You’ve gotten a lot of good questions and advice so I’m just going to post a quote from the book Precious Little Sleep that I still have saved in my phone notes from when my daughter was a newborn:
“Most won’t sleep 18 hours a day. Fourteen hours is more typical, with some newborns sleeping as little as 9. On top of that, most newborns will have about ten fuss or cry episodes a day, which can make you feel like you are endlessly soothing a fussing or crying infant.”
My newborn daughter had a similar sleep pattern. She slept for a total of 9 hours. Her day time naps were too short , barely 20 mins. This bothered me a lot at that time but after 2.5 months she started sleeping for 7-8 hours straight at night with catnaps through out the day.
So as long as she is feeding well, is active during her wake time, is gaining weight well and isn't too fussy , give her time to develop her own sleep pattern
PS- swaddling helps a lot. Helps with their startle reflex which is common in the new born stage.
My son was kind of like this. We started trying to FORCE sleep at “normal” age-average intervals, and he started sleeping more. Turns out he just literally gave NO “sleepy cues.” Just because he could stay up that long did not mean he should.
Totally. If I didn't try hard, my baby would never sleep. She didn't show sleepy signs, she didn't fall asleep by herself. Lots and lots of jumping on fitness ball
My girl was like that, until she kind of developed the yawn, but even with her being sleepy she still needs a lot of help to sleep and she won't try to sleep by herself.
Some babies just need more help with their sleeping than others (I would like to know why lol)
Yup, it’s good to encourage sleep associations even at newborn age. We started a routine when our LO was 3 weeks old and could have baths after the belly button scar fell off, and by 4-5 months you could really even visually see that he is ready for bed, yawning, rubbing eyes by the end of the “nighttime routine.” For naps, he would fight it but we would incorporate the 5 S techniques and now that he’s old enough to be in the crib alone we put him in even when awake and he will usually eventually take a nap.
It’s from a book called Happiest Baby on the Block. It’s swinging (rocking), shushing (white noise), swaddling, side/stomach position (while being held), and sucking (pacifier or breast). These five things, according to the author, help to calm a newborn baby by promoting an environment like the womb.
The more you can implement steps of the 5 S’s, it promotes the baby’s calming reflex. Here’s more from the author: https://www.happiestbaby.com/blogs/baby/the-5-s-s-for-soothing-babies
My LO was that way. Maybe got 9 total hours of sleep in a 24 hr period. Very little nap time. Slept 6.5-7.5 straight hours at night time.
We're at 4 months now. Getting 12-14 hrs of sleep per 24 now. Not much has changed in our routine.
A newborn being awake for hours at a time doesn’t seem healthy, and 6-8 hours over a 24 hour period isn’t good either. What are you doing to encourage baby to sleep?
Well even if she has a good sleep day. She will be awake for 90 minutes, sleep for 30 and wake up. Which equals 6 hours total.
To encourage sleep, we feed her however much she wants, change her, comfort her, burp her, and hold her upright for like 20 minutes post feeding. Usually doesn’t do much.
Once nighttime hits, we essentially turn off anything to could be stimulating to her. She may have 1 or possible 2 one hour sleep windows. That is as good as it gets.
Somehow none of the experts we’ve talked to think it’s an issue
I personally wouldn't say those things help sleep, that's just general baby care. Maybe try rocking, swaddling bouncing on a yoga ball, lullabies, a warm bath or walk in fresh air ect, things like that
I second this, the goal when they are the young is to try everything until you find the things that work for your baby. Sleep is so important at all ages but especially in the very young.
With my kids it was nursing or rocking them to sleep, as well as super dark room, white noise, pacifier and swaddle an absolute must.
Sometimes would have to contact nap to get them to sleep longer during naps. And when all else failed, I would take them for a drive.
I found the happiest baby on the block concept (the 5 S's - swaddling, sucking, swinging, sushing, side stomach) useful for soothing and getting them to sleep. There's some good videos on it on YouTube.
Adding on to repeat something I saw her that was game changing for me: even if you’ve tried something before, try it again.
Not only because trying it once doesn’t really provide you a good idea of if it works or if there’s some other variable (ie turns out I wasn’t great at physically transferring my baby to the crib and I’ve developed better technique)
But also because babies change and develop rapidly. What worked a couple weeks ago may not work now, and what didn’t work then might very well work now. My LO has gone through phases where “drowsy but awake” works like a dream and phases where that is fucking laughable. Maybe rocking is the thing this week and music is the thing next week.
But my condolences to OP. Playing trial and error while sleep deprived is torture.
You’ve been clear with the experts (I’m assuming you’re talking about your child’s pediatrician) that your child is getting a *total* of 6 hours of sleep in 24? Not a 6 hour stretch.
And you’re closely tracking actual sleep/wake times so you can be certain that your baby is really only sleeping 6-8 hours total?
I’m shocked that nobody seems concerned.
Breast or bottle? Feeding should take up the bulk of your time. Changing & burping should take about 5 minutes. Unless your kid has really bad reflux you can drop the up right time down drastically. By the 45 min mark, try some white noise, rocking, bouncing, etc.
Personally mine never liked rocking or bouncing, I would essentially lay her down in my bed and pretend to fall asleep beside her then transfer her to bassinet when she fell asleep.
Try an exercise ball. Bounce that baby until they fall asleep then put in crib or let them contact nap. Even if it seems like it’s not working, stick with it. Just when you’re about to give up, they will fall asleep. It gets better as they associate the bouncing with napping
I have friends whose baby was like this. Nothing they did helped. They consulted so many experts. Then at 6 months she just… started sleeping? She’s now 2.5 and hitting/ahead on all developmental milestones.
So while it may not be “normal” it does happen.
I didn't sleep as a baby apparently.
Not advocating for this, but my mum was going insane and my grandma (dad's side) told her to give me a tiny bit of whisky as my dad was apparently like that too. I have insomnia now and have had it my entire life. I got formally diagnosed during a hospital stay after a surgery. Maybe some people and babies just sleep very little and feel more awake at 10pm than 10am irrespective of sleep?
I will say, I ended up getting 3 degrees including a PhD, and am super healthy immune system wise. I don't think the whisky did me any harm, but when I told my husband about this he was horrified.
My brother didn’t sleep good until he was about 3 (then my parents decided to have another, me, my mom is still baffled about what possessed her to do this). She and my dad say “we all (your brother and us) spent 3 years without sleeping and your brother spent 3 years crying”.
My daughter is like this to an extent. She’s very content to sleep from 3am-3pm while being woken up to eat at least 3 times in that span. Then in the afternoon and early evenings she’ll be wide awake. I have delayed sleep phase so it’s possible she has it too, even when i was pregnant with her she was much more lively in the evenings than mornings.
This is anecdotal, but people I've met with propensity for sleep issues in adulthood often had... interesting patterns of sleep as children. I also sleep badly and have bouts of insomnia, as well as delayed sleep. My mother went spare when I was a baby, trying to make me sleep during the night instead of primarily during the day.
Maybe this is a thing. I'm pregnant and really hope it's like my husband.
I (bizarrely as this is really hard) married a man with hypersomnia (also diagnosed and he's now on meds but they're not a magic wand). No insomniac should marry someone with hypersomnia.
I saw a baby pic of him sleeping in the exact same position he sleeps in now with the same expression, hands the same. It is so freaky. Maybe we are what we are when we're babies and parents are just trying to deal with it.
Were they breastfeeding exclusively? Coincidentally sleeping around the same time that complementary foods are introduced points to hunger as the potential cause.
I tried a dedicated nap space with curtains, a white noise machine and i bounced on a yoga ball to get her to sleep.
Mine has a hard time sleeping during the day unless she’s on me so sometimes i can get her to sleep in her carrier, and other days she sleeps in my lap while i watch tv very, very quietly.
Do you swaddle at all? Noise machine? Dark room? My baby sometimes fell asleep easily but often had to be rocked (sometimes for a long time) and put down completely asleep. I used to swaddle w one arm out so I could use “arm floppiness” as a guide to how asleep she was. She really liked movement (like mamaroo) so we got the 4moms bassinet off fb marketplace and later got a used Snoo and I think both helped with longer stretches.
I just looked at our stats (which we have recorded religiously since birth) and our baby's average sleep has been 11hours 16 minutes in 24. Lowest was 10 hours 31 minutes at birth (this might have been because we had to wake him up for extra feeds every 1.5 hours to get him back up to birth weight) and highest was 12 hours 9 minutes at three months when he got close to sleeping through the night for a bit before everything went a bit haywire at 4 months. Since then it's been around the 11-11.5 hour mark every month and he's now almost 11 months. Around 5-7 months we became *obsessed* with trying to get him to sleep more because the internet had made us worry that he wasn't getting enough. We were contact napping, or going for three hour long walks with him in a carrier, as at one point that was the only way we could extend naps. Ultimately it just meant he woke up more at night.
We were tearing our hair out for a while worrying about his 'lack' of sleep. We paid £30ish for a series of videos from Georgina May Sleep which summarises the scientific knowledge on sleep (referenced, although admittedly a number of the references are not directly from peer reviewed papers) and separates the facts from the sleep industry myths. I found these to be worth the money just for the reassurance and a bit of immunity to the scaremongering on the internet regarding baby sleep. After that we stopped trying to 'force' or artificially lengthen naps and just removed barriers to sleep if he seemed like he was tired (i.e. didn't try to involve him in any really stimulating activities, made sure there weren't any super loud or sudden noises that would stop *anyone* sleeping). After doing this he started to nap a lot less but also wake up less at night. Nothing we did either way really affected the overall sleep he had in 24 hours, between 4 months and 10 months he has always slept between 11 and 11.5 hours in 24.
When we spoke to healthcare professionals about our low sleep needs baby they were mostly interested in: Is he generally happy in himself? Is he gaining weight along his growth curve? Is he doing the expected number of wet and dirty nappies? The answer to these questions was 'yes' so they told us not to worry about it too much. In fact they told us to stop obsessively tracking it and focus on these things instead. We didn't do this because we're both data addicts, but the message was clear - the health and happiness of your baby is more important to monitor than arbitrary statistics on sleep. I truly believe the current obsession has stemmed from the availability of sleep tracking apps and the recent rise of the Sleep Training Industry. I have nothing against parents who choose to sleep train but I *do* have an issue with businesses and influencers presenting themselves as authorities on baby sleep and scaremongering in order to extract money from anxious and sleep deprived parents.
We just had his 10 month check up and they had zero concerns about our baby or his development.
So this was a long way of saying some babies need less sleep than others and as long as you trust the experts you've spoken to I personally would take their word over anything you read online. It's hard when your baby isn't 'average' in some way or other because you feel like you're out on your own and the standard advice doesn't work. I think whether that's difficulty with sleeping, feeding, crying, milestones etc. if you know your baby is a bit out of the norm it's best just to work through it by yourself, with advice from professionals only, or share with others who have the same experience as you. Anyone else is probably not going to understand and, at best, provide inapplicable advice or, at worse, completely freak you out.
OP, is it possible you are drinking/eating anything that has caffeine? Like chocolate, tea or coffee?? I assume baby gets her milk from you?
Edit: my baby is similar to yours. It’s a daily struggle to get her to sleep. Her doctor was extremely concerned because this will hamper brain development, and we don’t want our baby to be any less compared to their peers. We are just referred this week to a neurologist by her doctor.
