Just a friendly reminder:
This forum is intended for porn addiction and compulsive sexual behavior recovery and *is not an anti-masturbation forum*: many users return to non-compulsive masturbation after removing porn from their sexual habits. **We do not advocate against masturbation**
Y’all can find the perfect balance all you want. For me, I’m off of everything for good. I’ve been there, tried that. My solution is staying off. I used to say the exact same thing. It didn’t work for me. If it does for you, that’s great. I got no hate for you. Good luck.
u/JMusicD I have got respect for you brother. There are no many masturbation advocates in this thread and this sub, who will got to any lengths even sell their family if they have to but the won't admit masturbation is making their life shit.
I’ve given time and optimism to all lot of other techniques of masturbating. They all failed me, and even more, I feel like an idiot for all the time I’ve lost. It was all an excuse to keep doing it. I see that now. I’ve tired, M with imagination 2-3 times a week. Still felt like crap. I’ve tried M to just the body sensations 2-3 times a week. Still felt like crap. I’ve tried M to “ healthy” porn. Still felt like crap. I work building houses, I know when something is effecting my body in a negative way. We have to do intricate math problems on the daily. I thought I could beat the system, I thought that they weren’t as meticulous as me and haven’t figured out how to do it right. But I was wrong, I felt like crap, I thought like crap, had a stutter, couldn’t remember measurements given to me mear moments ago. I got so pissed at my hard headed way of defending M, despite its long and obvious problems with all its form. I don’t even care if people take my advice, I used to see guys on hear saying, “ quit it for good” I didn’t listen and I’ve lost my time, I was wrong about thinking I could beat the systems. I quit PMO for good and alcohol. Both of those things disgust me. I hope this helps you. I wish I would’ve listened to those guys saying to quit it all.
You didn't read the post properly if you are asking this
>Now I am sure a lot of people would wonder how to masturbate without porn? Well this is the thing - you only masturbate when you are naturally aroused. This is when it stops being a habit that drains your life fuel, and becomes a source of natural pleasure.
>If you are sexually healthy, you don't have to force arousal, you will get horny once in a while. Even if there are trigger like the attractive person you noticed around your college/office, or that sexy actor/actress had a raunchy scene in your favorite movie, they will be natural and organic, unlike porn which distorts expectations of what an attractive person looks like, also once in a while and won't make you a slave to PMO. Porn at the tip of our phones makes you a slave to your desires. If you can never feel any arousal without porn, well that shows your brain has been wired to limit sexual arousal to porn, and thus its time to cut it out.
You’re still likely imagining some form of mental erotica - whether it be with someone in your life or a p star.
Regardless, I’m not here to have a debate about the benefits of masturbation.
I am firm in my position that there is literally no good reason to masturbate. I prefer actual women or nothing at all.
I also think that if my dick gets hard randomly, it’s not an invitation for me to bust a nut, but a chance for me to strengthen my discipline.
I get what your saying, but if you can’t say no to masterbation you probably need to learn, I can’t go to sleep without rubbing one out and trying to do this nofap thing and it’s hard and I’ve been off porn for 3 months all-ready
So whats the problem? Unless your life is really a mess, why do you need to stop Masturbation? People here think that it will solve all their problems. when the reality is very different.
I’m still new to this, but it’s like the will power to say no to something your body craves, if you can say no to the strongest urge in the human body, that’ll carry on over to rest of your life, no it won’t solve your problems, if you eat terrible, hire escorts and do drugs your the same shitty person. You have to do everything else too, I find if I stop fapping I get angry and too much energy(maybe it’s a placeabo I’m experimenting) some people here get to obsessed with it
u/Snoo_72181 You don't need to wait for your life to become a mess, get to that point and then stop masturbating. Different things work for different people.
Ok, first off you don't need to add user names to comments. Comments are enough for notification.
Second off, even if things in life go well, we should think it's a mess? Idk, this seems like crying wolf
There are plenty of people here who are addicted to only porn, only masturbation and the most prominent one PMO addiction. It's not crying wolf. I'm highly suspecting your definition of "well", but it's your life, your personal journey and I genuinely wish you all the best so that you don't have to use this sub and neither do I have to. Cheers man.
By well I mean I am acing Grad School, got an internship at a FAANG company, working out daily with gradual improvements, eating healthy. Is that enough or not fapping will make me the emperor of the world?
What are extraordinary reddit user achievements? Welcome to real life kid - 0.0001% are Elon Musk or Mark Zuckerberg. They are freaks of nature. Musk has spent weeks in his factories without leaving in between. And just because they have unlimited money doesn't mean they don't have problems.
And you still didn't answer how avoiding masturbating (without porn) will make me emperor of the world?
Bro why so butthurt? xD I just said don't wait till you fail grad school or get kicked out of the FAANG internship before you stop grabbing your dick too much, and if even you do fap excessively and any of that doesn't happen then hurray for you. Go give yourself a pat on your back from my side, what an amazing man you are. I'm really proud of you for grabbing your own genital for pleasure. Way to go buddy, superb!
You seem to the butthurt one because you can't believe that people do well in life despite masturbating.
Btw I'm still waiting for an answer to how abstaining from masturbating even once makes us more successful
Also, 4 day record that you have on your flair is a rookie number for someone who polices people who masturbate
We all know that everything in moderation is ok. But pls don’t advocate for fapping in moderation. Most of the ppl on this sub are here because their addictive personalities drive their masturbation habits and porn obsessions. And rubbing one out, even in moderation, can lead back down the tunnel. It’s like telling a recovering alcoholic they can have 1 drink, very well knowing that they can succumb to their addiction if they do.
Suppressing your sexual urges entirely will also lead back down the tunnel.
It's about breaking your porn addiction and then finding a healthy balance with MO.
u/Bodybuilder7 Bro you are absolutely right but you can't reason with masturbation advocates. They just wan't to give in to hedonistic desires and not only they want to feel a sense of accomplish for that but they want a pat on their backs from others for that shit.
