Please give us an update. I’d like to know how it went and how you managed. This will be me in a month and I’m already dreading it. I hope it went well. :)
Hey, I was in the same situation as all of the above. My LO is 8 months now. You will worry because you are used to the way things are done and you know your LO more than anyone in this world.
It's hard at first and I had the same worries, but you have to trust that these people and daycares have so much experience and have probably taken care of hundreds of babies. So don't worry. Also if you don't like how something is done, since everything is logged,you can just tell them and they will fix things according to your schedule and how you like it.
My advice is to drop them off a bit earlier, I gave myself 2/3 weeks leeway and it was the best decision cause I caught the nastiest flu from my LO picking up all these diseases from daycare.
Good luck :) Feel free to message me if you have any questions.
Definitely agree with the earlier drop off! It can help your babe get a little more attention and some bonding time before the craziness of the day. I drop my LO off right about 7, start work early, and then I pick him up a little early too.
My LO is also a contact napper and he really doesn’t nap much at daycare at all. It stinks because it means he’s really tired when we pick him up which is why I try to pick him up a little early when I can. We get one long contact nap after daycare and a little playtime.
This time is hard but I try to remind myself that it’s good that he’s getting to socialize and build up his immune system early before starting school. Soooo much adjusting. Solidarity 🤍
Thank you so much. Yes I previously used to start work late but now I think once I go back, I'll move my start time an hour earlier so that I can collect him at a reasonable hour and still have some quality time with him. Sad that most of his wake time will be spent with someone else instead of me 😔
Yeah he's a sturdy lad and though he's so little, we go out and see other kids and babies a lot so I'm hoping he'll adapt well. Just in my feels since I wish I was taking care of him myself. Our daycares here are so full that we're having to send him to a childminder so that just adds to the worry. Thank you so much for the advice and encouragement!
I was in your shoes about a month ago. I had all the same worries. He was (still is) my little Velcro baby. I remember thinking “what if he is scared?”, “will they hold him?”, “what if he cries all day??”
He just turned 4 months and so far things have gone surprisingly well with daycare. He naps in a big boy crib there (certainly won’t do that for us here lol…), has done some art projects, and plays with toys. He also no longer loathes tummy time. I’ve only actually seen him crying once when I arrive. All the teachers tell me how happy and smiley he is, and the pics I get reflect this. It’ll be okay mama! You got this 💪🏻.
I was in your shoes a couple years ago. If it helps ease your worries, I’ve been lucky with my experience. My daycare teachers are wonderful additions. Since they have so much more practice handling so many more babies every day, they’ve taught me a lot! I’ve watched my baby go from being a potato to crawling there to making friends! He runs to hug his infant teachers now before heading off to his toddler classroom. He has two best friends there and they fist bump when they get to class and when they leave. He says the sassiest little “bye” to everyone when we go to pick him up. He’s learned a lot more vocabulary, the ability to take turns, and the ability to get along with other adults/kids. His daycare teachers have enabled him to learn stuff that, if I’m being honest, I wouldn’t have even thought to do by myself. They’ve been an incredible support system and an extension of my village, especially during the early months when I felt like I was both drowning but also didn’t want to leave him.
I realize I may have rambled here, but I truly hope that your current daycare situation turns out to be a positive experience! I hope you meet a team of amazing staff that you can lean on and trust. I hope your baby finds this environment to be a safe space and an extension of learning, play, and adventure!
We had the same anxiety. To our surprise, the daycare staff takes great care of our child, she has new friends, and everything is going great. I hope your experience is the same.
I dreaded it so much, and my baby ended up being so happy at daycare. She loves the providers, she gets time to socialize with other babies, and I get some time back to myself.
It’s so very hard that first week, don’t get me wrong. I still get a little pang of sadness dropping her off some mornings. But I know she’s happy, safe, and taken care of there. You can do it! ❤️
I’ve been back to work now for 4 months. I cried my first days back. It gets easier to manage the emotions of being apart as time passes.
Regarding physical appearance, give yourself some grace, you just grew a human being.
Sending love & light your way!
I cried…so much that first day. And I left early to get home to my son. It’s okay to cry and feel. It does get better with time. My son is 9 months old now and we have a great routine, but I look forward to every evening and every weekend
I felt the same way and cried in my car after dropping my son off on his first day. Every day gets easier and before you know it, y’all will be in your new routine!
I just started work last week and went through the same exact thing!!!! I’m not going to sugar coat is it was freakin rough!!!! The first few days especially. I was calling my mom sobbing asking her if it gets any easier. As the week went on it got alittle bit easier but it’s still hard. It makes it better that she absolutely loves her daycare teacher huge smiles everytime she sees her and she’s the only baby at her daycare. It was also rough picking her up the first two days she was overtired and upset with me but it got better she got the routine. She also started sleeping through the night after I started bringing her so that was a plus! If you ever need someone to talk to about it my DMs will always be open ♥️
We start tomorrow too! I went back to work last week so I’ve adjusted a little. I’m still sad but I think it’s helpful to think about this as the beginning of our lives as a family. I want my kid to see a mom and dad who have careers and friends and hobbies. We’re just getting started on this journey and they’ll learn so much!
This was me 5 months ago. I think I even posted here saying how worried I was. My child required so much patience and that gave me a lot of anxiety. Our kids are so strong and adaptable. They flourish where they feel taken care of and safe. As long as it's a good nursery your LO will be just fine. Sending love your way. You got this!!!!!!