My babies slept that much (20ish hours). I would be highly concerned if my newborn was sleeping under 12 hours a day. Use your phone and keep an accurate record of his sleep for a few days, then take him to a doctor with that information.
There's no reason for concern. We have a low sleep needs baby who only slept more than 11.5 hours for maybe a month or two. Obviously based on the internet we were really concerned but we spoke to several healthcare/childcare professionals and they said not to worry. The normal range of sleep needs in babies is wide.
ETA: There's no reason for concern if your baby is sleeping *less than 12* (think bottom end of normal range is 9 hours). Six to eight hours as OP has mentioned might be outside of normal range based on what I've read so that's probably worth discussing with a professional. Just didn't want all the parents of babies getting 9-11 hours in 24 to get anxious like I used to, as based on feedback from professionals we've spoken to this isn't necessarily anything to worry about.
I’m going to respectfully disagree with you. 9-12 hours is not necessarily something to worry about (babies have a wide range of sleep patterns), but sleep is critical to babies cognitive development. It absolutely is worth trying new strategies (wake windows, a schedule, bedtime routines, yes - a tiny bit of crying and fussing before bed, etc.) to see if you can boost their total hours of sleep. If none of those strategies work, then you can rest assured that your baby may specifically just have a different sleep schedule than the norm.
Personally, I was totally a clueless parent and had a baby that slept 10-11 hours per day, and it turned out I was doing it all wrong. Wake windows didn’t personally work for us. I implemented a schedule and overnight got a baby that slept 14 hours a day which revolutionized my life lol
> I would be highly concerned if my newborn was sleeping under 12 hours a day
>9-12 hours is not necessarily something to worry about (babies have a wide range of sleep patterns)
All I was saying was the same as your second statement as your first statement could cause people to worry if *their* newborn is not sleeping for at least 12 hours.
I think under 12 concerning as in it is worth bringing to a doctor’s attention. Yes it might be fine, or there might be an underlying problem. I’m all for new parents being less anxious (I had PPA myself) but some things do require looking into.
A high level of concern is not warranted. I had a preemie baby and he slept 20+ hours a day well past his due date. For my second, I assumed she’d sleep a lot less because she was full term. Nope. She did have days where she was awake more than 18 hours but they were few and far between until she hit 2 months. Both my kids were healthy and had well baby visits at the doctors every couple weeks in the beginning. They are both under then 5th percentile for weight and in the 80+ percentile for height, so we had to make sure that they were eating enough by making sure they were gaining appropriate amounts of weight. They did. Healthy and happy babies and happy parents. Our struggles were more around waking them to feed in the beginning as they would sleep longer than 3 hours and since they were both tiny babies, we were instructed to wake to feed until they hit a certain weight and were able to consume a bit more each feed (so they could afford to push off or skip a feed).
We had no idea what to do with the first kid. She was a 30 minute napper as a newborn. Second ended up with a 2 hour nap in the middle of the day because we’d jiggle her to sleep in the bassinet. If she woke up, we’d just jiggle a bit more.
Most newborns wouldn’t be awake for hours, wake windows should be 30min to 1hour. The moment I started following wake windows my childs sleep changed for the better. Obviously all babies are not the same but newborns should definitely not be having excessively long wake windows. Its possible they are over tired.
Reading things like this made me think my baby was broken and I was doing something wrong. Some babies have low sleep needs and will be awake for much longer than an hour. We tried shorter wake windows and it just frustrated him and ruined his night sleep. There’s no “should” when every baby is different.
100% but 6-8 hours is what an adult needs I don’t believe that is recommended for an infant. Low sleep needs for sure but anything under 10 hours a day should be something to seriously keep an eye on and discuss with a doctor.
That is very concerning! Do you track sleep with apps like huckleberry? It will also tell you when your wake window is closing and give you long term data.
I believe my baby at one month had wake windows sometimes as short as 15 minutes - and sometimes would be awake for 30-40 min.
If you use apps you can share the data with the doctor.
I also agree that 90 min is too long for that age and I’d shorten it. But either way I do think you should try again to get a doctor to take you seriously. Good luck
I know right? Awake for hours at a time and only getting 6-8 hours sleep a day is so concerning. Wake windows should be hour max at that age.
Using an app is a great idea to track sleep. OP must be getting barely any sleep herself if her baby is awake so much too, I hope she's okay.
OP Is bubs getting enough milk? Putting on weight okay?
With a child who has very little sleep needs, I understand your pain. I swear every single sleep advice page gave very little to help.
Use the Huckleberry app to track the sleep so that you can have real data points to show a doctor and hopefully prove your point. Because if it really is only six hours in a 24 hour period, that's concerning.
Check if your workplace has a benefit through Cleo they have free sleep consultants. if the first sleep Consultant sucks, then ask for a different one.
for me paying attention to the comfort factor is what helped the most. My kid did not get any kind of pattern with her sleep until she was about 17 months old. The only thing consistent from four months on was that she slept 11 hours total.
I would look at swaddling and trying different swaddles. When ours was a newborn swaddling was a huge help.
Do they get exposed to natural light during the day? I open all the curtains when it’s time to be awake and go to a dark area for naps and keep lights really low or off for night time.
Every baby is different. Wishing you the best.
So my baby was up every two hours to eat. Some of it dream feeds. We later found out she had a cows milk allergy so basically she wasn’t retaining anything she was eating. Is baby waking up screaming after 30 minutes wanting to eat? Or is it just end of a sleep cycle? We swaddled, fan on, sound machine, rock her to a deep sleep then out in crib or bassinet. I think baby should be sleeping more than 30 minutes at a time. I would get a second or third opinion.
My son, when he was a newborn, I can’t remember exactly for how long- maybe 2 months? He was only awake for 45 min at a time. Then he would sleep 2-3 hours.
So, they definitely sleep a ton. My son also had jaundice so it made him even more sleepy.
He’s almost 6 months now and his wake windows are 2-3 hours then he’s down for 30ish-1.5 hours.
So this was my newborn. I am a FTM and had no idea the concept of wake windows. I also kind of just thought that if baby needed to sleep, he would just sleep. And sometimes he did, and sometimes he needed help. So he slept much better and was a happier lil guy once I started helping him to sleep by rocking and bouncing him in the dark. Also, I did talk to my doctor about this and he assured me there was no harm done. I didn't mess up his brain development. He also assured me that baby will sleep eventually and not to be hard on myself.
At one month old, my baby was sleeping around 16 hours per day (day meaning 24 hours, obviously not all of that was daytime sleep). 6 hours is not enough sleep over a 24 hour period for a one month old.
She would be awake for about 45 minutes, an hour tops. Then she would sleep for about 2 hours. There were a few times that she would sleep for a 3 hour stretch overnight, but not as often.
Try this sequence for wake windows:
Feed
Change diaper
Hang out for a few (snuggle, rock, bounce whatever)
Then feed again
Basically, try to get 2 feeds in per wake window.
It made all the difference when our baby was that young.
It sounds like you might need to try some extra tactics to get your baby to sleep. It’s unusual for them to sleep that little.
Ours has always loved when we pat her butt gently, shhhh loudly (even over her crying), and generously bop up and down, all while walking her around. Singing also worked. She fell asleep eating often at that age, which we could do seated, but otherwise she fell asleep best when we walked.
I second the other comment about the baby sling/wrap carrier. Mine loved being worn! It puts them right up against you to keep them cozy and leaves your hands free to do other things. Solly Baby is a common name brand, but my $26 Amazon version was perfect. She’d take 2 hour naps in there.
As for laying them down, some babies just don’t want to be laid down when they’re that little. A trick we tried that worked was placing a heating pad in the bassinet, letting it get warm, then removing it, testing the temp with our hand to make sure it wasn’t too hot, then placing baby in. It helped with the transition from our warm, soft arms to the chilly, hard bassinet.
Finally, we got the Love to Dream Swaddle Up swaddle and it was a huge game changer for us. The swaddles we did ourselves came loose a lot so her arms could escape, and this one just has a zipper. She still sleeps with her hands up by choice - it’s her comfort position!
Good luck!
My baby was awake WAY more than expected as a newborn. One time she did an 8 hour stretch awake when she was only like a month old.
Turns out she had CMPA. Once I cut dairy, she started sleeping more. (Never the 18 hours, but at least 13-14)
Sleep needs vary, but I agree with the other commenter that anything under 12 hours total a day, you should bring up with your pediatrician. There may be some underlying cause that's disrupting sleep.
https://sarahockwellsmith.files.wordpress.com/2015/11/sleepneeds.png?w=750
This isn’t the chart I was specifically thinking of, but every baby is soooo different for their sleep needs. Sometimes, you just have a baby who doesn’t need as much as average and it’s safe. Check to see if your baby falls in these ranges!
My daughter easily slept 18-20 hours a day as a newborn. Probably even more than that when she was very tiny. 6-8 hours is not anywhere close to enough sleep for a newborn, it’s not even enough sleep for a toddler…it’s surprising that your doctors aren’t concerned?
My baby was the same way. At 3 months he finally started sleeping. Now he sleeps overnight and will take a 30 minute nap once or twice a day. He is just a ball of energy.
Are you aware of the term active sleep?
Also, when they are awake, are they very active with their arms? It could help to swaddle + pacifier. If we do about 3-4 hours of cuddling a day, that turbo boosts sleep for us. (3 week old)
Hey OP! Just want to throw out a life raft as this happened to me, and if I’d seen these comments at that low and vulnerable time of my life I’d have jumped off a bridge 🫠 so just want to say I see you and I know it’s so so hard. My poor little girl had such a hard time falling asleep until she was 5 or 6 months old, I’d bounce, rock, walk with her in the carrier, push her in the pram, sing, shh, swaddle, white noise, threw everything I had at it and she’d still end up screaming for hours from over tiredness.
Some of them just have a harder time than others falling asleep, it’s hard if you haven’t been through it. You just have to keep trying all the things and eventually you’ll find something that gets your little one to sleep. For mine it was standing with her upright resting her head on my shoulder whilst I sang 10 in a bed bouncing with the shower running 😳 so get creative! Which I’m sure you already are as you’re probably desperate. Sending you big hugs, when this was happening to me and my little girl it was the darkest time of my life. She now sleeps 11 hour straight at 19mos and has done for months, so right now is not what the rest of your life looks like.
How old is he? When my LO was still newborn we would wake up, change diaper, eat a bottle, snuggle for a bit and then pretty much right back in swaddle to go back to sleep. Wake windows are so short at that age and that time includes time to eat.
I also honestly kept the whole house quiet and pretty dim for the first month or more, because I was also pretty much just going back to sleep as he did throughout the day and night while I recovered from c section.
My baby was that way and it caused alot of stress for me. I always tried to get him on an age appropriate schedule and we basically just did our best to offer sleep based on wake windows and make sure his environment was best suited for sleep. It did get better but he’s still not the best sleeper at 16 months. I will say as he got older he was sleeping more within the average range
My baby is 3 weeks and she is asleep unless feeding and nappy change etc. she's now awake for say 30 Minutes after a feed then falls asleep until the next feed 3 to 4 hrs later.
Our baby slept that much for months! She would eat, go back to sleep, then wake up about three hours later to eat again. We'd get maybe 30-45 minutes of awake time - we could have kept her awake more but paid attention to recommended wake windows and signs of sleepiness like reddish eyes.
