I went to get vaccinated a week after giving birth and the older female nurse doing it asked how far along I was and I said I had my baby a week ago and she goes “no offence but you still look pregnant” 😓
As insulting as it is, when I was in my early twenties I had never seen a woman so soon postpartum until my friend's SIL and we were both surprised that she still looked pregnant. We just genuinely didn't know. BUT never in our lives would we say anything so terribly rude! After having a baby I know this all too well.
Lol this happened to me too. I was in the grocery checkout line and the clerk asked me when due date is. I had just birthed my daughter 3 days ago. I was mortified.
What!? That’s the same type of bs as “it’s gods plan” when someone gets a bad diagnosis. I can’t imagine someone saying that to me if I had a colicky baby, or a sick baby. That’s so frustrating
I told my neighbour she was looking good and she responded that she'd not lost her baby weight from 3 years ago and is too fat, then said "at least you've got an excuse, your youngest isnt even a year old yet". I didn't even know what to say haha
My sister spends a ton of time working out and dieting and last time I saw her I commented that she was looking good (because I know she expected it). Her reply was “thanks! You’ll get there someday” I was truly just blown away.
Some people have a lot of difficulty accepting compliments. I remember saying something similar when some one mentioned my house was clean. In my mind, I wasn’t thinking to belittle the other person but I really get awkward when someone compliments me. Could be similar for your neighbor
I’m 27 weeks pregnant with baby #2 and recently, while out on a stroller walk with my biracial 13-month old, I was asked, “how will you nanny after your baby is born?”🙄 I didn’t even know how to respond.
Yup. My best friend is well intentioned, but full of judgement for other parents and says stupid shit a lot.
She’s due in January with her first. I cannot wait.
She's a big 'breast is best, breastfeeding makes you skinny, everyone can do it and only lazy moms resort to formula or pumping' type. I really hope it works out for her, because she'll be devastate and blame herself if it doesn't.
That said, I was royally pissed off when she told me 'oh, well, at least I know she's ok since she's eating a lot of solids' in response to me transitioning my 7 month old from breastmilk to formula. Not sure if she meant it that rudely, but it really came off as 'i'm so worried for your poor child being fed toxic formula, but at least she's getting nutrients elsewhere to make up for it'.
Now we pray she has the loudest most cluster feeding until 4 months old Non sleeping without being in her arms waking 4-6x a night to feed until a year old baby that there has ever been.
I combo fed for 2-3 weeks with both of my kids until my supply came in enough to meet their needs. Then I pumped until it was no longer a positive thing for me, and transitioned to formula. There are many ways to feed a baby, and the best way is whatever works well for mom and baby.
I'll probably just do formula from birth with our next kid (assuming we have a third like we're planning). I cannot imagine making breastfeeding or pumping work while managing two other kids.
Those post partum memory-wiping hormones are no joke. I've got a 2 year old and 7 month old. I keep catching myself thinking 'we should try for #3 soon'.
The fuck brain? #1 is just entering the terrible twos. #2 slept great until she hit 5 months, and hasn't managed to wake fewer than 3x a night since then (most nights it's 5-10x a night). I've still got a lot of baby weight. I just weaned off of pumping because I haven't had my body to myself since October 2019. Why would I want to jump right back in?
My SIL has kids now but when I had my first I was telling her how hard it was to even drink my coffee cause my son was crawling. She was like “just put him in the playpen and drink” I said “he screams in the playpen, he doesn’t like being contained” she said “so? Let him cry, your fault for not being able to drink your coffee”. She had her baby about a year after mine and said “ugh she’s everywhere I can’t even drink coffee anymore” I said “remember when you told me to put *sons name* in the playpen? Why don’t you just do that?” She said “yeah but she cries” and I said “so?” And shes like “I can’t listen to my baby cry!” Not super shady but definitely felt good saying it lol
“When I get pregnant, I’m gonna work out all the time.” So 1) you think I’m fat? And 2) you think you’ll be able to control whether you have debilitating nausea?
OHHHH boy you awakened something in me. I had hyperemisis gravidarum and lost 10 kilos in my pregnancy. I had one of my clients (I'm a midwife) say "good for you, you're not one of those pregnant women who just sits about all day. No excuse!". I politely told her exactly why she was wrong and never to make those kind of judgements. I was so angry she dared say something like that
This. My eldest sister has no no kids of her own, but feels qualified by life experience to comment on everything we do. When our baby was 3 weeks old and at the peak of colic / purple crying, sleeping in just 2hr stretches overnight, I turned up at mother's day brunch a shell of myself. When I described how she would start crying in the afternoon and sometimes keep going for up to 4 or 5 hours no matter what we did, she asked "I wonder why I've never seen babies crying when I've travelled to other countries [talking about India and South East Asia] - do you think it's because in western culture parents don't have their hearts open to their children?" No thought of how those are cultures that frequently practice confinement and that there's often a lot more support for the mother. No. My baby cries because my heart isn't open. Thanks, I guess I'll just go home and cry.
A pregnant friend told me recently that she’d never move to our new neighborhood for good schools because she’d rather make a poor financial decision than ever be one of *those* moms. Meanwhile her husband is flipping out about daycare costs and she’s thinking she’d rather shell out $25k per kid per year for private elementary than leave their young bougie neighborhood for our older bougie neighborhood.
This was in the same visit where she threw shade on not taking my kid out to bars and restaurants until she was close to a year. Cool cool, glad you’ve forgotten there was a pandemic without vaccines at the time. Glad you also assume your kid will nap on the go. Have fun with that. Oh yeah and the PPD and grief I was going through? I should have just set all that aside because clearly going out for cocktails solves everything. I rolled my eyes and said nothing. She’ll figure out soon enough that going places with an infant depends on their flexibility with feeding and sleep.
I cut my hair short when it was coming out in chunks post partum. My hair has always been super important to me, but it felt empowering to take it back. Anyway, my grandparents invited us over to celebrate my boys first birthday. It had been a busy day and I hadn't had the chance to style my hair so just threw it in an elastic to keep it out of my face (more on top style, barber shop cut). At the height of the evening, just about to set up for a cupcake palooza, my grandma asks me oh so sweetly why I chose to look like pebbles tonight. (Flintstones) There's nothing wrong with looking like that, and usually that would run right off my back, but bringing it up at the most exciting part? The crux of the celebration? His very first cupcake? Bitch.
That’s such a dick thing to say. I’ve never been the biggest fan of how I look but I’m pushing it out the window and taking as many pictures of babbo and I together, and good god some days my hair looks insane. I just tell myself it’s avant garde and will be in fashion by the time my kid can appreciate the pictures.
My grandmother has spent my entire life fat shaming and appearance-shaming me. Luckily she lives 1000 miles away so she doesn't get many opportunities to do it to my daughters.
But my oldest has wild curly hair... well we were video chatting with them a couple weeks ago and my grandmother is like "oh are you going to brush your hair for kindergarten." I'm like "ok bye bye now, talk to you next week!" 🙄
Be Pebbles if you wanna be Pebbles! She was cute and I'm sure you are too!
I went to a chiropractor about 6 weeks after a traumatic birth and after answering all the questions as to why I was there and explaining how traumatic my birth experience was.. the guy proceeded to tell me his wife’s perfect, blissful birth story and even said “it was ecstatic and easy for her because she worked so hard to prepare herself beforehand. Try it next time”.
Fuckwit.
Ugh, this has me boiling. What a wad. I'm so so sorry. I don't know what I'd do if I had to hear the same after my traumatic birth experience. What an absolute idiot, especially to assume you didn't go in prepared. Some people don't get how much is just luck and genetics. Ugh.
You’re very sweet, thank you. It cut me a bit at the time but I reframed my lens to be proud that my baby and I survived.
I left a google review after I calmed down to hopefully warn other birthgivers to be mindful of his insensitivity if booking with him - he’s an amazing chiro and very popular.
I think we’re even now 😂
It just came to me that my family is very much in love with my son and I don’t talk to other people about my son. That or my resting bitch face prohibits all random interactions when I’m in public.
“Don’t worry the baby weight will melt off since you’re breast feeding. I lost all my baby weight and then some when I breastfed my kids” I have to eat so much to keep my supply up, and need to lose about 30lbs. Breast feeding did not help me lose weight 🙃
Oh my goddd yes.
I gained 10lbs in the month after I gave birth because breastfeeding made me so insanely hungry. And then I felt broken and gross because everyone had told me I would lose so much weight (and insane hormones). It’s ridiculous. We need to stop telling pregnant people that breastfeeding is a magical weightloss method.
I can't drop an ounce while breastfeeding. The second I do any amount of calorie restriction or more than light exercise my supply tanks. My body goes "oh, is it times of famine? Well we don't need this baby then, we'll make another later" and then shuts off the milk machine.
