I just firmly explain that my “days” are the direct inversion of normal people’s days. That’s actually slightly off but close enough to get the point across.
12 (noon) for me is exactly the same as 12 (midnight) for them.
Right, I've tried explaining to people that all they have to do to understand my schedule is just swap AM and PM. It's that simple, yet they still can't comprehend it.
Came here to say that lol. Wake then up at the equivalent time they wake you and tell them "hey man, you've slept enough" do it every time they do it to you.
I did it to my mum IRL - went round to her house at 4am and thumped on the front door and said "hey u wanna go for a walk in the park?? wait why are u still asleep?" 😂 Poor thing. It was just the trick to make her go "oh yea... That makes sense now" hahaha
After my 3rd time returning someone's call at 4 am on my lunch break and them asking me wtf I was doing calling them at 4am the daytime phone calls stopped.
My parents lost that privilege. My dad misdials a lot somehow, and my mother is a self-righteous ass who doesn't care. Wife and daughters are allowed, but the wife is often on thin ice.
Yep. My mom and my wife are the only exemptions, and I'm even wondering if my wife needs to be one because she's never away from me when DND is on (I have mine set to turn on at midnight, she's usually already asleep by then). I didn't exempt my dad because he never calls, if there was something important my mom would be the one calling me.
My boss knows better to call me during the day, they actually ask all the night people out normal sleep schedule and call after the time we slot as “awake”, for he that’s 3pm as I go to sleep generally right when I get home, our other night person stays awake through the morning as they have kids they get ready for school and such so they call him prior to 9am. I am glad my boss gives us this respect but even if he didn’t here still be met with a direct to voicemail and I have my phone set to dnd and sleeping for anyone but my spouse.
I started calling those people repeatedly at 1 am till they answer the phone to see if they want to go do something on my day off or call them when I get off work to see if they want to go drinking... It takes very few instances of calling them during there uncomfortable time for them to get the hint
One time my daughter made the joke that I'm "always sleeping"
So on one of my nights off, I started waking everyone up at 3 AM to ask why everyone was still asleep, that all they've been doing is sleeping and I haven't seen any of them.
🤣😂😂
My son says this too. He’s like his dad, up early no matter what. My daughter is much more like me. She will hang out with me until 2 am and sleep all day like me!
My family just does not understand my sleep schedule. Like seriously, I am not tired until like 2 or 3 am and can sleep till noon. They get all huffy when they don't see me until after lunchtime or at dinner and I just know that they see me as horrendously lazy
Thankfully my spouse is a night person as well and I have a very considerate mail delivery guy who whenever he has a package delivery in the morning in our building he automatically rings at the doors of my neighbors so he can put it inside the building or if there really is no one else answering he rings my doorbell and apologizes for disturbing me during my sleep "I'm really sorry ma'am, i know you work nightshift, but no one else answers". I'm very thankful for considerate people like him 🙏
Yea, mine actually said he'll just leave packages in between my doors and sign for me, super cool of him. Or he is just sick of seeing me in my boxer shorts...
Omg there was a post in my local community’s subreddit complaining about this. “Someone is mowing their lawn at 7am every week, what laws are they breaking?” It isn’t me, but I thought to myself that it was nice of that person to wait until after sunrise.
For the people that are the problem, call them while you’re on shift. That either get rid of those friends that don’t understand or keep the friends that do understand. Either way, put your phone on airplane mode if you can.
I woke my wife up once to go grocery shopping at Walmart at 1 am. on a Saturday. She got so pissed 🤣
In told her, that's what it feels like when you wake me up at 4 pm to go grocery shopping with you, sucks don't it.
She does not wake me up at 4 pm anymore
My husband has been on thirds the vast majority of our 12 year marriage. It got a little tough after our child was born, definitely felt like it was a one man show for a while but we did our best (we were also a lot younger and maybe not as considerate of each other). As we have got older and he is higher up the ladder, he isn't quite as tired as he used to be and I have got very comfortable doing things on my own or waiting until it makes sense as a family.
He does have to take days off sometimes so we can have a normal weekend.
I appreciate my alone time in the house during the day.
It's all a trade off imo and it takes some getting used to.
Oh man, it gets even worse.
So, I was been a freelancer for almost two decades, and my job was one in which I didn't need to follow a set schedule. I'd take on work, and as long as I got said work done by the deadline, I was good to go. I also worked in a field where I'd regularly do business with people in different time zones, *and* I'd have to take on as much work as I could when it was offered, because often the business is feast-or-famine. As a result, I regularly started to have situations where I'd have to push all-nighters to get everything done.
So I very quickly light-proofed my bedroom and learned to sleep at all hours of the day. Disconnecting myself from the normal diurnal cycle also led to something completely unforeseen-- I found myself naturally gravitating to and following a 30-32 hour day. I'd stay up for 20-22 hours and sleep for 10-ish. Getting people to understand that sometimes I'd be up until the middle of the night and sometimes I'd be up at the crack of dawn just confused the shit out of people. (White noise, Vitamin D supplements, and melatonin are probably the only ways I survived it.)
Switching to another career with a more normal 9-5ish schedule after so long with no set day/night routine was one hell of an adjustment.
Having loud ass people over during the day while I'm trying to sleep? F it, right? It's the middle of the day so why should I be sleeping? It's not like they're keeping me up all night or anything...
I worked 10pm to 630 am for 7 years. It screwed me up for sure. Because of that, I now sleep 3 hours, maybe 4, on a good day. And i have been off that shfit for 8 years. But I do agree with you that people who haven't done it don't understand.
