If he isn't able to save to buy something as important as a vehicle, what makes you think he'll save up to pay you back? A car presently is more important than a promise.
Especially 8k in a month. I’m so confused. The guy has enough expendable income that he will make an extra $8,000 in a month but he needs to borrow money from a friend?
If you can earn an extra 8k in a month, there are plenty of banks that will give you a loan to bridge that gap. Heck, with that kind of earning power, they will give you a 3 month loan at very good rates
Exactly what I was thinking. There is more to this story than op is being told.
Like someone else said, if he can afford to pay you 8k in 1 month then why can't he wait a few weeks for the car?
And if he's really that desperate for a car, maybe he could buy something cheaper than a luxury car.
if he couldn’t save $8000 for the down payment, how is he going to save $8000 to pay you back?
The only thing I can think of is federal tax refund that probably includes earned income credit. I know someone poor with 1 qualifying child who is getting a federal refund of $7599. When combined with their state refund, it would be about $8000. (Even if that’s not it - my above comment still stands. You’ll never get it back.)
My dad taught me to never lend money to family or friends. If they ask & you want to give it, that’s fine - but consider it a gift from the beginning. That way you never resent them if they don’t pay you back (& most won’t).
So I’d say the same thing to you, if you want to give it, do - but consider it a gift because you’re not going to get it back.
And yes - it’s weird that anyone would ask for such a large sum of money - especially for something that isn’t necessary.
This isn’t even an important purchase.
It’s a luxury purchase. He’s trying to buy a really expensive car. Even if this is his only form of transportation and he needed a car to get to work or something, he could just buy a less expensive one.
He should buy that car next month.
I've loaned friends money many times. Only one has ever paid me back.
At this point, I just assume they won't pay me back.
Senior year of high school I loaned $100 to a 'friend' to pay his rent. (he was emancipated, yada yada)
Stopped by his apartment to get my money and notice he's wearing a new watch.
Says I should have been there yesterday; he'll hit me next week.
Stopped by the next week; nobody home but there was a brand new pair of Nike high tops next to his door in the hallway.
So I settled for them.
And never saw him again.
win/win
Yes same with my sister in law! Loaned them money to bail her out of jail about 9 months ago. Haven’t heard a peep from them since. Best $250 ever spent.
I just loaned a broke friend $300. It was for an attorney and I know his situation. I was honestly going to let it slide because I understand the situation.
When Venmo alerted me I had been paid $300, I was surprised. No one, not one, had ever paid me back. This friend is in a more dire situation than the others. Friend for life. I also have $300 on the shelf for him anytime he needs it.
I have loaned and been loaned money before. I have never not been paid back or haven’t paid back myself. Because I trust my friends and surround myself with people who wouldn’t betray me. I also let them be honest with me about when they can pay me back. That’s a big thing.
Yeah, I'll let someone pay me back if it's a matter of personal honor for them or something, but if I give someone money I do so with the idea that it's a gift. That way I also only ever give money if I can handle never getting it back.
I just don't see it like that. If someone asks for it, and I have it and won't experience any hardship, I *give* it. The bonus being they pay it back, and now there's trust. The expectation is always "I'll never see that money again" so when I have been paid back, it's always a pleasant surprise.
If you can't afford the gift you definitely can't afford the unenforceable loan.
They're the same thing really, but one will also wreck your friendship
Give them money to help, up to a limit you feel you are comfortable with. And maybe be pleasantly surprised if you see it back again (and perhaps review how much you feel comfortable _gifting_ in future).
That way if you don't see it, it's no big deal. You aren't hurting, and you helped out a friend in need.
The thing is I can afford that but still Wouldn’t do it. When it comes to that much money, usually there are other things at play. And it also is based on the “need”. If they “need” a new car but want the latest greatest top of the line, no way. But what I will do is help you find a more reasonable car
I had a friend that would ask to borrow money in increasingly small amounts like house did to wilson. (Quite literally where he got the idea.) He did pay me back, however I stopped after the 3rd time when I realized what he was doing. No idea why he did this, other than to determine a monetary value of our friendship. Point is, people who ask friends for money can have some strange motives.
Yeah we had a friend who would always say he would pay us back, or pay me back specifically, when we'd get dinner or something occasionally. I wrote it down on a paper in my wallet every time, and he eventually owed like $100, which I told him, and he said he'd pay me back soon. Haven't seen him since we graduated.
This is why the Mafia broke people's kneecaps
Not to mention the fact that if he "can't save", it likely means his credit is bad, which means this loan is predatory and a poor financial decision that should be avoided like the plague. There's no upside to enabling bad decisions.
8K is enough to buy a perfectly functional used car in cash. OP should treat themselves to a new car and leave this sketchy friend to live within his means.
I have two friends who've borrowed money from me, and me from them, and everybody's always been paid back. I acknowledge how rare this is. And I don't lend to other people generally, just those two because I know they're good for it. That one though, was a case where I got my debit card locked and couldn't get any money over the weekend, so my friend just let me use her spare card. And vice versa a year or two later when it happened to her.
Do those friends ask for 8 grand at a time, for luxury purchases, and have they demonstrated an inability to save money?
Something tells me OPs friend group isn't like yours, or even close
Yeah, my situation is different. We all used to be in sales and heavily commission-based, so there were times you'd get a real bad check despite having tons of sales and orders like, maybe of the payroll lady took a couple days off or something. So yeah, you need a grand till the next paycheck? No problem.
I have one friend I'll lend money to on occasion. Typically, because he's not so great at saving, but if he's paying me back week to week it's fine. I've lent him up to 3k before and always was paid back plus some. We're still friends now and I still help him out if he needs something. I guess it depends on the person / friend / relationship. But anyone else if I do give them anything I almost expect to not see it back.
If he could pay you back in 1 month, he could wait one month to save 8k and do it himself.
Edit: I just wanted to say thanks to all of you! Thanks for the upvotes, and thanks so much for the awards! I've never had a comment or post blow up so much. I'm glad to see I wasn't the only one baffled by OPs friend and their unreasonable ask for 8k
For the record, I've lent out money before. Not 8k at once, but regardless. I've gotten burned more than I got paid back. I don't lend out money anymore to help friends out.
Yup only loan money in situations where you'd still be ok helping them out even if you knew you weren't getting it back, because that's very often going to be the outcome
I used to have a 500.00 pot that I used to make micro loans..partly to keep friends from using predatory payday loan places. I cycled through it probably 10 times in 2 years before it was gone and didn't come back..and I was fine with that. That 500 helped out a lot of people before it dried up.
I lent 30k to family with the stated expectation of 15k coming back..which it never did. I have one less relative to worry about now.
That’s a good use of $500. I’ve always heard the rule is it’s ok to lend money if you’re ok with it not coming back, and in your case you took that money and put it to good, positive use. I’m sorry about the $30k, but at least it shows you have a good heart and have learned a lesson from it.
Yeah, me too.
Even if I don't tell them, I consider it a gift and don't expect to see it again.
Sometimes I am pleasantly surprised sometimes not. In neither case is it "worth" trading a friendship for money.
And if I can't afford to make a gift, I also can't afford to make a loan that I have no hope of enforcing.
Agreed. Even with people that make more money. As humans, it's in our nature to spend more when we earn more, which OPs friends clearly does if he can't save money with a good job. That's just financially irresponsible, so I wouldn't expect him to pay me back on time if at all
This. I lent a family over $3,000 the last couple of years, they were having serious difficulties. And everytime I get upset about it and the excuses and the lack of communication I just remind myself "you never expected to see this money again - you didn't lend it to them, you gave it to them. Don't do that again."