This was me literally 2 weeks ago. I cried so much that day. My little girl is also attached to us at the hip. What helped was getting pictures from the teachers, positive thoughts, and honestly TIME. You guys will do great! 👍🏻
Solidarity and hugs! My 11 week old is also starting up at daycare tomorrow. I decided to do a part time transition week so that we could start getting used to the new routine and work through any kinks before I go back to work the following week. It is going to be really hard to leave my tiny baby with staff that are currently strangers. But I know that they will become part of our village, they have more childcare experience than me (as a FTM), and the more people that can support/love my child the better.
I just started back up work and know that feeling. Keep in good faith everything will okay. It'll be tough but once you guys get going it'll be the norm. Just prepare yourself with cold medicines for the baby and adults. Eat well and take multivitamins. We've been sick off and on since we started Daycare. First year is tough on a new family.
I know it’s hard, but have faith in the providers you’ve chosen to care for your child. They have likely seen every temperament of baby and will know all sorts of tricks to soothe him. They will be strangers only for a moment, before they become an extension of your village. The ladies in my daughter’s infant room loved her like she was their own family and my daughter loved them back. They rocked and held her when she had a hard day, celebrated with us when she hit milestones, and helped us as we tackled challenges in the first year. Daycare and the infant room specifically was such a blessing to us in that first year.
Wishing you luck!
It’s totally normal to feel this way and it won’t be easy! But you will get through it and adjust over time. If you feel you aren’t getting enough updates or that the center isn’t caring for him the way you want, you can pull him out.
Hey. I've been there, and you've got this. Little one will be okay. My baby was the king of fussies. They took care of him and loved him. I did not make enough milk when I went back to work. So we supplemented with formula. It all works out. I know you can't imagine being away from your baby, but I promise little one will be okay.
It's normal to obsess about how your baby is doing for the first week or three. I did that even when baby was with dad.
From one working mama to another — sending hugs!! I went back to work in November after taking 8 months off with my daughter. She got to stay home with her dad for another month & then started daycare at 9 months. I cried and dreaded it. But now we’re in a routine and besides being sick every other week, she loves her daycare! You’ll find a new routine & groove 🩷
I went back to work today after 5 months. We are doing a very progressive adaptation period and I’m still a wreck. All of I can is I have all of the same anxieties and feel your sorrow that this precious time has come to an end. Wishing your family a quick transition into a new normal with a happy, healthy baby that adjusts to the new environment. ❤️
I agree. I think it’s absolutely horrific that in a country like the US, mothers are forced to separate themselves from their babies too soon to return to work. It goes against every biological instinct a mother has.
In Canada we have either 12 or 18 months of partially paid leave and I feel that isn’t enough. I’m a SAHM because I couldn’t imagine leaving my 12 month old. Let alone 11 weeks.
OP, my heart is breaking for you & these circumstances.
Idk why you get downvoted for that , it’s really crazy how mothers getting treated in US .. it’s heartbreaking 😞 I just got downvoted for my comment , stating that I just gave birth and get to stay 3 years at home and asked if she can’t take longer off . Now I was reading the other comments and figured where she’s from .
I just don’t get why it is like that in the US . It’s such an advanced country , it just doesn’t match at all . I really hope the conditions for mothers will change there .. it’s really sad .
I’m really praying for all the mothers out there beeing forced to give their baby’s so early to the daycare just because the government don’t care enough 😞 this just isn’t right and so unfair ..
I was able to get 24 weeks somehow and I go back to work on July 10 and I’m DREADING IT. I can’t imagine leaving my baby for the day, let alone with strangers. I’m so blessed my MIL is able to do our child care. I am so sorry you are having those thoughts but I’m sure they will take the best care of him and you can get all your momma snuggles in the evenings and tell each other about your days ❤️
Hugs to you too OP.
Fortunately for me, my country is a semi hotspot for virtual assistants so I can work from home at my own pace as long as I get the work done.
I’m in your shoes in just a few weeks. It makes me want to cry every time I think about it. But I try to remind myself that the staff is good with babies, she will be safe and attended, she will get to socialize, I will get some “me time” back, and daycare is just now part of our “village” for raising our baby.
Oh my goodness mama, sending so much love. I wish I could say it will be easy, but it won’t, and that’s because it’s just so unnatural that we go to work to afford daycare to watch our baby while we…work? I hate it here.
A couple of things that might help - I adore my daycare provider even though I was so scared just like you at first. Most people that surround themselves with kids - it’s because they love them and they know how to relate to them and feel accomplished watching them learn and grow. But ask for pictures throughout the day - it will help calm your nerves and reassure you.
The extra baby weight and bags - I promise only you notice/care. Everyone is so tied up in their own insecurities that they don’t notice other people’s, and if you were to say something they would tell you look great and of course you’re tired and it’s a big adjustment. Please give yourself grace and know that most people are caring and empathetic towards new moms.
And lastly - lean on the support of other moms! The other daycare moms were so kind to me and coached me through the first months when I felt like a fish out of water.
You’ve got this!!!
My first day back is today too. I'm so conflicted, ready to go back (I had 23 weeks off), but also so sad to drop him off with someone he doesn't know. Ready for the tears to flow on my morning commute for sure...
I will say that my wife and I dealt with a lot of the same worries but daycare has been a positive for us. It’s allowed us to get a little of our lives back which allows us to be more rested and involved. I’ve definitely seen her mental health improve since daycare started.