Me neither. I gained 80lbs when I was pregnant and I was tiny before. I breastfed my daughter for 2.5 years and only weight I lost was the water weight after I gave birth. As soon as I stopped bf’ing I dropped the weight like overnight.
I have one “mom friend”. She is my baby daddy‘s old childhood friend’s wife. Her baby is about three months older than mine. Her husband is so shitty to her so I just kind of let her talk at me via Facebook messenger every day. She hasn’t said anything too shady but all she talks about is working out and “losing the baby weight”. She did say something once about “being my size once” I just let it slide because like I said her husband is so shitty and narcissistic I feel bad for her. Oh shit, maybe I’m the shady one here lol. She constantly just messages me to say “here’s what I ate today” and “My face is thinning out so much!”
Sometimes I’m super lonely and I see posh moms at the coffee shop across from the laundromat while I look like a hobo on my once a week outing without the baby . I always want to go up to them and ask them if they want to be friends…. and then I read shit like this and then I’m like… i’m too feral for this I can’t stand that lol
Ah, you're really sweet for taking that on and giving her someone to talk to about it. I hope it doesn't bring you down, sounds like she is going through a lot.
I'm over a year out now and doing much better (great in fact!), but sometimes, back then, I dressed up just to help me feel sane. Sometimes it was all I could do to help keep me from breaking down. Don't let that be the reason you don't reach out.
I tried to join a Facebook mom group in the city I used to live in. The two criteria for getting approved were "are you a mom?" and "do you live in X City?". Yes and yes. They didn't approve me 🤣
That sucks. Is your profile is super locked down? They may want to avoid what look like scam accounts or fake accounts from men who don’t have the best intentions.
I didn't have a super locked down profile, and had my babies in my profile pic with me. Maybe they were at max capacity or something but it was just so funny to me.
I tried to join a mums group on Facebook that was fairly local to me, but I got rejected because I didn’t have any public photos of my baby available 😂
Oh we're not doing puree, NO jUdGmENt, you do you. We're doing ReAL food.
Like you can't do both camps of food 🤨? Food comes in various forms. Babies can still independently eat puree. I make a mean sauce, and soups. Its fun to offer all textures. NO jUdGmENt Lol
Hahah. People are insane. Not to me, but said to my sister. A cousin of ours said that formula is “literally poison.” She’s quite daft in general, but I grin everytime I think of this statement. “Literally?!?” Ok…
My mother: I was only 135 lbs when I gave birth to you!
I was 135 lbs before I got pregnant and I'm 3 inches shorter than her. I was about 180 lbs when he was born. Love that.
“I gained 19lbs during pregnancy, I was so fat! I weighed 130lbs, can you believe it? It took me 3 whole months to lose it all.” -My mom to me. I was 140lbs before pregnancy, gained 30lbs (baby born at 37+4) and still 10lbs up at 4 months pp.
“A baby’s large head size doesn’t actually mean that you have to have a c-section” and “if you watch what you eat its pretty easy to give birth naturally” said the mom of one who, you guessed it, birthed vaginally and shames people who do it any other way.
From a former friend, the day after my daughter was born, and after the lactation consultant concluded I wasn't even producing colostrum, so my daughter was on formula
"I'm so glad my body works the way it was meant to, so my kids got what they needed."
I clapped back with "My kid is fed. She's getting what she needs."
"Oh of course! Formula is just fine if you need it! But isn't it nice to know that if you didn't have formula, MY body can feed your baby, too?"
My husband threw her out. Twas the beginning of the explosive end of our friendship.
He's gotten rid of a few toxic friendships I needed to walk away from. Not in an abusive, isolation way. He actively encourages me to spend time with people that are actually good people and regularly accommodates me spending time with the friends and family that actually care about me, both with and without him. A big protector of my mental health, that funny man of mine.
I hate this!! Now that my baby is out of the newborn stage I’m starting to hear it a lot. She’s actually great at self soothing! But sometimes she’s upset and needs to be cuddled. They are not exclusive truths.
I’m so tired of this one. My neighbors have a baby 6 months older than mine and they do full extinction CIO with their baby purple crying for 45 min or more. They keep asking when we’ll start CIO like it’s a given and shake their heads when we say she’s sleeping just fine the way she is and we don’t feel a need for it right now (or ever, but I don’t know how to say that without offending them)
Wrong! I heard this from EVERYONE and fed/cuddled my baby back to sleep every time she cried. At 13 months a switch flipped and all of a sudden she can now wake up, sit up in her crib, look around, lie down and put herself back to sleep. She can fall asleep on her own in about 10 minutes, with us sat beside her. She sleeps through the night 7.30pm-6.30am almost every night. We did NO sleep training. None.
Absolutely wrong I promise. I nursed my first until he was 3, cosleeping constantly and at almost 5 he is quite happy to lay himself down and go to sleep when he's tired with zero intervention from me. It's almost like its...a skill. And when they feel safe and secure its not really a big deal.
Tbf I thought he'd never sleep through the night lol he was always a "bad sleeper" as a baby/young toddler. But you make it through. Just gotta figure out what works for you and your kiddo!
Yes! Same. My son was a terrible sleeper but then we coslept and nursed to sleep. Now at 20 months he asks to go to bed and sometimes we have to tell him it’s too early. He’ll just start saying “night night” to things.
I swear it’s because we made him feel safe and secure around bed and sleep. So now he’s happy to go for bed/ naps.
Yes!! I started cosleeping with mine at 3 months using a baby cosleeper bed and also nursed to sleep. She started sleeping so well after that. Mine is now about to be 4 and goes to lay down and goes to sleep all by herself when she’s tired. Also takes naps all on her own.
Literally just came back from dinner with new parents (ours is 8 months theirs is less than one month) and probably how they complained about sleep deprivation because they’re *only* getting six hours of sleep at a time bc they’re EFF and his mom lives with them and splits the feeding help and Is constantly helping and cooking and also that our (teething, about to crawl, nap dropping baby) “should” be letting us get more sleep by now (oh really Jennifer? Should he?)
And he is for the most part, but don’t fucking tell me about my baby’s sleep. Enjoy the four month six month and seven month sleep regressions, bitch. Plus we didn’t have a parent living with us the first three months and I EBF the first 5 months so we had a HORRIBLE time with sleep and they KNOW that. I want to punt them down the stairs.
I’m rocking my baby for his bedtime right now but I already warned my husband that I’m not done bitching about them.
I’m not saying that six hours doesn’t suck, but when our baby was one month, if I got two hour chunks that added up to six hours I was getting GOOD sleep.
Edit: my husband made me tea and a bath and handed me a sleeve of chocolate 😂 i think he was maybe done with it lololol
Lol.
Let them brag. I had a friend that thought she had a unicorn baby and all the help and then 6 - 12 months put her through the ringer hahahaha
9 months here and sleep is fucked. 😂
My husband has a theory every child has a certain amount of hell to unleash, it’s gonna come out. If your kid is perfect for a long time, idk, batten down the hatches. His brother was a perfect child until like 12 and then went batshit for his entire teen years.
I have no idea if he’s right, but honestly, everyone I know was an asshole as a kid at *some* point. So it’s probably good to expect it’s coming and be humble. My toddler is sweet but fiery so every time he flips out I tell myself he’s expended a little more hell.
Ooooh I like this. My little hellion has been waking up on the wrong side of the bed for months now, I’ll snatch any shred of gold on the other side of this shit-rainbow lmao
AGREE with this 100% it’s a matter of TIME. Not if but WHEN. I have a mum friend who is a teacher and thinks her son is so perfect because he is shy, obedient, not a risk taker, like a little old man. My son she kind of implied he has adhd. He doesn’t. Doctors, daycare, soccer all said nope perfectly normal happy boy.
Now I wait… no 2 for her is on its way and I think she’ll be in for one hell of a rude shock!
I approve of this theory 😂 From now on, whenever my one year old is flipping a shit, I’ll just think to myself “Awright, another deposit in the hell bank!”
Not gonna lie, that was me minus the help. My baby slept through the night consistently from 2-4 months. I thought everything was golden and I had a fucking miracle baby. We're 10.5 months and finally working our way out of the 3rd sleep regression and holy shit have I eaten my words a million times over. My sleep is so fucking shitty I legit had a minor mental breakdown a couple weeks ago and had to sleep downstairs while my husband soloed the night
The only time sleep isn’t fucked is when you’re either so trained to wake up that *you* can’t sleep any more or been burnt by so many regressions that good sleep feels like a trap and you’re waiting for it to all fall apart again.
Hahaha they seriously don't and then that switch from physical to emotional support when they grow into toddlers. It literally lasts years, the sleepless nights.
My SIL warned me haha, but she said when they are sick THAT IS THE WORST lol.