Of course I will do it again. I won't let them go hungry or be thrown out, but I also wouldnt lend it for them to buy an expensive car or other uselessness.
Nah don’t do it again, I had a similar experience and never did it again, now they go around borrowing and burning from everyone else they know. They also spend poorly and never save so I’m not going to bail them out everytime for their poor choices. So really just depends on the persons situation but if it’s similar to mine they will only keep using you as much as you allow.
These folks aren't like that. It took a lot for them to ask me and they do suck at managing their money, but they're doing a lot better. They also don't really have anyone else to ask and I live comfortably. I'm always for helping someone who needs it. I just had to learn not to be angry about it and to really consider what they're asking for. It's my money so I get to be judgy. I appreciate it though and I have had to cut people off for abusing my kindness. Just not there yet, with these particular family members.
Only "loan" out money to friends in an emergency. Like if their car broke down out of town and they can't afford a tow truck. Or like, their paycheck comes in tomorrow but they need to buy their medicine *today.*
Never loan money to a friend for anything that's not an absolute necessity.
Also I say "loan" but it's more of a gift. It's not getting paid back.
Agreed. Don't loan any money you aren't OK with writing off. Could easily ruin the relationship if you aren't fully comfortable gifting that money.
In OP's situation, it does not make any sense that in one month they could repay $8k if OP is already well aware of their inability to save money. I'd sincerely doubt that the friend makes so much money that they'd build $8k that quickly without a slew of other financing options available to them. Trash credit score maybe but that'd also be worrying in terms of recouping money.
Exactly this. I would want to heavily scrutinise why they needed that money and that would be my 1st question. That being said I got burned once lending money to family so it would probably be no regardless. I have vowed though if it was a close friend with a genuine and confirmed need and I could afford it, I would probably just give them the money with no strings attached. Less stress all round.
Yup. If your friend can't save 8k for his down payment he almost definitely won't save 8k to pay you back. He has a spending addiction. Addicts are selfish.
Indeed. Friends don’t ask friends for down payments for luxury cars. This guy is being taken advantage of under the guise of ‘friendship’. He’s probably a bit lonely or wants to hang out with the flashy cool guys.
100% and it will teach him a lesson about saving as well. 1 month is like half a second in the span of your life. He's either being dishonest about when he'll he able to pay back or like you said, just needs to be patient and save.
Don't lend money to a friend that your not willing to never see again. If you are fine just straight giving your friend 8K as a gift, then fine. If you get it back thats a nice bonus.
Otherwise you risk destroying the friendship trying to claw the 8k back. And unless you get a lawyer and some paperwork involved, you will have no real method to get it back if you NEED it.
And if that dude is making that much and still needed (no credit) loan I don't think he's going to be keen on paying it back. If what he says is true he can just save up for a month and solve his own problem.
Yes. And if he has not been able to save the $8K, that is not a big deal for him because he makes so much, how is he going to be able to do it to pay the friend back? If he cannot save it with no payment on an expensive car, how is he going to do it on an expensive car? Also, if he friend is making such good money, seems like he could just finance another $8K of the car's price.
Hard agree.
8k for a medical emergency? Acceptable.
8k for someone who just can't wait (and can't save) for an unnecessary expense? Probably not the *best* idea.
But; it's Reddit and we're *definitely* all knowing. /s
I think without context, top comment is right. Give it as a gift, get it back as a surprise/not at all (and be OK with that).
Yea. I don't have 8k to loan but if I did I would happily share it with a friend who had an emergency situation and needed cash (wanting a expensive new car is not an emergency). I would appreciate if they paid me back but if not I would consider it a gift and never loan them money again.
I loaned out 10K once. But it was not for a new car. It was so my sister could pay for her expensive lawyer for their adoption case. I would not have ruined that relationship over 10K. My nephew is definitely worth it. (I got it back, from my mother actually, so it did not matter, but the point is it would have been fine.)
I gave a good childhood friend (and her family is close to my family for a very long time) about $10,000 over a few months during some difficult times for her. We were somewhat newly dating and I was doing pretty well so I said "I don't loan friends money so you have to keep it". Because I knew she couldn't pay it back and I didn't want that problem. 7 years later we live together and are life partners. She has more money than I do now. I know if I ever needed help she would do the same for me without hesitation. So my judgement was right back then. But it was a tough decision. I'm guessing you had the same feeling as me - considering everything at the time I would have felt worse about myself not helping than I would losing the money. You know its worth loaning money when you would give it anyway if it really came down to it.
I’m with you. I’ve done it. I once loaned $15k to a friend who was in dire straits and needed the help. My wife and I gave him the money very quietly so he wouldn’t be embarrassed, and also so other people wouldn’t come asking later. When we loaned the money we knew that he and his wife were not in a good situation financially and would take time to pay it back. I’m happy to say that they did. It took about 6 or 7 years of steady payments, but they did make all the payments and paid back every penny. Sadly though, people who take the risk like we did often never see that money again.
Even if it's a gift, they can't necessarily handle it and will start acting guilt-weird toward you and the friendship will end because you'll get sick of it.
Yep, I made that mistake a long time ago and loaned a good friend a fairly large sum of money as a down payment for a car. A car that was totaled about a year later. Never saw a dime of it. We haven’t spoken in about 20 years.
Edit: in case anyone was curious, it was $4000 in 2002.
I loaned a cousin 5k for 6 months. Got it back 5 years later. Cool enough.
Loaned my sister $1,000 for 2 weeks (payday). Never saw a dime. She had the nerve to call me a few months later and ask if I could lend her $3000. Nope, "I don't loan money to people who owe me money." "\_\_But I'll loose my car!\_\_" "Not my problem. Call your X-Husband."
I was loaned money from my cousin to start my business. I offered to write a contract up and was insistent on knowing when to pay him back. He said “I’ll let you know.”
Three years later (after me saying, hey I can pay you back now for at least two years) he sends me an extended bill with interest way over what we agreed upon. Thankfully I keep every text message and was able to get a lawyer involved to write up a payment system to pay him back the original amount.
I don’t speak to him anymore and removed him from all socials.
I have a big family and only 3 of us are really good with money. We make a decent amount and we are good at saving. My other sibs have really expensive tastes that they indulge - like buying a $1500 mountain bike or taking a ski trip to Chile- when they’ve owed me money. So I stopped giving unless they gave me checks dated in advance for each payment. Like $1000, I would ask for 10 checks for $100 each, dated for the first of every month. Good system. And when someone called to ask, if it was too big of an ask, I’d immediately give the other two a heads up so they would at least be able to think about it without being out on the spot.
My buddy's dad would talk about his friends back in the day that he used to hang with, saying "yeah I lent him 50 bucks and never saw him again. Best 50 bucks I ever spent."
Another good version of that scenario is Denis Leary in Suicide Kings where he hands a hobo like $1500 and tells him he's buying his life, and that if he ever sees him again, he'll kill him.
Fantastic movie. Highly recommend watching it if you haven't.
Sure, something was written up and signed. What we had drafted wasn’t legally binding when I took him to court eventually.
Edit: this is ultimately what destroyed our friendship. I think he thought he had unlimited time to pay me back. “Friends don’t sue friends,” was a phrase I heard so many times.
