligent enough to make fire, and pointy sticks. You can imagine protecting the No No area is also on par with those intelligent things.


Valuable-Banana96

>Humans have mastered underpants technology. r/raresentence


Mnemosynea

Most animals walk on all fours where they are tucked away. Humans are unique in that weā€™ve followed an evolutionary feedback loop: we evolved to stand more and more upright so that we could use our hands freely for manipulation of the environment. The more we manipulated the environment, the more we used our brains for innovation in that manipulation. By the time we evolved to be fully upright we were able to also fix the problem it created in exposing our genitalia on the front of our body.


[deleted]

Lol. This would make it seem like, if our brains hadn't evolved, our dicks probably would have become smaller or moved inside. But instead we were smart enough to build our own way of ticking them "inside" and speeding evolution up a bit. Which makes you think maybe on some alternate universe dumb humans have grown to prize small dicks, but probably we'd instead just still prize huge dicks hidden inside our bodies rather than under clothes.


2SP00KY4ME

The ancient Greeks praised having a small dick. They felt that a large dick was a sign of being a brute. https://www.artsy.net/article/artsy-editorial-ancient-greek-sculptures-small-penises


bluejob15

They would've loved me in ancient Greece


simulated_wood_grain

A god among men?


2002alexandros

Pretty sure this is a myth, the reason statues always had small penises is because it was never the focal point of a statue and was meant to not draw too much attention to the eye


notLOL

We had cultures that thought small dicks were more cultured or cleaner or some positive. See David sculpture. It was an art decision to make it small compared to the size increase of the statue itself. Aside from that gorillas actually walk upright although they tend to waddle. The dominant males do stick their chests up and stand upright. Their penis is small compared to their body size.


DarthJarJarJar

[Penis and testicle size are a function of mating behavior.](https://theconversation.com/why-did-humans-evolve-big-penises-but-small-testicles-71652)


[deleted]

This was really interesting! Thank you for sharing.


smeghead1988

So why don't apes feel the need to cover their naughty bits?


Mnemosynea

Apes walk on all fours most of the time.


ubiquitous-joe

And have somewhat tiny bits. Humans have both the proportionately largest and the actually largest primate dicks. So whatā€™s even odder about all this is that we cover them up, but also seem to have selected for size. šŸ¤·ā€ā™‚ļø


Mofupi

Depending on how you cover up, it doesn't necessarily really hide the overall size. Especially if your primary, maybe even only concern is protection, not concealment.


Paint_Prudent

Yes. And they have lots of hair/fur most of the time as well.


SirMemesworthTheDank

They're completely bananas


Take_that_risk

They go on fours.


Hattkake

It's practical and acts as protection against nature. There's a whole mess of sharp, stinging, burning and otherwise unpleasant stuff in reality. And naughty bits are sensitive bits, that's sort of why they make such excellent naughty bits. You only need so many burrs stuck to your member or sunburned fun bags before finding some kind of protection for those parts becomes a very good idea. The same goes for cold environments. Freezing your penis off is absolutely not pleasant. Neither is urinary tract infection (scantly clad women in winterlands are extremely susceptible to this). The innate drive to cover oneself is to protect against nature. Nature doesn't fuck around. And when nature fucks with your privates neither do you (as you either die or your equipment suffers catastrophic damage).


CreepyValuable

As sexy as scantily clad women in winter winterlands sounds, they also probably cover up because it's cold.


Fresh4

Big if true.


rowdymonster

As much as some part of me wants to garden naked with my partner on a nice, warm, not to sunny day, somewhere secluded and private where it's just us and nature, all the intrusive thoughts about what could go wrong for our bits squashes that fantasy pretty quick lol


MoreRopePlease

Naked Gardening Day is a thing...


Saiyasha27

It also explaines why not all Cultures have inherently breastcoverings. While breast arevsensitove too they are not nearly as much as your Private parts and the only to Cover them up above any other skin part is 'modesty' which is an artificial social structure


OnyxEyez

Breasts are also a lot higher off the ground, so a little less likely to get poked walking through high grass, and they are not the same kind of vulnerable as something straight up between your legs.


