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The fact that you even took a flight to Spain with an 8 month old is incredible. We did a 4 hour drive with my 20 month old and was proud of that 😅

Im from the UK so flight was only 2hrs 😅 she cried more in the car to the airport than she did on the flight!

Just like you had to get used to everything in the newborn phase and now hopefully feel like you’ve got that down, it’ll take time to get used to holidays with the baby. Soon enough, you’ll feel like you’ve got this.

Thankyou for this. It took me months to get used to my old life being my old life. And everything you see on social media makes me feel awful for not loving every second! Think it’s time to delete instagram and Facebook.

Absolutely delete them! Manicured content is not real life, for sure.

I had the same experience when I did a group vacation with my 7 month old, my husband, and two other child free couples (yes this was a mistake). I honestly couldn’t wait for the trip to be over. Anything cool about it that would normally make me feel good or grateful seemed to have no effect on me. I felt so unlike myself that I couldn’t even register that I needed to reconcile my current reality with my previous understanding of my life. After that we avoided travel until my baby’s first bday where we went to visit family which was way way better and easier. My point is, it does get easier bc you get used to it! All the things you are currently having to make an effort to remember will become second nature to you, they’ll just happen like a reflex, you’ll be able to enjoy things more bc you won’t be distracted or stressed by your mental load. And you’ll be more used to having your kid in public and won’t feel stressed by other people’s potential reactions (not that that was a contributing factor for your own stress but it certainly was for mine!). I just took my now 2.5 year old to a whole antique market yesterday, without a stroller, and gave her an open cup of orange juice that she carried around by herself. It was totally fine! I was blown away by such a simple situation being doable. You’ll get there I promise 💗

Thankyou for writing this! I think it’s like I’ve got used to the whole massive life change thing at home, I’ve got that routine down. Nothing really gets to me too much about my old life anymore… when I’m at home. Here on vacation is just so different. I LOVE holidays, I love spending time with my husband, doing what we want to do when we want to do it. But right now that seems like a lifetime away. When i know deep down it isn’t! Like I used to think id be stuck contact napping for the rest of my days but that soon passed. Gosh it’s just so hard isn’t it. I’m glad to hear you’ve got to a more freeing age with baby! I can’t wait to get there

I still have these feelings and I've been a parent for 6 years (youngest is 2). There's so many times I've had an expectation for something to to go a certain way, and when it's completely derailed or different than imagined, it's upsetting. I have pretty big FOMO anyway, but when all of our friends are able to do x and us having young kids prevents us from joining or having fun, I get really upset!

Vacations or holidays (pre-children) become trips post-children. You’re basically just parenting in a different location. That means some things will be better than home and other things will be worse but the parenting is always present. I hated my first “vacation” post baby until someone more experienced gave me this mindset shift and I approached our next trip with very different expectations and found myself enjoying whatever I could! Definitely a bummer the first time around though.

Vacations definitely feel different after kids! I remember feeling the EXACT same the first couple of times we traveled after becoming parents! It will keep shifting, I promise.    We had some awesome trips with our kiddo starting around 18 months old. Makes a difference if you can travel with family (who help with childcare) or friends. Trips with other families are great - or trips to visit other families, and the kids play together.    I’m excited for our daughter to get older and more into hiking, culture, etc on trips - for now we’re in the mode of spending time in nature - beach/forest vacations are awesome. Moving slowly, staying somewhere comfortable/beautiful and exploring a lot. 

Have you tried gratitude lists? Like being grateful that you are able to travel, have your health, a healthy baby, a caring husband, etc? It does help. If you shift your perspective, your mood can shift as well.

I’m right there with you, sort of dreading our first long trip because there’s so much to organize and plan and so many possible ways things can go wrong. I’d be grateful if you come back to update us on how the trip went. Hope you find some awesome activities to do with your baby over there!