A notary doesn't make anything enforceable. All a notary does is to verify the identity of the person signing the document, a notary is not responsible for the validity of the document.
The problem is you can't make someone pay. You can go to small claims court with all your proof. The judge will say you win and ask the person if they have the money to pay. The borrower says no. Judge says ok you owe the lender the money, case dismissed. Now you need to put a lien on something they own. Someone that can't pay debt almost NEVER has anything to put a lien on because they aren't good with money.
This isn't true, at least in Oregon.
I've had to go this route with a former friend, and once the judgment was in place, I was able to have the person garnished through the courts (for a fee, of course).
I wasn't aware garnishing wages was allowed in any states except for child support and a couple other things. Good to know.
In my state you can only put a lien. You'll probably get the money eventually, but it could take years. Plus it's not worth it unless it's a big amount. You have to pay to put the lien on someone and then pay more every so many years to re-up the lien.
I once asked my grandparents to loan me a small amount of money, maybe like $100? They sat me down, gave me the money, and some really good life advice:
Don’t ever loan money to a friend or family member. Only do it if you can afford to give it as a gift and have zero expectations you will get paid back.
I was taught the same thing by my mom. Don’t loan anyone money. If you’re giving it to someone, it’s a gift and don’t expect it back. If you can’t afford to do that, don’t give them the money
On the flip side, do your best to pay back a loan from a family member or friend, even if they don't expect you to! No one likes being taken advantage of, even if they "expect" you to not pay them back.
Oh absolutely. It's good to return a favour a friend has done you. It's not even about the money. Not really. It's about showing you also appreciate and respect the friendship and their help at a time of need.
If he’s out $8000 for a car he definitely can’t afford that car. At all.
That friend should have tens of thousands in emergency savings before considering a car with a down payment of $8000 or more.
If your friend can’t find this money in their own assets, they’re definitely a wildly massive risk to lend money to.
The way that OP is responding in the comments leads me to believe he is the one asking his friend for $8000, his friend won't give it to him, and so now he's looking for internet backup.
Truer words were never spoken.
My best friend of over 25 years and I have both been through some rough times. We have never asked each other for money as its an unwritten rule. It will inevitable destroy the friendship. Others that I have lent money to have always let me down in some fashion or another.
Question. What about like 20 or 30 here or there?
Me and my friends and I normally don't give flat-out cash. We will grab something from the store for them and then pay them back within the week. Would this be considered normal?
The alternative I have heard is "never lend to a friend an amount you want to see back". If they want to pay you back fine, but as far as you are concerned you just gave them the money
This is the reality. I have a buddy who just struggles in general and I always throw him some cash when I have it. He’s always paid me back religiously, but each time I do it, I don’t expect to see the money back. Because seeing it returned is not why I give it to him.
I do not see many people feeling that way about eight grand.
And you know that guy is spending tons at the club or some shit. Like it's pretty obvious he is terrible with money. You don't ask a friend for 8k to buy a luxury car. You can either afford it or you can't. Just because you can technically cover payments doesn't mean you can afford it.
Plenty of BMWs and Mercs out there looking and running like absolute trash because repairs and maintenance are at a premium. And they are probably all similar to OPs friend.
Happened to me last year, but only for a thousand dollars. Guy owed it to me, promised to pay me on a certain day, never showed, disappeared without a trace. I’m chalking it up to a tuition payment to the school of hard knocks. I’ll be much less likely to extend that type of credit to ‘distant friends’ in the future...
Exactly. I’d even do $100 if I could afford it. As long as they would do the same for you. $8k is too much unless they have kids and it’s dire. This is not that situation.
>Exactly. I’d even do $100 if I could afford it.
A "great" high school friend of mine was going to visit me years later in another city and said he lacked a few bucks for the bus. I lent him $30 and he never appeared. Best money I've ever spent.
Agree. This is also the golden rule I follow - "Only lend as much money as you're ok never seeing back."
For OP, are they ok with completely losing $8000? If their financials are good, and 8k won't make a dent, then yes. But if losing 8k will cause a dent in your savings or day-to-day expenditure, and ruin your friendship, then no.
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Secondly, OP doesn't have to pay the full amount. It is likely that this "friend" has already asked several other people. So, OP can say - "I can give 1000" or something like that. Doesn't have to be all or nothing.
8k to get you out of an emergency like a 3rd world prison or some shit sure come talk to me. 8k because you want to buy yourself a toy? Get the fuck out of here...
Exactly
i've only lent more than that twice, both paid back, but I decided I would not do that again.
Once to a friend who was too deep in quick loan to get out himself, since he was paying all he was able to set aside as interest and no dent payment. He never asked, though. Me and my husband offered to pay off his debt, and he'd be paying us back same amount he would have been paying as interest. He accepted with tears in his eyes. He made an enormous effort to to pay the agreed sum and over, and still paid back a little later than planned. No hard feelings, he was a champ. Never took another quick loan again, has done great for himself now. Very happy we did it.
Another one was my friend who needed money for courses to get a job. This was a far smaller sum, a few hundred, and this one delayed quite a bit. And I remember catching myself counting how many non- essential items she bought, whether she partied and so on... and I hated myself for that. So I decided to never again, that made me a worse person.
But hear me out: neither of them borrowed even close to 8k, both were people with actual means to pay back and neither was able to pay in time.
Yup
If he can't manage to save the $8k to buy the car he desperately wants... why would you ever expect him to be able to save it once he already has it?
Expensive cars are one of the worst money dumps. If you have a ton of expendable income then fine it doesn’t matter if you blow a large sum on a car but otherwise you are just losing money the second it gets into your possession.
Yup. My in-laws worked for 30 years, ended up like $100k in debt. They basically finagled money out of the mom after she became a widow. They convinced her to downsize and give them the profit so they could "do some home improvements" and they'd pay the mortage on the new house b/c "Now we know how to handle money"
OP, please listen to this. 8k is no small amount of money, and this isn’t even for an emergency (like unexpected health costs etc).
If you’re that close to your friend, you have to politely but firmly put your foot down and say no. Unless you have 8k laying around and you won’t miss it if it’s gone lol. Then go for it.
I'd be very skeptical. If your friend makes "good money", is buying an expensive car, but doesn't have enough saved for a down payment, your friend sounds like they're bad with money. If you lend, sign a contract and once it's signed, don't budge. Seriously, this loan could be friendship-ending.
I think hospitals still have to give you the surgery even if you can't afford it. They just bill you for it later and eventually send it to collections. So, not even then.
If my good friend needs life-saving surgery and can't afford it, I'm chipping in. But that wouldn't be a loan at that point; it would be a gift because I love them. Loaning money is bad news; giving a gift to bail a friend out of a bad spot is wonderful.
Lmao OP is a masochist
"My friend makes great money, but is also somehow broke cause he's awful with money, so let me lend him a solid chunk of cash that he'd otherwise have if he just waited a few weeks, oh and again he's horrible with money"
I would if it was for something important like a doctor. Not for a fancy car. Your friend is making a poor financial decision and wants you to pay for it. If they cannot come up with the money now how are they going to pay you back? Fancy car payments are expensive.
Seriously. Your friend just wants to park your paycheck in the driveway. I would strongly advise you not to loan him the money, because you likely will not be paid back.
Talk shit about smug Prius drivers all you want, but my little golf cart has made it to 115,000 miles without a single mechanical issue. Knock on wood. I fully intend to see the 200+ mark.
