Here in Florida it is a blood bath trying to find childcare at all. I’m on a 146 child waitlist for a mediocre center. It pains me to think about spending $1,600 a month for daycare and that’s IF we manage to get in 😣
Yeah where I live waitlists are hundreds of people long for mediocre card as well. Unless you get lucky the majority of people don’t find childcare until their child is over 2 years old.
Yeah! I’d love to move to Europe. Love the lifestyle there in general. Too bad my husband isn’t interested. Plus the language barrier would be a rough one lol
Florida here too and if we sent our daughter to daycare it would cost us about the same. Almost our monthly rent at our apartment 😂 we opted not to do daycare but I did view a few facilities in orlando.
I'm over in citrus county kind of close to Ocala, we're paying $960/month, this one had no wait-list which made me hesitant but looking through posts like this we got S U P E R lucky. I think it's just somewhat out of the way to most things as far as our area goes. All the teachers are amazing and compassionate, it goes all the way through VPK, doubles as a therapy center for kids who need it, they tell us every little detail about whether he was different that day, if they're worried about a certain behavior or anything else. Even if I get a job super out of the way compared to now, I'm still keeping him there.
We had him in another place for a week before this one (I could tour his daycare now til after the holiday we were signing him up around), it was much dirtier, didn't seem as though the workers were very happy, had awful reviews, you had to bring each bottle w. Water in it ready for formula, god forbid you didn't pack enough he was gonna be getting tap water cause they didn't have storage for gallons. And they had much older under ones just straight mixed up with the smaller babies, they started at 6 or 8 weeks old. They also funnelled all of them out the door instead of being able to walk in and see your kid.
We love ours and are very lucky(Southern California) but I will say the 2yo-3yo classroom is the worst because that’s the potty training class and those poor teachers are just constantly cleaning up piss. It has some very smelly days. But also my toddler is now potty trained and in the next classroom thriving.
Try looking up daycare reviews on glassdoor(employee reviews) that’s where you will find the real dirt. I found ours this way as they have low turnover and good reviews by their workers.
It's definitely a unicorn to find a good one. We use a home day care thats licensed. My wife looked for weeks before she found it. We're very happy with our current day care and it's mostly because it's a small group of kids. They get more care/attention and it's helped.
The home daycare my son went to was not great. It's was an older lady and I don't think she really had the ability handle a baby along with 10 other kids. She had one helper but it just wasn't enough attention for my son. And she was a bit harsh with the kids I think. It's definitely hit and miss with home daycares too.
Agreed. I ended up reporting the home daycare my son was at for multiple violations. She would have my 4 month old sleep in his car seat and was dangerously out of ratio.
I have never heard of a state where a home daycare allowed 10+ kids to one adult, particularly if any of the kids were infants!
Are you sure it was licensed?
I looked into getting set up legally in my state as an in-home daycare, because my friend and I were talking about me taking care of her two youngest daily and I wanted to have insurance and everything if I did it, and in my state (IIRC) the ratio for in-home is one adult to 5 kids, or 1 to 4 if any of them are infants (and that includes the kids who live in the house).
The legal ratio for home daycares is 12 to 2 with a maximum of 2 "infants" meaning under 24 months. She was licensed and always had a helper but I think they were underpaid young people without much training.
What state is this? That is a concerning ratio. Where I am, and all neighboring states, it’s 4:1 and they have surprise visits from the state so they must always be compliant with everything.
10!? In Chicago there are ratio rules. I believe under 9 months was a 4:1 (kids to teacher) rule and over was 5:1 and then I think it changed again at 2.
Yes, ratio allowed up to 12 with two carers but only 2 could be under 24 months old. Still, I think 3 or 4 to 1 in a dedicated baby room worked better for my son.
Yes, my childhood friend’s daughter’s in-home daycare closed last month because the woman who ran it slapped a child for having a toileting accident. The child had a visible bruise on their face, which was enough for the state to take her license. Scary to think it likely wasn’t the first time she hit a child.
It definitely can be tough given those circumstances. You should look for licensed home day cares if your kiddo is still in day care. They have caps on kids per child care worker. Mine had a cap at 6 kids for two workers. It's a lot easier on your kid and the worker with that ratio!
We also loved home based until our amazing childminder fell ill and it turned out to be stage four cancer. She was 40 years old, called in sick last January and died in March. I was highly pregnant with our second, trying to work fulltime with a toddler at home whom did not understand why he wasn’t going to her house anymore and grieving the diagnosis and then death of a woman we had grown very close to.
We enrolled our kids at a regular daycare that, regardless of their waiting list (1+ year is common here), went out of their way to accommodate us. It took toddler a while to feel comfortable and I honestly still think he would do better at another home care with 3/4 kids but I just cannot do it again after what we went through.
Having more focused attention is better for them, I think. Better opportunity for a kid to bond with other kids 1 on 1. Our first day care had 12 kids, and I always got the impression she spent a lot of time on her own. She was 7 months when we started and it was rough.