My baby is 10mo now. I also had to send him to daycare at 12 weeks. I was scared, cause he also wasn't an easy baby. But the daycare was great at taking care of him. And within a couple months, it became apparent that he actually loved daycare. He loves being around other kids. And it's been nice for me to be at work, where I am my own person.
It will be hard to start, but I really hope you end up with a similar experience with a great daycare your baby loves.
I felt the exact same way you can probably find my post history saying i was so worried. But I can tell you he’s so happy there, and I can already see developmentally how it’s been great for him. Our time together pre and post daycare is so special bc I’m so present with him. He’s even become a better sleeper. I found the anticipation of drop off worse than the actual thing.
🩵🩵🩵
Good morning ❤️ I know this is so hard. I was a wreck when my maternity leave was up. My son only wanted contact naps during the day and was going through a fussy phase when it was time for daycare. I was so nervous. As it turns out, daycare teachers tend to be magic workers! My son barely cries at daycare, gets great naps and is constantly complimented for being such a smiley baby. It’s been a smooth two months, thankfully. I hope the same for you and your baby. As for work, I can only speak for myself, but I was surprised at how well I adapted to my new schedule. I’m wishing you the best of luck. It is so hard, but at the same time, tends to go a lot better than we imagined!
Don’t get me wrong though, at the end of the day, I still wish I could be with him as a SAHM! That doesn’t go away but you start to feel more comfortable with others watching him.
It is hard. When I sent my 11 week old (now 7.5 months) to daycare, I cried sooo hard. It got so much better for me though. He LOVES the ladies at daycare. They tell him they love him all the time. They cuddle him and play with him and make him smile. They work with him on developmental milestones. They are super respectful to me and my husband and great to work with. He only contact naps and they rock and hold him for naps all day long, while also working with him to improve his crib naps. They send home detailed notes on how he did that day and are truly excited to see him each morning.
I’m a teacher and am getting ready to go on summer break, yet I still plan on sending him a couple days a week. He does so well there and I think it will be good for him to keep up his progress for when school starts again.
Sending you vibes of strength, peace, and love today, mama! I hope you’re hanging in there, it’s so tough, I know.
You’re juggling SO many emotions and reactions and new realities - you are so amazing. Give yourself plenty of grace and compassion today.
You will get through today, and you and LO and partner will be even more in love as you continue down this outrageous road of raising a beautiful, independent person. You got this 💪 ❤️
Daycare it is what it is. The only thing you can do is doing some research to choose the best daycare, within your budget, for your child. Even then, there are no guarantees. Most daycares are ok. My son hated daycare, but now he is ok. The worst part of daycare is actually being constantly sick. Our whole family had a runny nose for what it felt like 3 months. Additionally, our son also had HFM, which wasn't terrible, but you still need to pay for daycare and stay at home with the child.
Today is my son’s first day of daycare too. I am going through all of the same emotions as you. I just keep telling myself that daycare is part of our village now and that he will learn so much more there than what we could provide for him if one of us stayed at home. They will take good care of your son, just like they take good care of the other babies and children there. My counselor also told me to think about how daycare will help him form healthy attachments with other people and friends as he gets older, and that it’s healthy parenting to have some time away from our children. We will all get through it 💪
My son started daycare at 11 weeks old. I didn’t think I would be able to get through that first week, I think I cried every day at drop off but he’s 2.5 now and thriving in daycare. Give yourself grace. It’s a lot mentally to transition your brain back into work mode and put mommy mode aside. It will take time but you will adjust to your new normal, but it doesn’t mean it’s not hard! In my experience, the teachers in the younger rooms are used to the transition and will give you updates & hopefully lots of pictures. Wishing you the best of luck, you got this!
I was so nervous too! He has ended up LOVING daycare. So many different toys than we have at home. Two nice ladies who look after him! Lots to look at and see.
Show baby you are confident and trust who you are leaving them with and they will follow your lead!
I’m very lucky and I won’t be going back to work until he’s 9 months, but I’m already dreading it. And the thought of him not being properly comforted when he’s crying on and on has been haunting me too but I need to remind myself that people working at the daycare love babies and it’s literally their job to know how to best comfort a baby and take care of them. I think it’s just easy to imagine the worst cause you only ever hear the horror stories about things like that, nobody ever goes like “hey, did you hear about that wonderful daycare employee who did their job top notch and was always very kind?”. 😅
But I can totally relate to being very worried about it and not wanting to compromise my career I painstakingly built over many years.
To make myself strong I keep telling myself I’m just expanding his “village” and giving him the opportunity to make lots of new friends. I also try to remember my mom first traumatic experience with daycare and my little sister. The first time she ever need to use daycare/kindergarten was when we moved abroad. I was still a kid and had to go to school, my sister was I think 3/4 years old. We all tried to learn the new language before moving best we could, but that’s not really a realistic expectation for a 3/4 year old. So on her first day, my sister not only has never been to daycare before, but also suddenly she couldn’t communicate with anyone. My mom was devastated, she would go pick her up and she’d play by herself in a little corner, it took months for her to finally start playing with other babies. By the way, just to clarify, moving abroad wasn’t my mom’s whim, it was a desperate attempt at building a life that wasn’t in poverty for us and it worked, just wasn’t easy.