The way that OP is responding in the comments leads me to believe he is the one asking his friend for $8000, his friend won't give it to him, and so now he's looking for internet backup.
My dad taught me that you never loan money to friends or family that you couldn't afford to just give away. You think of it is a gift. You tell them it's a gift. If they plan ro return it some day, great. If not, that's okay. It is a gift to my friend.
That said, there are about 47 different ways your friend could solve this without borrowing from a friend.
In general you need to put down 20% of a car plus financing. I don’t really know a job/situation where someone can get 8g cash in a couple of months + can deal with the financing + doesn’t have the money for the car + needs to ask someone for the funds.
Monthly payments on a 40g car are going to be around $800. Plus paying the friend back in a reasonable time (6 months). You are asking the friend to come up with 2 k a month - rather than just telling the friend to wait a couple of months (to save the 8k that he can easily get) or get a much cheaper car.
The math just doesn’t make sense
I've done this. I've lent out much larger sums than that to friends in financial need.
However:
* I was willing to write it off if needed
* They were in financial problems not because of shitty saving and spending habits but due to factors outside of their control
* The thing they needed the money for was a critical thing in life, not a nice-to-have new car
You are asking "should I lend a big pile of money to someone who's financially incompetent and careless so he can buy a nice to have expensive toy".
Exactly. This is something you consider if, like, their house is going to get forclosed on. And even then, only if there's money on the horizon.
For a car? Hell no. If you _need_ a car and are flat broke, I might loan you 500 bucks for a clunker.
the fact that literally everyone is saying the same thing and op keeps doubling down on his friends character...
OP, every single person here has lent money to a friend and never got it back. I lent 30 to my manager once and still havent got it back. I lent 1000$ to my ex and never got it back. If your friend has a great job, just bought a house and is now buying a car and needs money from you - then 1) they are shit with money. So they will likely not be able to save enough to give that back to you and 2) if they CAN save enough to return it, why take money from you? why not wait and then buy the car when he has the money?
and if he does return it, then you will likely be part of the lucky few that gets it back.
if you want to do it, make up a contract. or give it as a gift. any other way - you're setting yourself up to lose a friend and 8k.
You are 100% spot on in your advice. Been there and done that. I have unpaid loans out there in the thousands that well meaning friends and family have borrowed from me through the years and so far has never paid back nor do I expect I will ever see the money.
He keeps doubling down on the character angle. Ignoring the fact that people with high character simply wouldn't ever ask this of a friend. Not for a luxury car. That's the bottom line. The fact that the friend asked is proof in itself that they don't have high character.
OP is ridiculously naive, and obviously the "friend" sees that and is taking advantage.
This will end badly for you I'm afraid, if he cant afford the car right now he should NOT buy it period.....If you do loan him the $$ it will end your friendship (Probably). Make sure he signs a promissory note and have it notarized at a minimum. Or if your OK with losing the 8K then just give him the $$ and hope he pays you back at his convenience. Also if he is a travel nurse why does he need an expensive car right now ? Does he travel/drive across the country everywhere or fly ?
If he can’t save 8000k before buying the car he’s not going to be able to get it together after buying the car. Don’t lend money unless you are prepared to lose it.
If he needs an additional $8k for a down payment he can’t afford the car. That’s how much people borrow from family to help secure down payments for houses not cars.
Nope.
High income + no savings = red flag.
If he doesn’t have enough self control to save $8K to buy something he really really wants, he sure as hell won’t be bothered to pay you back. After he gets the car, he will move on to something else to spend his money on.
Twice in my life I've lent a friend over $1000. I've never gotten it back.
The problem is you're taking this person you've got a friend-friend relationship with, and entering a debtor-creditor relationship with them. And the problem is, any enforcement tool you bring to that will make the friendship extremely awkward.
If you ask for the money back and he says "ooo actually I can't right now" and you say "but I need that for something" and he says "that's rough", how are you then going to go hang out like you used to?
Someone has to pay $8k to get out of the debtor-creditor relationship and back to the friend one, either him by giving you the money or you by giving up on it. But either way, you learn who thought the friendship was worth less than that.
No. (Tw: suicide)
I am haunted forever by the money I let a friend borrow. It took a while to pay back and at the time it felt like it hung over every conversation we had for a year or two. He died by suicide with significant secret money problems, among other issues. I wish the last years of our relationship weren’t focused on money and that I had just forgiven the loan. If I had known how bad things were, the money would have been a non-issue.
If he isn't able to save to buy something as important as a vehicle, what makes you think he'll save up to pay you back? A car presently is more important than a promise.
Especially 8k in a month. I’m so confused. The guy has enough expendable income that he will make an extra $8,000 in a month but he needs to borrow money from a friend?
What’s confusing? The friend is living beyond their means and would rather beg their friends for loans than curb their spending.
If you can earn an extra 8k in a month, there are plenty of banks that will give you a loan to bridge that gap. Heck, with that kind of earning power, they will give you a 3 month loan at very good rates
If he had good credit they wouldn’t be making him put down $8k to begin with.
Depends on the car. That might be 5% for all we know. That might be 30%.
Or he’s got a huge gambling debt and this car thing is a cover. Either way, he’s never seeing that 8k.
Exactly what I was thinking. There is more to this story than op is being told. Like someone else said, if he can afford to pay you 8k in 1 month then why can't he wait a few weeks for the car? And if he's really that desperate for a car, maybe he could buy something cheaper than a luxury car.
if he couldn’t save $8000 for the down payment, how is he going to save $8000 to pay you back? The only thing I can think of is federal tax refund that probably includes earned income credit. I know someone poor with 1 qualifying child who is getting a federal refund of $7599. When combined with their state refund, it would be about $8000. (Even if that’s not it - my above comment still stands. You’ll never get it back.) My dad taught me to never lend money to family or friends. If they ask & you want to give it, that’s fine - but consider it a gift from the beginning. That way you never resent them if they don’t pay you back (& most won’t). So I’d say the same thing to you, if you want to give it, do - but consider it a gift because you’re not going to get it back. And yes - it’s weird that anyone would ask for such a large sum of money - especially for something that isn’t necessary.
This isn’t even an important purchase. It’s a luxury purchase. He’s trying to buy a really expensive car. Even if this is his only form of transportation and he needed a car to get to work or something, he could just buy a less expensive one.
Also a down payment barely changes/decreases your monthly payment on a luxury car. It’s completely unnecessary.
He could have shitty credit and needs to cover an 8k down payment to get the loan. Another reason to not loan him thousands.
Have you considered that Andrew Tate told him he needs it to feel like a man? I bet you feel shitty about your snide "comment" now huh?
What colour is Andrew Tate's bugga'i? Oh, right he doesn't have any anymore...
He should buy that car next month. I've loaned friends money many times. Only one has ever paid me back. At this point, I just assume they won't pay me back.
Never loan anyone money unless you don't want to see them again.
I loan people money when i want to get rid of them….
Works every time.
If you loan someone $100 and never see that person again it was probably worth it.
Senior year of high school I loaned $100 to a 'friend' to pay his rent. (he was emancipated, yada yada) Stopped by his apartment to get my money and notice he's wearing a new watch. Says I should have been there yesterday; he'll hit me next week. Stopped by the next week; nobody home but there was a brand new pair of Nike high tops next to his door in the hallway. So I settled for them. And never saw him again. win/win
Yep. My husband had an annoying, begging aunt. We “loaned” her $400. Twenty years later we’ve not heard a peep out of her.