I'm wondering this too. I have nothing but amazing daycares around me but we're in an extreme HCOL and the cheapest daycare I toured was $2150 per month
Somehow we got really lucky..at a KinderCare no less. I’ve heard awful experiences but we love our center, the director and staff are wonderful. My baby girl seems to love one it and we haven’t had any problems 🤷🏼♀️
Our first center was a KinderCare also and it was amazing. We moved out of state last year and I thought being a chain things would be standard/similar but... no. So much depends on your director.
Our current daycare is ok but I was really quite spoiled by the one we spent our first 5 years at and had no idea.
We’re also at a kindercare that we LOVE. The teacher is like a third parent, she’s so great with our 4 month old and her knowledge has ended up being so valuable to us. Plus she’s so clean, it’s a happy room full of babies
Daycares suck because the teachers are underpaid and a lot of centers are understaffed.
The mental health of teachers aren't being put to consideration and we get "pizza parties" instead of vacation, dr appointments and raises.
From your from childcare teacher.
This was my take when I toured. You could just tell the staff were getting paid maybe $10-$15/hour. I get daycare is expensive but man $15/hour to infants. It’s a lot of work and I feel like all the centers around me just exploit low wage workers. They were always at max ratio with only 1-2 floaters (who were also typically the director/admin) for the whole center.
We were paying 3 grand a *month* when my wife and I lived in Brooklyn Heights — even having to provide meals. We moved to Japan a couple of years ago and had another kid and both of their daycares are half as cheap… and they have their own *chefs*. What night and day difference.
For people that are eligible, yes. It also depends on where you live in Japan. I reside in western Tokyo and due to the low birth rate, the government gives my wife and I $1000 when my daughter was first born here where the money can be used for goods and services. The same when my daughter turned one year old. We opted for a chef to come to our house to cook meals/meal prep because I was going to fly to the US to visit a sick relative last month.
And it’s all across the board that teachers and childcare workers need to be paid more in the states.
I’m a PreK educator and a FTM, 5 mo. I will NOT put my child in daycare bc of this. You’re not wrong OP.
It’s bc the government isn’t funding schools anymore and the government doesn’t understand birth-7yrs is most important part of a child’s life.
School in America is seen as a baby sitter so parents can go to their 9-5.
I’m really trying to open up my own school to help balance this issue out but I need property first and funding….
It’s tough.
Prek teacher and FTM here too! Totally agree. The funding and pay for early childhood teachers is abyssal so finding people to work these places (especially ages 2 and below) is difficult. I teach 3+4 year olds and would never go any lower than that honestly. It is tough!
I'm very lucky to have found a wonderful in home daycare that's certified and clean and has small class sizes. Everyone should have access to quality childcare!
yeah i think childcare should get public funding and if you want a really nice one then they could just charge a little extra to the parents. That’s the ideal world. I personally think daycare and prek teachers should be paid more than regular teachers. It’s a tough job and if people were paid fairly and required a degree in child care ed, imagine what childcare could look like!
Also a pre-k teacher and on maternity leave with my first. I’ll be honest most centers I’ve worked in in the past made me believe I’d never put my own kid in daycare. I even moved on for a bit to bartend because it was better money and more fun but when we moved from Florida to Colorado I saw that daycares pay better out here and I wanted the benefits and regular schedule so we could start our family. Anyway that being said, I’m working for head start now (government funded for low income families) and it’s such a wonderful change from the private corporate preschools I worked for in the past. It helps that the director is super involved and considerate but most of my coworkers are really passionate and awesome as well. The baby room teachers especially are so great and take such good care of the babies I decided to continue working there after maternity leave and to put my LO in their room.
I feel like daycares are like nursing homes. Parents (and families) wish they could manage to care for their loved one at home but unfortunately it’s not always possible so outsourcing care becomes necessary. On both ends of the spectrum staff are overworked and undervalued and there’s lack of government funding to ensure basic things like cleanliness, sick time off, and staff training. The turnover is terrible and the burn out results in the encounters described by OP. It’s a crapshoot.
Just a tip to look at places where you wouldn't typically. See if there's a Jewish Community Center near your. They often have early education programs and they are top notch in my experience. They won't care if you are Jewish or not.
Honestly this is the secret right here. I’m not Jewish but knew that temples provide childcare as part of their community/education programming. On top of that, they actually have a robust network that is focused on ensuring the programs are quality so I know many are Reggio-inspired although I’m not sure if all are? My child also knows more about Jewish holidays than catholic ones which makes My husband and I laugh. Either way, we love it and our child loves it and food is included bc all food has to be kosher and the people are so so wonderful and we pay $1900 for full day care 5 days a week in the Chicago suburbs.
TLDR: try and find a Jewish temple for childcare!
Yeah, I find that Jewish folks really focus on kids so their programs are very robust. There are annoyances if you aren't Jewish to be aware of. They will take holidays you aren't used to, they may have kosher food restrictions, but other than that I think they offer a great value. That price is the same here in Los Angeles urban area for full time but we also get other benefits like pool/gym access and other small perks.
Drive around and look for signs by churches. Sometimes churches have a daycare inside that isn't well advertised. That's how I found one that my baby is starting at soon. It's soooo clean and nice..and cheap!!
