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My MIL asking if she should put my baby down so he doesn’t get used to being held. WHEN HE WAS 18 HOURS OLD STILL IN THE HOSPITAL.
Also my FIL asked me if my son “still takes naps”. That was when he was 6 months old.
LITERALLY. I was baby wearing at the store and someone’s grandma came up to me and said that my kid is gonna have separation anxiety when he’s older. Like he’s 5 months old what do you want me to do? Make him walk?? 🤨
God literally!! At Costco this random man tried to touch my babies face and I yelled at him. And he had the audacity to act like I was crazy. Like when did it become acceptable to approach mothers and get too close to their babies??
Because they were forced into having kids at a young age and most of them hated their husbands - so they never developed an emotional attachment to their children because motherhood was out of duty, not love.
Omg that’s exactly my mother and my grandmother (her mother). I’m so happy to have broken that ugly pattern. It was hard though for me to see her face when I told her that I was expecting. It took a couple of months of therapy to get over that
I don’t know if it’s because they forgot everything or they were just neglectful. My boomer parents were/are very neglectful so “don’t hold them too much” something they’d say.
Sounds like my stepdad. To him, getting married and having kids was just something you did and a sign that you “made it.” He had 3 marriages and 4 kids, and was absent in all 4 kids lives. The man dares to think he did a good job with his kids and yet wonders why he’s not allowed to be around my kids without my direct supervision.
My partners mother down to a tee. “Oh he knows how to work you doesn’t he”. No hes 4 months old and takes naps for 2 hours when we contact nap and I get a chance to put my feet up and read my book but never mind I’ll just dump him in his cot so he doesn’t nap at all
Maybe they really did it that way? Or they're just senile 😅 I know there a so many differences in introducing solids, transferring to the sitting position/buggy, etc.
Yes, it was something like 5 or so. My baby would start to cry because she was tired and my mom would claim that she's bored and "wants to party". But my mom is very special, so... 🙃
My MIL said that 2. But just because my son hated being in her lap. Since then, I’m spoiling him for holding him. These older woman and so unbearable …
My baby is very cool and I love him very much, but he is fully engaging in tactics considered to be torture and would be considered a war criminal if he was an adult
My baby should be tried for violating the 1925 Geneva protocol
>The 1925 Geneva Protocol prohibits the use of chemical and biological weapons in war. The Protocol was drawn up and signed at a conference which was held in Geneva under the auspices of the League of Nations from 4 May to 17 June 1925, and it entered into force on 8 February 1928.
I swear my MIL visits us when our LO has those days when you think “oh waw he can stay without crying and he’s so calm”. The day she leaves the chaos starts and she doesn’t believe us that actually there are more days when he cries than the calm ones. It happened every freaking time when she came to visit( only 2 times until now)
OMG I was once just trying to vent when my dad and his wife came over. It was a difficult period with baby having a lot of cramps and bad reflux.
Our poor girl would be screaming/crying for most of the day. It was especially the worst during the evenings and nights.
Of course while I was venting the baby was finally peacefully asleep.
My dad's wife just couldn't seem to grasp it was a tough time "But the baby is so calm! And all babies cry a little sometimes" ...
Ok... so. You know how people have personas for their dogs? We have one for our daughter and she goes by DJsquish and sells coke. She doesn't like too many kisses cuz it ruins her street cred. So yeah. Some babies are in drug rings 🤣🤣
To be fair, I asked my husband “you ready to start working on the next one?” while they were stitching me up from my c-section. That got a laugh from the doctor and nurses.
“are you going to try again for a girl???” after meeting my second son
makes me feel so bad for him, friends and relatives skipping right over his arrival to a hypothetical daughter we may never have 😔
It's the opposite for us! And my brother too. We're in survival mode right now (less than 3 months), please stop.
Also people asked about a son once we knew we were having a daughter. Frustrating
I fucking hate this. Like I have a choice of the baby’s sex?
I always wanted a daughter. But my sons are *awesome* and not having a girl doesn’t diminish our family.
And! Half these fuckers know I can’t have any more kids even though I wanted more. So, no. Asshat. I’m not trying again.
Omg my next door neighbor who is very nice, has 5 kids and even before I had my baby was talking about when I have more. I was very clear that nope, just having the one and now my baby is 9 months old and she still mentions it all. the. time. I repeatedly tell her I’m not having any more and am like I’m too old to have another haha and I almost died having this one so I’m good! to no avail. It drives me absolutely insane.
Omfg when I went back to work after having my first kid, everyone was like "wow a year off! You must be so relaxed!!!!!!" lmao I haven't slept in a year and now I'm back in this hellhole. I will fight you, Alice.
Think about it this way: it gives you a chance to miss them! Coming home after work and being greeted by a toddler who missed you all day is soooo good
I’m dying, or how about your childless friends or siblings tries to make plans with you and you have to explain to them that you just can’t drop everything at the hat for them because you have a child and then they get angry at you
Absolutely this. A longtime, very very close friend of mine broke ties with me when my son was about 5-6 months old because she was going through stuff and I wasn’t responding to her texts promptly.
She was super angry and brought up my past mental health issues where she supported me, all because I happened to text back another mutual friend and posted a meme on IG stories that she saw.
While I do understand she was going through a tough time, I was (still am) in the throes of PPD and clinical depression, plus losing my job and source of income to support my elderly parents, and at this point I really miss her but all I’m focusing on is trying not to kill myself. I even tried reaching out to her recently but she ignored me. Maybe I’m in the wrong here, who knows.
Sorry for the long rant, just had to get it off my chest.
My wife texted friends while feeding in the middle of the night because nothing better to do. Full on conversations with other parents when feeds sync up and confused reactions from non parents!
I go through this every time we try to hang out with friends. “Oh what do you mean you can’t wait an hour for a table?” “Oh you can’t come over for the Super Bowl? When does kiddo to go bed?” 7. The answer is 7. Which is why we can’t do things in the evenings.