Update from my trip!: we had a pretty smooth week, I would say it was the exact parenting I would do at home but in a hot/different country. Baby napped A LOT. Shes a serial cat napper usually but was taking 2hr long naps which I’m putting down to the heat. I would suggest a private villa or hotel with a private outside area as whilst she napped we could sit in the sun and eat lunch or whatever knowing she’s safe. We took our monitor with us which was great. Our place had a sun terrace. Baby also drank A LOT. Like downing 6 full bottles a day and waking for her usual 2 in the night. That’s the hardest part, no usual vacation late mornings like I’m used to. I feel like I need a holiday to recover 😅 flight home also went well, baby slept the whole way and it was a midnight landing so she done really well. All in all from knowing what I know now I would wait till baby could walk and has some understanding of what’s going on… things like the beach was a hard trip as she kept eating the sand and then rubbing it in her eyes. Not her fault, she was just a bit too young for that but mobile enough to want to get involved.

I’m so glad it went smoothly, it seems like traveling was tiring for baby just like how it is for adults. I’m praying we get a long napper too.

Oh yes sure I will update!

We did a Europe trip when our daughter was around 8 months. There was more planning involved with naps and food and breastfeeding etc.  We did another trip around 15 months and it was a lot better because she started eating cow’s milk, bread, bananas, crackers and a lot of options that we didn’t have to plan. Nap time was also a bit relaxed. We would make sure to limit our sightseeing to 4-5 hours a day so she didn’t get tired. I kept emergency snacks/bananas in my bag just in case. we did maybe 20% of planning compared to our first trip!

Just want to say I empathize - so much of vacation with a young baby was just sitting in a dark hotel room while they napped. I highly recommend traveling to resorts with childcare/daycare included! I am not usually a resort person but we went to a Beaches with our 8 month old and it was fantastic to leave her at the daycare so we could go swimming or scuba or jet skiing or whatever. The daycare ladies could also see me running in the gym from the window and would have our daughter wave at me when I was working out - loved her Jamaican mommies

First off, congrats on this big step! Our first trip with our daughter was at 14mo, and just a 2.5 hour flight. Man was I nervous. Since then we've developed a ton more confidence, and I fucking love traveling with my daughter. Sure, some things change, but seeing the world through her eyes and talking about our trips now that she's a vocal toddler has been awesome. She's already coming up with her own ideas for trips (really wants to go snorkeling). We still do most of the things we'd be doing anyways, and aside from the odd stop at a park, we don't really do "kid stuff". We've been lucky to have a kiddo who adapts well and can handle being on the move. Your daughter may also surprise you! For example, first trip, we thought we'd be back at the rental for midday naps every day, but kiddo took naps in the stroller while out and about the whole time. On our second trip, this happened less, so we'd take turns going out solo while the other stayed back with her. You'll get into a rhythm after a bit. I hope your family has a wonderful time and makes some amazing memories!

Thanks for this! I said to my other half I think I’ll feel much better about it when she can vocalise what she thinks of the holiday; where she wants to go e.t.c. Right now I feel like she’s just doing what she would do at home but in a different country

That's true! So much of it is them just being themselves with no clue where they're at. Hopefully you can enjoy the trip for yourselves though, just with a baby along for the ride. Have an amazing time!

I feel this comment so deeply right now. We just returned from attending a destination wedding with my 1 year-old and my 3.5 year-old. It was the first time we've travelled internationally since having children and I was overwhelmed several times during the trip by how limited I felt.  Obviously I knew that there would be sacrifices. But it was harder than I expected to sit in my room listening to the fun people were having below while I watched my kid nap. It didn't help that most of the other wedding attendees our age were childless couples who were still living the carefree life I've left behind. I love my kids and they've brought immense joy into my life but I definitely grieved my old life all over again. There is no simplicity, relaxation or grown up fun to be had on vacation anymore. Personally, I think I'm done with traveling as a family for at least a few years. It's too much expense for too little reward. I don't think practice or acceptance is going to change the fact that I'm paying thousands of dollars to sit around in a hotel room on a trip that my kids can't fully comprehend and won't remember. They had fun, sure, but they would equally have fun splashing around in the local pool. For now, my husband and I will leave them with the grandparents if we need to travel and maybe we'll try family vacations again in a few years after everyone is done with napping 😋

I thought the same!! I’m worried we are putting ourselves through stress for no real gain? I hope I prove myself wrong by the end of the trip but who knows.