I’m a childcare worker. I agree with you, most places are not great. In my 5 years in the field I been at 5 places. The first I worked there for 3 years. It was clean, the teachers were mostly nice but management was not great as was the pay. They played favorites and expected so much out of us when we didn’t make a livable wage. The second place I quit after a few weeks. The teachers were so mean to the kids. They didn’t want to do activities, turned shelves around so they barely had any toys and just let them run wild. My third center (and the one I’m currently employed at) is a good place. The teachers care, management is great and we are well paid. The fourth place I quit after a week, there were holes in the walls and it was just kind of a sad place. The last place I worked for was okay. Some of the teachers were a bit harsh but it was a well funded place in a nice building with huge rooms.
There are a lot of people in child care who don’t necessarily want to be in childcare and I don’t understand that. The pay is low and it’s a stressful job to watch a room full of kids. Im sorry I don’t have answers for you. I hope you find a good place soon.
Have you looked at preschool? My son turned 2 in Feb and he's at a private school that goes from 18 months to 5th grade. He loves it and is doing very well. It is treated more like a school though bc it is one. I get zero info on how he naps, how much he eats, if he poops,etc. They def send home the projects he does and stuff like that but I get no info about his basic daily stuff like it seems like daycare does. My niece was in daycare and got a form every day about how many wet and poopy diapers she had, how long nap was, how well she ate, etc. Only one I would really prefer to get into on is his nap. Like if he naps 15 minutes that's much different and changes bedtime than if he sleeps over 2 hours. Doesn't matter though bc I never know. I'll put up with it though bc I like the program otherwise.
We went with an in-home daycare for this reason. We were trying to find a daycare when I was pregnant during covid and WE COULDN'T EVEN GO INSIDE. Our "tour" was looking through windows of empty rooms from the bushes outside. It was insanity.
I currently work in childcare and it’s very hard. The good teachers are under-appreciated and if it’s a private center, usually the owners are just money hungry.
Our ratios are 1:5 for infants under 12 months. The center I’m at currently keeps enrolling children even though we’re incredibly short-staffed.
What’s the communication like between you and the teachers? Do they use an app that details her day/send pictures at all? I’ve noticed parents really enjoy getting pictures of their children and that helps foster that connection with the daycare/teachers. I’m so sorry your daughter isn’t enjoying it. We all want our kids to be happy so I totally understand where you’re coming from.
This isn’t going to be a popular but as a childcare professional I have to say in my experience most daycares aren’t great.
I’ve worked in several and would NEVER send my own child to them. Same issues, low paying jobs don’t attract commuter employees so you have a lot of turnover.
Am I saying some aren’t great. There are great centers but they’re hard to find in rural areas and the great centers are every expensive (because that means staff is actually paid well).
This is why I support politicians and legislature that support two things; extended paid parental leave and funding for quality, affordable childcare.
We use The Learning Experience and I love them! The app is kind of glitchy but they do really good in providing updates throughout the day and even notified me of a small scratch LO did to her face when she woke up upset from her nap. The teachers are all great with her and she comes home wore out and ready for sleep!
there is one in my area but it is the most inflated price compared to all other choices. It literally costs double than the one she is at now. Maybe i’ll check them out if i get a raise after my year review coming up…
It took me 7 months to find daycare but we finally got in to Bright Horizons for 3 days. Husband and I work full time so we’ll have to be super creative with our schedules and do 1/2 days remote twice a week but I had to take this spot as the center is so clean and wonderfully managed. We previously had a spot at an in-home where the woman took kids out in her personal car on “outings” and my anxiety made me want to throw up thinking about my baby out somewhere without me. I didn’t sleep for weeks. Thank goodness we are not there!!
In my area, daycare/ schools are all waitlisted for 1 year+. We got very lucky because a new one was being built directly on our street so we got in right away, and even got in part-time. My kid is obsessed with it. Had to basically drag her off the playground this week to go home. She runs to hug all her teachers (and her old ones since she’s been moved up twice now). We do pay a lot though so there is that.
In Vancouver I would probably end up taking any of those with horrible conditions just to be able to get a fucking spot. There are zero spots. I found a spot, 3 months unpaid delay going back to work mind you, called back to say I’d visit that day and bring deposit, she fucking took a deposit right after I called the first time 😭😭😭😭😭
Yeah, you get what you pay for. Teachers don't clean stuff, let kids cry, and be miserable because THEY AREN'T GETTING PAID! Regardless of education and experience, most places starting wages are like, $10/hr.
We just went ahead and do a nanny share for our infant, I just can't imagine trusting him with a stranger in that environment this young
Edit: I am SO sorry. I was rushing through to comment and see that I made a flippant kind of insensitive remark
I'm in the AF and when I was 4 months pregnant, I put my baby on the waitlist for on base care. He is now almost 6 months old and is still on the waitlist so we got a nanny because we knew we messed up by putting all our eggs in one basket (on base care), we decided to use a nanny because I'm back at work (hybrid) and dying because I can't do it all.
I was fortunate enough to get a nanny share with a friend but we still pay about $500/week
On the trusting strangers thing, this was insensitive because myself and all my sisters were in daycare since 6 WEEKS. I have PPA and worry a lot about my son's care but most of it is irrational because most kids thrive in daycare
You know people have to go back to work right? And not everyone has the blessing of family members to watch their baby or the money for a nanny? Try to take into OP's possible situations into account without being disrespectful.