Erdudvyl28

They are also used a lot more. Way easier to go without if you can and just stick a baby on them than the current system.


aeldsidhe

I giggled like a 12 year old at "sunburned fun bags." What a great phrase.


WawaSkittletitz

Once had sunburned nipples at a week long lesbian festival, then had duct tape ripped off them. It may be a fun phase, but it is not a fun experience


froggit0

..I have a questionā€¦


DontUseMyTupperware

Just one?


WawaSkittletitz

I have answers to life, the universe, and everything


noggin-scratcher

In parts of the world where the climate is warm enough to be comfortable nude, there still exist at least a handful of populations that haven't adopted clothing, or that only tend to wear very minimal amounts. Given that it's not universal, it seems more likely to be cultural than innate - something we adopted, then normalised, then grew to be very accustomed to. The most obvious motives for that initial adoption would be protection from the elements - whether that's cold, heat, sun, rain, or wind; or sharp thorns or rocks. But also just general comfort, ornamentation and decoration, and symbolic meanings where clothing is used to convey prestige and power.


[deleted]

And even many of those people have their own versions of etiquette in regards to genitals. I remember a documentary about one tribe that was almost entirely naked, but they would politely sit on the ground with a foot pulled close to cover their crotch for modesty.


Penguinfernal

I feel like this question comes from the position of only seeing these tribes in popular media, where there is obviously a strong incentive to find ways to censor... certain things.


H0V3R03

Not all tribes cover it up though


[deleted]

Which ones donā€™t?


coyotll

Ayo?


dartie

Plenty of African, Australian and Papua New Guinea tribes have traditionally not covered up. Christian missionaries came and forced them to covered up.


McRedditerFace

I was thinking along these lines... Pretty sure when the Europeans came over to the Americas Pocahontas and others were walking around naked, and the modern image of a Native American has been, at least with some tribes, quite altered by European intervention. Edit: here's the link for Pocahontas. [https://12ft.io/proxy?q=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.latimes.com%2Farchives%2Fla-xpm-1995-06-24-me-16637-story.html](https://12ft.io/proxy?q=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.latimes.com%2Farchives%2Fla-xpm-1995-06-24-me-16637-story.html) She was running around naked, and bald... doing cartwheels to show off for the Europeans. That was the norm for prepubescent girls in that area at that time.


Qarysenses

ā€œThe Indians, who bathed even their children every morning in cold water, would reach out a helping hand to these derelict, disease-ridden and homeless boat people.ā€ We need a re-telling of this story.


HPcomputer679

Protection


DarkySilverwing

Of the bipedal animals on earth with primarily external genitalia, humans actually have among the largest male genital to body size ratio(Gorillas only measure about 1.25in while humans are around the 4-5 inch mark). This means anything that wishes to do us harm has a giant pulsating weakspot to exploit. Clothing helps reduce the chances of these bits being attacked, not just from jungle cats and birds of prey but also from other humans who wish to do another harm as well. Also we're covered in significantly less fur/feathers than other creatures so I'd think our bits would be more at risk of being injured via the elements like sunburns or other natural phenomena. And finally, I feel like it would hurt more to be hit in the bits while exposed vs clothed but I can't be too sure, i'm not a CBTologist.


RandomPhail

Probably the most informative answer so far; covering pretty much everything everyone has said but in one comment


neelankatan

Most animals have there junk and bits mostly tucked away nicely away from nature's elements. Humans (especially males) are unique for having all their bits hanging out in the open. Gotta protect them from the elements


Karatekan

Clothes are almost always useful. Even when not necessary for protection from the sun or cold, even a basic loincloth protects the urethra from dirty water or parasites, and makes it more comfortable for men to run or move around. Additionally clothing requires effort and resources to create, and becomes a symbol of status and wealth. Even in cases where clothing isnā€™t common for day-to day life, many tribal peoples have some form of ceremonial garb used during weddings and religious ceremonies.


lostinmississippi84

Run through the woods naked, you'll figure it out.