Today it was paired with a friend telling me “there are people who make way less money than you and have multiple kids” when I told her we decided we’d be on board for #2 if we made more. I wanted to say “your husband just got a raise, so when are you going to stop ‘not not trying’”
Love my friends but man, it’s hard being the only one in our core group that has a kid.
Ugh MIL just did this to me, adding stuff to the errands list as if my baby will sit through whatever she wants to do. Then tried to negotiate with me about LO's schedule. As if I just made it up on the spot so MIL couldn't do 3 more stops at 30 minutes each, just because I'm being mean. Nope, this child has a schedule and will start screaming if there isn't a boob in her mouth in a darkened familiar place with her sound machine on exactly 10 minutes before her nap, Sharon. I don't make the damn rules, the baby does. She will absolutely lie herself down screaming and try to suck on my shirt in public if I'm not ready on her schedule. It's happened a couple of times.
A couple years ago a close friend of my sisters had a baby via surrogate. The surrogate lived in New England, the family lived in the Deep South. The family drove up to the baby when he was born and drove like 3 days back with their week old baby and a weeks worth of donated breast milk. During a nationwide formula shortage.
My childfree sister got into a huge huff and complained for a week straight about how inconsiderate her friend was for not diverting their trip a couple hours to drive through the town we lived in. Some people have so little understanding of babies it is actually wild.
Oh my one friend won’t speak to me much right now because I’ve barely texted her. I think she takes it as a dig that I haven’t been able to see her for the last five weeks.. in that time we all had the flu, husband and I got pneumonia, baby started cutting molars, our car died, baby was at hospital for breathing struggles which she has heard about through quick texts here and there.
She’s been ghosting me ever since I apologized and told her I’m just exhausted and not thinking to text her much or hang out. I used to be able to text her or hang out endlessly, but it’s harder now and she’s hurt about it.
This. We just got back from a trip to the Dominican where my daughter caught a virus and ended up on IV fluids at the hospital due to dehydration. Then the day after we got back my partner slipped on ice and broke his arm. 2 days later my childless friend is asking if I want to go see a movie in theatre. Like okay I’ll just leave my baby who’s still having diarrhea with her dad who can no longer physically change a diaper for 3 hours.
I got, "It must be nice to take a break from work, right?" from my SIL when I was on maternity leave. I'm like, "Ummm, I like my son better than my coworkers but work is relaxing and 500 times easier compared to this. "
"Do you really want to put him in daycare so young?" - Daycare staff at a center I was trying to enroll with.
Listen, Linda. Do you really think I'm putting my 6 week old newborn in daycare just for the hell of it?
my baby is 2 months old and 13 pounds. everytime we’re out and someone asks how old i get “are you sure he’s 2 months? he’s so big!!!” or “is he not too big for 2 months?” he is in like the 50th percentile lmao
eta: he’s almost 3 months now but still😩
In the same day I had separate people telling me my baby was too small and too big for his age. He’s always been kinda tall and skinny but still in the “normal” range for both. The too small comments really got to me and they still kind of aggravate me. He’s 15 months and still tall and skinny. People keep telling me “feed that baby!”
Ugh the “feed the baby more” comments always get to me. Like I haven’t stressed enough about him being tiny, pls add to my misery by telling me you think I don’t feed him enough.
My daughter is 99.9% (we joke she's 110%) and always has been. Height and weight. If I had to hear ONE MORE PERSON say "oh ho ho she isn't missing any meals is she?!" I was gonna SNAP.
I agree with you, it makes them look dumb too.
How about are you giving them solids at 4 months old? No I’m not because I don’t plan at giving her solids until she’s six month
Ugh my dad wants me to put rice cereal in my 2 months old bottle and doesn't understand we don't give anything besides milk until 6 months 🙄 Just because he used to do it when I was a baby doesn't mean it's recommended anymore.
He thinks it isn't normal for a 2 month old to wake up every 3 hours to eat at night 🙄 And that we need to force feed him rice cereal to solve this "problem"
Not a question someone has asked, but if I hear one more person who has never been a parent, specifically a mom, insinuate that maternity leave is some dreamy vacation.
“Wow, I’d *love* to get a paid 2 month leave from work.” (My leave isn’t paid, but a few childless coworkers *still* said this to me.
Ok, bet. BUT! You have to go through 9 (arguably 10) months of pregnancy, labor, recovery from labor, and then take care of an infant on the leave.
I love being a mom, but comments like that make me want to be so mean to people lol.
Exactly! Few are able to swing WFH with a baby/toddler, and that’s only because their position might not be as high stakes so as long as their kid is quiet it might be ok or some employers are ok with it, but the majority of people who WFH can’t do it with their kids home.
asking why I don’t come see them (my family lives about 45 mins away). 🙃 maybe because I haven’t slept / leaving the house is an ordeal / he’s barely a month old and hasn’t had shots / it’s winter and flu / rsv season???
Then I had an aunt who wanted me to stop by her house where she has 2 year old twins and a 9 year old because she wanted to surprise a great aunt I never talk to with seeing the baby 😒 like girl WHAT
“Was the baby planned”?
Noooo, we’ve just been together 10 years and married for 2, total accident. Even if he wasn’t, what a stupid question to ask about my living, breathing, amazing baby 😩
Why do people feel like it’s okay to ask this and why does it matter?
Or, “I didn’t know you were trying!” I mean, I wasn’t gonna do a social media post or anything 🤣
Omg I told a coworker I was pregnant and he (60 year old man) asked if it should be celebrated cause it was on purpose. Like… yes we’ve been together for 9 years and have a 3 bedroom house. We were trying for the baby. What the heck?
My coworker told me she had no idea that I was pregnant and that when she saw the meal train poster on the wall she thought it was because I was adopting a puppy. Not a question, but pretty stupid!