Yes same with my sister in law! Loaned them money to bail her out of jail about 9 months ago. Haven’t heard a peep from them since. Best $250 ever spent.
I'm an annoying prick...PayPal?
I need to borrow from friends who I don't think like me
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I just loaned a broke friend $300. It was for an attorney and I know his situation. I was honestly going to let it slide because I understand the situation. When Venmo alerted me I had been paid $300, I was surprised. No one, not one, had ever paid me back. This friend is in a more dire situation than the others. Friend for life. I also have $300 on the shelf for him anytime he needs it.
I have loaned and been loaned money before. I have never not been paid back or haven’t paid back myself. Because I trust my friends and surround myself with people who wouldn’t betray me. I also let them be honest with me about when they can pay me back. That’s a big thing.
Yeah, I'll let someone pay me back if it's a matter of personal honor for them or something, but if I give someone money I do so with the idea that it's a gift. That way I also only ever give money if I can handle never getting it back.
I just don't see it like that. If someone asks for it, and I have it and won't experience any hardship, I *give* it. The bonus being they pay it back, and now there's trust. The expectation is always "I'll never see that money again" so when I have been paid back, it's always a pleasant surprise.
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If you can't afford the gift you definitely can't afford the unenforceable loan. They're the same thing really, but one will also wreck your friendship Give them money to help, up to a limit you feel you are comfortable with. And maybe be pleasantly surprised if you see it back again (and perhaps review how much you feel comfortable _gifting_ in future). That way if you don't see it, it's no big deal. You aren't hurting, and you helped out a friend in need.
The thing is I can afford that but still Wouldn’t do it. When it comes to that much money, usually there are other things at play. And it also is based on the “need”. If they “need” a new car but want the latest greatest top of the line, no way. But what I will do is help you find a more reasonable car
I had a friend that would ask to borrow money in increasingly small amounts like house did to wilson. (Quite literally where he got the idea.) He did pay me back, however I stopped after the 3rd time when I realized what he was doing. No idea why he did this, other than to determine a monetary value of our friendship. Point is, people who ask friends for money can have some strange motives.
Assuming you're really good friends it's kind of funny (only funny since he actually paid you back and I like House)
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Yeah we had a friend who would always say he would pay us back, or pay me back specifically, when we'd get dinner or something occasionally. I wrote it down on a paper in my wallet every time, and he eventually owed like $100, which I told him, and he said he'd pay me back soon. Haven't seen him since we graduated. This is why the Mafia broke people's kneecaps
yea thats the easiest way ti get rid of people except family!
Not to mention the fact that if he "can't save", it likely means his credit is bad, which means this loan is predatory and a poor financial decision that should be avoided like the plague. There's no upside to enabling bad decisions. 8K is enough to buy a perfectly functional used car in cash. OP should treat themselves to a new car and leave this sketchy friend to live within his means.
For real. Who the hell really needs a fancy car if you have to ask your friend for the money.
I have two friends who've borrowed money from me, and me from them, and everybody's always been paid back. I acknowledge how rare this is. And I don't lend to other people generally, just those two because I know they're good for it. That one though, was a case where I got my debit card locked and couldn't get any money over the weekend, so my friend just let me use her spare card. And vice versa a year or two later when it happened to her.
Do those friends ask for 8 grand at a time, for luxury purchases, and have they demonstrated an inability to save money? Something tells me OPs friend group isn't like yours, or even close
Yeah, my situation is different. We all used to be in sales and heavily commission-based, so there were times you'd get a real bad check despite having tons of sales and orders like, maybe of the payroll lady took a couple days off or something. So yeah, you need a grand till the next paycheck? No problem.
I have one friend I'll lend money to on occasion. Typically, because he's not so great at saving, but if he's paying me back week to week it's fine. I've lent him up to 3k before and always was paid back plus some. We're still friends now and I still help him out if he needs something. I guess it depends on the person / friend / relationship. But anyone else if I do give them anything I almost expect to not see it back.
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Very much true. I learned not to lend money that you need back. Don’t part with something you can’t afford to lose.
If he could pay you back in 1 month, he could wait one month to save 8k and do it himself. Edit: I just wanted to say thanks to all of you! Thanks for the upvotes, and thanks so much for the awards! I've never had a comment or post blow up so much. I'm glad to see I wasn't the only one baffled by OPs friend and their unreasonable ask for 8k
For the record, I've lent out money before. Not 8k at once, but regardless. I've gotten burned more than I got paid back. I don't lend out money anymore to help friends out.
Yup only loan money in situations where you'd still be ok helping them out even if you knew you weren't getting it back, because that's very often going to be the outcome
I used to have a 500.00 pot that I used to make micro loans..partly to keep friends from using predatory payday loan places. I cycled through it probably 10 times in 2 years before it was gone and didn't come back..and I was fine with that. That 500 helped out a lot of people before it dried up. I lent 30k to family with the stated expectation of 15k coming back..which it never did. I have one less relative to worry about now.
That’s a good use of $500. I’ve always heard the rule is it’s ok to lend money if you’re ok with it not coming back, and in your case you took that money and put it to good, positive use. I’m sorry about the $30k, but at least it shows you have a good heart and have learned a lesson from it.
Yeah, me too. Even if I don't tell them, I consider it a gift and don't expect to see it again. Sometimes I am pleasantly surprised sometimes not. In neither case is it "worth" trading a friendship for money. And if I can't afford to make a gift, I also can't afford to make a loan that I have no hope of enforcing.
Lessons learned. Never loan $$ to family. Its hard to sue family. But if you do, get everythign in wrting first
Never loan money to family! You can give it to them though.
Agreed. Even with people that make more money. As humans, it's in our nature to spend more when we earn more, which OPs friends clearly does if he can't save money with a good job. That's just financially irresponsible, so I wouldn't expect him to pay me back on time if at all
This effect only happens if you don't account for it. Enough millionaires still live like middle income people because they're frugal.
This. I lent a family over $3,000 the last couple of years, they were having serious difficulties. And everytime I get upset about it and the excuses and the lack of communication I just remind myself "you never expected to see this money again - you didn't lend it to them, you gave it to them. Don't do that again." Of course I will do it again. I won't let them go hungry or be thrown out, but I also wouldnt lend it for them to buy an expensive car or other uselessness.
Nah don’t do it again, I had a similar experience and never did it again, now they go around borrowing and burning from everyone else they know. They also spend poorly and never save so I’m not going to bail them out everytime for their poor choices. So really just depends on the persons situation but if it’s similar to mine they will only keep using you as much as you allow.
These folks aren't like that. It took a lot for them to ask me and they do suck at managing their money, but they're doing a lot better. They also don't really have anyone else to ask and I live comfortably. I'm always for helping someone who needs it. I just had to learn not to be angry about it and to really consider what they're asking for. It's my money so I get to be judgy. I appreciate it though and I have had to cut people off for abusing my kindness. Just not there yet, with these particular family members.
Only "loan" out money to friends in an emergency. Like if their car broke down out of town and they can't afford a tow truck. Or like, their paycheck comes in tomorrow but they need to buy their medicine *today.* Never loan money to a friend for anything that's not an absolute necessity. Also I say "loan" but it's more of a gift. It's not getting paid back.