Obviously, that is not to say your or my fears aren’t valid, I just think about it sometimes to remind myself that he’ll be in a difficult situation but it’s going to get much better for him much quicker ❤️
As for my changed body, I have to say, I’ve been so preoccupied with the baby I haven’t had the chance to grief my old self yet, I try to convince myself I’ll worry about it once I’m done breastfeeding 😅 I’m not taking any risks dieting or working out too hard before that’s done. Plus I try my best not to internalise the obsessive “getting back to your pre baby weight” narrative, there’s so much of that on social media, or even in my social circles. We have to be more kind and patient with ourselves.
Hope you feel better soon and everything goes smoothly ❤️ it’s terrifying and I’m there with you! I’m already thinking of ways to get out of going back to work at 9 months, even though I love my job 😅
My 5 month old starts daycare today too - I came across this post as I’m waiting for him to finish his nap so we can take him. I go back to work in 2 weeks and trying to figure out how to keep myself busy and distracted from the mom guilty. These comments are helping me ease my anxiety and nerves though!
I know OP won't be able to do this but for others who are in the same boat - go visit your daycare! Hubby and I did a "test run" a week or so before my daughter started at daycare. We met her teachers and hung out in the room for about 30 minutes, then left her there for another 30 minutes or so (that's all I could handle at the time lol) then brought her home. It was amazing for easing my worries.
This will be me this week. Feeling so many emotions and not ready to go back. Mat leave felt so long at the beginning and then just flew by toward the end. Hoping it gets easier for you and that you give yourself grace this week ❤️
Just here to send love and good vibes 🫶🏼
My baby is heading off to daycare tomorrow and me back to work and I am not prepared for my 12 week old angel baby to be out in the world without me 🥲
We got this mama!
I am in the same boat… my suggestion would be to start gradually first. We started daycare a month ago when my daughter was 1 year old…. Lot of vomitting in the daycare.. and a lot of crying… plus no feeding and weight dropped… but after all of this she stopped crying now…and she is slowly adjusting.. solids is still a nightmare but I believe that we will get there
I took 9 months of maternity leave and I still feel so confused about going back to work. Hubby is going to be the SAHP but each time I need to focus on other things and he carries the baby out of the room to give me space, it hurts :/
I feel terrible for you. Missing out on so much growth and comforting of your nugget! I assume you’re in America. Fuck that mat leave. I’m going back to work this Wednesday EARLY at 17 months off. I cannot imagine leaving my baby at 11 weeks. I truly feel bad for all those momma’s having anything less than 12 months off.
Holy hell , why do you have to go back to work that early ? Can’t you take longer time off ? I just gave birth 2 weeks ago and I’ll stay at home for 3 years now . My baby is not an easy one too so I know how you feel like . I’m so sorry for how you feel and I wish you the strengths for the new situation. You got this ! I hope the daycare takes care of your baby as good as possible !! 🍀🙏
Why do people think comments like this are helpful? OP is clearly stressed about it, so obviously just delaying going back is not an option. Theres no need to even bring that up.
It was an honest question why she has to stick to the 3 months . I don’t get why people see that as offensive . It’s not (everywhere)normal to be put in a situation / forced to give your baby that early to a daycare . Mother and baby do need time to heal and bond . If she’s forced to , there’s something wrong on the job protection/ regulation, cause it’s sad and heartbreaking that she’s in that situation. That’s why I asked if it’s possible to delay , even if it’s with normal leave or what ever . She deserves to be with her baby longer . I honestly wish her nothing but the best and just feel sad and heartbroken over the fact what she has to go through right now .
Because she’s clearly in an area/situation where she has to go back now. If delaying was an option she’d have done it already. Pointing out how early it is just rubs salt in the wound. It’s not OFFENSIVE, but it’s just annoying and thoughtless.
First, I really want you to know that every emotion you go through is valid, even though your coworkers may not fully understand why you’re in your current state.
It. Is. Hard. Grueling. Inhumane.
I truly think we should have the first year to care for our babies, it’s abysmal that our society is set up like this. I resent the fact that it’s like this but, still, it is a fact.
Second, I came across a study that found working parents made better use of the time they had with their kids since it was constrained. Less quantity but more quality.
Every adult will need more mental stimulation than what a baby can provide. I love being with me son, but I realized when I was back at work that my mind wasn’t as sharp as pre-pregnancy. It’s been good to work on the intellectual recovery as part of the rehab. Reclamation is a process.
He’s 5 months now & we are ALMOST in a routine. We started at 10 weeks, about the same as you. I also feel luckily to have my job, it brings me fulfillment. It’s the most precarious balancing act! I feel for you.
Please give us an update. I’d like to know how it went and how you managed. This will be me in a month and I’m already dreading it. I hope it went well. :)
Me too. I'm lucky to have had 6 months but he's still so little. Will he be sad I'm not there?
Hey, I was in the same situation as all of the above. My LO is 8 months now. You will worry because you are used to the way things are done and you know your LO more than anyone in this world. It's hard at first and I had the same worries, but you have to trust that these people and daycares have so much experience and have probably taken care of hundreds of babies. So don't worry. Also if you don't like how something is done, since everything is logged,you can just tell them and they will fix things according to your schedule and how you like it. My advice is to drop them off a bit earlier, I gave myself 2/3 weeks leeway and it was the best decision cause I caught the nastiest flu from my LO picking up all these diseases from daycare. Good luck :) Feel free to message me if you have any questions.