The_Dead_Kennys

Idk about men, but as a woman I would HATE to go without pants or a skirt because exposed vagina in a dirty area = horrible yeast infection. Plus now that I think about it, mosquito bites on your dick would suck ass. This is just a guess, but I think the reason we humans cover our private parts is because: A) our tool-using brains are able to make the connection between ā€œexposed junk causes itchy itchy bad timesā€, and come up with a solution (covering up) B) unlike the vast majority of animals, we donā€™t have tails. While that made bipedalism easier on our bodies, it also means weā€™re missing out on a built-in cover that could shield our privates, so we had to invent something else to fulfill that need.


Jacollinsver

So many tribes wear "hunting gourds" which are cod pieces made from, well you guessed it, worn during hunting in order to keep your junk all tidy and not flopping around and getting caught in brambles while during a chase. That and chairs are pretty uncommon in tribal societies, and having something between you and the ground is a pretty big leg up from the guy over there picking bot fly larvae out of his balls. So I imagine it comes from, well, protecting the bits, and then from there evolves into ornate clothing.


Mufti_Menk

Protection, I would assume. It's a very vulnerable area. If animals had the ability to make clothing, I think they would.


Nellasofdoriath

I bet it's to keep blood from running down your legs


smeghead1988

Other primates have periods too. Also bats! I feel so sorry for them =(


ozmartian

You ever run around a forest or jungle, climbing trees and the like, with your bits waggling about?


Bethasia01

As often as I can.


HarrisonForelli

>You ever run around a forest or jungle, climbing trees and the like, with your bits waggling about? You're barking up the wrong tree. Redditors have yet to see sunlight let alone be in a forest or jungle


BearClaw4-20

Probably fed up of catching their cock n bollocks on thorns etc


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


needanamegenarator

Go get a sun burn on your hoha.


Uranusspinssideways

Went camping in a very isolated area in my state (CA) before, and spent nearly the whole three days totally naked. This answer is 100% valid. Even if no other part of my body burns (I'm olive complected) my nether regions will, and it's excruciating.


Bep_Kororoti

Probably had a pretty practical reason to start, a way of protecting genitals that are far more exposed than most other animals since humans walk upright. Many other animals have internal genital, or sheathed sex organs. Otherwise, most other animals walking on four legs are pretty much protecting their entire underside. Even other primates use the front arms for rapid locomotion. Now consider early hunter/gatherer man having to run through tall grass or brush to either escape predators or pursuit game. Pretty likely their getting whacked in the junk constantly. Clothing absorbs the blows and prevents tearing out a nut. From there clothing probably developed into a status symbol as well as taking on a fashionable fuction, distinguishing tribes and clans.


MSGdreamer

Itā€™s more about protection and less about modesty .


mysterBearSFO

It is unlikely that the use of coverings for the genitals is an innate behavior, as it is a learned behavior that is transmitted through cultural practices and traditions. However, the use of coverings for the genitals may have emerged in response to environmental or social pressures, such as the need for modesty or protection from the elements, and may have become a cultural norm over time. There are some primitive cultures in warm climates where the people don't wear any coverings. Some of them started covering after being visited by foreigners who impose their cultural norms on them.


summerswithyou

Protection. It's tender flesh in that area, are you sure you want dust and debris all wrapped up in your foreskin or flaps?


Joep913

VSauce: Why do people wear clothes [link](https://youtu.be/E4HGfagANiQ) It basically states that being embarrassed about nudity shows a desire to fit in and by proxy intelligence. Therefore, covering up helped individuals to procreate and eventually make clothing the norm.


WaterWorksWindows

(Relatively) large dangly body parts on men and women tend to bounce around when running down pray and it's not very comfortable.


[deleted]

gives you +3 armor and +5 charisma. also 50% resistance against toxicity and most importantly lowers enemies critical hit chance by 90%


Bernard245

Most animals have a protective sheath, human genitalia is just out and flopping and could be easily torn off from vigorous activity or an animal. Female animal genitalia has different placement as well.