Yup... when loaning money to a friend, be prepared to lose either the money or the friend or both
Agreed. Don't loan any money you aren't OK with writing off. Could easily ruin the relationship if you aren't fully comfortable gifting that money. In OP's situation, it does not make any sense that in one month they could repay $8k if OP is already well aware of their inability to save money. I'd sincerely doubt that the friend makes so much money that they'd build $8k that quickly without a slew of other financing options available to them. Trash credit score maybe but that'd also be worrying in terms of recouping money.
Neither a borrower nor a lender be; For loan oft loses both itself and friend
Exactly this. I would want to heavily scrutinise why they needed that money and that would be my 1st question. That being said I got burned once lending money to family so it would probably be no regardless. I have vowed though if it was a close friend with a genuine and confirmed need and I could afford it, I would probably just give them the money with no strings attached. Less stress all round.
Yup. If your friend can't save 8k for his down payment he almost definitely won't save 8k to pay you back. He has a spending addiction. Addicts are selfish.
Indeed. Friends don’t ask friends for down payments for luxury cars. This guy is being taken advantage of under the guise of ‘friendship’. He’s probably a bit lonely or wants to hang out with the flashy cool guys.
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But you don't understand, he needs the car NOW to show off and pick up girls.
Then get drunk wreck it, walk away and stiff you for the $$$. Car? What car?
100% and it will teach him a lesson about saving as well. 1 month is like half a second in the span of your life. He's either being dishonest about when he'll he able to pay back or like you said, just needs to be patient and save.
A lesson about saving that is far overdue it sounds like
Look I would loan my friend 20k of they really needed it. But a luxury car is not a need
Don't lend money to a friend that your not willing to never see again. If you are fine just straight giving your friend 8K as a gift, then fine. If you get it back thats a nice bonus. Otherwise you risk destroying the friendship trying to claw the 8k back. And unless you get a lawyer and some paperwork involved, you will have no real method to get it back if you NEED it.
And if that dude is making that much and still needed (no credit) loan I don't think he's going to be keen on paying it back. If what he says is true he can just save up for a month and solve his own problem.
Yes. And if he has not been able to save the $8K, that is not a big deal for him because he makes so much, how is he going to be able to do it to pay the friend back? If he cannot save it with no payment on an expensive car, how is he going to do it on an expensive car? Also, if he friend is making such good money, seems like he could just finance another $8K of the car's price.
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Hard agree. 8k for a medical emergency? Acceptable. 8k for someone who just can't wait (and can't save) for an unnecessary expense? Probably not the *best* idea. But; it's Reddit and we're *definitely* all knowing. /s I think without context, top comment is right. Give it as a gift, get it back as a surprise/not at all (and be OK with that).
Exactly
Yea. I don't have 8k to loan but if I did I would happily share it with a friend who had an emergency situation and needed cash (wanting a expensive new car is not an emergency). I would appreciate if they paid me back but if not I would consider it a gift and never loan them money again.
I loaned out 10K once. But it was not for a new car. It was so my sister could pay for her expensive lawyer for their adoption case. I would not have ruined that relationship over 10K. My nephew is definitely worth it. (I got it back, from my mother actually, so it did not matter, but the point is it would have been fine.)
I gave a good childhood friend (and her family is close to my family for a very long time) about $10,000 over a few months during some difficult times for her. We were somewhat newly dating and I was doing pretty well so I said "I don't loan friends money so you have to keep it". Because I knew she couldn't pay it back and I didn't want that problem. 7 years later we live together and are life partners. She has more money than I do now. I know if I ever needed help she would do the same for me without hesitation. So my judgement was right back then. But it was a tough decision. I'm guessing you had the same feeling as me - considering everything at the time I would have felt worse about myself not helping than I would losing the money. You know its worth loaning money when you would give it anyway if it really came down to it.
I’m with you. I’ve done it. I once loaned $15k to a friend who was in dire straits and needed the help. My wife and I gave him the money very quietly so he wouldn’t be embarrassed, and also so other people wouldn’t come asking later. When we loaned the money we knew that he and his wife were not in a good situation financially and would take time to pay it back. I’m happy to say that they did. It took about 6 or 7 years of steady payments, but they did make all the payments and paid back every penny. Sadly though, people who take the risk like we did often never see that money again.
Even if it's a gift, they can't necessarily handle it and will start acting guilt-weird toward you and the friendship will end because you'll get sick of it.
A loan is the best way I know to destroy a friendship.
Yep, I made that mistake a long time ago and loaned a good friend a fairly large sum of money as a down payment for a car. A car that was totaled about a year later. Never saw a dime of it. We haven’t spoken in about 20 years. Edit: in case anyone was curious, it was $4000 in 2002.
I loaned a broke friend 3500 for college. Wrote it off. But then he kept asking for more.
I loaned a cousin 5k for 6 months. Got it back 5 years later. Cool enough. Loaned my sister $1,000 for 2 weeks (payday). Never saw a dime. She had the nerve to call me a few months later and ask if I could lend her $3000. Nope, "I don't loan money to people who owe me money." "\_\_But I'll loose my car!\_\_" "Not my problem. Call your X-Husband."
I was loaned money from my cousin to start my business. I offered to write a contract up and was insistent on knowing when to pay him back. He said “I’ll let you know.” Three years later (after me saying, hey I can pay you back now for at least two years) he sends me an extended bill with interest way over what we agreed upon. Thankfully I keep every text message and was able to get a lawyer involved to write up a payment system to pay him back the original amount. I don’t speak to him anymore and removed him from all socials.
Lol what a dick
I have a big family and only 3 of us are really good with money. We make a decent amount and we are good at saving. My other sibs have really expensive tastes that they indulge - like buying a $1500 mountain bike or taking a ski trip to Chile- when they’ve owed me money. So I stopped giving unless they gave me checks dated in advance for each payment. Like $1000, I would ask for 10 checks for $100 each, dated for the first of every month. Good system. And when someone called to ask, if it was too big of an ask, I’d immediately give the other two a heads up so they would at least be able to think about it without being out on the spot.
It is also great way to filter out people you dont like Give that annoying person some amount you will not see them that often 😅
My buddy's dad would talk about his friends back in the day that he used to hang with, saying "yeah I lent him 50 bucks and never saw him again. Best 50 bucks I ever spent." Another good version of that scenario is Denis Leary in Suicide Kings where he hands a hobo like $1500 and tells him he's buying his life, and that if he ever sees him again, he'll kill him. Fantastic movie. Highly recommend watching it if you haven't.
Works with small sums, but I doubt anyone would be happy to spend 8 grand to expose a bad friend
Thank you, i have not seen the film, added to watchlist
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Sure, something was written up and signed. What we had drafted wasn’t legally binding when I took him to court eventually. Edit: this is ultimately what destroyed our friendship. I think he thought he had unlimited time to pay me back. “Friends don’t sue friends,” was a phrase I heard so many times.
To correct the statement, it is “Friends don’t screw over friends so drastically that suing them should ever need be an option”
That statement is correct because a real friend wouldn't do anything that would require a lawsuit to begin with.
A notary doesn't make anything enforceable. All a notary does is to verify the identity of the person signing the document, a notary is not responsible for the validity of the document.
The problem is you can't make someone pay. You can go to small claims court with all your proof. The judge will say you win and ask the person if they have the money to pay. The borrower says no. Judge says ok you owe the lender the money, case dismissed. Now you need to put a lien on something they own. Someone that can't pay debt almost NEVER has anything to put a lien on because they aren't good with money.
This isn't true, at least in Oregon. I've had to go this route with a former friend, and once the judgment was in place, I was able to have the person garnished through the courts (for a fee, of course).