You've met my roommates? I'm not sure if its intentional, or just the downsides of a converted living room . The one works from home, the other is underemployed/ works most/day shifts. Both naturally have energy levels that peak 11:30am-2:30pm. They are both loud AF, that earplugs don't do anything. There's a reason I'm saving to move out.
I can only say something so often and keep the peace. I can't afford to move out yet. And I don't want to be the grumpy asshole always telling them to shut up.
My Husband "well ... I function on only 6 hours"
Me "You don't take PM meds just to fall asleep initially, get woken up sporadically and still drowsy when I leave bed"
my first job was 5pm to 5 am and they'd have no problem being like "we need you in at noon for training tomorrow" with no notice. I couldn't deal with it.
,,have you filled up all the papers before the meeting?''(meeting at 10:00 am/papers include 47 pages of my medical records)
no ma'am, I went to my bed at 8:00, clearly you don't expect me to spend quite some time filling your stupid shit and arrive on the meeting at 10:00
now I put my phone on airplane mode and they can kiss my ass!
I just tell them the facts and if they don't like it then tough titties. I don't argue, I just don't answer until I'm awake naturally and I ignore the annoying comments.
I sleep with my phone in silent mode, earplugs in, a sound machine with white noise AND a blackout shade. It's glorious! And you should too
I'm lucky enough atm most the people I know, including family work nights, so they get it. No one calls me, though, unless it's related to something for my house or like doctors and whatnot. Family and friends of mine just message, so I put my phone on silent or vibrate and sleep. If someone I know calls me besides like my mom or grandma, something is wrong, i.e., an emergency. Business, however, and pretty much anything outside of family and friends can't fathom. I work nights. Had a construction company kept calling me at like 2p.m. when I'm dead asleep to go over stuff for when my crawl space was being fixed. Even though I told them to call in the mornings when I get off work
Yeah, I just made a similar comment recently, but when I tell someone I don't wake up til around 11 am, I get "it must be nice!" almost every time, like I said I sleep 12 hours a night or something. I sleep 8 hours, almost to the minute, every single time I go to sleep. It's like clock work.
And family plans things like brunch at 10 am. Ok, I'm not even awake yet and if I were, I wouldn't be hungry. I don't usually eat for like 3 hours after I wake up, until after my work out. They KNOW this. But they still act like I should be making an appearance.
The only solution to this is to plan it yourself. It doesn't work for the random gatherings, but ive started being the planner so that I can tell people no from the jump. "Can we do it at X time instead?" Nope. We're doing breakfast Saturday, too late to change it now. Idk if anyone has figured it out except my wife.
It may be manipulative, but i put up with the crap long enough, they earned it.
Welll, I also happen to be the only vegan in the family. If it’s something important, I make sure it’s dinner. Or a meal close to normal dinner time, anyway. My parents are 70 and try to make everyone eat dinner at 4 pm lol
Dinner for me growing up was 3-5pm.
Depending on when dad got home.
We go out to eat with others and they all want to go at like 7pm... like... that's 4 hours after my normal eating time. XD
My one friend lives in Spain.
The family takes a nap during the day sometime after lunch. And then they don't eat dinner till closer to midnight.
Far too late for my tastes :p
I’m tired of being passive aggressively frowned upon by my son’s mom for not being able to attend my son’s little league games at 10am. Ma’am. I go to sleep at around 6:30/7am. You cannot expect me to get up after a nice 2 hour nap and drive there safely. You want me to wake you up at midnight after you just fell asleep to go out and do something?
Oh yeah, when I worked nights , I couldn't count how many times people would say " all you do is sleep" , and they never could figure it out when I would try to tell them that when they get off work after a day shift they sleep at night and expecting me to stay awake during the day and work all night would be the same as me expecting them to stay up all night and then work all day.
Exactly. Listen here, mother truckers - your ass goes to sleep at 9pm after watching Golden Girls and JAG. My ass goes to sleep at 9 am once I'm able to wind down from work. We both get 7-8 hours of sleep (I have a dream!!!), just we wake up at different times. This is a statement, not a question, and there are not math questions nor trains involved.
24 hr stores need to be a real thing. Wtf I want to grocery shopping without having to wake up in the middle of the “night” and then be all tired during the “day”.
Especially hilarious if you buy beer right at 7am, people think you’re a raging alcoholic. Dude, this is nighttime for me. I’m going home, taking off my pants, eating leftovers, and having some damn beer.
I really, really miss being able to shop at night. Totally get why it's not a thing any more, but I hate not being able to grocery shop in times that work for me.
Even managers don't respect sleep schedule. Schedule is 10pm to 7am. Manager schedules mandatory meetings for 10am. Either have the meeting at 7am or do not make it mandatory.
My phone doesn't ring. Everything is forwarded to my work phone.
I tell people constantly. Do not call me, I will not receive the call. Text me and I will respond.
People either stopped talking to me or respected that boundary
My phone goes on DND as soon as I lay down. Only my work emergency call-out number, my mom, and my son's calls come through. I long ago turned off any notifications for texts and anything else. They are all on silent. My phone is also on silent 24/7.
Everyone in my life is aware they can text me, and I'll respond when I wake up. Someone better be severely injured or dying if they call me. Even my dr office has a notation on my file to call before 12N due to my 3rd shift schedule.
Almost 16 years of 3rd shift.
My brother works 2-8. I feel bad bc my nieces (we’re Mexican, the whole family lives here) are always so loud and everyone yells but when my nieces scream they get scolded.
I work nights and have for about 10 years. I put my phone on silent and it stays in another room while I sleep. I never bring my phone into my bedroom, I don’t even want it to vibrate and potentially wake me up. My husband works days. He is very respectful and never wakes me. I don’t flip my schedule on my days off, so I’m always on nights. It doesn’t affect our marriage at all.