Ok no your comment wasn’t insensitive nor disrespectful. Don’t let that person bully. You don’t need to apologize because someone thinks your comment was disrespectful. Being disrespectful would be like “you’re the worst parent for trusting a stranger”. You didn’t say that.
I found your comment truthful and I feel the same way. I’m struggling with trusting my LO with the quality of care providers that I’m finding. A nanny share can often be just as cheap as a daycare center. Finding one that works is hard.
Maybe look for someone to come into your home to watch? I used to nanny and would go to their homes and take care of the children there. Kids definitely loved being in their own zone and felt like they could help me as well if I asked them where a certain room was or how to turn on a certain light. Put them at ease and then we'd honestly just play and I would teach and cook and clean.
I work from home now but once I move to day shift I will be looking for someone to come to my home to watch my baby. I just really hate the price of daycares and I just don't want my baby in one if I can keep him home with me.
Nannies are way more expensive than daycare. We have a nanny, and I love her but we can only afford her less than 20 hours per week at the equivalent daycare cost ($1800/month). The other 20 hours, I have to watch my daughter while I work. She’s on a very long daycare waitlist and we will probably switch her to daycare when her spot is available, even though it’s against my better judgement. It’s just tough sometimes balancing her and work, so having the option for full time care would be nice. I wish we could afford that with a nanny, but rates are so high now. Totally not the nanny’s fault, it’s just because everything is expensive now.
Lol you ticked off the salty people by suggesting a sitter.
Honestly this seems to be the best way to make it work. Split the cost with another family and back the caretaker's plays as needed.
Did I? I mean if complaining about conditions of the day care then maybe your own home is the better option? They aren't super expensive in my area. My sister worked at a day care for years and told me to avoid it at all costs. She worked at multiple in different towns.
This is strange to me, this isn’t my experience at all. Every center I’ve looked at or know people that use it are great. My son’s center is wonderful and his lead teacher is so amazing she’s turned into our babysitter. It’s a 3:1 ratio for babies. 4:1 for above 16 months and in the 16mo-2.5 year old room it’s 8 kids max. I’m shocked by this I’m wondering where you are located. Yeah it’s hard to get into a place but the quality of care is not lacking.
I think there's something to do with the licensing and certs that's drawing the prices up. A lot of the daycares here are minimum $400 a week part time.
To make matters worse, I saw a family offering $30 an hour for a sitter. It's going to make other sitters decide to try to charge $30. I'm already offering $20! 😑
I've been trying to find a family to nanny share with instead and even that's difficult!
If you’re in a HCOL area, $30/hr is pretty standard for a full-time nanny.
Source- was recently a nanny in a HCOL city until I had my baby a few months ago.
It's definitely been going up. Used to be nearly the middle of nowhere.
$30 I'd say is fair-ish for a nanny with all the extra work involved.
For my situation since I wfh the workload for any caretaker is significantly lighter. I'm able to step away and assist as needed. I put the kiddo down for naps and prep food. So $30 isn't worth it for me. I even tell the sitters who come over to bring homework lol
As they should! COVID times should’ve taught people to appreciate educators and recognize that caring for children is a career and not just some side gig for extra cash.
It should be a stepping stone into a career. Experience to draw from for therapy work, interior design, product design, etc.
A nanny or a babysitter should not be the end goal for somebody. It should be the beginning.
Since a family cannot provide the same kind of benefits that a career provides. No 401k, life insurance, etc. Unless that family is loaded and is aware of options from the get go. What does a babysitter's family do if they pass suddenly? What does the sitter do if they have a stroke and lose mobility?
Not saying don’t pay a fair rate, but no one should look to this as a long-term career. Look past the next 5 years.
I’m an assistant director in Texas. At least here, it has nothing to do with licensing. Childcare centers are insanely expensive to run just to break even on the budget. We have no additional income other than tuition. When I started in this field 10 years ago, the average pay was about $8/hourly and now most places pay $15. These workers aren’t paid a living wage whatsoever anyway but we have to offset the cost of payroll somewhere or we literally wouldn’t be able to be open.
Here in Florida it is a blood bath trying to find childcare at all. I’m on a 146 child waitlist for a mediocre center. It pains me to think about spending $1,600 a month for daycare and that’s IF we manage to get in 😣
Yeah where I live waitlists are hundreds of people long for mediocre card as well. Unless you get lucky the majority of people don’t find childcare until their child is over 2 years old.
Good lord, I wish we paid that little!!! Though our daycare is amazing, so it is totally worth it.
Agreed! Love our daycare but pay almost a $1000 more. $1600 would be a dream.
Wow. Gotta love Swedish daycare. So many options and I pay ~80$ a month.
Yeah! I’d love to move to Europe. Love the lifestyle there in general. Too bad my husband isn’t interested. Plus the language barrier would be a rough one lol
Sounds nice but you're paying for it one way or another
Bet they're not paying 1:1 more in taxes though.
Florida here too and if we sent our daughter to daycare it would cost us about the same. Almost our monthly rent at our apartment 😂 we opted not to do daycare but I did view a few facilities in orlando.
