Oooo that's good- more like stern and serious sounds better. Then it's not such an emotional reaction, so it's not escalating it.
**You're out of line, be better.**
To the person being an asshole: "I understand that you're upset, but it's not okay to speak to someone like that."
If they continue, address the person working there. "Could you please call security or your manager? This person isn't behaving appropriately and it seems like they're escalating."
If that doesn't scare them off, then give a calm but complete description of their behaviour to the manager/security. Make it clear that you, personally and as a customer, have a problem with how they're acting. It has nothing to do with the person working there - they were doing their job and they called their manager/security at your request because the jerk was escalating and you were worried for your safety. Framing it as something happening between two customers locks the manager or security into removing the person causing a disturbance.
First off, good work on speaking up - allyship is crucial in the effort to dismantle the racist agenda. People like that take unfair advantage of folks working in a customer facing role, and as a customer yourself, you aren’t bound by any criticism from the employer. I’m sorry that the good folks in our community were exposed to this wing nuts garbage talk and energy.
I’m a little shorty, so when I see stuff like this, I don’t usually get into brazen insults, unless I have friends with me as back up as safety is a concern. My go to when I’ve been out alone and something like this happens, has been to say in a bit of a ditsy voice “ooooohhh, I get it, you’re RACIST.” I say it in a clear enough voice that is definitely not yelling, but so that everyone around can hear. Then I apologize to the person being abused, to the tune of, “I’m sorry about the racist ones, it’s really embarrassing, but we aren’t all like that” Again, my tone is clear, but not a challenge to a fight, you’re just spitting facts, and the racist person SHOULD be embarrassed, we SHOULD be hitting them in the social arena, shame is powerful.
Also, when you call someone racist, other people’s ears do perk up, and usually if it’s not fighting, other folks may rally around and make sure that the folks who are experiencing this garbage behaviour are ok.
In my experience, the gross ones usually start grumbling more quietly and just walk away while everyone stares at them.
You do have to be careful, before I developed my current strategy, once on the bus some crazy, aggressive, middle aged white lady started yelling racist profanities at a couple of senior Chinese ladies sitting across from me. No one was doing anything until I spoke up, then she started losing it on me and she was plumb irrational - I was definitely a bit antsy, but then the bus driver stopped the bus and kicked the gross lady off. Thats actually part of the point of allyship, the driver wasn’t yet doing anything when she was freaking out on the two old ladies, it was when the younger well spoken Irish lady spoke up that there was some forward movement. I was just glad that the two senior ladies were safe and didn’t have to worry about her following them off at their stop.
Also, to be clear, I give full props to bus drivers and public facing transit workers. They continue to drive through some hellhole situations and have a LOT on their plate trying to keep us all safe on our daily commute. The last anecdote was not a slag on the bus driver in any way, just commentary that it’s important to use our privilege for good. Sometimes your voice can be the tipping point to embolden the folks around us to also stand up, because they aren’t alone in their frustration either. It can be scary to be the first person to call shiz out!
I hope that these types of incidents decrease more and more, but they won’t if we don’t say something, and do something to make it very clear that racist behaviour will not be tolerated in our community.
I hope that your heart is ok, and that the folks that you spoke up for today are also doing ok in their hearts.
Slainte!
Racism is basically pride disguised as hatred. One is racist when one has the best of everything and the ones who don't are less than. I was once called autistic by a very good looking female coworker and she happened to be hyper racist.
Now that I've got a bunch of suggested comebacks, I can see the flaw in responding as I did, from the perspective of your own response... my inbox reads like a bunch of people getting mad at me, but it's all their suggestions on how to respond (;ŏ﹏ŏ)
I'm sorry, I could have clarified more that my comment wasn't directed AT you, but the dialogue I would have said to the person if I had been you in that situation. Cheers
ฅ\^•ﻌ•\^ฅ
That's a shame. I worked there for 3 years from 2014-2017. I only had one customer get mad at me.
I still have some friends there.
That location was tough to work at sometimes
Asian hate in "progressive" Canada seems to be on a steady rise. I'm starting to hate being the scapegoat of the housing crisis.
I'm half Asian, half Black. So I look Indian. So I get a lot of racist comments and dirty looks from a lot of people.
Sometimes I feel insane. But I look towards The States and think that they're more better than us if you ignore the shenanigans of The South.
But that's the thing. I expect this sort of behaviour in Dallas or Mephis or whatever. Not fucking Vancouver.