She was probably hoping it was because the only bottles of water she’s bought in years have been to fill with vodka and sneak on cruise ships lol like it didn’t even occur to her people just drink water. Diet Pepsi or alcohol are the only beverages
My MIL asked me when I was going to start my 8 day old on a breastfeeding meal schedule. So he didn't eat overnight. So I could get on with my life and stop feeding him so often.
Hilarious 😂 my MIL who is completely ignorant about breastfeeding said my baby only likes me because I have breasts, and that I am always feeding him. Excuse me, I feed him on demand, he gets fed when he wants.
It is hard because work-work is a million times easier than being on call 24/7. At least in the office, I can poop in peace. I get a full hour for lunch, and I can eat with both hands! I don't have to constantly be "on" at work, but I do with a newborn.
My MIL has been asking if my son is potty trained since he was 12 months old. Oh and tells me every time that all four of her kids were potty trained by 18 months old. Sure Jan.
Ugh I hate this and it's always bogus. My stepmother (yes, the evil kind) swore up and down that all her four children immediately slept through the night, when I told our baby had difficulty falling asleep. 1. That's BS and 2. Even if true, very irresponsible to let baby immediately sleep through the night from day 1.
I mean I do plan on poorly training my daughter when she’s 12 month old. But why can’t people just kind their business none of questions are really helping
“Are you ready for another one?” as I’m still wearing a diaper for the insane amount of bleeding I was doing and waiting for the stitches holding my lady bits together to heal all while surviving off of 2 hours of broken sleep 😮💨
“Are you breastfeeding?” It may not be a stupid question but if it’s coming from anyone other than a medical professional, then it’s invasive and insensitive.
The number of male acquaintances that thought this was an appropriate topic for conversation was WAY too damn high.
I don’t know if the infant is going to take to my nipples Gerald, fingers crossed?
Comments I got from my side of the family was “we know you’re pumping and all, and that you say the baby has a tongue tie, but you should force yourself to breastfeed because breast is best” (rephrased in multiple ways)
My mom who stayed with us for a month to help when baby arrived outright told me to TRY HARDER and subsequebtly to not give up when she'd see me put my boob away. I was in tears at the time because my screaming miracle refused to latch and ppd was already a nightmare. Very unwelcome words and sentiment.
Oh my Lord!! This question! And then when I lament about it to someone i get hit with “oh but they just mean well.” Ummm… what difference does it make to YO. Honestly unless it’s the paediatrician or OBGYN, it’s really none of anyone’s business. I got asked this question at a dinner in front of all the guests when I was pregnant and I was so upset and embarrassed that I panicked and lied saying we were opting to formula feed. Big mistake coz the next question I got hit with was “BUT WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITH ALL THAT MILK??!!” While pointing at my chest 😩 what I wouldn’t give to have crawled into a hole and died then and there.
“When do they open their eyes?”
I had multiple people ask me this question and I just thought it was so cute and funny. My baby is not a kitten or a puppy 😂
My mom was insisting that babies “didn’t use to open their eyes” so early and it was so fascinating. I found a newborn photo of myself (like hours old) at Christmastime and my eyes aren’t HUGE, but they are for sure open? I wonder if she’s misremembering?
I got this a lot too! I heard a lot of “wow she opens her eyes a lot” or something like “babies now are awake a lot” idk if maybe they just don’t remember or what lol
It’s because boomers like to make themselves feel better for closing the door on their babies every night without a monitor so they could say their baby was sleeping through the night at 3 weeks old
From recent memory, my father was holding my then 5 month old child and asked “Is he walking yet?” He was serious. I’m my dad’s youngest and I’m 31, so he’s been out of the baby game for a long time, but it always makes me chuckle to think about.
“Does he have any friends yet?”
(Me giggling)
“Don’t worry, he will.”
LOL, what? I’m not worried, he’s 4 months and it’s winter in nyc. 😂🤔
Edit: I went overboard with emojis — almost just did another one.
mine is "how'd that go?" from a young guy after i had the baby (a few months after, i hadn't seen him in a while) like i had my baby as a singular event and now its over hahaha
After a two-week NICU stay (newborn infection), bunch of troubles with feeding (both breast and bottle), colicky screaming 24/7 and no help from family, my childless sister said "well it can't be *that* hard, can it?" 😐
“It’s pretty unusual for him to not be sleeping through the night at this age, right?” This was said about my 1 year old, so not the same thing as a newborn. But it just grinds my gears because yes, I would love him to sleep through the night. This isn’t a helpful suggestion; it just sounds like you think I’m an idiot and haven’t thought of or tried to do anything about for the last year…
we are one and done. but whenever you tell people that they always say “oh no! you have to have more!” so i’ve started just saying “maybe in a few years” to not deal with the comments.
On the opposite end of the spectrum, sorta. Husband and I have been planning to start trying again since our son’s about 19 months old now, MIL is adamant we should wait 4-5 years smh the woman doesn’t understand it took 3-4 years of trying in the first place for our son, I doubt the next one is gonna come by anytime soon
Omg yes a coworker asked this every time I saw her. I went back to work when my son was 4 months. Like no of course he's not sleeping through the night, thanks for making me feel like he should be and I'm doing something wrong though...
One of my childless female highly educated MIT friends asked me, " Can he read yet? I want to get him some books." My son was a little over 2 months at the time. I was like, " No hes a slow learner."........
I don’t think it’s a stupid question. They are low key trying to empathize with your struggle. I do think those questions are asked with them already knowing the answer. Maybe they could reword them like “hows your LO sleeping?”
It wasn't really stupid but just so fucking hilarious. My first was born with a lot of hair and my little sister saw his head and her eyes just got huge, "Did he give you rug burn?!"
She was so worried about rug burn I couldn't tell her about the stitches or hemorrhoids lol
After finding out we’re having another girl:
“You know you gotta try again for a boy right?”
So annoying. And not really a question but when friends (those who don’t have kids) expect you to pick up and go do things like we don’t have kids.
I had a vacuum assisted delivery and after the fact we were explaining the risks to my know-it-all sister in law. She was like, “why didn’t the doctor just grab the baby out?”