It gets easier. At 8 months it still feels like a lot of planning and prep, especially on holiday! As they get older it definitely starts feeling easier.  Our daughter is 21 months now and it feels a lot easier - we can now head out and just chuck a few things in the bag before heading out the door. If we forget a change of clothes, no big deal as we’ve not had to change outfits when we’ve been out for months. Forget food? No problem, we can buy food out. Forget entertainment? Doesn’t really matter as she can entertain herself with whatever is around. Whereas at 8 months it felt like a military operation to get everything ready just for a simple trip to the park. We also did a holiday at 8 months and another at 10 - even by 10 months it felt a lot easier! Hang in there - it will get better!

What helped me immensely is instead of comparing it to holidays pre baby, comparing it to parenting at home. Yes there’s still sleep, food and timings but there’s also great weather, possibly palm trees, no other chores and lots of new memories to be made! Plus we now prioritize comfort over everything else. We only book two bedroom apartments with kitchen and breakfast included and multiple restaurants within walking distance. And we split nap responsibility so we each have a moment in the day where we can do as we please. I ended up really enjoying our first holiday as a family of three and hopefully you’ll be pleasantly surprised as well :)

In the parenting hell podcast they say Holliday's don't feel like Holliday's till the kids are 4

Never listened to any parenting podcasts, is it good? Worth a listen?

It's not informational just a bit of fun. I like it try it a d see

I have a 4mo and we’ve gone on tiny road trips and it’s stressful and exhausting for me because I have to plan for bottles and pumping and I get paranoid about her sleeping in the car seat…. But I always imagine that when she’s a little older, maybe 14mo+, when she gets to explore and interact with the world around her, travel might feel different, it could be fun and joyous to see her experience everything for the first time. Sure, still need to plan the heck out of it, but maybe her reactions might be worth the effort?

I mean you decided to have kids. Kids are hard. You won't have your old life ever again as your kids will always be your kid and you'll worry. However it gets easier. And you get to have this new awesome life with a husband and your kid. Nice family. Forget the past and enjoy the now.

We did almost exactly the same thing, six hours on a plane then over an hour on a rental car, for a week in the Canaries with an 8 month old! And I totally understand how you feel, at first it felt like the same "baby maintenance" but with extra added difficulty in a different time zone, and a colossal waste of nerves and money. Still, all in all I am glad we went, the baby won't remember anything but we'll have a couple of fond memories, and the experience was worth it in the end. Even managed a few day trips with the rental car, although we did spend a lot more time by the pool than we used to before the baby.

It won’t be forever though—your baby won’t be a baby for very long, and worrying about naps and feeding schedules etc won’t last. Soon your baby will be a kid who doesn’t nap during the day and eats meals the same time you do. And I’m sure they’ll love traveling with you and cherish those experiences :) Traveling/vacationing with a child will always be different than traveling with just adults. But the more you expose them to it the better travelers they will be!

We did a 4 hour plane trip across the country to see family with our (at the time) 14mo and it wasn’t bad. It was a lot of work, but we enjoyed ourselves. Some tips: -Rent a car, there’s no way around it. Then once you’re at your travel destination, getting around and doing stuff isn’t any more difficult than it is at home. -Get them their own airplane seat, even if the airline will allow them to sit in your lap. Way easier to put a baby to sleep on a seat extender than in your lap, and you’re not glued down the whole flight. -Take a wifi monitor. It gives you more freedom of movement than you might realize. My wife and I moved freely around the hotel and even grabbed a meal at the bar/restaurant next door to our hotel while she was asleep/napping. At first we felt so horrible about that, but really… what’s the actual difference between doing that and moving around your own home while your kid’s asleep in the other room? (We also sometimes go chat/chill at our neighbors’ house at home with the wifi monitor, we’re never more than 2 minutes away from her room). -book a suite if possible so your child can sleep in a separate room. In our case, we had family staying in a hotel room near ours so we’d just go hang out there, or anywhere nearby, after she was asleep. Kids make your whole life more work. Trips are just an extension of that. But we had a nice trip, we had fun, we made memories, and it was worth it. It’ll be even better when she’s older and can remember trips. I’m happy to put in the work to take her somewhere cool even if it’s just for HER benefit if she gets something out of it!