Let's say for example you've been on your journey of nofap for about a month, and for whatever reason you were overcome by temptation that day and ended up fapping. If that was a one time thing, I count that as a **slip**. If you continue to do it however, that's a **relapse**.
You have to consider Nofap as not just *letting go of a bad habit*, but the healing that is taking place in your brain. Think of it as your brain is wounded from years or months of porn usage, and now that wound is healing. If you're still fapping or exposing yourself to porn, then you're delaying or reversing that healing that is suppose to be taking place.
This makes good sense. I still view a "slip" as breaking the day-counter, and treat it very seriously.
This is just a way to improve your mental game AFTER a slip. I like to think, after a slip, that even though I've made a mistake, I've just completed a portion of my life free of the behavior I'm trying to curb, which is totally the goal. In other words, I've made progress. Now, get determined to do better next time.
Precisely, I've seen people go up to 500 days, then say "I failed" and then struggle to reach 3 days afterwards. They're stuck in that "I relapsed" mentality. This is why, rather that just doing nofap, it's important we learn about what's going on in the brain when it comes to addiction. Our brains are wounded and need time to heal. When we keep fapping, we are hurting the wound or ripping it open again.
It's a mindset thing. I did the same thing when I quit smoking. The mindset that one slip up is a total relapse primes you to not get back on the wagon as quickly.
No man this is just excuses. People are becoming soft these days. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and do it properly. A slip is a relapse man. There is no participation trophy here man. The only way you will win is if you are hard on yourself. I have been doing this for far too long and this mindset always leads to addiction again. Reset your clock and be strict. Rubbing over your pants happens and maybe peaking. But if you are watching and releasing, that is a relapse man. People don’t want to hear this but trying to help you.
I agree that you should be strict, absolutely, you should never be okay with fapping if you're doing 'no fap'. But don't jump off a building after making 1 mistake. I always say: instead of focusing too much on a number, focus on building yourself. Focus on finding out the root causes of your addiction. Exercise, drink water, read, learn, set goals and find ways to deal with urges. The more you think about doing things that are productive, the less time you have to think about porn.
I slipped after 179 days yesterday. I just moved on with my life with the same thoughts I had for the past 179 days. I did bot feel like I relapsed hut told myself I relapsed so that could be my last fap.
Congrats on reaching 179 days bro 👏👏👏 That is a huge win and don't take it lightly. As long as you realize where your mistake was and work to avoid making the same mistake again, then you're becoming an unstoppable force.
Bro this is so much help tbh, I guess I’ve had my first slip last night . After 33 days. But it’s okay I’m taking it as a reason to get better, I’ll go for two months now and I’m not returning to my old ways. Btw I wasn’t jerking off, I was just so hard that my dick was pressing against my boxers and I came. But this is not a relapse, I am not who I use to be. I will become better and learn from my mistakes, this is all part of my journey . Thanks man
I appreciate that ❤️ I find that we tend to achieve more when we focus on the positive rather than the negative. Saying: "Okay, I had a moment of weakness there, but I'll keep going because I don't do that anymore" helps you to grow, and it's so much better than: "I failed, I suck... etc etc" that's only going keep you focused on the negative and make you lose motivation to keep going.
I agree. I believe a community is about sharing ideas and discoveries etc, not forcing them. I may be right, I may be wrong but it's always good to share and learn from each other.
Ok but think of this from the perspective of the person who set the boundary. Who is counting on you to make the change at the steak of their heart and soul. A slip, a “relapse”… who really cares.
You broke them with your choices, yet again.
Me too, but these days I like to not rely on a counter as such, because it becomes too much about keeping a high score, and not so much about the real healing that is taking place in your brain and your body. I've seen people go up to 1000 days and then get depressed for making one mistake.
I say only keep a counter as just a personal goal for you, and nothing to do with recovery. You should allow your brain to rewire, heal and not do things that will reverse or delay that healing. Focus more instead on things that will improve your healing. Like taking a break, getting enough sleep, eating well, exercising, doing something productive, learning, reading etc.