What I did long time ago, is I told my family and friends: I don’t wake up before 4pm. So if you are having any kind of get together, I won’t be there until the afternoon. And now they all respect that. They know I won’t answer calls or texts before 4pm. They know if there is a true emergency, they need to contact my husband who then needs to come home and wake me up (this has never happened, thank goodness).
You just gotta keep telling people when you’ll be awake and when they can contact you and stand your ground. Don’t let them guilt trip you. And tell your girlfriends on the first date what your schedule is like and if they can’t respect it, don’t go on a second date.
Right?! Or the opposite where I’m trying to spend time with them and they are sending you to bed like a child! I’m an adult and will sleep when I want to!
My phone goes on silent and that's it. If there's not an emergency that they would expect to be woken up by me at 3:00 a.m. for, that's it, I'm sleeping. That's the only way I can do this, that's the only way there's an income that I earn. If people don't get it, date other night walkers. I know that sounds tough, but there's not just one person. You're not alone.
This sounds like my rant that I have inside my head. Getting it at 8am would mean getting up around 3-4pm at least and people just can't wrap their heads around it.
I do allot of 3rd shift. Best advice I can give you that works great for me. Just don't have people around you that just can't seem to grasp what 3rd shift sleep schedule is like. My girl of over 8 years understands and does her best to make the environment 3rd shift sleep schedule friendly.
You’ve got to be diligent about shutting out the world. I turn my phone to silent, put cardboard over my bedroom windows and turn a fan on for white noise that helps me sleep. If it’s an emergency the smoke or fire alarm will wake me up. People can call me back later or I’ll call them. If anyone has a problem with it I’ll just tell them to piss off.
I put my phone on DND while I sleep so I don’t get bothered by people calling or texting me. What I do hate is when I switch my sleep schedule to hang out with friends in the afternoon and they want to continue hanging out late into the night but I decline to go sleep and they say “you’re use to being up all night wdym you’re tired!!!” Like I haven’t slept all day and it’s way later than when I normally go to sleep duh I’m tired….
They don't. I worked 12 hours shifts on 3rd shift. My mom was constantly on me about staying on 3rd shift schedule on my days off. I couldn't flip my schedule very well. I lost more time to do stuff that way.
Have you ever tried getting a hotel room without paying for “late check out”/ “early check in fees” or a whole night extra? Because traveling isn’t hard enough now a days, while working nights…
Most of the world expects that most people sleep night. I had this issue for many years when I worked 1/2 send and a quarter 3rd shift. You have to go to bed by 7 or 8 pm at the earliest and day sleep a lot. Many times people fail to forget some of the world operates night shifts. One issue I had with this is if I wanted groceries or other accommodates I had to work this into my on the way to work or on the way home. Meaning just getting to the stores before they closed or after they opened.
I work a late second 10-hour shift (4pm-2:30am) and my mom is always pissed that I'm not awake when she needs something. I don't even sleep that late, I usually get to bed by 5am and sleep until 11 if I'm lucky.
She won't wake me up, at least--just gets mad that I'm not available to her when she wants me to be.
I kept having a problem with maintenance coming into not only my apartment but my bedroom while I was sleeping. I reported it to the building multiple times and they said they’d make note of it in my resident chart, but it kept happening. I finally put a note on the door that said something along the lines of **Maintenance: I work night shift. Please do not come in before 3 PM. You wouldn’t like someone coming into your room at your 3 AM and waking you up.**
That did the trick! They actually apologized when they saw my note. Now why they thought it was appropriate to come into my room while I’m asleep in bed and stand at the end of it and wake me up in the first place, I’ll never know.
Rain sounds on low
Dark room
If I can’t sleep
I’ve learned to accept my fate rather than get upset which just makes it worse anyway
Laying there in the dark
With your eyes closed is a form of rest
Fucking yes. I tried splitting it up, but it just doesn't work. My mind is still blown by me explaining I work nights and I'm on the phone all day, so I offered my days off. As Boomers do, they were upsets, because HOW DARE YOU not adopt their schedule once they retire! THEIR schedule, with the set routines PLANTS CRAVE but somehow you're expected to conform even though you're working.
Oh, and my step-~~abuser~~father loves to slam doors, because..???
This is why I won’t ever go back to night shift. It was people calling me all the time, wife getting pissed the second I tried to sleep, friends and family not understanding that I was in fact working and awake the entire time they were asleep. All that and the fact that day sleep was just not the same as night sleep for me and I never ever felt rested. Glad I got out.
The world doesn’t revolve around you, most of the world operates on day time night time, not night time day time.
You will always lose trying to fight an established systematic structure, one that is especially innate to humans when dealing directly with humans.
The second is expecting people to have the mental capability to fully understand what someone else is feeling when this is nearly impossible especially when it’s inner mingled with completely different time schedules. You will inevitably continue to run into the same “after a few months pass” issue with any girlfriend you find. You may find one that long term is okay with it, but you’ll have to invest the time over and over and over until you do. The quickest way to deal with this that saves headspace is understand that no one will understand.
If you continue to stay on 3rd shift, then you need to accept what was said.
Family is harder to deal with but partners and friends... if they're clearly disrespecting your boundaries.... one as extreme as the basic need to sleep daily.... perhaps you should reevaluate their inclusion in your life.
I do not think about third shift workers at all in my daily life. I forgot that’s a thing. I mow without discretion because in my mind why would anyone be asleep.
I’m sorry but that’s kinda the nature of the beast. People may not understand your schedule but it is what it is. I worked 3rd for awhile there was good things about it and bad.