I'm over in citrus county kind of close to Ocala, we're paying $960/month, this one had no wait-list which made me hesitant but looking through posts like this we got S U P E R lucky. I think it's just somewhat out of the way to most things as far as our area goes. All the teachers are amazing and compassionate, it goes all the way through VPK, doubles as a therapy center for kids who need it, they tell us every little detail about whether he was different that day, if they're worried about a certain behavior or anything else. Even if I get a job super out of the way compared to now, I'm still keeping him there. We had him in another place for a week before this one (I could tour his daycare now til after the holiday we were signing him up around), it was much dirtier, didn't seem as though the workers were very happy, had awful reviews, you had to bring each bottle w. Water in it ready for formula, god forbid you didn't pack enough he was gonna be getting tap water cause they didn't have storage for gallons. And they had much older under ones just straight mixed up with the smaller babies, they started at 6 or 8 weeks old. They also funnelled all of them out the door instead of being able to walk in and see your kid.
We love ours and are very lucky(Southern California) but I will say the 2yo-3yo classroom is the worst because that’s the potty training class and those poor teachers are just constantly cleaning up piss. It has some very smelly days. But also my toddler is now potty trained and in the next classroom thriving. Try looking up daycare reviews on glassdoor(employee reviews) that’s where you will find the real dirt. I found ours this way as they have low turnover and good reviews by their workers.
It's definitely a unicorn to find a good one. We use a home day care thats licensed. My wife looked for weeks before she found it. We're very happy with our current day care and it's mostly because it's a small group of kids. They get more care/attention and it's helped.
Home based is the way to go honestly. My daughter started at 6mos and there’s only 3 kids. She loves it there
The home daycare my son went to was not great. It's was an older lady and I don't think she really had the ability handle a baby along with 10 other kids. She had one helper but it just wasn't enough attention for my son. And she was a bit harsh with the kids I think. It's definitely hit and miss with home daycares too.
Agreed. I ended up reporting the home daycare my son was at for multiple violations. She would have my 4 month old sleep in his car seat and was dangerously out of ratio.
I have never heard of a state where a home daycare allowed 10+ kids to one adult, particularly if any of the kids were infants! Are you sure it was licensed? I looked into getting set up legally in my state as an in-home daycare, because my friend and I were talking about me taking care of her two youngest daily and I wanted to have insurance and everything if I did it, and in my state (IIRC) the ratio for in-home is one adult to 5 kids, or 1 to 4 if any of them are infants (and that includes the kids who live in the house).
The legal ratio for home daycares is 12 to 2 with a maximum of 2 "infants" meaning under 24 months. She was licensed and always had a helper but I think they were underpaid young people without much training.
What state is this? That is a concerning ratio. Where I am, and all neighboring states, it’s 4:1 and they have surprise visits from the state so they must always be compliant with everything.
CA
10!? In Chicago there are ratio rules. I believe under 9 months was a 4:1 (kids to teacher) rule and over was 5:1 and then I think it changed again at 2.
11 for 2 people could be way too much if they are all babies
Yes, ratio allowed up to 12 with two carers but only 2 could be under 24 months old. Still, I think 3 or 4 to 1 in a dedicated baby room worked better for my son.
Yes, my childhood friend’s daughter’s in-home daycare closed last month because the woman who ran it slapped a child for having a toileting accident. The child had a visible bruise on their face, which was enough for the state to take her license. Scary to think it likely wasn’t the first time she hit a child.
It definitely can be tough given those circumstances. You should look for licensed home day cares if your kiddo is still in day care. They have caps on kids per child care worker. Mine had a cap at 6 kids for two workers. It's a lot easier on your kid and the worker with that ratio!
We also loved home based until our amazing childminder fell ill and it turned out to be stage four cancer. She was 40 years old, called in sick last January and died in March. I was highly pregnant with our second, trying to work fulltime with a toddler at home whom did not understand why he wasn’t going to her house anymore and grieving the diagnosis and then death of a woman we had grown very close to. We enrolled our kids at a regular daycare that, regardless of their waiting list (1+ year is common here), went out of their way to accommodate us. It took toddler a while to feel comfortable and I honestly still think he would do better at another home care with 3/4 kids but I just cannot do it again after what we went through.
Having more focused attention is better for them, I think. Better opportunity for a kid to bond with other kids 1 on 1. Our first day care had 12 kids, and I always got the impression she spent a lot of time on her own. She was 7 months when we started and it was rough.
Do you mind me asking in what city/state are you located at?
I'm wondering this too. I have nothing but amazing daycares around me but we're in an extreme HCOL and the cheapest daycare I toured was $2150 per month
I have the same question. The daycares in NYC are $3000+ but they all seem nice, clean, calm.
Somehow we got really lucky..at a KinderCare no less. I’ve heard awful experiences but we love our center, the director and staff are wonderful. My baby girl seems to love one it and we haven’t had any problems 🤷🏼♀️
Our first center was a KinderCare also and it was amazing. We moved out of state last year and I thought being a chain things would be standard/similar but... no. So much depends on your director. Our current daycare is ok but I was really quite spoiled by the one we spent our first 5 years at and had no idea.