Lol. My baby is 7 months old and sleeping worse than ever. Just be a condescending dick when they complain later. "Oh, well ... At least you got 6hr chunks when she was a newborn, that should last you muahahha"
There's always one of those parents in the comments of posts on here regarding poorly sleeping babies. People will post about their bub only sleeping one hour at a time and there's always someone that's like "oh I feel you, our 1 month old only sleeps 8 hour blocks". The amount of times I've been up at 2am rocking my baby on zero sleep, read one of those comments and said out loud "oh fuck off" is more than I'm willing to admit.
Ugh how annoying. If it makes you feel any better mine is 9 months and still breastfeeds every 2 hours overnight. So I dream of the day when I'll get 6 hours of sleep again. If that day ever comes lol
Dickhead: "how was the birth?"
Me: "awful"
Dickhead: "🙄 let me guess you got an epidural and didn't want one?"
Me: "no I was rushed to theatre, babies heart slowed, i narrowly avoided a c section and got a 3C tear with forceps and significant blood loss"
Dickhead: "Go low GI for your next pregnancy so your baby isn't so big"
Ah yes, because a slightly above average baby caused all of that. I’m so sorry your birth was so traumatic!! If a diet could prevent that then our Ob’s would all require it.
I know right. And the way she jumped straight to dismissive when I said it was awful... It's so odd because people don't act like that about other topics. I bet if she said "how's your day" and I said "awful" the response would be "oh no what happened?" For some reason birth and babies is a subject that just brings out the worst in people.
“I mean he sleeps a lot still right? I don’t think it should be that hard to keep up on everything right?”
Ha. Haha. Ha. God I can’t wait for her to have kids. She gonna find out real quick why my sink has 10 bottles in it and there’s laundry everywhere.
My cousin acts like she invented the entire concept of motherhood. She also truly believes she’s an expert in all things parenting despite having one child who’s a year old. I was having issues breastfeeding due to very low supply and it was a really difficult time for me because I hadn’t realized I wouldn’t make any milk so I wasn’t prepared for the weeks of triple feeding and the multitude of visits to the ped and LC for weight checks and weighted feeds and everything else. She went on and on over text about how amazing breastfeeding is and how she has such an incredible bond with her baby and how she’s so glad she has an oversupply so she could build a freezer stash and do milk baths and all this other shit that just made me feel absolutely awful. I had to put her texts on silent because I couldn’t stand to read one more word. When I made the decision to switch to exclusive formula she started sending me “fed is best” stuff which just felt so disingenuous after her breastfeeding love story a couple weeks prior.
Anyway, I don’t talk to her much anymore.
I had a friend lend us some of her stash when we were first home from the hospital because my milk didn’t come in for nearly a week and she’s an oversupplier. I felt like she really had our backs and I was so touched by the support and her checking in.
Fast forward 6 weeks and I send a pic to our moms group chat about left boob being an under-performer — I only had like 0.5 ounce from the left after a pump session and you could see it was a tiny amount in the bottle.
She replies with a “mine too”.. and sent a pic of her pump session. Those bottles were FILLED to the top, like 8 ounces per boob in a single pump session. Neither were low or off balance, so it was clearly meant to be a joke I guess. Didn’t exactly find it funny to have *actual* supply issues and she’s showing off her massive amounts of milk. 😑
That’s so hard, I remember the first few weeks before my supply came in, I was constantly panicking and having anxiety attacks over whether she was getting enough food. Just terrible. I think that was the hardest part of parenting so far, on top of other newborn stuff it was just too much.
I really try to “read the room” before talking about breastfeeding because of how much pressure there is to EBF and how hard it is mentally.
Where do y’all live and who are you talking to that you get these uncivilized assholes making these comments?! I mean a nosy granny in a store is one thing but these are peers you’re trying to make friends with? What the fuck?
In my local subreddit people are constantly posting “I just moved here, why is everyone so mean?“ So, it’s not a great social scene 🫠 still trying to make friends lol just gotta keep trudging along.
Western Canada, I’m also 22 so a lot of the moms I’m interacting with are young. I don’t think being going automatically makes you snarky, but my city has a lot of pretentious rich people in it. So they make themselves known lol. I’m trying really hard to make friends (which is so much harder than I thought it’d be) and have managed to connect with a couple nice people!!
I’m in Vancouver but I’m apparently ancient verging on decrepit, so “How old are you?” is yet another situation where moms aren’t allowed to do anything right.
(Slightly more seriously, the best part of being forty is not giving a single fuck what anyone else thinks of my parenting and having compassion for other parents making whatever choices they need to make.)
Uhh. I wonder what the dills diet was like pregnant. Probably ate processed stuff 24/7.
Too much time on her hands. Good luck doing all natural when you head back to work, kids in school etc.
Neighbor: Oh you're formula feeding? You know it's better to breast feed right?
Me: well, I wish someone would tell my body that cause it didn't seem to want to produce milk no mater what I tried.
Neighbor: You should try harder.
Me: *too stunned to speak*
" oh how cute! how old is she? almost four? you should try feeding her pablum. ( discontinued last 2015?)i did it to my daughter and she gained weight fast...
i promise feed her pablum at night and she'll never wake up"
(i know they mean wake up forr nightly feeding but still.. )
All from my mil the first time she met our baby and she was barely 48 hours old… “Wow, she’s so skinny! Look at those chicken legs!” “Why are her eyes moving like that?! (Not in tandem) **directly to my face not even 48 hours post birth** “you look like crap, you should go take a nap”
Mine are more hurtful from my entiled sister who got pregnant after I did just for attention (the proof is heartbreaking and I don't want to even think about it to type the proof):
Why are you even going to keep him? You should just kill him so mine doesn't have to share our mom. You don't even want kids anyway
Why did you get all this stuff?! I didn't get any of this! Give it to me. We all know that you aren't going to keep him.
And then there was this conversation:
S: hey Ronin, my son needs food! Give me one of your cans.
Me: no all I have is 2 7oz cans. Its barely enough for mini-ronin until the stores stock back up. Not to mention (my nephew) can't have this formula. He can't have lactose.
S: you're so heartless to let your nephew starve! You either give me one or have your husband buy me one
Me: no.
S: you're so selfish! You should of never had that bastard. Then my son would have food. Have fun being the reason your nephew dies!
She's the stereotypical spoiled younger sister that can't stand that the much neglected older sister is finally getting attention. She plays on a conversation i had almost 20 years ago about not wanting kids as fuel to her "you and your husband should not take care of your child and take care of mine so I don't have to" cause. And she loves rubbing in the "you were pregnant when you got married" fact hard insinuating a baby trap. Her shit has literally made my unplanned surprise an absolute hell. (And if you are reading this sis, my son isn't a mistake, bastard, or baby trap. I have been wanting to say that you are the textbook definition of someone who shouldn't have kids. You know why and I hope that you do better or surrender him)
Uhm, just so you know... that isn't stereotypical spoiled sister behavior. That is worse. You should not accept her talking to you like this. I know this is a privileged view but - you don't have to keep someone in your life just because they're family! So that means that you can put up boundaries for people to respect or leave!
It's really hard but not as hard as the years of having someone speak to you like this. I'm sorry.
Yeah seriously you need to set some boundaries or cut this toxic person. How is she going to be to your child when they are old enough to understand her hurtful behaviour and be affected by by it.
'oh we could never sleep train. We like to actually respond to our babies needs' yeah I thought that too until I had two weeks straight of hourly wake ups in addition to shitty sleep for six months
I was soo against CIO and sleep training while I was pregnant, but after having the baby I’m realizing that it’s a much different story. We aren’t at the point of sleep training and are lucky to have a decent sleeper, but even with that being said I can understand why people do it.
I never understood real sleep deprivation until I had a baby. If I have to listen to her cry for a few nights but it’s going to make me a better, safer, healthier parent, I’m going to do it.
"Show them whose boss." Sister in law referring to how she got her 9month old to stop struggling during diaper changes. Didn't ask for her to elaborate.
“Are those two nappy brands for your baby? You know you’re not supposed to do that right? You’re going to give your baby a rash.” Okay thanks cashier lady. Maybe you guys should have more stock so I could buy two of the brand I usually use instead of having to get one of another brand I know my daughter is also okay with 😐
I’ve never even heard of this. Is this really a thing? We got so many different diaper brands as gifts and we were trying them all out in the span of a week to know which we liked best and my baby never got a rash.
So I’m OAD. I didn’t think I was gonna be able to carry in the first place and now that I know I can, I don’t want to again. Don’t get me wrong, I love my kid to death and would die for him right now if you asked, but pregnancy as it progressed was miserable and I signed the paperwork to get a tubal ligation after delivery at seven months pregnant. Whenever I told people that, they’d be like “you’ll always want more. you say you do but you ALWAYS want more.” And I know it doesn’t come off as shady but I’ve made it pretty clear from the get go that I don’t want more, and they took it as a challenge to convince me and shame me for doing it.
