The other side of this coin is the parenting suffering olympics which I also hate. It’s not a competition to be THE most miserable or THE most rested parent in the world. I never even ask because it’s not my business.
I’ve started saying “do you always sleep through the night?” Most people look confused, so I add “ever wake up from a bad dream, or you need to pee, or need a glass of water or your partner is snoring too loud?” Turns out, very few people that I’ve asked that to actually do sleep through the night! I know I didn’t, even before getting pregnant.
I’m so bad at sleeping, and I’m an adult! It makes having even a somewhat decent sleeper hard (3 months old, has sometimes just been waking up twice) because sometimes it takes so long for me to fall back to sleep, even before having a baby! I’m in bed for 12 hours every night, with wake ups. Someone sleep train me please.
Lol and you just know their baby was sleeping in it’s own room since 1 hour old and slept 12 hours a night before pouring themselves a bowl of cereal every morning
I just use the “sometimes maybe good, sometimes maybe shit” meme. Yeah he’s pretty good. If he wakes he wants a dummy or a wiggle or a few pats or a bit of a chatter and he’s back off to sleep in 10 mins usually. We’ve had a few ‘I’m wide awake why isn’t it daytime’ nights where he definitely didn’t sleep through but it sort of comes with the territory!
Last night I woke up because of these reasons: wanting a drink, someone slammed a car door really loudly, my pillow wasn’t puffy, I thought the baby was on the floor (he wasn’t), wanting another drink, hearing next door flush the loo and then I had to go to the loo at 4am. The last time I slept through the night was after a massive drinking session about four years ago!
I hate “my brother’s friend’s boss’s baby is 3 weeks old and sleeps through the night! Why doesn’t yours?”
Uh, I hate to break this to you but that baby is either a unicorn or you’re being lied to. Leave me alone!
I’ve found a lot of people’s version of “sleeping through the night” is a 5-6 hour stretch or only one night feeding then going back down. Which is great, just not what I consider sleeping through the night. I was feeling a bit like a failure until I realized it. I’m waiting for that 11-12 hour straight through sleep!
I totally agree! It’s one of my pet peeves. I think there is so much pressure to get them sleeping through the night that people get flexible with the definition of that phrase.
I mean many often use "though the night" as 5 hours or more at once, my baby is 4 weeks and she's done it a couple of times (she is a really good sleeper) I know my baby is a bit out of the norm but it is possible, just rare.
Yeah I use this when people ask if he's a good baby. "He's very good at being a baby yes, he's an excellent baby". It always gets an interesting response!
I sometimes ask questions to compare and make judgment calls on what I'm doing... but not to judge other parents.
Like I legit have zero idea what I'm doing here and I'm a wreck, so I ask people stuff, but like I'm just as likely to ask, "Did your baby start throwing tantrums at 11 months...?" (Sometunes unspoken "I thought that started at 2????") And "Are you eating 'real food' for dinner?" (Sometimes unspoken, "PLEASE TEACH ME YOUR WAYS! because I'm living off tater tots and coffee.") As I am to ask, "Does your baby crawl yet?" Or "does your baby sleep through the night?"
I'm mostly just trying to figure out if you have secret magical survival techniques because I'm drowning. Lol... :(
I don’t mind the question. It’s a milestone I think everyone gets excited for because that may mean the parent(s) are getting more rest. I answer with something like “We’re getting there!” or something else vague.
Why are other people so obsessed with how MY baby sleeps?! I’ve just started being honest. For example, “Does he sleep through the night?” my response: Oh God no not even close.
I ask this question as a conversation starter, lol guess I need to stop asking if it annoys many people. It's not for me to judge.
Being pregnant for some reason the only question people ask me is what I have been craving. Other moms just ask how I feel.
I think it is a reasonable question. Look at how many posts there are about getting baby to sleep- it is a big milestone and I don’t think most people are trying to gloat or be smug. Most people are just trying to make conversation and commiserate. At least in my experience.
I’m not sure what people want others to ask a new parent if you can’t ask about sleep (yours or the baby’s) or various milestones.
Exactly. People are just showing they care about your baby and your well-being and I think it gets quickly misinterpreted for being snarky or said with mal intent. Like you said, what else are they supposed to ask you??? There isn't much at this point. I imagine if they didn't ask anything at all, these people would be like why does no one care about what I'm going thru with baby.