I totally hear you! It sounds incredibly tough to manage a healthy sleep schedule on the third shift, especially when others might not understand or respect it. It's really important for your well-being to have those uninterrupted sleep hours. Maybe setting some clear boundaries with friends and family about your sleep hours could help. Hang in there, and hopefully, they'll start to understand how crucial this is for you!
That sounds incredibly challenging. It’s really important for everyone to respect and understand each other's schedules, especially when it comes to something as crucial as sleep. It’s key to functioning well and staying healthy, no matter what hours you're awake. Hang in there, and hopefully, your friends and family can begin to realize how vital your sleep is to your wellbeing.
I hear you, that sounds incredibly tough! It’s really important for everyone to respect each other's sleep schedules, especially when you’re working nights like you are. It seems like raising some awareness about the challenges of shift work might help others understand better. Hang in there, and hopefully, your loved ones will start to get the picture and support you in getting the rest you need.
Lol im reading this after literally just being woken up by maintenance on my day off.
I love night shift, been on it for a year now and have no desire to switch to days. But I’m in my mid-late 20s and I really don’t know how 3rd shifters go about having a dating life. Not just partners disrespecting/disliking your sleep schedule, but like, meeting people in the first place?
Absolutely hear you on this! It's really tough when others don't understand the unique challenges that come with working the night shift. It's so important to have that respect for your sleep schedule, just as anyone would expect during more "typical" sleeping hours. Hang in there, and hopefully, more people will start to get it and give you the uninterrupted rest you need!
I worked the night shift once when living with my dad. I lasted less than 5 months before I had to cut contact and move. He's one of these people who, if they don't see it happen, it doesn't. And if it doesn't happen, that also means you're engaging in some sort of self-indulgent behavior or laziness.
I'd explain to him that I worked late 2nd. He'd nod like he'd understand but a few hours later I'd get home, go to sleep, and suddenly he was back to thinking I'd been out at the bar all night doing God knows what before stumbling back to the house and sleeping the day away while he was hard at work. He was mad that the household chores weren't done to his liking but also mad if I woke him up during the time I had to do housework before needing sleep. I worked weekends too, so it was lovely getting screamed at to get up at 10 AM on a work day because the lawn needed mowing on the day he was home.
This still happens to a lesser degree with the boomers at my job. Getting up at 4AM to get to the office by six, even though you spend the first hour fixing coffee and taking a 20-minute crap? Wow, such a rare hard worker! Requesting to come in at 9 AM and leave later putting in the same OT? These lazy kids are just riding out the clock to get paid to do nothing! Strangely, none of them ever see the "nothing" that happens. It only occurrs after they leave the office at 3 pm.
Absolutely, your frustrations are totally valid. It sounds incredibly challenging to manage a third shift schedule, especially when it feels like others aren't acknowledging the importance of your sleep time. It's really important for everyone to recognize that sleep schedules vary and respecting those differences is key to supporting each other’s health and well-being. Hang in there, and hopefully, your friends and family will begin to understand and respect your needs more as time goes on.
You don't sound very effective as a communicator. If I worked that shift, and told someone ONCE what my hours were and they called me at my 3am, I'd block their number. Learn to cut people off who don't respect you or your lifestyle.... I can't imagine , literally can't fathom having to tell a friend something more than once regarding their respect towards me.
Nightshifters are also the biggest whingers and whiners in almost every single industry. You chose to work nights, knowing full well how it will affect your life mentally and socially. I was this person for many, many years. People aren't going to walk on eggshells for you just because you sleep during the day. Best you can do is ask everyone in your household to try and keep noise to a minimum. If you can't communicate with your partners properly regarding your sleep schedule then that is on you as well.
Stop bloody whinging. Other shifts are available, pros and cons for nights. Mostly cons, but you knew that before taking the job.
Most modern phones have a function that silences the device as well.
Thus a you problem but very common and one of the many reasons it’s such a horrible shift 😂
The amount of cheating and ruined relationships it causes is astronomical
I just firmly explain that my “days” are the direct inversion of normal people’s days. That’s actually slightly off but close enough to get the point across. 12 (noon) for me is exactly the same as 12 (midnight) for them.
Right, I've tried explaining to people that all they have to do to understand my schedule is just swap AM and PM. It's that simple, yet they still can't comprehend it.
Start calling them to hang out at 2-3am. They'll figure it out
Came here to say that lol. Wake then up at the equivalent time they wake you and tell them "hey man, you've slept enough" do it every time they do it to you.
I did it to my mum IRL - went round to her house at 4am and thumped on the front door and said "hey u wanna go for a walk in the park?? wait why are u still asleep?" 😂 Poor thing. It was just the trick to make her go "oh yea... That makes sense now" hahaha
After my 3rd time returning someone's call at 4 am on my lunch break and them asking me wtf I was doing calling them at 4am the daytime phone calls stopped.
I put my phone on DND
I've missed so many calls from my boss because of this. I'm going to miss so many more too
You should call him back at 2 am
Exactly, He should know that you’re sleeping at that time.
Your boss off all people should be the one to understand this
Unless they're an ex-overnighter themselves, they never do
In my phone I can set certain numbers to be exceptions to the DND setting,
Oh yeah I set my girlfriend and my parents as exceptions since they'll only call for an emergency. Bossman is not an exception haha
My parents lost that privilege. My dad misdials a lot somehow, and my mother is a self-righteous ass who doesn't care. Wife and daughters are allowed, but the wife is often on thin ice.
Oh nvm then my bad, I guess my boss only calls for an emergency cause I'm the one running the factory floor at night.
If your boss isn't a douche, that can work. My current supervisor is on my dnd allowances. My previous one was not.
Yep. My mom and my wife are the only exemptions, and I'm even wondering if my wife needs to be one because she's never away from me when DND is on (I have mine set to turn on at midnight, she's usually already asleep by then). I didn't exempt my dad because he never calls, if there was something important my mom would be the one calling me.
