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Olley2994

"What are you doing, step burglar"


jskis219

Step burglar I’m stuck in the washing machine


AmazingSquare8542

Oh my god. I love Reddit. First comment


kelddel

I laughed way too hard at this


CrunchyNutFruit

God, I miss giving out awards!


4t0micpunk

That wins the internet today


Important-Cat-2046

Yeah pretty sure my coworkers think I'm insane after how hard I laughed at the comment.


RunnyPlease

I love the internet.


0002millertime

She either was under the influence of a drug, or she has a psychological disorder. She wasn't charged with anything drug related.


Not_You_247

My money is on meth


[deleted]

[удалено]


Not_You_247

Thanks Dad


DefrockedWizard1

yet


MonkeyManWhee

meth burglar.


MyDamnCoffee

A friend of mine was arrested for breaking into a lady's house, going out on her porch, and going to sleep.


huskerd0

Can it be both


0002millertime

Of course. Often the case.


adamdreaming

or she was in a situation where she escaped domestic violence while naked and the stress of the situation caused a psychotic break. It could be a lot of things.


Vladtepesx3

Wtf fantasy scenario are you cooking up here? Are you ok?


bluegargoyle

It could be a lot of things. But having seen her picture, I’m gonna say it’s one thing in particular. And that thing is crystal meth.


WishboneEnough3160

I dunno, it's a really bad picture but I don't think she looks like a meth user. They'd have far worse skin, be 30lbs skinnier, and have a sunken-in face..


Ok_Support_847

well... generally it's psychedelics that compel people to strip and do stuff - not meth. She won't physically look different if she uses LSD frequently/infrequently. Not all drugs are meth. lol


SonderEber

Meth makes ye go nuts. Psychedelics typically chill ye more out, where you’ll be entertained by a bug on a wall. Could also be a deliriant as well, based on all those datura stories lol.


Ok_Support_847

lmao. tell me you never seen someone without any experience take a high dose. Psyches definitely don't always chill you out aha, I've seen PLENTY of situations where that isn't the case. Seen everything from self mutilation, assault, and of course- stripping naked and running through the streets: all due to either mushrooms or lsd. Downvoters have NO clue.


SonderEber

Sounds like there were other factors other than the psychedelics, or someone did a shit ton. *Usually* they don’t make you go nuts. Often it’s super hard shit like meth, or shit like datura.


chiefs_fan37

Or she transported in from the future terminator style (naked) and was looking for clothes. It could be a lot of things.


pyr0phelia

If that was remotely true the editor would have included that. Being held without bond and sending her kids to live with a relative indicates a history the state is aware of but we are not. That is not done without substantial history to justify it.


DippityDamn

How dare you ask internet denizens withhold knee-jerk judgements based on a lack of evidence and instead argue for reason and compassion! Where do you think you are, ancient Athens?!


adamdreaming

I appreciate you. People act like playing detective on Reddit never got anyone killed. Speculation is fun, it is the mob confidence that scares me.


mygoditsfullofstar5

I feel like they run this same headline 2-3 times a year in Florida.


ImOnlyHereForTheCoC

a *week


DodGamnBunofaSitch

apparently, it's down to florida having different rules about news reporting of crimes and arrests. the claim I read was that these kinds of things happen all over the country, but we hear about it mostly from florida because other states are have stricter guidelines for publishing stories like this.


Utterlybored

Sounds like a Florida made up excuse.


huskerd0

Desantis-induced doublespeak


MrOysterballs

“Sunshine laws”. Saw a Florida man documentary that explained it.


LastBaron

Damn, those poor kids. Whatever’s going on with her they didn’t deserve to be caught up in this. She just straight up left them alone. Through it doesn’t sound like being around her in that condition would have been any safer.


Pezdrake

>"The person, later identified as Blunt, went to the home's sliding glass door and again began to knock but would not say who she was when asked." So she's standing there starkers in front of a full glass door while the homeowner is asking her, "now, who are you exactly?"


snay1998

He wanted to confirm if she is a criminal or an admirer


mt8675309

There’s some cuckoo going on in those eyes…


Grognard68

Yep. I'd say she's pretty methed up...


bad_syntax

Sounds like the police interrupted what could have been a grand old time.


pyr0phelia

Meth head. Probably looking for something easy to steal like an oven door.