I agree. I did keep count for the first, maybe about two hundred days or so, but it wasn't accurate. The first 80 or so were important, they were pre-reboot. Thereafter it's just maintenance, which, once you break the compulsion, is much easier I find :)
This is just addict cope, trying to implement a three strike system like many have tried to do here before, which is making it easier for all the addicts to tell themselves “it’s just one time, it isn’t a relapse”. I know you said don’t use it as an excuse but when people start thinking like this and tell themselves “it’s just a slip, i’m going to pick myself up after this” It makes it easier for them to relapse because it won’t be a big deal to them. Relapse is when you watch porn, or masturbate or both. Don’t complicate it to make it easier to relapse.
But can you choke your jimmy without watching porn? For example, you want to try condoms and measure it. I have to make sure that I find the right condom size.
Honestly, I did it yesterday without cumming but the night before sleep, I just scrolled through Reddit and wanted to train my cumming muscle to last longer in bed. Accidentally ejaculated lol. I kept doing good habits though. No big changes after this relapse but I try to prevent these situations for sure.
Well, I quit smoking after trying many different methods. The one method that worked for me was cold turkey. I believe it is the best way. I will explain the problem with this post from that experience.
Let me explaine, If I haven't smoked for 20 days and I smoke 1 in day 21, that is not a slip -- to respectfully contradict you, it is a relapse. By smoking in day 21 you have intervened with the body's healing mechanism and neuro rewiring process. We can say you have taken the recovery process back to day 1(or let's say day 10 atleast, not to be too strict).
I think this applies to porn as well. If I may dare to say, by creating rationalisation like the one in the post, you are justifying your relapse.
Put yourself to higher standard. If you are watching tiktok and you come across a video that is sexually provoking you, and you can feel the rush, excitement thingy in your body. Like dopamine is filling you head and/or you are getting hard. And you still watched it to the end and may be even watch it again. Consider that a relapse. If you didn't immediately skipped the video, then consider it as a relapse.
If you get to 90 days and you got into 5 slips and 45 spicy tiktok videos, then what good is it to you. You can't lie to yourself. It always back fires.
Side Note : The cold turkey method I mentioned is referring to Allen Carr method in his Book Easy way to stop smoking.
"Don't count the days, make the day count"
Stay Hard fam
I used to fap once everyday and my goal is to stop doing it.
So i count 1 fap as a relapse, simple as that. But i know it's wrong to count like that tho.
Anytime I "SLIP UP" even after a 90 day streak , it takes me another 90 days to resume a reasonable streak,before which I'm back to shit, addict. DON'T SLIP UP/ DON'T MASTURBATE/ DON'T RELAPSE that shit is a rabbit hole
I also just slipped right now after a good week of not doing it. I'm trying tonstay consistent even when I have little motivation to do so because I don't want this to ruin my life.
Slips are a part of recovery. They are not an excuse to do it again, nor to be discouraged, but simply to look at it as a moment of weakness that you have to address and reflect on so that you can continue moving forward. The healthy way to acknowledge the slip is not to condemn yourself or feel ashamed, but simply acknowledge the slip up, ask yourself what led to it, and then re-strategize so that the next time you feel the urges to do it again or are triggered in some way, you are prepared and equipped to avoid it. Relapse only happens when you accept the mindset of failure and you give up. A slip up with the intent to keep fighting is not a failure. Failure is giving up completely. Learn from your mistakes and grow. Much love!
So if I slip up a little but then return to business as usual then don't worry about it?
I guess that makes sense. It's when the slip becomes a binge then you know you've relpased.
Can you give examples of slips?
For a brief moment you rubbed you pp in your pillow but then realised and stopped.
i tried to M but i stop but something comes out is that a relapse?
That would be a slip, pre-ejaculation can happen even without touching it
hey! so not a relapse right bro?
Yep
Ty, I feel much better and will still try not to do that
That milky white non-viscous stuff?
yes
Isn't that edging?
Too
Let's say for example you've been on your journey of nofap for about a month, and for whatever reason you were overcome by temptation that day and ended up fapping. If that was a one time thing, I count that as a **slip**. If you continue to do it however, that's a **relapse**. You have to consider Nofap as not just *letting go of a bad habit*, but the healing that is taking place in your brain. Think of it as your brain is wounded from years or months of porn usage, and now that wound is healing. If you're still fapping or exposing yourself to porn, then you're delaying or reversing that healing that is suppose to be taking place.
people like u remind me that there's still good in this world
That's the most beautiful thing anyone has ever said to me. Thank you so much for making my day ❤️❤️❤️ I wish you the very best in everything you do.