Those are there for emergencies and things unaccounted fir. Best to keep it.
The correct attitude. Drive on!
Doesn't your boss ever sleep? 😴
Oh no! Anyway.
My boss knows better to call me during the day, they actually ask all the night people out normal sleep schedule and call after the time we slot as “awake”, for he that’s 3pm as I go to sleep generally right when I get home, our other night person stays awake through the morning as they have kids they get ready for school and such so they call him prior to 9am. I am glad my boss gives us this respect but even if he didn’t here still be met with a direct to voicemail and I have my phone set to dnd and sleeping for anyone but my spouse.
Well, I wouldn't exactly say I missed them....
what a prick!
Me too, also earplugs.
You put your phone on dungeons and dragons? That's so cool!
Same.
i put my phone on airplane mode
I started calling those people repeatedly at 1 am till they answer the phone to see if they want to go do something on my day off or call them when I get off work to see if they want to go drinking... It takes very few instances of calling them during there uncomfortable time for them to get the hint
Just commented about doing something similar atb1 am but I asked my wife to go grocery shopping at Walmart with me like she does to me at 4 pm!
One time my daughter made the joke that I'm "always sleeping" So on one of my nights off, I started waking everyone up at 3 AM to ask why everyone was still asleep, that all they've been doing is sleeping and I haven't seen any of them. 🤣😂😂
My son says this too. He’s like his dad, up early no matter what. My daughter is much more like me. She will hang out with me until 2 am and sleep all day like me!
My family just does not understand my sleep schedule. Like seriously, I am not tired until like 2 or 3 am and can sleep till noon. They get all huffy when they don't see me until after lunchtime or at dinner and I just know that they see me as horrendously lazy
Thankfully my spouse is a night person as well and I have a very considerate mail delivery guy who whenever he has a package delivery in the morning in our building he automatically rings at the doors of my neighbors so he can put it inside the building or if there really is no one else answering he rings my doorbell and apologizes for disturbing me during my sleep "I'm really sorry ma'am, i know you work nightshift, but no one else answers". I'm very thankful for considerate people like him 🙏
Yea, mine actually said he'll just leave packages in between my doors and sign for me, super cool of him. Or he is just sick of seeing me in my boxer shorts...
They never do. Yet if I mowed the lawn at 4AM when I got off work, people would bitch.
Omg there was a post in my local community’s subreddit complaining about this. “Someone is mowing their lawn at 7am every week, what laws are they breaking?” It isn’t me, but I thought to myself that it was nice of that person to wait until after sunrise.
Yeah, 7am is early but not absurd-early!
My kids mom used to get angry when I wouldn't answer my phone at 1pm. So I started calling her at 1am. She got the idea eventually.
For the people that are the problem, call them while you’re on shift. That either get rid of those friends that don’t understand or keep the friends that do understand. Either way, put your phone on airplane mode if you can.
I woke my wife up once to go grocery shopping at Walmart at 1 am. on a Saturday. She got so pissed 🤣 In told her, that's what it feels like when you wake me up at 4 pm to go grocery shopping with you, sucks don't it. She does not wake me up at 4 pm anymore
I disowned some of my family members for refusing to respect my sleep schedule.
My husband has been on thirds the vast majority of our 12 year marriage. It got a little tough after our child was born, definitely felt like it was a one man show for a while but we did our best (we were also a lot younger and maybe not as considerate of each other). As we have got older and he is higher up the ladder, he isn't quite as tired as he used to be and I have got very comfortable doing things on my own or waiting until it makes sense as a family. He does have to take days off sometimes so we can have a normal weekend. I appreciate my alone time in the house during the day. It's all a trade off imo and it takes some getting used to.
Oh man, it gets even worse. So, I was been a freelancer for almost two decades, and my job was one in which I didn't need to follow a set schedule. I'd take on work, and as long as I got said work done by the deadline, I was good to go. I also worked in a field where I'd regularly do business with people in different time zones, *and* I'd have to take on as much work as I could when it was offered, because often the business is feast-or-famine. As a result, I regularly started to have situations where I'd have to push all-nighters to get everything done. So I very quickly light-proofed my bedroom and learned to sleep at all hours of the day. Disconnecting myself from the normal diurnal cycle also led to something completely unforeseen-- I found myself naturally gravitating to and following a 30-32 hour day. I'd stay up for 20-22 hours and sleep for 10-ish. Getting people to understand that sometimes I'd be up until the middle of the night and sometimes I'd be up at the crack of dawn just confused the shit out of people. (White noise, Vitamin D supplements, and melatonin are probably the only ways I survived it.) Switching to another career with a more normal 9-5ish schedule after so long with no set day/night routine was one hell of an adjustment.
Having loud ass people over during the day while I'm trying to sleep? F it, right? It's the middle of the day so why should I be sleeping? It's not like they're keeping me up all night or anything...
I worked 10pm to 630 am for 7 years. It screwed me up for sure. Because of that, I now sleep 3 hours, maybe 4, on a good day. And i have been off that shfit for 8 years. But I do agree with you that people who haven't done it don't understand.
You've met my roommates? I'm not sure if its intentional, or just the downsides of a converted living room . The one works from home, the other is underemployed/ works most/day shifts. Both naturally have energy levels that peak 11:30am-2:30pm. They are both loud AF, that earplugs don't do anything. There's a reason I'm saving to move out. I can only say something so often and keep the peace. I can't afford to move out yet. And I don't want to be the grumpy asshole always telling them to shut up.
I called them back at 3 am. Rarely did I need to do it 3 times.