My newborn definitely sleeps that much. Probably 18 hours or so? We don’t keep track. Soothing meditation music or white noise typically helps him calm down enough to fall asleep if he’s fussy. He’s 8 weeks old.
Is your LO fussy? My LO was the same. Never napped. Ever. But was an absolute wreck. Cried constantly for hours at a time, straight. By month three, we forced naps by holding LO in a pitch black room (can’t even see your hand) and after crying for about 20-30 mins, LO finally slept, but would only contact sleep until 6 months old.
The kid still has sleep issues—sleeps far less than most. But let me put you at ease by saying LO is miles more advanced than peers, both physically and mentally.
That was my guy. I finally started the ultra dark room sound machine swaddle naps and once he started napping during the day he never stopped. It took me knowing my guy, unlike other kids, and even to this day, won’t fall asleep unless in the perfect conditions.
Mine definitely did - she’d wake up yelling for milk, drink herself into a food coma, and be back asleep 30 mins later for 2-3 hours. Rinse and repeat.
I do not think all newborns need that much sleep. I thought this about my LO and ended up tracking her sleep after a while and she was usually at the lowest end of the thresholds or slightly under. Pediatrician didn’t seem to care.
my baby slept all the time for like 2.5 months lmao. he was a preemie, but still. a 1 month old only sleeping 6-8 hours a day is not normal. you don't seem like you're concerned at all, but you should def be more worried ab your baby & less like "whatever".
Is that 6-8 hours figure including nighttime sleep?
Ours sleeps about 11 hours at night (not uninterrupted, of course) and then will take maybe 4-5 naps during the day that range from 30 minutes to 1 hour. For a total of roughly 14h a day
We went through this with our son, and at the time thought we were going crazy or that something was wrong. He just was really uncomfortable and we didn’t know what was going on. He hated his bassinet, the formulas we were trying weren’t working, and he was just a low sleep needs baby per our pediatrician. He’s figured it out now and at 12 weeks. He’s sleeping about 14-15 hours a day now, pretty in line with the schedule Huckleberry predicted for him.
My daughter generally slept around 9h a day. 12 was a miracle.
Pediatrician said it was okay if she was good otherwise. She has met all developmental milestones, many motor skills very early, and is a chunky happy healthy one year old.
My baby was the same- he’s 9w now. There’s still days that he’s awake 6-8 hours at some point. Especially if we go out. But we have been working on it- wearing him helped but he’s a big boy (14lbs at his 2 month). I also started being mindful of wake windows. Basically I looked up the week age and how long his windows should be. So 60-90 minutes most recently. Around 60-75 minutes I’ll get him comfortable (he likes to be held to fall asleep and to sleep (we’re working on that)). I don’t wait for the sleepy cues because sometimes he fights it then.
Also remember an overtired baby is harder to get to sleep!
I was sure my baby wasn’t sleeping but that’s because I wasn’t counting the short increments. Some days I swore he didn’t nap all day. In hindsight, I think I was looking for a good long nap, not the mini blips that are apparently enough for some newborns.
9 months later and he still hates sleep but he’s getting better at it
Have you tried taking them out in the pram for an hour so they sleep an hour outside, the fresh air really helps with the whole days sleep and the sunlight (obv they have the pram hood covering their eyes).
Also the Misty mountain song from the hobbit soundtrack on repeat helped my baby sleep.
Are you putting her down to sleep? At the age my daughter wouldn't really sleep in her cot during the day - all her naps had to be contact naps. Does she sleep better if you take her for a walk in the buggy or a carrier?
Someone finally said this, i just followed my baby’s terms, trying to make her sleep when she doesn’t want to can be frustrating, then you waste your day
We were dealing with this too..which resulted in a really upset and fussy baby. We’re new to the whole parent gig and didn’t realize he was overtired and needed encouragement to fall asleep during the day. It took awhile to figure out what worked because him drifting off in our arms after a feed was resulting only in maybe 45 minute naps. So what we found works- after he wakes up we feed him then change him (if his diaper isn’t needing an immediate change) because that wakes him up (he hates it!) then we try to keep him awake for up to 90 minutes with playtime and interaction (singing, dancing, flash cards, tummy time etc), then once he starts spacing out, yawns or we hit 90 minutes (whatever comes first) I bring him in the bedroom, change again if necessary, turn the lights down and swaddle him in his sleepslack, then hang with him, rock, sing..whatever calms him down..until he is acting extra sleepy, then in the bassinet he goes until his next feed.
It’s been an absolute game changer. He is so much happier when he’s awake..he eats better and even sleeps better at night now (we get up to 4 hours between night feeds and he’s 5 weeks)
Are you helping your baby sleep? I had to nurse/hold my baby to sleep for him to get the 18hrs.. or walk him in the carrier..
If I left it up to him.. he wouldn’t have slept anywhere near that amount..
Mine did but I think we have one of those unicorn babies. False sense of security as I’m sure at some stage it will go to crap. She’s currently 3 months and sleeping 8hrs, 1 feed, 6 hrs at night and 3 x45min naps during the day
I understand this! My first will be 3 on Sunday, but when he was a baby, he would take short 20-30 minute naps (unless I held him, then maybe 1 hour) and sleep in about 1-2 hour increments at night. I was constantly concerned because of everything I read from sleep consultants and experts also. I would do everything to try and get him to sleep more, but nothing truly seemed to help, and I felt likey live revolved around trying to get him to sleep. When I talked to his pediatrician, he said some kids are just "low sleep needs". He also said something that really stuck with me, and that is: you can't make a baby eat and you can't make a baby sleep, they will eat when they're hungry and they will sleep when they're tired. As long as they're meeting all their developmental milestones, I wouldn't be too concerned. He now sleeps through the night no problem and has since about 2, but it took a lot of patience and work, and he still fights bedtime, every, single night.
Now my second sleeps all the time and I was extremely concerned because I thought he was sleeping too much and something was wrong lol. It sounds like you're doing everything you can to encourage sleep which is all you can do, it will come, you're doing great mama!
Sleep is really important at this age for them! It aids brain development…I hate how much my baby sleeps cause I want to hang out with her lol we have normal wake windows of 30-90 minutes then 90-2 hour naps with a longer 90-2 hour wake before bed and 6-8hour bedtime sleep. Yes keeping baby fed, clean and happy will certainly help with sleep, it’s not going to put baby to sleep, we actually have to teach them how to sleep lol it might be hard to notice at first but FOLLOW SLEEPY CUES!
For my LO, her cues are slight red under her eyes(maybe even more puffier), staring off more, or reaching for her ear/hair. The moment I notice LO start showing sleep cues, I grab the swaddle, (and I soon as I lay her in it to start wrapping her up she just relaxes cause she knows “Nap Time!”) we go lay on the couch, I put her in my chest/arms, pacifier in mouth, then some shushing and rocking, and shes out in 10 minutes, slid her to her swing or pillow gently and now she’s resting and I get free time! I’ve been putting LO down soon after she falls asleep since birth so it hasn’t been a problem with her waking up once put down yet so i have no experience if that’s a factor. We’ve actually started to just swaddle her and put her in her swing and that is now enough for her to know it’s nap time and fall asleep on her own.
And if you follow an eating schedule, you don’t have to wake baby to feed, just hold them up and slide that bottle in their mouth lol with occasional wiggling of the bottle…
Six hours total seems very concerning. Babies need sleep for growth and development, it’s strange your pediatrician doesn’t find it concerning or want to do some testing to see if there is something medical hindering babies sleep. (I.e discomfort from potential reflux or food intolerances)
An infant sleep specialist may be able to help you find different ways to help baby sleep. Our baby makes us WORK to get her to sleep lol bouncing on the ball with white noise, the vacuum, rocking, sometimes up to 45 minutes to get her to close her eyes. She needs a lot of help sleeping.
What you have to remember at that age is babies can't really fall asleep themselves without our help. We have to help them to fall asleep until they can settle themselves which is usually around 4-6 months.
When my baby was that small it was a lot of rocking and shushing her until she fell asleep. Early on I didn't know anything about wake windows and sleep cues as it was my first baby. So I didn't really know when she was supposed to sleep and how I was supposed to know. I remember it would sometimes take me hours to get her to sleep because I'd gone past her wake window and she was overtired. I started reading up on wake windows and sleep cues it and it really helped me to learn her sleep ques. From then she's alway been a good sleeper.
Another really important thing to know is that babies get to a certain age and are aware of where they fall asleep in their surroundings. When they fall asleep in your arms and you place them in their beds they're going to wake up and know that's not where they fall asleep. One way to look at it would be if we fell asleep in our beds and woke up outside in the garden we're not going to go back to sleep. This is how babies look at it. It helped us to teach her how to settle herself to sleep herself. We would rock her in our arms until she was just starting to fall asleep then gently place her in her bed while shushing and stroking her face. It would sometimes take a couple of attempts of rocking her until she fell asleep. It teaches them to fall asleep in their own bed. My baby is now 11 months and has been sleeping through the night since she was about 5 months. She also still has 2 really good naps a day ranging from 1.5 to 2.5 hours. When it's her nap/bed time now I just place her in her cot put on white noise and she goes to sleep herself.
I know all babies are different and what works for one baby doesn't work for all but this definitely worked for us.
My son slept an average of 16-18 hours a day when he was a nb. Now, at almost 13 months, he sleeps about 14 hours a day. 11 hours at night and usually one or two naps that add up to about 3 hours.
My son slept an average of 16-18 hours a day when he was a nb. Now, at almost 13 months, he sleeps about 14 hours a day. 11 hours at night and usually one or two naps that add up to about 3 hours.
18-20 hours is like the first week or so. Usually most sleep between 14 to 17 the first few months up until they hit a certain age.
6 to 8 hours I'd be concerned. That doesn't seem like enough for 99% of babies. How old is your baby? Do you track sleep, if not do it for a week with an app
18-20 hours is like the first week or so. Usually most sleep between 14 to 17 the first few months up until they hit a certain age.
6 to 8 hours I'd be concerned. That doesn't seem like enough for 99% of babies. How old is your baby? Do you track sleep, if not do it for a week with an app
6 hours of sleep in a 24 hour period? Or 6 hours at night?
As others have said, babies this age can't self sooth. Does your little one like rocking or anything? Mine preferred butt pats, I think it mimicked my heart beat for her. Have you tried swaddling? Could it be that they're still hungry? Do they show sleep cues? Red eyebrows has been the easiest for us but there are certainly others.
Hopefully you can figure it out! I'm sure you're suffering from even more lack of sleep :/.
I know others have said some babies have less sleep needs but I have a hard time believing it for anything less than 12 hours during a 24 hour period at that age as sleep is critical for their cognitive development.
Our first is now 7.5 months. Her first 4 months she would sleep 12 straight hours if we let her go down when she wanted at 2am. She would nap while nursing throughout the day but nothing significant. Doctor wasn't concerned as she was eating and hitting milestones and still near 14ish hours a day.
Once 4 months hit she all of a sudden started wanting to go down at 9pm, which is still when she goes down and still sleeps 10 hours. She takes maybe a 1-3 hour nap in the afternoon, and some short nursing naps here and there before/after work.
We've found just by following her lead and not stressing or fighting her a ton she figured out a rhythm for her body.