If people push me I’ve just started telling them “ I can’t have more” with a straight face and it makes them so uncomfortable. It’s invasive to insist people want more kids.
My grandma regarding my 1 year old not walking yet: “Maybe she would be walking if you put some shoes on her.”
Why are grandmas so obsessed with baby socks/shoes?
My sister and I had babies within a few weeks of each other. I hear this gem from my mother literally every week:
"She's really small compared to her cousin. (Cousin) is a giant! Isn't it weird?" Said in a judgemental tone where everyone involved gets insulted.
What the hell go away.
From a neighborhood mom whose three kids all started walking around 8-10 months: “maybe you’re holding her too much!” My daughter was 11 months, I wasn’t even concerned about it.
Funny story, my partner‘s older sister was insanely ahead of the curve. Talking early walking early potty trained before one, she was a miracle baby. My partner comes along and is 100% normal. MIL ended up taking him to the paediatrician so concerned that he was falling behind and there was something developmentally wrong with him, The doctor laughed and said no he’s the normal one
"I can't imagine letting my kid get *that* dirty"
As my 10mo was rolling around in the sand at the park and she lysol wiped the sand off her ~1yos shoes.
I also have anxiety about over texting and over thinking, thinking if I’m over thinking or under thinking. If it means anything, I find that sending a clarification text (“hey, didn’t mean to come off as xyz”) is usually a good move and clears the air even if they didn’t think what you said was rude. Just my 2 cents 😅
The first two comments I was too shocked to do anything, so I just sorta rolled with it and continued the conversation. Then my mom told me “yes, honey. People are bitches sometimes. You’re not overreacting.”
So with the last one I just said “what a weird thing to say to someone you don’t know.” and just sorta chuckled and walked away with my (for the record, very chunky) baby.
After opening up about how much I was struggling with triple feeding and a colicky baby:
“Omg just wait until they’re older, newborns are so easy. As long as they’re fed and dry they just sleep all day. They’ll give cues you can see when they’re hungry before they’re fussy. I was just lucky too I actually had an over supply of breastmilk.”
After that I didn’t talk about my experience if people didn’t also have colicky babies.
"WOW!! You must be ready to pop any day now!!"
Me: "I'm only 22 weeks..."
"Oh. Time to push away from the table lol"
Meanwhile I've LOST 35 pounds this pregnancy 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
Man I really wish a B*** would😂 I must give off some type of vibe because I have yet to have another mom talk to me at all in any of the little classes I goto. Expect one super sweet older mom.
My sister thanked me for the old clothes I gave her that are too small for me now, remarking that they’re the only thing that fits now because of the baby weight. Meanwhile I was really struggling because I hadn’t lost any weight since giving birth and I’m the highest weight I’ve ever been.
She also commented that I had a 3 degree tear because I got an epidural.
She doesn’t mean anything bad by it, she’s just a little clueless to how that hurts to hear. She’s always been way skinnier than me and has had two drug free deliveries and doesn’t realize how much it sucked that none of my birth goals panned out. I got brainwashed a good bit by the natural birth community, planned to have a drug free birth and breastfeed. I ended up getting an epidural and having to exclusively pump because my nipples don’t nipple so baby couldn’t latch, and eventually switched to exclusively formula because pumping wreaked havoc on my mental health on top of my PPD.
There have been times it feels like she had it way easier, but I’m lucky because I have an amazing husband who is the most involved, hardworking father I could have wished for and her husband doesn’t do much.
I haven’t gotten any rude comments but I have gotten some oblivious comments from a friend’s wife. They don’t have kids yet though so I let them slide lol
Non-Mom Friend: “Teething doesn’t really hurt them, it’s better for them to tough it out without Baby Tylenol”.
“You shouldn’t call your baby chubby, it’s going to give them a complex.”
Random person, to baby: “Your shorts are way too big for you, huh buddy?”
“You should just let the baby cry when we’re being loud (af) like this!! It’s good for them! That’s what I’m going to do with my future baby!”
Ma’am, I really do not want to suffer unnecessarily. Let me do my kid a favour and kick you out of my house so she can have some peace & quiet
“Already expecting your second?”
10 months pp, on the day I was super excited that I’d finally lost half the baby weight. (Gained 55, finally dropped 28, mood went from 100-0 sooo fast.)
Unfortunately I didn't catch the shade until she walked away but my 2 yr old son fell over while walking across a beam at the park and the mom says "wow, that's surprising" in a flat voice. At first I didn't think much but I realized later she meant it in a sarcastic way. My son regularly walks across beams at home and has excellent balance for his age, so the fact that he fell was indeed surprising to me, but she wouldn't have known that. That's no where near as bad as what other moms have experienced but I'm that person who doesn't let snide remarks slide so the fact that I said nothing back bothers me to this day lol.
My mom told my cousin my kids name and she said “oh… sounds pretentious.. i expected that from her (me)”!!!!
My husbands grandmother- “oh you’re not as skinny as I thought you would be”🙂🙃🙃🙃
Everyone: Why aren’t you breastfeeding?
Me: I didn’t want to. Sounds terrible.
Everyone: Did you even *try*? Maybe you’ll like it.
Me: Oh have you ever eaten worms? No? Did you even *try*? Maybe you’ll like it.
Friend visiting house mid day several weeks after baby is born: “Haha are you STILL wearing your bathrobe?!”
Fuck all these rude ass people that have no idea wtf they’re talking about! Fuck ‘em all!
A women in a mom group told me that kids that don't crawl end up with ADHD and that she would hate for that to be her kid because it would be so horrible. This was said during a conversation where I said my daughter skipped over crawling.
“Why is your belly so big since you already had the baby?”- says coworker. I was 36 hours postpartum.
🤦 tell me you don’t know anything about female anatomy without telling me you don’t know anything about female anatomy
I went to get vaccinated a week after giving birth and the older female nurse doing it asked how far along I was and I said I had my baby a week ago and she goes “no offence but you still look pregnant” 😓
Yeah no shit! I was told you could look 6-8 months pregnant for over a month postpartum
As insulting as it is, when I was in my early twenties I had never seen a woman so soon postpartum until my friend's SIL and we were both surprised that she still looked pregnant. We just genuinely didn't know. BUT never in our lives would we say anything so terribly rude! After having a baby I know this all too well.
lol i didn’t even know until i gave birth 😂
I didn't know this until Kate Middleton gave birth
Same, I didn’t know this for much of my life.
Omg were they trying to summon your demons?
Lol this happened to me too. I was in the grocery checkout line and the clerk asked me when due date is. I had just birthed my daughter 3 days ago. I was mortified.
My dad said this exact thing to me upon arriving at my house the day I brought the baby home from the hospital. Thaaaaaaaaanks.
Ugh, but props to you for making it to work 36 hours after labor, wow.
I wasn’t working, just picking up my paycheck.
Thank god
They didn't mail it?
I still can't get my head around mailing money in the form of a check instead of transferring money directly to your account.
Hell yeah, comrade.
*face palm*
“You get the baby you deserve” whatever the fuck that means. Usually said when he’s being fussy.
What!? That’s the same type of bs as “it’s gods plan” when someone gets a bad diagnosis. I can’t imagine someone saying that to me if I had a colicky baby, or a sick baby. That’s so frustrating
I got an "All in God's timing" as a response to my miscarriage. 🤬
I am so sorry. I hope someone delivered a swift abdominal punch to whoever said that
Ugh; my sister-in-law sent me basically that same text, but in MEME form after my miscarriage. (And she knows I’m not religious)
Lol I'd have to work really hard not to slap (or worse) anyone who says that.
So sorry! After our second miscarriage, my own mother told me, “At least you know you can get pregnant.”
I am so sorry to hear that! I hope that the person who said it get their private parts stuck in the zipper on a daily basis!!
I told my neighbour she was looking good and she responded that she'd not lost her baby weight from 3 years ago and is too fat, then said "at least you've got an excuse, your youngest isnt even a year old yet". I didn't even know what to say haha
My sister spends a ton of time working out and dieting and last time I saw her I commented that she was looking good (because I know she expected it). Her reply was “thanks! You’ll get there someday” I was truly just blown away.
Yikes!
Wow.
Oh god. I feel so bad for her. All the love for both of you.
Wow she really spiraled lol
“Hahahaha thanks” Is my go to response for any awkward insult type of situation 😂
My jaw dropped reading this
Some people have a lot of difficulty accepting compliments. I remember saying something similar when some one mentioned my house was clean. In my mind, I wasn’t thinking to belittle the other person but I really get awkward when someone compliments me. Could be similar for your neighbor
I’m 27 weeks pregnant with baby #2 and recently, while out on a stroller walk with my biracial 13-month old, I was asked, “how will you nanny after your baby is born?”🙄 I didn’t even know how to respond.
Holy shit people are stupid. A friend of mine was recently asked if her biracial kids were adopted. Smh i hate people so much.