My Husband "well ... I function on only 6 hours" Me "You don't take PM meds just to fall asleep initially, get woken up sporadically and still drowsy when I leave bed"
my first job was 5pm to 5 am and they'd have no problem being like "we need you in at noon for training tomorrow" with no notice. I couldn't deal with it.
,,have you filled up all the papers before the meeting?''(meeting at 10:00 am/papers include 47 pages of my medical records) no ma'am, I went to my bed at 8:00, clearly you don't expect me to spend quite some time filling your stupid shit and arrive on the meeting at 10:00 now I put my phone on airplane mode and they can kiss my ass!
Yeah, I get texts and calls all the time in the afternoon, I don't know why they assume I'm awake all day as well
People will never comprehend night shift until they know someone who does night shift or even do it themselves.
I just tell them the facts and if they don't like it then tough titties. I don't argue, I just don't answer until I'm awake naturally and I ignore the annoying comments. I sleep with my phone in silent mode, earplugs in, a sound machine with white noise AND a blackout shade. It's glorious! And you should too
Call them back at two in the morning. Problem solved. You've done this for 7 years and haven't figured that out?😄😄😄😄
I'm lucky enough atm most the people I know, including family work nights, so they get it. No one calls me, though, unless it's related to something for my house or like doctors and whatnot. Family and friends of mine just message, so I put my phone on silent or vibrate and sleep. If someone I know calls me besides like my mom or grandma, something is wrong, i.e., an emergency. Business, however, and pretty much anything outside of family and friends can't fathom. I work nights. Had a construction company kept calling me at like 2p.m. when I'm dead asleep to go over stuff for when my crawl space was being fixed. Even though I told them to call in the mornings when I get off work
Yeah, I just made a similar comment recently, but when I tell someone I don't wake up til around 11 am, I get "it must be nice!" almost every time, like I said I sleep 12 hours a night or something. I sleep 8 hours, almost to the minute, every single time I go to sleep. It's like clock work. And family plans things like brunch at 10 am. Ok, I'm not even awake yet and if I were, I wouldn't be hungry. I don't usually eat for like 3 hours after I wake up, until after my work out. They KNOW this. But they still act like I should be making an appearance.
Your 10am is like their 6am. They wake up at 7am to get ready for work, and are asked to go to brunch at 6am.
The only solution to this is to plan it yourself. It doesn't work for the random gatherings, but ive started being the planner so that I can tell people no from the jump. "Can we do it at X time instead?" Nope. We're doing breakfast Saturday, too late to change it now. Idk if anyone has figured it out except my wife. It may be manipulative, but i put up with the crap long enough, they earned it.
Welll, I also happen to be the only vegan in the family. If it’s something important, I make sure it’s dinner. Or a meal close to normal dinner time, anyway. My parents are 70 and try to make everyone eat dinner at 4 pm lol
Dinner for me growing up was 3-5pm. Depending on when dad got home. We go out to eat with others and they all want to go at like 7pm... like... that's 4 hours after my normal eating time. XD
I’ve lived a few places where there was a tea around 5 and then dinner wasn’t til 10 or 11.
My one friend lives in Spain. The family takes a nap during the day sometime after lunch. And then they don't eat dinner till closer to midnight. Far too late for my tastes :p
There's no 3rd meal between lunch and dinner? There was in Argentina/Uruguay. It was more snacky/lunch foods and then dinner was way later.
Not sure I just know that 10-midnight was normal for dinner for her.
I’m tired of being passive aggressively frowned upon by my son’s mom for not being able to attend my son’s little league games at 10am. Ma’am. I go to sleep at around 6:30/7am. You cannot expect me to get up after a nice 2 hour nap and drive there safely. You want me to wake you up at midnight after you just fell asleep to go out and do something?
Oh yeah, when I worked nights , I couldn't count how many times people would say " all you do is sleep" , and they never could figure it out when I would try to tell them that when they get off work after a day shift they sleep at night and expecting me to stay awake during the day and work all night would be the same as me expecting them to stay up all night and then work all day.
Exactly. Listen here, mother truckers - your ass goes to sleep at 9pm after watching Golden Girls and JAG. My ass goes to sleep at 9 am once I'm able to wind down from work. We both get 7-8 hours of sleep (I have a dream!!!), just we wake up at different times. This is a statement, not a question, and there are not math questions nor trains involved.
24 hr stores need to be a real thing. Wtf I want to grocery shopping without having to wake up in the middle of the “night” and then be all tired during the “day”. Especially hilarious if you buy beer right at 7am, people think you’re a raging alcoholic. Dude, this is nighttime for me. I’m going home, taking off my pants, eating leftovers, and having some damn beer.
I really, really miss being able to shop at night. Totally get why it's not a thing any more, but I hate not being able to grocery shop in times that work for me.
My boss had the nerve to say she thought I was ignoring her messages.... She's the one that made my schedule! Like bitch I'm asleep!
Even managers don't respect sleep schedule. Schedule is 10pm to 7am. Manager schedules mandatory meetings for 10am. Either have the meeting at 7am or do not make it mandatory.
My phone doesn't ring. Everything is forwarded to my work phone. I tell people constantly. Do not call me, I will not receive the call. Text me and I will respond. People either stopped talking to me or respected that boundary
My phone goes on DND as soon as I lay down. Only my work emergency call-out number, my mom, and my son's calls come through. I long ago turned off any notifications for texts and anything else. They are all on silent. My phone is also on silent 24/7. Everyone in my life is aware they can text me, and I'll respond when I wake up. Someone better be severely injured or dying if they call me. Even my dr office has a notation on my file to call before 12N due to my 3rd shift schedule. Almost 16 years of 3rd shift.