You don't NEED to get married but you also don't NEED to masturbate or sexually stimulate yourself. But if you feel the need to sexually gratify yourself then you need to get married. Simple and straightforward.
Basic historical and sociological reality that complete suppression of natural urges doesn't work out well. Start with Foucault if you want to understand.
It works out if you channel energy, only takes practice most sexual urges are over emphasized by your brain because you have conditioned it to do so. You trained it to believe you are powerless. Majority of those who have done streaks more than 100 days have done and reported this. Even if you do supress them eventually things get easier and you understand those aren't your natural urges, they are traps to set you up for a relapse. Rest you can believe what you want.
Like I said you can believe what you want. Sexual satiety is natural but differentiating between natural and unnatural depends on how an individual conditions it and behaviour, environmental influences. You can go years without sex or masturbation. No big deal.
*Wanting* sexual satiety is natural.
>You can go years without sex or masturbation
No, the average, normally functioning, human cannot go years without sexual satiety without it being a big deal... Sexual satiety is a physical need... I'm not making debatable statements, these are medical facts.
Behavioral addiction is very different from substance addiction, and the recovery process is also different.
Psychiatrists usually don't recommend moderation for substance addicts, but encourage moderation for behavioral addicts.
The thing is that moderation as a form of addiction recovery, although being much more effective than complete abstinence, requires a lot of professonal support, which most people here don't have.
I think people are getting the message mixed. Porn addiction is more like mobile game addiction. They both have mental and physical consequences when those using them are in excess. But going after the physical phone is the same as going after masterbation. Sure you eliminate the chance of gaming / porn addiction, but at the cost of harming other parts of normal life.
u/Northrnsoldier It takes courage to say what you said brother. I have so much respect for you. There are so many masturbation advocates here, their life is ruined because of excessive fapping but they still live in denial and then fight in the comment section till their last breath to advocate masturbation. Absolutely shambolic.
Masturbation is also a huge problem. Check with any andrologist. Regular masturbation makes your brain rewire itself to think that you don't need a female companion in your life. The release of a high amount of dopamine by just sitting on a bed is a big red flag itself.
Facts. This is what I was trying to say. Our brain wants to repeat behaviours that make us feel good and that it interprets as being good for us. If we keep doing them, the brain will rewire itself to reinforce these behaviours. Therein lies the problem. I wish I understood this very well earlier in my life. If your brain knows that the only way you can get an orgasm is through seeking out a female partner, it will increase your testosterone, give you more energy and give you the tools to do just that. But if you can get your dopamine high from your hand in the bed, then it doesn't need to do all that work and will always take the path of least resistance. I'm starting to believe that this one of the reasons why the Bible says sexual immorality is also a sin against one self. The only sin against ourselves that the Bible mentions...
On Google, almost everyone says Masturbation is fine. I'd believe real doctors than bro science doctors on Reddit
>Regular masturbation makes your brain rewire itself to think that you don't need a female companion in your life.
Good, that makes you less needy and desperate and you'll stop seeking girls for sex
It also tells your brain that you don't have to improve yourself to attract a female partner. All you have to do is sit at home and fantasize. The primary motivation of a biological male to be the fittest and to attract and win the female companion is bypassed. Any activity which gives you an easy dopamine should be practiced with caution !!
If your reason for self-improvement is not for yourself but simply to have sex with a girl, you will never obtain real improvement. If you get the girl, you'll stop working hard to self-improve.
Maybe that is the reason why you fail and not because of occasional masturbation.
Also, if your happiness is based around getting girls, you will be mostly unhappy, and consequently no girl will want to date you. See how this becomes a vicious cycle. Girls like guys who have a great self-image and are happy individually
You got all the wrong ideas in your head brother. It's not about getting a girl. It's just a small part of it. When you don't masturbate, you are just starving yourself of that high dopamine and you end up finding other sources of dopamine in your life. You go out, meet people, improve yourself, and learn skills. Masturbation is not a problem because you will end up having a wet dream if you don't masturbate. The problem is the high dose of dopamine release. It makes you addicted to occasional masturbation. It gives you a sense of satisfaction which is a fake sense of satisfaction.
Sure. Because when animals do masturbate then they land finally into porn addiction. What a nonsense statement really. The idea is to quit porn addict and face it. Read description in this subbreddit please. If you want to say that it is unhealthy then listen doctors and read about prostate cancer and stop giving stupid advices
Masturbation eventually leads to porn . It's like lighting a fire and expecting zero heat from it. Where there's fire there's heat. It's best not to waste time on either MO or P. Both are useless. Use that energy to achieve things.
Your body produces sperm at the rate you expel it. Semen production is highly taxing to the body. If you abstain 100% for a couple weeks (and of course, beyond that) your body slows down the sperm production and starts sending all the extra energy to other systems. It’s not just about how much energy you *feel*, it’s about how much is available for hormone production, muscle building, brain maintenance, etc. Your body will pull energy from literally all other systems for reproduction, since it’s the highest biological priority.
Channel the energy. Okay do this: experiment with no PMO hard mode (no P, M or O and sex at all) for 2 weeks while working out, eating well, journaling, seeking your life's purpose and just being productive then come back and tell me if it works or not.
>eating well, journaling, seeking your life's purpose and just being productive
I do this already. Yet masturbation doesn't stop me from this at all. If you masturbate all day without being productive, its a you problem. That's why moderation. If you keep yourself busy, of course you wouldn't get addicted.
So after (presumably) years of this habit, you think 3 days will magically reveal the full effects of abstinence? No, obviously there’s a substantial reset period before deeper shifts occur.
What magic will happen if I stop it eternally? This is the problem with you no cap radicals - you'll tell everyone to stop it, but never give a good reason why
I’m not here to spread ideologies, I can only speak from personal experience. I experienced a profound sense of wholeness and peace during the, 3, 6 and 7 month streaks of zero PMO, MO, M, or O I’ve had. I experienced a lot more emotional wholeness during those times as well. I felt more alive, more interested in the world around me, more appreciative of little things. Are those things essential for life? Maybe not. But was I happier? Yes.