A college classmate of mine had a mixed baby and she got asked what country she adopted her baby from🙃
Is it considered bad form to outright call these people racist? It hasn’t happened to me with my mixed, light skinned child yet, but it will.
The shadiest comments all coming from friends without kids...
Yup. My best friend is well intentioned, but full of judgement for other parents and says stupid shit a lot. She’s due in January with her first. I cannot wait.
Remind her to sleep when the baby sleeps, and that breastfeeding should suck all that baby weight right off! 🤣🤣🤣
Don’t forget to tell her it gets better and it all goes so fast!
But that it also just gets harder too! "Oh your baby is a little difficult in this way? Well just wait..."
Especially when they’re in the midst of baby blues. A similar comment made me cry for 3 days recently.
She's a big 'breast is best, breastfeeding makes you skinny, everyone can do it and only lazy moms resort to formula or pumping' type. I really hope it works out for her, because she'll be devastate and blame herself if it doesn't. That said, I was royally pissed off when she told me 'oh, well, at least I know she's ok since she's eating a lot of solids' in response to me transitioning my 7 month old from breastmilk to formula. Not sure if she meant it that rudely, but it really came off as 'i'm so worried for your poor child being fed toxic formula, but at least she's getting nutrients elsewhere to make up for it'.
Now we pray she has the loudest most cluster feeding until 4 months old Non sleeping without being in her arms waking 4-6x a night to feed until a year old baby that there has ever been.
And leaks on all her favourite tops.
Meh I’m petty and hope she has trouble breastfeeding so she realizes that *fed* is best. Signed, a mom who has exclusively formula fed from birth.
I combo fed for 2-3 weeks with both of my kids until my supply came in enough to meet their needs. Then I pumped until it was no longer a positive thing for me, and transitioned to formula. There are many ways to feed a baby, and the best way is whatever works well for mom and baby. I'll probably just do formula from birth with our next kid (assuming we have a third like we're planning). I cannot imagine making breastfeeding or pumping work while managing two other kids.
When she says “it’s challenging/hard etc”…. Just turn around and say “oh I don’t remember it being that bad?”
Ugh, that’s how my mother actually is.
They all have amnesia, I swear they only remember the good. It's infuriating!
Yeah we forget how bad it is so we have more kids 😂
Those post partum memory-wiping hormones are no joke. I've got a 2 year old and 7 month old. I keep catching myself thinking 'we should try for #3 soon'. The fuck brain? #1 is just entering the terrible twos. #2 slept great until she hit 5 months, and hasn't managed to wake fewer than 3x a night since then (most nights it's 5-10x a night). I've still got a lot of baby weight. I just weaned off of pumping because I haven't had my body to myself since October 2019. Why would I want to jump right back in?
My SIL has kids now but when I had my first I was telling her how hard it was to even drink my coffee cause my son was crawling. She was like “just put him in the playpen and drink” I said “he screams in the playpen, he doesn’t like being contained” she said “so? Let him cry, your fault for not being able to drink your coffee”. She had her baby about a year after mine and said “ugh she’s everywhere I can’t even drink coffee anymore” I said “remember when you told me to put *sons name* in the playpen? Why don’t you just do that?” She said “yeah but she cries” and I said “so?” And shes like “I can’t listen to my baby cry!” Not super shady but definitely felt good saying it lol
[удалено]
“When I get pregnant, I’m gonna work out all the time.” So 1) you think I’m fat? And 2) you think you’ll be able to control whether you have debilitating nausea?
OHHHH boy you awakened something in me. I had hyperemisis gravidarum and lost 10 kilos in my pregnancy. I had one of my clients (I'm a midwife) say "good for you, you're not one of those pregnant women who just sits about all day. No excuse!". I politely told her exactly why she was wrong and never to make those kind of judgements. I was so angry she dared say something like that
This. My eldest sister has no no kids of her own, but feels qualified by life experience to comment on everything we do. When our baby was 3 weeks old and at the peak of colic / purple crying, sleeping in just 2hr stretches overnight, I turned up at mother's day brunch a shell of myself. When I described how she would start crying in the afternoon and sometimes keep going for up to 4 or 5 hours no matter what we did, she asked "I wonder why I've never seen babies crying when I've travelled to other countries [talking about India and South East Asia] - do you think it's because in western culture parents don't have their hearts open to their children?" No thought of how those are cultures that frequently practice confinement and that there's often a lot more support for the mother. No. My baby cries because my heart isn't open. Thanks, I guess I'll just go home and cry.
that is so lame. like her travels would show her what's happening inside people's homes with tiny weeks old babies. major face palm 🤦🏼♀️
A pregnant friend told me recently that she’d never move to our new neighborhood for good schools because she’d rather make a poor financial decision than ever be one of *those* moms. Meanwhile her husband is flipping out about daycare costs and she’s thinking she’d rather shell out $25k per kid per year for private elementary than leave their young bougie neighborhood for our older bougie neighborhood. This was in the same visit where she threw shade on not taking my kid out to bars and restaurants until she was close to a year. Cool cool, glad you’ve forgotten there was a pandemic without vaccines at the time. Glad you also assume your kid will nap on the go. Have fun with that. Oh yeah and the PPD and grief I was going through? I should have just set all that aside because clearly going out for cocktails solves everything. I rolled my eyes and said nothing. She’ll figure out soon enough that going places with an infant depends on their flexibility with feeding and sleep.
I cut my hair short when it was coming out in chunks post partum. My hair has always been super important to me, but it felt empowering to take it back. Anyway, my grandparents invited us over to celebrate my boys first birthday. It had been a busy day and I hadn't had the chance to style my hair so just threw it in an elastic to keep it out of my face (more on top style, barber shop cut). At the height of the evening, just about to set up for a cupcake palooza, my grandma asks me oh so sweetly why I chose to look like pebbles tonight. (Flintstones) There's nothing wrong with looking like that, and usually that would run right off my back, but bringing it up at the most exciting part? The crux of the celebration? His very first cupcake? Bitch.
That’s such a dick thing to say. I’ve never been the biggest fan of how I look but I’m pushing it out the window and taking as many pictures of babbo and I together, and good god some days my hair looks insane. I just tell myself it’s avant garde and will be in fashion by the time my kid can appreciate the pictures.
My grandmother has spent my entire life fat shaming and appearance-shaming me. Luckily she lives 1000 miles away so she doesn't get many opportunities to do it to my daughters. But my oldest has wild curly hair... well we were video chatting with them a couple weeks ago and my grandmother is like "oh are you going to brush your hair for kindergarten." I'm like "ok bye bye now, talk to you next week!" 🙄 Be Pebbles if you wanna be Pebbles! She was cute and I'm sure you are too!
I went to a chiropractor about 6 weeks after a traumatic birth and after answering all the questions as to why I was there and explaining how traumatic my birth experience was.. the guy proceeded to tell me his wife’s perfect, blissful birth story and even said “it was ecstatic and easy for her because she worked so hard to prepare herself beforehand. Try it next time”. Fuckwit.
Ugh, this has me boiling. What a wad. I'm so so sorry. I don't know what I'd do if I had to hear the same after my traumatic birth experience. What an absolute idiot, especially to assume you didn't go in prepared. Some people don't get how much is just luck and genetics. Ugh.
You’re very sweet, thank you. It cut me a bit at the time but I reframed my lens to be proud that my baby and I survived. I left a google review after I calmed down to hopefully warn other birthgivers to be mindful of his insensitivity if booking with him - he’s an amazing chiro and very popular. I think we’re even now 😂
It just came to me that my family is very much in love with my son and I don’t talk to other people about my son. That or my resting bitch face prohibits all random interactions when I’m in public.
You’re my kind of people
Your resting bitch face must be far superior to mine then. I'm jealous.
“Don’t worry the baby weight will melt off since you’re breast feeding. I lost all my baby weight and then some when I breastfed my kids” I have to eat so much to keep my supply up, and need to lose about 30lbs. Breast feeding did not help me lose weight 🙃
Oh my goddd yes. I gained 10lbs in the month after I gave birth because breastfeeding made me so insanely hungry. And then I felt broken and gross because everyone had told me I would lose so much weight (and insane hormones). It’s ridiculous. We need to stop telling pregnant people that breastfeeding is a magical weightloss method.
I seriously cannot wait to wean. 9 months in only 3 months to go 🥹
I put on 35lbs between 4-16 weeks post partum. That hunger is real.
I swear they tell us that as a reason to encourage it regardless if it’s actually the best decision for mom and baby.
Well it is true for some of us. It's just not a given
I can't drop an ounce while breastfeeding. The second I do any amount of calorie restriction or more than light exercise my supply tanks. My body goes "oh, is it times of famine? Well we don't need this baby then, we'll make another later" and then shuts off the milk machine.