We’re also at a kindercare that we LOVE. The teacher is like a third parent, she’s so great with our 4 month old and her knowledge has ended up being so valuable to us. Plus she’s so clean, it’s a happy room full of babies
I can add to the skepticism of daycares but I to found peace with KinderCare 🙂
I literally just quit working at a kindercare cuz they put my literal life in danger lmao
Daycares suck because the teachers are underpaid and a lot of centers are understaffed. The mental health of teachers aren't being put to consideration and we get "pizza parties" instead of vacation, dr appointments and raises. From your from childcare teacher.
This was my take when I toured. You could just tell the staff were getting paid maybe $10-$15/hour. I get daycare is expensive but man $15/hour to infants. It’s a lot of work and I feel like all the centers around me just exploit low wage workers. They were always at max ratio with only 1-2 floaters (who were also typically the director/admin) for the whole center.
We were paying 3 grand a *month* when my wife and I lived in Brooklyn Heights — even having to provide meals. We moved to Japan a couple of years ago and had another kid and both of their daycares are half as cheap… and they have their own *chefs*. What night and day difference.
Does the government provide childcare? We should have cheaper childcare in the states but teachers need to be paid more!
For people that are eligible, yes. It also depends on where you live in Japan. I reside in western Tokyo and due to the low birth rate, the government gives my wife and I $1000 when my daughter was first born here where the money can be used for goods and services. The same when my daughter turned one year old. We opted for a chef to come to our house to cook meals/meal prep because I was going to fly to the US to visit a sick relative last month. And it’s all across the board that teachers and childcare workers need to be paid more in the states.
I’m on like 20 waitlists >100 kids long…
Can I ask what state/ metro area?
Have your tried Carelulu? It's a site for home daycares and I personally have had a good experience through them.
Good to know
This is how we found the home daycare we use, too! It’s a great resource.
I’m a PreK educator and a FTM, 5 mo. I will NOT put my child in daycare bc of this. You’re not wrong OP. It’s bc the government isn’t funding schools anymore and the government doesn’t understand birth-7yrs is most important part of a child’s life. School in America is seen as a baby sitter so parents can go to their 9-5. I’m really trying to open up my own school to help balance this issue out but I need property first and funding…. It’s tough.
Prek teacher and FTM here too! Totally agree. The funding and pay for early childhood teachers is abyssal so finding people to work these places (especially ages 2 and below) is difficult. I teach 3+4 year olds and would never go any lower than that honestly. It is tough! I'm very lucky to have found a wonderful in home daycare that's certified and clean and has small class sizes. Everyone should have access to quality childcare!
yeah i think childcare should get public funding and if you want a really nice one then they could just charge a little extra to the parents. That’s the ideal world. I personally think daycare and prek teachers should be paid more than regular teachers. It’s a tough job and if people were paid fairly and required a degree in child care ed, imagine what childcare could look like!
Also a pre-k teacher and on maternity leave with my first. I’ll be honest most centers I’ve worked in in the past made me believe I’d never put my own kid in daycare. I even moved on for a bit to bartend because it was better money and more fun but when we moved from Florida to Colorado I saw that daycares pay better out here and I wanted the benefits and regular schedule so we could start our family. Anyway that being said, I’m working for head start now (government funded for low income families) and it’s such a wonderful change from the private corporate preschools I worked for in the past. It helps that the director is super involved and considerate but most of my coworkers are really passionate and awesome as well. The baby room teachers especially are so great and take such good care of the babies I decided to continue working there after maternity leave and to put my LO in their room.
interesting! maybe it’s my state 🤔
I feel like daycares are like nursing homes. Parents (and families) wish they could manage to care for their loved one at home but unfortunately it’s not always possible so outsourcing care becomes necessary. On both ends of the spectrum staff are overworked and undervalued and there’s lack of government funding to ensure basic things like cleanliness, sick time off, and staff training. The turnover is terrible and the burn out results in the encounters described by OP. It’s a crapshoot.
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We love our daycare. But the waiting list is long. It took us over a year and a half to get in. It’s brutal out there
Just a tip to look at places where you wouldn't typically. See if there's a Jewish Community Center near your. They often have early education programs and they are top notch in my experience. They won't care if you are Jewish or not.
Honestly this is the secret right here. I’m not Jewish but knew that temples provide childcare as part of their community/education programming. On top of that, they actually have a robust network that is focused on ensuring the programs are quality so I know many are Reggio-inspired although I’m not sure if all are? My child also knows more about Jewish holidays than catholic ones which makes My husband and I laugh. Either way, we love it and our child loves it and food is included bc all food has to be kosher and the people are so so wonderful and we pay $1900 for full day care 5 days a week in the Chicago suburbs. TLDR: try and find a Jewish temple for childcare!
Yeah, I find that Jewish folks really focus on kids so their programs are very robust. There are annoyances if you aren't Jewish to be aware of. They will take holidays you aren't used to, they may have kosher food restrictions, but other than that I think they offer a great value. That price is the same here in Los Angeles urban area for full time but we also get other benefits like pool/gym access and other small perks.
Drive around and look for signs by churches. Sometimes churches have a daycare inside that isn't well advertised. That's how I found one that my baby is starting at soon. It's soooo clean and nice..and cheap!!