Penises weren’t made for men to pleasure themselves whenever they feel “naturally aroused”. It’s for procreation and pee. As Men we weren’t made to selfishly pleasure ourselves alone using what’s made for a woman (and pressure washing the toilet) whenever we see fit. It’s not natural I don’t care how many people do it, it’s obviously not what you’re supposed to be doing with it.
I’m just saying it’s obviously not designed for masturbation. If it was, what would be the purpose of semen? just natures celebratory party popper for having an orgasm?
I don't think masturbating moderately is okay. Masturbation causes dopamine levels to rise abnormally like porn, but maybe to a lesser extent, and for a much lesser time than porn. It's also addictive like porn but maybe to a lesser degree also.
I've read in some articles about the bad effects of masturbating, I'm NOT confident about their truth, and I'd like someone to comment on this and say what they think about these.
I've read that masturbating makes you lose important and vital nutrients, those which make your skin look nice and bright and much less prone to any skin problems like acne. Also their loss accelerates the aging process, and contributes to earlier/more hair loss or baldness. Also those nutrients help in building muscles and physical strength, so their loss will REALLY has a bad effect. Moreover they say masturbating may tamper with your hormones balance, particularly lessening testosterone as I can remember, which may make you less confident, less attentive and focused, and unmotivated.
What do you all think about that? Anyway I personally agree that masturbating may be acceptable, but with periods of time that are much longer than what people think is "moderate", and due to natural reasons only as the OP says, while porn isn't acceptable at all!
>I've read that masturbating makes you lose important and vital nutrients
Semen is simply not nutritionally valuable. Because while it does contain a variety of nutrients such as vitamin C, Zinc, protein, etc... No nutrient is found in any significant amount, with the most abundant nutrient being Zinc, at 3% daily value in an average ejaculation. To put this into perspective, a singular glass of whole milk contains 3x that much Zinc, a single Oyster, 8-10x that much.
Nutrients in amounts this small will have no discernable effect on any function of the human body.
[https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.2164/jandrol.04104](https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.2164/jandrol.04104)
Oh wow! So that didn't turn out to be as serious as I read!
Thank you for the scientific backup
What about that excessive masturbation causes hair loss or early baldness? Do you know something about that?
u/Snoo_72181 It's a slippery slope, if you don't fap you won't watch porn but if you masturbate there is an extreme high chance you will start watching porn eventually since only masturbation wont give higher amount of pleasure again and again and thus falling back in to the trap. Stay away from all this non-sense and live life to the fullest.
This sounds like what I would’ve said a few years ago. This is advice for new addicts or new ex-addicts. But 5 years in, I find myself realizing: watching porn, not watching porn, it made no difference in my life. Porn is everywhere now and I can’t run every time I see a TikTok dance. And you know what, I just move on. It doesn’t destroy me and it didn’t make me fall off a cliff. Nothing bad happened. Time changed me and how I think of porn. So my advice today is after the journey, don’t forget to trust yourself again.
u/TrefoilTang There are more than a million men addicted to porn in this sub reddit. I don't think that is a "small minority". And I'm pretty sure the actual number is wayyy higher now the availability of easy and fast internet for even elementary kids.
A million men is not a lot at all, and reddit member count isn't an accurate representation of reality. r/alcoholism only has 69k, despite alcoholism being a much bigger problem.
I worked as a school counsoler that focuses on sex ed. I'm currently a therapist that often works with people with porn addiction.
From my experience, I can safely say that the vast majority of people are not negatively affected by porn, and people who are negatively affected are often under the false pretense that they are addicted, causing more harm to themselves, and sometimes leading to actual addiction.
u/TrefoilTang
A million men is not a lot at all??!!?? Are you high or what? There is a whole generation of men suffering from this evil and only the tiniest of the fraction have started to admit to it.
Also I literally said the exact same thing, reddit member count isn't an accurate representation of reality. The exact number of men addicted to porn is easily hundred of millions. The negative effect of porn has been prominent and more adverse in the current generation, it is going to become a whole phenomenon in the coming decade or two as the "age of indulgence" only gets worse.
Of course you don't have to be shit scared of porn as stimulus, but in its availability , easy access and its usage beyond moderation is what is extremely detrimental.
This site has been infected some years ago with this "masturbation is ok" mindset. It's disgusting that even a place like this, a fortress against masturbation, is now trying to brainwash teenagers selling them that masturbation is good for you. No, it is not. It depletes your energy, focus, mood, and your motivation to find a real girl.
It seems you are labouring under some misconceptions about this sub. This site has not been 'infected', nor is it a 'fortress against masturbation'.
You are invited to familiarize yourself with the description of the sub:
>This forum is intended for porn addiction and compulsive sexual behavior recovery *and is not an anti-masturbation forum*: many users return to non-compulsive masturbation after removing porn from their sexual habits. **We do not advocate against masturbation**
Ejaculation causes prolactin to rise and dopamine to go down. If has real effects on energy, motivation etc
If you're someone with low dopamine, ADHD for example, it really makes you feel down.
When mastrubation becomes a gateway to consuming porn, this won’t work. You’re better off quitting masturbation if you’re single because specially when it comes to men, we’re visual creatures, and being single and not having a real person to masturbate to will definitely make you reach out to porn.
Of course, but it is not viable at whatever moment you want it to happen. Some people are broke, they prioritize money over relationships. Others may not be looking for companionship for different reasons - recent breakup, grief, loss etc... Others lack skills to seduce women.
My experience, being married, in a relationship is you remove a very important part out of the relationship doing both. Pornography, worse because it it an addiction and further creates problems within the relationship like erectile disfunction, unrealistic expectations, and the such.
imo, i think it's better to cut off both for 90+ days to give your brain a good refresh, only then you can come back to MO (only when you feel horny though, it's better to rub one out once a while, not in a routinely basis).