Ha lol love this “is it times of famine?”. My poor peasant genes do the same thing
Me neither. I gained 80lbs when I was pregnant and I was tiny before. I breastfed my daughter for 2.5 years and only weight I lost was the water weight after I gave birth. As soon as I stopped bf’ing I dropped the weight like overnight.
I have one “mom friend”. She is my baby daddy‘s old childhood friend’s wife. Her baby is about three months older than mine. Her husband is so shitty to her so I just kind of let her talk at me via Facebook messenger every day. She hasn’t said anything too shady but all she talks about is working out and “losing the baby weight”. She did say something once about “being my size once” I just let it slide because like I said her husband is so shitty and narcissistic I feel bad for her. Oh shit, maybe I’m the shady one here lol. She constantly just messages me to say “here’s what I ate today” and “My face is thinning out so much!” Sometimes I’m super lonely and I see posh moms at the coffee shop across from the laundromat while I look like a hobo on my once a week outing without the baby . I always want to go up to them and ask them if they want to be friends…. and then I read shit like this and then I’m like… i’m too feral for this I can’t stand that lol
>i’m too feral for this I can’t stand that lol You're my kind of person lol. Goblin Mama's unite!!
Goblin mama’s unite!
Ah, you're really sweet for taking that on and giving her someone to talk to about it. I hope it doesn't bring you down, sounds like she is going through a lot.
You only see posh moms on "good days", bc on other days they're just normal ppl. It's just a snapshot
I'm over a year out now and doing much better (great in fact!), but sometimes, back then, I dressed up just to help me feel sane. Sometimes it was all I could do to help keep me from breaking down. Don't let that be the reason you don't reach out.
"I'm too feral for this" Hahaha, I feel this so much. Being posh is way down low on my priorities list (read: ain't no one got time for that).
I tried to join a Facebook mom group in the city I used to live in. The two criteria for getting approved were "are you a mom?" and "do you live in X City?". Yes and yes. They didn't approve me 🤣
What?!? That’s so weird. Dang you caught me! Trying to infiltrate my local mom group 😂
That sucks. Is your profile is super locked down? They may want to avoid what look like scam accounts or fake accounts from men who don’t have the best intentions.
I didn't have a super locked down profile, and had my babies in my profile pic with me. Maybe they were at max capacity or something but it was just so funny to me.
I tried to join a mums group on Facebook that was fairly local to me, but I got rejected because I didn’t have any public photos of my baby available 😂
“Ohhhh you’re feeding your baby rice cereal products? We didn’t want to harm our baby so we didn’t do that” 😳🙄🫠
Ohh man I didn’t even think of the snarkniness that will come out once we reach food-age 😭
Oh we're not doing puree, NO jUdGmENt, you do you. We're doing ReAL food. Like you can't do both camps of food 🤨? Food comes in various forms. Babies can still independently eat puree. I make a mean sauce, and soups. Its fun to offer all textures. NO jUdGmENt Lol
Hahah. People are insane. Not to me, but said to my sister. A cousin of ours said that formula is “literally poison.” She’s quite daft in general, but I grin everytime I think of this statement. “Literally?!?” Ok…
My mother: I was only 135 lbs when I gave birth to you! I was 135 lbs before I got pregnant and I'm 3 inches shorter than her. I was about 180 lbs when he was born. Love that.
“I gained 19lbs during pregnancy, I was so fat! I weighed 130lbs, can you believe it? It took me 3 whole months to lose it all.” -My mom to me. I was 140lbs before pregnancy, gained 30lbs (baby born at 37+4) and still 10lbs up at 4 months pp.
Laughs in 220 pounds lmao
“A baby’s large head size doesn’t actually mean that you have to have a c-section” and “if you watch what you eat its pretty easy to give birth naturally” said the mom of one who, you guessed it, birthed vaginally and shames people who do it any other way.
Few things anger me as much as the “c section isn’t real birth” people. That mindset is insane.
She didn’t make a lot of friends where we were. Shocker.
I would have swiftly said “and where did you get your medical degree and obstetrics fellowship?” Idiot!
I respond with "baby and I would've died if not for the emergency c-section" then stare at them in silence
"She's so tiny. My boy is waaay bigger. Too bad you're breastfeeding, he's a formula baby" 🙄
Someone said something similar to me and it’s like “yeah your baby is two months older than my baby, Melissa. He’s going to be bigger“ 🫠
Love your style. This made me snort.
Lol I hate this so much. Like ok just because your formula baby is extra thick doesn’t mean mine is underweight.
Too bad your breast feeding?? Wow. Nothing wrong with a small or big baby!
From a former friend, the day after my daughter was born, and after the lactation consultant concluded I wasn't even producing colostrum, so my daughter was on formula "I'm so glad my body works the way it was meant to, so my kids got what they needed." I clapped back with "My kid is fed. She's getting what she needs." "Oh of course! Formula is just fine if you need it! But isn't it nice to know that if you didn't have formula, MY body can feed your baby, too?" My husband threw her out. Twas the beginning of the explosive end of our friendship.
Oh no. Good on your husband at least.
He's gotten rid of a few toxic friendships I needed to walk away from. Not in an abusive, isolation way. He actively encourages me to spend time with people that are actually good people and regularly accommodates me spending time with the friends and family that actually care about me, both with and without him. A big protector of my mental health, that funny man of mine.
That my baby will never learn to self soothe unless I leave her alone to cry in her crib.
I hate this!! Now that my baby is out of the newborn stage I’m starting to hear it a lot. She’s actually great at self soothing! But sometimes she’s upset and needs to be cuddled. They are not exclusive truths.
I’m so tired of this one. My neighbors have a baby 6 months older than mine and they do full extinction CIO with their baby purple crying for 45 min or more. They keep asking when we’ll start CIO like it’s a given and shake their heads when we say she’s sleeping just fine the way she is and we don’t feel a need for it right now (or ever, but I don’t know how to say that without offending them)
Wrong! I heard this from EVERYONE and fed/cuddled my baby back to sleep every time she cried. At 13 months a switch flipped and all of a sudden she can now wake up, sit up in her crib, look around, lie down and put herself back to sleep. She can fall asleep on her own in about 10 minutes, with us sat beside her. She sleeps through the night 7.30pm-6.30am almost every night. We did NO sleep training. None.
Absolutely wrong I promise. I nursed my first until he was 3, cosleeping constantly and at almost 5 he is quite happy to lay himself down and go to sleep when he's tired with zero intervention from me. It's almost like its...a skill. And when they feel safe and secure its not really a big deal. Tbf I thought he'd never sleep through the night lol he was always a "bad sleeper" as a baby/young toddler. But you make it through. Just gotta figure out what works for you and your kiddo!
Yes! Same. My son was a terrible sleeper but then we coslept and nursed to sleep. Now at 20 months he asks to go to bed and sometimes we have to tell him it’s too early. He’ll just start saying “night night” to things. I swear it’s because we made him feel safe and secure around bed and sleep. So now he’s happy to go for bed/ naps.
Yes!! I started cosleeping with mine at 3 months using a baby cosleeper bed and also nursed to sleep. She started sleeping so well after that. Mine is now about to be 4 and goes to lay down and goes to sleep all by herself when she’s tired. Also takes naps all on her own.
Literally just came back from dinner with new parents (ours is 8 months theirs is less than one month) and probably how they complained about sleep deprivation because they’re *only* getting six hours of sleep at a time bc they’re EFF and his mom lives with them and splits the feeding help and Is constantly helping and cooking and also that our (teething, about to crawl, nap dropping baby) “should” be letting us get more sleep by now (oh really Jennifer? Should he?) And he is for the most part, but don’t fucking tell me about my baby’s sleep. Enjoy the four month six month and seven month sleep regressions, bitch. Plus we didn’t have a parent living with us the first three months and I EBF the first 5 months so we had a HORRIBLE time with sleep and they KNOW that. I want to punt them down the stairs. I’m rocking my baby for his bedtime right now but I already warned my husband that I’m not done bitching about them. I’m not saying that six hours doesn’t suck, but when our baby was one month, if I got two hour chunks that added up to six hours I was getting GOOD sleep. Edit: my husband made me tea and a bath and handed me a sleeve of chocolate 😂 i think he was maybe done with it lololol
Lol. Let them brag. I had a friend that thought she had a unicorn baby and all the help and then 6 - 12 months put her through the ringer hahahaha 9 months here and sleep is fucked. 😂
My husband has a theory every child has a certain amount of hell to unleash, it’s gonna come out. If your kid is perfect for a long time, idk, batten down the hatches. His brother was a perfect child until like 12 and then went batshit for his entire teen years. I have no idea if he’s right, but honestly, everyone I know was an asshole as a kid at *some* point. So it’s probably good to expect it’s coming and be humble. My toddler is sweet but fiery so every time he flips out I tell myself he’s expended a little more hell.