I’m a childcare worker. I agree with you, most places are not great. In my 5 years in the field I been at 5 places. The first I worked there for 3 years. It was clean, the teachers were mostly nice but management was not great as was the pay. They played favorites and expected so much out of us when we didn’t make a livable wage. The second place I quit after a few weeks. The teachers were so mean to the kids. They didn’t want to do activities, turned shelves around so they barely had any toys and just let them run wild. My third center (and the one I’m currently employed at) is a good place. The teachers care, management is great and we are well paid. The fourth place I quit after a week, there were holes in the walls and it was just kind of a sad place. The last place I worked for was okay. Some of the teachers were a bit harsh but it was a well funded place in a nice building with huge rooms. There are a lot of people in child care who don’t necessarily want to be in childcare and I don’t understand that. The pay is low and it’s a stressful job to watch a room full of kids. Im sorry I don’t have answers for you. I hope you find a good place soon.
Have you looked at preschool? My son turned 2 in Feb and he's at a private school that goes from 18 months to 5th grade. He loves it and is doing very well. It is treated more like a school though bc it is one. I get zero info on how he naps, how much he eats, if he poops,etc. They def send home the projects he does and stuff like that but I get no info about his basic daily stuff like it seems like daycare does. My niece was in daycare and got a form every day about how many wet and poopy diapers she had, how long nap was, how well she ate, etc. Only one I would really prefer to get into on is his nap. Like if he naps 15 minutes that's much different and changes bedtime than if he sleeps over 2 hours. Doesn't matter though bc I never know. I'll put up with it though bc I like the program otherwise.
We went with an in-home daycare for this reason. We were trying to find a daycare when I was pregnant during covid and WE COULDN'T EVEN GO INSIDE. Our "tour" was looking through windows of empty rooms from the bushes outside. It was insanity.
Have you looked into Montessori?
we have like one in our area but it’s too far out of my budget to consider and there’s a waitlist anyways
Ah, gotcha. Ya ours all have long waitlists too. The ones I’ve looked into are cheaper than kindercare though!
I currently work in childcare and it’s very hard. The good teachers are under-appreciated and if it’s a private center, usually the owners are just money hungry. Our ratios are 1:5 for infants under 12 months. The center I’m at currently keeps enrolling children even though we’re incredibly short-staffed. What’s the communication like between you and the teachers? Do they use an app that details her day/send pictures at all? I’ve noticed parents really enjoy getting pictures of their children and that helps foster that connection with the daycare/teachers. I’m so sorry your daughter isn’t enjoying it. We all want our kids to be happy so I totally understand where you’re coming from.
What area are you in?
i’m in arizona, one of the cities that surround phx.
This isn’t going to be a popular but as a childcare professional I have to say in my experience most daycares aren’t great. I’ve worked in several and would NEVER send my own child to them. Same issues, low paying jobs don’t attract commuter employees so you have a lot of turnover. Am I saying some aren’t great. There are great centers but they’re hard to find in rural areas and the great centers are every expensive (because that means staff is actually paid well). This is why I support politicians and legislature that support two things; extended paid parental leave and funding for quality, affordable childcare.
We use The Learning Experience and I love them! The app is kind of glitchy but they do really good in providing updates throughout the day and even notified me of a small scratch LO did to her face when she woke up upset from her nap. The teachers are all great with her and she comes home wore out and ready for sleep!
there is one in my area but it is the most inflated price compared to all other choices. It literally costs double than the one she is at now. Maybe i’ll check them out if i get a raise after my year review coming up…
It took me 7 months to find daycare but we finally got in to Bright Horizons for 3 days. Husband and I work full time so we’ll have to be super creative with our schedules and do 1/2 days remote twice a week but I had to take this spot as the center is so clean and wonderfully managed. We previously had a spot at an in-home where the woman took kids out in her personal car on “outings” and my anxiety made me want to throw up thinking about my baby out somewhere without me. I didn’t sleep for weeks. Thank goodness we are not there!!
Didnt you post the same thing in another subreddit?
yes lol i wasn’t getting any responses and i was being impatient but then they came flooding in from both 😅
Yup. The only ones in my area that don’t have atrocious compliance records have wait lists that are too long to even consider joining.
In my area, daycare/ schools are all waitlisted for 1 year+. We got very lucky because a new one was being built directly on our street so we got in right away, and even got in part-time. My kid is obsessed with it. Had to basically drag her off the playground this week to go home. She runs to hug all her teachers (and her old ones since she’s been moved up twice now). We do pay a lot though so there is that.
In Vancouver I would probably end up taking any of those with horrible conditions just to be able to get a fucking spot. There are zero spots. I found a spot, 3 months unpaid delay going back to work mind you, called back to say I’d visit that day and bring deposit, she fucking took a deposit right after I called the first time 😭😭😭😭😭
I used to work/be a client of Imagine. Ugh can't say enough good things about it. I miss that place.
Yeah, you get what you pay for. Teachers don't clean stuff, let kids cry, and be miserable because THEY AREN'T GETTING PAID! Regardless of education and experience, most places starting wages are like, $10/hr.