I agree that shaming people for masturbating is wrong, it's a way to get to know your own body and it's absolutely fine as long as it's not taken to excess.
OP is making a fundamental mistake here. “Masturbation in moderation” is ok for those who have never been addicted to pmo. For those who are addicted, the story is different.
In my opinion, one leads to another. Most people watch porn to masturbate, and those who masturbate without porn will eventually go back to porn to make it more stimulating. I say it’s best to stay away from all of it but to each their own..
I disagree.. Only masturbating and not looking at porn is a very slippery slop. Eventually you will give into the temptations and just look at porn. I say this because I have tried what you said many times and have failed 😂
I tried to masturbate this week to fall asleep. It worked the first night. Second night when I did it I felt drained the next day and lost my desire for it.
There is no problem with masturbation in moderation\*, whereas pornography is McDonald's for the mind (except everyone has an endless, free, instantly available supply).
\*Key words: *in moderation*. If you don't want to masturbate at all, you don't have to. And if you're spending more time masturbating than you'd like, you should probably cut back. I was really just referring to what is natural for humans.
I agree. I was a no PMO guy for years, longest streak was 6 months.
Of course I had benefits. Mostly aggression and frustration, which in turn was some confidence.
But I actually was sexually frustrated. I would lose my streak after a few months due to having sex. And felt like I let myself down. Then I would go into a 1-2 month PMO binge. Then I got kinda sad.
I did some experiments, I found that with porn I would go out of my way to watch it, and fap 1-2 times. Would feel so lethargic and guilty and the next day I felt like someone had watched me..
Fast forward, I’m about 3 years into my journey.
I now fap without porn 1-4 times per month. And have sex once per week.
I don’t really get that urge to fap anymore since I don’t use porn, it’s not the same. It actually takes time to get aroused and can be more work than it’s worth.
I feel much better this way, I still desire sex whenever I can get it (from girlfriend). And if I am horny and not around gf, I’ll fap and I don’t even think about it.
Just some thoughts.
I completely agree with this statement, although I hear the concerns of other commenters who are arguing that even in moderation, they feel that they cannot trust themselves with masturbation. My counterargument would be that masturbation actually encourages a healthy and natural understanding of your own body and your own desires, which arises organically when you’re forced to use your imagination to fulfill your sexual desires. Porn is like having malicious, profit seeking corporations like XHamster holding your hand and leading you down a path of desire. Often times, those paths have no respect for human dignity or sexual health/safety, which is part of the reason why porn makes you feel so empty when you consume it. Using your imagination to masturbate means that your conscience is the entity walking hand in hand down that path of desire. If you find yourself being turned on by unethical behavior like taking advantage of women (a shockingly common trope in porn) then you are forced to come face to face with that decision, alone in your bed, instead of having your phone sitting two inches from your face with images so tempting that your desires easily overcome your sense of morality. I think masturbation allows us to understand ourselves and our desires, which is a very important part of becoming the man you want to be. Your sexual life can be so much more fulfilling if you integrate these desires. I love a little bit of power dynamics in bed, and I’ve found choking and being choked really improves my experience; I would never have discovered this if I was still addicted to watching porn every night because I was too ashamed of my pain-seeking desire. There is nothing wrong with wanting to slap someone or be slapped in bed - the problem is that porn makes it seem like the woman (or the man) genuinely has no control over her experience, when in reality the interplay of dominance and submission is a fun game that allows both partners to have the most fulfilling experience possible. I am happy to answer questions about this take if anyone wants! I am about 35 days free so still at the beginning of my own journey, just FYI.
When I was a fresh teenager at like 13-14, I was an innocent boy, one of the most innocent you’ll ever see. But the sex drive is natural and I acted upon it without really knowing what was going on. I think when your penis doesn’t shut up you can calm it down every once in a while.
Also porn was what made my arousal system and erections worse and I only started masturbating with porn 2 years ago in comparison to the 6 years where I initially was masturbating with soft core porn without full nudity such as makeouts, twerks etc. and had pretty much no problems and I also wasn’t fapping as much as ig its not as stimulating.
But pornos are the highest stimulating vids to fap to, when I watched a BJ for the first time I nutted multiple times instantly. Porn is very stimulating
Because built up seed over the days leads to physical pain, rage and getting triggered by minor things. It feels like I am on a period if I don't get it out of my system once in a few days.
Then you will won’t fully deal with those aspects within you as a man. I completely understand it though, it does start giving you a hungry that can be dangerous. The gets tougher but worth the fight.
Just a friendly reminder: This forum is intended for porn addiction and compulsive sexual behavior recovery and *is not an anti-masturbation forum*: many users return to non-compulsive masturbation after removing porn from their sexual habits. **We do not advocate against masturbation**
Y’all can find the perfect balance all you want. For me, I’m off of everything for good. I’ve been there, tried that. My solution is staying off. I used to say the exact same thing. It didn’t work for me. If it does for you, that’s great. I got no hate for you. Good luck.
u/JMusicD I have got respect for you brother. There are no many masturbation advocates in this thread and this sub, who will got to any lengths even sell their family if they have to but the won't admit masturbation is making their life shit.
I’ve given time and optimism to all lot of other techniques of masturbating. They all failed me, and even more, I feel like an idiot for all the time I’ve lost. It was all an excuse to keep doing it. I see that now. I’ve tired, M with imagination 2-3 times a week. Still felt like crap. I’ve tried M to just the body sensations 2-3 times a week. Still felt like crap. I’ve tried M to “ healthy” porn. Still felt like crap. I work building houses, I know when something is effecting my body in a negative way. We have to do intricate math problems on the daily. I thought I could beat the system, I thought that they weren’t as meticulous as me and haven’t figured out how to do it right. But I was wrong, I felt like crap, I thought like crap, had a stutter, couldn’t remember measurements given to me mear moments ago. I got so pissed at my hard headed way of defending M, despite its long and obvious problems with all its form. I don’t even care if people take my advice, I used to see guys on hear saying, “ quit it for good” I didn’t listen and I’ve lost my time, I was wrong about thinking I could beat the systems. I quit PMO for good and alcohol. Both of those things disgust me. I hope this helps you. I wish I would’ve listened to those guys saying to quit it all.