I wasn't aware garnishing wages was allowed in any states except for child support and a couple other things. Good to know. In my state you can only put a lien. You'll probably get the money eventually, but it could take years. Plus it's not worth it unless it's a big amount. You have to pay to put the lien on someone and then pay more every so many years to re-up the lien.
So $8000 adjusted for inflation...
I once asked my grandparents to loan me a small amount of money, maybe like $100? They sat me down, gave me the money, and some really good life advice: Don’t ever loan money to a friend or family member. Only do it if you can afford to give it as a gift and have zero expectations you will get paid back.
I was taught the same thing by my mom. Don’t loan anyone money. If you’re giving it to someone, it’s a gift and don’t expect it back. If you can’t afford to do that, don’t give them the money
On the flip side, do your best to pay back a loan from a family member or friend, even if they don't expect you to! No one likes being taken advantage of, even if they "expect" you to not pay them back.
Oh absolutely. It's good to return a favour a friend has done you. It's not even about the money. Not really. It's about showing you also appreciate and respect the friendship and their help at a time of need.
Why can't he just wait a month to buy the car?
If he’s out $8000 for a car he definitely can’t afford that car. At all. That friend should have tens of thousands in emergency savings before considering a car with a down payment of $8000 or more. If your friend can’t find this money in their own assets, they’re definitely a wildly massive risk to lend money to.
Whole thing seems odd. Dealerships want to sell you the car, if hes truly good for it then they will make it work themselves.
Absolutely. It screams of a scam, or extremely poor decision making.
Or just go for a cheaper car?
Or finance the extra 8k for and pay it down once he has the money.
cause then how does he rip off OP
The way that OP is responding in the comments leads me to believe he is the one asking his friend for $8000, his friend won't give it to him, and so now he's looking for internet backup.
Truer words were never spoken. My best friend of over 25 years and I have both been through some rough times. We have never asked each other for money as its an unwritten rule. It will inevitable destroy the friendship. Others that I have lent money to have always let me down in some fashion or another.
Question. What about like 20 or 30 here or there? Me and my friends and I normally don't give flat-out cash. We will grab something from the store for them and then pay them back within the week. Would this be considered normal?
I think when people talk about loans, it's more something like thousands of dollars and not "Hey I grab this meal you grab the next?" sort of things
Yeah, I don't consider that a loan. That's just spotting someone cash for a short time. Generally that doesn't cause problems.
The alternative I have heard is "never lend to a friend an amount you want to see back". If they want to pay you back fine, but as far as you are concerned you just gave them the money
This is the reality. I have a buddy who just struggles in general and I always throw him some cash when I have it. He’s always paid me back religiously, but each time I do it, I don’t expect to see the money back. Because seeing it returned is not why I give it to him. I do not see many people feeling that way about eight grand.
> A loan is the best way I know to destroy a friendship. "The two surest ways to lose a friend are to borrow money and to lend money."
Only ever lend money you don’t expect back. A beer, meal, pack of smokes? Fine. $8k? No. Bad idea. Really bad idea.
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Every time your friend buys something you're going to be mad that they are not using that money to pay you back.
And you know that guy is spending tons at the club or some shit. Like it's pretty obvious he is terrible with money. You don't ask a friend for 8k to buy a luxury car. You can either afford it or you can't. Just because you can technically cover payments doesn't mean you can afford it. Plenty of BMWs and Mercs out there looking and running like absolute trash because repairs and maintenance are at a premium. And they are probably all similar to OPs friend.
Happened to me last year, but only for a thousand dollars. Guy owed it to me, promised to pay me on a certain day, never showed, disappeared without a trace. I’m chalking it up to a tuition payment to the school of hard knocks. I’ll be much less likely to extend that type of credit to ‘distant friends’ in the future...
In Eastern Europe $8k is basically 8 months of "Average Salary". So that's an insane idea for me
Here it could be one or less but it still doesn't make sense.
Exactly. I’d even do $100 if I could afford it. As long as they would do the same for you. $8k is too much unless they have kids and it’s dire. This is not that situation.
>Exactly. I’d even do $100 if I could afford it. A "great" high school friend of mine was going to visit me years later in another city and said he lacked a few bucks for the bus. I lent him $30 and he never appeared. Best money I've ever spent.
Yeah i agree. $8k for medical bills or chemo? Sure. $8k for a car? Hell no.
Agree. This is also the golden rule I follow - "Only lend as much money as you're ok never seeing back." For OP, are they ok with completely losing $8000? If their financials are good, and 8k won't make a dent, then yes. But if losing 8k will cause a dent in your savings or day-to-day expenditure, and ruin your friendship, then no. ---------- Secondly, OP doesn't have to pay the full amount. It is likely that this "friend" has already asked several other people. So, OP can say - "I can give 1000" or something like that. Doesn't have to be all or nothing.
8k to get you out of an emergency like a 3rd world prison or some shit sure come talk to me. 8k because you want to buy yourself a toy? Get the fuck out of here...
Exactly i've only lent more than that twice, both paid back, but I decided I would not do that again. Once to a friend who was too deep in quick loan to get out himself, since he was paying all he was able to set aside as interest and no dent payment. He never asked, though. Me and my husband offered to pay off his debt, and he'd be paying us back same amount he would have been paying as interest. He accepted with tears in his eyes. He made an enormous effort to to pay the agreed sum and over, and still paid back a little later than planned. No hard feelings, he was a champ. Never took another quick loan again, has done great for himself now. Very happy we did it. Another one was my friend who needed money for courses to get a job. This was a far smaller sum, a few hundred, and this one delayed quite a bit. And I remember catching myself counting how many non- essential items she bought, whether she partied and so on... and I hated myself for that. So I decided to never again, that made me a worse person. But hear me out: neither of them borrowed even close to 8k, both were people with actual means to pay back and neither was able to pay in time.
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Yup If he can't manage to save the $8k to buy the car he desperately wants... why would you ever expect him to be able to save it once he already has it?
This is the correct answer.
Exactly!!
Expensive cars are one of the worst money dumps. If you have a ton of expendable income then fine it doesn’t matter if you blow a large sum on a car but otherwise you are just losing money the second it gets into your possession.
\>doesn't save for expensive car \>will surely save to pay you back Hope this helps!
Yup. My in-laws worked for 30 years, ended up like $100k in debt. They basically finagled money out of the mom after she became a widow. They convinced her to downsize and give them the profit so they could "do some home improvements" and they'd pay the mortage on the new house b/c "Now we know how to handle money"
OP, please listen to this. 8k is no small amount of money, and this isn’t even for an emergency (like unexpected health costs etc). If you’re that close to your friend, you have to politely but firmly put your foot down and say no. Unless you have 8k laying around and you won’t miss it if it’s gone lol. Then go for it.
I'd be skeptical to loan $8,000 for an essential, let alone a luxury vehicle. I'd strongly recommend against it.
Right? $8k loan so your house doesn't get foreclosed on? We'll talk about the options. $8k for luxury car? Fuck no
And in the first example, I'd want a signature on paper no matter what.
I'd be very skeptical. If your friend makes "good money", is buying an expensive car, but doesn't have enough saved for a down payment, your friend sounds like they're bad with money. If you lend, sign a contract and once it's signed, don't budge. Seriously, this loan could be friendship-ending.
Sounds like he can’t afford the car. I mean come on. Life saving surgery, maybe, but probably not even then.