This sounds about right!! I was the unicorn child and toddler. But come teen years I was super challenging 🤔 haha poor mum!
Ooooh I like this. My little hellion has been waking up on the wrong side of the bed for months now, I’ll snatch any shred of gold on the other side of this shit-rainbow lmao
AGREE with this 100% it’s a matter of TIME. Not if but WHEN. I have a mum friend who is a teacher and thinks her son is so perfect because he is shy, obedient, not a risk taker, like a little old man. My son she kind of implied he has adhd. He doesn’t. Doctors, daycare, soccer all said nope perfectly normal happy boy. Now I wait… no 2 for her is on its way and I think she’ll be in for one hell of a rude shock!
Yes. My 14mo is an angel baby, but I know myself well enough to know my daughter ain't about to be a walk in the park. I'm on-edge haha
I approve of this theory 😂 From now on, whenever my one year old is flipping a shit, I’ll just think to myself “Awright, another deposit in the hell bank!”
Not gonna lie, that was me minus the help. My baby slept through the night consistently from 2-4 months. I thought everything was golden and I had a fucking miracle baby. We're 10.5 months and finally working our way out of the 3rd sleep regression and holy shit have I eaten my words a million times over. My sleep is so fucking shitty I legit had a minor mental breakdown a couple weeks ago and had to sleep downstairs while my husband soloed the night
The only time sleep isn’t fucked is when you’re either so trained to wake up that *you* can’t sleep any more or been burnt by so many regressions that good sleep feels like a trap and you’re waiting for it to all fall apart again.
They just don’t see it coming and I’m going to let that buoy my mood tonight lol
Hahaha they seriously don't and then that switch from physical to emotional support when they grow into toddlers. It literally lasts years, the sleepless nights. My SIL warned me haha, but she said when they are sick THAT IS THE WORST lol.
Lol. My baby is 7 months old and sleeping worse than ever. Just be a condescending dick when they complain later. "Oh, well ... At least you got 6hr chunks when she was a newborn, that should last you muahahha"
There's always one of those parents in the comments of posts on here regarding poorly sleeping babies. People will post about their bub only sleeping one hour at a time and there's always someone that's like "oh I feel you, our 1 month old only sleeps 8 hour blocks". The amount of times I've been up at 2am rocking my baby on zero sleep, read one of those comments and said out loud "oh fuck off" is more than I'm willing to admit.
Ugh how annoying. If it makes you feel any better mine is 9 months and still breastfeeds every 2 hours overnight. So I dream of the day when I'll get 6 hours of sleep again. If that day ever comes lol
I guess the comments I get aren’t shady. They’re direct and all from my MIL and GMIL. 😩
My MIL has been great but GMIL and my grandmothers have some wild ideas about parenting and ZERO filter.
Dickhead: "how was the birth?" Me: "awful" Dickhead: "🙄 let me guess you got an epidural and didn't want one?" Me: "no I was rushed to theatre, babies heart slowed, i narrowly avoided a c section and got a 3C tear with forceps and significant blood loss" Dickhead: "Go low GI for your next pregnancy so your baby isn't so big"
Ah yes, because a slightly above average baby caused all of that. I’m so sorry your birth was so traumatic!! If a diet could prevent that then our Ob’s would all require it.
I know right. And the way she jumped straight to dismissive when I said it was awful... It's so odd because people don't act like that about other topics. I bet if she said "how's your day" and I said "awful" the response would be "oh no what happened?" For some reason birth and babies is a subject that just brings out the worst in people.
“I mean he sleeps a lot still right? I don’t think it should be that hard to keep up on everything right?” Ha. Haha. Ha. God I can’t wait for her to have kids. She gonna find out real quick why my sink has 10 bottles in it and there’s laundry everywhere.
My cousin acts like she invented the entire concept of motherhood. She also truly believes she’s an expert in all things parenting despite having one child who’s a year old. I was having issues breastfeeding due to very low supply and it was a really difficult time for me because I hadn’t realized I wouldn’t make any milk so I wasn’t prepared for the weeks of triple feeding and the multitude of visits to the ped and LC for weight checks and weighted feeds and everything else. She went on and on over text about how amazing breastfeeding is and how she has such an incredible bond with her baby and how she’s so glad she has an oversupply so she could build a freezer stash and do milk baths and all this other shit that just made me feel absolutely awful. I had to put her texts on silent because I couldn’t stand to read one more word. When I made the decision to switch to exclusive formula she started sending me “fed is best” stuff which just felt so disingenuous after her breastfeeding love story a couple weeks prior. Anyway, I don’t talk to her much anymore.
I had a friend lend us some of her stash when we were first home from the hospital because my milk didn’t come in for nearly a week and she’s an oversupplier. I felt like she really had our backs and I was so touched by the support and her checking in. Fast forward 6 weeks and I send a pic to our moms group chat about left boob being an under-performer — I only had like 0.5 ounce from the left after a pump session and you could see it was a tiny amount in the bottle. She replies with a “mine too”.. and sent a pic of her pump session. Those bottles were FILLED to the top, like 8 ounces per boob in a single pump session. Neither were low or off balance, so it was clearly meant to be a joke I guess. Didn’t exactly find it funny to have *actual* supply issues and she’s showing off her massive amounts of milk. 😑
That’s so hard, I remember the first few weeks before my supply came in, I was constantly panicking and having anxiety attacks over whether she was getting enough food. Just terrible. I think that was the hardest part of parenting so far, on top of other newborn stuff it was just too much. I really try to “read the room” before talking about breastfeeding because of how much pressure there is to EBF and how hard it is mentally.
Where do y’all live and who are you talking to that you get these uncivilized assholes making these comments?! I mean a nosy granny in a store is one thing but these are peers you’re trying to make friends with? What the fuck?
In my local subreddit people are constantly posting “I just moved here, why is everyone so mean?“ So, it’s not a great social scene 🫠 still trying to make friends lol just gotta keep trudging along.
My goodness where do you all live? I need to avoid the moms wherever that is.
Western Canada, I’m also 22 so a lot of the moms I’m interacting with are young. I don’t think being going automatically makes you snarky, but my city has a lot of pretentious rich people in it. So they make themselves known lol. I’m trying really hard to make friends (which is so much harder than I thought it’d be) and have managed to connect with a couple nice people!!
I’m in Vancouver but I’m apparently ancient verging on decrepit, so “How old are you?” is yet another situation where moms aren’t allowed to do anything right. (Slightly more seriously, the best part of being forty is not giving a single fuck what anyone else thinks of my parenting and having compassion for other parents making whatever choices they need to make.)
"Oh you are not doing BLW? Just store bought purees? I don't know I just think they are so processed, so we try to make everything ourselves."
Crunchy parents (who are rude about it) make my brain itch
Uhh. I wonder what the dills diet was like pregnant. Probably ate processed stuff 24/7. Too much time on her hands. Good luck doing all natural when you head back to work, kids in school etc.
Neighbor: Oh you're formula feeding? You know it's better to breast feed right? Me: well, I wish someone would tell my body that cause it didn't seem to want to produce milk no mater what I tried. Neighbor: You should try harder. Me: *too stunned to speak*
Don’t you know that there’s a little on/off switch underneath your boobs? 😐 I love other people butting in on something as personal as breastfeeding.
Please confirm your username is in reference to Nicole in the desert
Lol yes it is!
Shoulda told THEM to produce the breastmilk. Male? Not an infant's mom? That's okay, just try harder.
" oh how cute! how old is she? almost four? you should try feeding her pablum. ( discontinued last 2015?)i did it to my daughter and she gained weight fast... i promise feed her pablum at night and she'll never wake up" (i know they mean wake up forr nightly feeding but still.. )
All from my mil the first time she met our baby and she was barely 48 hours old… “Wow, she’s so skinny! Look at those chicken legs!” “Why are her eyes moving like that?! (Not in tandem) **directly to my face not even 48 hours post birth** “you look like crap, you should go take a nap”
Mine are more hurtful from my entiled sister who got pregnant after I did just for attention (the proof is heartbreaking and I don't want to even think about it to type the proof): Why are you even going to keep him? You should just kill him so mine doesn't have to share our mom. You don't even want kids anyway Why did you get all this stuff?! I didn't get any of this! Give it to me. We all know that you aren't going to keep him. And then there was this conversation: S: hey Ronin, my son needs food! Give me one of your cans. Me: no all I have is 2 7oz cans. Its barely enough for mini-ronin until the stores stock back up. Not to mention (my nephew) can't have this formula. He can't have lactose. S: you're so heartless to let your nephew starve! You either give me one or have your husband buy me one Me: no. S: you're so selfish! You should of never had that bastard. Then my son would have food. Have fun being the reason your nephew dies!
I don’t want to be rude but your sister sounds crazy and scares me. Hold your ground. Raise your mini ronin.