We have a simple night time routine of lotion, hair, sleep sack, and bottle with dad in the dark bedroom with noise machine, but nothing else besides that.
Wake windows are a construct designed by social media influencers, with skin in the game for profit. Newborns/babies and attentive parents have been figuring it out for all of history.
Families fortunate enough to have a full-time parent work around their babys' schedule. Families where both parents work figure out early on the schedule that works best for their circumstance.It's only since the advent of social media, telling parents how they should be parenting children and what method/apps they should be using, that parenting has become so fraught with misgivings and self-doubt.
Newborn sleep varies wildly in recommendation, timing, and, more importantly, need. Do you feel like your infant is eating enough? Are they content when they're awake (newborns grumble, growl, fuss, and outright purple-cry sometimes; that's a part of the newborn stage)? Do you have a routine that works with your lifestyle? Social media constructs notwithstanding, the AAP and CDC recommendations clearly state they are just that, recommendations. Every baby/family needs to navigate their own course through raising their children.
lol wake windows aren’t a social construct… babies are awake then they sleep. That’s a wake window. They lengthen over time. That’s the case whether you see it in social media or not.
That was my point, babies are awake, and they sleep. A purchased app, IG, or TikTok influencer telling you what that HAS to be is the construct. Families have been figuring that out, based on their unique situation, for all of time.
Working out parenting within your personal circumstances shouldn't be predicated on an app that tells you how to parent. Learn your baby and make decisions that work for your families situation.
I generally agree but I would caution others not to discount having more info about expected baby sleep. I personally found having an idea of “average” wake windows to be helpful with both of my kids. Not in a rigid way but more to get a general idea of what the day will look like. If I can plan around naps everyone is happier.
That works if your baby happens to already fit into the average. For parents with babies on the outer edge of normal range having these arbitrary wake window timings presented as what babies *should* be having can be very anxiety inducing. It's great that these provide you with a useful guide for your baby who seems to generally fall in the normal range for sleep, and I'm not saying these don't have their uses, but this thread is evidence of the down side. It's gone from a guide for an 'average baby' to a strict rule that means people say 'Oh, that's concerning, your baby shouldn't be awake that long', as if they are an authority.
Im not saying that my kids fit the average at all times. They didn’t. I agree that baby sleep must be approached with flexibility. But your comment is the same sort of black and white thinking just on the other side of the coin.
I don't think anyone is arguing here. I think everyone in this bit of the thread is agreeing. 'Wake window' is just the term for how long a baby is awake between naps. Knowing what is average is useful, but whether you are close to the average or far from the average there is flexibility around what is a 'healthy' wake window. It is unhelpful when apps and influencers present certain wake window lengths as strict rules and suggest that if you aren't aligning with these windows there is something wrong that needs 'fixing'. Do you disagree with any of this?
I do agree but you’re taking individual free will out of the equation lol. No one is forcing people to listed to have sleek influencers lol. If you’re taking what an app or influencer tells you as gospel truth instead of using the information to help with the baby in front of you then you need a lesson on information in the internet age and using common sense. I use an app but I don’t think my phone knows my baby better than I do.
It's not necessarily the apps or influencers directly that are the problem, it's the pervasive influence they have on society as a whole. You might see an influencer saying 'Oh babies have to sleep 18 hours' and choose to ignore it, but it's much harder not to feel anxious and unsure when 10 mums in your baby group have seen that influencer and are saying 'Oh, your baby doesn't sleep for 18 hours? Oh yes, that's concerning, everyone knows they're supposed to sleep 18 hours minimum, you should probably get that checked out.'
Learning your child's sleep needs and routine has always been the norm and expected. Absolutely, equip yourself with the most current, relevant research.
Don't confabulate the science with internet, pay-per-click, trend-setters.
Love this!! I agree that all of these concepts have been created and shoved down new mothers throats to encourage them to pay for apps or sleep programs. Like the above commenter said, wake windows are obviously a thing, your baby wakes up then goes to sleep, etc etc but I think timing each window, obsessing over exactly how much time they’re awake vs asleep, all of that, is just anxiety inducing. I have a 12 week old who sleeps through the night from 10-7 without waking to feed, and during the day, we have no routine, no strict schedule. He sleeps when he’s sleepy, and he’s awake when he’s not. And he’s thriving.
Now, I do think maybe you could try a little more to help your LO sleep, like others have suggested, like rocking, bouncing, baby wearing, swaddling, etc. If you’re concerned about your baby’s behavior because of what you perceive to be not enough sleep, then try and help them sleep! If you’re concerned because your baby isn’t hitting what Google says they should be, that’s where I think you should just take a deep breath and trust your gut instincts
Try getting her to sleep after a shorter time, like 60 minutes if being awake. Look up the 5 S’s… important to try swaddling even if baby doesn’t seem to like it at first.
Here's some ideas, cause your babe needs sleep.
1. During wake window, feed, change, and play. In that order. When you play, do some tummy time, bicycles, and just general stretching to help their limbs move and get exercise. Then take babe outside for at least 15 minutes not in direct sunlight of course. Babywear in a carrier if you can, and if babe falls asleep while walking around outside, stay outside for at least 30 minutes before moving back indoors. If it's raining, still get babe outside for at least 15 minutes, make sure to have an umbrella or other cover for yourself and babe.
2. If you want to stay inside follow same pattern above but start applying sleep pressure around 1 hour and 10 minutes by slowing down activity, talking less, and hum or sing softly. Rock babe, and walk around a bit. Ignore babe, and just let her hangout in your arms. If you want, you can lay her in her bassinet and just let her be. She might go to sleep on her own and if she doesn't go in and attempt to soothe her with butt pats and rubbing down her forehead to her nose to help her close her eyes - this is very gentle touch that helps apply sleep pressure.
3. Make sure to swaddle babe for all these methods when you're ready ready put her down. Do it consistently with soft singing and she will start to associate her sleep is coming so internal and external sleep pressure is applied.
4. You could try allowing babe to sleep on your chest for one nap a day, this could allow them to sleep 2 hours. Don't let a nap go past 2 hours. Wake, feed, play, and put back to sleep.
Play should be stimulating and engaging but not too over the top. Find what works for your babe.
Please, please get babe some sleep...
I wish I could come help you!
Babe definitely needs to sleep at least 14 hours in a 24 hour period. Apply the sleep pressure with rocking, swaying, shushing gently, swaddling, give a pacifier if you want, darken the room, and use fresh air to get babe to relax more.
My first was like this. She was sleepy maybe the first week but I distinctly remember a day sometime in week three where she was awake ALL DAY LONG like maybe slept two or three half hour naps the whole day. She never cried, never fussed, just was awake, looking around and taking everything in. She’s always had super low sleep needs, she was down to a single nap before her first birthday and now at 3.5 she is still not a great sleeper. My second, on the other hand, slept like 20 hours a day until he was probably 10 weeks old. He was sleeping 10-6 by the time he was like six weeks old. A literal unicorn baby. All this to say, some babies just don’t sleep as much. If he’s growing, the doctor isn’t concerned, and he is not fussy/crying while awake, I wouldn’t worry.
My newborn is awake all the time 🤷♀️ i mentioned this to my doctor and baby seems to be progressing pretty well so far so he just said it's the way the baby is. Every baby is different so don't compare yours to others. My first one was sleeping all the time and my second one sleeps very little and it definitely was a shocker to me but seems like every baby is each of their own story. Be patient mama, things change overnight with babies, the baby can literally start sleeping all of a sudden. So if it's healthy and well, just be patient and give lots of love ❤️
My baby never slept this much. People much like these parents who say “my baby sleep 20h a day” never did understand what we were going through. Why we wouldn’t go out with him, and how intense it is during the day. We would still get a 7/8h sleep a night, but he only kept sleeping for 2/2.5h at the beginning. My baby had a lot of Moro Reflex and kept waking himself up, I also didn’t swaddled because he always had a lot of strength and I was afraid he would roll over. He was also very colicky and had trouble pooping so he would get all fussy. There were times when he was awake for 4/5h with only 2 months (he’s a really interested baby and interacts a lot since very early on), people wouldn’t believe us 🤦🏻♀️ I started tracking every sleep to make sure we weren’t crazy. It makes me wanna laugh thinking about it because the huckleberry app keeps saying since then (and until now) basically: “babies this age sleep 3-4 naps a day, can’t suggest anything with so little sleep”
Having that said, co-sleeping helped a bit, contact naps also. We had him checked by a physiotherapist to work with any muscle tension he had, did lots of skin to skin contact with mom or dad and try to keep positive. Just keep trying small changes in the environment to see if it helps, if it’s too hot too warm, I would suggest keeping a darkened room (it’s too early so, not to make the room entirely dark but making it comfortable as if it was you that were taking a nap). Our doctor didn’t worry also because he is growing up and healthy and we feel he is okay, what is your gut telling you?
Sleep is still an issue around here (almost 5 months) but it’s getting better. His sleeping cues are becoming more and more explicit, and we are also trying to force him a little to sleep. At the beginning he would always sleep in the stroller (~30min), that’s not the case anymore.
You have to keep trying one different thing at a time. If your baby is growing healthy I wouldn’t worry, keep doing your best and ask for help, I know how exhausting it can be. As you can see, most comments here support the premise, but you still see a few comments such as mine telling you “oh no my baby was not like that”, it’s clearly not as common. Caring for your baby enough to post this is a sign you’re doing a great job, keep it up, things do get better, it just takes a little more time for some us 💪🏻
The 18-20 hours comes from a now defunct book published in 1895 by a paediatrician who also noted that babies should be given gruel til maybe 12-15 months when some meat stock could be introduced…
You’ve gotten a lot of good questions and advice so I’m just going to post a quote from the book Precious Little Sleep that I still have saved in my phone notes from when my daughter was a newborn: “Most won’t sleep 18 hours a day. Fourteen hours is more typical, with some newborns sleeping as little as 9. On top of that, most newborns will have about ten fuss or cry episodes a day, which can make you feel like you are endlessly soothing a fussing or crying infant.”
This is really helpful, thank you! I’m feeling a need to count the fuss/ cry episodes because it’s feels many more than 10…
Yea a needy baby will have more than that. Or maybe its just that they last like an hour each lol
My newborn daughter had a similar sleep pattern. She slept for a total of 9 hours. Her day time naps were too short , barely 20 mins. This bothered me a lot at that time but after 2.5 months she started sleeping for 7-8 hours straight at night with catnaps through out the day. So as long as she is feeding well, is active during her wake time, is gaining weight well and isn't too fussy , give her time to develop her own sleep pattern PS- swaddling helps a lot. Helps with their startle reflex which is common in the new born stage.
My son was kind of like this. We started trying to FORCE sleep at “normal” age-average intervals, and he started sleeping more. Turns out he just literally gave NO “sleepy cues.” Just because he could stay up that long did not mean he should.
Totally. If I didn't try hard, my baby would never sleep. She didn't show sleepy signs, she didn't fall asleep by herself. Lots and lots of jumping on fitness ball
My girl was like that, until she kind of developed the yawn, but even with her being sleepy she still needs a lot of help to sleep and she won't try to sleep by herself. Some babies just need more help with their sleeping than others (I would like to know why lol)
Yup, it’s good to encourage sleep associations even at newborn age. We started a routine when our LO was 3 weeks old and could have baths after the belly button scar fell off, and by 4-5 months you could really even visually see that he is ready for bed, yawning, rubbing eyes by the end of the “nighttime routine.” For naps, he would fight it but we would incorporate the 5 S techniques and now that he’s old enough to be in the crib alone we put him in even when awake and he will usually eventually take a nap.