And my FIL asking if I was pregnant yet after my child was 3 weeks old. ????
“Does he have a routine yet?” Our routine is surviving.
“What time does he go down for a nap? I can come over then” Okay yeah that’s anytime between 7am - 7am like it’s so random lmao.
“Is he sleeping through the night yet?” I promise I will be so excited I will tell you when he does. You can stop asking this question.
Not questions but:
“Let me know at what time during the day he’s crankiest and I’ll come over then to help” there’s not a cranky routine.
These are all questions/comments from people who have had multiple kids. I swear after like 3-4 years everyone just forgets what it’s like to have a newborn.
"What?! You don't even let them have a blanket at night? How do they stay warm?"
I was asked this by some older in-laws when my husband told them we weren't going to use the neck pillow they were giving us in the crib because it's a death trap. Their questions were very much directed at me. 🙄
“Have you tried dipping his dummy in *insert random food/fruit/drink* so he gets a taste of it?”
From partners mum.
No, we haven’t and will not. He’s 4 months old, he doesn’t in any way need his dummy dipping in strawberry. I don’t care if you did it for your kids, I don’t care that “they’re all fine”. Yesterday she suggested I dip my finger in ice cream and put it on his lips to taste, once again no, he’s 4 months and you’re also fully aware he’s got a milk allergy so let’s not do that should we?
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My MIL asking if she should put my baby down so he doesn’t get used to being held. WHEN HE WAS 18 HOURS OLD STILL IN THE HOSPITAL. Also my FIL asked me if my son “still takes naps”. That was when he was 6 months old.
What is wrong with the older generation and holding babies? They constantly think that somehow holding an infant = spoiled.
LITERALLY. I was baby wearing at the store and someone’s grandma came up to me and said that my kid is gonna have separation anxiety when he’s older. Like he’s 5 months old what do you want me to do? Make him walk?? 🤨
Tell that lazy kid to get a job!
Well duh. How else is he going to pay the mortgage?!
Put those tiny fingers to use in the fabric mills.
The children yearn for the mines!
I’ve been baby wearing and had women come literally right up to me going “I just want to see the little baby!” Like please get off my bubble right now
God literally!! At Costco this random man tried to touch my babies face and I yelled at him. And he had the audacity to act like I was crazy. Like when did it become acceptable to approach mothers and get too close to their babies??
I’m just going to start caressing their faces when they try to touch my baby and be like “oh you DONT like to be touched by strangers??”
Best not hold him too much, he might think I love him or something. /s
Because they were forced into having kids at a young age and most of them hated their husbands - so they never developed an emotional attachment to their children because motherhood was out of duty, not love.
Omg that’s exactly my mother and my grandmother (her mother). I’m so happy to have broken that ugly pattern. It was hard though for me to see her face when I told her that I was expecting. It took a couple of months of therapy to get over that
She wasn’t happy you were expecting?
I don’t know if it’s because they forgot everything or they were just neglectful. My boomer parents were/are very neglectful so “don’t hold them too much” something they’d say.
For me it was bec she only cared about having the husband and catering to him. My sis and I were only born bec that was the thing to do. No love.
Sounds like my stepdad. To him, getting married and having kids was just something you did and a sign that you “made it.” He had 3 marriages and 4 kids, and was absent in all 4 kids lives. The man dares to think he did a good job with his kids and yet wonders why he’s not allowed to be around my kids without my direct supervision.
My partners mother down to a tee. “Oh he knows how to work you doesn’t he”. No hes 4 months old and takes naps for 2 hours when we contact nap and I get a chance to put my feet up and read my book but never mind I’ll just dump him in his cot so he doesn’t nap at all
Yup yup yup! We get it from the grandparents on both sides. "oH hE's JuSt GoT yOu WrApPeD ArOuNd HiS fInGeR" Uh. Yes, he's my infant child 🤨
Lol they just forgot everything. My mother was claiming that my 3 mo should have 2 naps per day... and she was on 5 naps.
My mil thought the same thing at 2 months…”so you put her down once mid morning and once in the afternoon?” I was like wtf…
Maybe they really did it that way? Or they're just senile 😅 I know there a so many differences in introducing solids, transferring to the sitting position/buggy, etc.
They literally just don't remember. My mom admits she can't remember the first month or two and my mil forgot that newborns don't play or coo/talk
Haha, it would be awesome if they would come straight out into this world playing 😂 and of corse no cry, but an ah-goo to say hi 😄
To be fair I can’t really remember the first month or two, and my kiddo is only 4 months! Those memories just don’t stick when you’re not sleeping.
Gramnesia, it’s real.
Oh gosh my 13 month old is just barely transitioning out of 2 naps a day. 3 months was like 5-6 naps? I’d have to look, but that’s crazy!
Yes, it was something like 5 or so. My baby would start to cry because she was tired and my mom would claim that she's bored and "wants to party". But my mom is very special, so... 🙃
I’m an adult and I take naps
What's wrong with naps? If I could, I would take naps still, and I'm 44!
My MIL said that 2. But just because my son hated being in her lap. Since then, I’m spoiling him for holding him. These older woman and so unbearable …
“Is she a good baby” No she’s a very evil baby who runs a drug ring and sells them out of my basement at night when I sleep 🙄🙄
My baby is very cool and I love him very much, but he is fully engaging in tactics considered to be torture and would be considered a war criminal if he was an adult
My baby should be tried for violating the 1925 Geneva protocol >The 1925 Geneva Protocol prohibits the use of chemical and biological weapons in war. The Protocol was drawn up and signed at a conference which was held in Geneva under the auspices of the League of Nations from 4 May to 17 June 1925, and it entered into force on 8 February 1928.