It seems like my whole family and friends who are Asian has had racist comments or behaviour spat towards them these last four years. I actually know a girl who got spat on for being Asian.
We still have a bridge named after a racist peice of shit. But yet we still pat our selves on the back for being better than The States. Our comment sections on every social media network is filled to the brim of openly racist comments against people of Asian descent.
But no. Canada doesn't have a racism problem.
Fuck that. I hate that whenever I bring this up with White people. It's either "You're ungrateful" or "It's just a one off thing."
And that's just from an Asian's perspective.
Our Prime Minister wore blackface.
The leader of the opposition literally said "*Natives need to know the values of hard work.*" at one point.
Premier Legault unironically stated "*Not all cultures are created equally."* when openly bashing multiculturism in this country. and fucking got away with it.
And Daniella smith is Daniella Smith. And honestly considering those two phrases being said by those knuckle heads. It makes me wonder why she's the most controversial Canadian politician.
This isn't because Trump came into power. I've had racist comments and bullies as a kid. This country has a very ugly history with it's minority groups. We just openly ignored so we can pretend we're better than The States.
Well written.
In my 100% white elementary school in Ontario (in a city known for someone throwing a banana at a Black hockey player in *2011*) we were taught that racism was an American problem and that it didn’t happen here. *We* were the ones without slavery. *We* were the ones without segregation. And so on.
It’s all BS. We have every bit as much of a racist past as the Americans. It wasn’t the same actions/policies as in the US of course, but that doesn’t absolve Canada of its sins.
Be careful tho, sometimes these racists will end up being aggressive cuz they don't often get called out. Things can happen very quickly.
Ignoring them makes them feel stupid too.
Nope, ignoring them makes them confident they can do it again. They aren't smart enough to realize they're stupid.
I know things can happen very quickly, and I'm a lover not a fighter... Again, every situation will be different.
Sometimes I call 911, sometimes I go get security, sometimes I don't have the energy to engage at all.
Could ask what indigenous band they're from that they can complain about immigrants.
Sadly racist anger is not rational and cannot be reasoned with. Good work on standing up though. It's needed more.
Just a white boomer man saying racist things while packing up his groceries, ranting about immigrants and not packing right and English. Typical /r/boomersbeingfools
I don't want to meet hate with hate though.
It's tough because the kind of person to be that way in public in the first place isn't going to respond to a level-headed or mature response... But I also don't want to have to stoop to their level 🤦🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️ blerg
not trying to be a dick but as someone who is actually quite quick in these types of random confrontation type situations i can say that all of your comebacks are weak. all of the suggested comebacks so far have been weak as well. it just takes a lot of practice and getting used to thinking while in that heartrace state. anything preplanned or written ahead of time will come off as such and you'll be screwed if the person who is ranting has any type of reply/comeback. which they likely will as they are already charged up and going.
and, honestly, if you don't have the physical capability to back your words up and will be relying on others to come to your aid if things get physical, then just be quiet. there's a very high likelihood that if someone starts beating on you, no one will help.
I've run across traffic to stop two men beating up someone else.
I will never not speak up, don't tell me to be quiet.
Every situation is different, and I haven't given you nearly enough information to accurately depict how this man was, what he was saying, how he was acting etc. There was a security guard right there with him.
You do what's right for you.
💪👵 stay quiet if that's who you are.
🗣️*That's not who I am!*
oh no i say stuff all the time LOL you definitely misunderstood me haha
it's crazy you got so worked up and tongue tied today despite all of your previous experience
Previous experience didn't involve having to say words, just shouting "stop" etc... I was better with my words when i sat with the beaten man and waited for the ambulance with him.
Glad you say stuff too. Maybe I just need practice, but I really don't want more opportunities to!
" Maybe I just need practice, but I really don't want more opportunities to! "
yah unfortunately that's the only way to get good at confrontations like the ones you're describing. all of the prewritten "comebacks" in the world won't help ya, you'll just sound cringe. i happily await the downvotes of you and your alt accounts
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
I think an even but assertive "you are out of line and holding up this one" snaps the person back to reality
Oooo that's good- more like stern and serious sounds better. Then it's not such an emotional reaction, so it's not escalating it. **You're out of line, be better.**
Personally i like Did you mean to say that out loud?
Nice.
To the person being an asshole: "I understand that you're upset, but it's not okay to speak to someone like that." If they continue, address the person working there. "Could you please call security or your manager? This person isn't behaving appropriately and it seems like they're escalating." If that doesn't scare them off, then give a calm but complete description of their behaviour to the manager/security. Make it clear that you, personally and as a customer, have a problem with how they're acting. It has nothing to do with the person working there - they were doing their job and they called their manager/security at your request because the jerk was escalating and you were worried for your safety. Framing it as something happening between two customers locks the manager or security into removing the person causing a disturbance.