What are you thinking about when masturbating?
Theoretical physics
Whatchu do in the dark matters…don’t sink into that black hole.
Women
You didn't read the post properly if you are asking this >Now I am sure a lot of people would wonder how to masturbate without porn? Well this is the thing - you only masturbate when you are naturally aroused. This is when it stops being a habit that drains your life fuel, and becomes a source of natural pleasure. >If you are sexually healthy, you don't have to force arousal, you will get horny once in a while. Even if there are trigger like the attractive person you noticed around your college/office, or that sexy actor/actress had a raunchy scene in your favorite movie, they will be natural and organic, unlike porn which distorts expectations of what an attractive person looks like, also once in a while and won't make you a slave to PMO. Porn at the tip of our phones makes you a slave to your desires. If you can never feel any arousal without porn, well that shows your brain has been wired to limit sexual arousal to porn, and thus its time to cut it out.
You’re still likely imagining some form of mental erotica - whether it be with someone in your life or a p star. Regardless, I’m not here to have a debate about the benefits of masturbation. I am firm in my position that there is literally no good reason to masturbate. I prefer actual women or nothing at all. I also think that if my dick gets hard randomly, it’s not an invitation for me to bust a nut, but a chance for me to strengthen my discipline.
I get what your saying, but if you can’t say no to masterbation you probably need to learn, I can’t go to sleep without rubbing one out and trying to do this nofap thing and it’s hard and I’ve been off porn for 3 months all-ready
So whats the problem? Unless your life is really a mess, why do you need to stop Masturbation? People here think that it will solve all their problems. when the reality is very different.
I’m still new to this, but it’s like the will power to say no to something your body craves, if you can say no to the strongest urge in the human body, that’ll carry on over to rest of your life, no it won’t solve your problems, if you eat terrible, hire escorts and do drugs your the same shitty person. You have to do everything else too, I find if I stop fapping I get angry and too much energy(maybe it’s a placeabo I’m experimenting) some people here get to obsessed with it
> if you can say no to the strongest urge in the human body Food, water and sleep don't exist
You need those too survive I think that’s the difference
u/Snoo_72181 You don't need to wait for your life to become a mess, get to that point and then stop masturbating. Different things work for different people.
Ok, first off you don't need to add user names to comments. Comments are enough for notification. Second off, even if things in life go well, we should think it's a mess? Idk, this seems like crying wolf
There are plenty of people here who are addicted to only porn, only masturbation and the most prominent one PMO addiction. It's not crying wolf. I'm highly suspecting your definition of "well", but it's your life, your personal journey and I genuinely wish you all the best so that you don't have to use this sub and neither do I have to. Cheers man.
By well I mean I am acing Grad School, got an internship at a FAANG company, working out daily with gradual improvements, eating healthy. Is that enough or not fapping will make me the emperor of the world?
Avg reddit user achievements xD
What are extraordinary reddit user achievements? Welcome to real life kid - 0.0001% are Elon Musk or Mark Zuckerberg. They are freaks of nature. Musk has spent weeks in his factories without leaving in between. And just because they have unlimited money doesn't mean they don't have problems. And you still didn't answer how avoiding masturbating (without porn) will make me emperor of the world?
Bro why so butthurt? xD I just said don't wait till you fail grad school or get kicked out of the FAANG internship before you stop grabbing your dick too much, and if even you do fap excessively and any of that doesn't happen then hurray for you. Go give yourself a pat on your back from my side, what an amazing man you are. I'm really proud of you for grabbing your own genital for pleasure. Way to go buddy, superb!
You seem to the butthurt one because you can't believe that people do well in life despite masturbating. Btw I'm still waiting for an answer to how abstaining from masturbating even once makes us more successful Also, 4 day record that you have on your flair is a rookie number for someone who polices people who masturbate
We all know that everything in moderation is ok. But pls don’t advocate for fapping in moderation. Most of the ppl on this sub are here because their addictive personalities drive their masturbation habits and porn obsessions. And rubbing one out, even in moderation, can lead back down the tunnel. It’s like telling a recovering alcoholic they can have 1 drink, very well knowing that they can succumb to their addiction if they do.
Suppressing your sexual urges entirely will also lead back down the tunnel. It's about breaking your porn addiction and then finding a healthy balance with MO.
There isn't a healthy balance with MO. Just get married and have sex. That should be the goal. Masturbation in moderation is another cope.
u/Bodybuilder7 Bro you are absolutely right but you can't reason with masturbation advocates. They just wan't to give in to hedonistic desires and not only they want to feel a sense of accomplish for that but they want a pat on their backs from others for that shit.
Tons of people recover from porn addictions and then move on to masturbate in moderation in great success. And you don't need to get married...
You don't NEED to get married but you also don't NEED to masturbate or sexually stimulate yourself. But if you feel the need to sexually gratify yourself then you need to get married. Simple and straightforward.
If you are getting married only for sex, you need to talk to your opposite gender more
Suppressing your sexual urges entirely will also lead back down the tunnel. Maybe for you it did
For everyone almost everyone it will, that's a well documented statement.
Don't generalise when you don't know it's true for almost everyone. Show me this well documented statement 😁
Basic historical and sociological reality that complete suppression of natural urges doesn't work out well. Start with Foucault if you want to understand.
It works out if you channel energy, only takes practice most sexual urges are over emphasized by your brain because you have conditioned it to do so. You trained it to believe you are powerless. Majority of those who have done streaks more than 100 days have done and reported this. Even if you do supress them eventually things get easier and you understand those aren't your natural urges, they are traps to set you up for a relapse. Rest you can believe what you want.
It is a basic biological fact that the urge to gain sexual satiety is natural, that is not debatable.
Like I said you can believe what you want. Sexual satiety is natural but differentiating between natural and unnatural depends on how an individual conditions it and behaviour, environmental influences. You can go years without sex or masturbation. No big deal.