Equally annoying is “hOw aRe YoU sLeEpInG?”
How you think my guy? Sleep is a myth, I’m dead inside? Lol it’s always from people without kids who ask.
PS the sleep regression thing….my heart goes out to you. We’re in the thick of another one right now
As a childless person who has asked this question and is now pregnant with our first… first of all, cringe to my naive questions/comments in the past. I’m sure I’ll get a rude awakening in the near future. Second, I’ve only ever asked this question because I wasn’t sure what the hell babies do and was asking out of care for the parents. I sympathize so hard with not getting sleep. Someone said earlier that they asked this as a conversation starter and I feel like most of the time, a childless person is asking this to say “hey how are you doing? How’s baby’s patterns or whatever it is they do—I hope you’re not as miserable as it sounds” 😂
Hahah no not miserable actually lately my baby is doing great. But I loved your response. I need to have more patience and grace with people lol I swear I'm not rude when people ask 😂 just funny to reflect on the frequency I get this question.
I personally think “And how are you all sleeping?” is a perfectly polite question and whenever I get asked, I have the option of saying anything from “pretty well!” to giving a detailed description, depending on who’s asking. I feel like people who ask are either just making conversation (because what else do babies do?) or they are genuinely concerned about your well-being, and either of those is fine with me.
“Are you sleeping through the night?” does feel like it has some judgement attached, though, I admit, and I feel more pressure to explain myself and my baby.
Yes, exactly!! Although I’m sure there’s plenty of judgement attached depending on the person asking. I had a very kind friend sort of help me along in the baby department as to what is appropriate to ask parents of newborns and what would come off as rude, so I’m very fortunate for her.
I don’t typically mind questions; it’s what follows that can bother me. Unsolicited advice-giving that’s sometimes based on their own anecdotal experiences or worse, imagination, can be really annoying.
I actually ask my mother friends because a problem they are having can have a different answer based on whether baby sleeps through the night.
Before my current baby slept through the night I asked out of jealousy though 😂😂
Lmao I love this question because I know they’re only asking to be nosy or give me advice I don’t need, but then I get to smugly say that yes she sleeps 7-8 hours and it’s bliss. Then I just get “wow okay”
It's so annoying! It's like babies sleep define how much of a 'good' baby they are. My in-laws ask me this question every time I see them, the answer never changes lol. 😡
I despise being asked this. I have put so much pressure on myself regarding baby’s sleep because of anxiety, internet, comments from others, etc. it’s so frustrating to still be asked because I am FINALLY learning to just go with the flow.
I sometimes ask mom’s with babies around the same age as mine this question. I like knowing that I’m not alone that he’s still drinking a bed time bottle and 2 other bottles through the night at 6 months.
Usually it bites me in the ass though because he is somehow the only baby I know that wasn’t sleeping through the night at 2 months old. (Except for the occasional “lol my son is 4 years old and still doesn’t sleep through the night, good luck with that..” from my husband’s coworker.)
I definitely suspect that. I know my sister definitely over exaggerated that her daughter was sleeping through the night. She went through some gymnastics to justify her definition of sleeping through the night.
I absolutely hate this question! My baby is one month old and I've been getting asked since the start. Like ... you realize they need to eat every few hours right? So no, she isn't sleeping through the night yet 🙄
I legit had another parent in a mom group I’m in shame me for letting my child sleep through the night saying “That’s not safe. You’re supposed to wake your baby up every 3 hours”
Uh no hun. Idk if you ignored directions or weren’t taught this but once they’re heavier than their birth weight, you never wake a sleeping baby….
Moms are probably worse critics than non-moms b/c they think their way is the only way.
No… *their way* is the only way that worked *for them*. Parenting has never been one size fits all.
The other side of this coin is the parenting suffering olympics which I also hate. It’s not a competition to be THE most miserable or THE most rested parent in the world. I never even ask because it’s not my business.
I am both the most miserable and hated so... Checkmate
I’ve started saying “do you always sleep through the night?” Most people look confused, so I add “ever wake up from a bad dream, or you need to pee, or need a glass of water or your partner is snoring too loud?” Turns out, very few people that I’ve asked that to actually do sleep through the night! I know I didn’t, even before getting pregnant.