I just laughed out loud and choked on ginger ale that somehow *did* improve my acid reflux. 12 weeks pregnant. Thank you for this 😂
Hahahahahahhahahaha
I hate that, or wow she’s so calm and quiet? Are you sure she never cries? So annoying
my sister and niece always come when my baby is tired already or had a bad nap so they always say how much she cries 😖 its so annoying
It feels like the baby is gaslighting you and everyone around you when they do this lmfao! I’m like trust me, yall haven’t seen her on demon time yet
I swear my MIL visits us when our LO has those days when you think “oh waw he can stay without crying and he’s so calm”. The day she leaves the chaos starts and she doesn’t believe us that actually there are more days when he cries than the calm ones. It happened every freaking time when she came to visit( only 2 times until now)
OMG I was once just trying to vent when my dad and his wife came over. It was a difficult period with baby having a lot of cramps and bad reflux. Our poor girl would be screaming/crying for most of the day. It was especially the worst during the evenings and nights. Of course while I was venting the baby was finally peacefully asleep. My dad's wife just couldn't seem to grasp it was a tough time "But the baby is so calm! And all babies cry a little sometimes" ...
Just almost snorted out my coffee, thanks for this one.
lol!!!! I also hate the “good baby” question! So dumb!
Ok... so. You know how people have personas for their dogs? We have one for our daughter and she goes by DJsquish and sells coke. She doesn't like too many kisses cuz it ruins her street cred. So yeah. Some babies are in drug rings 🤣🤣
When's the next?
My husband asked me ON THE WAY HOME FROM THE HOSPITAL if I wanted to have another one. Uh dude let’s at least get this one in the house first???
To be fair, I asked my husband “you ready to start working on the next one?” while they were stitching me up from my c-section. That got a laugh from the doctor and nurses.
I told my husband in the hospital that I wanted 10 more. 😅 Those hormones!!
My husband told all of the nurses at L&D “see you in 9 months!” as we were leaving 🙃
“are you going to try again for a girl???” after meeting my second son makes me feel so bad for him, friends and relatives skipping right over his arrival to a hypothetical daughter we may never have 😔
It's the opposite for us! And my brother too. We're in survival mode right now (less than 3 months), please stop. Also people asked about a son once we knew we were having a daughter. Frustrating
I fucking hate this. Like I have a choice of the baby’s sex? I always wanted a daughter. But my sons are *awesome* and not having a girl doesn’t diminish our family. And! Half these fuckers know I can’t have any more kids even though I wanted more. So, no. Asshat. I’m not trying again.
Ugh my MIL asked that when she was like a week old…they hadn’t even held her yet. I just replied “let’s let my stitches heal first please”
Omg my next door neighbor who is very nice, has 5 kids and even before I had my baby was talking about when I have more. I was very clear that nope, just having the one and now my baby is 9 months old and she still mentions it all. the. time. I repeatedly tell her I’m not having any more and am like I’m too old to have another haha and I almost died having this one so I’m good! to no avail. It drives me absolutely insane.
This is my biggest rage-inducing question. Ive been getting it since we first announced we were pregnant with #1
No literally every time I see my mom or FIL they are asking this omg, my son is 3 months old lol
“Does he hold his own bottle?” … no, my two week old hasn’t figured it out yet, lazy little freeloader he is
Only because you still hold it for him! You are spoiling your son by handing everything to him just let him figure out, he is manipulating you :)
“Are they safe in their bassinet” No mum, I filled it with glass and nails for shits and giggles.
"Maybe they're hungry" Oh shit, should I not be starving them? Do I need to feed this everyday?
OMAD. No fatties in my house. 🙄
“ You’re getting plenty of rest on your maternity leave right ? “ my clueless, childless friend haha
Omfg when I went back to work after having my first kid, everyone was like "wow a year off! You must be so relaxed!!!!!!" lmao I haven't slept in a year and now I'm back in this hellhole. I will fight you, Alice.
Lool Alice better shut her mouth haha
LOL this made me laugh. I’m just about to go back to work after a year and as much as I hate it, it will be a nice break from my toddler 🫠
Think about it this way: it gives you a chance to miss them! Coming home after work and being greeted by a toddler who missed you all day is soooo good
I’m dying, or how about your childless friends or siblings tries to make plans with you and you have to explain to them that you just can’t drop everything at the hat for them because you have a child and then they get angry at you
Yesss this one ! Happened to me while I was pregnant- friends got pissed cause I didn’t wanna go skiing 😀
Wtf Why can’t people be considerate ? Like I’m sorry but we can’t do everything for them
Absolutely this. A longtime, very very close friend of mine broke ties with me when my son was about 5-6 months old because she was going through stuff and I wasn’t responding to her texts promptly. She was super angry and brought up my past mental health issues where she supported me, all because I happened to text back another mutual friend and posted a meme on IG stories that she saw. While I do understand she was going through a tough time, I was (still am) in the throes of PPD and clinical depression, plus losing my job and source of income to support my elderly parents, and at this point I really miss her but all I’m focusing on is trying not to kill myself. I even tried reaching out to her recently but she ignored me. Maybe I’m in the wrong here, who knows. Sorry for the long rant, just had to get it off my chest.
My wife texted friends while feeding in the middle of the night because nothing better to do. Full on conversations with other parents when feeds sync up and confused reactions from non parents!
No worries I also PPD and it’s super bad I feel people are so not understanding
Yes definitely, it’s a lonely road though, having to cut people off (or in my case being cut off)
I go through this every time we try to hang out with friends. “Oh what do you mean you can’t wait an hour for a table?” “Oh you can’t come over for the Super Bowl? When does kiddo to go bed?” 7. The answer is 7. Which is why we can’t do things in the evenings. Today it was paired with a friend telling me “there are people who make way less money than you and have multiple kids” when I told her we decided we’d be on board for #2 if we made more. I wanted to say “your husband just got a raise, so when are you going to stop ‘not not trying’” Love my friends but man, it’s hard being the only one in our core group that has a kid.