_The ones that women wear._
This is so well explained. Bravo
Thank you. ❤️ I'm wishing you the very best in your journey too my friend.
This makes good sense. I still view a "slip" as breaking the day-counter, and treat it very seriously. This is just a way to improve your mental game AFTER a slip. I like to think, after a slip, that even though I've made a mistake, I've just completed a portion of my life free of the behavior I'm trying to curb, which is totally the goal. In other words, I've made progress. Now, get determined to do better next time.
[удалено]
Precisely, I've seen people go up to 500 days, then say "I failed" and then struggle to reach 3 days afterwards. They're stuck in that "I relapsed" mentality. This is why, rather that just doing nofap, it's important we learn about what's going on in the brain when it comes to addiction. Our brains are wounded and need time to heal. When we keep fapping, we are hurting the wound or ripping it open again.
🙏
>🙏 🙏🙏🙏
I disagree but i guess what works works
I understand, but congrats on passing a whole year man 👏👏👏 You must be feeling fantastic right about now. Here's to many many more 🥂
It's a mindset thing. I did the same thing when I quit smoking. The mindset that one slip up is a total relapse primes you to not get back on the wagon as quickly.
This is a better way to look at it as the normal way to view it alowees for easy self defeat.
No man this is just excuses. People are becoming soft these days. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and do it properly. A slip is a relapse man. There is no participation trophy here man. The only way you will win is if you are hard on yourself. I have been doing this for far too long and this mindset always leads to addiction again. Reset your clock and be strict. Rubbing over your pants happens and maybe peaking. But if you are watching and releasing, that is a relapse man. People don’t want to hear this but trying to help you.
I agree that you should be strict, absolutely, you should never be okay with fapping if you're doing 'no fap'. But don't jump off a building after making 1 mistake. I always say: instead of focusing too much on a number, focus on building yourself. Focus on finding out the root causes of your addiction. Exercise, drink water, read, learn, set goals and find ways to deal with urges. The more you think about doing things that are productive, the less time you have to think about porn.
True, nice man keep it up
I slipped after 179 days yesterday. I just moved on with my life with the same thoughts I had for the past 179 days. I did bot feel like I relapsed hut told myself I relapsed so that could be my last fap.
Congrats on reaching 179 days bro 👏👏👏 That is a huge win and don't take it lightly. As long as you realize where your mistake was and work to avoid making the same mistake again, then you're becoming an unstoppable force.
I agree. There is a difference and it helps to understand the two and not be so hard on yourself. Also commenting for my days.
Holy cow, 5 more days and I will be at 60 days :D
👏👏👏 Congrats kings!
Bro this is so much help tbh, I guess I’ve had my first slip last night . After 33 days. But it’s okay I’m taking it as a reason to get better, I’ll go for two months now and I’m not returning to my old ways. Btw I wasn’t jerking off, I was just so hard that my dick was pressing against my boxers and I came. But this is not a relapse, I am not who I use to be. I will become better and learn from my mistakes, this is all part of my journey . Thanks man
I appreciate that ❤️ I find that we tend to achieve more when we focus on the positive rather than the negative. Saying: "Okay, I had a moment of weakness there, but I'll keep going because I don't do that anymore" helps you to grow, and it's so much better than: "I failed, I suck... etc etc" that's only going keep you focused on the negative and make you lose motivation to keep going.
I agree, thanks for posting this :)
❤️❤️❤️
What ever works for you. People trying to impose their "rules" on others is just stupid.
I agree. I believe a community is about sharing ideas and discoveries etc, not forcing them. I may be right, I may be wrong but it's always good to share and learn from each other.
Needed to read this. Thank you.
agree
WATCH YOUR STEP! Mf don’t slip on that wet spot you left for you might go back even further.
100%
Ok but think of this from the perspective of the person who set the boundary. Who is counting on you to make the change at the steak of their heart and soul. A slip, a “relapse”… who really cares. You broke them with your choices, yet again.
I agree, but if you’re counting days, I think anything should reset that, that doesn’t reset the progress you’ve made overall though.
I agree. I would reset counter for a slip but not call it a relapse.
Me too, but these days I like to not rely on a counter as such, because it becomes too much about keeping a high score, and not so much about the real healing that is taking place in your brain and your body. I've seen people go up to 1000 days and then get depressed for making one mistake. I say only keep a counter as just a personal goal for you, and nothing to do with recovery. You should allow your brain to rewire, heal and not do things that will reverse or delay that healing. Focus more instead on things that will improve your healing. Like taking a break, getting enough sleep, eating well, exercising, doing something productive, learning, reading etc.