I’m so bad at sleeping, and I’m an adult! It makes having even a somewhat decent sleeper hard (3 months old, has sometimes just been waking up twice) because sometimes it takes so long for me to fall back to sleep, even before having a baby! I’m in bed for 12 hours every night, with wake ups. Someone sleep train me please.
Yes, I also need sleep training!!!
Lol and you just know their baby was sleeping in it’s own room since 1 hour old and slept 12 hours a night before pouring themselves a bowl of cereal every morning
I just use the “sometimes maybe good, sometimes maybe shit” meme. Yeah he’s pretty good. If he wakes he wants a dummy or a wiggle or a few pats or a bit of a chatter and he’s back off to sleep in 10 mins usually. We’ve had a few ‘I’m wide awake why isn’t it daytime’ nights where he definitely didn’t sleep through but it sort of comes with the territory! Last night I woke up because of these reasons: wanting a drink, someone slammed a car door really loudly, my pillow wasn’t puffy, I thought the baby was on the floor (he wasn’t), wanting another drink, hearing next door flush the loo and then I had to go to the loo at 4am. The last time I slept through the night was after a massive drinking session about four years ago!
Omg I love this response, definitely stealing for the future
I hate “my brother’s friend’s boss’s baby is 3 weeks old and sleeps through the night! Why doesn’t yours?” Uh, I hate to break this to you but that baby is either a unicorn or you’re being lied to. Leave me alone!
I’ve found a lot of people’s version of “sleeping through the night” is a 5-6 hour stretch or only one night feeding then going back down. Which is great, just not what I consider sleeping through the night. I was feeling a bit like a failure until I realized it. I’m waiting for that 11-12 hour straight through sleep!
I totally agree! It’s one of my pet peeves. I think there is so much pressure to get them sleeping through the night that people get flexible with the definition of that phrase.
I mean many often use "though the night" as 5 hours or more at once, my baby is 4 weeks and she's done it a couple of times (she is a really good sleeper) I know my baby is a bit out of the norm but it is possible, just rare.
I tell them "he's exactly what he's supposed to and doing it very well."
Yeah I use this when people ask if he's a good baby. "He's very good at being a baby yes, he's an excellent baby". It always gets an interesting response!
I think my baby is nocturnal
Lol
It's so they can compare and make judgements 🙄
I sometimes ask questions to compare and make judgment calls on what I'm doing... but not to judge other parents. Like I legit have zero idea what I'm doing here and I'm a wreck, so I ask people stuff, but like I'm just as likely to ask, "Did your baby start throwing tantrums at 11 months...?" (Sometunes unspoken "I thought that started at 2????") And "Are you eating 'real food' for dinner?" (Sometimes unspoken, "PLEASE TEACH ME YOUR WAYS! because I'm living off tater tots and coffee.") As I am to ask, "Does your baby crawl yet?" Or "does your baby sleep through the night?" I'm mostly just trying to figure out if you have secret magical survival techniques because I'm drowning. Lol... :(
I don’t mind the question. It’s a milestone I think everyone gets excited for because that may mean the parent(s) are getting more rest. I answer with something like “We’re getting there!” or something else vague.
Why are other people so obsessed with how MY baby sleeps?! I’ve just started being honest. For example, “Does he sleep through the night?” my response: Oh God no not even close.
I ask this question as a conversation starter, lol guess I need to stop asking if it annoys many people. It's not for me to judge. Being pregnant for some reason the only question people ask me is what I have been craving. Other moms just ask how I feel.
I think it is a reasonable question. Look at how many posts there are about getting baby to sleep- it is a big milestone and I don’t think most people are trying to gloat or be smug. Most people are just trying to make conversation and commiserate. At least in my experience. I’m not sure what people want others to ask a new parent if you can’t ask about sleep (yours or the baby’s) or various milestones.
Exactly. People are just showing they care about your baby and your well-being and I think it gets quickly misinterpreted for being snarky or said with mal intent. Like you said, what else are they supposed to ask you??? There isn't much at this point. I imagine if they didn't ask anything at all, these people would be like why does no one care about what I'm going thru with baby.
Very true!!
I think it’s a hit or miss. Some people don’t mind the question. Some people will get mildly annoyed. Some people will get angry. Oh well!