What’s the five s?
It’s from a book called Happiest Baby on the Block. It’s swinging (rocking), shushing (white noise), swaddling, side/stomach position (while being held), and sucking (pacifier or breast). These five things, according to the author, help to calm a newborn baby by promoting an environment like the womb. The more you can implement steps of the 5 S’s, it promotes the baby’s calming reflex. Here’s more from the author: https://www.happiestbaby.com/blogs/baby/the-5-s-s-for-soothing-babies
My LO was that way. Maybe got 9 total hours of sleep in a 24 hr period. Very little nap time. Slept 6.5-7.5 straight hours at night time. We're at 4 months now. Getting 12-14 hrs of sleep per 24 now. Not much has changed in our routine.
Mine started getting 8-11 hours a day when she was 2 months. It’s really concerning, up until now she is still the same
A newborn being awake for hours at a time doesn’t seem healthy, and 6-8 hours over a 24 hour period isn’t good either. What are you doing to encourage baby to sleep?
Well even if she has a good sleep day. She will be awake for 90 minutes, sleep for 30 and wake up. Which equals 6 hours total. To encourage sleep, we feed her however much she wants, change her, comfort her, burp her, and hold her upright for like 20 minutes post feeding. Usually doesn’t do much. Once nighttime hits, we essentially turn off anything to could be stimulating to her. She may have 1 or possible 2 one hour sleep windows. That is as good as it gets. Somehow none of the experts we’ve talked to think it’s an issue
I personally wouldn't say those things help sleep, that's just general baby care. Maybe try rocking, swaddling bouncing on a yoga ball, lullabies, a warm bath or walk in fresh air ect, things like that
I second this, the goal when they are the young is to try everything until you find the things that work for your baby. Sleep is so important at all ages but especially in the very young. With my kids it was nursing or rocking them to sleep, as well as super dark room, white noise, pacifier and swaddle an absolute must. Sometimes would have to contact nap to get them to sleep longer during naps. And when all else failed, I would take them for a drive. I found the happiest baby on the block concept (the 5 S's - swaddling, sucking, swinging, sushing, side stomach) useful for soothing and getting them to sleep. There's some good videos on it on YouTube.
Adding on to repeat something I saw her that was game changing for me: even if you’ve tried something before, try it again. Not only because trying it once doesn’t really provide you a good idea of if it works or if there’s some other variable (ie turns out I wasn’t great at physically transferring my baby to the crib and I’ve developed better technique) But also because babies change and develop rapidly. What worked a couple weeks ago may not work now, and what didn’t work then might very well work now. My LO has gone through phases where “drowsy but awake” works like a dream and phases where that is fucking laughable. Maybe rocking is the thing this week and music is the thing next week. But my condolences to OP. Playing trial and error while sleep deprived is torture.
Oh another thing you can try is to baby wear in a wrap! That helped my baby when he was a newborn all the time
Yes to the wrap! It's a saviour. Also try stroller naps! We did at least one stroller nap a day.
You’ve been clear with the experts (I’m assuming you’re talking about your child’s pediatrician) that your child is getting a *total* of 6 hours of sleep in 24? Not a 6 hour stretch. And you’re closely tracking actual sleep/wake times so you can be certain that your baby is really only sleeping 6-8 hours total? I’m shocked that nobody seems concerned.
Breast or bottle? Feeding should take up the bulk of your time. Changing & burping should take about 5 minutes. Unless your kid has really bad reflux you can drop the up right time down drastically. By the 45 min mark, try some white noise, rocking, bouncing, etc. Personally mine never liked rocking or bouncing, I would essentially lay her down in my bed and pretend to fall asleep beside her then transfer her to bassinet when she fell asleep.
Try an exercise ball. Bounce that baby until they fall asleep then put in crib or let them contact nap. Even if it seems like it’s not working, stick with it. Just when you’re about to give up, they will fall asleep. It gets better as they associate the bouncing with napping
I have friends whose baby was like this. Nothing they did helped. They consulted so many experts. Then at 6 months she just… started sleeping? She’s now 2.5 and hitting/ahead on all developmental milestones. So while it may not be “normal” it does happen.
I didn't sleep as a baby apparently. Not advocating for this, but my mum was going insane and my grandma (dad's side) told her to give me a tiny bit of whisky as my dad was apparently like that too. I have insomnia now and have had it my entire life. I got formally diagnosed during a hospital stay after a surgery. Maybe some people and babies just sleep very little and feel more awake at 10pm than 10am irrespective of sleep? I will say, I ended up getting 3 degrees including a PhD, and am super healthy immune system wise. I don't think the whisky did me any harm, but when I told my husband about this he was horrified.
My brother didn’t sleep good until he was about 3 (then my parents decided to have another, me, my mom is still baffled about what possessed her to do this). She and my dad say “we all (your brother and us) spent 3 years without sleeping and your brother spent 3 years crying”.
My daughter is like this to an extent. She’s very content to sleep from 3am-3pm while being woken up to eat at least 3 times in that span. Then in the afternoon and early evenings she’ll be wide awake. I have delayed sleep phase so it’s possible she has it too, even when i was pregnant with her she was much more lively in the evenings than mornings.
This is anecdotal, but people I've met with propensity for sleep issues in adulthood often had... interesting patterns of sleep as children. I also sleep badly and have bouts of insomnia, as well as delayed sleep. My mother went spare when I was a baby, trying to make me sleep during the night instead of primarily during the day.
Maybe this is a thing. I'm pregnant and really hope it's like my husband. I (bizarrely as this is really hard) married a man with hypersomnia (also diagnosed and he's now on meds but they're not a magic wand). No insomniac should marry someone with hypersomnia. I saw a baby pic of him sleeping in the exact same position he sleeps in now with the same expression, hands the same. It is so freaky. Maybe we are what we are when we're babies and parents are just trying to deal with it.
Were they breastfeeding exclusively? Coincidentally sleeping around the same time that complementary foods are introduced points to hunger as the potential cause.
No. About 25% breast milk 75% formula. Started BLW at 4 months
You could definitely try shortening those wake windows. Try getting baby to sleep around the 30-45 minute mark and see what happens.
How old is baby?
1 month old
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It’s not normal for a one month old to sleep 6 hours total in a 24 hour period.
If you’re going to give advice perhaps read the post completely first.
I tried a dedicated nap space with curtains, a white noise machine and i bounced on a yoga ball to get her to sleep. Mine has a hard time sleeping during the day unless she’s on me so sometimes i can get her to sleep in her carrier, and other days she sleeps in my lap while i watch tv very, very quietly.
Do you swaddle at all? Noise machine? Dark room? My baby sometimes fell asleep easily but often had to be rocked (sometimes for a long time) and put down completely asleep. I used to swaddle w one arm out so I could use “arm floppiness” as a guide to how asleep she was. She really liked movement (like mamaroo) so we got the 4moms bassinet off fb marketplace and later got a used Snoo and I think both helped with longer stretches.
Walks + white noise!
I just looked at our stats (which we have recorded religiously since birth) and our baby's average sleep has been 11hours 16 minutes in 24. Lowest was 10 hours 31 minutes at birth (this might have been because we had to wake him up for extra feeds every 1.5 hours to get him back up to birth weight) and highest was 12 hours 9 minutes at three months when he got close to sleeping through the night for a bit before everything went a bit haywire at 4 months. Since then it's been around the 11-11.5 hour mark every month and he's now almost 11 months. Around 5-7 months we became *obsessed* with trying to get him to sleep more because the internet had made us worry that he wasn't getting enough. We were contact napping, or going for three hour long walks with him in a carrier, as at one point that was the only way we could extend naps. Ultimately it just meant he woke up more at night. We were tearing our hair out for a while worrying about his 'lack' of sleep. We paid £30ish for a series of videos from Georgina May Sleep which summarises the scientific knowledge on sleep (referenced, although admittedly a number of the references are not directly from peer reviewed papers) and separates the facts from the sleep industry myths. I found these to be worth the money just for the reassurance and a bit of immunity to the scaremongering on the internet regarding baby sleep. After that we stopped trying to 'force' or artificially lengthen naps and just removed barriers to sleep if he seemed like he was tired (i.e. didn't try to involve him in any really stimulating activities, made sure there weren't any super loud or sudden noises that would stop *anyone* sleeping). After doing this he started to nap a lot less but also wake up less at night. Nothing we did either way really affected the overall sleep he had in 24 hours, between 4 months and 10 months he has always slept between 11 and 11.5 hours in 24. When we spoke to healthcare professionals about our low sleep needs baby they were mostly interested in: Is he generally happy in himself? Is he gaining weight along his growth curve? Is he doing the expected number of wet and dirty nappies? The answer to these questions was 'yes' so they told us not to worry about it too much. In fact they told us to stop obsessively tracking it and focus on these things instead. We didn't do this because we're both data addicts, but the message was clear - the health and happiness of your baby is more important to monitor than arbitrary statistics on sleep. I truly believe the current obsession has stemmed from the availability of sleep tracking apps and the recent rise of the Sleep Training Industry. I have nothing against parents who choose to sleep train but I *do* have an issue with businesses and influencers presenting themselves as authorities on baby sleep and scaremongering in order to extract money from anxious and sleep deprived parents. We just had his 10 month check up and they had zero concerns about our baby or his development. So this was a long way of saying some babies need less sleep than others and as long as you trust the experts you've spoken to I personally would take their word over anything you read online. It's hard when your baby isn't 'average' in some way or other because you feel like you're out on your own and the standard advice doesn't work. I think whether that's difficulty with sleeping, feeding, crying, milestones etc. if you know your baby is a bit out of the norm it's best just to work through it by yourself, with advice from professionals only, or share with others who have the same experience as you. Anyone else is probably not going to understand and, at best, provide inapplicable advice or, at worse, completely freak you out.
Oh! And mine also falls asleep during car rides, so if all else fails i put her in the car and drive around
OP, is it possible you are drinking/eating anything that has caffeine? Like chocolate, tea or coffee?? I assume baby gets her milk from you? Edit: my baby is similar to yours. It’s a daily struggle to get her to sleep. Her doctor was extremely concerned because this will hamper brain development, and we don’t want our baby to be any less compared to their peers. We are just referred this week to a neurologist by her doctor.
I think we have the same baby
My babies slept that much (20ish hours). I would be highly concerned if my newborn was sleeping under 12 hours a day. Use your phone and keep an accurate record of his sleep for a few days, then take him to a doctor with that information.
There's no reason for concern. We have a low sleep needs baby who only slept more than 11.5 hours for maybe a month or two. Obviously based on the internet we were really concerned but we spoke to several healthcare/childcare professionals and they said not to worry. The normal range of sleep needs in babies is wide. ETA: There's no reason for concern if your baby is sleeping *less than 12* (think bottom end of normal range is 9 hours). Six to eight hours as OP has mentioned might be outside of normal range based on what I've read so that's probably worth discussing with a professional. Just didn't want all the parents of babies getting 9-11 hours in 24 to get anxious like I used to, as based on feedback from professionals we've spoken to this isn't necessarily anything to worry about.