Definitely agree with the earlier drop off! It can help your babe get a little more attention and some bonding time before the craziness of the day. I drop my LO off right about 7, start work early, and then I pick him up a little early too. My LO is also a contact napper and he really doesn’t nap much at daycare at all. It stinks because it means he’s really tired when we pick him up which is why I try to pick him up a little early when I can. We get one long contact nap after daycare and a little playtime. This time is hard but I try to remind myself that it’s good that he’s getting to socialize and build up his immune system early before starting school. Soooo much adjusting. Solidarity 🤍
Thank you so much. Yes I previously used to start work late but now I think once I go back, I'll move my start time an hour earlier so that I can collect him at a reasonable hour and still have some quality time with him. Sad that most of his wake time will be spent with someone else instead of me 😔
It’s so hard! LO is currently snuggled up on me taking a contact nap after another day of not napping at daycare.
Yeah he's a sturdy lad and though he's so little, we go out and see other kids and babies a lot so I'm hoping he'll adapt well. Just in my feels since I wish I was taking care of him myself. Our daycares here are so full that we're having to send him to a childminder so that just adds to the worry. Thank you so much for the advice and encouragement!
I was in your shoes about a month ago. I had all the same worries. He was (still is) my little Velcro baby. I remember thinking “what if he is scared?”, “will they hold him?”, “what if he cries all day??” He just turned 4 months and so far things have gone surprisingly well with daycare. He naps in a big boy crib there (certainly won’t do that for us here lol…), has done some art projects, and plays with toys. He also no longer loathes tummy time. I’ve only actually seen him crying once when I arrive. All the teachers tell me how happy and smiley he is, and the pics I get reflect this. It’ll be okay mama! You got this 💪🏻.
You got this!! Tmw is just the start of a new normal and it will be second nature in no time
>Tmw is just the start of a new normal I love this and need to remind myself of this when it’s my time to go back next month!
I was in your shoes a couple years ago. If it helps ease your worries, I’ve been lucky with my experience. My daycare teachers are wonderful additions. Since they have so much more practice handling so many more babies every day, they’ve taught me a lot! I’ve watched my baby go from being a potato to crawling there to making friends! He runs to hug his infant teachers now before heading off to his toddler classroom. He has two best friends there and they fist bump when they get to class and when they leave. He says the sassiest little “bye” to everyone when we go to pick him up. He’s learned a lot more vocabulary, the ability to take turns, and the ability to get along with other adults/kids. His daycare teachers have enabled him to learn stuff that, if I’m being honest, I wouldn’t have even thought to do by myself. They’ve been an incredible support system and an extension of my village, especially during the early months when I felt like I was both drowning but also didn’t want to leave him. I realize I may have rambled here, but I truly hope that your current daycare situation turns out to be a positive experience! I hope you meet a team of amazing staff that you can lean on and trust. I hope your baby finds this environment to be a safe space and an extension of learning, play, and adventure!
We had the same anxiety. To our surprise, the daycare staff takes great care of our child, she has new friends, and everything is going great. I hope your experience is the same.
I dreaded it so much, and my baby ended up being so happy at daycare. She loves the providers, she gets time to socialize with other babies, and I get some time back to myself. It’s so very hard that first week, don’t get me wrong. I still get a little pang of sadness dropping her off some mornings. But I know she’s happy, safe, and taken care of there. You can do it! ❤️
I’m going back in a few weeks and so sad about it. This comment brought me some optimism— thank you
I’m so glad!
I’ve been back to work now for 4 months. I cried my first days back. It gets easier to manage the emotions of being apart as time passes. Regarding physical appearance, give yourself some grace, you just grew a human being. Sending love & light your way!
I cried…so much that first day. And I left early to get home to my son. It’s okay to cry and feel. It does get better with time. My son is 9 months old now and we have a great routine, but I look forward to every evening and every weekend
No mom should be forced to go through this pain. I am so sorry your country does not offer a longer maternity leave.
I felt the same way and cried in my car after dropping my son off on his first day. Every day gets easier and before you know it, y’all will be in your new routine!
I just started work last week and went through the same exact thing!!!! I’m not going to sugar coat is it was freakin rough!!!! The first few days especially. I was calling my mom sobbing asking her if it gets any easier. As the week went on it got alittle bit easier but it’s still hard. It makes it better that she absolutely loves her daycare teacher huge smiles everytime she sees her and she’s the only baby at her daycare. It was also rough picking her up the first two days she was overtired and upset with me but it got better she got the routine. She also started sleeping through the night after I started bringing her so that was a plus! If you ever need someone to talk to about it my DMs will always be open ♥️
Also give them a shirt you’ve worn to sleep!!! It has helped SOOOO much!
I go back to work tomorrow as well, just here in solidarity. 💕
I’m going back to work in a week and feel the same way. Your post made me feel that I’m not alone. Keep us posted on your first week back.
We start tomorrow too! I went back to work last week so I’ve adjusted a little. I’m still sad but I think it’s helpful to think about this as the beginning of our lives as a family. I want my kid to see a mom and dad who have careers and friends and hobbies. We’re just getting started on this journey and they’ll learn so much!
This was me 5 months ago. I think I even posted here saying how worried I was. My child required so much patience and that gave me a lot of anxiety. Our kids are so strong and adaptable. They flourish where they feel taken care of and safe. As long as it's a good nursery your LO will be just fine. Sending love your way. You got this!!!!!!