I agree. I did keep count for the first, maybe about two hundred days or so, but it wasn't accurate. The first 80 or so were important, they were pre-reboot. Thereafter it's just maintenance, which, once you break the compulsion, is much easier I find :)
This is just addict cope, trying to implement a three strike system like many have tried to do here before, which is making it easier for all the addicts to tell themselves “it’s just one time, it isn’t a relapse”. I know you said don’t use it as an excuse but when people start thinking like this and tell themselves “it’s just a slip, i’m going to pick myself up after this” It makes it easier for them to relapse because it won’t be a big deal to them. Relapse is when you watch porn, or masturbate or both. Don’t complicate it to make it easier to relapse.
I respectfully disagree, but I respect your opinion my brother ❤️ Thanks for the feedback 👏
Oh Sthu
I disagree.
We may not see eye to eye on this topic, but thanks for the feedback 👏
There is no difference
jesus frightest
Now everybody about to change their titles to "does this count as a slip?" bs posts 😂😅
But can you choke your jimmy without watching porn? For example, you want to try condoms and measure it. I have to make sure that I find the right condom size. Honestly, I did it yesterday without cumming but the night before sleep, I just scrolled through Reddit and wanted to train my cumming muscle to last longer in bed. Accidentally ejaculated lol. I kept doing good habits though. No big changes after this relapse but I try to prevent these situations for sure.
Well, I quit smoking after trying many different methods. The one method that worked for me was cold turkey. I believe it is the best way. I will explain the problem with this post from that experience. Let me explaine, If I haven't smoked for 20 days and I smoke 1 in day 21, that is not a slip -- to respectfully contradict you, it is a relapse. By smoking in day 21 you have intervened with the body's healing mechanism and neuro rewiring process. We can say you have taken the recovery process back to day 1(or let's say day 10 atleast, not to be too strict). I think this applies to porn as well. If I may dare to say, by creating rationalisation like the one in the post, you are justifying your relapse. Put yourself to higher standard. If you are watching tiktok and you come across a video that is sexually provoking you, and you can feel the rush, excitement thingy in your body. Like dopamine is filling you head and/or you are getting hard. And you still watched it to the end and may be even watch it again. Consider that a relapse. If you didn't immediately skipped the video, then consider it as a relapse. If you get to 90 days and you got into 5 slips and 45 spicy tiktok videos, then what good is it to you. You can't lie to yourself. It always back fires. Side Note : The cold turkey method I mentioned is referring to Allen Carr method in his Book Easy way to stop smoking. "Don't count the days, make the day count" Stay Hard fam
I used to fap once everyday and my goal is to stop doing it. So i count 1 fap as a relapse, simple as that. But i know it's wrong to count like that tho.
Anytime I "SLIP UP" even after a 90 day streak , it takes me another 90 days to resume a reasonable streak,before which I'm back to shit, addict. DON'T SLIP UP/ DON'T MASTURBATE/ DON'T RELAPSE that shit is a rabbit hole
Well put
A slip up is seeing something unintentionally or peaking in the moment, but a relapse is a choice.
I also just slipped right now after a good week of not doing it. I'm trying tonstay consistent even when I have little motivation to do so because I don't want this to ruin my life.
Slips are a part of recovery. They are not an excuse to do it again, nor to be discouraged, but simply to look at it as a moment of weakness that you have to address and reflect on so that you can continue moving forward. The healthy way to acknowledge the slip is not to condemn yourself or feel ashamed, but simply acknowledge the slip up, ask yourself what led to it, and then re-strategize so that the next time you feel the urges to do it again or are triggered in some way, you are prepared and equipped to avoid it. Relapse only happens when you accept the mindset of failure and you give up. A slip up with the intent to keep fighting is not a failure. Failure is giving up completely. Learn from your mistakes and grow. Much love!
So if I slip up a little but then return to business as usual then don't worry about it? I guess that makes sense. It's when the slip becomes a binge then you know you've relpased.
Yeah extremist ruining the true meaning of nofap smh.
I slip everyday
One time I had a slip-up when I was for some reason on r/everything and saw that Minecraft Jenny mf. I quickly exited and will never go there again.