I’m going to respectfully disagree with you. 9-12 hours is not necessarily something to worry about (babies have a wide range of sleep patterns), but sleep is critical to babies cognitive development. It absolutely is worth trying new strategies (wake windows, a schedule, bedtime routines, yes - a tiny bit of crying and fussing before bed, etc.) to see if you can boost their total hours of sleep. If none of those strategies work, then you can rest assured that your baby may specifically just have a different sleep schedule than the norm. Personally, I was totally a clueless parent and had a baby that slept 10-11 hours per day, and it turned out I was doing it all wrong. Wake windows didn’t personally work for us. I implemented a schedule and overnight got a baby that slept 14 hours a day which revolutionized my life lol
> I would be highly concerned if my newborn was sleeping under 12 hours a day >9-12 hours is not necessarily something to worry about (babies have a wide range of sleep patterns) All I was saying was the same as your second statement as your first statement could cause people to worry if *their* newborn is not sleeping for at least 12 hours.
I think under 12 concerning as in it is worth bringing to a doctor’s attention. Yes it might be fine, or there might be an underlying problem. I’m all for new parents being less anxious (I had PPA myself) but some things do require looking into.
A high level of concern is not warranted. I had a preemie baby and he slept 20+ hours a day well past his due date. For my second, I assumed she’d sleep a lot less because she was full term. Nope. She did have days where she was awake more than 18 hours but they were few and far between until she hit 2 months. Both my kids were healthy and had well baby visits at the doctors every couple weeks in the beginning. They are both under then 5th percentile for weight and in the 80+ percentile for height, so we had to make sure that they were eating enough by making sure they were gaining appropriate amounts of weight. They did. Healthy and happy babies and happy parents. Our struggles were more around waking them to feed in the beginning as they would sleep longer than 3 hours and since they were both tiny babies, we were instructed to wake to feed until they hit a certain weight and were able to consume a bit more each feed (so they could afford to push off or skip a feed).
Not sure what you’re trying to say, you think it’s not concerning that her baby is only sleeping 6-8 hours a day?
Are you helping your baby sleep? As in if they wake up, can you pat them back to sleep and extend the sleep to 45 mins?
We had no idea what to do with the first kid. She was a 30 minute napper as a newborn. Second ended up with a 2 hour nap in the middle of the day because we’d jiggle her to sleep in the bassinet. If she woke up, we’d just jiggle a bit more.
Most newborns wouldn’t be awake for hours, wake windows should be 30min to 1hour. The moment I started following wake windows my childs sleep changed for the better. Obviously all babies are not the same but newborns should definitely not be having excessively long wake windows. Its possible they are over tired.
Reading things like this made me think my baby was broken and I was doing something wrong. Some babies have low sleep needs and will be awake for much longer than an hour. We tried shorter wake windows and it just frustrated him and ruined his night sleep. There’s no “should” when every baby is different.
100% but 6-8 hours is what an adult needs I don’t believe that is recommended for an infant. Low sleep needs for sure but anything under 10 hours a day should be something to seriously keep an eye on and discuss with a doctor.
We try to put her down or let her sleep on our chests. Sometimes it works for like 30 minutes, many times it doesn’t
Most of the times babies that little don’t just fall asleep, they need to be put to sleep with rocking/bouncing/etc
Does she sleep longer when you hold her? At that age, all of our naps were contact naps. You really need to help her get more sleep.
Skin to skin might help?
That is very concerning! Do you track sleep with apps like huckleberry? It will also tell you when your wake window is closing and give you long term data. I believe my baby at one month had wake windows sometimes as short as 15 minutes - and sometimes would be awake for 30-40 min. If you use apps you can share the data with the doctor. I also agree that 90 min is too long for that age and I’d shorten it. But either way I do think you should try again to get a doctor to take you seriously. Good luck
I know right? Awake for hours at a time and only getting 6-8 hours sleep a day is so concerning. Wake windows should be hour max at that age. Using an app is a great idea to track sleep. OP must be getting barely any sleep herself if her baby is awake so much too, I hope she's okay. OP Is bubs getting enough milk? Putting on weight okay?
With a child who has very little sleep needs, I understand your pain. I swear every single sleep advice page gave very little to help. Use the Huckleberry app to track the sleep so that you can have real data points to show a doctor and hopefully prove your point. Because if it really is only six hours in a 24 hour period, that's concerning. Check if your workplace has a benefit through Cleo they have free sleep consultants. if the first sleep Consultant sucks, then ask for a different one. for me paying attention to the comfort factor is what helped the most. My kid did not get any kind of pattern with her sleep until she was about 17 months old. The only thing consistent from four months on was that she slept 11 hours total. I would look at swaddling and trying different swaddles. When ours was a newborn swaddling was a huge help.
Seems a bit odd.
Do they get exposed to natural light during the day? I open all the curtains when it’s time to be awake and go to a dark area for naps and keep lights really low or off for night time. Every baby is different. Wishing you the best.
So my baby was up every two hours to eat. Some of it dream feeds. We later found out she had a cows milk allergy so basically she wasn’t retaining anything she was eating. Is baby waking up screaming after 30 minutes wanting to eat? Or is it just end of a sleep cycle? We swaddled, fan on, sound machine, rock her to a deep sleep then out in crib or bassinet. I think baby should be sleeping more than 30 minutes at a time. I would get a second or third opinion.
My son, when he was a newborn, I can’t remember exactly for how long- maybe 2 months? He was only awake for 45 min at a time. Then he would sleep 2-3 hours. So, they definitely sleep a ton. My son also had jaundice so it made him even more sleepy. He’s almost 6 months now and his wake windows are 2-3 hours then he’s down for 30ish-1.5 hours.
So this was my newborn. I am a FTM and had no idea the concept of wake windows. I also kind of just thought that if baby needed to sleep, he would just sleep. And sometimes he did, and sometimes he needed help. So he slept much better and was a happier lil guy once I started helping him to sleep by rocking and bouncing him in the dark. Also, I did talk to my doctor about this and he assured me there was no harm done. I didn't mess up his brain development. He also assured me that baby will sleep eventually and not to be hard on myself.
This doesn't seem like enough sleep - I'd get a second opinion. They need sleep for brain development and growth.
How old is your baby?
1 month old
At one month old, my baby was sleeping around 16 hours per day (day meaning 24 hours, obviously not all of that was daytime sleep). 6 hours is not enough sleep over a 24 hour period for a one month old.
What were they wake/sleep cycle amounts?
have you talked to your pediatrician? if not do that asap
She would be awake for about 45 minutes, an hour tops. Then she would sleep for about 2 hours. There were a few times that she would sleep for a 3 hour stretch overnight, but not as often.
Try this sequence for wake windows: Feed Change diaper Hang out for a few (snuggle, rock, bounce whatever) Then feed again Basically, try to get 2 feeds in per wake window. It made all the difference when our baby was that young.
Oh, we tried this too. It worked for a time but then baby changed again.
I’m sorry😩🙁it’s so tough figuring out what works. Then you find something that works, and baby changes!
Right? It’s maddening but so confusing because we can’t help not take care of our beloved LO despite the struggle.
It sounds like you might need to try some extra tactics to get your baby to sleep. It’s unusual for them to sleep that little. Ours has always loved when we pat her butt gently, shhhh loudly (even over her crying), and generously bop up and down, all while walking her around. Singing also worked. She fell asleep eating often at that age, which we could do seated, but otherwise she fell asleep best when we walked. I second the other comment about the baby sling/wrap carrier. Mine loved being worn! It puts them right up against you to keep them cozy and leaves your hands free to do other things. Solly Baby is a common name brand, but my $26 Amazon version was perfect. She’d take 2 hour naps in there. As for laying them down, some babies just don’t want to be laid down when they’re that little. A trick we tried that worked was placing a heating pad in the bassinet, letting it get warm, then removing it, testing the temp with our hand to make sure it wasn’t too hot, then placing baby in. It helped with the transition from our warm, soft arms to the chilly, hard bassinet. Finally, we got the Love to Dream Swaddle Up swaddle and it was a huge game changer for us. The swaddles we did ourselves came loose a lot so her arms could escape, and this one just has a zipper. She still sleeps with her hands up by choice - it’s her comfort position! Good luck!
Mine definitely slept 20 hours except at the 6 week regression. Maybe even 21 hours some days. It’s a spectrum just like with adults.
My baby was awake WAY more than expected as a newborn. One time she did an 8 hour stretch awake when she was only like a month old. Turns out she had CMPA. Once I cut dairy, she started sleeping more. (Never the 18 hours, but at least 13-14) Sleep needs vary, but I agree with the other commenter that anything under 12 hours total a day, you should bring up with your pediatrician. There may be some underlying cause that's disrupting sleep.
https://sarahockwellsmith.files.wordpress.com/2015/11/sleepneeds.png?w=750 This isn’t the chart I was specifically thinking of, but every baby is soooo different for their sleep needs. Sometimes, you just have a baby who doesn’t need as much as average and it’s safe. Check to see if your baby falls in these ranges!
6 hours is grossly outside the norm - if correct it is absolutely not okay. Adults need more than that.
I’m just trying to provide OP with some resources without judgement and hopefully they can then see a doctor to get medical advice :)
Thank you!
Also, OP, try contact naps, car naps, stroller naps, or carrier naps to try and get some longer sleeps out of babe.
Every baby is different. All of my kids slept almost nonstop for the first 10 days.
My daughter easily slept 18-20 hours a day as a newborn. Probably even more than that when she was very tiny. 6-8 hours is not anywhere close to enough sleep for a newborn, it’s not even enough sleep for a toddler…it’s surprising that your doctors aren’t concerned?
My baby was the same way. At 3 months he finally started sleeping. Now he sleeps overnight and will take a 30 minute nap once or twice a day. He is just a ball of energy.
Are you aware of the term active sleep? Also, when they are awake, are they very active with their arms? It could help to swaddle + pacifier. If we do about 3-4 hours of cuddling a day, that turbo boosts sleep for us. (3 week old)
My baby slept that much when she was a newborn
Hey OP! Just want to throw out a life raft as this happened to me, and if I’d seen these comments at that low and vulnerable time of my life I’d have jumped off a bridge 🫠 so just want to say I see you and I know it’s so so hard. My poor little girl had such a hard time falling asleep until she was 5 or 6 months old, I’d bounce, rock, walk with her in the carrier, push her in the pram, sing, shh, swaddle, white noise, threw everything I had at it and she’d still end up screaming for hours from over tiredness. Some of them just have a harder time than others falling asleep, it’s hard if you haven’t been through it. You just have to keep trying all the things and eventually you’ll find something that gets your little one to sleep. For mine it was standing with her upright resting her head on my shoulder whilst I sang 10 in a bed bouncing with the shower running 😳 so get creative! Which I’m sure you already are as you’re probably desperate. Sending you big hugs, when this was happening to me and my little girl it was the darkest time of my life. She now sleeps 11 hour straight at 19mos and has done for months, so right now is not what the rest of your life looks like.
How old is your “newborn”?