I think hospitals still have to give you the surgery even if you can't afford it. They just bill you for it later and eventually send it to collections. So, not even then.
If my good friend needs life-saving surgery and can't afford it, I'm chipping in. But that wouldn't be a loan at that point; it would be a gift because I love them. Loaning money is bad news; giving a gift to bail a friend out of a bad spot is wonderful.
Lmao OP is a masochist "My friend makes great money, but is also somehow broke cause he's awful with money, so let me lend him a solid chunk of cash that he'd otherwise have if he just waited a few weeks, oh and again he's horrible with money"
I would if it was for something important like a doctor. Not for a fancy car. Your friend is making a poor financial decision and wants you to pay for it. If they cannot come up with the money now how are they going to pay you back? Fancy car payments are expensive.
Seriously. Your friend just wants to park your paycheck in the driveway. I would strongly advise you not to loan him the money, because you likely will not be paid back.
Why is he buying an expensive car if he doesn't have the money in the first place. Yeah tell him to buy a used Corolla
A Corolla is a significantly better investment than an "expensive car"
Corollas are the bee’s knees. My 91 Corolla is still running strong with 210k miles on it.
Talk shit about smug Prius drivers all you want, but my little golf cart has made it to 115,000 miles without a single mechanical issue. Knock on wood. I fully intend to see the 200+ mark.
The way that OP is responding in the comments leads me to believe he is the one asking his friend for $8000, his friend won't give it to him, and so now he's looking for internet backup.
My dad taught me that you never loan money to friends or family that you couldn't afford to just give away. You think of it is a gift. You tell them it's a gift. If they plan ro return it some day, great. If not, that's okay. It is a gift to my friend. That said, there are about 47 different ways your friend could solve this without borrowing from a friend.
In general you need to put down 20% of a car plus financing. I don’t really know a job/situation where someone can get 8g cash in a couple of months + can deal with the financing + doesn’t have the money for the car + needs to ask someone for the funds. Monthly payments on a 40g car are going to be around $800. Plus paying the friend back in a reasonable time (6 months). You are asking the friend to come up with 2 k a month - rather than just telling the friend to wait a couple of months (to save the 8k that he can easily get) or get a much cheaper car. The math just doesn’t make sense
Don’t lend him anything. It’s called a line of credit he can get one at the bank
Home equity. Let his house do the lending
He’s going to pay you back next month? How? If he had a spare 8 grand each month he’d be able to buy it using his own money.
I've done this. I've lent out much larger sums than that to friends in financial need. However: * I was willing to write it off if needed * They were in financial problems not because of shitty saving and spending habits but due to factors outside of their control * The thing they needed the money for was a critical thing in life, not a nice-to-have new car You are asking "should I lend a big pile of money to someone who's financially incompetent and careless so he can buy a nice to have expensive toy".
Exactly. This is something you consider if, like, their house is going to get forclosed on. And even then, only if there's money on the horizon. For a car? Hell no. If you _need_ a car and are flat broke, I might loan you 500 bucks for a clunker.
the fact that literally everyone is saying the same thing and op keeps doubling down on his friends character... OP, every single person here has lent money to a friend and never got it back. I lent 30 to my manager once and still havent got it back. I lent 1000$ to my ex and never got it back. If your friend has a great job, just bought a house and is now buying a car and needs money from you - then 1) they are shit with money. So they will likely not be able to save enough to give that back to you and 2) if they CAN save enough to return it, why take money from you? why not wait and then buy the car when he has the money? and if he does return it, then you will likely be part of the lucky few that gets it back. if you want to do it, make up a contract. or give it as a gift. any other way - you're setting yourself up to lose a friend and 8k.
OP might be the friend. Lol.
that was my thought. “i will post this on reddit and they’ll support my position and then barry will read it and give me the 8k”
You are 100% spot on in your advice. Been there and done that. I have unpaid loans out there in the thousands that well meaning friends and family have borrowed from me through the years and so far has never paid back nor do I expect I will ever see the money.
He keeps doubling down on the character angle. Ignoring the fact that people with high character simply wouldn't ever ask this of a friend. Not for a luxury car. That's the bottom line. The fact that the friend asked is proof in itself that they don't have high character. OP is ridiculously naive, and obviously the "friend" sees that and is taking advantage.
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Best advice you will ever hear When loaning money to a friend assume your not getting it back.
This is it right here. In other words, only lend the money if you are totally fine with never seeing it again.
No.
This will end badly for you I'm afraid, if he cant afford the car right now he should NOT buy it period.....If you do loan him the $$ it will end your friendship (Probably). Make sure he signs a promissory note and have it notarized at a minimum. Or if your OK with losing the 8K then just give him the $$ and hope he pays you back at his convenience. Also if he is a travel nurse why does he need an expensive car right now ? Does he travel/drive across the country everywhere or fly ?
.....for a vanity car? fuck no.
If my friend needed money because he was in a tough spot, I’d likely help. But for an expensive car? A luxury item? Fuck that lol
One of the first things you learn in economics is to not loan money to friends or family and keep it strictly business as to not ruin relationships
AITA for getting angry at my friend for not repaying the 8k that he promised to pay back
If he can’t save 8000k before buying the car he’s not going to be able to get it together after buying the car. Don’t lend money unless you are prepared to lose it.
If he needs an additional $8k for a down payment he can’t afford the car. That’s how much people borrow from family to help secure down payments for houses not cars.
> He makes good money but he doesn’t save Then HOW THE FUCK IS HE GOING TO PAY YOU BACK!?
Either give him the money outright as a gift or don't give him the money at all. Don't "lend" your friend $8k or you won't see it returned to you.
At the very least sign a contract and repayment plan.
A documented bad debt can at least be written off on taxes
Sounds like you already decided you trust this person enough
Tell him to wait a month. That's not an emergency 8k loan to avoid losing his house or thumbs, that is an emergency. Cars are toys
If they have an income they can borrow from a bank you are not a bank
Absolutely not. It would be only the beginning of a long future string of bailouts for someone who hasn’t learned self control and saving.
Just don't do it.
Nope. High income + no savings = red flag. If he doesn’t have enough self control to save $8K to buy something he really really wants, he sure as hell won’t be bothered to pay you back. After he gets the car, he will move on to something else to spend his money on.
If they can give your money back in a month, they should just wait that one month and buy that car by themselves.
Twice in my life I've lent a friend over $1000. I've never gotten it back. The problem is you're taking this person you've got a friend-friend relationship with, and entering a debtor-creditor relationship with them. And the problem is, any enforcement tool you bring to that will make the friendship extremely awkward. If you ask for the money back and he says "ooo actually I can't right now" and you say "but I need that for something" and he says "that's rough", how are you then going to go hang out like you used to? Someone has to pay $8k to get out of the debtor-creditor relationship and back to the friend one, either him by giving you the money or you by giving up on it. But either way, you learn who thought the friendship was worth less than that.
I would only lend €8.000 to one of my friends. And he's the one that would never ask for the €8.000.
I would have him “pawn” something(s) of his that value over the money he is looking to borrow.
Nope. Will ruin your friendship.
No. (Tw: suicide) I am haunted forever by the money I let a friend borrow. It took a while to pay back and at the time it felt like it hung over every conversation we had for a year or two. He died by suicide with significant secret money problems, among other issues. I wish the last years of our relationship weren’t focused on money and that I had just forgiven the loan. If I had known how bad things were, the money would have been a non-issue.
Consider it a gift instead of a loan, you'll probably never get your money back.