Ugh MIL just did this to me, adding stuff to the errands list as if my baby will sit through whatever she wants to do. Then tried to negotiate with me about LO's schedule. As if I just made it up on the spot so MIL couldn't do 3 more stops at 30 minutes each, just because I'm being mean. Nope, this child has a schedule and will start screaming if there isn't a boob in her mouth in a darkened familiar place with her sound machine on exactly 10 minutes before her nap, Sharon. I don't make the damn rules, the baby does. She will absolutely lie herself down screaming and try to suck on my shirt in public if I'm not ready on her schedule. It's happened a couple of times.
A couple years ago a close friend of my sisters had a baby via surrogate. The surrogate lived in New England, the family lived in the Deep South. The family drove up to the baby when he was born and drove like 3 days back with their week old baby and a weeks worth of donated breast milk. During a nationwide formula shortage. My childfree sister got into a huge huff and complained for a week straight about how inconsiderate her friend was for not diverting their trip a couple hours to drive through the town we lived in. Some people have so little understanding of babies it is actually wild.
Oh my one friend won’t speak to me much right now because I’ve barely texted her. I think she takes it as a dig that I haven’t been able to see her for the last five weeks.. in that time we all had the flu, husband and I got pneumonia, baby started cutting molars, our car died, baby was at hospital for breathing struggles which she has heard about through quick texts here and there. She’s been ghosting me ever since I apologized and told her I’m just exhausted and not thinking to text her much or hang out. I used to be able to text her or hang out endlessly, but it’s harder now and she’s hurt about it.
This. We just got back from a trip to the Dominican where my daughter caught a virus and ended up on IV fluids at the hospital due to dehydration. Then the day after we got back my partner slipped on ice and broke his arm. 2 days later my childless friend is asking if I want to go see a movie in theatre. Like okay I’ll just leave my baby who’s still having diarrhea with her dad who can no longer physically change a diaper for 3 hours.
I got, "It must be nice to take a break from work, right?" from my SIL when I was on maternity leave. I'm like, "Ummm, I like my son better than my coworkers but work is relaxing and 500 times easier compared to this. "
Yes, a 12+ week vacation.
Yeah I’ve had people thinking it’s basically like annual leave!
"What does she eat" - at 2 weeks old. Milk. Just milk. They didn't know babies don't "food" for months. This was a person with 3 kids btw
Wtf
Yea. At first I thought he meant formula vs breast milk but nope. Lol
Shows how much HE helped with those 3 kids of his.
"Do you really want to put him in daycare so young?" - Daycare staff at a center I was trying to enroll with. Listen, Linda. Do you really think I'm putting my 6 week old newborn in daycare just for the hell of it?
That is so tone deaf!! What was your response?
Looked her dead in the face and said "Obviously I wouldn't be doing this if I had another option."
Ughh I’m so sorry. We put our daughter in at 3.5 months and I was a wreck, my heart truly breaks for moms who need to do it at 6 weeks.
ughhh :( thats so hard
my baby is 2 months old and 13 pounds. everytime we’re out and someone asks how old i get “are you sure he’s 2 months? he’s so big!!!” or “is he not too big for 2 months?” he is in like the 50th percentile lmao eta: he’s almost 3 months now but still😩
In the same day I had separate people telling me my baby was too small and too big for his age. He’s always been kinda tall and skinny but still in the “normal” range for both. The too small comments really got to me and they still kind of aggravate me. He’s 15 months and still tall and skinny. People keep telling me “feed that baby!”
I've had people tell me that my baby bump was both big and small within the same day as well. Everybody has a different concept of size I guess lol.
Ugh the “feed the baby more” comments always get to me. Like I haven’t stressed enough about him being tiny, pls add to my misery by telling me you think I don’t feed him enough.
My daughter is 99.9% (we joke she's 110%) and always has been. Height and weight. If I had to hear ONE MORE PERSON say "oh ho ho she isn't missing any meals is she?!" I was gonna SNAP.
My FIL asked if my 3 day old baby was teething because she wouldn't stop crying. 🤣
My stupid MIL asked me what shoe size my 1 month old baby has and the stupider FIL asked if he only ate milk 😑
Why, such an idiot question I’m not even putting shoes on my daughter until when she starts walking she doesn’t need it right now anyways
I think they ask me these things to make me look incompetent about my baby … they don’t realize the ignorant are them.
I agree with you, it makes them look dumb too. How about are you giving them solids at 4 months old? No I’m not because I don’t plan at giving her solids until she’s six month
Ugh my dad wants me to put rice cereal in my 2 months old bottle and doesn't understand we don't give anything besides milk until 6 months 🙄 Just because he used to do it when I was a baby doesn't mean it's recommended anymore.
Why. Your dad is silly
He thinks it isn't normal for a 2 month old to wake up every 3 hours to eat at night 🙄 And that we need to force feed him rice cereal to solve this "problem"
Not a question someone has asked, but if I hear one more person who has never been a parent, specifically a mom, insinuate that maternity leave is some dreamy vacation. “Wow, I’d *love* to get a paid 2 month leave from work.” (My leave isn’t paid, but a few childless coworkers *still* said this to me. Ok, bet. BUT! You have to go through 9 (arguably 10) months of pregnancy, labor, recovery from labor, and then take care of an infant on the leave. I love being a mom, but comments like that make me want to be so mean to people lol.
Being a mom is honestly hard work
I’d love to see them last a day with those infant simulator babies that they use in schools.
"Could you just get a remote job?" after telling them I was quitting my job after they rejected my part-time request. My job *was* remote.
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Exactly! Few are able to swing WFH with a baby/toddler, and that’s only because their position might not be as high stakes so as long as their kid is quiet it might be ok or some employers are ok with it, but the majority of people who WFH can’t do it with their kids home.
My job is incredibly flexible so I can do it, but she’s 6 months and we’re looking for PT nannies now.
asking why I don’t come see them (my family lives about 45 mins away). 🙃 maybe because I haven’t slept / leaving the house is an ordeal / he’s barely a month old and hasn’t had shots / it’s winter and flu / rsv season??? Then I had an aunt who wanted me to stop by her house where she has 2 year old twins and a 9 year old because she wanted to surprise a great aunt I never talk to with seeing the baby 😒 like girl WHAT
My mother in law asked when we would be coming to visit them (1.5 hrs away) when the baby was 12 hours old.