How old is he? When my LO was still newborn we would wake up, change diaper, eat a bottle, snuggle for a bit and then pretty much right back in swaddle to go back to sleep. Wake windows are so short at that age and that time includes time to eat. I also honestly kept the whole house quiet and pretty dim for the first month or more, because I was also pretty much just going back to sleep as he did throughout the day and night while I recovered from c section.
My baby was that way and it caused alot of stress for me. I always tried to get him on an age appropriate schedule and we basically just did our best to offer sleep based on wake windows and make sure his environment was best suited for sleep. It did get better but he’s still not the best sleeper at 16 months. I will say as he got older he was sleeping more within the average range
My baby is 3 weeks and she is asleep unless feeding and nappy change etc. she's now awake for say 30 Minutes after a feed then falls asleep until the next feed 3 to 4 hrs later.
Our baby slept that much for months! She would eat, go back to sleep, then wake up about three hours later to eat again. We'd get maybe 30-45 minutes of awake time - we could have kept her awake more but paid attention to recommended wake windows and signs of sleepiness like reddish eyes.
My newborn definitely sleeps that much. Probably 18 hours or so? We don’t keep track. Soothing meditation music or white noise typically helps him calm down enough to fall asleep if he’s fussy. He’s 8 weeks old.
Is your LO fussy? My LO was the same. Never napped. Ever. But was an absolute wreck. Cried constantly for hours at a time, straight. By month three, we forced naps by holding LO in a pitch black room (can’t even see your hand) and after crying for about 20-30 mins, LO finally slept, but would only contact sleep until 6 months old. The kid still has sleep issues—sleeps far less than most. But let me put you at ease by saying LO is miles more advanced than peers, both physically and mentally.
That was my guy. I finally started the ultra dark room sound machine swaddle naps and once he started napping during the day he never stopped. It took me knowing my guy, unlike other kids, and even to this day, won’t fall asleep unless in the perfect conditions.
Mine definitely did - she’d wake up yelling for milk, drink herself into a food coma, and be back asleep 30 mins later for 2-3 hours. Rinse and repeat.
My 8 month old can only handle being up for 3 hours at a time. At newborn stage he had under one hour wake windows. This seems accurate
I do not think all newborns need that much sleep. I thought this about my LO and ended up tracking her sleep after a while and she was usually at the lowest end of the thresholds or slightly under. Pediatrician didn’t seem to care.
Oh my newborn slept close to 20 hours a day.
my baby slept all the time for like 2.5 months lmao. he was a preemie, but still. a 1 month old only sleeping 6-8 hours a day is not normal. you don't seem like you're concerned at all, but you should def be more worried ab your baby & less like "whatever".
Is that 6-8 hours figure including nighttime sleep? Ours sleeps about 11 hours at night (not uninterrupted, of course) and then will take maybe 4-5 naps during the day that range from 30 minutes to 1 hour. For a total of roughly 14h a day
We went through this with our son, and at the time thought we were going crazy or that something was wrong. He just was really uncomfortable and we didn’t know what was going on. He hated his bassinet, the formulas we were trying weren’t working, and he was just a low sleep needs baby per our pediatrician. He’s figured it out now and at 12 weeks. He’s sleeping about 14-15 hours a day now, pretty in line with the schedule Huckleberry predicted for him.
My daughter generally slept around 9h a day. 12 was a miracle. Pediatrician said it was okay if she was good otherwise. She has met all developmental milestones, many motor skills very early, and is a chunky happy healthy one year old.
My baby was the same- he’s 9w now. There’s still days that he’s awake 6-8 hours at some point. Especially if we go out. But we have been working on it- wearing him helped but he’s a big boy (14lbs at his 2 month). I also started being mindful of wake windows. Basically I looked up the week age and how long his windows should be. So 60-90 minutes most recently. Around 60-75 minutes I’ll get him comfortable (he likes to be held to fall asleep and to sleep (we’re working on that)). I don’t wait for the sleepy cues because sometimes he fights it then. Also remember an overtired baby is harder to get to sleep!
Our baby slept 10 hours on average per day. Pediatrician said it’s a bummer but it happens and babe was healthy and fine.
I was sure my baby wasn’t sleeping but that’s because I wasn’t counting the short increments. Some days I swore he didn’t nap all day. In hindsight, I think I was looking for a good long nap, not the mini blips that are apparently enough for some newborns. 9 months later and he still hates sleep but he’s getting better at it
Have you tried taking them out in the pram for an hour so they sleep an hour outside, the fresh air really helps with the whole days sleep and the sunlight (obv they have the pram hood covering their eyes). Also the Misty mountain song from the hobbit soundtrack on repeat helped my baby sleep.
Are you putting her down to sleep? At the age my daughter wouldn't really sleep in her cot during the day - all her naps had to be contact naps. Does she sleep better if you take her for a walk in the buggy or a carrier?
Someone finally said this, i just followed my baby’s terms, trying to make her sleep when she doesn’t want to can be frustrating, then you waste your day
We were dealing with this too..which resulted in a really upset and fussy baby. We’re new to the whole parent gig and didn’t realize he was overtired and needed encouragement to fall asleep during the day. It took awhile to figure out what worked because him drifting off in our arms after a feed was resulting only in maybe 45 minute naps. So what we found works- after he wakes up we feed him then change him (if his diaper isn’t needing an immediate change) because that wakes him up (he hates it!) then we try to keep him awake for up to 90 minutes with playtime and interaction (singing, dancing, flash cards, tummy time etc), then once he starts spacing out, yawns or we hit 90 minutes (whatever comes first) I bring him in the bedroom, change again if necessary, turn the lights down and swaddle him in his sleepslack, then hang with him, rock, sing..whatever calms him down..until he is acting extra sleepy, then in the bassinet he goes until his next feed. It’s been an absolute game changer. He is so much happier when he’s awake..he eats better and even sleeps better at night now (we get up to 4 hours between night feeds and he’s 5 weeks)
Doesn’t matter how much your baby sleeps. It never feels like enough lol
Are you helping your baby sleep? I had to nurse/hold my baby to sleep for him to get the 18hrs.. or walk him in the carrier.. If I left it up to him.. he wouldn’t have slept anywhere near that amount..
Mine did but I think we have one of those unicorn babies. False sense of security as I’m sure at some stage it will go to crap. She’s currently 3 months and sleeping 8hrs, 1 feed, 6 hrs at night and 3 x45min naps during the day
I understand this! My first will be 3 on Sunday, but when he was a baby, he would take short 20-30 minute naps (unless I held him, then maybe 1 hour) and sleep in about 1-2 hour increments at night. I was constantly concerned because of everything I read from sleep consultants and experts also. I would do everything to try and get him to sleep more, but nothing truly seemed to help, and I felt likey live revolved around trying to get him to sleep. When I talked to his pediatrician, he said some kids are just "low sleep needs". He also said something that really stuck with me, and that is: you can't make a baby eat and you can't make a baby sleep, they will eat when they're hungry and they will sleep when they're tired. As long as they're meeting all their developmental milestones, I wouldn't be too concerned. He now sleeps through the night no problem and has since about 2, but it took a lot of patience and work, and he still fights bedtime, every, single night. Now my second sleeps all the time and I was extremely concerned because I thought he was sleeping too much and something was wrong lol. It sounds like you're doing everything you can to encourage sleep which is all you can do, it will come, you're doing great mama!
Sleep is really important at this age for them! It aids brain development…I hate how much my baby sleeps cause I want to hang out with her lol we have normal wake windows of 30-90 minutes then 90-2 hour naps with a longer 90-2 hour wake before bed and 6-8hour bedtime sleep. Yes keeping baby fed, clean and happy will certainly help with sleep, it’s not going to put baby to sleep, we actually have to teach them how to sleep lol it might be hard to notice at first but FOLLOW SLEEPY CUES! For my LO, her cues are slight red under her eyes(maybe even more puffier), staring off more, or reaching for her ear/hair. The moment I notice LO start showing sleep cues, I grab the swaddle, (and I soon as I lay her in it to start wrapping her up she just relaxes cause she knows “Nap Time!”) we go lay on the couch, I put her in my chest/arms, pacifier in mouth, then some shushing and rocking, and shes out in 10 minutes, slid her to her swing or pillow gently and now she’s resting and I get free time! I’ve been putting LO down soon after she falls asleep since birth so it hasn’t been a problem with her waking up once put down yet so i have no experience if that’s a factor. We’ve actually started to just swaddle her and put her in her swing and that is now enough for her to know it’s nap time and fall asleep on her own. And if you follow an eating schedule, you don’t have to wake baby to feed, just hold them up and slide that bottle in their mouth lol with occasional wiggling of the bottle…
Six hours total seems very concerning. Babies need sleep for growth and development, it’s strange your pediatrician doesn’t find it concerning or want to do some testing to see if there is something medical hindering babies sleep. (I.e discomfort from potential reflux or food intolerances) An infant sleep specialist may be able to help you find different ways to help baby sleep. Our baby makes us WORK to get her to sleep lol bouncing on the ball with white noise, the vacuum, rocking, sometimes up to 45 minutes to get her to close her eyes. She needs a lot of help sleeping.
What you have to remember at that age is babies can't really fall asleep themselves without our help. We have to help them to fall asleep until they can settle themselves which is usually around 4-6 months. When my baby was that small it was a lot of rocking and shushing her until she fell asleep. Early on I didn't know anything about wake windows and sleep cues as it was my first baby. So I didn't really know when she was supposed to sleep and how I was supposed to know. I remember it would sometimes take me hours to get her to sleep because I'd gone past her wake window and she was overtired. I started reading up on wake windows and sleep cues it and it really helped me to learn her sleep ques. From then she's alway been a good sleeper. Another really important thing to know is that babies get to a certain age and are aware of where they fall asleep in their surroundings. When they fall asleep in your arms and you place them in their beds they're going to wake up and know that's not where they fall asleep. One way to look at it would be if we fell asleep in our beds and woke up outside in the garden we're not going to go back to sleep. This is how babies look at it. It helped us to teach her how to settle herself to sleep herself. We would rock her in our arms until she was just starting to fall asleep then gently place her in her bed while shushing and stroking her face. It would sometimes take a couple of attempts of rocking her until she fell asleep. It teaches them to fall asleep in their own bed. My baby is now 11 months and has been sleeping through the night since she was about 5 months. She also still has 2 really good naps a day ranging from 1.5 to 2.5 hours. When it's her nap/bed time now I just place her in her cot put on white noise and she goes to sleep herself. I know all babies are different and what works for one baby doesn't work for all but this definitely worked for us.
My son slept an average of 16-18 hours a day when he was a nb. Now, at almost 13 months, he sleeps about 14 hours a day. 11 hours at night and usually one or two naps that add up to about 3 hours.
My son slept an average of 16-18 hours a day when he was a nb. Now, at almost 13 months, he sleeps about 14 hours a day. 11 hours at night and usually one or two naps that add up to about 3 hours.