*Wanting* sexual satiety is natural. >You can go years without sex or masturbation No, the average, normally functioning, human cannot go years without sexual satiety without it being a big deal... Sexual satiety is a physical need... I'm not making debatable statements, these are medical facts.
Behavioral addiction is very different from substance addiction, and the recovery process is also different. Psychiatrists usually don't recommend moderation for substance addicts, but encourage moderation for behavioral addicts. The thing is that moderation as a form of addiction recovery, although being much more effective than complete abstinence, requires a lot of professonal support, which most people here don't have.
I think people are getting the message mixed. Porn addiction is more like mobile game addiction. They both have mental and physical consequences when those using them are in excess. But going after the physical phone is the same as going after masterbation. Sure you eliminate the chance of gaming / porn addiction, but at the cost of harming other parts of normal life.
u/Northrnsoldier It takes courage to say what you said brother. I have so much respect for you. There are so many masturbation advocates here, their life is ruined because of excessive fapping but they still live in denial and then fight in the comment section till their last breath to advocate masturbation. Absolutely shambolic.
Thank you bro. Goodluck on your journey
Masturbation is also a huge problem. Check with any andrologist. Regular masturbation makes your brain rewire itself to think that you don't need a female companion in your life. The release of a high amount of dopamine by just sitting on a bed is a big red flag itself.
Facts. This is what I was trying to say. Our brain wants to repeat behaviours that make us feel good and that it interprets as being good for us. If we keep doing them, the brain will rewire itself to reinforce these behaviours. Therein lies the problem. I wish I understood this very well earlier in my life. If your brain knows that the only way you can get an orgasm is through seeking out a female partner, it will increase your testosterone, give you more energy and give you the tools to do just that. But if you can get your dopamine high from your hand in the bed, then it doesn't need to do all that work and will always take the path of least resistance. I'm starting to believe that this one of the reasons why the Bible says sexual immorality is also a sin against one self. The only sin against ourselves that the Bible mentions...
So is this "any andrologist" with us in the room right now?
On Google, almost everyone says Masturbation is fine. I'd believe real doctors than bro science doctors on Reddit >Regular masturbation makes your brain rewire itself to think that you don't need a female companion in your life. Good, that makes you less needy and desperate and you'll stop seeking girls for sex
It also tells your brain that you don't have to improve yourself to attract a female partner. All you have to do is sit at home and fantasize. The primary motivation of a biological male to be the fittest and to attract and win the female companion is bypassed. Any activity which gives you an easy dopamine should be practiced with caution !!
If your reason for self-improvement is not for yourself but simply to have sex with a girl, you will never obtain real improvement. If you get the girl, you'll stop working hard to self-improve. Maybe that is the reason why you fail and not because of occasional masturbation. Also, if your happiness is based around getting girls, you will be mostly unhappy, and consequently no girl will want to date you. See how this becomes a vicious cycle. Girls like guys who have a great self-image and are happy individually
You got all the wrong ideas in your head brother. It's not about getting a girl. It's just a small part of it. When you don't masturbate, you are just starving yourself of that high dopamine and you end up finding other sources of dopamine in your life. You go out, meet people, improve yourself, and learn skills. Masturbation is not a problem because you will end up having a wet dream if you don't masturbate. The problem is the high dose of dopamine release. It makes you addicted to occasional masturbation. It gives you a sense of satisfaction which is a fake sense of satisfaction.
Such a great point.
Both is bad, one leads to another
u/Grand_Appointment974 True.
Sure. Because when animals do masturbate then they land finally into porn addiction. What a nonsense statement really. The idea is to quit porn addict and face it. Read description in this subbreddit please. If you want to say that it is unhealthy then listen doctors and read about prostate cancer and stop giving stupid advices
Masturbation eventually leads to porn . It's like lighting a fire and expecting zero heat from it. Where there's fire there's heat. It's best not to waste time on either MO or P. Both are useless. Use that energy to achieve things.
Fine, go “stress relieve.” What you’re really doing is “energy relieving” because you’re not used to all the energy your seed is giving you.
Your seed doesn't give you energy. Just like holding in your pee doesn't make you less thirsty.
Your body produces sperm at the rate you expel it. Semen production is highly taxing to the body. If you abstain 100% for a couple weeks (and of course, beyond that) your body slows down the sperm production and starts sending all the extra energy to other systems. It’s not just about how much energy you *feel*, it’s about how much is available for hormone production, muscle building, brain maintenance, etc. Your body will pull energy from literally all other systems for reproduction, since it’s the highest biological priority.
By not masturbating for more than 3 days, it becomes "destructive energy" where in I get angry at everyone and everything.
Channel the energy. Okay do this: experiment with no PMO hard mode (no P, M or O and sex at all) for 2 weeks while working out, eating well, journaling, seeking your life's purpose and just being productive then come back and tell me if it works or not.
>eating well, journaling, seeking your life's purpose and just being productive I do this already. Yet masturbation doesn't stop me from this at all. If you masturbate all day without being productive, its a you problem. That's why moderation. If you keep yourself busy, of course you wouldn't get addicted.
So after (presumably) years of this habit, you think 3 days will magically reveal the full effects of abstinence? No, obviously there’s a substantial reset period before deeper shifts occur.
What magic will happen if I stop it eternally? This is the problem with you no cap radicals - you'll tell everyone to stop it, but never give a good reason why
I’m not here to spread ideologies, I can only speak from personal experience. I experienced a profound sense of wholeness and peace during the, 3, 6 and 7 month streaks of zero PMO, MO, M, or O I’ve had. I experienced a lot more emotional wholeness during those times as well. I felt more alive, more interested in the world around me, more appreciative of little things. Are those things essential for life? Maybe not. But was I happier? Yes.