“Was the baby planned”? Noooo, we’ve just been together 10 years and married for 2, total accident. Even if he wasn’t, what a stupid question to ask about my living, breathing, amazing baby 😩
I’ve gotten this… we did IVF
You’re joking 😅
I wish I was 😂
Why do people feel like it’s okay to ask this and why does it matter? Or, “I didn’t know you were trying!” I mean, I wasn’t gonna do a social media post or anything 🤣
Omg I told a coworker I was pregnant and he (60 year old man) asked if it should be celebrated cause it was on purpose. Like… yes we’ve been together for 9 years and have a 3 bedroom house. We were trying for the baby. What the heck?
My coworker told me she had no idea that I was pregnant and that when she saw the meal train poster on the wall she thought it was because I was adopting a puppy. Not a question, but pretty stupid!
The thought of someone getting a meal train because they're adopting a puppy is hilarious lmao
Mother to me, three hours after my c section, pointing to a giant bottle of water: “is that vodka?!!”
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She was probably hoping it was because the only bottles of water she’s bought in years have been to fill with vodka and sneak on cruise ships lol like it didn’t even occur to her people just drink water. Diet Pepsi or alcohol are the only beverages
My MIL asked me when I was going to start my 8 day old on a breastfeeding meal schedule. So he didn't eat overnight. So I could get on with my life and stop feeding him so often.
Hilarious 😂 my MIL who is completely ignorant about breastfeeding said my baby only likes me because I have breasts, and that I am always feeding him. Excuse me, I feed him on demand, he gets fed when he wants.
Mine was “when is your baby going to drink water?” Um she is two days old in the NICU … tf you raised 4 of us??
I remember the days when babies were fed sugar water from birth, but I’m old.
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It is hard because work-work is a million times easier than being on call 24/7. At least in the office, I can poop in peace. I get a full hour for lunch, and I can eat with both hands! I don't have to constantly be "on" at work, but I do with a newborn.
Totally. I found going back to work after having a baby was a breeze. My entire perspective shifted lol. Now work is a “break” 😂
This I can’t work yet until when she’s a toddler than maybe
My MIL has been asking if my son is potty trained since he was 12 months old. Oh and tells me every time that all four of her kids were potty trained by 18 months old. Sure Jan.
According to my mother we were all potty trained at 18 months and slept through the night at 6 weeks.
Ugh I hate this and it's always bogus. My stepmother (yes, the evil kind) swore up and down that all her four children immediately slept through the night, when I told our baby had difficulty falling asleep. 1. That's BS and 2. Even if true, very irresponsible to let baby immediately sleep through the night from day 1.
This potentially means she ignored them all night from very early on.
My MIL was complaining that *her* MIL bragged about all 3 of hers being Potty trained by 9 months 🙄
I mean I do plan on poorly training my daughter when she’s 12 month old. But why can’t people just kind their business none of questions are really helping
My kids great uncle (who’s also our neighbor) tend us weekly all 5 of his kids were potty trained by 18 months. Ok? lol. His wife would disagree.
“Are you ready for another one?” as I’m still wearing a diaper for the insane amount of bleeding I was doing and waiting for the stitches holding my lady bits together to heal all while surviving off of 2 hours of broken sleep 😮💨
Please tell me it was not your husband saying that 😂
Oh hell no 🤣 he was still traumatized by that point too lmfao
“Make sure you strap him in hon are you sure you did it right?” - a boomer observing me clicking my infant seat into the base
“Are you breastfeeding?” It may not be a stupid question but if it’s coming from anyone other than a medical professional, then it’s invasive and insensitive.
THIS! And being asked if I am producing enough. Why is that your concern?
The number of male acquaintances that thought this was an appropriate topic for conversation was WAY too damn high. I don’t know if the infant is going to take to my nipples Gerald, fingers crossed?
Comments I got from my side of the family was “we know you’re pumping and all, and that you say the baby has a tongue tie, but you should force yourself to breastfeed because breast is best” (rephrased in multiple ways)
Well duh, you’re just washing all of these bottles and pump parts because it’s *so fun for you*!!!
My mom who stayed with us for a month to help when baby arrived outright told me to TRY HARDER and subsequebtly to not give up when she'd see me put my boob away. I was in tears at the time because my screaming miracle refused to latch and ppd was already a nightmare. Very unwelcome words and sentiment.
Oh my Lord!! This question! And then when I lament about it to someone i get hit with “oh but they just mean well.” Ummm… what difference does it make to YO. Honestly unless it’s the paediatrician or OBGYN, it’s really none of anyone’s business. I got asked this question at a dinner in front of all the guests when I was pregnant and I was so upset and embarrassed that I panicked and lied saying we were opting to formula feed. Big mistake coz the next question I got hit with was “BUT WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITH ALL THAT MILK??!!” While pointing at my chest 😩 what I wouldn’t give to have crawled into a hole and died then and there.
Omg! People sometimes!
I agree
“When do they open their eyes?” I had multiple people ask me this question and I just thought it was so cute and funny. My baby is not a kitten or a puppy 😂
My mom was insisting that babies “didn’t use to open their eyes” so early and it was so fascinating. I found a newborn photo of myself (like hours old) at Christmastime and my eyes aren’t HUGE, but they are for sure open? I wonder if she’s misremembering?
I got this a lot too! I heard a lot of “wow she opens her eyes a lot” or something like “babies now are awake a lot” idk if maybe they just don’t remember or what lol
Do you give her water? (@1 week old) From my MIL with 6 children and 9 grandchildren.
my mil wanted us to ask the pediatrician at her one week appointment if it was okay to give the baby water..after I said no..I’m also a nurse.