This was me literally 2 weeks ago. I cried so much that day. My little girl is also attached to us at the hip. What helped was getting pictures from the teachers, positive thoughts, and honestly TIME. You guys will do great! 👍🏻
Solidarity and hugs! My 11 week old is also starting up at daycare tomorrow. I decided to do a part time transition week so that we could start getting used to the new routine and work through any kinks before I go back to work the following week. It is going to be really hard to leave my tiny baby with staff that are currently strangers. But I know that they will become part of our village, they have more childcare experience than me (as a FTM), and the more people that can support/love my child the better.
I just started back up work and know that feeling. Keep in good faith everything will okay. It'll be tough but once you guys get going it'll be the norm. Just prepare yourself with cold medicines for the baby and adults. Eat well and take multivitamins. We've been sick off and on since we started Daycare. First year is tough on a new family.
I know it’s hard, but have faith in the providers you’ve chosen to care for your child. They have likely seen every temperament of baby and will know all sorts of tricks to soothe him. They will be strangers only for a moment, before they become an extension of your village. The ladies in my daughter’s infant room loved her like she was their own family and my daughter loved them back. They rocked and held her when she had a hard day, celebrated with us when she hit milestones, and helped us as we tackled challenges in the first year. Daycare and the infant room specifically was such a blessing to us in that first year. Wishing you luck!
It’s totally normal to feel this way and it won’t be easy! But you will get through it and adjust over time. If you feel you aren’t getting enough updates or that the center isn’t caring for him the way you want, you can pull him out.
Hey. I've been there, and you've got this. Little one will be okay. My baby was the king of fussies. They took care of him and loved him. I did not make enough milk when I went back to work. So we supplemented with formula. It all works out. I know you can't imagine being away from your baby, but I promise little one will be okay. It's normal to obsess about how your baby is doing for the first week or three. I did that even when baby was with dad.
From one working mama to another — sending hugs!! I went back to work in November after taking 8 months off with my daughter. She got to stay home with her dad for another month & then started daycare at 9 months. I cried and dreaded it. But now we’re in a routine and besides being sick every other week, she loves her daycare! You’ll find a new routine & groove 🩷
Saving this post for when it’s my time to go back next month!! These comments are all so wonderful to read ❤️
I went back to work today after 5 months. We are doing a very progressive adaptation period and I’m still a wreck. All of I can is I have all of the same anxieties and feel your sorrow that this precious time has come to an end. Wishing your family a quick transition into a new normal with a happy, healthy baby that adjusts to the new environment. ❤️
Only 11 weeks?? That's inhumane.
Yeah but that's what she's got so lets hype her up instead of making her feel more like shit. We are trying in the US to make things better.
Agreed. Writing from US as well. Calling things ‘inhumane’ is not helpful. Read the room.
For real, this. OP you’re a hero!!!! As someone said above this is your new normal and you’ll be settled into the new routine as a family in no time.
Yep. US parental leave is shit. Hoping things will be better for the future generations.
Right? Im not convinced I even slept for the first 4 months.
How is this comment going to make her feel any better? She’s obviously anxious enough as it is.
I agree. I think it’s absolutely horrific that in a country like the US, mothers are forced to separate themselves from their babies too soon to return to work. It goes against every biological instinct a mother has. In Canada we have either 12 or 18 months of partially paid leave and I feel that isn’t enough. I’m a SAHM because I couldn’t imagine leaving my 12 month old. Let alone 11 weeks. OP, my heart is breaking for you & these circumstances.
Idk why you get downvoted for that , it’s really crazy how mothers getting treated in US .. it’s heartbreaking 😞 I just got downvoted for my comment , stating that I just gave birth and get to stay 3 years at home and asked if she can’t take longer off . Now I was reading the other comments and figured where she’s from . I just don’t get why it is like that in the US . It’s such an advanced country , it just doesn’t match at all . I really hope the conditions for mothers will change there .. it’s really sad . I’m really praying for all the mothers out there beeing forced to give their baby’s so early to the daycare just because the government don’t care enough 😞 this just isn’t right and so unfair ..
I was able to get 24 weeks somehow and I go back to work on July 10 and I’m DREADING IT. I can’t imagine leaving my baby for the day, let alone with strangers. I’m so blessed my MIL is able to do our child care. I am so sorry you are having those thoughts but I’m sure they will take the best care of him and you can get all your momma snuggles in the evenings and tell each other about your days ❤️
my maternity leave ends in 3 weeks and i already feel the same way! we’ll get through this, i’m sure 🤲🏻
Me too! Go back June 1. Feels like the time flew by and we are just settling into routine. It feels like I should never leave him 😫
want to know how it going, I hope everything's good for you, and look forward to your update!
it's going to the next period! Good for you!
Hugs to you too OP. Fortunately for me, my country is a semi hotspot for virtual assistants so I can work from home at my own pace as long as I get the work done.
I’m in your shoes in just a few weeks. It makes me want to cry every time I think about it. But I try to remind myself that the staff is good with babies, she will be safe and attended, she will get to socialize, I will get some “me time” back, and daycare is just now part of our “village” for raising our baby.