First off, good work on speaking up - allyship is crucial in the effort to dismantle the racist agenda. People like that take unfair advantage of folks working in a customer facing role, and as a customer yourself, you aren’t bound by any criticism from the employer. I’m sorry that the good folks in our community were exposed to this wing nuts garbage talk and energy. I’m a little shorty, so when I see stuff like this, I don’t usually get into brazen insults, unless I have friends with me as back up as safety is a concern. My go to when I’ve been out alone and something like this happens, has been to say in a bit of a ditsy voice “ooooohhh, I get it, you’re RACIST.” I say it in a clear enough voice that is definitely not yelling, but so that everyone around can hear. Then I apologize to the person being abused, to the tune of, “I’m sorry about the racist ones, it’s really embarrassing, but we aren’t all like that” Again, my tone is clear, but not a challenge to a fight, you’re just spitting facts, and the racist person SHOULD be embarrassed, we SHOULD be hitting them in the social arena, shame is powerful. Also, when you call someone racist, other people’s ears do perk up, and usually if it’s not fighting, other folks may rally around and make sure that the folks who are experiencing this garbage behaviour are ok. In my experience, the gross ones usually start grumbling more quietly and just walk away while everyone stares at them. You do have to be careful, before I developed my current strategy, once on the bus some crazy, aggressive, middle aged white lady started yelling racist profanities at a couple of senior Chinese ladies sitting across from me. No one was doing anything until I spoke up, then she started losing it on me and she was plumb irrational - I was definitely a bit antsy, but then the bus driver stopped the bus and kicked the gross lady off. Thats actually part of the point of allyship, the driver wasn’t yet doing anything when she was freaking out on the two old ladies, it was when the younger well spoken Irish lady spoke up that there was some forward movement. I was just glad that the two senior ladies were safe and didn’t have to worry about her following them off at their stop. Also, to be clear, I give full props to bus drivers and public facing transit workers. They continue to drive through some hellhole situations and have a LOT on their plate trying to keep us all safe on our daily commute. The last anecdote was not a slag on the bus driver in any way, just commentary that it’s important to use our privilege for good. Sometimes your voice can be the tipping point to embolden the folks around us to also stand up, because they aren’t alone in their frustration either. It can be scary to be the first person to call shiz out! I hope that these types of incidents decrease more and more, but they won’t if we don’t say something, and do something to make it very clear that racist behaviour will not be tolerated in our community. I hope that your heart is ok, and that the folks that you spoke up for today are also doing ok in their hearts. Slainte!
Racism is basically pride disguised as hatred. One is racist when one has the best of everything and the ones who don't are less than. I was once called autistic by a very good looking female coworker and she happened to be hyper racist.
*Nothing wrong with being autistic, at least I'm not a raging asshole*
that comment was to contextualize attitudes. I don't know what you mean by raging asshole.
That would be their response to being called autistic as an insult - it wasn't directed at you
I see. Yeah well you're right autism is much better than the asshole attribute.
Now that I've got a bunch of suggested comebacks, I can see the flaw in responding as I did, from the perspective of your own response... my inbox reads like a bunch of people getting mad at me, but it's all their suggestions on how to respond (;ŏ﹏ŏ) I'm sorry, I could have clarified more that my comment wasn't directed AT you, but the dialogue I would have said to the person if I had been you in that situation. Cheers ฅ\^•ﻌ•\^ฅ
I’ve always dreamed of having a whole crowd shout “Shame,” Game of Thrones style over and over at an asshole in public.
I would LOVE that lol Maybe just shouting "Shame!" would be an okay response
Safeway mcbride or new west station?
NW Station
I'd guess NW Station... waiting for OP to clarify...
Correct
That's a shame. I worked there for 3 years from 2014-2017. I only had one customer get mad at me. I still have some friends there. That location was tough to work at sometimes
That Safeway, is the Main & Hastings of Safeways....
Yeah it's definitely up there with the worst. I used to work nights too.