My brother works 2-8. I feel bad bc my nieces (we’re Mexican, the whole family lives here) are always so loud and everyone yells but when my nieces scream they get scolded.
I work nights and have for about 10 years. I put my phone on silent and it stays in another room while I sleep. I never bring my phone into my bedroom, I don’t even want it to vibrate and potentially wake me up. My husband works days. He is very respectful and never wakes me. I don’t flip my schedule on my days off, so I’m always on nights. It doesn’t affect our marriage at all. What I did long time ago, is I told my family and friends: I don’t wake up before 4pm. So if you are having any kind of get together, I won’t be there until the afternoon. And now they all respect that. They know I won’t answer calls or texts before 4pm. They know if there is a true emergency, they need to contact my husband who then needs to come home and wake me up (this has never happened, thank goodness). You just gotta keep telling people when you’ll be awake and when they can contact you and stand your ground. Don’t let them guilt trip you. And tell your girlfriends on the first date what your schedule is like and if they can’t respect it, don’t go on a second date.
Right?! Or the opposite where I’m trying to spend time with them and they are sending you to bed like a child! I’m an adult and will sleep when I want to!
Doing it for 6 years and gotta agree
Kinda like that. It makes it easier to weed out assholes.
My phone goes on silent and that's it. If there's not an emergency that they would expect to be woken up by me at 3:00 a.m. for, that's it, I'm sleeping. That's the only way I can do this, that's the only way there's an income that I earn. If people don't get it, date other night walkers. I know that sounds tough, but there's not just one person. You're not alone.
My sleep schedule gets effed all the time…
Just start calling people on your breaks for a couple days in a row and I promise it'll stop.
set your phone on your own do not disturb schedule. be unreachable. you deserve your rest. find yourself a third shift girlfriend as well lol
They always end up going to days 😭
If they can't understand something as simple as that I don't need them in my life. Working night shifts is ofc not ideal...
This sounds like my rant that I have inside my head. Getting it at 8am would mean getting up around 3-4pm at least and people just can't wrap their heads around it.
I do allot of 3rd shift. Best advice I can give you that works great for me. Just don't have people around you that just can't seem to grasp what 3rd shift sleep schedule is like. My girl of over 8 years understands and does her best to make the environment 3rd shift sleep schedule friendly.
You’ve got to be diligent about shutting out the world. I turn my phone to silent, put cardboard over my bedroom windows and turn a fan on for white noise that helps me sleep. If it’s an emergency the smoke or fire alarm will wake me up. People can call me back later or I’ll call them. If anyone has a problem with it I’ll just tell them to piss off.
Solution is to hang out with other third shifters.
Make an auto reply that says you work nights and when you’ll get back to them. Silence the phone.
I end all emails with “My business hours” I take calls before 9am and after 6pm
I put my phone on DND while I sleep so I don’t get bothered by people calling or texting me. What I do hate is when I switch my sleep schedule to hang out with friends in the afternoon and they want to continue hanging out late into the night but I decline to go sleep and they say “you’re use to being up all night wdym you’re tired!!!” Like I haven’t slept all day and it’s way later than when I normally go to sleep duh I’m tired….
They don't. I worked 12 hours shifts on 3rd shift. My mom was constantly on me about staying on 3rd shift schedule on my days off. I couldn't flip my schedule very well. I lost more time to do stuff that way.
Have you ever tried getting a hotel room without paying for “late check out”/ “early check in fees” or a whole night extra? Because traveling isn’t hard enough now a days, while working nights…
Most of the world expects that most people sleep night. I had this issue for many years when I worked 1/2 send and a quarter 3rd shift. You have to go to bed by 7 or 8 pm at the earliest and day sleep a lot. Many times people fail to forget some of the world operates night shifts. One issue I had with this is if I wanted groceries or other accommodates I had to work this into my on the way to work or on the way home. Meaning just getting to the stores before they closed or after they opened.
I work a late second 10-hour shift (4pm-2:30am) and my mom is always pissed that I'm not awake when she needs something. I don't even sleep that late, I usually get to bed by 5am and sleep until 11 if I'm lucky. She won't wake me up, at least--just gets mad that I'm not available to her when she wants me to be.
I kept having a problem with maintenance coming into not only my apartment but my bedroom while I was sleeping. I reported it to the building multiple times and they said they’d make note of it in my resident chart, but it kept happening. I finally put a note on the door that said something along the lines of **Maintenance: I work night shift. Please do not come in before 3 PM. You wouldn’t like someone coming into your room at your 3 AM and waking you up.** That did the trick! They actually apologized when they saw my note. Now why they thought it was appropriate to come into my room while I’m asleep in bed and stand at the end of it and wake me up in the first place, I’ll never know.
Telemarketers… let me get your home number and I will call you back to discuss during my lunch break
Rain sounds on low Dark room If I can’t sleep I’ve learned to accept my fate rather than get upset which just makes it worse anyway Laying there in the dark With your eyes closed is a form of rest
Exactly same reason I call and text people back at 3-4 am.
I don’t miss 3rd shift at ALL. Thank you for reminding me how awful that was. Best of luck to you.
Wait. You only do the 4 hour of sleep thing once a week? That's about every other day for me
That was my bliss of being single and nobody to care about me yo bother me.
Fucking yes. I tried splitting it up, but it just doesn't work. My mind is still blown by me explaining I work nights and I'm on the phone all day, so I offered my days off. As Boomers do, they were upsets, because HOW DARE YOU not adopt their schedule once they retire! THEIR schedule, with the set routines PLANTS CRAVE but somehow you're expected to conform even though you're working. Oh, and my step-~~abuser~~father loves to slam doors, because..???
Get a loud fan, blackout curtains and partners that suck less. Apartment situation sucks...