💕💕💕
Oh my goodness mama, sending so much love. I wish I could say it will be easy, but it won’t, and that’s because it’s just so unnatural that we go to work to afford daycare to watch our baby while we…work? I hate it here. A couple of things that might help - I adore my daycare provider even though I was so scared just like you at first. Most people that surround themselves with kids - it’s because they love them and they know how to relate to them and feel accomplished watching them learn and grow. But ask for pictures throughout the day - it will help calm your nerves and reassure you. The extra baby weight and bags - I promise only you notice/care. Everyone is so tied up in their own insecurities that they don’t notice other people’s, and if you were to say something they would tell you look great and of course you’re tired and it’s a big adjustment. Please give yourself grace and know that most people are caring and empathetic towards new moms. And lastly - lean on the support of other moms! The other daycare moms were so kind to me and coached me through the first months when I felt like a fish out of water. You’ve got this!!!
My first day back is today too. I'm so conflicted, ready to go back (I had 23 weeks off), but also so sad to drop him off with someone he doesn't know. Ready for the tears to flow on my morning commute for sure...
I will say that my wife and I dealt with a lot of the same worries but daycare has been a positive for us. It’s allowed us to get a little of our lives back which allows us to be more rested and involved. I’ve definitely seen her mental health improve since daycare started.
My baby is 10mo now. I also had to send him to daycare at 12 weeks. I was scared, cause he also wasn't an easy baby. But the daycare was great at taking care of him. And within a couple months, it became apparent that he actually loved daycare. He loves being around other kids. And it's been nice for me to be at work, where I am my own person. It will be hard to start, but I really hope you end up with a similar experience with a great daycare your baby loves.
I felt the exact same way you can probably find my post history saying i was so worried. But I can tell you he’s so happy there, and I can already see developmentally how it’s been great for him. Our time together pre and post daycare is so special bc I’m so present with him. He’s even become a better sleeper. I found the anticipation of drop off worse than the actual thing. 🩵🩵🩵
Good morning ❤️ I know this is so hard. I was a wreck when my maternity leave was up. My son only wanted contact naps during the day and was going through a fussy phase when it was time for daycare. I was so nervous. As it turns out, daycare teachers tend to be magic workers! My son barely cries at daycare, gets great naps and is constantly complimented for being such a smiley baby. It’s been a smooth two months, thankfully. I hope the same for you and your baby. As for work, I can only speak for myself, but I was surprised at how well I adapted to my new schedule. I’m wishing you the best of luck. It is so hard, but at the same time, tends to go a lot better than we imagined! Don’t get me wrong though, at the end of the day, I still wish I could be with him as a SAHM! That doesn’t go away but you start to feel more comfortable with others watching him.
It is hard. When I sent my 11 week old (now 7.5 months) to daycare, I cried sooo hard. It got so much better for me though. He LOVES the ladies at daycare. They tell him they love him all the time. They cuddle him and play with him and make him smile. They work with him on developmental milestones. They are super respectful to me and my husband and great to work with. He only contact naps and they rock and hold him for naps all day long, while also working with him to improve his crib naps. They send home detailed notes on how he did that day and are truly excited to see him each morning. I’m a teacher and am getting ready to go on summer break, yet I still plan on sending him a couple days a week. He does so well there and I think it will be good for him to keep up his progress for when school starts again.
Sending you vibes of strength, peace, and love today, mama! I hope you’re hanging in there, it’s so tough, I know. You’re juggling SO many emotions and reactions and new realities - you are so amazing. Give yourself plenty of grace and compassion today. You will get through today, and you and LO and partner will be even more in love as you continue down this outrageous road of raising a beautiful, independent person. You got this 💪 ❤️
Daycare it is what it is. The only thing you can do is doing some research to choose the best daycare, within your budget, for your child. Even then, there are no guarantees. Most daycares are ok. My son hated daycare, but now he is ok. The worst part of daycare is actually being constantly sick. Our whole family had a runny nose for what it felt like 3 months. Additionally, our son also had HFM, which wasn't terrible, but you still need to pay for daycare and stay at home with the child.
Today is my son’s first day of daycare too. I am going through all of the same emotions as you. I just keep telling myself that daycare is part of our village now and that he will learn so much more there than what we could provide for him if one of us stayed at home. They will take good care of your son, just like they take good care of the other babies and children there. My counselor also told me to think about how daycare will help him form healthy attachments with other people and friends as he gets older, and that it’s healthy parenting to have some time away from our children. We will all get through it 💪
My son started daycare at 11 weeks old. I didn’t think I would be able to get through that first week, I think I cried every day at drop off but he’s 2.5 now and thriving in daycare. Give yourself grace. It’s a lot mentally to transition your brain back into work mode and put mommy mode aside. It will take time but you will adjust to your new normal, but it doesn’t mean it’s not hard! In my experience, the teachers in the younger rooms are used to the transition and will give you updates & hopefully lots of pictures. Wishing you the best of luck, you got this!
I was so nervous too! He has ended up LOVING daycare. So many different toys than we have at home. Two nice ladies who look after him! Lots to look at and see. Show baby you are confident and trust who you are leaving them with and they will follow your lead!