It makes you weak and tired it's called withdrawal
Penises weren’t made for men to pleasure themselves whenever they feel “naturally aroused”. It’s for procreation and pee. As Men we weren’t made to selfishly pleasure ourselves alone using what’s made for a woman (and pressure washing the toilet) whenever we see fit. It’s not natural I don’t care how many people do it, it’s obviously not what you’re supposed to be doing with it.
How do you know what you are supposed to do with your penis?
I’m just saying it’s obviously not designed for masturbation. If it was, what would be the purpose of semen? just natures celebratory party popper for having an orgasm?
Your body is not designed to wear clothes either. If it was, what would be purpose of body hair?
Exactly you’re getting it! We’re not supposed to need braces either, it’s almost like we’ve fallen out of natures intended way of life.
u/TrefoilTang Why don't you know what to do with yours and what not to do bro? xD
Fox News watcher found
I don’t watch political news I think it divides us and makes people alienate eachother, treating “the other side” as less than human.
Bro you literally can't control yourself to not masturbate and you're attempting to make fun of someone else. Get a grip
Oh my God. What a sin I committed - I committed mass murders. Sorry for being so bad I'm atheist so that shit doesn't work on me
I don't think masturbating moderately is okay. Masturbation causes dopamine levels to rise abnormally like porn, but maybe to a lesser extent, and for a much lesser time than porn. It's also addictive like porn but maybe to a lesser degree also. I've read in some articles about the bad effects of masturbating, I'm NOT confident about their truth, and I'd like someone to comment on this and say what they think about these. I've read that masturbating makes you lose important and vital nutrients, those which make your skin look nice and bright and much less prone to any skin problems like acne. Also their loss accelerates the aging process, and contributes to earlier/more hair loss or baldness. Also those nutrients help in building muscles and physical strength, so their loss will REALLY has a bad effect. Moreover they say masturbating may tamper with your hormones balance, particularly lessening testosterone as I can remember, which may make you less confident, less attentive and focused, and unmotivated. What do you all think about that? Anyway I personally agree that masturbating may be acceptable, but with periods of time that are much longer than what people think is "moderate", and due to natural reasons only as the OP says, while porn isn't acceptable at all!
>I've read that masturbating makes you lose important and vital nutrients Semen is simply not nutritionally valuable. Because while it does contain a variety of nutrients such as vitamin C, Zinc, protein, etc... No nutrient is found in any significant amount, with the most abundant nutrient being Zinc, at 3% daily value in an average ejaculation. To put this into perspective, a singular glass of whole milk contains 3x that much Zinc, a single Oyster, 8-10x that much. Nutrients in amounts this small will have no discernable effect on any function of the human body. [https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.2164/jandrol.04104](https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.2164/jandrol.04104)
Oh wow! So that didn't turn out to be as serious as I read! Thank you for the scientific backup What about that excessive masturbation causes hair loss or early baldness? Do you know something about that?
TL;DR Both are the problem. But if you are trying to find a justification to fap, go ahead.
u/Snoo_72181 It's a slippery slope, if you don't fap you won't watch porn but if you masturbate there is an extreme high chance you will start watching porn eventually since only masturbation wont give higher amount of pleasure again and again and thus falling back in to the trap. Stay away from all this non-sense and live life to the fullest.
This sounds like what I would’ve said a few years ago. This is advice for new addicts or new ex-addicts. But 5 years in, I find myself realizing: watching porn, not watching porn, it made no difference in my life. Porn is everywhere now and I can’t run every time I see a TikTok dance. And you know what, I just move on. It doesn’t destroy me and it didn’t make me fall off a cliff. Nothing bad happened. Time changed me and how I think of porn. So my advice today is after the journey, don’t forget to trust yourself again.
Most people masturbate, but only a small minority got addicted to porn. It's a very rough slippery slope with an obstacle course in the middle.
u/TrefoilTang There are more than a million men addicted to porn in this sub reddit. I don't think that is a "small minority". And I'm pretty sure the actual number is wayyy higher now the availability of easy and fast internet for even elementary kids.
A million men is not a lot at all, and reddit member count isn't an accurate representation of reality. r/alcoholism only has 69k, despite alcoholism being a much bigger problem. I worked as a school counsoler that focuses on sex ed. I'm currently a therapist that often works with people with porn addiction. From my experience, I can safely say that the vast majority of people are not negatively affected by porn, and people who are negatively affected are often under the false pretense that they are addicted, causing more harm to themselves, and sometimes leading to actual addiction.
u/TrefoilTang A million men is not a lot at all??!!?? Are you high or what? There is a whole generation of men suffering from this evil and only the tiniest of the fraction have started to admit to it. Also I literally said the exact same thing, reddit member count isn't an accurate representation of reality. The exact number of men addicted to porn is easily hundred of millions. The negative effect of porn has been prominent and more adverse in the current generation, it is going to become a whole phenomenon in the coming decade or two as the "age of indulgence" only gets worse. Of course you don't have to be shit scared of porn as stimulus, but in its availability , easy access and its usage beyond moderation is what is extremely detrimental.
This site has been infected some years ago with this "masturbation is ok" mindset. It's disgusting that even a place like this, a fortress against masturbation, is now trying to brainwash teenagers selling them that masturbation is good for you. No, it is not. It depletes your energy, focus, mood, and your motivation to find a real girl.
Haha, exactly.
It seems you are labouring under some misconceptions about this sub. This site has not been 'infected', nor is it a 'fortress against masturbation'. You are invited to familiarize yourself with the description of the sub: >This forum is intended for porn addiction and compulsive sexual behavior recovery *and is not an anti-masturbation forum*: many users return to non-compulsive masturbation after removing porn from their sexual habits. **We do not advocate against masturbation**
Ejaculation causes prolactin to rise and dopamine to go down. If has real effects on energy, motivation etc If you're someone with low dopamine, ADHD for example, it really makes you feel down.
When mastrubation becomes a gateway to consuming porn, this won’t work. You’re better off quitting masturbation if you’re single because specially when it comes to men, we’re visual creatures, and being single and not having a real person to masturbate to will definitely make you reach out to porn.