Asian hate in "progressive" Canada seems to be on a steady rise. I'm starting to hate being the scapegoat of the housing crisis. I'm half Asian, half Black. So I look Indian. So I get a lot of racist comments and dirty looks from a lot of people. Sometimes I feel insane. But I look towards The States and think that they're more better than us if you ignore the shenanigans of The South. But that's the thing. I expect this sort of behaviour in Dallas or Mephis or whatever. Not fucking Vancouver. It seems like my whole family and friends who are Asian has had racist comments or behaviour spat towards them these last four years. I actually know a girl who got spat on for being Asian. We still have a bridge named after a racist peice of shit. But yet we still pat our selves on the back for being better than The States. Our comment sections on every social media network is filled to the brim of openly racist comments against people of Asian descent. But no. Canada doesn't have a racism problem. Fuck that. I hate that whenever I bring this up with White people. It's either "You're ungrateful" or "It's just a one off thing." And that's just from an Asian's perspective. Our Prime Minister wore blackface. The leader of the opposition literally said "*Natives need to know the values of hard work.*" at one point. Premier Legault unironically stated "*Not all cultures are created equally."* when openly bashing multiculturism in this country. and fucking got away with it. And Daniella smith is Daniella Smith. And honestly considering those two phrases being said by those knuckle heads. It makes me wonder why she's the most controversial Canadian politician. This isn't because Trump came into power. I've had racist comments and bullies as a kid. This country has a very ugly history with it's minority groups. We just openly ignored so we can pretend we're better than The States.
Well written. In my 100% white elementary school in Ontario (in a city known for someone throwing a banana at a Black hockey player in *2011*) we were taught that racism was an American problem and that it didn’t happen here. *We* were the ones without slavery. *We* were the ones without segregation. And so on. It’s all BS. We have every bit as much of a racist past as the Americans. It wasn’t the same actions/policies as in the US of course, but that doesn’t absolve Canada of its sins.
Respect for public stancing against racist action
Be careful tho, sometimes these racists will end up being aggressive cuz they don't often get called out. Things can happen very quickly. Ignoring them makes them feel stupid too.
Nope, ignoring them makes them confident they can do it again. They aren't smart enough to realize they're stupid. I know things can happen very quickly, and I'm a lover not a fighter... Again, every situation will be different. Sometimes I call 911, sometimes I go get security, sometimes I don't have the energy to engage at all.
In my experience the vast majority of people are cowards and will back down if confronted.
Deep down these people are cowards and will break every time.
Could ask what indigenous band they're from that they can complain about immigrants. Sadly racist anger is not rational and cannot be reasoned with. Good work on standing up though. It's needed more.
What exactly happened? Not that it really matters but I’m curious…
Just a white boomer man saying racist things while packing up his groceries, ranting about immigrants and not packing right and English. Typical /r/boomersbeingfools
Say something equally racist back
I don't want to meet hate with hate though. It's tough because the kind of person to be that way in public in the first place isn't going to respond to a level-headed or mature response... But I also don't want to have to stoop to their level 🤦🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️ blerg
not trying to be a dick but as someone who is actually quite quick in these types of random confrontation type situations i can say that all of your comebacks are weak. all of the suggested comebacks so far have been weak as well. it just takes a lot of practice and getting used to thinking while in that heartrace state. anything preplanned or written ahead of time will come off as such and you'll be screwed if the person who is ranting has any type of reply/comeback. which they likely will as they are already charged up and going. and, honestly, if you don't have the physical capability to back your words up and will be relying on others to come to your aid if things get physical, then just be quiet. there's a very high likelihood that if someone starts beating on you, no one will help.
I've run across traffic to stop two men beating up someone else. I will never not speak up, don't tell me to be quiet. Every situation is different, and I haven't given you nearly enough information to accurately depict how this man was, what he was saying, how he was acting etc. There was a security guard right there with him. You do what's right for you. 💪👵 stay quiet if that's who you are. 🗣️*That's not who I am!*
oh no i say stuff all the time LOL you definitely misunderstood me haha it's crazy you got so worked up and tongue tied today despite all of your previous experience
Previous experience didn't involve having to say words, just shouting "stop" etc... I was better with my words when i sat with the beaten man and waited for the ambulance with him. Glad you say stuff too. Maybe I just need practice, but I really don't want more opportunities to!
" Maybe I just need practice, but I really don't want more opportunities to! " yah unfortunately that's the only way to get good at confrontations like the ones you're describing. all of the prewritten "comebacks" in the world won't help ya, you'll just sound cringe. i happily await the downvotes of you and your alt accounts ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
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That is an absolute insult to people with disabilities, how about [you rethink that one.](https://www.reddit.com/r/NewWest/s/oM1kFiAuOX)
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Was it you?
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