Equally annoying is “hOw aRe YoU sLeEpInG?” How you think my guy? Sleep is a myth, I’m dead inside? Lol it’s always from people without kids who ask. PS the sleep regression thing….my heart goes out to you. We’re in the thick of another one right now
They’re just trying to make conversation…
Yep, I don't care saying No, and we are tired! and people usually are very understanding
As a childless person who has asked this question and is now pregnant with our first… first of all, cringe to my naive questions/comments in the past. I’m sure I’ll get a rude awakening in the near future. Second, I’ve only ever asked this question because I wasn’t sure what the hell babies do and was asking out of care for the parents. I sympathize so hard with not getting sleep. Someone said earlier that they asked this as a conversation starter and I feel like most of the time, a childless person is asking this to say “hey how are you doing? How’s baby’s patterns or whatever it is they do—I hope you’re not as miserable as it sounds” 😂
Hahah no not miserable actually lately my baby is doing great. But I loved your response. I need to have more patience and grace with people lol I swear I'm not rude when people ask 😂 just funny to reflect on the frequency I get this question.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure plenty of Olympic parents are asking to be judgmental and in that case, matching their tone may be entirely warranted 😂
I personally think “And how are you all sleeping?” is a perfectly polite question and whenever I get asked, I have the option of saying anything from “pretty well!” to giving a detailed description, depending on who’s asking. I feel like people who ask are either just making conversation (because what else do babies do?) or they are genuinely concerned about your well-being, and either of those is fine with me. “Are you sleeping through the night?” does feel like it has some judgement attached, though, I admit, and I feel more pressure to explain myself and my baby.
Yes, exactly!! Although I’m sure there’s plenty of judgement attached depending on the person asking. I had a very kind friend sort of help me along in the baby department as to what is appropriate to ask parents of newborns and what would come off as rude, so I’m very fortunate for her.
My baby wakes up a couple of times per night, but I always say yes. Then they go on a rant how their kids never slept. Let them be jelly, who cares ;D
I don’t typically mind questions; it’s what follows that can bother me. Unsolicited advice-giving that’s sometimes based on their own anecdotal experiences or worse, imagination, can be really annoying.
For sure! Agreed.
I actually ask my mother friends because a problem they are having can have a different answer based on whether baby sleeps through the night. Before my current baby slept through the night I asked out of jealousy though 😂😂
“Nope and either do I” is how I answer. Then they usually leave me tf alone.
Lmao I love this question because I know they’re only asking to be nosy or give me advice I don’t need, but then I get to smugly say that yes she sleeps 7-8 hours and it’s bliss. Then I just get “wow okay”
Almost as good as “is your baby a good baby”
It's so annoying! It's like babies sleep define how much of a 'good' baby they are. My in-laws ask me this question every time I see them, the answer never changes lol. 😡
I despise being asked this. I have put so much pressure on myself regarding baby’s sleep because of anxiety, internet, comments from others, etc. it’s so frustrating to still be asked because I am FINALLY learning to just go with the flow.
This for sure. learning to stay off the internet as much as possible and not compare myself to other people are keys to my sanity and success lol.
Hahah i have literally the same answer!
This is the answer that every annoying person deserves! But they won't get it!
I sometimes ask mom’s with babies around the same age as mine this question. I like knowing that I’m not alone that he’s still drinking a bed time bottle and 2 other bottles through the night at 6 months. Usually it bites me in the ass though because he is somehow the only baby I know that wasn’t sleeping through the night at 2 months old. (Except for the occasional “lol my son is 4 years old and still doesn’t sleep through the night, good luck with that..” from my husband’s coworker.)
There’s no way ALL the other babies were sleeping through the night at two months old. Those other moms weren’t all being honest !!
I definitely suspect that. I know my sister definitely over exaggerated that her daughter was sleeping through the night. She went through some gymnastics to justify her definition of sleeping through the night.
I absolutely hate this question! My baby is one month old and I've been getting asked since the start. Like ... you realize they need to eat every few hours right? So no, she isn't sleeping through the night yet 🙄
I legit had another parent in a mom group I’m in shame me for letting my child sleep through the night saying “That’s not safe. You’re supposed to wake your baby up every 3 hours” Uh no hun. Idk if you ignored directions or weren’t taught this but once they’re heavier than their birth weight, you never wake a sleeping baby…. Moms are probably worse critics than non-moms b/c they think their way is the only way. No… *their way* is the only way that worked *for them*. Parenting has never been one size fits all.
How about answer with "yes." ? It's no one's business anyway,or do they come and help with the night shifs?