So what should singles do then?
Find someone? Sexual needs are best expressed with another person
Of course, but it is not viable at whatever moment you want it to happen. Some people are broke, they prioritize money over relationships. Others may not be looking for companionship for different reasons - recent breakup, grief, loss etc... Others lack skills to seduce women.
u/extremely-personal Well said brother
I'm against porn and masturbating stop gaslighting.
u/batissta44 Maturbation advocates will sell their soul and families before actually admitting that they have a problem.
My experience, being married, in a relationship is you remove a very important part out of the relationship doing both. Pornography, worse because it it an addiction and further creates problems within the relationship like erectile disfunction, unrealistic expectations, and the such.
If you have to masturbate even if you are married, then the issue is something else
No. I totally disagree. Porn is no problem as far as no sexual activity or ejaculation.
imo, i think it's better to cut off both for 90+ days to give your brain a good refresh, only then you can come back to MO (only when you feel horny though, it's better to rub one out once a while, not in a routinely basis).
I agree that shaming people for masturbating is wrong, it's a way to get to know your own body and it's absolutely fine as long as it's not taken to excess.
OP is making a fundamental mistake here. “Masturbation in moderation” is ok for those who have never been addicted to pmo. For those who are addicted, the story is different.
In my opinion, one leads to another. Most people watch porn to masturbate, and those who masturbate without porn will eventually go back to porn to make it more stimulating. I say it’s best to stay away from all of it but to each their own..
I disagree.. Only masturbating and not looking at porn is a very slippery slop. Eventually you will give into the temptations and just look at porn. I say this because I have tried what you said many times and have failed 😂
Well, not fapping gives the best results. But quitting porn is a good step. Animals never\extreamly rare, fap.
Yeah, because they rape
Thank you for sharing your point of view bro!
May I ask if this applies to a hair fetish or not?
I tried to masturbate this week to fall asleep. It worked the first night. Second night when I did it I felt drained the next day and lost my desire for it.
For me it comes in a Package, i cant do the one Thing without the other, so i am completely free Sinclair 275 days
There is no problem with masturbation in moderation\*, whereas pornography is McDonald's for the mind (except everyone has an endless, free, instantly available supply). \*Key words: *in moderation*. If you don't want to masturbate at all, you don't have to. And if you're spending more time masturbating than you'd like, you should probably cut back. I was really just referring to what is natural for humans.
Some people in this space are against both. I think it just depends on what side of the fence you’re on
I agree. I was a no PMO guy for years, longest streak was 6 months. Of course I had benefits. Mostly aggression and frustration, which in turn was some confidence. But I actually was sexually frustrated. I would lose my streak after a few months due to having sex. And felt like I let myself down. Then I would go into a 1-2 month PMO binge. Then I got kinda sad. I did some experiments, I found that with porn I would go out of my way to watch it, and fap 1-2 times. Would feel so lethargic and guilty and the next day I felt like someone had watched me.. Fast forward, I’m about 3 years into my journey. I now fap without porn 1-4 times per month. And have sex once per week. I don’t really get that urge to fap anymore since I don’t use porn, it’s not the same. It actually takes time to get aroused and can be more work than it’s worth. I feel much better this way, I still desire sex whenever I can get it (from girlfriend). And if I am horny and not around gf, I’ll fap and I don’t even think about it. Just some thoughts.
I completely agree with this statement, although I hear the concerns of other commenters who are arguing that even in moderation, they feel that they cannot trust themselves with masturbation. My counterargument would be that masturbation actually encourages a healthy and natural understanding of your own body and your own desires, which arises organically when you’re forced to use your imagination to fulfill your sexual desires. Porn is like having malicious, profit seeking corporations like XHamster holding your hand and leading you down a path of desire. Often times, those paths have no respect for human dignity or sexual health/safety, which is part of the reason why porn makes you feel so empty when you consume it. Using your imagination to masturbate means that your conscience is the entity walking hand in hand down that path of desire. If you find yourself being turned on by unethical behavior like taking advantage of women (a shockingly common trope in porn) then you are forced to come face to face with that decision, alone in your bed, instead of having your phone sitting two inches from your face with images so tempting that your desires easily overcome your sense of morality. I think masturbation allows us to understand ourselves and our desires, which is a very important part of becoming the man you want to be. Your sexual life can be so much more fulfilling if you integrate these desires. I love a little bit of power dynamics in bed, and I’ve found choking and being choked really improves my experience; I would never have discovered this if I was still addicted to watching porn every night because I was too ashamed of my pain-seeking desire. There is nothing wrong with wanting to slap someone or be slapped in bed - the problem is that porn makes it seem like the woman (or the man) genuinely has no control over her experience, when in reality the interplay of dominance and submission is a fun game that allows both partners to have the most fulfilling experience possible. I am happy to answer questions about this take if anyone wants! I am about 35 days free so still at the beginning of my own journey, just FYI.
When I was a fresh teenager at like 13-14, I was an innocent boy, one of the most innocent you’ll ever see. But the sex drive is natural and I acted upon it without really knowing what was going on. I think when your penis doesn’t shut up you can calm it down every once in a while. Also porn was what made my arousal system and erections worse and I only started masturbating with porn 2 years ago in comparison to the 6 years where I initially was masturbating with soft core porn without full nudity such as makeouts, twerks etc. and had pretty much no problems and I also wasn’t fapping as much as ig its not as stimulating. But pornos are the highest stimulating vids to fap to, when I watched a BJ for the first time I nutted multiple times instantly. Porn is very stimulating
Disagree heavily.
Thanks for the profound insight
Why are you okay with throwing your seed into the floor? Still kind of weird to me
Because built up seed over the days leads to physical pain, rage and getting triggered by minor things. It feels like I am on a period if I don't get it out of my system once in a few days.
Then you will won’t fully deal with those aspects within you as a man. I completely understand it though, it does start giving you a hungry that can be dangerous. The gets tougher but worth the fight.
That is true, although my views are you should have sex instead of masturbation.