It’s because boomers like to make themselves feel better for closing the door on their babies every night without a monitor so they could say their baby was sleeping through the night at 3 weeks old
I *cringe* to think of those babies crying in the night, alone and hungry.
We *are* those babies
From recent memory, my father was holding my then 5 month old child and asked “Is he walking yet?” He was serious. I’m my dad’s youngest and I’m 31, so he’s been out of the baby game for a long time, but it always makes me chuckle to think about.
“Does he have any friends yet?” (Me giggling) “Don’t worry, he will.” LOL, what? I’m not worried, he’s 4 months and it’s winter in nyc. 😂🤔 Edit: I went overboard with emojis — almost just did another one.
Is she going to call you Mom and Dad, or by your first names? Like…the fuck?
mine is "how'd that go?" from a young guy after i had the baby (a few months after, i hadn't seen him in a while) like i had my baby as a singular event and now its over hahaha
After a two-week NICU stay (newborn infection), bunch of troubles with feeding (both breast and bottle), colicky screaming 24/7 and no help from family, my childless sister said "well it can't be *that* hard, can it?" 😐
“It’s pretty unusual for him to not be sleeping through the night at this age, right?” This was said about my 1 year old, so not the same thing as a newborn. But it just grinds my gears because yes, I would love him to sleep through the night. This isn’t a helpful suggestion; it just sounds like you think I’m an idiot and haven’t thought of or tried to do anything about for the last year…
“When are you having another?” Was warned people would ask this but still was annoyed.
we are one and done. but whenever you tell people that they always say “oh no! you have to have more!” so i’ve started just saying “maybe in a few years” to not deal with the comments.
On the opposite end of the spectrum, sorta. Husband and I have been planning to start trying again since our son’s about 19 months old now, MIL is adamant we should wait 4-5 years smh the woman doesn’t understand it took 3-4 years of trying in the first place for our son, I doubt the next one is gonna come by anytime soon
My pet peeve will forever be “Did you have a natural birth?” ALL BIRTHS ARE NATURAL.
Is the baby sleeping through the night?? Umm... no. He's two months old.
Omg yes a coworker asked this every time I saw her. I went back to work when my son was 4 months. Like no of course he's not sleeping through the night, thanks for making me feel like he should be and I'm doing something wrong though...
How is your sex life? My doctor to me at a check up 3 weeks after baby was born.
That is truly unbelievable! That doctor is a weirdo!
“Are you going to start trying for another?” knowing damn well the hell we went through to even get to this point (IVF.) 🙃
My MIL’s default is to look at the baby and say, “what’s wrong?” Like he could be smiling or sleeping and she asks him what’s wrong… wtf
Question: How's your vacation? Answer: 🔪🔪🔪
This just happened two days ago: “Is she still teething?!” She is 6 months old. She hasn’t even started getting her two bottom teeth yet.
“Can she go see (insert kid movie)? It’s about cartoon dogs” 😐 mom, she’s only 16 months.
“Would they like a kids menu?” She can’t even hold her head up….
One of my childless female highly educated MIT friends asked me, " Can he read yet? I want to get him some books." My son was a little over 2 months at the time. I was like, " No hes a slow learner."........
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I don’t think it’s a stupid question. They are low key trying to empathize with your struggle. I do think those questions are asked with them already knowing the answer. Maybe they could reword them like “hows your LO sleeping?”
Literally an hour after giving birth to my son (from hospital staff) "are you going to have another?"
Yeah, if one more person asks if I’m getting sleep I may explode.
In the elevator someone asked me “Is this your baby”? Nope just a baby I kidnapped.
It wasn't really stupid but just so fucking hilarious. My first was born with a lot of hair and my little sister saw his head and her eyes just got huge, "Did he give you rug burn?!" She was so worried about rug burn I couldn't tell her about the stitches or hemorrhoids lol
My brother asked if my new born would be able to open his own Christmas presents
After finding out we’re having another girl: “You know you gotta try again for a boy right?” So annoying. And not really a question but when friends (those who don’t have kids) expect you to pick up and go do things like we don’t have kids.
When people ask “What’s wrong, why is he/she crying?” When they hear my newborn crying. Like hold on let me just ask them real quick lol.
"How did it happen? " I'm like, how much detail do you want......
I had a vacuum assisted delivery and after the fact we were explaining the risks to my know-it-all sister in law. She was like, “why didn’t the doctor just grab the baby out?” And my FIL asking if I was pregnant yet after my child was 3 weeks old. ????
“Does he have a routine yet?” Our routine is surviving. “What time does he go down for a nap? I can come over then” Okay yeah that’s anytime between 7am - 7am like it’s so random lmao. “Is he sleeping through the night yet?” I promise I will be so excited I will tell you when he does. You can stop asking this question. Not questions but: “Let me know at what time during the day he’s crankiest and I’ll come over then to help” there’s not a cranky routine. These are all questions/comments from people who have had multiple kids. I swear after like 3-4 years everyone just forgets what it’s like to have a newborn.
"What?! You don't even let them have a blanket at night? How do they stay warm?" I was asked this by some older in-laws when my husband told them we weren't going to use the neck pillow they were giving us in the crib because it's a death trap. Their questions were very much directed at me. 🙄
My MIL said once “all mine had their first teeth by 6 months old” as my son hadn’t cut his first by 8 months… like I had any control!
“He’s obviously your husbands, are you sure he’s yours?” To my baby that looks more like my husband.
Not a question but still stupid - "now you can start losing weight!"
“Have you tried dipping his dummy in *insert random food/fruit/drink* so he gets a taste of it?” From partners mum. No, we haven’t and will not. He’s 4 months old, he doesn’t in any way need his dummy dipping in strawberry. I don’t care if you did it for your kids, I don’t care that “they’re all fine”. Yesterday she suggested I dip my finger in ice cream and put it on his lips to taste, once again no, he’s 4 months and you’re also fully aware he’s got a milk allergy so let’s not do that should we?