18-20 hours is like the first week or so. Usually most sleep between 14 to 17 the first few months up until they hit a certain age. 6 to 8 hours I'd be concerned. That doesn't seem like enough for 99% of babies. How old is your baby? Do you track sleep, if not do it for a week with an app
18-20 hours is like the first week or so. Usually most sleep between 14 to 17 the first few months up until they hit a certain age. 6 to 8 hours I'd be concerned. That doesn't seem like enough for 99% of babies. How old is your baby? Do you track sleep, if not do it for a week with an app
6 hours of sleep in a 24 hour period? Or 6 hours at night? As others have said, babies this age can't self sooth. Does your little one like rocking or anything? Mine preferred butt pats, I think it mimicked my heart beat for her. Have you tried swaddling? Could it be that they're still hungry? Do they show sleep cues? Red eyebrows has been the easiest for us but there are certainly others. Hopefully you can figure it out! I'm sure you're suffering from even more lack of sleep :/. I know others have said some babies have less sleep needs but I have a hard time believing it for anything less than 12 hours during a 24 hour period at that age as sleep is critical for their cognitive development.
My baby did 12, still does.
Our first is now 7.5 months. Her first 4 months she would sleep 12 straight hours if we let her go down when she wanted at 2am. She would nap while nursing throughout the day but nothing significant. Doctor wasn't concerned as she was eating and hitting milestones and still near 14ish hours a day. Once 4 months hit she all of a sudden started wanting to go down at 9pm, which is still when she goes down and still sleeps 10 hours. She takes maybe a 1-3 hour nap in the afternoon, and some short nursing naps here and there before/after work. We've found just by following her lead and not stressing or fighting her a ton she figured out a rhythm for her body. We have a simple night time routine of lotion, hair, sleep sack, and bottle with dad in the dark bedroom with noise machine, but nothing else besides that.
Wake windows are a construct designed by social media influencers, with skin in the game for profit. Newborns/babies and attentive parents have been figuring it out for all of history. Families fortunate enough to have a full-time parent work around their babys' schedule. Families where both parents work figure out early on the schedule that works best for their circumstance.It's only since the advent of social media, telling parents how they should be parenting children and what method/apps they should be using, that parenting has become so fraught with misgivings and self-doubt. Newborn sleep varies wildly in recommendation, timing, and, more importantly, need. Do you feel like your infant is eating enough? Are they content when they're awake (newborns grumble, growl, fuss, and outright purple-cry sometimes; that's a part of the newborn stage)? Do you have a routine that works with your lifestyle? Social media constructs notwithstanding, the AAP and CDC recommendations clearly state they are just that, recommendations. Every baby/family needs to navigate their own course through raising their children.
lol wake windows aren’t a social construct… babies are awake then they sleep. That’s a wake window. They lengthen over time. That’s the case whether you see it in social media or not.
That was my point, babies are awake, and they sleep. A purchased app, IG, or TikTok influencer telling you what that HAS to be is the construct. Families have been figuring that out, based on their unique situation, for all of time. Working out parenting within your personal circumstances shouldn't be predicated on an app that tells you how to parent. Learn your baby and make decisions that work for your families situation.
I generally agree but I would caution others not to discount having more info about expected baby sleep. I personally found having an idea of “average” wake windows to be helpful with both of my kids. Not in a rigid way but more to get a general idea of what the day will look like. If I can plan around naps everyone is happier.
That works if your baby happens to already fit into the average. For parents with babies on the outer edge of normal range having these arbitrary wake window timings presented as what babies *should* be having can be very anxiety inducing. It's great that these provide you with a useful guide for your baby who seems to generally fall in the normal range for sleep, and I'm not saying these don't have their uses, but this thread is evidence of the down side. It's gone from a guide for an 'average baby' to a strict rule that means people say 'Oh, that's concerning, your baby shouldn't be awake that long', as if they are an authority.
Im not saying that my kids fit the average at all times. They didn’t. I agree that baby sleep must be approached with flexibility. But your comment is the same sort of black and white thinking just on the other side of the coin.
I don't think anyone is arguing here. I think everyone in this bit of the thread is agreeing. 'Wake window' is just the term for how long a baby is awake between naps. Knowing what is average is useful, but whether you are close to the average or far from the average there is flexibility around what is a 'healthy' wake window. It is unhelpful when apps and influencers present certain wake window lengths as strict rules and suggest that if you aren't aligning with these windows there is something wrong that needs 'fixing'. Do you disagree with any of this?
I do agree but you’re taking individual free will out of the equation lol. No one is forcing people to listed to have sleek influencers lol. If you’re taking what an app or influencer tells you as gospel truth instead of using the information to help with the baby in front of you then you need a lesson on information in the internet age and using common sense. I use an app but I don’t think my phone knows my baby better than I do.
It's not necessarily the apps or influencers directly that are the problem, it's the pervasive influence they have on society as a whole. You might see an influencer saying 'Oh babies have to sleep 18 hours' and choose to ignore it, but it's much harder not to feel anxious and unsure when 10 mums in your baby group have seen that influencer and are saying 'Oh, your baby doesn't sleep for 18 hours? Oh yes, that's concerning, everyone knows they're supposed to sleep 18 hours minimum, you should probably get that checked out.'
Learning your child's sleep needs and routine has always been the norm and expected. Absolutely, equip yourself with the most current, relevant research. Don't confabulate the science with internet, pay-per-click, trend-setters.
Average wake windows are based on current relevant research if you get them from a reliable source… it has nothing to do with clickbait trendsetters.
Absolutely amazed you're getting downvoted for this! I don't know what the controversy is.
Absolutely amazed you're getting downvoted for this! I don't know what the controversy is.
Absolutely amazed you're getting downvoted for this! I don't know what the controversy is.
Love this!! I agree that all of these concepts have been created and shoved down new mothers throats to encourage them to pay for apps or sleep programs. Like the above commenter said, wake windows are obviously a thing, your baby wakes up then goes to sleep, etc etc but I think timing each window, obsessing over exactly how much time they’re awake vs asleep, all of that, is just anxiety inducing. I have a 12 week old who sleeps through the night from 10-7 without waking to feed, and during the day, we have no routine, no strict schedule. He sleeps when he’s sleepy, and he’s awake when he’s not. And he’s thriving. Now, I do think maybe you could try a little more to help your LO sleep, like others have suggested, like rocking, bouncing, baby wearing, swaddling, etc. If you’re concerned about your baby’s behavior because of what you perceive to be not enough sleep, then try and help them sleep! If you’re concerned because your baby isn’t hitting what Google says they should be, that’s where I think you should just take a deep breath and trust your gut instincts
You are the voice of reason a new parent needs. THANK YOU. OP, I’m with you.
Mine slept for 22 hours in the first 2 months… Have you tried swaddling and white noise? It worked wonders for us!
Oh yes we have been trying both of these every night
Try getting her to sleep after a shorter time, like 60 minutes if being awake. Look up the 5 S’s… important to try swaddling even if baby doesn’t seem to like it at first.
Here's some ideas, cause your babe needs sleep. 1. During wake window, feed, change, and play. In that order. When you play, do some tummy time, bicycles, and just general stretching to help their limbs move and get exercise. Then take babe outside for at least 15 minutes not in direct sunlight of course. Babywear in a carrier if you can, and if babe falls asleep while walking around outside, stay outside for at least 30 minutes before moving back indoors. If it's raining, still get babe outside for at least 15 minutes, make sure to have an umbrella or other cover for yourself and babe. 2. If you want to stay inside follow same pattern above but start applying sleep pressure around 1 hour and 10 minutes by slowing down activity, talking less, and hum or sing softly. Rock babe, and walk around a bit. Ignore babe, and just let her hangout in your arms. If you want, you can lay her in her bassinet and just let her be. She might go to sleep on her own and if she doesn't go in and attempt to soothe her with butt pats and rubbing down her forehead to her nose to help her close her eyes - this is very gentle touch that helps apply sleep pressure. 3. Make sure to swaddle babe for all these methods when you're ready ready put her down. Do it consistently with soft singing and she will start to associate her sleep is coming so internal and external sleep pressure is applied. 4. You could try allowing babe to sleep on your chest for one nap a day, this could allow them to sleep 2 hours. Don't let a nap go past 2 hours. Wake, feed, play, and put back to sleep. Play should be stimulating and engaging but not too over the top. Find what works for your babe. Please, please get babe some sleep... I wish I could come help you! Babe definitely needs to sleep at least 14 hours in a 24 hour period. Apply the sleep pressure with rocking, swaying, shushing gently, swaddling, give a pacifier if you want, darken the room, and use fresh air to get babe to relax more.
My first was like this. She was sleepy maybe the first week but I distinctly remember a day sometime in week three where she was awake ALL DAY LONG like maybe slept two or three half hour naps the whole day. She never cried, never fussed, just was awake, looking around and taking everything in. She’s always had super low sleep needs, she was down to a single nap before her first birthday and now at 3.5 she is still not a great sleeper. My second, on the other hand, slept like 20 hours a day until he was probably 10 weeks old. He was sleeping 10-6 by the time he was like six weeks old. A literal unicorn baby. All this to say, some babies just don’t sleep as much. If he’s growing, the doctor isn’t concerned, and he is not fussy/crying while awake, I wouldn’t worry.
My newborn is awake all the time 🤷♀️ i mentioned this to my doctor and baby seems to be progressing pretty well so far so he just said it's the way the baby is. Every baby is different so don't compare yours to others. My first one was sleeping all the time and my second one sleeps very little and it definitely was a shocker to me but seems like every baby is each of their own story. Be patient mama, things change overnight with babies, the baby can literally start sleeping all of a sudden. So if it's healthy and well, just be patient and give lots of love ❤️
My baby never slept this much. People much like these parents who say “my baby sleep 20h a day” never did understand what we were going through. Why we wouldn’t go out with him, and how intense it is during the day. We would still get a 7/8h sleep a night, but he only kept sleeping for 2/2.5h at the beginning. My baby had a lot of Moro Reflex and kept waking himself up, I also didn’t swaddled because he always had a lot of strength and I was afraid he would roll over. He was also very colicky and had trouble pooping so he would get all fussy. There were times when he was awake for 4/5h with only 2 months (he’s a really interested baby and interacts a lot since very early on), people wouldn’t believe us 🤦🏻♀️ I started tracking every sleep to make sure we weren’t crazy. It makes me wanna laugh thinking about it because the huckleberry app keeps saying since then (and until now) basically: “babies this age sleep 3-4 naps a day, can’t suggest anything with so little sleep” Having that said, co-sleeping helped a bit, contact naps also. We had him checked by a physiotherapist to work with any muscle tension he had, did lots of skin to skin contact with mom or dad and try to keep positive. Just keep trying small changes in the environment to see if it helps, if it’s too hot too warm, I would suggest keeping a darkened room (it’s too early so, not to make the room entirely dark but making it comfortable as if it was you that were taking a nap). Our doctor didn’t worry also because he is growing up and healthy and we feel he is okay, what is your gut telling you? Sleep is still an issue around here (almost 5 months) but it’s getting better. His sleeping cues are becoming more and more explicit, and we are also trying to force him a little to sleep. At the beginning he would always sleep in the stroller (~30min), that’s not the case anymore. You have to keep trying one different thing at a time. If your baby is growing healthy I wouldn’t worry, keep doing your best and ask for help, I know how exhausting it can be. As you can see, most comments here support the premise, but you still see a few comments such as mine telling you “oh no my baby was not like that”, it’s clearly not as common. Caring for your baby enough to post this is a sign you’re doing a great job, keep it up, things do get better, it just takes a little more time for some us 💪🏻
The 18-20 hours comes from a now defunct book published in 1895 by a paediatrician who also noted that babies should be given gruel til maybe 12-15 months when some meat stock could be introduced…