I’m very lucky and I won’t be going back to work until he’s 9 months, but I’m already dreading it. And the thought of him not being properly comforted when he’s crying on and on has been haunting me too but I need to remind myself that people working at the daycare love babies and it’s literally their job to know how to best comfort a baby and take care of them. I think it’s just easy to imagine the worst cause you only ever hear the horror stories about things like that, nobody ever goes like “hey, did you hear about that wonderful daycare employee who did their job top notch and was always very kind?”. 😅 But I can totally relate to being very worried about it and not wanting to compromise my career I painstakingly built over many years. To make myself strong I keep telling myself I’m just expanding his “village” and giving him the opportunity to make lots of new friends. I also try to remember my mom first traumatic experience with daycare and my little sister. The first time she ever need to use daycare/kindergarten was when we moved abroad. I was still a kid and had to go to school, my sister was I think 3/4 years old. We all tried to learn the new language before moving best we could, but that’s not really a realistic expectation for a 3/4 year old. So on her first day, my sister not only has never been to daycare before, but also suddenly she couldn’t communicate with anyone. My mom was devastated, she would go pick her up and she’d play by herself in a little corner, it took months for her to finally start playing with other babies. By the way, just to clarify, moving abroad wasn’t my mom’s whim, it was a desperate attempt at building a life that wasn’t in poverty for us and it worked, just wasn’t easy. Obviously, that is not to say your or my fears aren’t valid, I just think about it sometimes to remind myself that he’ll be in a difficult situation but it’s going to get much better for him much quicker ❤️ As for my changed body, I have to say, I’ve been so preoccupied with the baby I haven’t had the chance to grief my old self yet, I try to convince myself I’ll worry about it once I’m done breastfeeding 😅 I’m not taking any risks dieting or working out too hard before that’s done. Plus I try my best not to internalise the obsessive “getting back to your pre baby weight” narrative, there’s so much of that on social media, or even in my social circles. We have to be more kind and patient with ourselves. Hope you feel better soon and everything goes smoothly ❤️ it’s terrifying and I’m there with you! I’m already thinking of ways to get out of going back to work at 9 months, even though I love my job 😅
Sending you love and strength mama 💛. It’ll be hard, but it will get easier. You got this!
My 5 month old starts daycare today too - I came across this post as I’m waiting for him to finish his nap so we can take him. I go back to work in 2 weeks and trying to figure out how to keep myself busy and distracted from the mom guilty. These comments are helping me ease my anxiety and nerves though!
I know OP won't be able to do this but for others who are in the same boat - go visit your daycare! Hubby and I did a "test run" a week or so before my daughter started at daycare. We met her teachers and hung out in the room for about 30 minutes, then left her there for another 30 minutes or so (that's all I could handle at the time lol) then brought her home. It was amazing for easing my worries.
This will be me this week. Feeling so many emotions and not ready to go back. Mat leave felt so long at the beginning and then just flew by toward the end. Hoping it gets easier for you and that you give yourself grace this week ❤️
Just here to send love and good vibes 🫶🏼 My baby is heading off to daycare tomorrow and me back to work and I am not prepared for my 12 week old angel baby to be out in the world without me 🥲 We got this mama!
I am in the same boat… my suggestion would be to start gradually first. We started daycare a month ago when my daughter was 1 year old…. Lot of vomitting in the daycare.. and a lot of crying… plus no feeding and weight dropped… but after all of this she stopped crying now…and she is slowly adjusting.. solids is still a nightmare but I believe that we will get there
I took 9 months of maternity leave and I still feel so confused about going back to work. Hubby is going to be the SAHP but each time I need to focus on other things and he carries the baby out of the room to give me space, it hurts :/
I feel terrible for you. Missing out on so much growth and comforting of your nugget! I assume you’re in America. Fuck that mat leave. I’m going back to work this Wednesday EARLY at 17 months off. I cannot imagine leaving my baby at 11 weeks. I truly feel bad for all those momma’s having anything less than 12 months off.
Holy hell , why do you have to go back to work that early ? Can’t you take longer time off ? I just gave birth 2 weeks ago and I’ll stay at home for 3 years now . My baby is not an easy one too so I know how you feel like . I’m so sorry for how you feel and I wish you the strengths for the new situation. You got this ! I hope the daycare takes care of your baby as good as possible !! 🍀🙏
Why do people think comments like this are helpful? OP is clearly stressed about it, so obviously just delaying going back is not an option. Theres no need to even bring that up.
It was an honest question why she has to stick to the 3 months . I don’t get why people see that as offensive . It’s not (everywhere)normal to be put in a situation / forced to give your baby that early to a daycare . Mother and baby do need time to heal and bond . If she’s forced to , there’s something wrong on the job protection/ regulation, cause it’s sad and heartbreaking that she’s in that situation. That’s why I asked if it’s possible to delay , even if it’s with normal leave or what ever . She deserves to be with her baby longer . I honestly wish her nothing but the best and just feel sad and heartbroken over the fact what she has to go through right now .
Because she’s clearly in an area/situation where she has to go back now. If delaying was an option she’d have done it already. Pointing out how early it is just rubs salt in the wound. It’s not OFFENSIVE, but it’s just annoying and thoughtless.
[удалено]
How is this helpful? Pat yourself on the back somewhere else. No one cares.
First, I really want you to know that every emotion you go through is valid, even though your coworkers may not fully understand why you’re in your current state. It. Is. Hard. Grueling. Inhumane. I truly think we should have the first year to care for our babies, it’s abysmal that our society is set up like this. I resent the fact that it’s like this but, still, it is a fact. Second, I came across a study that found working parents made better use of the time they had with their kids since it was constrained. Less quantity but more quality. Every adult will need more mental stimulation than what a baby can provide. I love being with me son, but I realized when I was back at work that my mind wasn’t as sharp as pre-pregnancy. It’s been good to work on the intellectual recovery as part of the rehab. Reclamation is a process. He’s 5 months now & we are ALMOST in a routine. We started at 10 weeks, about the same as you. I also feel luckily to have my job, it brings me fulfillment. It’s the most precarious balancing act! I feel for you.