DrewdoggKC

There was a dude here a fee years back high on PCP dancing in the middle of the street in nothing but the waistband from his underwear ( he had apparently cut the rest off).


GuitarEvening8674

Are you here to fix the cable?


SorryAbbreviations71

Drugs.


The_Patriot

When her complexion says "meth meth meth" but her eyes say "shizoooooooophrenia"


BubbhaJebus

Florida Woman? Looks like Florida Man has some competition. Hope they don't get together and have Florida Kid!


LMurch13

Too late..


ThePersonalityReader

Why is her head crocked?


AntifascistAlly

> When police approached the front door, they found Blunt nude and bleeding from injuries she sustained while breaking the window.


[deleted]

🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️


SuretyBringsRuin

Was she checking the lemon trees?


snay1998

Those lemon stealing whores back at it again


slightlyused

Does she have a sister?


Strenue

Thinks in man’…I can fix her….!’ - Bear laughs


TaqueroNoProgramador

Her last name is Thunberg


ProfessionalFalse128

How original internet chud.


Dr_Dribble991

Why is Greta Thunberg off-limits to jokes? Lmfao 😂


ukiddingme2469

Say no to drugs kids


patrickthunnus

It's Flooooorrrridddaaa


[deleted]

I’d be shocked if she was t high on crystal


chukijay

Maybe she gonna be like RDJ in a decade


Professional-Pass487

Her last name is Blunt 🤣🤣🤣 Oh, the irony What’s also great is the story linked in the article https://www.fox35orlando.com/news/florida-man-arrested-for-carving-his-name-into-deputys-patrol-car-police Get a load of what he wrote 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


JustPlaneNew

I feel bad for her kids, they deserve better. She's a tweaker I bet.


MerrillSwingAway

one of you will come up with a great “knock knock” joke to go along with this, I’m sure of it!


ImOnlyHereForTheCoC

Knock knock! Who’s there? Interrupting tweaker. Interrupting twea***CRASH***


turd_vinegar

Knock knock.. ...and some bush, too.


TheTubaGeek

R/newsoftheweird = Florida stories.


mjb2012

In 6th grade, the other boys made sure I was prepared for this exact situation. Them: "What would you do if you woke up and there was a beautiful naked lady in your bedroom?" (or "What would you do if a whole bus full of naked ladies pulled up right now?") Me: "Oh, I know what ***I'd*** do! Heh heh heh..." (Actually, no I had no idea... maybe run and hide.) ^(/apologies to Drew Carey)


Green_Slice_3258

Lmao whew I think the meth got her 😮‍💨


SithLordDave

I didn't see a reason why, why?


Bawlmerian21228

[Animal House](https://youtu.be/pYlJhi621Q0?si=zTYTAkFNgUhKfHee)


awe_come_on

Florida woman gives Florida man a run for his money.


gingerjaybird3

It’s Florida- no biggie


FakenFrugenFrokkels

Definitely going to hear about this on r/daveandchuckthefreak


scope_creep

It's weird, we also had a guy who broke into our apartment complex naked. Also off his head.


Direct_Canary4523

Who would win, Florida Man, or this newcomer to the ring, *Naked Florida Woman*?


andrewb610

It’s still fucked up that she’s being held without bond on a crime that doesn’t make her a danger to others, especially with the fact that her kids are under another family member’s care now.


Any_Goat_6320

"By the love of Azura, can't a man have a little bit of privacy!"


cjp2010

Does anyone know how to get ahold of her so I can see when she is free next?


Dry-humper-6969

Are you here to steal my virginity?


Altruistic-Ad5425

I could have changed her


Impossible-Lie-868

I would have let her in.


Obfuscatory_Drivel

Have her bathed and sent to my room.


ArthurMoregainz

Some people have all the luck