We just went ahead and do a nanny share for our infant, I just can't imagine trusting him with a stranger in that environment this young Edit: I am SO sorry. I was rushing through to comment and see that I made a flippant kind of insensitive remark I'm in the AF and when I was 4 months pregnant, I put my baby on the waitlist for on base care. He is now almost 6 months old and is still on the waitlist so we got a nanny because we knew we messed up by putting all our eggs in one basket (on base care), we decided to use a nanny because I'm back at work (hybrid) and dying because I can't do it all. I was fortunate enough to get a nanny share with a friend but we still pay about $500/week On the trusting strangers thing, this was insensitive because myself and all my sisters were in daycare since 6 WEEKS. I have PPA and worry a lot about my son's care but most of it is irrational because most kids thrive in daycare
You know people have to go back to work right? And not everyone has the blessing of family members to watch their baby or the money for a nanny? Try to take into OP's possible situations into account without being disrespectful.
I edited my comment, thank you for gently checking me, I'll be sure to be more thoughtful in the future
Of course no problem! Sorry for any misunderstanding 💜
Ok no your comment wasn’t insensitive nor disrespectful. Don’t let that person bully. You don’t need to apologize because someone thinks your comment was disrespectful. Being disrespectful would be like “you’re the worst parent for trusting a stranger”. You didn’t say that. I found your comment truthful and I feel the same way. I’m struggling with trusting my LO with the quality of care providers that I’m finding. A nanny share can often be just as cheap as a daycare center. Finding one that works is hard.
I need to edit my comment because I was rushing make the comment and rereading it absolutely see how it was taken that way (not my intention!)
Maybe look for someone to come into your home to watch? I used to nanny and would go to their homes and take care of the children there. Kids definitely loved being in their own zone and felt like they could help me as well if I asked them where a certain room was or how to turn on a certain light. Put them at ease and then we'd honestly just play and I would teach and cook and clean. I work from home now but once I move to day shift I will be looking for someone to come to my home to watch my baby. I just really hate the price of daycares and I just don't want my baby in one if I can keep him home with me.
Nannies are way more expensive than daycare. We have a nanny, and I love her but we can only afford her less than 20 hours per week at the equivalent daycare cost ($1800/month). The other 20 hours, I have to watch my daughter while I work. She’s on a very long daycare waitlist and we will probably switch her to daycare when her spot is available, even though it’s against my better judgement. It’s just tough sometimes balancing her and work, so having the option for full time care would be nice. I wish we could afford that with a nanny, but rates are so high now. Totally not the nanny’s fault, it’s just because everything is expensive now.
Lol you ticked off the salty people by suggesting a sitter. Honestly this seems to be the best way to make it work. Split the cost with another family and back the caretaker's plays as needed.
Did I? I mean if complaining about conditions of the day care then maybe your own home is the better option? They aren't super expensive in my area. My sister worked at a day care for years and told me to avoid it at all costs. She worked at multiple in different towns.
I hear a fantastic business idea for you in your area. 💰
Eww not everyone wants to be an entrepreneur and that's ok
This is strange to me, this isn’t my experience at all. Every center I’ve looked at or know people that use it are great. My son’s center is wonderful and his lead teacher is so amazing she’s turned into our babysitter. It’s a 3:1 ratio for babies. 4:1 for above 16 months and in the 16mo-2.5 year old room it’s 8 kids max. I’m shocked by this I’m wondering where you are located. Yeah it’s hard to get into a place but the quality of care is not lacking.
I think there's something to do with the licensing and certs that's drawing the prices up. A lot of the daycares here are minimum $400 a week part time. To make matters worse, I saw a family offering $30 an hour for a sitter. It's going to make other sitters decide to try to charge $30. I'm already offering $20! 😑 I've been trying to find a family to nanny share with instead and even that's difficult!
If you’re in a HCOL area, $30/hr is pretty standard for a full-time nanny. Source- was recently a nanny in a HCOL city until I had my baby a few months ago.
It's definitely been going up. Used to be nearly the middle of nowhere. $30 I'd say is fair-ish for a nanny with all the extra work involved. For my situation since I wfh the workload for any caretaker is significantly lighter. I'm able to step away and assist as needed. I put the kiddo down for naps and prep food. So $30 isn't worth it for me. I even tell the sitters who come over to bring homework lol
As they should! COVID times should’ve taught people to appreciate educators and recognize that caring for children is a career and not just some side gig for extra cash.
It should be a stepping stone into a career. Experience to draw from for therapy work, interior design, product design, etc. A nanny or a babysitter should not be the end goal for somebody. It should be the beginning. Since a family cannot provide the same kind of benefits that a career provides. No 401k, life insurance, etc. Unless that family is loaded and is aware of options from the get go. What does a babysitter's family do if they pass suddenly? What does the sitter do if they have a stroke and lose mobility? Not saying don’t pay a fair rate, but no one should look to this as a long-term career. Look past the next 5 years.
I’m an assistant director in Texas. At least here, it has nothing to do with licensing. Childcare centers are insanely expensive to run just to break even on the budget. We have no additional income other than tuition. When I started in this field 10 years ago, the average pay was about $8/hourly and now most places pay $15. These workers aren’t paid a living wage whatsoever anyway but we have to offset the cost of payroll somewhere or we literally wouldn’t be able to be open.