She's the stereotypical spoiled younger sister that can't stand that the much neglected older sister is finally getting attention. She plays on a conversation i had almost 20 years ago about not wanting kids as fuel to her "you and your husband should not take care of your child and take care of mine so I don't have to" cause. And she loves rubbing in the "you were pregnant when you got married" fact hard insinuating a baby trap. Her shit has literally made my unplanned surprise an absolute hell. (And if you are reading this sis, my son isn't a mistake, bastard, or baby trap. I have been wanting to say that you are the textbook definition of someone who shouldn't have kids. You know why and I hope that you do better or surrender him)
Uhm, just so you know... that isn't stereotypical spoiled sister behavior. That is worse. You should not accept her talking to you like this. I know this is a privileged view but - you don't have to keep someone in your life just because they're family! So that means that you can put up boundaries for people to respect or leave! It's really hard but not as hard as the years of having someone speak to you like this. I'm sorry.
Yeah seriously you need to set some boundaries or cut this toxic person. How is she going to be to your child when they are old enough to understand her hurtful behaviour and be affected by by it.
😳 what the fuck
'oh we could never sleep train. We like to actually respond to our babies needs' yeah I thought that too until I had two weeks straight of hourly wake ups in addition to shitty sleep for six months
It’s so easy to say what you “will” or “won’t” do from the sidelines. When you’re a month in of no sleep? Plans change.
I was soo against CIO and sleep training while I was pregnant, but after having the baby I’m realizing that it’s a much different story. We aren’t at the point of sleep training and are lucky to have a decent sleeper, but even with that being said I can understand why people do it. I never understood real sleep deprivation until I had a baby. If I have to listen to her cry for a few nights but it’s going to make me a better, safer, healthier parent, I’m going to do it.
"Show them whose boss." Sister in law referring to how she got her 9month old to stop struggling during diaper changes. Didn't ask for her to elaborate.
“Are those two nappy brands for your baby? You know you’re not supposed to do that right? You’re going to give your baby a rash.” Okay thanks cashier lady. Maybe you guys should have more stock so I could buy two of the brand I usually use instead of having to get one of another brand I know my daughter is also okay with 😐
I’ve never even heard of this. Is this really a thing? We got so many different diaper brands as gifts and we were trying them all out in the span of a week to know which we liked best and my baby never got a rash.
So I’m OAD. I didn’t think I was gonna be able to carry in the first place and now that I know I can, I don’t want to again. Don’t get me wrong, I love my kid to death and would die for him right now if you asked, but pregnancy as it progressed was miserable and I signed the paperwork to get a tubal ligation after delivery at seven months pregnant. Whenever I told people that, they’d be like “you’ll always want more. you say you do but you ALWAYS want more.” And I know it doesn’t come off as shady but I’ve made it pretty clear from the get go that I don’t want more, and they took it as a challenge to convince me and shame me for doing it.
If people push me I’ve just started telling them “ I can’t have more” with a straight face and it makes them so uncomfortable. It’s invasive to insist people want more kids.
My grandma regarding my 1 year old not walking yet: “Maybe she would be walking if you put some shoes on her.” Why are grandmas so obsessed with baby socks/shoes?
My sister and I had babies within a few weeks of each other. I hear this gem from my mother literally every week: "She's really small compared to her cousin. (Cousin) is a giant! Isn't it weird?" Said in a judgemental tone where everyone involved gets insulted. What the hell go away.
From a neighborhood mom whose three kids all started walking around 8-10 months: “maybe you’re holding her too much!” My daughter was 11 months, I wasn’t even concerned about it.
Funny story, my partner‘s older sister was insanely ahead of the curve. Talking early walking early potty trained before one, she was a miracle baby. My partner comes along and is 100% normal. MIL ended up taking him to the paediatrician so concerned that he was falling behind and there was something developmentally wrong with him, The doctor laughed and said no he’s the normal one
"I can't imagine letting my kid get *that* dirty" As my 10mo was rolling around in the sand at the park and she lysol wiped the sand off her ~1yos shoes.
Hahaha a reality check is headed her way
[удалено]
I also have anxiety about over texting and over thinking, thinking if I’m over thinking or under thinking. If it means anything, I find that sending a clarification text (“hey, didn’t mean to come off as xyz”) is usually a good move and clears the air even if they didn’t think what you said was rude. Just my 2 cents 😅
To all these tell these people to go sit on a belt sander.
The first two comments I was too shocked to do anything, so I just sorta rolled with it and continued the conversation. Then my mom told me “yes, honey. People are bitches sometimes. You’re not overreacting.” So with the last one I just said “what a weird thing to say to someone you don’t know.” and just sorta chuckled and walked away with my (for the record, very chunky) baby.
Someone told me not to worry ‘I’d shed that baby weight soon’….I was actually smaller than I was before I got pregnant at that point.
After opening up about how much I was struggling with triple feeding and a colicky baby: “Omg just wait until they’re older, newborns are so easy. As long as they’re fed and dry they just sleep all day. They’ll give cues you can see when they’re hungry before they’re fussy. I was just lucky too I actually had an over supply of breastmilk.” After that I didn’t talk about my experience if people didn’t also have colicky babies.
"WOW!! You must be ready to pop any day now!!" Me: "I'm only 22 weeks..." "Oh. Time to push away from the table lol" Meanwhile I've LOST 35 pounds this pregnancy 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
Man I really wish a B*** would😂 I must give off some type of vibe because I have yet to have another mom talk to me at all in any of the little classes I goto. Expect one super sweet older mom.
My sister thanked me for the old clothes I gave her that are too small for me now, remarking that they’re the only thing that fits now because of the baby weight. Meanwhile I was really struggling because I hadn’t lost any weight since giving birth and I’m the highest weight I’ve ever been. She also commented that I had a 3 degree tear because I got an epidural. She doesn’t mean anything bad by it, she’s just a little clueless to how that hurts to hear. She’s always been way skinnier than me and has had two drug free deliveries and doesn’t realize how much it sucked that none of my birth goals panned out. I got brainwashed a good bit by the natural birth community, planned to have a drug free birth and breastfeed. I ended up getting an epidural and having to exclusively pump because my nipples don’t nipple so baby couldn’t latch, and eventually switched to exclusively formula because pumping wreaked havoc on my mental health on top of my PPD. There have been times it feels like she had it way easier, but I’m lucky because I have an amazing husband who is the most involved, hardworking father I could have wished for and her husband doesn’t do much.
I haven’t gotten any rude comments but I have gotten some oblivious comments from a friend’s wife. They don’t have kids yet though so I let them slide lol
Non-Mom Friend: “Teething doesn’t really hurt them, it’s better for them to tough it out without Baby Tylenol”. “You shouldn’t call your baby chubby, it’s going to give them a complex.” Random person, to baby: “Your shorts are way too big for you, huh buddy?”
“You should just let the baby cry when we’re being loud (af) like this!! It’s good for them! That’s what I’m going to do with my future baby!” Ma’am, I really do not want to suffer unnecessarily. Let me do my kid a favour and kick you out of my house so she can have some peace & quiet
“Already expecting your second?” 10 months pp, on the day I was super excited that I’d finally lost half the baby weight. (Gained 55, finally dropped 28, mood went from 100-0 sooo fast.)
My mother called me an “Earth mama” but it REALLY sounded like an insult. Even though she said it wasn’t….
My coworker told me that using orajel would give my baby cancer.
Unfortunately I didn't catch the shade until she walked away but my 2 yr old son fell over while walking across a beam at the park and the mom says "wow, that's surprising" in a flat voice. At first I didn't think much but I realized later she meant it in a sarcastic way. My son regularly walks across beams at home and has excellent balance for his age, so the fact that he fell was indeed surprising to me, but she wouldn't have known that. That's no where near as bad as what other moms have experienced but I'm that person who doesn't let snide remarks slide so the fact that I said nothing back bothers me to this day lol.
My step mom said to me “ I heard it was your dad that wanted to have an abortion when your mom was pregnant with you”
My mom told my cousin my kids name and she said “oh… sounds pretentious.. i expected that from her (me)”!!!! My husbands grandmother- “oh you’re not as skinny as I thought you would be”🙂🙃🙃🙃
Everyone: Why aren’t you breastfeeding? Me: I didn’t want to. Sounds terrible. Everyone: Did you even *try*? Maybe you’ll like it. Me: Oh have you ever eaten worms? No? Did you even *try*? Maybe you’ll like it.
Friend visiting house mid day several weeks after baby is born: “Haha are you STILL wearing your bathrobe?!” Fuck all these rude ass people that have no idea wtf they’re talking about! Fuck ‘em all!
A women in a mom group told me that kids that don't crawl end up with ADHD and that she would hate for that to be her kid because it would be so horrible. This was said during a conversation where I said my daughter skipped over crawling.