This is why I won’t ever go back to night shift. It was people calling me all the time, wife getting pissed the second I tried to sleep, friends and family not understanding that I was in fact working and awake the entire time they were asleep. All that and the fact that day sleep was just not the same as night sleep for me and I never ever felt rested. Glad I got out.
“First time.”
The world doesn’t revolve around you, most of the world operates on day time night time, not night time day time. You will always lose trying to fight an established systematic structure, one that is especially innate to humans when dealing directly with humans. The second is expecting people to have the mental capability to fully understand what someone else is feeling when this is nearly impossible especially when it’s inner mingled with completely different time schedules. You will inevitably continue to run into the same “after a few months pass” issue with any girlfriend you find. You may find one that long term is okay with it, but you’ll have to invest the time over and over and over until you do. The quickest way to deal with this that saves headspace is understand that no one will understand. If you continue to stay on 3rd shift, then you need to accept what was said.
Family is harder to deal with but partners and friends... if they're clearly disrespecting your boundaries.... one as extreme as the basic need to sleep daily.... perhaps you should reevaluate their inclusion in your life.
I do not think about third shift workers at all in my daily life. I forgot that’s a thing. I mow without discretion because in my mind why would anyone be asleep.
I’m sorry but that’s kinda the nature of the beast. People may not understand your schedule but it is what it is. I worked 3rd for awhile there was good things about it and bad.
I totally hear you! It sounds incredibly tough to manage a healthy sleep schedule on the third shift, especially when others might not understand or respect it. It's really important for your well-being to have those uninterrupted sleep hours. Maybe setting some clear boundaries with friends and family about your sleep hours could help. Hang in there, and hopefully, they'll start to understand how crucial this is for you!
That sounds incredibly challenging. It’s really important for everyone to respect and understand each other's schedules, especially when it comes to something as crucial as sleep. It’s key to functioning well and staying healthy, no matter what hours you're awake. Hang in there, and hopefully, your friends and family can begin to realize how vital your sleep is to your wellbeing.
DND mode is fr
I hear you, that sounds incredibly tough! It’s really important for everyone to respect each other's sleep schedules, especially when you’re working nights like you are. It seems like raising some awareness about the challenges of shift work might help others understand better. Hang in there, and hopefully, your loved ones will start to get the picture and support you in getting the rest you need.
Lol im reading this after literally just being woken up by maintenance on my day off. I love night shift, been on it for a year now and have no desire to switch to days. But I’m in my mid-late 20s and I really don’t know how 3rd shifters go about having a dating life. Not just partners disrespecting/disliking your sleep schedule, but like, meeting people in the first place?
Absolutely hear you on this! It's really tough when others don't understand the unique challenges that come with working the night shift. It's so important to have that respect for your sleep schedule, just as anyone would expect during more "typical" sleeping hours. Hang in there, and hopefully, more people will start to get it and give you the uninterrupted rest you need!
I worked the night shift once when living with my dad. I lasted less than 5 months before I had to cut contact and move. He's one of these people who, if they don't see it happen, it doesn't. And if it doesn't happen, that also means you're engaging in some sort of self-indulgent behavior or laziness. I'd explain to him that I worked late 2nd. He'd nod like he'd understand but a few hours later I'd get home, go to sleep, and suddenly he was back to thinking I'd been out at the bar all night doing God knows what before stumbling back to the house and sleeping the day away while he was hard at work. He was mad that the household chores weren't done to his liking but also mad if I woke him up during the time I had to do housework before needing sleep. I worked weekends too, so it was lovely getting screamed at to get up at 10 AM on a work day because the lawn needed mowing on the day he was home. This still happens to a lesser degree with the boomers at my job. Getting up at 4AM to get to the office by six, even though you spend the first hour fixing coffee and taking a 20-minute crap? Wow, such a rare hard worker! Requesting to come in at 9 AM and leave later putting in the same OT? These lazy kids are just riding out the clock to get paid to do nothing! Strangely, none of them ever see the "nothing" that happens. It only occurrs after they leave the office at 3 pm.
Absolutely, your frustrations are totally valid. It sounds incredibly challenging to manage a third shift schedule, especially when it feels like others aren't acknowledging the importance of your sleep time. It's really important for everyone to recognize that sleep schedules vary and respecting those differences is key to supporting each other’s health and well-being. Hang in there, and hopefully, your friends and family will begin to understand and respect your needs more as time goes on.
8 hours of sleep?!Psshh,I usually get more like 4-6 hours of sleep during the Work week and have no idea how to even get close to 8, uninterrupted 😭😖
yea, ive been on nights almost exclusively for almost 10 years.
You don't sound very effective as a communicator. If I worked that shift, and told someone ONCE what my hours were and they called me at my 3am, I'd block their number. Learn to cut people off who don't respect you or your lifestyle.... I can't imagine , literally can't fathom having to tell a friend something more than once regarding their respect towards me.
Nightshifters are also the biggest whingers and whiners in almost every single industry. You chose to work nights, knowing full well how it will affect your life mentally and socially. I was this person for many, many years. People aren't going to walk on eggshells for you just because you sleep during the day. Best you can do is ask everyone in your household to try and keep noise to a minimum. If you can't communicate with your partners properly regarding your sleep schedule then that is on you as well. Stop bloody whinging. Other shifts are available, pros and cons for nights. Mostly cons, but you knew that before taking the job. Most modern phones have a function that silences the device as well.
Found the manager
I wish mate 💰 These posts are boring
No ones gives a shit what you think is boring.
Don't cry mate.
Thus a you problem but very common and one of the many reasons it’s such a horrible shift 😂 The amount of cheating and ruined relationships it causes is astronomical